This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:15] Jesse McAnally: Hello, I'm Jesse McAnally.

[0:17] Alan Seales: And I'm Alan Seales!

[0:20] Jesse McAnally: And welcome to Carrey'd Away, a podcast where we explore the films and television shows starring the one and only James Eugene Carrey.

[0:28] Alan Seales: How are we doing today, my friends?

[0:31] Jesse McAnally: We're we're we're good.

[0:32] Alan Seales: How's the troubles?

[0:34] Jesse McAnally: I'm giving today a solid B minus. It's rainy.

[0:36] Alan Seales: Oh, Liz, what are your troubles?

[0:37] Jesse McAnally: Maybe they're the same as mine. Uh, there's this like sexy vampire lady who like wants to like bite my thigh for some reason.

[0:44] Alan Seales: Similar issues. My two friends in the shower tried to look at my penis. It was really weird.

[0:52] Jesse McAnally: My ice cream truck is in good working order, though, I must say. So you know, trust me.

[1:01] Alan Seales: Yeah, yeah, that's my main mode of transportation. The bit is done, but I also am like, I'm also very concerned that the character who has two personality traits being obscenely horny and driving an ice cream truck, those do not mix.

[1:16] Jesse McAnally: But let's flash back to 1985. The year of the Live Aid concerts were held. The Coca-Cola Company introduced new Coke. Mikhail Gorbachev replaced Constantin Chernenko as Soviet leader, and Jim Carrey was the lead of a wacky sex comedy with a vampire twist called What?

[1:34] Alan Seales: Mark's got to choose.

[1:38] Jesse McAnally: Between his first love.

[1:40] Alan Seales: I'm the owner of the pants you've been trying to get into for the last four years.

[1:43] Jesse McAnally: And his last date.

[1:45] Alan Seales: How would you like to spend eternity with me?

[1:49] Jesse McAnally: In a tasty comedy.

[1:52] Alan Seales: You can sink your teeth into.

[1:54] Jesse McAnally: How was it?

[1:56] Alan Seales: Delicious.

[1:57] Jesse McAnally: Once bitten.

[1:59] Alan Seales: I don't want to be a vampire.

[2:01] Jesse McAnally: Once Bitten is a horror comedy that is released 15 days after Halloween on November 15th, 1985. Um, with a screenplay by Jonathan Roberts, David Hines, and Jeffrey House, and a story by Dimitri Villiard, directed by Howard Storm.

[2:18] Alan Seales: The plot of Once Bitten is a vampire countess needs to drink the blood of a virgin in order to keep her eternal beauty.

[2:25] Jesse McAnally: It seems that all is hopeless until she bumps into Mark Kendall, as played by Jim Carrey. Um, alright, so we got like I I would call this like his first real movie. I mean, Finder's Keepers is a movie, whether we like it or not, but this is his first leading role as a film as a film director.

[2:42] Alan Seales: As a f wait, he's not a director.

[2:43] Jesse McAnally: Not sorry, film actor.

[2:45] Alan Seales: Film actor, yes. I was like, wait a second, what did I miss that I misses?

[2:48] Jesse McAnally: No. And and uh overall, you know, it's um it's 1985-y. It's not Back to the Future, but it is it is the other side of 1985.

[2:59] Alan Seales: Which is chauvinistic, uh uh misogynistic, and uh overtly overtly sexual in a not subtle way?

[3:07] Jesse McAnally: I don't know. It is I don't it just we're in a post Porky's universe.

[3:12] Alan Seales: Yes, yes. I guess by this point we are. Yeah, this film has ideas, like uh for the worst of it, it has ideas, a great cast, like sincerely, I think this is a pretty good cast.

[3:24] Jesse McAnally: And I think some of the directorial choices are very, very smart. Like, there is some visual imagery that is very funny.

[3:32] Alan Seales: It's just it gets bogged down in trying to be something I don't think it needed to be, which is overtly sexual.

[3:39] Jesse McAnally: I mean, the virgin thing is enough, and if you had just kept it at Hocus Pocus levels, I think it would have been perfect. I like the gothic architecture. I like the world that they built for these vampire characters, and I like the idea of, you know, a virgin high school student being the virgin of vampire. Like that is an inspired idea.

[3:56] Alan Seales: The execution is not great. Our lead character's wants and goals are not effective as someone to be sympathetic with. We're supposed to pity this guy that cheats on his girlfriend and expects to be taken back in open arms.

[4:12] Jesse McAnally: Yeah. Yeah, we're actually we're supposed to sympathize with the fact that he just can't get any, no matter how hard he tries and demands it.

[4:20] Alan Seales: Look, Mark. I want to, I really do. But I want it to be special.

[4:35] Jesse McAnally: Shit.

[4:41] Alan Seales: Her consent doesn't matter. Her autonomy as a human being doesn't matter next to his horniness, which we it would be one thing if that was a fatal flaw of the character, but is meant to be represented as a fatal flaw in her, and something she needs to learn to get over, which is where the issue is.

[4:59] Jesse McAnally: It's not the effect that he is that is his goal, it's the fact that that is viewed as a righteous thing to have as his goal.

[5:06] Alan Seales: Right. And and a uh an expectation that by a certain point in your life this particular act of sexual nature must have happened in order to be accepted in your society.

[5:17] Jesse McAnally: But there is a version with a lot of these elements in place that I think could have worked because he is basically taking away his girlfriend's bodily autonomy, saying, I deserve this, I earn this, I want this, and then he is then being basically objectified and being told by this female um with a lot more power and autonomy, saying, I deserve this, I want this, I've earned this toward him, and then there is an opportunity for an arc and to see the error of his ways, but instead it is solved by him getting exactly what he wanted in the first scene of this movie in the last scene of this movie.

[5:53] Alan Seales: In in the uh coffin showroom that is so well lit, uh it doesn't even make sense anymore. That that was that's one of my biggest gripes about this whole thing is like I don't know who the lighting designer was, but if they had one, they were checked out. There was nothing spooky about this movie.

[6:09] Jesse McAnally: I agree, but then there's like I kind of like that, because I love the idea of being in a mall and being in like a changing room and not seeing the vampire in there until she makes herself known. That's a funny idea.

[6:22] Alan Seales: There's a lot of generally funny ideas with vampire iconography, and the idea of they can't see the light, so they light up everything fluorescently bright in their house is very like I that makes sense to my brain.

[6:34] Jesse McAnally: Maybe not having um Confederate flag vampire.

[6:39] Alan Seales: Yeah, I I could see like they were going for the fact that they want they wanted to easily identify where all of the the vampires had come from at what point in time or geography, I guess.

[6:51] Jesse McAnally: But Twilight.

[6:53] Alan Seales: Yeah, yeah. And it's a little bit um I was like, I was like, wait a second, like the the concierge, what's his name?

[7:00] Jesse McAnally: His name is Sebastian.

[7:02] Alan Seales: Sebastian is a black man, and just like you recognize him from anywhere?

[7:06] Jesse McAnally: I did not. Should I?

[7:07] Alan Seales: He is Bart from Blazing Saddles.

[7:10] Jesse McAnally: Levon Little, yeah. We don't need no stinking badges.

