This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:31] R. Alex Murray: Hello, adventurers. Welcome back. It's me, your pod master, R. Alex Murray. We're hanging out today with Diego and Jasmine. We all know everybody because, oh, we've all been listening to the podcast for weeks and weeks now, and we're old friends. What's up, y'all?

[0:48] Diego F. Salinas: Nothing much, man. I'm excited for what we got in store today. This is going to be a very fun episode.

[0:53] Jasmine Malave: Same. When you came up with this idea, I was super excited to do this one.

[0:57] R. Alex Murray: I will say straight up, my whole pitch for this idea is that we do it and then eventually we use them. We use these characters.

[1:05] Diego F. Salinas: Yes, please. Oh, I'm already going to keep this character. I want a battle royale between these characters.

[1:09] Jasmine Malave: Just a huge WWE-esque PvP.

[1:12] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, yeah. Put us in the fighting pits. Put up a bracket. Let's have like, you know, forget March Madness. Let's do December debauchery.

[1:21] Diego F. Salinas: Yes.

[1:22] R. Alex Murray: Yes. So, friends, here's what we're doing today. We're playing a game that I am tentatively calling No Sheet for Sherlock, unless we can think of a better one.

[1:30] Jasmine Malave: No, it's good.

[1:31] Diego F. Salinas: I got nothing.

[1:32] R. Alex Murray: I have been trying and trying. I have done it before elsewhere. We called it All Blocked Up, but like, that's weird.

[1:40] Jasmine Malave: What does that mean?

[1:41] R. Alex Murray: Well, like, we're making a stat block.

[1:42] Diego F. Salinas: It sounds like you really need a laxative.

[1:43] R. Alex Murray: The joke was we need to like shit these characters out.

[1:50] Jasmine Malave: That's funny.

[1:52] R. Alex Murray: So yeah, yeah, we're going to call it No Sheet for Sherlock, and here's what we're going to do. We're going to take, you know, today's episode, and the three of us have all brought, I think, two fictional characters and a real person, and what we're going to do is build them as playable characters in 5e, so that by the end of this show, we'll publish the sheets somewhere, probably in the Discord.

[2:15] Diego F. Salinas: You can play them, we can play them, anybody can play them, and I don't know, get on Reddit and talk about how we're idiots and we're wrong.

[2:22] R. Alex Murray: That's all any podcaster really wants.

[2:23] Diego F. Salinas: No, I already know I'm not wrong about this one. I came onto this podcast wanting to make nerds angry, so I am ready for your ire, and I welcome it.

[2:30] Jasmine Malave: The nerd rage fuels me.

[2:32] Diego F. Salinas: It does.

[2:33] R. Alex Murray: But before we start, before we jump into, like, building these characters to play, there's been a whole lot of discussion on the Discord as well about, like, the fans have started talking about what species in class all of us are, which is pretty great, and there's some significant discourse about, like, what I'm seeing in there is them being like, well, I really feel like Diego's, like, probably like a barbarian, or maybe like a fighter, or like, maybe like a monk, and I'm like, maybe like just the warrior that I play on stage?

[3:07] Jasmine Malave: When I was trickster, what would you have thought I would have been?

[3:11] R. Alex Murray: That's what somebody was like, like, Jasmine's got, like, real, like, sorcerer vibes, and I was like, did you guys just see the show?

[3:20] Diego F. Salinas: Astute observation.

[3:22] R. Alex Murray: But what do you think that you would, do you think you would be in real life?

[3:26] Jasmine Malave: I mean, you know, or in real fake life?

[3:29] Diego F. Salinas: I think you'd be like a, I think you would be a martial class.

[3:32] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, I feel like I would probably be a martial class or something, like, honestly, probably rogue-y.

[3:37] Diego F. Salinas: I don't think it's a martial class that you realize is a martial class.

[3:42] Jasmine Malave: You're sneaky.

[3:43] Diego F. Salinas: I sneak up behind people all the time on accident.

[3:46] Jasmine Malave: You are very small and very quiet.

[3:47] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, I don't do it on purpose.

[3:49] Jasmine Malave: I feel like that's just a natural, that, or I'm just like already just gnome.

[3:52] Diego F. Salinas: Just say gnome and then put me somewhere else.

[3:55] Jasmine Malave: So, we're starting from gnome for certain.

[3:58] Diego F. Salinas: I do love the idea of, like, a gnome assassin that you don't know they're right behind you until they're just like, sorry about this one.

[4:05] Jasmine Malave: And like, hiding in plain sight, just so friendly, and it's like, yeah, oh, what's up? You, like, you and your tamagotchi, just like, you're just wheeling your little, like, cart of, like, adorable pets through the town square and then you strike at night.

[4:18] Diego F. Salinas: I'm just the lady who has a cat inside of a stroller and just said, don't expect her, and then all of a sudden you're dead.

[4:24] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, you unzip the cat and it's a knife.

[4:30] Diego F. Salinas: I like that.

[4:31] R. Alex Murray: A gnome-ish rogue assassin.

[4:34] Diego F. Salinas: This cat lady will make you childless by killing your child's zizzes.

[4:38] Jasmine Malave: Perfect.

[4:40] Diego F. Salinas: I love that. I've got gnome assassins.

[4:42] R. Alex Murray: So good. What about you, man?

[4:44] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, man. I don't know. I mean, like, I feel like being a performer, like-

[4:47] R. Alex Murray: No bards.

[4:48] Diego F. Salinas: You can't say bards.

[4:49] R. Alex Murray: You can't say bards. We all have no fun.

[4:51] Diego F. Salinas: We all have a performance background. It's the problem with, I've played this game, it's like, that we're about to play with other people too, and it's like, if you say a rock star, they can't be a bard, they have to be something else.

[5:00] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[5:01] Diego F. Salinas: I think, I don't know, I'm kind of drawn, like, sorcerer, like, popped into my head.

[5:05] R. Alex Murray: Like-

[5:06] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, you just inherited all your magic.

[5:07] R. Alex Murray: They just-

[5:09] Diego F. Salinas: No!

[5:10] R. Alex Murray: I'm powerful.

