This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:09] Grace Aki: Tell me a story.

[0:22] Grace Aki: Welcome back.

[0:23] Grace Aki: Welcome back.

[0:24] Grace Aki: Welcome back.

[0:27] Grace Aki: I don't know if I did, but I think I just sang the Welcome Back Cotter theme song.

[0:33] Grace Aki: Either way, that's been stuck in my head for a hot minute. How are you guys? How are you doing? How's everyone? I'm great because today, on Tell Me On A Sunday, I have one of my favorite people on the planet.

[0:44] Grace Aki: And I'm not just saying that because she Venmo'd me to say that. I'm saying that because I love her so much. She is one of my dearest friends. I consider her like a sister. And that's saying something because I had a stepsister, and she was a bitch. So I stopped talking to her. I think we're still Facebook friends, but I hope not.

[1:02] Grace Aki: Anyways, this is Cara Zelaya. She is the Daily Kos social media coordinator. She worked for years in New York doing Broadway theater company stuff, show stuff, school stuff, and she was also famous on YouTube for a hot minute, which was before I knew her because I probably would have been so nervous to talk to her.

[1:26] Grace Aki: Um, but she became famous because she read Fifty Shades of Grey on her channel, and it went viral because anything she does is worth watching. I love her so much. I don't even want to talk about her anymore. I just want you to meet her. Here she is, Miss Cara Zelaya.

[1:42] Cara Zelaya: I've talked about you.

[1:44] Grace Aki: With a promo at Daily Kos, Cara. At Daily Kos, Cara. I've already, yes, follow and subscribe. Uh, but Daily Kos, Cara is one of my dearest girlfriends, if not the best of friends.

[1:54] Grace Aki: And we are like Milo and Otis. I don't know why I said that. I hate dogs. Um, I'm just kidding. Uh, but for the most part, they don't like me. And um, we are how would you describe us?

[2:04] Cara Zelaya: Danny DeVito's uh Schwarzenegger and Arnold Schwarzenegger's twins film.

[2:10] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[2:10] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[2:11] Grace Aki: Do people who are listening, tuning in, they may not know how petite you are.

[2:16] Cara Zelaya: People are always shocked when they meet me because they're like, you're a tall lady.

[2:21] Grace Aki: Yeah. And I think it's also because like I have a lot of petite friends, so for scale, it's like wow.

[2:27] Cara Zelaya: For scale, I'm sure that's very detrimental. But I also think that people forget this classic male phrase of she's an Amazon woman. You know when guys just say that I'd be like, oh, she's tall, she's like an Amazon woman. I'm like, is that like is that appropriate? Is it problematic? I don't know.

[2:42] Cara Zelaya: I don't know. I watch Superwoman and Superwoman. Supergirl. Super wild superboy and the invisible. Superwoman, the Chris Pine. You don't know that song.

[2:53] Grace Aki: Okay.

[2:53] Cara Zelaya: Okay.

[2:53] Grace Aki: Anyway, hey, intro. Four people listening to that will go, oh my god, she gets uh. And then the rest of the people are like, um, I'm turning the. Thanks if you thanks for all of you who are still tuned in.

[3:07] Grace Aki: Uh TLDR, Chris and I are BFFs.

[3:10] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[3:11] Grace Aki: And um, we have a very dynamic constraint. Where would we carry each other's children?

[3:15] Cara Zelaya: That's the love.

[3:16] Grace Aki: Oh, 100%.

[3:17] Cara Zelaya: Which you could carry my child much easier than I could carry.

[3:19] Grace Aki: I could carry you in my womb, and I'd be like, this is what I'm doing for you.

[3:23] Cara Zelaya: To be burned. You have such a dominant uterus. Can we tell that story?

[3:27] Grace Aki: Is that where we're starting?

[3:30] Cara Zelaya: Yes. Um, can uh you tell me a story about um well, I'll let Cara explain this, but we call her the Dom Ute.

[3:30] Cara Zelaya: We call her the dominant uterus.

[3:39] Grace Aki: Yes. Please.

[3:41] Cara Zelaya: So evolutionarily, back in the I mean, this is still a thing that happens where um if there are people who have periods, um they by the way, this is not about to get graphic, so it's not nervous. So just you know, some people get periods, and when they are around other people who also get periods, there's usually one person that creates a sink where everyone just kind of gets on the same wavelength.

[4:11] Cara Zelaya: Right. And I have what we've learned to be a dominant uterus and this has been something that's plagued me my whole life.

[4:21] Grace Aki: You're a powerful woman.

[4:22] Cara Zelaya: As your mother said so succinctly one day. Um so basically I'm the person that if like I'm on my period, and I have done this in several this is not like a joke, like this is a literal thing. Other people who get periods around me will start to just get a period.

[4:41] Cara Zelaya: And it's my claim to fame. So I was one of Grace's bridesmaids.

[4:46] Cara Zelaya: And um I got invited to go to her childhood home for her one shower. Right. And it was me and all the bridesmaids, all the girls, and your mom was there.

[4:59] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[5:00] Cara Zelaya: And I was in my moon phase, and it was that time of the moon phase.

[5:07] Cara Zelaya: And you know, she and by she I mean me was going through it.

[5:11] Grace Aki: Mm-hmm.

[5:12] Cara Zelaya: Mm-hmm. And one by one, uh the bridesmaids started dropping like flies, by which I mean dropping into the tissue.

[5:20] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[5:20] Cara Zelaya: And um everyone got their period.

[5:23] Cara Zelaya: Including.

[5:24] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[5:24] Cara Zelaya: So I didn't know that I didn't know that the bridesmaids was happening, and then at some dinner during this week that we were all together, Grace's mother sits next to me.

[5:34] Cara Zelaya: He was by the way, 56 years young at this point.

[5:38] Grace Aki: Yes.

[5:38] Cara Zelaya: Beautiful.

[5:39] Cara Zelaya: Beautiful.

[5:39] Grace Aki: Oh, your mom's stunning.

[5:41] Cara Zelaya: Um I didn't know any of this.

[5:45] Cara Zelaya: I found out after the fact that she thought she was like going through menopause.

[5:50] Cara Zelaya: She hadn't full blown, had not had a period in months.

[5:53] Cara Zelaya: Had not a period in months. Almost a year.

[5:54] Cara Zelaya: And uh she sits next to me and just goes, Kara, you're a very powerful woman.

[6:02] Cara Zelaya: And I'm like, Margaret, thanks. You know, here I am feeling good about myself.

[6:07] Cara Zelaya: And then Grace later is like, yeah, she got her period today.

[6:11] Grace Aki: Because of your Dom U.

[6:13] Cara Zelaya: Because of my Dom U.

[6:15] Cara Zelaya: So if anyone wants to start, um, I don't know, should we start a group of Dominant Uterus?

[6:20] Grace Aki: And then we just come.

[6:21] Cara Zelaya: Well, I think that they have their own political planning. I don't think they have to start that group.

[6:26] Grace Aki: They're running for president.

[6:27] Cara Zelaya: Oh, me and Lizzie and Hillary just sitting around.

[6:32] Cara Zelaya: I mean, I think they're I don't know, I don't know their lives, but I feel like their power has passed, and I'm like the next generation, you know.

[6:39] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, regardless of your feelings about any of those people, by the way, because I have mixed about all of them.

[6:44] Grace Aki: Sure.

[6:44] Cara Zelaya: Um especially.

[6:45] Grace Aki: You can't, you and you have mixed feelings about me, especially.

[6:48] Cara Zelaya: I mean, but no, I think that you can all admit that those women that you just described do have dominant uteruses.

[6:57] Cara Zelaya: For sure, no matter what you think, like agree to disagree.

[6:59] Cara Zelaya: You know, it's funny because my one claim to like the first time I had some kind of internet thing blow up, it was me talking about my period.

[7:06] Cara Zelaya: So it's kind of fitting that my first thing I say on your podcast is a period story.

[7:12] Cara Zelaya: It really is uh my claim to fame.

[7:15] Cara Zelaya: Wow. Somebody's Eve Ensler.

[7:18] Grace Aki: Okay.

[7:19] Cara Zelaya: Okay, what?

[7:21] Cara Zelaya: And then if you did not get that job, you've got a tune out.

[7:27] Grace Aki: I'm not sure this is for you.

[7:29] Cara Zelaya: Who's to say?

[7:30] Cara Zelaya: Um I will be including Spark notes in this episode.

[7:33] Cara Zelaya: Um time I had to call her.

[7:34] Grace Aki: Oof.

[7:35] Cara Zelaya: I'm sorry, no, pause.

[7:37] Grace Aki: Why?

[7:38] Cara Zelaya: So I was I was working at a undisclosed uh theater company.