[7:13] Alan Seales: Hey, boy! Look what I got here. Hey, where are the white women at?

[7:21] Jesse McAnally: I think he's wonderful in this movie. It is a stereotype. But my god, he plays it with such class and charm. I loved watching him.

[7:29] Alan Seales: It's very like Hollywood Montrose from Mannequin, who I hate because he's a flaming stereotype, and there's nothing nuanced about him, but I kind of love that about him at the same time.

[7:39] Jesse McAnally: Diets are no use. It's those jelly donuts. They call to me in the middle of the night.

[7:44] Alan Seales: Hollywood! Hollywood, come and get me Hollywood!

[7:48] Jesse McAnally: Because there's no attempt to make him a character.

[7:50] Alan Seales: No.

[7:50] Jesse McAnally: His character is I'm gay.

[7:52] Alan Seales: Yes, and it's the same for Sebastian.

[7:54] Jesse McAnally: Very much so, but my god, he is entertaining to watch, and sometimes charm can jump out the screen.

[8:01] Alan Seales: Hey, what's he like?

[8:02] Jesse McAnally: Another crazy we don't need.

[8:04] Alan Seales: Is he cute?

[8:05] Jesse McAnally: Kind of a square, sort of a jock.

[8:07] Alan Seales: Enough! Our new young recruit will be joining us for Halloween. Countess expects you all to take him under your wings and make him feel at home for the first hundred years.

[8:19] Jesse McAnally: You got that? She found a virgin with home free.

[8:25] Alan Seales: I remember when I met the countess. The day she bit me was the sweetest day of my young life.

[8:31] Jesse McAnally: There's an inch of dust under there.

[8:34] Alan Seales: Well, it's Two, it's Two. I think that this film is confused, and I see why it strangely it does have a little bit of a cult following.

[8:43] Jesse McAnally: Like it recently had a very good release by uh Scream Factory, where they polished up all the visuals and made it look polished and beautiful and new. It's an interesting time capsule, I think, more than anything else.

[8:56] Alan Seales: Where tastes were at in the 80s, and I get a lot of critique on my other podcast, Musicals with Cheese, that I don't contextualize things at the time they were written, that I try to view it from a 2020 point of view, which is not fair to the material, and a little bit of a diminishing thing that can be done.

[9:13] Jesse McAnally: So I'm trying not to do this here and be like, it was a sign of the times that was eighties comedies, like the John Hughes had taken over, and we were in the Breakfast Club age where dubious consent and a little bit of playing with racial things that you maybe shouldn't play around with were common.

[9:31] Alan Seales: I mean yes and no. I I take I understand that it was able to be green-lit and produced and made and released and etcetera because of the times that it was all those things happened in.

[9:43] Jesse McAnally: But the fact like some of it looking back, uh should was just wrong. And we know that now, right?

[9:49] Alan Seales: So yes, we need to contextualize it, but it's it's we can still I I will come to your defense and say that it's still good to call out the things that we wouldn't get away with now because now we know they're not cool.

[10:03] Jesse McAnally: It does have gay representation, which if we're counting points, that is one point, but how good is that representation, and then m point that against how many times our funny comic characters say the F slur.

[10:14] Alan Seales: Yeah. Yeah.

[10:15] Jesse McAnally: Jim Carrey was very nervous about this film when it was first coming out, in fact. He was quoted saying, if people go to see this movie, it won't change their lives, but it will change mine.

[10:26] Alan Seales: And he was really brought in because someone saw him on The Duck Factory in Finder's Keepers and said we want that kid to be in a movie, and that was Samuel Goldwyn.

[10:35] Jesse McAnally: Jim Carrey said he wanted me in because he had seen me do my stand-up and he asked me to read for the part, he was really behind me the whole time. He was pretty open to me fiddling about, plus he's a total freak-o.

[10:45] Alan Seales: I feel like this is the first time that Jim Carrey really gets to try out the Jim Carrey shtick where he gets to do the wacky faces. He gets to show how malleable his body can be, especially like he plays his own leg as a guitar and things like that.

[11:00] Jesse McAnally: And there are periods where I'm just like, yeah, he's just doing the thing. He's fucking around in the ladies' department store and just doing goofy things. This is probably the most we've gotten of him since starting this. Maybe since Rubberface, where he got to do a little bit of that, but not much.

[11:15] Alan Seales: And I'll be with you in just a minute.

[11:17] Jesse McAnally: Okay.

[11:20] Alan Seales: What are you doing?

[11:23] Jesse McAnally: Shopping?

[11:24] Alan Seales: Oh, really?

[11:27] Jesse McAnally: No, what?

[11:28] Alan Seales: Oh.

[11:31] Jesse McAnally: Ow!

[11:32] Alan Seales: What?

[11:37] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[11:39] Alan Seales: Shouldn't be so sweet.

[11:41] Jesse McAnally: I I agree with that, and I wonder. I'm just looking at our our list coming up for the next couple episodes. So, like, Peggy Sue Got Married, The Dead Pool, Earth Girls Are Easy.

[11:51] Alan Seales: Uh oh, I can't wait for Earth Girls Are Easy.

[11:54] Jesse McAnally: Um, he was filming Peggy Sue Got Married at the same time as this, um, which is a Francis Ford Coppola film. So he described like a whiplash of like playing like the goofier kind of B character in a more prestige movie than being the lead in a smaller thing is like two different worlds.

[12:10] Alan Seales: Well, so what I was getting at here was that there's we're sort of seeing this progression of a little bit more. I don't know if it's him trying out more shtick in these feature films, or if the directors are are getting more and more comfortable with realizing that in the last bit it worked a little bit, but I'm I'm wondering like by the time we get to So is In Living Color the first time because it's sketch that he's allowed to just like go unleashed.

[12:37] Jesse McAnally: I mean, it wouldn't surprise me that's the first time he's like let off the hook a little bit. I'm sure that everyone in like the collective world knows what he's been up to. You know, like if you've seen him on Carson, you know what he can do.

[12:52] Alan Seales: Kermit be Frank Heroin.

[12:56] Jesse McAnally: Thank you, Ann. It's great to be here. I'd like to sing a song that uh came out of nineteen seventy-nine, which is a big big hit for me. And how do I sing it with me?

[13:21] Alan Seales: This just feels like the first step in his potential. And I don't think he's bad in it. I actually think like he has really good leading man potential.

[13:28] Jesse McAnally: And I think in nine short years, 'cause at this point, we're all building up to that big year, which is 1994, where he's got like the three-hander of Ace and Shure, The Mask and Dumb and Dumber, where his rates go up and he just creates basically an entire studio underneath him with New Line where they're like, Well, you're our guy now.

[13:47] Alan Seales: Right. Yeah, yeah. Uh I I am excited to see the progression. Um but yeah, back to this. Um Once Bitten, like you said, I I don't think he was particularly bad given the script he was given. I think he did the best that he could with what he had available to him in this particular contextualized period of time.

[14:09] Jesse McAnally: Um, but then again, there's everything you don't like in a movie. There's the transphobia. Like that like had my jaw on the floor that that was ever allowed to be in a movie.

