This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:06] Ladies and gentlemen: This is a presentation of the Afro Existential Podcast. Enjoy.

[0:23] Ladies and gentlemen: Hello. I am your host, Blaine Teamer, and welcome to The Afro-Existential Podcast. Our premier episode is a six-part series entitled Dead Wait: A Journey in Afro-Existentialism. It is a black comedy about an all-American family spending some much-deserved quality time together. And it was written especially for The Afro-Existential Podcast by Blaine Teamer. It is sponsored in part by Lou and Improved Afro Existential Sheen Shampoo and Deep Conditioner. And that's no lie.

[1:30] Blaine Teamer: Actually, it's quite the pandemic today. People will go to any length to avoid the truth of their own reality. French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre would call this mauvaise foi, or bad faith. In other words, people just be fronting. Now, a perfect example can be found in the small Los Angeles apartment of the Mulligan family. As our story opens, you will find Brady, the father, in front of the TV, as his wife Georgina is aimlessly trying to have a conversation with him as she makes cakes for a church fundraiser. Oh, and one thing you should note about Georgina Mulligan is that she is a woman that likes to finish what she starts.

[2:23] Georgina Mulligan: Brady, sweetheart. Did I tell you what my two trivial prayers were today? I prayed that you'd have a change of heart about Ollie's day. And look, you really did. Oh, my other trivial prayer was... Sweetie, did you check your tickets to see if you finally won? I guess if you did, you wouldn't be sitting over there, huh? Where will we go? It'd be so nice to get out of here and see the world again. Barely remember the last time we left this place. Helen posted pictures on Facebook. Too many of you asked me about their trip to Monaco. I don't need to see her old, ugly dancer's feet overlooking an otherwise perfectly beautiful beach. Oh, well, anyway. I reckon most people end up blowing all their lottery winnings and end up right back where they started.

[3:34] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, your show is on. On this episode of Who the Hell Did I Marry? This time, Victoria was everything that Donald wanted in a Ukrainian mail-order bride. But he soon discovered that Victoria's very shocking secret... A penis. Victoria used to be Victor. Poor Donald. Didn't see it coming. This is... Mm-hmm. It's delicious. Brady, I know you're over there thinking, is she really over there decorating a cake? You know how I am. I always have to finish what I start.

[4:18] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, your show is on. Who's that baby's daddy? Hello, everyone. On today's show, we are looking at sibling rivalry. Welcome, Colt. Colt says his fiancée Brittany cheated on him with her stepfather Gunner. Now he doesn't know if little Magnum is his baby. But wait, that's not all. Brittany's stepfather just happens to be Colt's twin brother Gunner. Let's meet Colt's fiancée. Please give a warm welcome to Brittany. Who's that baby's daddy? Who's that baby's daddy?

[5:04] Brittany: Dad don't know me. Y'all, be quiet. It's a damn lie, Alex. He was spreading fake news. It's fake news. He knows he's that baby's daddy. Alex! Alex! Alex! Yes! Brittany, I'm right here. Please let her speak. Go ahead. Alex, he's spreading fake news, and he needs to build a huge wall around his lies so he can keep his lies away from my border because they are foreign to me and my baby.

[5:42] Brittany: Okay. My baby don't look nothing like me. Look at his ears. Look at his nose. He look like my brother Gunner. Your twin brother Gunner? Don't twins tend to look alike? Don't he sound stupid, Alex? Yah! Ain't he stupid? Him and his brother, they twins! Colt, why do you think he would sleep with his stepdaughter, your fiancée, and his future sister-in-law? Even as kids, he was always jealous of me, Alex. Always. If little baby Magnum is your son or nephew, I hope you two can work it out. Because either way, you are family.

[6:29] Alex: Here are the results. Tell the truth and shame the devil. Tell the truth and shame the devil, Alex. That's all I know. Here we go. When it comes to three-month-old baby Magnum, I guess you are shooting blanks, Colt, because you are not that baby's father.

[6:53] Colt: Oh god! Oh god! Oh God!

[7:01] Brittany: Don't call on God now. He forgot your number.