[7:43] Cara Zelaya: I was interning there actually at the time, and you know, I did women's college for a minute, and so I went to a big state school.

[7:51] Cara Zelaya: Um, and on my list of like really intern duties, they were like duties.

[7:57] Cara Zelaya: Um they were like, Hey, make sure you call this playwright.

[8:01] Cara Zelaya: We like need to schedule a meeting with them.

[8:03] Cara Zelaya: And I was like, Dope.

[8:04] Cara Zelaya: And I look at the phone number and it's Eve Ensler.

[8:07] Cara Zelaya: And I'm like, Yeah.

[8:09] Cara Zelaya: Uh how can they just be like They were so matter of fact about it.

[8:14] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[8:15] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[8:15] Cara Zelaya: Anyway, that's also so yeah, I mean, I'm sure I talked to her assistant.

[8:19] Cara Zelaya: I don't remember anything after that, but yeah.

[8:20] Cara Zelaya: It's funny because I um I have you know, we we all have friends that are interns or whatever working for different theater companies and you know, PR firms and blah blah blah.

[8:30] Cara Zelaya: Had a friend the other day that was like, Man, I was stamping mailers for blank blank blank, and I dead ass had to send a mailer to Joel Gray.

[8:39] Cara Zelaya: And and they were like, you know, I'm just picturing little Joel Gray opening this thing up and being like, I'll come.

[8:46] Cara Zelaya: Like, you know, like it's just funny.

[8:48] Cara Zelaya: Like when you picture things like, um I worked at like a stationary shop, and one time we had to send a wedding invitation to the Mirandas.

[8:55] Grace Aki: Like Lynn's parents.

[8:57] Cara Zelaya: Wow, wow, wow.

[8:57] Grace Aki: Which you worked in the same building at one time, and I just gonna say I have my Miranda stories.

[9:02] Cara Zelaya: Because it's just like, uh man, how lucky we are to be alive right now.

[9:06] Cara Zelaya: Remember when we um saw at the DC trade station.

[9:12] Grace Aki: And I was like, no, I can't.

[9:13] Cara Zelaya: We haven't worked in the same building.

[9:17] Cara Zelaya: And he had a Hamilton button.

[9:18] Grace Aki: Lynn's father is such a carry cute.

[9:20] Cara Zelaya: Anyway.

[9:20] Cara Zelaya: I tweeted, oh, get this.

[9:22] Cara Zelaya: I tweeted at him that day.

[9:24] Cara Zelaya: I tweeted the wrong Luis Miranda, who was also in politics, and then he started following me, and I was like, God bless you, but it wasn't you.

[9:31] Cara Zelaya: I felt so bad.

[9:32] Cara Zelaya: Um, anyways, so that's that.

[9:34] Cara Zelaya: And I think that now we can tell a little story about our friendship.

[9:37] Grace Aki: Okay, Marshall.

[9:38] Grace Aki: We're still like the people deserve.

[9:39] Cara Zelaya: Should we start out the day we met?

[9:41] Cara Zelaya: Do you know that's Damon Damon?

[9:43] Cara Zelaya: You know how we met at the stage door.

[9:47] Grace Aki: Yes, so we'll we'll get that right.

[9:48] Cara Zelaya: Okay, okay, okay.

[9:49] Cara Zelaya: Um, so uh I have this.

[9:52] Cara Zelaya: I went to a really like uptight Roman Catholic prep school in South Florida.

[9:56] Cara Zelaya: Um, and so I because of this, it was kind of a I'm not gonna lie, like a scarring experience.

[10:02] Cara Zelaya: And so my friends from that time in my life are like, I'm they're still my friends.

[10:05] Cara Zelaya: I'm one of those dying breeds of people who's still friends with like her high school friends.

[10:09] Cara Zelaya: And one of those friends is one Joseph Ferrarelli, um, who I love, he's like my brother.

[10:16] Cara Zelaya: And when I moved to New York, he uh shortly after moved to New York as well.

[10:21] Cara Zelaya: And I already had a roommate housing situation, so and I don't ever want to live with y'all.

[10:26] Cara Zelaya: Um, and so he uh was just filling finishing Williamstown and had found these other roommates in this apartment in the Bronx.

[10:35] Cara Zelaya: And I was like, great. And then I kept hearing about these roommates in the apartment in the Bronx.

[10:39] Cara Zelaya: Uh David and Grays, Grace and Damon, Damon Gries, and Nason Damon.

[10:43] Cara Zelaya: And I was like, Great, can't wait to meet them. This and the other. For whatever reason, it didn't like, we didn't meet for a while.

[10:49] Cara Zelaya: And then one day, the day after Halloween, I'll never forget this.

[10:52] Cara Zelaya: Joe calls me. I'm living in Harlem at the time, and he's like, hey, I need you to come get me.

[10:59] Cara Zelaya: And it's like the day after Halloween. And like, it's not like Joe was like reckless or anything.

[11:04] Cara Zelaya: But I was like, he's Oh, okay. Well, I lived with him, so test to a different side of him, but anyway.

[11:10] Cara Zelaya: Uh I know a little baby Joe from high school. Um, but I was like, it's the day after Halloween.

[11:16] Cara Zelaya: He's hung over, he's asking me to come.

[11:18] Cara Zelaya: That's what I genuinely thought.

[11:20] Grace Aki: You thought he was being silly willy.

[11:21] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, and he's like, no, I can't see.

[11:23] Cara Zelaya: I need you to come get me.

[11:25] Grace Aki: And I'm like, Which is not necessarily what are you talking about?

[11:29] Cara Zelaya: And he's like, I'm like, get on an Uber, I'll meet you at like a um like a coffee shop or something.

[11:34] Cara Zelaya: No, no, no. Uh we were gonna meet at like a clinic, like a patient's first, or like whatever.

[11:38] Cara Zelaya: I'm like, let's get let's get coffee.

[11:40] Cara Zelaya: And you're like, no, he needs to go to the emergency room.

[11:42] Cara Zelaya: So we go to the like, you know, not the emergency room, because we're not crazy.

[11:45] Cara Zelaya: Also, we're not loaded.

[11:46] Grace Aki: No, no, exactly.

[11:47] Cara Zelaya: So we're not gonna, you know, put him in debt.

[11:49] Cara Zelaya: Um, so we go to a what are they called?

[11:51] Cara Zelaya: The walk-in, like, whatever. One of those clinics.

[11:54] Cara Zelaya: I was about to call it emergency.

[11:56] Cara Zelaya: That is so sadly.

[11:59] Cara Zelaya: You know, you know, when you uh like get your arm accidentally amputated, you just rub a little emergency on it.

[12:05] Grace Aki: Oh emergency.

[12:07] Cara Zelaya: No, so we so I take him to one of these like uh city MDs.

[12:07] Cara Zelaya: City MDs.

[12:12] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, that's what it was.

[12:13] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, and we find out that he's lacerated his eye because he fell asleep in his contacts, probably for like the tenth straight day because otherwise the most white boy injury I've ever heard of it.

[12:23] Cara Zelaya: He was in a ton of pain, and I'm sitting there like holding his hand at a CVS pharmacy, being like, It's gonna be fine, we're gonna get you a painkiller.

[12:29] Cara Zelaya: These are the drops, this and the other.

[12:31] Cara Zelaya: He takes a painkiller and he gets floopy.

[12:36] Cara Zelaya: Um, like he's just I mean, he is talking about I have video of him like I'm trying to hail a cab to bring him to the Bronx, and he is like, we have to liberate Cuba.

[12:48] Grace Aki: Like that was when he was really That's right, he was like He's like Cuba livre.

[12:53] Cara Zelaya: We're from Miami, Cuba Livre, and I'm like, yes, yes, I agree.

[12:56] Cara Zelaya: Can you please get in this?

[12:57] Cara Zelaya: Like, and like Joe's roughly my size, but a little heavier, so I'm like pushing him in this cab.

[13:01] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[13:02] Cara Zelaya: We get in.

[13:03] Cara Zelaya: Um, I'm like, Joe, what's your address?

[13:03] Cara Zelaya: What's your address?

[13:07] Cara Zelaya: And he's like, I live in the Bronx, and I'm like, okay, whatever, we get it.

[13:11] Cara Zelaya: Um he lives in like a fifth story walk-up.

[13:14] Grace Aki: Uh yes, it was on the fifth floor, fifth floor walk-up.

[13:16] Cara Zelaya: Fifth floor walk-up.

[13:17] Cara Zelaya: I'm pushing him up the stairs.

[13:19] Cara Zelaya: He's like, he's like trying to get away from me.

[13:21] Cara Zelaya: I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[13:23] Cara Zelaya: I'm like pushing him up.