[14:18] Alan Seales: Oh yeah, sissy.

[14:19] Jesse McAnally: Objectification of women in a weird way. Everyone aside from the Countess is looked on as not really characters, but you know, pawns move to get to the end of the story.

[14:32] Alan Seales: But that Countess character, I do like her a lot, and I do find her interesting when she's on screen. I just wish there was more of her. I wonder if this inspired Fright Night Part 2, which neither of you have seen, but I've watched and is one of the best horror sequels ever.

[14:47] Alan Seales: But basically, the two characters from the first one, they dealt with Chris Sarandon Vampire, moved on.

[14:53] Jesse McAnally: Then a new female vampire comes in, convinces Charlie to cheat on his girlfriend, and sucks his blood periodically throughout it, and he slowly becomes a vampire until the girlfriend has to save him at the end.

[15:05] Alan Seales: So I think that there's a little bit of a tenuous connection where one might have ripped off the other here.

[15:11] Jesse McAnally: Mayhaps.

[15:12] Alan Seales: Mayhaps.

[15:12] Jesse McAnally: Um now I want to go back and watch Fright Night.

[15:14] Alan Seales: Fright Night's great if you haven't watched Fright Night.

[15:17] Jesse McAnally: It makes a great double feature.

[15:18] Alan Seales: It's one of the rare good horror sequels.

[15:20] Jesse McAnally: I was just looking at Lauren Hutton, who played the Countess.

[15:24] Alan Seales: Yes.

[15:24] Jesse McAnally: She's 79 now, and I think like shortly after this went kind of left the TV and film for a while and went back to modeling.

[15:31] Alan Seales: She modeled well into her 70s?

[15:34] Jesse McAnally: Is that what I was reading?

[15:35] Alan Seales: Let's see.

[15:35] Jesse McAnally: Um yeah, I mean, she was modeling as late as 2016.

[15:40] Alan Seales: She looks incredible.

[15:42] Jesse McAnally: She looks so good.

[15:43] Alan Seales: As an iconic figure, I feel like outside of the Jim Carrey of it all, she is the reason why this film works in any way.

[15:50] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[15:50] Alan Seales: And Cleavon Little.

[15:51] Jesse McAnally: Cleavon Little is great.

[15:52] Alan Seales: Um, but the film was released on 1,095 screens and opened at number one at the US box office, grossing four million dollars in the opening weekend and earning about ten million dollars in the United States on a budget of around two million.

[16:06] Jesse McAnally: So it made a pretty good profit for itself.

[16:08] Alan Seales: I'm looking at the cast list here.

[16:10] Jesse McAnally: Did you realize Megan Mullally is in this?

[16:12] Alan Seales: I did not.

[16:13] Jesse McAnally: As what?

[16:13] Alan Seales: Where was she?

[16:14] Jesse McAnally: Suzette?

[16:15] Alan Seales: Who is Suzette?

[16:16] Jesse McAnally: Uh, random high school girl?

[16:19] Alan Seales: Uh, was she the one that's like, oh my god, what about his haircut?

[16:19] Jesse McAnally: Oh my god.

[16:23] Alan Seales: Uh, oh wait, I found the clip.

[16:25] Jesse McAnally: Well, if anybody asks it, tell them Jack can get it up after the fall.

[16:30] Alan Seales: Hi Robin, hi.

[16:32] Jesse McAnally: Hi, Suzette.

[16:33] Alan Seales: Oh wow, I love your outfits.

[16:35] Jesse McAnally: Let me take your names from the best costume contest.

[16:38] Alan Seales: Sure.

[16:42] Jesse McAnally: Jill.

[16:43] Alan Seales: Sons Jack.

[16:48] Jesse McAnally: And Mark Kendall Vampire.

[16:52] Alan Seales: I'm not wearing a costume.

[16:54] Jesse McAnally: Are we a hundred percent sure that's her?

[16:57] Alan Seales: That's what this YouTube uploader says.

[17:00] Jesse McAnally: Sure, Jan.

[17:01] Alan Seales: We Megan Mullally, come on the show.

[17:04] Jesse McAnally: Let me tell us if that's really you.

[17:06] Alan Seales: You hear that, Megan?

[17:07] Jesse McAnally: And I'll ask you about, um, I don't know, a young Frankenstein or something else.

[17:11] Alan Seales: Let's talk about Will and Grace.

[17:12] Jesse McAnally: But let's compare our opinions to those of the critics when this came out.

[17:15] Alan Seales: Um, let's take a look at the New York Times, James Maslin when he said, what do vampires and teenagers have in common?

[17:25] Jesse McAnally: That all depends on the vampire, of course.

[17:25] Alan Seales: But once bitten attempts to bring together several hundred-year-old femme fatale and a nice clean-cut high school boy, all in the name of virginity.

[17:34] Jesse McAnally: Around the time of Porky's teenage virgins were Hollywood's third class citizens.

[17:39] Alan Seales: But times appear to be changing.

[17:41] Jesse McAnally: Once bitten is about the efforts of an aforementioned gorgeous countess to find herself an innocent young blood supply.

[17:47] Alan Seales: The film is to be believed chased.

[17:49] Jesse McAnally: Eighteen-year-old boys are no longer in short supply.

[17:52] Alan Seales: Um, there was no review there, but that's the New York Times for you.

[17:56] Jesse McAnally: So let's take a look at the Washington Post, uh, Rita Kempley.

[18:00] Alan Seales: Um, once bitten by the vampire, Carrie's transformed, he sleeps in a footlocker, drinks hamburger blood, and mooses his hair back.

[18:06] Jesse McAnally: Ooh, scary.

[18:08] Alan Seales: Hutton, whose mode of range is second only to Ali McGraw's, is hardly an 18-year-old's dream come true.

[18:14] Jesse McAnally: Her big luscious MAGA boombas, um, are affectionately called, are hardly mega boomba like.

[18:22] Alan Seales: The whole thing makes you long for Porky's four.

[18:25] Jesse McAnally: Mega Boombas.

[18:27] Alan Seales: I think it's, I think it meant like something.

[18:31] Jesse McAnally: I don't know what they were going to do.

[18:33] Alan Seales: Original name for Mario Brothers characters.

[18:38] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[18:39] Alan Seales: Okay.

[18:39] Jesse McAnally: Oh Jesus God, those rests!

[18:44] Alan Seales: Has it changed, Yenny?

[18:45] Jesse McAnally: I mean, do you feel more manly or mature?

[18:49] Alan Seales: It was all a big mistake.

[18:50] Jesse McAnally: I was so drunk I don't remember much.

[18:54] Alan Seales: Come on, tell us what happened.

[18:55] Jesse McAnally: Blow by beautiful blow.

[18:58] Alan Seales: Did you undress her slowly?

[18:59] Jesse McAnally: Like, like first bearing her big luscious Magoombas.

[19:03] Alan Seales: Did she have any tattoos or scars or anything?

[19:06] Jesse McAnally: I told you I don't remember.

[19:08] Alan Seales: I'm Megagloomba.

[19:10] Jesse McAnally: Mega Boomba.

[19:11] Alan Seales: We only come in pairs.