[5:11] Diego F. Salinas: I don't know where it came from.

[5:12] R. Alex Murray: Did you study for it?

[5:13] Diego F. Salinas: No.

[5:14] R. Alex Murray: Nah.

[5:15] Diego F. Salinas: It just came naturally.

[5:16] R. Alex Murray: Sorry.

[5:17] Diego F. Salinas: Mystical, like, your grandfather was, like, a dragon?

[5:18] R. Alex Murray: Nah.

[5:19] Diego F. Salinas: I don't know, man.

[5:20] R. Alex Murray: Nah, just, someone was in the right place at the wrong time.

[5:23] Diego F. Salinas: I like that for you, because it's still a charisma caster, which I think needs to be your primary.

[5:27] R. Alex Murray: Yes.

[5:28] Diego F. Salinas: For sure. And I also, like, in terms of a species, ever since I first started playing D&D, I've always loved tieflings, because my favorite color is red, and they're, like, red in a lot of the character art that you see.

[5:40] R. Alex Murray: And so, yeah, I think a little tiefling sorcerer-

[5:43] Diego F. Salinas: Sneaky tiefling sorcerer that's just slamming tequila and blasting magic everywhere.

[5:48] R. Alex Murray: That's so fun.

[5:49] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would love to be the tequila sorcerer.

[5:51] Jasmine Malave: What's a drunken master version of a sorcerer?

[5:54] Diego F. Salinas: Where is that?

[5:55] R. Alex Murray: I think it's just a sorcerer.

[5:56] Diego F. Salinas: It's just a sorcerer.

[5:57] R. Alex Murray: Wait, can-

[5:58] Diego F. Salinas: A sorcerer with too much disposable income.

[6:00] R. Alex Murray: Oh, god.

[6:01] Diego F. Salinas: You gained your powers from the original mezcal worm you ate.

[6:04] R. Alex Murray: Yes! Yes! Oh my god, 100%.

[6:07] Diego F. Salinas: Hold on. I drank the mezcal worm-

[6:09] R. Alex Murray: Now you're a warlock.

[6:10] Diego F. Salinas: Now this is like, you have a pact with the god of agave.

[6:14] R. Alex Murray: This is interesting, because this is lining up, interestingly, close with what the character that I brought in today.

[6:20] Diego F. Salinas: But before we get to that-

[6:21] R. Alex Murray: Oh, that's great. What did you have?

[6:23] Diego F. Salinas: What are you thinking?

[6:24] R. Alex Murray: I mean, this is fun, because people look at me and they're like, oh, yeah, well, you're like a dwarven barbarian.

[6:28] Diego F. Salinas: No, no, no, no. I am a gnome druid.

[6:31] Jasmine Malave: Yay!

[6:32] R. Alex Murray: All day long.

[6:33] Diego F. Salinas: I love that for you.

[6:34] R. Alex Murray: I'm just in the fucking woods, stones, talking to a fucking deer, man.

[6:39] Jasmine Malave: Yes.

[6:40] R. Alex Murray: I am like, I am David. Did you guys ever watch David the Gnome? Are you old enough for this shit?

[6:43] Diego F. Salinas: It's just you in the woods saying, you want some good berries?

[6:44] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, just like-

[6:45] Diego F. Salinas: Yo, geez, where'd you come from?

[6:46] R. Alex Murray: Exactly. You're lost, and I just like, come out of a tree stump, just like, hey, what's up? You want some good berries, man? You hungry? You got munchies? You like good berries?

[6:52] Diego F. Salinas: Just like a very chill Tom Bombadil.

[6:53] R. Alex Murray: Tom Bombadil with like, less magic.

[6:54] Diego F. Salinas: Like, not as old, and like, an expiration date, right?

[6:56] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[6:57] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[6:58] R. Alex Murray: Super worried about.

[7:01] Diego F. Salinas: Like, yeah, man, I'll be here, man. Me talking to the tree.

[7:04] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, man. Welcome to the bonfire. Be at ease. Braid some flowers in your beard, man, and you're all set.

[7:07] Jasmine Malave: That's so perfect.

[7:09] Diego F. Salinas: For sure. Don't be a dick, or I will light you on fire.

[7:10] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, I will mold earth and just drop you into the ground.

[7:11] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:12] R. Alex Murray: Oh, my gosh. That's funny.

[7:14] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, it's fun. And I like that, because it's people, especially wandering around here, like, before the show starts, they're like, oh, what's up? You're a dwarf, right?

[7:18] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:19] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:20] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:21] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:22] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:23] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:24] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:25] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:26] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:27] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:31] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:32] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:33] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:34] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:35] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:36] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:37] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:38] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:39] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[7:40] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[7:41] R. Alex Murray: So, this is your story, right? I'm like, not so fast. What would you want your goodberry to look like? Like, assuming you could reflavor it as, like, not a tiny little berry.

[7:47] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, that's a good question.

[7:48] R. Alex Murray: Oh, man.

[7:49] Diego F. Salinas: Like, one handheld . . .

[7:50] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[7:51] Diego F. Salinas: It's too easy.

[7:52] R. Alex Murray: It's like a cheeseburger.

[7:53] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, my gosh.

[7:54] R. Alex Murray: If I can eat one cheeseburger a day and sustain myself, I would probably be the happiest person who's ever lived.

[7:56] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, nice.

[7:58] R. Alex Murray: Yeah. That's just weird burger.

[8:00] Diego F. Salinas: I'm . . . I just . . . I have just specked myself up into Kel from Kenan and Kel.

[8:04] R. Alex Murray: Is it just, like, sliders, maybe?

[8:06] Diego F. Salinas: Welcome to . . .

[8:07] R. Alex Murray: Yeah. Welcome to the woods. Would you like a . . .

[8:10] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[8:11] R. Alex Murray: Would you like a good burger?

[8:12] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yes, dude. Nobody's brought Kel Mitchell, have they?

[8:15] R. Alex Murray: Clearly.

[8:16] Diego F. Salinas: Druid. Burger Druid. Kel Mitchell.

[8:19] R. Alex Murray: That's Burger Druid.

[8:20] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[8:21] R. Alex Murray: Amazing.