[13:24] Cara Zelaya: I don't have the best knees, this and the other.

[13:26] Cara Zelaya: Uh we knock on the door.

[13:28] Cara Zelaya: Um, I had I told Joe, text one of your roommates and let them know that like I'm coming.

[13:32] Cara Zelaya: Right?

[13:33] Cara Zelaya: No, it didn't happen.

[13:34] Grace Aki: Okay.

[13:34] Cara Zelaya: Well.

[13:35] Cara Zelaya: Of course.

[13:37] Cara Zelaya: I think that Damon did know because he opened the door.

[13:41] Cara Zelaya: Oh.

[13:42] Cara Zelaya: Shirtless.

[13:43] Cara Zelaya: But fully holding his phone out.

[13:46] Cara Zelaya: Because I think no, he did.

[13:49] Cara Zelaya: And he's like taping Joe because Joe's like, Cuba living, what's up, bruh?

[13:53] Cara Zelaya: Like, just like totally messed up.

[13:57] Cara Zelaya: Um that's when I met Damon.

[14:03] Cara Zelaya: Damon like doesn't even say hi to me.

[14:05] Cara Zelaya: He's just like crying, laughing at how messed up Joe is.

[14:09] Cara Zelaya: Like, I mean, he's not helping you, he's just like helping out, he's just like holding the camera, and I'm like, okay.

[14:14] Cara Zelaya: And I'm like putting Joe in his like IKEA bed, and like there's like twinkle lights on, and like, hmm, it looks like a woman was here.

[14:22] Cara Zelaya: Which I mean, probably you help him decorate this.

[14:24] Cara Zelaya: And he had like a like stuffed tiger situation.

[14:28] Cara Zelaya: That was a gift, yes.

[14:28] Cara Zelaya: It was all weird, it was all very weird.

[14:30] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, and so I put him in there, and I'm like looking at Damon B, and you're like, hey, hi, Kara, nice to meet you, blah blah blah.

[14:36] Cara Zelaya: These are painkillers.

[14:37] Cara Zelaya: Make sure he does not take all of them at once.

[14:39] Cara Zelaya: He will die.

[14:40] Cara Zelaya: Like, I'm just like literally, and he's like, hmm, yeah, I won't.

[14:42] Cara Zelaya: And I'm like, not a responsible boy to be telling this to wish I had been home.

[14:47] Cara Zelaya: I worked like a crazy person back then, and I still do, but then I went down to like a bodega and got like bacon, egg, and cheeses, and then like we lived above a Dunkin', so you probably hit the Dunkin'.

[14:57] Grace Aki: Yeah, yeah, like a croissant.

[14:59] Cara Zelaya: And that's the first time I met Damon.

[15:00] Grace Aki: And then like without a shirt on.

[15:02] Cara Zelaya: Without a shirt, I don't think he ever put one on at that point.

[15:04] Grace Aki: I don't think I've ever seen Damon with a shirt.

[15:06] Cara Zelaya: People always know him in my home. I had to stop doing Instagram stories of him for the longest time because I was like, people are gonna think that he's just a naked boy. Like they're gonna and also like you guys, you gotta pay for that.

[15:18] Grace Aki: Yeah, I married him, and I get to have that, and I shouldn't just put that off of her.

[15:24] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, I mean, and that's Netflix pays him the way. I feel like Damon and I then I think he had to go to audition or something after, but like he and I like hung out for a little bit just like dunking on no, but like dunking on Joe, and like that was the extent of like um, but like we love Joe and he's wonderful.

[15:39] Grace Aki: And then um at the time I was working at several theater companies, actually. And uh, I don't know how I did that, and I was getting, you know, people who are in the know and are in the biz know that like if you work in theater, um, you often get like comps, which are like free tickets to go see shows because you're like an industry person.

[16:00] Cara Zelaya: Right.

[16:00] Grace Aki: So and because also like low key, like they have to fill the house properly.

[16:05] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[16:05] Grace Aki: So if like uh a ticket doesn't sell, a lot of times they're like, oh well, we want the seat to be filled with someone. I mean, that's how anything happens.

[16:14] Cara Zelaya: Like it's like promotion.

[16:16] Grace Aki: Yeah, and it makes sense too because it's like you know, your employees and your staff are like your number one advocate, and like how can you be an advocate for a product you don't consume, so to say.

[16:24] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[16:25] Grace Aki: Not not to because you're ten times more likely to, if you're representing a show, be like, oh my god, I saw it last week. I've seen it three more times. You have to go.

[16:33] Cara Zelaya: Right. It's it's how we have to I've also had comps to shows and then I've paid to go see it. Like I I saw Bright Star.

[16:41] Cara Zelaya: Oh, you know what? You know what? But we're also different, you and I. You go see Bright Star several times. I saw The Humans like five times. Um, I saw Fun Home a couple times too.

[16:52] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[16:52] Cara Zelaya: Um and so they owe me money because I was there so much and I talked about it so much. I'm like, I should get royalties. Anyways.

[17:00] Cara Zelaya: I so yeah, I I was new to New York. I didn't have a ton of friends. Uh Joe was kind of ironically in many ways my lifeline when I first moved here. And I wanted someone to see shows with because I was like, oh my god, for the first I have no money. I can offer nothing in a friendship other than my I can give you nothing but these free things.

[17:20] Grace Aki: Yeah, I can give you uh nothing. Um I Joe was working odd jobs and could never be someone that like can make a show really, and then he eventually went back to Florida and went to grad school.

[17:33] Cara Zelaya: Mm-hmm.

[17:34] Grace Aki: And that's when I met one that Miss Grace Aki.

[17:38] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[17:39] Grace Aki: Yeah. So take it over. Where did we meet? Because now I'm like, do I remember?

[17:44] Cara Zelaya: I don't know. Um, because famously we saw like hundreds of shows together.

[17:49] Grace Aki: I mean, legitimately. I've never seen more shows with and I've never like done the same activity with someone more than I have a boyfriend.

[17:57] Cara Zelaya: Um, here we are again.

[18:01] Grace Aki: And even now I'm like, did you?

[18:04] Cara Zelaya: Um, but no, uh, yeah, we were we were slated to see Noises Off.

[18:11] Grace Aki: Is that the first show we did?

[18:12] Cara Zelaya: Yes, because I remember not wanting to go. I gave you a comp that I didn't go with you for what? Fun Home.

[18:17] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[18:18] Cara Zelaya: Before we met, I was like, go see Fun Home.

[18:20] Grace Aki: I saw Fun Home because of your comp.

[18:22] Cara Zelaya: And I was like, thank you, person, I don't know. And like tagged you or something.

[18:25] Grace Aki: And then you're like, okay.

[18:26] Cara Zelaya: Um, because I was sitting, I had waited to see it for the longest time because it came out. Wait, was that the first time you saw Fun Home?

[18:33] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[18:33] Cara Zelaya: I did that for you.

[18:35] Grace Aki: Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no. I will tell you that. Um, I won a lottery.

[18:40] Cara Zelaya: Okay.

[18:40] Grace Aki: Okay.

[18:40] Cara Zelaya: And then I went and Damon won a lottery, and then he sat somewhere else. And I was like, I should not have sat by myself for this. I should have shelled out money for him to sit with me because I am not well. And so then I saw it a couple more times, but I got to see it again because of your comp.

[18:54] Cara Zelaya: And um, so like when we when you reached out to me and said, like, hey, I have a comp for um Noises Off in my brain. I will disclose this information. I was like, that stupid British show. I was like, that silly Willy, stupid pooped show. And I was like, I don't wanna go, and then there's this girl that I don't know. And I was like, and then I was like, but I'm off. And also free theater.

[19:21] Grace Aki: Free theater.

[19:21] Cara Zelaya: Who was okay? Megan Hilty was in it for sure. And I'd seen her as Glinda. So good. I was so excited to see it once I like knew some of the cast members.

[19:29] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[19:29] Cara Zelaya: And I was like, sounds like it'd be fun. I should give it a chance because I've only seen high schools do it, which, like, yeah, obviously, like when you see a shitty high school do it, like it's not gonna be good.

[19:39] Grace Aki: Right.

[19:39] Cara Zelaya: So then I was like, fine, I'll meet you. And so I show up at the American Airlines Theater. You are way taller than I thought.

[19:45] Grace Aki: Um I get that a lot.

[19:47] Cara Zelaya: Yeah. And so I was like, okay, cool. And then we were on the dead ass front row.

[19:52] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[19:53] Cara Zelaya: Far left, and like the the first, the main character, like the director, yeah, ran up next to us and then sat on the edge of stage in front of me, and we were like holding each other's hand, like, oh my god, we're experiencing theater together. And then that's when we coined the phrase front row foxes.