[19:15] Jesse McAnally: Mario, those are just titties.

[19:17] Alan Seales: I'm not, it's, oh God.

[19:20] Jesse McAnally: The best part is this is the opening line of this review.

[19:22] Alan Seales: It's full of just like one-liners about how much this chick hates this movie.

[19:26] Jesse McAnally: Lauren Hutton has a space between her fangs as a vapid vampire had once been a sappy sophomoric sex farce in which the supernatural's answer to Mrs. Robinson sucks the blood of virgin boys.

[19:37] Alan Seales: It sounds like this lady has a grudge.

[19:40] Jesse McAnally: She has a grudge against this movie a hundred percent.

[19:42] Alan Seales: The last line is that Porky's line, and then it's a done.

[19:45] Jesse McAnally: The whole thing kind of makes you long for Porky's four.

[19:48] Alan Seales: I, yeah, it's one of those things where it's like there's a lot of good ideas in it.

[19:53] Jesse McAnally: Like it is a cohesively written script.

[19:55] Alan Seales: They set things up, they pay them off, and they give every character a reason to be there.

[19:59] Jesse McAnally: It is a tight screenplay.

[20:01] Alan Seales: I'm not saying it all works for me, but as a structure, in a day and age where films aren't given the care and love to have a cohesive overall narrative flow to them.

[20:12] Jesse McAnally: Take a look at the Flash, take a look at Batman V Superman, the original Justice League, where just stuff happens and then the movie ends.

[20:20] Alan Seales: This feels very rewarding for me to see something like this because when is the last time you saw that?

[20:25] Jesse McAnally: Like, and that's part of what made comedy films, the mid-budget comedy films, unsustainable.

[20:30] Alan Seales: And the reason why Jim Carrey really can't have a second comeback outside of like Sonic the Hedgehog, because the comedies that he created and thrived in and made millions and millions of dollars doing don't exist anymore.

[20:42] Jesse McAnally: No.

[20:43] Alan Seales: No, you're right, actually.

[20:44] Jesse McAnally: And it's, that's because that's one of those things that, uh, people like Reese Witherspoon with her production company are trying to bring back is the low budget, uh, not the ultra low budget, but like the two to four million dollar film, not the seventy million dollar film and not the ultra low budget film.

[21:03] Alan Seales: Like we're missing that nice rom-com budget film these days.

[21:07] Jesse McAnally: Where everyone was comfortable and ate well and they made a sense I want a Nancy Myers film.

[21:12] Alan Seales: Give me another Nancy Myers film, please.

[21:15] Jesse McAnally: Um, not to be a downer of those state of affairs, but like I, people keep like when's Jim Carrey's comeback.

[21:22] Alan Seales: It won't, because I know he won't do streaming.

[21:24] Jesse McAnally: He won't play in that game.

[21:26] Alan Seales: He will do a thousand weird things before even touching foot on a Netflix film.

[21:31] Jesse McAnally: It would be nice if we had a second revival of the Hollywood brats from the 70s.

[21:35] Alan Seales: Um, but you know what?

[21:37] Jesse McAnally: That won't ever happen because we gotta look at the real critics on letterbox.com.

[21:41] Alan Seales: It's time for a game of one-star, five-star.

[21:43] Jesse McAnally: Liz, what have we got today?

[21:44] Alan Seales: We got the horkiness back.

[21:46] Jesse McAnally: Give us the horny.

[21:47] Alan Seales: The people are horny.

[21:50] Jesse McAnally: The people want what they want, Liz.

[21:52] Alan Seales: The people are horny now.

[21:53] Jesse McAnally: But anyway, letterbox.

[21:55] Alan Seales: Who wants to go first?

[21:56] Jesse McAnally: Alan can go first because his name starts with an A.

[21:59] Alan Seales: Oh yeah.

[22:00] Alan Seales: Alright.

[22:01] Alan Seales: First.

[22:01] Jesse McAnally: Quick, babe, let's box so I don't become a vampire.

[22:05] Alan Seales: Uh, five.

[22:06] Jesse McAnally: Five star.

[22:07] Alan Seales: That's a one.

[22:08] Jesse McAnally: No!

[22:09] Alan Seales: I'm off to a bad start.

[22:10] Jesse McAnally: Alright.

[22:11] Alan Seales: Well, now I can be off to a bad star later.

[22:13] Jesse McAnally: Alright, Jess, are you ready?

[22:14] Jesse McAnally: I'm always ready for letterboxed.

[22:16] Alan Seales: We have a DVD of this in our garage for some reason, and I don't really know why.

[22:22] Jesse McAnally: That is a five-star.

[22:23] Alan Seales: That's a one.

[22:24] Jesse McAnally: Damn.

[22:25] Alan Seales: But now we're both so a bad start, Alan.

[22:28] Jesse McAnally: No one's on the board.

[22:28] Alan Seales: There's one, no one's on the board.

[22:30] Jesse McAnally: Gay people.

[22:32] Alan Seales: Oh God.

[22:32] Jesse McAnally: So you just did two one stars in a row.

[22:35] Alan Seales: So I'm gonna have to go with five star on this one.

[22:37] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[22:38] Alan Seales: Why would you one star gay people?

[22:41] Jesse McAnally: Exactly.

[22:42] Alan Seales: Well, when they don't, when they don't, the writers of the reviews don't write enough to give context, usually that means they don't like it.

[22:51] Jesse McAnally: Surprisingly enough, Once Bitten has a very large queer following on Letterboxd.

[22:56] Alan Seales: That doesn't surprise me too much considering what, uh, the countess wears.

[23:00] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[23:00] Alan Seales: That's true.

[23:01] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[23:01] Alan Seales: I'm surprised there hasn't been a reenactment on Drag Race of the dance scene between her and Jim Carrey.

[23:06] Jesse McAnally: Uh, we just did a Joan Crawford musical, uh, based on Mommy Dearest, so we're getting there.

[23:11] Alan Seales: Christina darling.

[23:13] Jesse McAnally: Oh, you're trying to kill me.

[23:19] Alan Seales: No more hanger.

[23:24] Jesse McAnally: Hang your no no no.

[23:26] Alan Seales: Alright, Alan got a point.

[23:27] Jesse McAnally: Alright, Jess, you have to get on the porch.

[23:29] Alan Seales: Oh my goodness gracious.

[23:30] Jesse McAnally: That sounds like a five to me.

[23:32] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[23:33] Jesse McAnally: I'm on the board.

[23:34] Alan Seales: It's fine.

[23:35] Jesse McAnally: We're all on the boat.

[23:37] Alan Seales: It's a me.

[23:37] Jesse McAnally: Makumbas.

[23:38] Alan Seales: Makumbas.

[23:39] Jesse McAnally: Makumbas.

[23:41] Alan Seales: Okay.

[23:41] Jesse McAnally: It's Alan next.

[23:42] Alan Seales: Yeah, it's Alan.

[23:43] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, yeah.

[23:43] Alan Seales: All for some coochie.

[23:45] Jesse McAnally: Oh God.

[23:47] Alan Seales: Oh, for sure.

[23:48] Jesse McAnally: When we sell t-shirts, is that gonna be one of them?