[8:22] Diego F. Salinas: Hell, yeah.

[8:25] R. Alex Murray: I want to have . . . Canonically, we've got to get everybody, the whole cast.

[8:27] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, we've got to . . .

[8:28] R. Alex Murray: This is so funny. We've got to stat ourselves up.

[8:30] Diego F. Salinas: This is the new, like, opener question for, like, the entire . . . for everyone else on.

[8:33] R. Alex Murray: Oh, absolutely. What are you?

[8:35] Diego F. Salinas: Well, and then, I've done a thing before where we've played them. Like, you statted yourself up as, like, a level four, just you.

[8:40] R. Alex Murray: Way fun.

[8:41] Diego F. Salinas: It's so much fun because there's no RP.

[8:43] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[8:44] Diego F. Salinas: It's just like, all right, Jasmine . . .

[8:45] R. Alex Murray: It's me.

[8:46] Diego F. Salinas: . . . and Stomp and Diego are trying to break into Xanathar's house.

[8:49] R. Alex Murray: Good luck.

[8:51] Diego F. Salinas: Ding dong. Hello. What's up?

[8:53] R. Alex Murray: Oh, shit. The tiefling is drunk again.

[8:57] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. How are you? Want some tequila?

[9:00] R. Alex Murray: Just all of this butting up against my actual life would be a little bit of a mind fuck.

[9:04] Jasmine Malave: Sure.

[9:05] R. Alex Murray: We're already playing ourselves, playing ourselves.

[9:07] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[9:08] R. Alex Murray: Playing a game.

[9:09] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, dude.

[9:10] R. Alex Murray: Yeah.

[9:11] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, dude.

[9:12] R. Alex Murray: The layers, the meta layers in this show that you have to, like, jump through to, like, keep yourself sane.

[9:14] Diego F. Salinas: It's insane.

[9:15] R. Alex Murray: Spin the top, dude.

[9:16] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[9:17] R. Alex Murray: Look at the top.

[9:19] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, where am I? Am I still on stage right now?

[9:22] R. Alex Murray: You've gotten Isekai on the . . . Twice!

[9:24] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[9:25] R. Alex Murray: Twice now. We have a thing on the Chaos Chart called Isekai, and it means that actual human Diego F. Salinas switches places with whatever character I'm playing in the fantasy world and vice versa.

[9:31] Diego F. Salinas: I think you've got to do it for 30 seconds, for 30 seconds.

[9:41] R. Alex Murray: Yeah. You only get 30 seconds, and I think the way to do it is that, like, not try to do both of them at the same time.

[9:48] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[9:49] R. Alex Murray: You've got to pick one. You've got to, like, pop in, and then, like, Diego's comes into the world, if it were me, when I get it. It's going to be Alex is there, and he's going to look at the other two and be like, here's the deal, guys. This is what we've got to do. Ready? Okay.

[10:00] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[10:01] R. Alex Murray: And then after 30 seconds goes by, Chester or whoever's going to pop back and be like, oh, god! I misunderstood the assignment. I was going to do, like, and we pop in, Jasmine screams, where the hell am I? Why am I in a cavern? Who are you people? Oh, god, it's cold.

[10:12] Jasmine Malave: Like, just do that for 30 seconds.

[10:13] Diego F. Salinas: That's so funny.

[10:14] R. Alex Murray: I mean, that's honestly, yeah. Sure.

[10:15] Diego F. Salinas: That's what I thought.

[10:20] R. Alex Murray: It's going to be horrifying.

[10:21] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[10:22] R. Alex Murray: You're good, Connor. You can come in. Wave to the camera. Say hi to everybody on the podcast. We had a nice sign-up and everything. Connor Marks is here.

[10:26] Connor Marx: Hey!

[10:29] R. Alex Murray: Get in there.

[10:30] Connor Marx: I will.

[10:31] R. Alex Murray: Connor, because you walked in, I'm bringing you into the uniting sector of the podcast.

[10:35] Connor Marx: Oh, yeah. It's happening now.

[10:36] R. Alex Murray: You have to answer the question. What species and class would you, Connor Marks, be?

[10:40] Connor Marx: Species homebrew. You want tea, but no arms, no legs. Just a little snake.

[10:44] Diego F. Salinas: Are you playing that character right now?

[10:47] Connor Marx: Yeah, I am.

[10:48] R. Alex Murray: What is it called?

[10:50] Connor Marx: The character?

[10:51] R. Alex Murray: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[10:52] Connor Marx: Honeysuckle.

[10:53] R. Alex Murray: Honeysuckle. What class?

[10:54] Connor Marx: A warlock.

[10:55] R. Alex Murray: Oh, nice. But we might, I might be thinking about respec-ing.

[11:00] Connor Marx: We discovered that he's excellent at professional wrestling.

[11:05] Diego F. Salinas: So I might move into-

[11:06] Connor Marx: He's very small.

[11:07] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:08] Connor Marx: He is a champion.

[11:09] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:10] R. Alex Murray: I would love nothing more than to watch a snake give another man the chair.

[11:15] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[11:16] Connor Marx: I mean, we're talking like top six inches long gardens, like real little boys.

[11:20] Diego F. Salinas: Jake the actual snake, Robert.

[11:22] R. Alex Murray: Hey, very nice call.

[11:24] Connor Marx: Thank you.

[11:25] R. Alex Murray: That's rad. That's very, hold on. Okay, one last question, and then I'll let you go about your business. I'm so sorry for interrupting your podcast.

[11:30] Connor Marx: You didn't interrupt.

[11:31] R. Alex Murray: You're on the podcast now.

[11:32] Connor Marx: Shut up, you.

[11:33] R. Alex Murray: You're part of, but this is all, there are no rules. We're making all this up. Who's watching right now?

[11:38] Connor Marx: Someone later.

[11:39] R. Alex Murray: Oh, later. Okay.

[11:41] Connor Marx: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:42] R. Alex Murray: So we could tell them the future.

[11:43] Connor Marx: Yeah.

[11:44] R. Alex Murray: We can tell them the past.

[11:45] Connor Marx: We are uniquely positioned to tell them the past.