[20:07] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[20:08] Cara Zelaya: Because we were like, what's the hashtag of the night? Like we were like, at the time was like I've mentioned super broke. And so I was wearing, I don't know if you remember this, I was wearing flats that had little foxes on them.

[20:19] Grace Aki: Oh, I remember those flats.

[20:21] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. They're so cute. And so, you know, I I remember that being like our like that was that became our thing, and then we saw so many shows. And we would always hashtag front row foxes, and like that's the thing too. It's like you kind of get like these rush sort of seats that are like on the side, very to the front, or I mean sometimes we've been back row bitches, and that's fine.

[20:42] Grace Aki: Back row bitches is always a really like enlightened.

[20:45] Cara Zelaya: Long day's journey into that. Oh, we can even go into that story.

[20:49] Grace Aki: Okay, so we no, I can't.

[20:54] Cara Zelaya: Okay, so here's what happened. I gotta take a second and tell y'all about my personal training coaches, Steve and Rachel Payne at House of Pain. I've been doing their workout programs, let's say three years, and they shape bodies. And yes, they prepare people to compete in bodybuilding shows, which some of it's your jam, it's not my jam. What I love about them is that they understand the look that I want. Tone, fit, something that's sustainable for my lifestyle. They create a custom individual plan that includes my workouts, my cardio, and my nutrition. I do their online program, but when I'm in Atlanta, I do one-on-one training with them at their facility, and it kicks my ass. They FaceTime me whenever I have questions, alter my plan when needed, and no matter what stage you want to step on, competition, career, lifestyle, a red carpet, wedding, whatever it is, House of Pain personal training is the most personal training you can get. Visit their website, train with pain, T-R-A-I-N with P-A-Y-N-E.com for more details.

[21:53] Grace Aki: You worked for a company that got to go to opening night.

[21:56] Cara Zelaya: Yes. And we um we were in the Valley back of the theater. Like shockingly, back to where I thought we were gonna be operating the spotlight.

[22:05] Grace Aki: Oh, we were.

[22:07] Cara Zelaya: I'm actually there. We were in all black. I was wearing a turtle, like so were you. And we were the first all female D.

[22:12] Grace Aki: We were.

[22:16] Cara Zelaya: And I just want to say, like on the half of women, like you know who thanked us? Michael Shannon.

[22:20] Grace Aki: This is gonna be so niche.

[22:27] Cara Zelaya: We are first of all, you guys, that show is fucking long. It's like four and a half of you. I saw it four times. Um, okay. If you think The Irishman is long, you don't know what long is because you've clearly not John Gallagher Jr., Michael Shannon, other people.

[22:42] Grace Aki: Wait, the woman's won the Tony Award for the color.

[22:46] Cara Zelaya: Other people. Michael Shannon, John Gallagher Jr., other people. Jessica Wayne. We didn't notice them. Uh we did not notice that because then there's also the older um is he Irish or Scottish? I can't remember. I'm sorry, that sounds like I don't care about their ethics.

[22:58] Grace Aki: Yeah, yeah, but I don't know what he's doing. Um so, but anyways, we were there for March Ter Stiefel and Michael Shannon of Grimace Michael Shannon face. Big Chicago.

[23:08] Cara Zelaya: Oh, Chicago. Big shoulders, big dreams. Okay, so here we are at this party, and we are like the youngest, dingyest people there.

[23:16] Grace Aki: And we are we really are. I'm sorry about it.

[23:19] Cara Zelaya: And we it's at B.B. King Blues Bar Rest in Peace, because it is no longer it fully closed down. I know. I'm sorry, you've been gone for a while. I cursing. And it goes to the dogs.

[23:30] Grace Aki: It goes to the dogs.

[23:32] Cara Zelaya: And so we're in the line. We're in the buffet line. Phoebe buffet. Ryan Murphy. Ryan Murphy is standing in front of me in a beautiful brocade blazer. And I was like, Ryan Murphy, you and Scream Queens are so good. But I couldn't say these things because we were both trying to reach for the chicken.

[23:50] Grace Aki: And so he is like walking past me, and then also like we're trying to get to John Gallagher.

[23:56] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, that's what we're doing. We are trying. That's the only reason we're there. We both love Spring Awakening so much.

[24:00] Grace Aki: Oh so much.

[24:01] Cara Zelaya: But also, like we don't talk about Jonathan Gallagher Jr. and that Tony enough. We don't enough in general, but his or she. Handler musical. I went to see American Idiot because of him.

[24:14] Grace Aki: Really?

[24:15] Cara Zelaya: Yes. And I saw Billy Joe Armstrong in it too. I mean, I've downloaded his album. Yeah.

[24:20] Grace Aki: He's okay.

[24:22] Cara Zelaya: And then also beautiful lesbian couple from um American Horror Story. I'm not familiar. She was in um the O.J. Simpson trial book.

[24:32] Grace Aki: Oh, I know who you're talking about, but I think she's beautiful and lovely, and I'm so sorry that we're not good with pop culture tonight.

[24:37] Cara Zelaya: So the episode title is What was we doing? Um should we go with uh we let's just not know. Put it in post, Damon.

[24:45] Grace Aki: Yeah. The name of that person is Burger.

[24:49] Cara Zelaya: So here we are in the flying full of like famous people, a lot of people that are just a new black, like lots of New York, New York, New York people. And here we are just trying to scoot closer to John Gallagher Jr.'s table, where his girlfriend is fiercely defending him away from the people, which like kudos to you. I've been there before, but like lady cakes, move aside because we wanted to say hi and leave. Like we are not trying to be annoying.

[25:10] Grace Aki: So to say, like you know, we are very much doing the bit that we're like fangirls, but like we we're professional adults.

[25:18] Cara Zelaya: We're professional adults, and we're fully like I fully work for this company. Like I fully work for this. And we're at the party, and and we're fully invited.

[25:26] Grace Aki: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[25:27] Cara Zelaya: At the party, no one's like, hey, can I get a pick? Like it's not a stage door.

[25:30] Grace Aki: It's not.

[25:32] Cara Zelaya: It's not. Everyone's being super professional. I literally just want to be like, great job on the show. Thank you so much for working with us. Welcome to the company's family. Like we didn't think we'd be in that room with someone that we admired like when we were in school, blah blah blah. And he's still young. So it's like more tangible than Michael fucking Shannon, who by the way cock blocked me from the Prosecco bar like three times. He's so big and tall, but like whatever. I will just go on this record while I side tangent that Michael Shannon is the kindest, most wonderful man, and I just love him. And I just need everyone to know that.

[26:02] Grace Aki: It was bizarre because he presents himself like he would murder your whole family.

[26:07] Cara Zelaya: But he's so lovely.

[26:08] Grace Aki: He's so lovely. What a good man. Um John Galk.

[26:11] Cara Zelaya: Oh, and then we oh, well, we you approached him, tried to approach him many times, kept getting, you know, sent away, sent away.

[26:19] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[26:19] Cara Zelaya: Like. And finally, like, we get in like a circle where it's like a couple of people talking, and he's in that circle, and I'm in that circle. And like, I then just is kind of anticlimactic because it's like I Oh yeah, this wasn't building to anywhere.

[26:37] Grace Aki: So sorry.

[26:37] Cara Zelaya: No, no, no. It's just about like when you meet. This is the reality of our business. Yeah. And you like meet your heroes, and then you just kind of are like, okay. You're a person. Yeah. I can't say anything to you.

[26:50] Grace Aki: It was like. Can I tell my Cameron Crow story? Should I? Because we're here. This is well to me, this is like anyway. John Gallagher Jr.'s wonderful. I just choked and couldn't say hi to him. John, if you're listening, which of course you are. Um, I love you. I love your work. I know that your sister is like a teacher in Queens, and I live in Queens, and like the work that she does for students and public education is really important to me. Okay, thank you. Short term travel's great. Okay, guys.

[27:14] Cara Zelaya: Thanks.

[27:14] Grace Aki: Thank you for your service.

[27:17] Cara Zelaya: That sounded really creepy.

[27:21] Grace Aki: I know your sister.

[27:22] Cara Zelaya: Um really took it there. Um, I don't need to tell that story. Let's cut that. I don't want to. I'll do it later when I have him on and then I fangirl again.

[27:32] Cara Zelaya: So our friendship blossomed from us seeing shows together.

[27:38] Grace Aki: And we just have we, I think, in my head, even though it's fully in my head, have the reputation on Broadway of being the best audience members.

[27:49] Cara Zelaya: Oh, we pretend in our brands, we've never discussed this. I'm saying it now. That we are literally the parents of the people in the show.