[7:06] Georgina Mulligan: I'll swear, Brady. I don't know how you watch this horrible show. I mean, when did other people's misery become entertainment?

[7:16] Georgina Mulligan: Oliver! Did you find it?

[7:19] Oliver Mulligan: Ma! You becoming like those women on that hoarder show. What's it called?

[7:25] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[7:26] Oliver Mulligan: Hoarders? If it's not there, then it's up here in this old trunk. Here, let me look through that.

[7:35] Georgina Mulligan: Brady, I guess I just didn't want Oliver to leave. He belongs here with us. But Brady, maybe something good can come of it. Now he can stay, right? Don't you think that would be okay now? I mean, considering. Did I tell you what my second trivial prayer was? I prayed that we could take a little staycation. Maybe the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. I mean, we would wait till everything is sorted out with you, of course, but I really think it would be so good for us. We need to get out of here. Don't you think?

[8:13] Georgina Mulligan: Brady. Oh, look at what I found in this old trunk. Oh, look at this picture. It's my first music video. Remember? How did that beautiful young girl end up stuck here? Oh now. Look at this, Brady. Our wedding album. This is how she ended up here. Look at me. So pretty in that white veil and straight jacket. Aww, look at this. Oliver's christening gown. Wasn't he sweet?

[8:53] Oliver Mulligan: I found it.

[8:55] Georgina Mulligan: What's that white stuff on your face? Oliver Mulligan, have you been sneaking into my cake batter? Huh?

[9:01] Oliver Mulligan: Uh what? Uh oh, oh yes, I must have gotten some flour on me. Uh who were you talking to? Huh?

[9:07] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I was just saying to your father that maybe we could take a family staycation. The three of us? Huh?

[9:15] Oliver Mulligan: How the hell would all three of us go?

[9:19] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, Oliver, I know your daddy's. I know he's dead.

[9:27] Oliver Mulligan: Thank God. Not that he's dead. I mean, good that you know he's dead and not talking to him like he's not dead.

[9:34] Oliver Mulligan: Seriously, Ma, I couldn't handle daddy dying tonight and you going 5150 all in the same night. You just don't stop talking to someone after 26 years of marriage. You know, I begged him not to kick you out. Not that he listened to me when he was alive.

[9:48] Georgina Mulligan: It don't happen so fast, does it?

[9:51] Oliver Mulligan: You really did. I mean, one minute he was alive, and the next minute he was dead. Just like that. We argue all the time, and it never—I mean, do you think that's what killed him? You know, our arguing all probably so.

[10:08] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, oh, I mean, no. I mean, it didn't help. I mean, it didn't add any years to his life, is what I'm trying to say.

[10:15] Oliver Mulligan: I get it. I get it. Whatever you do, honey, don't blame yourself. I mean, if I had been here when he was choking to death, I would have done the Heimlich and saved him. But like you said, it happened so fast. I went across the street to get some eggs for my cake, and I came back and Daddy was dead.

[10:33] Georgina Mulligan: You didn't hear him choking?

[10:36] Oliver Mulligan: If I saw or heard Daddy choking, I wouldn't have let Daddy choke.

[10:39] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I know.

[10:41] Oliver Mulligan: It's not your fault.

[10:43] Georgina Mulligan: Did you have your earphones on?

[10:45] Oliver Mulligan: Sometimes I'll be yelling for you.

[10:46] Georgina Mulligan: You can't hear me.

[10:47] Oliver Mulligan: I hear you.

[10:48] Georgina Mulligan: Huh?

[10:48] Oliver Mulligan: What was that?

[10:50] Georgina Mulligan: No, I didn't have my earphones on.

[10:53] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, oh, okay.

[10:54] Georgina Mulligan: It's not your fault.

[10:56] Oliver Mulligan: You hear me now?

[10:58] Georgina Mulligan: It's not.

[10:59] Oliver Mulligan: He'd get that horrible fried chicken from churches.

[11:03] Georgina Mulligan: You can't tell a thigh from a wing.

[11:05] Oliver Mulligan: And he'd eat it like it was his last meal.