[11:47] R. Alex Murray: That's hell. Buy this stuff right now. Listen up, everybody. Buy this stuff last week. Write this down.

[11:51] Connor Marx: That's how winning lottery tickets are.

[11:53] R. Alex Murray: That's how recordings work.

[11:54] Connor Marx: No, I think you guys are simplifying. I think we're onto something here.

[11:56] R. Alex Murray: It's like when someone asks you, do you want to see a picture of me when I was younger? I was like, they're all of you when you were younger. I want to see a picture of you when you were older.

[12:00] Connor Marx: Oh.

[12:01] R. Alex Murray: Oh.

[12:02] Connor Marx: Oh.

[12:03] R. Alex Murray: Whoa! Unimpressed by your servitude to time.

[12:18] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[12:19] R. Alex Murray: Fuck that. OK, one last question. You, actually, Konner.

[12:22] Connor Marx: Yes.

[12:23] R. Alex Murray: Would you be a warlock?

[12:25] Connor Marx: No.

[12:26] R. Alex Murray: Aspirationally, or in actuality?

[12:27] Connor Marx: No, what do you think you are?

[12:29] R. Alex Murray: Cabbage vendor.

[12:30] Connor Marx: No.

[12:31] R. Alex Murray: But a great cabbage vendor.

[12:35] Connor Marx: Damn. That dude's got some cabbages.

[12:46] Diego F. Salinas: Who opened my eyes to the conspiracy theory that the Cabbage Vendor is actually a spy for the Fire Kingdom? Which honestly kind of tracks in a lot of ways. An Avatar? Yes. He is everywhere. He's everywhere. How? Why? What is he there for? And he's got like a vendetta against the Avatar.

[13:06] Jasmine Malave: You say it as if it's arbitrary. Like he just woke up and decided to have a vendetta.

[13:11] Diego F. Salinas: Not like his stall is constantly being destroyed by the antics of this fucking toddler.

[13:16] Jasmine Malave: How hard it is to grow cabbages off season too. Like this guy's whole livelihood is getting... Of this fucking toddler. It's an unbelievable description of angst.

[13:25] Diego F. Salinas: So we could give you a secondary thing and you're now also a spy.

[13:29] Jasmine Malave: Okay. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cabbage Vendor with a spy stat block.

[13:32] Diego F. Salinas: Sometimes I think I would be the world's worst spy. And sometimes I think I would be the greatest spy to have ever lived.

[13:40] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Once you figure out how to bumble your way into and out of situations on purpose.

[13:47] Conner Marx: Did you all go through a deception game phase?

[13:54] Diego F. Salinas: Well, like when I was a kid, I liked to just lie to people.

[13:57] Jasmine Malave: Forgive me. I'll be clear. I'll speak with the first... Am I derailing?

[14:01] Diego F. Salinas: No. Okay.

[14:03] Conner Marx: From like 2014 through 18, I was playing, for example, the Battlestar board game, Avalon, Resistance, all of these games that their core mechanic was deception. Our friend group played them almost exclusively. We got very good at it in a way that the game never stopped being played. And we were always kind of inquiring to what extent someone was telling us the truth in any given moment. And then I think I just hit my limit. And now the thought of playing even around where you are the werewolf or where you are the spy makes me nearly vomit with anxiety. I'm terrible at even like werewolf or secret Hitler is another really good one, which is just werewolf, but you get to say Hitler a lot. That bleeding into my everyday life sounds like my actual nightmare.

I don't like playing Among Us. It stresses me out. I just want to be doing my tasks and suss out whether my friends are lying to me. That's the fun part. If I have to do the lying and the killing, my heart rate goes insane. It's really bad.

[15:06] Jasmine Malave: Well, yeah, because who do you pick and why?

[15:09] Conner Marx: I don't want to do it. I don't want to lie to my friends. I don't want to do it.

[15:13] Diego F. Salinas: I want to teleport you back to the Salem witch trials and just see how you do.

[15:17] Jasmine Malave: You guys, no. I could just do math. I'm not a witch.

[15:21] Conner Marx: I saw everybody talking to the devil. Let's wait. Please do not. I don't want to be here.

[15:29] Diego F. Salinas: I hate this. I'm going to Boston. You guys are dicks.

[15:35] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. All right. Well, we're going to jump into our silly game now. Thank you for joining us, Connor.

[15:39] Conner Marx: Unsolicited offer you one farewell anecdote.

[15:43] Jasmine Malave: Yes.

[15:43] Conner Marx: I was a freshman in college. It was maybe a month into the experience. So my eyes were as wide as they get. My tail is bushy as it could be. And this was one of the first moments where I found myself organically enveloped into it wasn't a subversive hang in an explicit way, but in the sense that when you are that age.

[16:04] Diego F. Salinas: No, no, no. Just like any anything that.

[16:10] Conner Marx: So it was just a group of people. It goes on the Internet. Look at it. It's a subversive hang.

[16:13] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. I think I hit that move.

[16:21] Conner Marx: Wait. All right. We were in a subversive hang. Yeah. So like a group had just organically formed as it happens in college when you're all living together and of the same age and interests. And we ended up wandering. There was a farm across from campus. And so we ended up wandering over into the farm. It was maybe midnight or something. We all sort of sat around. I'm going to color it as on a pumpkin patch, though. Sure. Probably was not actually a pumpkin patch, but we were just in the middle of some sort of agrarian zone. Standard horror movie settings. And we played a game of Mafia. And I was in a group of people that I was desperate to become friends with. I had eyeballed them as the cool older classmen that I was so eager to ingratiate myself with. And there was one person in particular whose name is Sophie Pickens. What's up, Sophie? Sophie, what's up?

[17:14] Jasmine Malave: Hi, Sophie.

[17:15] Conner Marx: Wherever you are. I think Vermont. I don't know.

[17:18] Jasmine Malave: In a pumpkin patch.

[17:21] Conner Marx: She was sort of riding the line between someone that I just thought was the coolest person in the world and sort of had a crush on and sort of just wanted to be and be friends with. She was just like having come from rural, not rural, but having come from like rather homogenized North Carolina suddenly to being in this liberal arts college. And I was like, you're the coolest fucking person I've ever seen in my entire life. And we were playing a game of Mafia. Because they'd heard of like bands you hadn't heard of before.