[27:57] Grace Aki: Oh, for sure.

[27:58] Cara Zelaya: For sure. Like, literally, somebody will come out and then they'll have like a like 11 o'clock number, and it's their only number in the show, and we're like, We're like, yes. Like being Nancy, Groundhog Day, I get it, honey. We are all there with you.

[28:12] Grace Aki: Well, being Nancy, uh Groundhog Day, R-I-P-E. Did you know that she was originally like going in for the main girl and the main girl was going in for Nancy? And then last minute casting was like, hey, why don't you guys read the other parts?

[28:27] Cara Zelaya: Oh.

[28:28] Grace Aki: And then there you go.

[28:29] Cara Zelaya: So it's like interesting, interesting.

[28:31] Grace Aki: Yeah, so like Grace and I, when we watch, you know, like we are very different people.

[28:38] Cara Zelaya: And we have what does that mean?

[28:39] Grace Aki: No, no, no. We're we're what I mean is like we're very different, I think, in many regards. And then we're very I think the way that we react to things is very similar.

[28:48] Cara Zelaya: And so it makes us like the perfect like duo to go see because we're like the like the old people and the Muppets.

[28:54] Grace Aki: The Muppets, yeah, exactly.

[28:55] Cara Zelaya: We're exactly and so I think that like I remember seeing The Cherry Orchard with you.

[29:00] Grace Aki: Oh, I I do too.

[29:05] Cara Zelaya: I remember odd days in New York City watching Chekhov. Um, probably no, I'm not even joking. We are third row dead center.

[29:13] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[29:14] Cara Zelaya: Staring down Lil Joel Gray.

[29:15] Grace Aki: Second time Joel Gray's come up.

[29:17] Cara Zelaya: Yeah. That's pod. Oh, really? Name of app, Joel Gray. Um, no, but we yeah, we were seeing, oh my god, under the Tuscan Sons, the other one.

[29:27] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[29:28] Cara Zelaya: Jessica, the other person.

[29:29] Grace Aki: Sure.

[29:30] Cara Zelaya: Is it I'm very bad at remembering actually. We are really bad right now.

[29:35] Cara Zelaya: Like this is also very embarrassing because we're very culturally savvy. Um, but anyway, so we're watching her and we're watching the show, and we don't know what's happening. I'm watching Taddy Cadinson like do another show, and I'm just like, how am I not on Broadway? Oh my god. Yeah, she was in everything that year. She was, I just saw her in another Chekhov show. Wow. It was Rush uh Russia Roger Russia or something. And um Moscow Moscow Mosque. Putin Putin Putin. No, I got it. At the roundabout. I'm getting tired. I don't work anywhere, but I'm getting fired. So yeah, so anyways, yeah, we're watching this show and like we're not really sure what's going on. And we've been there for what seems like days.

Yes. And um we're holding the channel. It was also a long day's journey in tonight. Yes, it was, and we're holding each other's hands, I believe. Yeah. And um that beautiful man, again, don't know the name. Um that beautiful man. And the mustard pants. Yes. And those mustard pants, and we were like, okay, sexually charged by this gentleman, but the rest of the show, who's to say? Yeah. Like, I don't know. I think the thing with us is that like we are never an audience. Well, you would want to sit next to us because we're not talking through the show. We are we have very strong rules where we don't talk about what we thought about the show until we are three blocks from the theater because the last thing you want to hear is you have absolutely loved a show, and then there's the two of us being like, ah now! Like I just even vice versa, like somebody like shit talking the show, blah blah blah, and then we're over here being so excited, and then it ruins the night.

[31:04] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[31:05] Cara Zelaya: So just like full disclosure, even if you're seeing like a local show, if you're seeing like a regional show, community theater, like there's and you know who I'll I'm about to name drop. Are you ready? I'm about to pick it up for you. Josh Radner.

[31:15] Grace Aki: Josh Radner.

[31:19] Cara Zelaya: Oh, Sarah, you put that on the floor. He put throwing this on the floor. I stopped throwing things. Josh Radner, my friend who I met twice. I can say this, because I don't know. Josh Radner's super hot in real life. Anyway, dude, good looking dude. Gets better with age, like a fine wine. Um, he said to not me, my husband.

[31:42] Grace Aki: You're name-dropping an anecdote that didn't even happen to you.

[31:45] Cara Zelaya: Shut the fuck up. That's literally what this podcast is. And if you can't get on board, please leave. Please leave. There's a sound effect of a door just closing. Okay, so literally he said to him, there is nothing so bad that you have to tell everyone about it. Like artistically. Because someone did put that in the album to the world. And like that's really good advice. It's really good advice to me. And also like I've started really taking that into account because there's so many times when we think of a funny quippy, snarky meme, and then I go, hold on. What does that purpose serve? Like, okay, I gotta laugh, but that's like hurtful. And I don't need to put that out into the world, so I'm not gonna like mammerman shit on all the things. And so now I kind of yeah, when we see shows, it's like, all right. We've always had that rule though. Let's have it. Three blocks that right.

[32:35] Grace Aki: So, like, guys, come on. You don't have to while you're in the theater, because this happens every time I see a show, people go, you know, wasn't as funny as I thought it'd be, or something like sorry I chose that accent, but like whatever. It's just yeah, it kind of sucks because it ruins the night, and um, don't do that. The end.

[32:51] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[32:52] Grace Aki: But that being said, we if you write, I feel like we should be invited. We should start a very intense lobbying campaign to be invited to press night.

[33:02] Cara Zelaya: Oh my goodness.

[33:04] Grace Aki: Yes. I went, and this is not that I was invited for was I invited for this reason. I don't know. Well, I got invited to the oh hello press night.

[33:11] Cara Zelaya: Oh sitting.

[33:13] Grace Aki: You know what? No, tell that.

[33:15] Cara Zelaya: Excuse me. Cara, will you tell me a story about my favorite piece of theater of all time?

[33:21] Grace Aki: Which is oh hello.

[33:23] Cara Zelaya: Alright. I need oh, I need to talk about something after this.

[33:26] Grace Aki: Um it's weighing on my heart.

[33:27] Cara Zelaya: Oh start.

[33:28] Grace Aki: Okay. Um, so I'm I don't remember the circumstances. I was friendly with one of the producers, and I think that's where I got the comp. Sorry, dropping names left.

[33:36] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, because you only got one.

[33:37] Grace Aki: I only got one. I only got one.

[33:40] Cara Zelaya: And it was for press night.

[33:42] Grace Aki: And I arrive late to the theater because I was coming from one of my 18 jobs, I'm sure.

[33:48] Cara Zelaya: When were we ever early?

[33:50] Grace Aki: That's true. Um, and we famously were outside eating aside balls.

[33:55] Cara Zelaya: Oh, um, until the last one.

[33:59] Grace Aki: Hold on. And so we're I run in, and the person who's like, I'm sitting, like, I'm like to the left, like there's I'm like the third seat in. And normally when you're like running into the theater, and like the curtain hadn't been down yet, but it was like getting to that point. The person like gets up when they can tell that there's like an empty seat, two seats from them. So I go in, and usually there's like the person gets up, right? And is like, oh, you know, like this is an empty seat, obviously I have to stand up. And I am like in my fervor or whatever, and I'm I like I said, I really believe in audience etiquette, so I get a little annoyed when there's like no a little bit not a bit.

[34:39] Cara Zelaya: So I'm standing next to this person.

[34:40] Grace Aki: Yeah, they're deep in conversation with someone else. I'm like looming over them, and looming. I really I really want to like get settled and set in and get into this theater experience, and I'm like, excuse me, like kind of very quickly to this person. Which in New York is like the equivalent of being like, excuse me, sir, could you but it was kind of rude.

[34:59] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[34:59] Grace Aki: And the guy's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Gets up. I lock eyes with him.

[35:06] Cara Zelaya: It's Seth Myers.

[35:08] Grace Aki: Awkward.

[35:09] Cara Zelaya: And then like his uh assistant or other person.

[35:12] Grace Aki: Yeah, and I sit next to him and the whole time I'm like.

[35:15] Cara Zelaya: And then Seth Myers proceeds to just have the most infectious, beautiful laughter throughout the whole show.

[35:24] Grace Aki: He's like us.

[35:24] Cara Zelaya: He's like laughing. He's like, ha ha. Like he's just so into it. He's really loving it. He's like remarkably handsome in real life.

[35:32] Grace Aki: Oh yeah.

[35:33] Cara Zelaya: And then we get to the part with too much tuna.

[35:35] Grace Aki: And they're like, oh, we're gonna do a too much tuna, which is like their talk show in the middle of this show. If you haven't seen it, it's on Netflix. I recommend it.