[11:08] Georgina Mulligan: And I guess it was, wasn't it?

[11:09] Oliver Mulligan: Well, look on the bright side.

[11:11] Georgina Mulligan: In his obituary, you can spin it and say he loved to visit various churches and had visited his favorite one the night he passed.

[11:18] Oliver Mulligan: Always talking with food in his mouth.

[11:20] Georgina Mulligan: And who wants to see that?

[11:22] Oliver Mulligan: Now look what happened.

[11:23] Georgina Mulligan: He choked on his chicken.

[11:25] Oliver Mulligan: You know, it's one of seven deadly sins.

[11:28] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[11:28] Oliver Mulligan: Choking on your chicken?

[11:29] Georgina Mulligan: Gluttony.

[11:30] Oliver Mulligan: It's a sin.

[11:31] Georgina Mulligan: But God knows your daddy had a good heart.

[11:34] Oliver Mulligan: He was so lucky to get a heart transplant from that surfer.

[11:37] Georgina Mulligan: That's not what I meant, Oliver.

[11:39] Oliver Mulligan: But wasn't that a waste of money, now that I think about it.

[11:42] Georgina Mulligan: I meant he was a good person, despite all the heartache he caused me.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: No good lying bastard.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Anything you want.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: But can we stick a pen in that for a minute?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, shoot.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I need you to take my cakes to church for a seriously?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: They'd understand if you don't give them a cake this year.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I need you to focus.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Focus on what?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I always make a cake for the fundraiser.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Okay, I'll get the cakes there.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Listen.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I found the life insurance policy you asked me to look for.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: It's all paid up and current, the policy, right?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, give it here.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Yes.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Remember how your Aunt Kitty used to always make jokes about Uncle Rusty.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Being so old, and she took out all those insurance policies on him?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Yeah.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: She said she was gonna live it up like the Queen of Sheba when he was dead.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Then she cackled like an old hen.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I know, and then she got hit by a truck on the set of Blessed by an Angel.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, I know.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Listen.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Well, after all that cackling she did, it turned out she didn't keep up the payments.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Are you serious?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: He got all that money after she died?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Only because she got killed working on the set of Blessed by an Angel.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Well, the angel went and blessed your Uncle Rusty.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: So I always made sure I kept our policies up to date.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Where's the coroner?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Did you tell them your father was dead?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Uh, that's the first requirement for the coroner to come.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Do they take their time if the person is already dead?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: All the people they pick up are dead.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I wonder what's taking them so long.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I swear they are slower than the second coming of the Lord.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, I haven't called yet.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Why not?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: You told me to look for the insurance policy.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: After you call the I can't depend on you for anything.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, you can't.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Ma, listen.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, this policy says you get $500,000.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Didn't I tell you not to look at it?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Did you?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I guess in the rush to find it, I I'm the rush, but you had time to read it.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: It also says that I'm a beneficiary and I get $50,000.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Does it now?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: It does.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: It says right here, Mama.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: See?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Well, I guess now you really are gonna leave.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Well, that was the plan all along, right?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Daddy was putting me out on the street in the middle of the night like you do trash.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Daddy isn't here anymore, sweetheart.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I mean, once the coroner comes, he won't be over there anymore.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I've given it a lot of thought.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: A lot of thought?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: How?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Your daddy just died.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Remember when I did the GoFundMe campaign so I could go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity to help those poor people?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I don't remember that at all.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Come on.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Yes, you do.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Really, how could you forget that?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: What I remember is you getting arrested and using the funds for your bail.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: My point is, I thought I'd be going down there and teaching the poor people something.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: But those poor people taught me something so valuable about myself.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I learned I do not want to be poor.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Really?

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: And not only that.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: There's more.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Daddy said I was a horrible person, and he was right.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I am.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Nonsense.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: God doesn't make mistakes.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Never?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I think maybe he does.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: I think he makes a lot of mistakes.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I think he makes a lot of mistakes on purpose.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: You're just feeling this way because you were here when he choked to death, and you feel responsible.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: And now you're thinking about leaving me all alone.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Huh?