[17:48] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like didn't maybe actually have tattoos, but seemed like they would have tattoos.

[17:53] Conner Marx: This person will probably eventually have tattoos.

[17:55] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was baller. Gotta get on the ground floor without tattooed. That way when they are tattooed, you're already in.

[18:01] Conner Marx: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tattoo might be about me or an adventure we had. And I had, it was not the first time she and I had hung out. We had hung out enough to feel like I had a rapport with her. And it was sort of the final round or something of Mafia. And I was in a position of deciding whether it was person A or Sophie. Yeah. And I was like, I really dug so far down. I was like, Sophie, Sophie, like outside of the game, outside of the world of Mafia, in the world where you and I just met a couple weeks ago, and we are developing a friendship, and we are at a critical juncture in the development of said friendship, where we can take two paths, one that leads us towards trust and fraternity, and one that leads towards betrayal and the end of what could have been years of friendship.

[18:48] Jasmine Malave: This poor 18-year-old snake boy. Jesus Christ.

[18:51] Conner Marx: And I was like, outside of this game, just you and me. I feel like you're sharing your DM origin story. Are you in the Mafia? And she looked at me and she was like, Connor, outside of the game, as the people that we are, and in the friends that we are hopefully becoming, I am not the Mafia. And I was like, all right, kill the other dude. The other dude's Mafia. Immediately, she revealed her hand. She was Mafia. And I looked at her heartbroken, just devastated. I was like, what? Why? And she said, Connor, there is no outside the game.

[19:29] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, God. Oh, man. So you're still there, dude. Any minute now, you're going to wake up in a cold sweat and a pumpkin patch. It reminds me of the advice you get in Spy Kids 3 from the grandpa, never fall in love in a game.

[19:40] Conner Marx: Oh, man. Oh, God. Thank you for joining us. That was great.

[19:50] Jasmine Malave: I hope he definitely listens to our podcast. Amazing.

[19:53] Conner Marx: No, I really don't know what's real. It's a simulation.

[19:57] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Man, I want better, like, customizable upgrades if this is a simulation, man.

[20:03] Conner Marx: Yeah, right? I'm trying so hard just to get, what, a t-shirt from Uniqlo? Like, this is too hard, dude.

[20:10] Diego F. Salinas: It's the, like, Discord Nitro of simulations, where it's like, oh, you can upgrade. It's like, what do I get? It's like, you get a little border for your avatar. Great. Thanks so much. I don't get a fucking jetpack or nothing.

[20:21] Jasmine Malave: Hell yeah. All right. So who wants to go first? Who wants to, who would like to build a person first? I'm curious if, like, maybe we kind of go, do you want to go, like, build one out the entire way or kind of, as we're going through, like, the levels of building a character, just go around the one?

[20:41] Diego F. Salinas: So it's like, we're building all three at once.

[20:45] Jasmine Malave: Oh, I like that.

[20:45] Diego F. Salinas: Like they're going to be a party?

[20:49] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I think maybe we just start by, like, going around. Okay. Introducing the character we're doing. Yeah. And then the species and the class.

[20:53] Diego F. Salinas: That's, well, yeah. I mean, I think, yes. Yeah, the idea is for us to, we're considering all angles, right?

[21:02] Jasmine Malave: Exactly, because I want, because I want y'all's input, because I haven't built this thing out 100%.

[21:05] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, absolutely. Well, then let me write down my character name here. Gordon Ramsay.

[21:13] Jasmine Malave: Yes, that's a good one. I think I'm the only person who did a real person. So my character that I brought, I want to do Peter Parker.

[21:19] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, fun. Okay. My first, like, off the cuff is he's a variant human. And I like the idea that he's a warlock, because with great power, there comes great responsibility. His patron is power? The spider?

[21:31] Jasmine Malave: I think, I was thinking, like, a spider deity. Yeah. Like, Wolf is the one that's, like, kind of in the Forgotten Realms.

[21:45] Diego F. Salinas: Okay. I mean, that's cool. It could be also, like, a homebrew thing. But I'm thinking, yeah, like, Peter Parker as, like, a spider warlock. The spider that bit him.

[21:49] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Well, and it's, like, he's so tortured by it all. Yeah. Like, it really works for him, because poor Peter, in every universe they put him in, gets, like, absolutely tooled on, right?

[22:04] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Like, he doesn't get to be a millionaire playboy. He doesn't get to, like, his alter ego is, like, a kid.

[22:10] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. He's as smart as Tony Stark, maybe even smarter, and he still has to work a job delivering pizza.

[22:16] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, right. Yeah. We went to public school. A true millennial hero.

[22:23] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Even in cartoons or whatever, like, when he's in college, he's still, like, working his way through. He's always delivering pizza. But he's always attracting all these babes.

[22:31] Diego F. Salinas: Wow. Yeah. I mean, everyone who knows me knows how I feel about hot red heads that are very confident. So, yeah. I feel you, Pete.

[22:43] Jasmine Malave: What did you bring? What are you thinking, Murray?

[22:45] Diego F. Salinas: Okay. So, I've got Gordon Ramsay, and I really hadn't, I really, I have done this elsewhere with Guy Fieri and Anthony Bourdain, and this is the trifecta that I want to eventually run a campaign with the three of them, go on some sort of idiotic culinary adventure. But I think, Gordon, I think that he is a bard. I think that that's my move there.

[23:02] Jasmine Malave: Gordon Ramsay is a bard?

[23:10] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Well, I mean, what's going to inspire you more than being called a fucking idiot sandwich, right? His whole deal is, like, getting other people to do stuff. So, you're thinking more, like, the kitchen nightmares, Gordon Ramsay, rather than, like, the house kitchen Gordon Ramsay.

[23:27] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. I mean, it would be easy to make him be, like, a, I mean, like, a martial fighter class would be easy. Or you could throw a monk in there, right? Because of, like, skills. He's all, he's, like, he's pretty decorated.

[23:32] Diego F. Salinas: Because I was just thinking that, what, the other guy, that's the, that's the bard. You're...