[35:42] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, free streaming.

[35:43] Grace Aki: It's just gonna theater. Sean Mulaney, Nick Roy, I know you're listening.

[35:48] Cara Zelaya: Well, they are they were actually the first ones to approach me about doing a podcast.

[35:52] Grace Aki: Of course.

[35:52] Cara Zelaya: They were like, hey, I know that you're like busy, but this would mean a lot to us emotionally. We don't get, you know, like John's over on this coast, Nick's on the other one. And like they miss me. Honestly, they're not, they're nowhere to be found.

[36:05] Grace Aki: Like, what have they done recently?

[36:06] Cara Zelaya: Everything? Honestly, and I've told them. I was like, guys, like, people, they're gonna forget about you. They're gonna forget about you.

[36:13] Grace Aki: God, I'm gonna get it soon.

[36:15] Cara Zelaya: I continue, continue. And uh the person they call up for too much tuna is Seth Myers.

[36:20] Grace Aki: And I felt like uh Dingus, but I was looking at the.

[36:23] Cara Zelaya: Oh, I know exactly where you were sitting then.

[36:25] Grace Aki: Yeah, that's the seat.

[36:26] Cara Zelaya: That's the seat.

[36:27] Grace Aki: Shit.

[36:27] Cara Zelaya: I know.

[36:28] Grace Aki: Anyway, that's the way too much tuna. The point is we laugh a lot at shows, so give us comps. Because uh, if you're sitting next to a press person, they'll be like, oh, everyone loved it. And it's like, because we have really obnoxious.

[36:38] Cara Zelaya: Our laughters also sometimes like sink at the same time, and we're like, ha ha!

[36:42] Grace Aki: Yes, oh my god, no, seriously.

[36:44] Cara Zelaya: And then also I think that when it's like dramatic.

[36:47] Grace Aki: Oh, oh we moan at this scene, right?

[36:50] Cara Zelaya: And we'll sit together and we'll be like, what was the tweet?

[36:50] Grace Aki: What was the tweet?

[36:54] Cara Zelaya: We this is not our tweet, this is not our intellectual properties.

[36:57] Grace Aki: Yeah, do it.

[36:57] Cara Zelaya: Oh, it's uh actor.

[37:01] Grace Aki: And that's when I knew they were all my son's roundabout audience.

[37:06] Cara Zelaya: Oh curtain.

[37:11] Grace Aki: So that in a nutshell is three years of our life.

[37:15] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, that's what we did.

[37:17] Grace Aki: Yeah, we would just go to things, and then we realized how like very into all things pop culture and all things not that you can tell from the fact that we knew no actors' names for this episode, but how how much we enjoyed like theme and like uh we've thrown a series of parties around our love for pop culture.

[37:37] Cara Zelaya: That's true. We threw the um with my roommate Mackie, who originally conceived the idea of Ron Howard's birthday party, which we celebrate every March.

[37:46] Grace Aki: That's also just so you guys know like not a joke, we're not gonna.

[37:49] Cara Zelaya: No, we celebrate Ron Howard, we throw Ron Howard a birthday party.

[37:52] Grace Aki: He has yet to come.

[37:53] Cara Zelaya: To be fair, we have not extended a formal invitation.

[37:56] Grace Aki: Which he would probably appreciate at this point.

[37:57] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, at this point, you know.

[37:58] Grace Aki: Um, so we throw Ron a birthday party every March and we invite all of our friends who dressed up in different movies honoring the great legacy that is Ron Howard.

[38:07] Cara Zelaya: Pause.

[38:08] Grace Aki: This is a life tip.

[38:11] Cara Zelaya: On my years of knowledge, and you know, like I am just the foremost expert on friends and family.

[38:18] Grace Aki: You have to keep people in your life that are on board.

[38:22] Cara Zelaya: And what that means is if someone says to you, I am throwing a blankety blank weirdo schmuirdo Ron Howard party, you don't go, why would you do that? That sounds stupid, don't know who that is.

[38:35] Grace Aki: Yes, you promptly you yes, and you promptly Google, you decide what you're dressing up as, and you show up.

[38:41] Cara Zelaya: Keep people that are on board, and also, if you're not being on board for your friends, get on board.

[38:41] Grace Aki: Get on board.

[38:45] Cara Zelaya: Get on board.

[38:46] Grace Aki: I absolutely freak out when it comes to singing harmonies. I hear someone sing a different note than me, and I assume I'm wrong. I've always looked for a better way to train my ear and give myself more confidence in my harmony singing ability. Now I get to tell you about my new go-to app, Harmony Helper.

[39:01] Cara Zelaya: Playbill features writer Ruthie Fireberg calls Harmony Helper a lifesaver for audition actors.

[39:06] Grace Aki: Broadway con star and Harmony Helper artistic advisor Rob McClure has called the app a game changer for the musical theater industry.

[39:12] Cara Zelaya: Harmony Helper will help you develop the skills to harmonize using the newest tech available.

[39:17] Grace Aki: With Harmony Helper, I can literally scan a sheet of music with the camera on my phone, and the app does some kind of witchcraft and maps out the harmony parts.

[39:24] Cara Zelaya: It converts each line of music to audio, allows you to control the playback volume for custom control over your learning process.

[39:30] Grace Aki: And then this, this is the crazy part.

[39:32] Cara Zelaya: It provides real-time feedback to let you know if you're singing your part correctly.

[39:36] Grace Aki: Take the rehearsal room into your own hands with Harmony Helper. Download it in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

[39:43] Cara Zelaya: We threw the original O to Ron Howard, and then last year we did Ron Howard to two Angels to Demons.

[39:49] Grace Aki: Yes.

[39:50] Cara Zelaya: And this March, we're you know, we're looking for themes for Ron.

[39:53] Grace Aki: So we could do it.

[39:54] Cara Zelaya: He's trying to 66 this year.

[39:56] Grace Aki: We could do a bo.

[39:57] Cara Zelaya: Do I know that on top of my head? I do.

[39:58] Grace Aki: Well, that's because last year we bought the special candles for 66.

[40:01] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, 65 because it was a retirement agent.

[40:02] Grace Aki: And he won't.

[40:03] Cara Zelaya: He won't see.

[40:04] Grace Aki: And then he shan't.

[40:05] Cara Zelaya: He shan't stop because that would be mean to uh us.

[40:08] Grace Aki: Us society.

[40:09] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[40:10] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[40:10] Cara Zelaya: So I think maybe we do like an Opie themed black and white.

[40:13] Grace Aki: So everyone has to be, and then oh, somebody gets in trouble with boy place?

[40:17] Cara Zelaya: I don't know.

[40:17] Grace Aki: Oh I hope not.

[40:18] Cara Zelaya: Are we going to wanna do a I don't know?

[40:22] Grace Aki: American graffiti?

[40:24] Cara Zelaya: Oh there's so many options.

[40:26] Grace Aki: 66.

[40:27] Cara Zelaya: There's something there.

[40:28] Grace Aki: It's in March.

[40:29] Cara Zelaya: It's in March.

[40:30] Grace Aki: By the time this comes out.

[40:31] Cara Zelaya: Oh, right.

[40:32] Grace Aki: Hopefully.

[40:33] Cara Zelaya: Hopefully it happens already.

[40:34] Grace Aki: We'll have the party.

[40:35] Cara Zelaya: But if not, tune in to our Instagram stories.

[40:38] Grace Aki: Because it gets weird.

[40:39] Cara Zelaya: But it's it's a lot of fun.

[40:40] Grace Aki: And we say all this to say that like just have fun with your friends.

[40:45] Cara Zelaya: It was amazing.

[40:46] Grace Aki: It's been amazing, you know.

[40:48] Cara Zelaya: I mean, one of the things that I will always remember is that Yes, tell me a story. When I was dirt broke, and I all I had to offer was comps and uh, you know, quippy comments, you were always someone that's like, hey, let me buy you a hot chocolate after the show because you gave me your comp.

[41:03] Grace Aki: And I was like, okay.

[41:06] Cara Zelaya: And like I'll never forget that, you know, like and that's like, and we were able to and are able to have fun.

[41:14] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[41:14] Cara Zelaya: If you can't monetarily because I do I have that now a lot where like I am the lucky recipient of like comps and then like special interests that write a note, say thank you, um, get someone a coffee, like whatever it is.

[41:27] Grace Aki: Like, just like I I can't give you an $80 gift card to blank, but I can blank blank blank.

[41:36] Cara Zelaya: So just try.

[41:37] Grace Aki: I mean, it's like that old saying where it's like it it people are never gonna remember what you did, they're gonna remember how it's my Angelou.

[41:42] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, it is my Angela, yeah.