[23:49] Alan Seales: All for some coochie.

[23:51] Jesse McAnally: Carried away the podcast.

[23:52] Alan Seales: All right.

[23:53] Alan Seales: All for some coochie.

[23:54] Jesse McAnally: Uh, five stars.

[23:55] Alan Seales: Yes.

[23:56] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[23:57] Alan Seales: Alright, Jesse, you read.

[23:58] Jesse McAnally: Yo, on good taste could have been titled All for Some Coochie.

[24:05] Alan Seales: Alright, you ready, Jess?

[24:07] Jesse McAnally: Always ready.

[24:08] Alan Seales: The vampire lady in this movie walks, so Lady Dimitrescu could run.

[24:13] Jesse McAnally: I can't say that because I don't play video games, but it's that lady from Resident Evil game, I think.

[24:17] Alan Seales: Oh, the big booby ghost.

[24:19] Jesse McAnally: Big booby vampire lady for Resident Evil.

[24:21] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[24:22] Jesse McAnally: Um, that is a one-star.

[24:23] Alan Seales: Yes, it's a one star.

[24:27] Jesse McAnally: Alan, are you ready?

[24:28] Alan Seales: I was born ready.

[24:30] Jesse McAnally: I was just horny.

[24:34] Alan Seales: Um, I'm saying it like, oh man, why did I just watch this?

[24:38] Jesse McAnally: I was just horny.

[24:39] Alan Seales: Oh, but I don't like it anymore.

[24:40] Jesse McAnally: I'm a one star.

[24:41] Alan Seales: That's a one-star.

[24:41] Jesse McAnally: One star.

[24:42] Alan Seales: That's a, that's a five.

[24:44] Jesse McAnally: No, no, I think that that review is justifying the five stars by saying I was just horny.

[24:49] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[24:50] Jesse McAnally: That's the theory.

[24:51] Alan Seales: Hindsight's 2020.

[24:53] Jesse McAnally: Alright, I have something inappropriate to say.

[24:56] Alan Seales: Wait, that was the review?

[24:58] Jesse McAnally: That was the review.

[24:59] Alan Seales: That's a five-star.

[25:00] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[25:02] Alan Seales: Anyone that says that in response to like a rating is, that's a five-star.

[25:07] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[25:08] Alan Seales: Are you ready, Alan?

[25:10] Alan Seales: Yes.

[25:10] Jesse McAnally: When he keeps telling everyone, I'm not wearing a costume.

[25:10] Alan Seales: I felt that.

[25:10] Jesse McAnally: Five star.

[25:10] Alan Seales: I felt that.

[25:10] Jesse McAnally: Yes, that is this.

[25:10] Alan Seales: I'm not wearing a costume.

[25:22] Jesse McAnally: No, we're going to my story.

[25:26] Alan Seales: I know last episode we were talking hardcore about Jim Carrey's stories.

[25:29] Jesse McAnally: And the episode before that, and the episode before that.

[25:31] Alan Seales: Yeah, all of them.

[25:31] Jesse McAnally: My goodness, his stories.

[25:33] Alan Seales: I maybe it's just something I didn't notice or pick up on when I was younger, but now it's just so intense how Canadian he is.

[25:39] Jesse McAnally: Oh yeah, yeah.

[25:40] Alan Seales: Oh yeah.

[25:40] Jesse McAnally: And he's apologizing to his girlfriend immensely in this film.

[25:44] Alan Seales: I'm sorry.

[25:46] Jesse McAnally: I was just drunk and horny.

[25:48] Alan Seales: Horny.

[25:48] Jesse McAnally: I'm sorry.

[25:50] Alan Seales: I was just horny.

[25:52] Jesse McAnally: I did find one review that said like, why did he have to suck his dick to get blood?

[25:57] Alan Seales: And I was just like, did you watch the movie?

[25:59] Jesse McAnally: He like bit or bit his inner thigh.

[26:02] Alan Seales: There was a- There's implied a blow job at the beginning, but like where he's like, I felt like a juice box and I just sucked I was a juice box.

[26:10] Jesse McAnally: It's like a straw that I get.

[26:11] Alan Seales: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[26:12] Jesse McAnally: Straws.

[26:14] Alan Seales: That was something else too.

[26:15] Jesse McAnally: Basically got date raped, and he was like, cool.

[26:17] Alan Seales: Yeah, show me about it.

[26:18] Jesse McAnally: 100% about it.

[26:19] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[26:19] Jesse McAnally: Trigger one.

[26:20] Alan Seales: I was drunk.

[26:20] Jesse McAnally: It's not my fault.

[26:21] Alan Seales: Um, the butler came and told me, uh, made me orange juice.

[26:25] Jesse McAnally: Yes, yeah.

[26:25] Alan Seales: Sorry, girlfriend.

[26:26] Jesse McAnally: I was drunk.

[26:27] Alan Seales: That explains it all.

[26:28] Jesse McAnally: Totally.

[26:28] Alan Seales: Well, you can go party with some random harlot and our massive bajumbas or Goombas.

[26:35] Jesse McAnally: With Google.

[26:36] Alan Seales: Alright, there's two.

[26:37] Jesse McAnally: We have two left and you're tied.

[26:39] Alan Seales: Alright, alright.

[26:40] Jesse McAnally: Before it's time.

[26:43] Alan Seales: Five stars.

[26:44] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[26:45] Alan Seales: Alright, Jess.

[26:46] Jesse McAnally: You can tie it up.

[26:48] Alan Seales: Come on, screw it up.

[26:49] Jesse McAnally: Joke.

[26:50] Alan Seales: Joke.

[26:50] Jesse McAnally: Joke.

[26:51] Alan Seales: Alright, ready?

[26:52] Jesse McAnally: I'm ready.

[26:52] Alan Seales: I love it.

[26:53] Jesse McAnally: That's a one-star.

[26:54] Alan Seales: You won't put it in there if we're in a one-star.

[26:57] Jesse McAnally: I know this game.

[27:00] Alan Seales: I played this game.

[27:00] Alan Seales: Yep.

[27:01] Jesse McAnally: You got me.

[27:01] Jesse McAnally: Yep.

[27:02] Alan Seales: Like, that's not fair.

[27:04] Jesse McAnally: I know how this game goes.

[27:05] Alan Seales: We're on to you, Liz.

[27:07] Jesse McAnally: I'm going full Brennan Lee Mulgan here.

[27:09] Alan Seales: I think I'm right.

[27:10] Jesse McAnally: Envision a world where we seize our destiny for ourselves and get in the comments.

[27:10] Alan Seales: Get in the comments.

[27:18] Jesse McAnally: And we are tied, which means we are too evenly matched.

[27:21] Alan Seales: I have no idea what the game the rankings of this are.

[27:24] Jesse McAnally: Um, I could, uh, I could make that ranking.

[27:27] Alan Seales: I am telling you considering Alex Brightman the ultimate loser for all time.

[27:31] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[27:31] Alan Seales: Alright, so let's keep a running episodic tally of wieners.

[27:35] Jesse McAnally: Remind me, I'll get that written down somewhere.

[27:38] Alan Seales: Okay.