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, hold.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: Hold.

[16:46] Georgina Mulligan: I don't feel responsible for his death.

[16:46] Oliver Mulligan: You said he died from choking on his chicken.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: This might be the catalyst I need to get out of here and try to make something of myself.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Otherwise, I feel like I'll be stuck here forever.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe it's not too late.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: You really mean that?

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, this isn't like reverse psychology, is it?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Something you saw on Dr. Phil?

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: No.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: I vaguely recall being young once.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: I was gonna be a prima ballerina like your Aunt Helen.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: But I chose instead to raise you.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Go.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Go.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Be all you can be.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Thank you, Ma.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: I'm just glad your daddy didn't die at work.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Boy, oh boy.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: I'd probably never see you again.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: You'd be living in the south of France somewhere with all that money.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, where should I send your $50,000 check to?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Why?

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, what was that?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: You didn't say where you were going.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Where can I mail it?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Wait.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Why are you glad he didn't die at work?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: I thought you read the policy.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Well, god damn!

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: If he would have choked on his chicken at work, I'd have gotten $150,000.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Don't use the Lord's name in vain.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Your father was always at work.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Or that's where he said he was.

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Who knows where he was, really?

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Or with whom?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: No good lying bastard.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, snap!

[16:49] Oliver Mulligan: You get a million dollars!

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: I hope you at least stick around for the funeral.

[16:55] Oliver Mulligan: If not, I need to get my lie together now to explain why you're not at your father's funeral.

[16:59] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, is the peace course still a thing?

[17:01] Oliver Mulligan: Maybe I'll say that you couldn't get back from the Congo in time.

[17:04] Georgina Mulligan: Where's the Congo exactly?

[17:06] Oliver Mulligan: It's far, right?

[17:07] Georgina Mulligan: I don't want to keep you here stuck just on account of this money.

[17:11] Oliver Mulligan: Now go!

[17:12] Georgina Mulligan: I'll make sure you get it.

[17:13] Oliver Mulligan: Don't be ridiculous.

[17:15] Georgina Mulligan: I wouldn't miss it for the world.

[17:17] Oliver Mulligan: I mean, what kind of son would I be if I wasn't at my own father's funeral?

[17:21] Georgina Mulligan: What I'm saying is you don't have to stick around.

[17:23] Oliver Mulligan: I can mail you the check.

[17:25] Georgina Mulligan: Just write down the address, but put it where I can remember to find it.

[17:28] Oliver Mulligan: I'm taking those ginkgo supplements for my memory, but after time I forget to take them.

[17:32] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, are you trying to get rid of me now or what?

[17:35] Oliver Mulligan: You know better than that.

[17:37] Georgina Mulligan: I just want what's best for you.

[17:39] Oliver Mulligan: Isn't that all a mother ever wants for her child?

[17:43] Georgina Mulligan: Don't think twice about us.

[17:45] Oliver Mulligan: Well, me, actually.

[17:47] Georgina Mulligan: I really think your father died at home just to spite me.

[17:52] Oliver Mulligan: I have half a mind to just put your father in the car and drop him off at that video store.

[17:57] Georgina Mulligan: Is we both be rich.

[18:00] Oliver Mulligan: Uh, can you please call the coroner now?

[18:02] Georgina Mulligan: So he's ready in time for his own funeral.

[18:04] Oliver Mulligan: Africa.

[18:05] Georgina Mulligan: The Congo is in Africa.

[18:08] Oliver Mulligan: Mother, what did you just say?

[18:10] Georgina Mulligan: Can you call the coroner before the funeral?

[18:13] Oliver Mulligan: That's funny.

[18:14] Georgina Mulligan: No, before that.

[18:15] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, I don't know.

[18:16] Georgina Mulligan: But um.

[18:18] Oliver Mulligan: Put your father in the car and drop him off at work and collect that money.

[18:23] Georgina Mulligan: Better yet, maybe we could call him an Uber.

[18:26] Oliver Mulligan: Yes, that's that's that.

[18:28] Georgina Mulligan: Well, what about it?