[41:44] Grace Aki: People don't remember um what you did, what you did, but they'll remember how you make them feel.

[41:44] Cara Zelaya: How you make them feel, yeah.

[41:50] Grace Aki: And it's like if you had Venmo'd me like $30 for those comps, it wouldn't suck.

[41:54] Cara Zelaya: It wouldn't mean anything to me.

[41:55] Grace Aki: But like the fact that we would go to get like a cookie or like I tell a Venmo story, yes.

[42:00] Cara Zelaya: Tell me a story.

[42:01] Grace Aki: Because I don't like this person anymore, and then I can tell it.

[42:04] Cara Zelaya: Okay.

[42:07] Grace Aki: Also, so I know also after I just talked about how you should be a good friend and want to be a good person, I was like, fuck this guy.

[42:14] Cara Zelaya: Okay, so this person that I worked with.

[42:16] Grace Aki: Um, this was like my third week of work at this job, and I just wanted everybody like me. Guess what they didn't?

[42:22] Cara Zelaya: Uh, because I was like, get in sales.

[42:23] Grace Aki: So I was like, getting money, and they oh, I guess we're not.

[42:25] Cara Zelaya: And um, or maybe they were and they were just jealous.

[42:29] Grace Aki: And um, one person who shall remain nameless.

[42:34] Cara Zelaya: Okay.

[42:35] Grace Aki: Was like, I'm gonna go have a Starbucks.

[42:37] Cara Zelaya: And I was like, oh my god, cool.

[42:39] Grace Aki: No, no, sorry, pause. They were like, I'm gonna go to Starbucks.

[42:42] Cara Zelaya: I'm I said I'm going to go to Starbucks because I wanted something to drink.

[42:46] Grace Aki: And then I was like, what does everyone want?

[42:48] Cara Zelaya: So I was like, I'll get it. You know, I'll get everybody's because I sometimes have tried to buy people's affections.

[42:55] Grace Aki: Sure.

[42:55] Cara Zelaya: Uh it's you know, I'm Southern.

[42:57] Grace Aki: And um, so I got everyone's coffee order, and I went to Starbucks, brought everyone's drink, perfectly made how they wanted it, and they were all like, Thank you. And I was like, You're welcome. Please like me.

[43:08] Cara Zelaya: Right.

[43:09] Grace Aki: Two weeks later, girl goes, I'm gonna get Starbucks.

[43:15] Cara Zelaya: What does everyone want?

[43:16] Grace Aki: I was like, okay, cool, like we're all paying it forward.

[43:19] Cara Zelaya: That's nice.

[43:19] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[43:19] Cara Zelaya: I write down my order, I give it to her, she comes back, she Venmo requests me 610.

[43:26] Grace Aki: And I never forgot it because I go, hmm, there's the difference. It's one of the things that's things it's like we're all in the we're all in the struggle, and like, you know, this, that, and the other. But it's like, I knew that in that period when you bought your co-workers' coffee, you couldn't.

[43:41] Cara Zelaya: No.

[43:42] Grace Aki: No.

[43:42] Cara Zelaya: Right, right.

[43:43] Grace Aki: But you did it because you're like, this is my like social investment.

[43:46] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, I'm trying to show you that I am not like selfish and I wanna be kind.

[43:52] Grace Aki: But it's weird because it's like that.

[43:54] Cara Zelaya: I never forgot that.

[43:55] Grace Aki: Yeah, and I told her this months into a very good friendship with her.

[44:00] Cara Zelaya: Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Like we had become like very close. And I said, you know what that actually really hurt me. She's like, why? And she still didn't get why.

[44:05] Cara Zelaya: She was like, oh, that's not a big deal. And I'm like, see, you'll never get it.

[44:10] Cara Zelaya: So it's like, I don't know how to describe. It's just like a weird thing.

[44:21] Cara Zelaya: Can I tell you a Venmo story?

[44:23] Grace Aki: Oh, tell me a story about Venmo.

[44:24] Cara Zelaya: I don't know if I've actually told you the story.

[44:26] Grace Aki: Oh God.

[44:27] Cara Zelaya: So I was dating a fellow in New York City. Sorry to everyone doing that. And so dating a fellow in New York City. Um, and it was going okay. You know, it was fine. He I liked him fine. We had similar interests, you know, he was cute, like whatever. It was New York. Um, New York dating. And he left his jacket at my apartment. And we've been dating for about like two months, like on and off, nothing serious. Substantial social. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He left his jacket, whatever. I then went to a wedding where I met my now boyfriend. Okay. I wasn't exclusive with this guy. It was literally nothing. It's like, you know, like dating. You know, like we were like going on dates and we would hook up and like that was it.

So I go to this It's a New York story. Yeah, and I was like in that phase of my life where I was like, if I find my person cool, if I find it great, but in the meantime, like whatever. So I wasn't like bummed that I wasn't like hyper into the New York guy. I go to this wedding, I meet my now boyfriend, I come home, and I tell my roommate, I go, I don't know if I'm gonna date that man that I'm in at this wedding, but I need to be dating men like him. Ah, yeah. Wow. I literally was like the standard, yeah. I was like, it's this kind of thing, it's like you know it when you see it. And I literally in my head was I truly did not believe I would ever date my boyfriend, but I was like, that's the kind of man I want to be with.

So I broke up with the New York guy. I mean, broke up is very strong. I was like, hey, you know, I've had a really great time with you. I really think I'm looking for something a little bit more serious, and you know, I just I think you're a great guy. But um, I don't think we should be a no. I don't think we should see each other anymore. Um, and he was I wrote a very long thing because I'm don't send first drafts. I like very kind. I had like explain first draft theory. Oh, so first draft theory is when you just kind of blurt out something without thinking about how it'll impact them, without going through a couple of rewrites, especially on text where it's like so that stays. Yeah, that stays, and they can read it.

And like, like I said, this wasn't like hyper serious where I thought like we needed to go to like a candlelit dinner and be like, I'm calling it off. It was like I hadn't seen him in four weeks. First of all, the I know, I know candle dinner. Can I tell I'm not great at calling it off? Um, so he responded back being like I very mature, being like, I totally get it, no worries, like you know, this happens, blah blah blah. And I was like, great. Sure, sure. And he was like, um, I did leave a jacket at your place though. Can I get it back? And I'm like, absolutely. I have no hard feelings for you, like this, that, and the other. Uh let's meet up at this time to the great. I brought the jacket to my work because we were meeting up like closer to my job.

Yeah. And I'm like, hey, are we still down to meet today? And he's like, Oh, I can only make this hour. And I was like, well, you said this hour, and like I work in an office and I have asked out to go out this hour, so like I can't meet with you now because I have to be at my desk at my job because I'm an adult. Um having to qualify what work means is hilarious. So he likes worked for himself, so it was eye roll. Um, not that there's anything wrong with that, but he just had a much more fluid schedule, and I was like, You can meet me at any time. And I have a very rigid schedule. He's like, no, no, no worries, we'll do this and the other. Couple nights later, he drunk texts me and is like, I can't believe that like you called it off.

I don't understand. Like, like, yeah, very like hostile. And I don't respond at night because mama didn't raise no fools. The next day I'm like, hey, I think it's a little inappropriate to text me so late. Um, like I said, I think you're wonderful. I just am in this situation where like blah blah blah blah blah blah. I don't feel like we're right for each other. Fine. Oh, I'm so sorry I sent that to you at night. Great. Then we continue to do this for I swear six weeks, where he is like, Oh, can we meet up to get the jacket? And I'm like, yes, and he keeps canceling on me. So, and then one drunk night he sends me a very explicit text. Oh uh, you mean by explanation? Like it's like sexually explicit text.

Oh, stop it. Yeah, at this point, I'm fully talking to my aunt! I'm fully talking to my now boyfriend. And I'm like, I don't have time for this like behavior. And I go, This is really inappropriate. Don't please stop it. Like, can I I'm gonna mail you your jacket. Yeah, so I don't have to see you. So I don't have to see you. I feel very uncomfortable. And I'm this kind of person where I'm like, I give you a thousand things, I've communicated you a thousand times, I just don't want to deal with it. We're not friends, I don't know you, and I block him. Okay. He then sends me a super angry email because it's 1995. There's something so very intimate about emailing someone versus communication via social media and or text.

So I don't respond to it. I block him on every single version of social media, everything. I have sent him his jacket back. Weeks pass, months. Now I'm fully dating my boyfriend. And I would love for you to have been like, I'm on my second trial with this guy. And I'm on my phone, whatever. I haven't thought about this dude forever. Sure. And I get a Venmo request for $15 because he left his headphones, his like iPhone headphones at my apartment as well. And I blocked him on that, and I was like, thank you, next. Those headphones now belong to my roommate, Matt Key. Yes. Really? Those are just they come with your phone. Calm down. They aren't. Also, if you were to an airport. Maybe you'd meet me in time to.