[27:40] Jesse McAnally: No wieners in this one.

[27:42] Alan Seales: A lot of high hamburger imagery though.

[27:44] Jesse McAnally: No.

[27:45] Alan Seales: No, we didn't see any wieners at all.

[27:47] Jesse McAnally: No wieners.

[27:51] Alan Seales: I will say that opening scene is shockingly well directed.

[27:54] Jesse McAnally: I really like how it ends with like all the cars shaking from being banged and it goes up into a crane shot just revealing how sad and pathetic Jim Carrey looks.

[28:03] Alan Seales: Like, to get to that shot, it makes no damn sense.

[28:06] Jesse McAnally: He just leaves the girl in his car that he drove in.

[28:09] Alan Seales: Right.

[28:09] Jesse McAnally: And, uh, I just love how he's like, oh, come on, please.

[28:12] Alan Seales: She's like, no, please.

[28:13] Jesse McAnally: Oh, okay.

[28:14] Alan Seales: Kissy kissy kissy.

[28:15] Jesse McAnally: Excuse me, can I get some ice cream?

[28:17] Alan Seales: Oh, mood ruined.

[28:18] Jesse McAnally: Mood ruined.

[28:19] Alan Seales: Please.

[28:20] Jesse McAnally: Okay.

[28:21] Alan Seales: Like, this is a good one.

[28:22] Jesse McAnally: Oh, he actually sells ice cream out of his truck too.

[28:24] Alan Seales: We never mentioned that.

[28:24] Jesse McAnally: Yes, yeah, he has an ice cream.

[28:26] Alan Seales: He's a business.

[28:27] Jesse McAnally: He has the two things that I think make a respectable man.

[28:30] Alan Seales: Extremely horny and owns an ice cream truck.

[28:33] Jesse McAnally: Those are two things that go hand in hand.

[28:35] Alan Seales: We also, there's also the sick Once Bitten theme song.

[28:42] Jesse McAnally: You won't be in the pain.

[28:46] Alan Seales: Sing it on the rainbow.

[28:52] Jesse McAnally: That song is so good that they play it like four times.

[28:55] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[28:56] Jesse McAnally: Every time it still hits.

[28:57] Alan Seales: It just reminds me a little bit of the Birdemic theme that keeps repeating like nonstop, and you're just like, well, here we go again.

[29:06] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, who composed it?

[29:07] Alan Seales: If they spent a lot of money on it, they gotta get their money's worth.

[29:10] Jesse McAnally: It was performed by Three Speed, which is a band, uh, written by Billy Steinberg, Tom Kelly, and Three Speed.

[29:16] Alan Seales: Now I wonder if Three Speed has done it.

[29:18] Jesse McAnally: So they've done a lot of like trash horror film score songs, basically.

[29:23] Alan Seales: Okay.

[29:23] Jesse McAnally: Um, Voyage of the Rock Aliens, Savage Streets, and Rad.

[29:27] Alan Seales: And they did a music video, uh, by Three Speed for Once Bitten, that I am now gonna find because I need to know what that was like in my life.

[29:35] Alan Seales: The most 80s music video on the planet.

[29:38] Jesse McAnally: Oh speaking of 80s cheesy effects when Hannah Laura, not Hannah Hutton, Lord and Hutton, when the Countess turns back into an older lady when she doesn't get her virgin.

[29:48] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[29:49] Jesse McAnally: Those effects were top notch for 1985.

[29:53] Alan Seales: It's a few. Back to the Future's got nothing on that.

[29:55] Jesse McAnally: Just as good as um Indiana Jones when the the Nazis face burns.

[30:00] Alan Seales: Oh yeah, yeah.

[30:01] Jesse McAnally: Just as good.

[30:01] Alan Seales: Just as good.

[30:02] Jesse McAnally: I love the money. Their budget obviously went to three speed, not to their effects department.

[30:06] Alan Seales: No.

[30:07] Jesse McAnally: I will say that I'm very happy that the vampires aren't murderized.

[30:12] Alan Seales: Because I I like them. I gen like they aren't trying to kill nobody.

[30:16] Jesse McAnally: They just want to tr join it join our weird little cult.

[30:19] Alan Seales: Do you mean murderized like they're not made out to be murderers or like I'm gonna murderize you?

[30:23] Jesse McAnally: Like the gangster. I think that they're made out not made out to be murderers.

[30:27] Alan Seales: They're not like out to kill or anything.

[30:29] Jesse McAnally: They just want to live.

[30:30] Alan Seales: Yeah, they just don't want to die. And I can relate to that, and it's not like they're playing to murder Jim Carrey.

[30:35] Jesse McAnally: They're playing to transform him and join our little weird little sex cult, and we can all fuck.

[30:41] Alan Seales: Yeah, you get to decorate your coffin with like custom things from your time.

[30:45] Jesse McAnally: You'll have to deal with the racist one, of course.

[30:47] Alan Seales: Right, right.

[30:48] Jesse McAnally: Right?

[30:48] Alan Seales: Yeah, the r the racist one who doesn't seem to care about the other people of color in the room.

[30:53] Jesse McAnally: I fought for my country.

[30:55] Alan Seales: Half.

[31:05] Jesse McAnally: What would Jim Carrey's vampire be?

[31:07] Alan Seales: Ice cream babies kiss.

[31:09] Jesse McAnally: Ice cream pyre.

[31:10] Alan Seales: Ice cream vampire.

[31:11] Jesse McAnally: Ice cream vampire.

[31:11] Alan Seales: Ice cream vampire.

[31:12] Jesse McAnally: Or it's just a freezer. Like it's stars like that.

[31:18] Alan Seales: I mean, in a dream sequence, he does turn into like a little toy bat.

[31:22] Jesse McAnally: It's really like poorly animated.

[31:24] Alan Seales: We did not talk about those wacky ass dream sequences at all.

[31:27] Jesse McAnally: I loved and hated them.

[31:28] Alan Seales: They were terrible and terrible.

[31:30] Jesse McAnally: I like the scene where his dad comes in and he's sleeping in a chest.

[31:35] Alan Seales: And he's like, Your mom says you're looking pale.

[31:39] Jesse McAnally: Oh yeah, me and my girlfriend are having troubles.

[31:41] Alan Seales: That's it.

[31:41] Jesse McAnally: Like you're sleeping in then, no comment on the chest, Dad? Like, no nothing?

[31:44] Alan Seales: Nothing.

[31:46] Jesse McAnally: But it was Honestly, that's uh what dealing with teenagers I bet is like. Alan, you'll know about that pretty soon.

[31:51] Alan Seales: Uh God. If I come in, if I every time my if I come in and my kids are sleeping in a chest, the first thing I'm gonna do is check their reflection.

[31:58] Jesse McAnally: Just just to be safe. Ask how they want their hamburgers cooked first, because that mirror thing takes longer.

[32:04] Alan Seales: Oh true. I did feel nauseous when he drank the hamburger juice. Like I don't get nauseous very easily, but that was like oh was that real hamburger juice?

[32:13] Jesse McAnally: It couldn't have been.

[32:14] Alan Seales: No, no, a hundred percent not.