[18:29] Oliver Mulligan: Yes.

[18:30] Georgina Mulligan: What about it, Mother?

[18:32] Oliver Mulligan: What about it?

[18:34] Georgina Mulligan: I'm saying just what you just said.

[18:38] Oliver Mulligan: I didn't say anything.

[18:40] Georgina Mulligan: I I I was just joking, Oliver.

[18:42] Oliver Mulligan: You always said there's a lot of truth in the joke.

[18:45] Georgina Mulligan: Not this time.

[18:46] Oliver Mulligan: This time would be the time, Mother.

[18:49] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, would it be so bad if we moved Daddy from spot A to spot B?

[18:53] Oliver Mulligan: If spot C was jail, yes, it would be so bad.

[18:56] Georgina Mulligan: Like going to jail for insurance fraud, bad.

[18:59] Oliver Mulligan: You think?

[19:00] Georgina Mulligan: Really?

[19:01] Oliver Mulligan: That bad?

[19:02] Georgina Mulligan: I mean.

[19:03] Oliver Mulligan: I am not going to drag your father's dead body down Olympic Boulevard in the middle of the night, Oliver.

[19:09] Georgina Mulligan: Ma, we are three miles from a million dollars.

[19:12] Oliver Mulligan: That's like 333k a mile.

[19:15] Georgina Mulligan: I could definitely do it for that.

[19:17] Oliver Mulligan: No problem.

[19:17] Georgina Mulligan: And lookie, Ma weighs the saying it'll take 15 minutes to get there.

[19:22] Oliver Mulligan: Where's my phone?

[19:23] Georgina Mulligan: I'm calling the corner right now.

[19:26] Oliver Mulligan: Give me my phone, Oliver.

[19:29] Georgina Mulligan: We are not that type of people.

[19:31] Oliver Mulligan: I'm that person for a lot less money than this.

[19:34] Georgina Mulligan: Trust me.

[19:34] Oliver Mulligan: Well, that's not how we raised you, Oliver Mulligan.

[19:38] Georgina Mulligan: Well, that's how I turned out, Georgina Mulligan.

[19:41] Oliver Mulligan: This could give us our own life back, Ma.

[19:44] Georgina Mulligan: Isn't that what he would have wanted for us?

[19:46] Oliver Mulligan: Or at least for you.

[19:47] Georgina Mulligan: Your father?

[19:48] Oliver Mulligan: Brady Mulligan?

[19:51] Georgina Mulligan: Don't make me laugh.

[19:52] Oliver Mulligan: No, not at all.

[19:54] Georgina Mulligan: No good lying fast.

[19:56] Oliver Mulligan: Okay, true, but isn't that even more reason to do it?

[20:00] Georgina Mulligan: You get that last laugh.

[20:02] Oliver Mulligan: And I'm talking a million dollar belly laugh.

[20:05] Georgina Mulligan: Give me my phone, Ollie.

[20:08] Oliver Mulligan: It's starting to stink around here.

[20:10] Georgina Mulligan: And I swear I don't know if it's your daddy or you.

[20:12] Oliver Mulligan: It's the stink of poverty, and I smell it on all of us.

[20:16] Georgina Mulligan: I should have never told you that you get all that money if he died at work.

[20:20] Oliver Mulligan: I should have just mailed you the check.

[20:22] Georgina Mulligan: Why did you?

[20:23] Oliver Mulligan: Why did you tell me?

[20:24] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't know where to mail it.

[20:27] Oliver Mulligan: Jesus, what was I thinking?

[20:30] Georgina Mulligan: I think you knew.

[20:31] Oliver Mulligan: I think you knew exactly what you were doing.

[20:34] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[20:35] Oliver Mulligan: That's why you sent me to look for it.

[20:37] Georgina Mulligan: You knew.

[20:38] Oliver Mulligan: How could I know you'd want to move your father's dead body around town?

[20:42] Georgina Mulligan: For God's sake, we're not doing a pub crawl.

[20:45] Oliver Mulligan: It's three miles down the street.