[23:43] Jasmine Malave: Fieri? No.

[23:43] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, Anthony Bourdain. Anthony Bourdain, the gonzo guy is the bard.

[23:47] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, that's true. I mean, he's absolutely got bard vibes.

[23:49] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, he's a poet. I mean, the way he writes or wrote.

[23:52] Jasmine Malave: For sure. R.I.P.

[23:53] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, it's all good.

[23:58] Jasmine Malave: That's, like, a while ago. It's not...

[24:00] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, I got reason. It's so sad.

[24:02] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, it does suck.

[24:02] Diego F. Salinas: I want more parts unknown.

[24:04] Jasmine Malave: I know, right? There are so many parts I don't know yet.

[24:07] Diego F. Salinas: I know.

[24:08] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, no, that's, I can get behind that, that, like, he would be more of a bard. And then, so, I, then I, then I started to think monk. Like, because I think he's dex-based. I think a chef, chef is going to be, like...

[24:19] Diego F. Salinas: Dex and wisdom makes sense for him.

[24:20] Jasmine Malave: Dex and wisdom, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like, like, yeah, wisdom especially, right? Because, like, what is coming up through, like, a kitchen, other than, like, being trained by many, many shifus, right? Like, there's a whole lot of, like, apprentice, a whole lot of times when you have to put on a shitty white uniform and then listen to somebody, like, just be like, no, cut it again.

[24:41] Diego F. Salinas: Oh my god, a chef's coat is a key!

[24:43] Jasmine Malave: No, cut it again. Yeah.

[24:45] Diego F. Salinas: Wrong. Your omelet is garbage. Do it again.

[24:48] Jasmine Malave: This walk-in freezer is my dojo.

[24:52] Diego F. Salinas: Get the fuck off my expo, chef!

[24:55] Jasmine Malave: The punching the tree a million times is just sitting there, like, slicing the veg.

[24:59] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[25:00] Jasmine Malave: Shelling the peas.

[25:01] Diego F. Salinas: There is, what is it, it's like, zen is not slicing potatoes and thinking about nothing. Zen is slicing the potatoes.

[25:07] Jasmine Malave: And only thinking about slicing the potatoes.

[25:11] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[25:11] Jasmine Malave: Oh god, it's so much. I love chopping, do you guys, I love chopping vegetables up. I love food prep. Oh god, I love it so much.

[25:17] Diego F. Salinas: Really?

[25:21] Jasmine Malave: I like cooking, but I'm not, like, a cook.

[25:24] Diego F. Salinas: That's fair. I mean, like, I would do, like, my service industry, I was always front of house, but I like to help in the back because I love to food prep, especially, like,

[25:32] Diego F. Salinas: Just get ripped and just be like, yeah, man, bring all the potatoes, dude. I will become one with the spuds and like a peeler. That's why you're a druid. Yeah, absolutely. Just let it go, man. These spuds too shall be peeled, right? Like, I'll get to the end of them. No problem, man. Love it. They need peeling and I'm here and I've got a peeler. Let's go. All right. So we got Peter Parker Warlock. We got Gordon Ramsay, the Bard. Yeah. And then wait, you got Variant Human. I'm going to say Gordon Ramsay, Elf. All right. I think he's very proud of his hair in a way that only an elf could be. Yep. Good point. Yeah. OK, so I was thinking sci-fi because I love sci-fi. OK. And I wanted to pick something that would be at least relatable enough to a lot of folks.

Like I'm doing another Deep Space Nine watch, but none of those is going to be like mainstream enough. So I decided to go with instead an icon played by one of my favorite people on the planet, Sigourney Weaver. We're doing Ellen Ripley.

[26:34] Jasmine Malave: Oh, great choice. That's amazing. Ellen Ripley. Also, this trio would absolutely weirdly fuck shit up.

[26:40] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, they would. Obviously, obviously she's a Goliath. She's so tall. And I just love like the little perk you get. That's the hill giant one. I think that it suits her really well. And I think that it's clearly got to be a ranger. This is a wisdom-based woman. Survival is a wisdom skill. She's the only one that survives.

[27:04] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She gets a familiar. It's the cat.

[27:09] Diego F. Salinas: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. She gets the cat. It's the beast. Yeah. That's really good. She's also got a favorite enemy for sure. And a favorite terrain.

[27:14] Jasmine Malave: Correct. Which is Space Station, I guess.

[27:18] Diego F. Salinas: And what is that ship other than a dungeon crawl?

[27:21] Jasmine Malave: Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Especially Alien 1.

[27:28] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Specifically Ellen in Alien 1. Alien.

[27:34] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Oh, my God. That's cool. That's a great answer. That's so spot on. I'm so excited about that.

[27:40] Diego F. Salinas: Also, like, yeah. Well, so I think we're going to give her vehicle proficiency as well, too. Right. Because of the loader.

[27:44] Jasmine Malave: Right. Yeah. That's what I was like. So she's got that. I think it's wisdom-based. I think that makes sense for her. I think Dex makes sense for her.

[27:48] Diego F. Salinas: That's great. OK. And then doing some sort of a variant where like functionally her animal companion is like a wolf. But it's like a bobcat instead. Like reskin for a bobcat or something.

[27:57] Jasmine Malave: Oh, I love that. Yeah. Oh, my God. Just like it's the cat.

[28:03] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Bobcat. It's Jones. I also love that. OK, what's the favorite what what is the favorite enemy turn into in like the Forgotten Realms? It's not alien because it's got to be an aberration. It's got to be something.

[28:14] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Something from outside of the monstrosity. No, no, no, no, no, no. Something beyond like what's our plane of like.

[28:18] Diego F. Salinas: Absolutely. You could say that that facehugger is maybe a little monstrosity guy, like bug wise first and then.

[28:26] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. But then they become like an aberration. I think it's something from because of the whole the whole gist of monster in the closet movies is unknown.

[28:31] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Like that's what we're scared of.

[28:38] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Oh, that's so good. OK, that's a cool party. So we got we got a ranger. We got a warlock and we got a ranger.

[28:44] Diego F. Salinas: I mean, that's pretty good. I like it. Wait. No, we've got a warlock, a monk and a ranger.