[32:15] Jesse McAnally: No, no, I knew that. I was just testing you guys.

[32:19] Alan Seales: Yeah, but the the poop in the train spotting toilet wasn't poop, it was chocolate.

[32:24] Jesse McAnally: What?

[32:24] Alan Seales: Apparently it smelled delicious.

[32:27] Jesse McAnally: Um let's not talk about those horrific things. Let's talk about other horrific things. Like Jube and Carries two little friends where if I knew these people in high school, I uh I would beat myself up for spending time with them.

[32:38] Alan Seales: God. They're like biffs back uh back to the future cronies that just are like, yo, what uh let's look through you, man.

[32:47] Jesse McAnally: They are a future red dot in your neighborhood, and you should try to avoid being around them.

[32:54] Alan Seales: I know what you mean, and that's really bad.

[32:58] Jesse McAnally: Hi there. I enjoy surfing, candlelit dinners and Tolstoy. I'm a mature person and uh you're a mature person. So why don't we just skip all the bullshit. Get rid of our inhibitions, and uh do what we really wanna do.

[33:23] Alan Seales: Sounds good to me. Why don't we go to your place? Tie you up on your bed. I'd love to whip you.

[33:29] Jesse McAnally: Um, no, no, no. We can't do it in my bed. Um I sleep with my brother, and he's a and he's a chronic bedwetter. Maybe next time.

[33:39] Alan Seales: Yeah, it's not a good thing. These people are not people you'd want to spend time. They make Jim Carrey look good, and Jim Carrey is a monster in this movie.

[33:46] Jesse McAnally: Oh, oh, oh. Speaking of, I don't know why this reminded me of one of the opening scenes. What was that dating thing they went to? Was that how people met people in the 80s?

[33:56] Alan Seales: That was like restaurant tiny cocktail tables with a phone that has a number on it so you can call somebody else instead of getting up and walking to them?

[34:05] Jesse McAnally: That's kinda that's normal in like cabaret culture. Like it's a specific scene in the cabaret Broadway show where Sally meets clo talks to Cliff through like one of those like cabaret table phones.

[34:17] Alan Seales: So it was common, but not like the the main way teens find love.

[34:21] Jesse McAnally: But they come in, I just didn't know how old they were anyway. I guess did this take place in Canada? Because they come in and LA Los Angeles.

[34:25] Alan Seales: They come in and order beers, but then they're in high school. Guess they don't get carted.

[34:31] Jesse McAnally: They don't get carted, um, because they look like they're in their mid-20s.

[34:35] Alan Seales: Oh, yeah. They were probably in their mid-20s.

[34:37] Jesse McAnally: Totally look like it.

[34:38] Alan Seales: Of course they do. Speaking of A Cups, what do we think about uh Jim Carrey's girlfriend?

[34:43] Jesse McAnally: Um the on again, off again, not really a character, but I'm here for the ride. She did not do again, not did not do a bad job with what she was given.

[34:52] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[34:53] Jesse McAnally: Also, Jim Carrey was 23 at the time of filming. Um driver's license, three, two.

[35:00] Alan Seales: It's all twenty three.

[35:01] Jesse McAnally: Oh, yeah, the number's already three. Karen Co Copins, Coppins?

[35:04] Alan Seales: Coppins, yeah.

[35:05] Jesse McAnally: Karen Coppins, who played Robin Pierce. She's 61 now. She hasn't been in anything since 1994.

[35:12] Alan Seales: Let's talk about the her last uh credited uh f uh film work.

[35:18] Jesse McAnally: That's the Cosby Mysteries.

[35:21] Alan Seales: She was at a TV show where Bill Cosby is a criminologist who works for the New York police department.

[35:26] Jesse McAnally: Oh no.

[35:27] Alan Seales: After winning the lottery, he retires by feeling bored, he occasionally returns to help the police department.

[35:31] Jesse McAnally: Bill Cosby is solving murders, and his the TV show was called The Cosby Mysteries.

[35:37] Alan Seales: Rita Moreno is in this show.

[35:39] Jesse McAnally: Whoa?

[35:40] Alan Seales: James Naughton. Robert Stanton. I mean, I guess I I have nothing. There's nothing to add. I just needed to speak out that this existed and that this lady was a recurring character on it.

[35:51] Jesse McAnally: Speak out, Louise.

[35:53] Alan Seales: Oh my god, the Cosby Mysteries. That means something different nowadays.

[35:57] Jesse McAnally: Yes. Also the poster is horrifying. It's just Bill Cosby staring at you.

[36:01] Alan Seales: Which oof.

[36:05] Jesse McAnally: So I guess um is there anything else we have left to say about this? Like, I mean, there are m moments of greatness. I do love the dance scene.

[36:11] Alan Seales: Yeah, I was gonna say the dance scene. 80s movies needs a dance scene, a choreographed where everyone suddenly knows the dance.

[36:19] Jesse McAnally: Um dance scene. I think that was really well done. And probably one of the pieces that has the most energy.

[36:26] Alan Seales: He hasn't made a movie ever since this movie. Apparently, after the movie came out, he spent all his money that it earned, like very quickly. So he was working at a video rental shop.

[36:37] Jesse McAnally: And apparently, like someone was talking about once bitten and said, like, I hope this guy never works again. And he was behind the counter. It's like, well shit. You got what you wanted.

[36:45] Alan Seales: You know what? That's not entirely fair. He would go on to direct episodes of everyone's favorite TV shows, like Keenan and Kell, Sister Sister, Daddy Dearest, Everybody Loves Raymond, Perfect Strangers, and he got his start with Woody Allen.

[37:01] Jesse McAnally: Not a controversial figure at all.

[37:04] Alan Seales: Oh God. Hollywood's messed up.

[37:06] Jesse McAnally: Hollywood is messed up. And you know what? Jim Carrey, you're to blame. You did this.

[37:10] Alan Seales: Once Bitten did this.

[37:12] Jesse McAnally: Once Bidden caused all these problems.

[37:14] Alan Seales: Totally. Once Bitten is the epicenter of a lot of horrific shit.

[37:20] Jesse McAnally: Also, I'm on the INDB page with this movie, and the first movie it wants me to watch after this is Earth Girls Are Easy. So maybe that'll just be as sexist, misogynist, and uncomfortable to watch.

[37:31] Alan Seales: But on the lighter note, what is our overall thoughts on Once Bitten? And is it a no spank you or an alrighty game?

[37:39] Jesse McAnally: I still haven't decided.

[37:41] Alan Seales: I have. It is a very probably the lightest no spank you I've given so far, but it's still a no spank you.

[37:48] Jesse McAnally: You literally took the words out of my mouth. I'm gonna have to pass on this one.

[37:53] Alan Seales: I'm giving it a very borderline no spank you. Like it's quality, it's definitely not porn, which was a lot of the early stuff, and it does taint a lot of like the tier list ranking of the binary of no spank you and alrighty, then. Like this is not on the same level as all in good taste or even Finder's Keepers, but it's not good either.

[38:14] Jesse McAnally: Yeah. No, it isn't good. Um I wouldn't want to go back and watch it again. I would rather watch the Duck Factory much more.