I just anyway, that's my Venmo story. Sorry, that was very long. Oh, to quote bonus dad Rick. Lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine. Truly. That you could get that tattooed on my ass today. And I'd be like, still checks out.

[50:48] Grace Aki: Yeah. Yeah. Can't see it, but I respect it.

[50:53] Cara Zelaya: Wow. Okay, well, I feel like we've gotten to the part of the pod where we play short story.

[50:58] Grace Aki: Okay. Do you feel good about that?

[50:59] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[51:00] Grace Aki: Okay. So for all of you new listeners, probably everybody. Um, is uh this is the time where we will play kind of an improvised game a little bit, uh, where I will give Cara a word. Kara will give me a word. We have not prepared for this, and we have two minutes to tell a short story. It could be true or false, but we're gonna do it. And Cara, do you want to go first?

[51:22] Cara Zelaya: I'll go first.

[51:23] Grace Aki: Okay.

[51:23] Cara Zelaya: So then I give you a word, or you give me a word.

[51:26] Grace Aki: Um, you give me a word.

[51:28] Cara Zelaya: Okay, cool, because that's what I wanted to do. Um, okay, so I decided your word.

[51:33] Grace Aki: Mm-hmm.

[51:34] Cara Zelaya: I've thought about it. How long is this story?

[51:36] Grace Aki: Two minutes.

[51:38] Cara Zelaya: Oh. And your word is Roomba.

[51:43] Grace Aki: Go.

[51:43] Cara Zelaya: Oh no, I've already talked so much about people updated. Now I regret this. Okay, so um, a super lovely person that I loved very, very much. We were at the tail end of our relationship. Stop it. What happened? We're at the tail end of our relationship. He's great. I wish him nothing but the best. But it was like very clearly the last uh breath of a relationship, and we were doing long distance, and it was my birthday, and he sent me a Roomba, which is the most uh great gift you could give me because I'm a practical lady who hates vacuuming. And so I had this Roomba, and me and my roommate named it Jacques because of the shrimp from Finding Nemo who cleans up the tank. And so the Roomba was just going around, and I was like, oh my god, I was planning on breaking up with you, but now you sent me a Roomba.

What am I gonna do? So I held on for two weeks. Um, uh before I called it off with him because I couldn't with the guilty consciousness anymore. And the Roomba kept cleaning up my messes and the messes of um my failed relationship, which you know it it's spiritually healed me, it spiritually cleansed. Um, and then we got to a point where my roommate would um get very upset about the fact that I was no longer with this person, not because he was right for me, she didn't like him, but because I was no longer getting lovely gifts in the form of practical cleaning devices, like a Roomba. We really needed like a Swiffer duster, we really and it would have come in handy, and it makes me sound horrible.

Anyway, cut to I still have the Roomba, but I've moved to a different city. I've moved into a new apartment that is mine, and now my boyfriend's about to move in with me, and the Roomba still is there, and it brings me joy. It brings me joy. So, TLDR, you can get a gift from someone, um, and not feel bad about where it came from because it cleans up your messes. Um that's your time.

[53:39] Grace Aki: I love that you tried to have like a moral to your short story about oh, they're gonna hate me. Listen, I I will never forget because we will do my short story in a second, but I had to tell this story. Um, no, no. Um, I will never forget you getting the Roomba, it was October. Um because we were all in an Uber from my house in Jersey City. No, I wasn't living in Jersey City, I was going to Jersey City um to my favorite vintage shop, another man's treasure, and we were all in an Uber. It was like four of us in the car with this nice Uber man, and he goes, he was he was like, he was listening to this story about how I'm like trying to call it off, and he sends me a Roomba. Man, you gotta break up with that guy. And we were like, Yeah, and then he was like, No, you gotta do it today. And he you were like, How about in three weeks? And he goes, why? And like he literally, we like took him through it. It was so great. Five stars. Can't wait.

[54:36] Cara Zelaya: Yeah. Roomba.

[54:39] Grace Aki: Alright. Alright, it's my turn.

[54:40] Cara Zelaya: Yeah.

[54:42] Grace Aki: Alright, you have a word for me?

[54:43] Cara Zelaya: Hold on, let me think.

[54:44] Grace Aki: Okay.

[54:45] Cara Zelaya: I'm gonna try and give you.

[54:48] Grace Aki: It can be a mundane word.

[54:50] Cara Zelaya: No.

[54:56] Grace Aki: What is a story of yours?

[54:59] Cara Zelaya: Twelve seconds later.

[55:00] Grace Aki: You're gonna feel like that.

[55:01] Cara Zelaya: It's in your one woman show.

[55:03] Grace Aki: I'd give that out for free care.

[55:05] Cara Zelaya: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was like, oh no, no, I can't do that. That's in your one woman show.

[55:11] Grace Aki: Okay.

[55:11] Cara Zelaya: Okay.

[55:12] Grace Aki: Okay.

[55:13] Cara Zelaya: Tell me.

[55:14] Grace Aki: Wait, wait, wait. No, I can't tell that you that's also in your show.

[55:19] Cara Zelaya: You're a silly girl.

[55:22] Grace Aki: One eternity later.

[55:24] Cara Zelaya: Kara's about to give me a word.

[55:25] Grace Aki: Mm-hmm.

[55:26] Cara Zelaya: The word is tampon.

[55:28] Grace Aki: Tampon.

[55:29] Cara Zelaya: Okay, so my time starts now. Um, okay, so never forget, I was at Sarah Loving Good's Mary K party. And um, I was in the sixth grade, perhaps. I don't know. I think I was like 11 or 12. Uh what how old is that? Anyways, um, so I was at her Mary K party and all the girls were wearing white. This is wow, just even the words that are coming out of my mouth. Um, and all the girls were wearing white, and I was like so excited because I had been invited to this like nice girls' party, and it was like fancy people and like they were buying makeup and I was like, Mom, can I please have a lip gloss? I was so excited about it. And um I felt like a tummy ache all day, did not feel well, was mad about my life, I guess.

And um I was uh by the way, I do have like some emotional, chemical, like there's stuff going on that I've realized now, but my whole life I was like, I'm cookie, and so um I I felt ill that day and I got home because I was like, Mom, can you take me home? I don't feel good, and I like ran upstairs in my home, and I get to the bathroom and I screamed. Kara, I screamed because I did not understand what was happening.

[56:33] Cara Zelaya: Oh no.

[56:34] Grace Aki: I thought I was dying, like a lot of girls do because I saw blood coming from me, and um Rick, my sweet bonus dad, who's now been mentioned twice, love you, shout out, um throws a pad because my family did not use tamps. Um throws a pad at my bathroom door, no nothing was said. I just opened the door and I had to figure it out. And then um your soiled undies.

[57:06] Cara Zelaya: Well, like, you know, I like changed out. Whatever. The point is is that I come downstairs and Rick goes, I told you, Margaret. I told you she'd been acting weird all week. She is acting just like and it wasn't even that shaming of like women are depressed and angry on their periods. No, he like literally knew that I was going through something, and knew and was totally prepared. My mom was like, that's not what it is. She's screaming like she hurt herself or something, and Rick was like, No, she has her period. And so, oh, that's my time.

[57:37] Cara Zelaya: Can I tell us someone we'll close it out here?

[57:39] Grace Aki: Should I trust?

[57:40] Cara Zelaya: So, um, uh sure we'll talk about this at some other point, but like I I work in politics and I cover all these like political things, and so I've had to cover the democratic debates for the past seemingly. Oh, and we're gonna have you on to talk politics.

[57:52] Grace Aki: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[57:54] Cara Zelaya: Um, and my you know, the debates have been happening like seemingly every month, and for me it's always a very hard day at work because I have to like do my work day, and then it's like I have to cover the debates, which is a night thing. Um, and I'm just tired because they go on till forever. And I it's always a very stressful week.

[58:13] Grace Aki: Yeah.

[58:13] Cara Zelaya: And this last batch of debates have always synced up with you, me. And my sweet, sweet, sweet boyfriend is always like, I've noticed that uh because I always take the debate days really hard, like it's probably exacerbated by the fact that the debates like kind of match up with and he just gives me this face, and it's again the same thing as Rick, where he's like not like at all. He's just sort of like, I notice that you're like fatigued and tired and this, that, and the other, and it's very sweet, but it's so next time you watch a democratic debate about Kara's dominant uterus. Have a great night.

[58:52] Grace Aki: Have a great night, everyone.

[58:54] Cara Zelaya: And one time there's more to the story.