[28:50] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, no, no. I'm back to you guys. Talk to me and do it. I really love the idea that he's just a knife monk.

[28:54] Diego F. Salinas: That's still a good party on D&D Beyond that. It's asking me to pick is my warlock skill proficiency I can pick between arcana, deception, history, intimidation, investigation, nature and religion.

[29:04] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, I'm leaning towards arcana and investigation because I feel like Peter Parker.

[29:08] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. All day. Yeah, he's a fucking photographer. He's taking photographs for the paper.

[29:13] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, for the paper. Yeah, exactly. He's taken. Give me that photographer. I'm taking it.

[29:19] Diego F. Salinas: And I also get an eldritch invocation, armor of shadows, eldritch mind, pact of the blade, pact of the chain, pact of the tome. All right. Remember what all these do.

[29:28] Jasmine Malave: All right. Which major yourself? I mean, major armor on yourself. Is there a rich mind? Because you get advantage on constitution saving throws. Also, that's spidey sense.

[29:39] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that makes sense. He doesn't use a blade. He needs a danger sense from somewhere.

[29:43] Jasmine Malave: Was fighting like a feat for that.

[29:49] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm going to do eldritch mind so that he has advantage on con saves so he can maintain his spells.

[29:54] Jasmine Malave: Oh, what level are we saying? Just three or?

[29:58] Diego F. Salinas: I don't know. I'm already at level one right now.

[30:04] Jasmine Malave: One right now because we're building them all on here on D&D Beyond. This is the first time looking at the new rules.

[30:08] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Well, now I kind of want to build your guy all the way out. I kind of want to build him all the way out. Just so that we're not going. So let's sit with him for a second.

[30:13] Jasmine Malave: All right. So what's next? So we've chosen the warlock traits. He's going to be proficient in arcana investigation. Eldritch mind is going to be his eldritch invocation, which gives him advantage on con saves to maintain concentration.

[30:22] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. I mean, that's famously his deal is that like Spider-Man can just you can absolutely pound on him and he just take it. He'll take it. You drop a subway on his ass and he's like, well, now it's asking me for my origin, my background.

[30:38] Jasmine Malave: He got bit by a radioactive spider and orphan.

[30:44] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Yeah. Uncle Ben. Honestly, I feel like it's got to be. It's done. There is no orphan one. But like, wait, did they take urchin off of here? Not allowed.

[31:02] Jasmine Malave: Oh, if you you might not have access to everything.

[31:04] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm poor. Well, what about a folk hero?

[31:11] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I like that. Like, that's great because he is friendly. Neighborhood Spider-Man. Everybody knows him.

[31:15] Diego F. Salinas: That's my favorite thing in God. Which movie is it of his where the guy sees him? He goes, do a flip.

[31:21] Jasmine Malave: All right. And whatever. And OK, next thing to choose is artisans tools. We have a good come on. He's what this has to be is slingers.

[31:31] Diego F. Salinas: You think tinkers tools? He also has there's also an option for weavers. It's like, what if he's just into knitting?

[31:37] Jasmine Malave: What if that's what the ropes are like? He's got weaver tools and like what we're homebrewing because it's not because it's not going to be in the Forgotten Realms.

[31:49] Diego F. Salinas: It's not going to be like he's going to have like he's going to have the web like.

[32:00] Jasmine Malave: Oh, OK. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. But like for swinging on stuff, you're going to have to pump grappling.

[32:04] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. And then grappling hook.

[32:08] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. But he's like just making rope all the time.

[32:10] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Just the idea that he makes rope out of anything.

[32:16] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Like whatever. You ever wonder where all that rope came from?

[32:19] Diego F. Salinas: OK, so then it sounds like we're between tinkers tools and weavers tools.

[32:19] Jasmine Malave: I like weavers. I think we are. Come on. He's a spider. He's a spider man.

[32:25] Diego F. Salinas: Like we're moving more and more towards him like, all right. Also, he's got eight eyes.

[32:30] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. OK, let's see what's next.

[32:36] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Next is asking me for my race, and I think that's going to be easy enough. Variant human.

[32:41] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. I think Peter Peter gets away with that. He is a human for sure. Obviously going to be medium.

[32:47] Diego F. Salinas: And he's going to get proficiency in one skill. OK. Maybe acrobatics. It's got to be. Yeah. Right.

[32:56] Jasmine Malave: Like, come on. Sometimes sometimes you don't want to be too clever.

[32:59] Diego F. Salinas: I'm trying to build this like true to.

[33:04] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Skills and feats that Spider-Man.

[33:10] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. What is acrobatics other than like literally circus work? Exactly.

[33:15] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. Robin and Batman would also be, you know.

[33:18] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. And I can see a lot of superheroes.

[33:22] Jasmine Malave: Right. You're going to be building. I can take the alert feet.

[33:27] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, there it is. Right there. Amazing alert. You can't surprise him.

[33:30] Jasmine Malave: I mean, like, that's that's awesome. That's pretty much on the nose.

[33:34] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Two languages now. Goblin.

[33:39] Jasmine Malave: So we can talk to that mask.

[33:43] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, we can talk to Willem Dafoe.

[33:48] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Conjure Willem Dafoe at first level.

[33:54] Diego F. Salinas: Oh my God, that's funny. And another language.

[33:59] Jasmine Malave: Oh, yeah. You know, there's not a there's not a spider language.

[34:05] Diego F. Salinas: No, we don't have actually spider people. What what's another like iconic villain of his?

[34:10] Jasmine Malave: What about what about what about what? There's the race of insects that like click.

[34:14] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, look at each other. The three cream.

[34:18] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. If he speaks that would be so funny.

[34:22] Diego F. Salinas: There's some like a version of Spider-Man where he can, like, control spiders.

[34:26] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Yeah. I think I mean, that's he's been around for so long. And like Spider-Man's been in like zapped in and out of so many universes.

[34:31] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. If I were DMing, I would give a automatic speak with animals variant for speak with insects.

[34:38] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. I feel like that would be a good equivalent exchange. But just insects.

[34:43] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. You could just be like, yeah, you could just talk to insects.