[38:18] Alan Seales: Much more much more sooner.

[38:23] Jesse McAnally: Much more sooner road. The Duck Factory's up here that you got like five hundred feet of like uh skyscraper, and then you've got this one that he got another like five hundred feet of basement, and then you've got everything else.

[38:37] Alan Seales: Yeah, yeah. Plus one, plus one on that.

[38:40] Jesse McAnally: Liz.

[38:41] Alan Seales: I'm gonna disagree with both of you.

[38:43] Jesse McAnally: Oh, no, no.

[38:44] Alan Seales: I love this movie.

[38:45] Jesse McAnally: I don't.

[38:46] Alan Seales: I don't, just to be clear. I was in my free time. I watch a lot of trashy horror. One of my favorite trashy horror movies is complete garbage, and I love every waking minute of it. It's called Game of Death. It's complete hot garbage, and I love love it to death.

[39:01] Jesse McAnally: I love bad horror. It's like brings me such joy.

[39:06] Alan Seales: And this isn't that good. I wouldn't probably watch it again tomorrow, but a year from now, if I'm looking for something dumb to watch, like a spooky-ish movie, that sure it's misogynistic and gross and like kind of questionable in a lot of ways, but like it's a nice turn your brain off.

[39:24] Jesse McAnally: This is stupid. It's only 90 minutes, like it's not gonna kill me. I can imagine turning this on at like a Halloween party and it just being in the background.

[39:33] Alan Seales: Yeah, you have the option of watching it, but you don't have to.

[39:35] Jesse McAnally: Like, and like it's stupid. Like, it's a stupid movie.

[39:37] Alan Seales: And I don't mind me over, Liz.

[39:41] Jesse McAnally: Well I'm just trying to justify my opinion, and as a late woman, I just need to talk more when I do that because I just yes, it's a habit I've developed because of the internet's existence. Um but yeah, I don't mind this movie. I think Lauren Hudson's good, and I hate the Virginity thing deeply. It's quite I hate it so much. I hate the F slurs, I hate the questionable theming, but I would watch it again like a year from now on a bad movie nine if I was kind of tipsy.

[40:08] Alan Seales: It's a very, very, very light, very light, alrighty. Then like it's like a touch.

[40:14] Jesse McAnally: We're just on opposite sides of the seat of the teeter totter.

[40:17] Alan Seales: Yeah, I'm just very lightly like this movie, but I would not watch it again tomorrow. I'd rather watch something else vampire related.

[40:23] Jesse McAnally: So you know, a quick edit would make this a very watchable movie. Like, you could edit some of the worst things out of this.

[40:30] Alan Seales: You could also like cut the dancing like in half, maybe because it goes.

[40:33] Jesse McAnally: No, I wouldn't touch a frame of that.

[40:35] Alan Seales: Or I'd actually cut the scene where they're going into LA and completely in half because like it's just the once bitten theme and there's no credits. It's just that.

[40:41] Jesse McAnally: Wait, so let me ask you, as a director, what uh vehicle, if you could change if you had to change the vehicle through which Jim Carrey's character was riding around. They chose ice cream person because that seems like I I think they just had an ice cream truck on hand, and that feels like a production like, well, we can make him do this and no one else will have that.

[41:02] Alan Seales: I can already res I can respect that, you know.

[41:05] Jesse McAnally: Like I can respect that. What ver what car would you have your virgin drive in your version?

[41:10] Alan Seales: I would make him ride a bike because I feel like bikes are a more engaging vehicle for people to be riding around in.

[41:16] Jesse McAnally: Well, you can't you need a you need a a way to like try to make out with your girlfriend though.

[41:20] Alan Seales: Well, no, that's the that's the thing where he's like, Well, if I had a car, I'd be able to bang you in the back of it.

[41:27] Jesse McAnally: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't have a vehicle. Like, I feel like that would kind of be an added piece to it, and then that shot where everyone's banging in the car will kind of be like, oh, okay.

[41:37] Alan Seales: I imagine right. Pull back craneshot and he's just sitting there all grumpy, hands folded on his bike.

[41:41] Jesse McAnally: I could see that. Yeah. Like, I feel like that would kind of make that overall story hit better.

[41:46] Alan Seales: Especially when uh Lord and Hutton um comes up in her uh limo and like all the back it's all a back seat.

[41:55] Jesse McAnally: There you go. Alright. You know, there's some visual things to play with there.

[41:59] Alan Seales: How did the Countess become the Countess? Do we have any backstory?

[42:02] Jesse McAnally: I feel like if we got backstory, it'd be less interesting.

[42:05] Alan Seales: Yeah.

[42:05] Jesse McAnally: Maybe she's just outlasted all her her gentlemen or or lady suitors over the hundreds of years she's alive.

[42:12] Alan Seales: There was not many like lady vampires except for those two that like get the horny boys in the quarter.

[42:18] Jesse McAnally: The horny boys. I read that book series.

[42:20] Alan Seales: Yeah, it gets really good after book eight. Um I really like the horny girl spinoff, but honestly, it's too wordy for me.

[42:26] Jesse McAnally: The horny boys, they're always solving sex mysteries.

[42:32] Alan Seales: Now you get the joke.

[42:36] Jesse McAnally: I'm just imagining like the most horrific, like, you know, like I feel a certain way. It's pointing in north. We must follow.

[42:45] Alan Seales: Oh god. Alright, so after we're done, after we're done uh with all the Jim Carrey podcast, we're gonna circle back again. Continue our trio of friendship years from now, doing every book of the Hardy Boys.

[42:52] Jesse McAnally: The Hardy Boys.

[42:58] Alan Seales: No, I have to do the girl. I can't read the Harry Boys, I'm a girl.

[43:00] Jesse McAnally: Nancy Drew.

[43:02] Alan Seales: I drew Nancy Drew, because I'm a girl.

[43:03] Jesse McAnally: There we go. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was marketed that way.

[43:06] Alan Seales: Okay.

[43:07] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[43:07] Alan Seales: Um, let's wrap up this mofo.

[43:10] Jesse McAnally: Alright. Thank you guys for listening to our wonderful episode. Um, please follow us on iTunes Spotify, not Stitcher. Stitcher doesn't exist anymore.

[43:17] Alan Seales: Stitcher lies in the gnomes involved. We're really dating this.

[43:22] Jesse McAnally: Um I wonder how many times I said Stitcher earlier.

[43:25] Alan Seales: Um follow us on Twitter at carried away pod. Instagram carried away pod, and also carried away podcast.

[43:31] Jesse McAnally: Oh, it's Twitter. It's Twex. Our title card was created by Grace Aki. Follow them on Instagram at It's Grace Aki.

[43:36] Alan Seales: This show is produced and edited by Elizabeth Eston. Our theme song is I choose you by the band Thanks. Thank you to the Broadway Podcast Network for having us on the platform and for not kicking us off for talking too much about Brawless A Cups.

[43:49] Jesse McAnally: A Cups. Anything else we have left to say?

[43:53] Alan Seales: I think we said it all.

[43:55] Jesse McAnally: We'll see you next time with all three of us on the Carrey'd Away podcast.