[34:47] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. I mean, he was bitten by a, you know, a cursed spider sent by Lothric.

[34:54] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Like some stuff's going to come with that.

[34:58] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. It's going to come with that.

[35:02] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. I guess from here, it's just where I want my ability score to go.

[35:06] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. I mean, you got to I mean, strong, strong, right? Sure.

[35:10] Diego F. Salinas: Spider-Man is like he's like, you know, he's not a mutant, but like, I think like strength, he's like as strong as the fucking Hulk, isn't he?

[35:15] Jasmine Malave: Like, he's. Oh, yeah. Canonically, like, portion is strong. Also got to be dummy intelligent.

[35:20] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. So I'm doing I'd say I'd say your big one, your dumb stats, wisdom, Peter Parker.

[35:25] Jasmine Malave: Oh, yeah. He's a kind of an idiot.

[35:30] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Yeah. He is impetuous and rash.

[35:34] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. I think I'll give him plus one to strength, intelligence and constitution.

[35:40] Diego F. Salinas: Nice. Yeah.

[35:41] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. That's it. That's where your build is going to be.

[35:44] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. And then. Yeah. Oh, man, that's great. All right. Well, there you go. Now you can play Spider-Man.

[35:49] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Let me wait. I got to do the standard array. So what do we say we're going to do?

[35:54] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yeah. Strength is going to be. That's 15, I guess.

[35:58] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Use that.

[36:00] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Then dexterity. I like to roll. I don't ever use the standard, especially D&D Beyond. I let it give me nonsense.

[36:06] Jasmine Malave: Constitution will be I'll give him a 10 on that intelligence, thirteen wisdom, eight charisma, twelve.

[36:12] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yeah. That's right. There's one. All right. Peter's ready to go.

[36:17] Jasmine Malave: That's I want to play him. Just this cool, weird. And I'm just going to give him the like basic starting equipment.

[36:24] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Holy shit. There it is. Spider-Man.

[36:27] Jasmine Malave: Oh, my God. Also, what you could do now, what you could do is you could sit down at your table, you could just do this and you can be like, yes, his name is Peter of the Parks. And and he's an urchin. He works for.

[36:34] Diego F. Salinas: Well, and he works for the the Neverwinter Bugle.

[36:39] Jasmine Malave: And like, yeah, it is patter peaker. All the teachers get replaced with these.

[36:43] Diego F. Salinas: And all of a sudden, like two sessions in your DM's like, fuck, Spider-Man.

[36:50] Jasmine Malave: As soon as you cast web.

[36:55] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, my God. We're going to drop this in the.

[36:57] Jasmine Malave: Oh, yeah. We'll put it somewhere.

[36:59] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, for sure. That's so funny. OK, should we do Gordo?

[37:02] Jasmine Malave: Yeah. Gord. I mean, also, I am. This is a hit because I I have sort of already done this because Gordo.

[37:08] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Gordo Ramakin is a playable character who is loosely based, but he's a he's a warrior and he's a fighter class.

[37:17] Jasmine Malave: And I really like this. Him is a monk. It's very fun.

[37:22] Diego F. Salinas: All right. So core monk traits. I need to skill proficiency for him. That's going to be got to be acrobatics, right?

[37:29] Jasmine Malave: No. Is he flippy? Because what else is it? What I want is athletic stealth religion in insight.

[37:36] Diego F. Salinas: I feel like I need to be more athletic. Insight insight because he could just go right to the nose.

[37:40] Jasmine Malave: What? Yeah, he could cause you a fucking dog. He knows exactly what's going right or wrong with your food and your restaurant.

[37:44] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah. Insight. And then we're going to give the acrobatics because you got to be able to move around the kitchen.

[37:48] Jasmine Malave: Yeah, for sure. And then he does also get musical instrument or artisans tools. Well, this is real easy. He can cook. Cooks utensils. Easy martial arts at first level. Yep. Sure. And then. Yep. He's got unarmored defense. Good for him. Sweet. Let's go.

[39:17] Diego F. Salinas: Alright, so we’re gonna start with some character building.

[39:47] Jasmine Malave: Yes! I’m so excited for this.

[40:17] Diego F. Salinas: So, who do we want to start with?

[40:47] Jasmine Malave: Let’s do Sherlock Holmes first.

[41:17] Diego F. Salinas: Sherlock Holmes, great choice.

[41:47] Jasmine Malave: He’s such a classic character.

[41:49] Diego F. Salinas: Right? And he’s got so many skills that would translate well into D&D.

[42:11] Conner Marx: What class do you think he would be?

[42:41] Jasmine Malave: I think he’d definitely be a rogue.

[43:06] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, I can see that. He’s all about stealth and cunning.

[43:33] Conner Marx: And he has that investigative edge, which could also lend itself to being a wizard.

[43:58] Jasmine Malave: True, but I think the rogue fits him better.

[44:24] Diego F. Salinas: What about his race?

[44:52] Jasmine Malave: Hmm, maybe human?

[45:02] Conner Marx: I think human works.

[45:12] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, that’s classic.

[45:40] Jasmine Malave: Alright, so we have Sherlock Holmes as a human rogue.

[46:07] Conner Marx: What about his background?

[46:17] Diego F. Salinas: I’d say investigator.

[46:27] Jasmine Malave: Definitely fits his character.

[46:54] Conner Marx: So, what skills do we want to give him?

[47:04] Diego F. Salinas: He should have investigation, of course.

[47:14] Jasmine Malave: And perception!

[47:41] Conner Marx: Stealth would be good too.

[47:51] Diego F. Salinas: Alright, so we have investigation, perception, and stealth.

[48:01] Jasmine Malave: Perfect!

[48:28] Conner Marx: Who’s next?

[48:57] Diego F. Salinas: Let’s do Ellen Ripley.

[49:26] Jasmine Malave: Yes! I love Ripley.

[49:53] Conner Marx: What class do you think she would be?

[50:08] Diego F. Salinas: I think she’d be a fighter.

[50:30] Jasmine Malave: Agreed! She’s tough and resourceful.

[51:00] Conner Marx: Alright, so we have Ellen Ripley as a fighter.