[20:46] Georgina Mulligan: Greedy is another one of the seven deadly sins, Oliver.

[20:49] Oliver Mulligan: I know.

[20:50] Georgina Mulligan: Gluttony, greed, lust, wrath, sloth, envy, pride.

[20:55] Oliver Mulligan: Wait, there's one more.

[20:57] Georgina Mulligan: What is it?

[20:58] Oliver Mulligan: It's poverty.

[20:59] Georgina Mulligan: And here in the city of Lost Angels, only the poor are punished for it.

[21:03] Oliver Mulligan: Have you no moral compass?

[21:07] Georgina Mulligan: Since he was kicking me out on the street tonight, my moral GPS may not be working.

[21:11] Oliver Mulligan: Especially since I didn't know where the hell I was going to end up after I was thrown out.

[21:15] Oliver Mulligan: I would have never let him throw you out.

[21:17] Georgina Mulligan: My box is stacked by the door tell a different story.

[21:19] Oliver Mulligan: You are going to get $50,000, Ollie, and you still want to.

[21:24] Georgina Mulligan: Why are you acting so daft?

[21:26] Oliver Mulligan: Doesn't everyone want more money, Mother? I know you do.

[21:30] Oliver Mulligan: Give me five minutes. If you don't want me to do it after that, I'll call the coroner.

[21:35] Georgina Mulligan: I swear to God.

[21:37] Oliver Mulligan: The atheist is swearing to God. That's the problem, Oliver. That's your damn problem. You don't believe in anything.

[21:44] Oliver Mulligan: Okay, then I swear on Daddy's grave.

[21:47] Georgina Mulligan: On Daddy's grave. He's not in his grave yet.

[21:50] Oliver Mulligan: Because you won't give me my phone to call the coroner. Give me five minutes. And if we do it, I'll stay for good.

[21:56] Georgina Mulligan: You are wasting your breath. You always said daddy dragged us down to this hellhole after he gambled our beautiful house away that your father built.

[22:07] Georgina Mulligan: And you know I have nothing against these poor people down here. It's just that I grew up in Hancock Park, and now look at us. Living hand to mouth.

[22:16] Georgina Mulligan: He put us here with all his lies and mendacity. But that's all in the past. Since I got saved and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I forgave him for gambling away the house my father built.

[22:42] Oliver Mulligan: Did you? Really? I mean, really.

[22:45] Georgina Mulligan: I did. I really did. Thank you very much.

[22:51] Georgina Mulligan: Listen. Maybe the two of us can pool our insurance money and get a little house in Hancock Park together.

[23:00] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, please, Mother. Maybe a two-bedroom condo in Hancock Park adjacent, adjacent, which is Koreatown.

[23:08] Oliver Mulligan: That money will be gone in two years, tops. Think about it. You're not gonna have daddy's income anymore from the video store to fall back on.

[23:15] Georgina Mulligan: Well, why don't you run it? I mean, you can run it.

[23:17] Oliver Mulligan: You want me to run a video store? What is this, 1998? Plus, you know I'm trying to finish writing my novel. And it's hard to create great work when you have to work.

[23:29] Georgina Mulligan: You don't even like saying that word, do you? Work.

[23:33] Oliver Mulligan: You make it sound like a four-letter word.

[23:36] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, it is a four-letter word. Mother, none of the great writers had to deal with poverty and try to be brilliant at the same time. I mean, I know Fitzgerald, but dare I say I fall somewhere between Danielle Steele and Paris Hilton.

[23:49] Oliver Mulligan: Paris Hilton is an author?

[23:50] Georgina Mulligan: Yes! See what I'm saying? I'm not blaming you, Mother. But but what? Don't you think we've suffered enough for your poor marital choice?

[24:03] Georgina Mulligan: When I met him, he owned two video stores. After we were married, with my help, we had opened ten blockbusters. Ten! He was king of the world, or rather, Ramsey's and I was his nepitari.

[24:20] Georgina Mulligan: But then came Netflix. And those damn little red envelopes delivered to every door. Like the red plague in Exodus, killing our business. Then, just like he did in the Bible, God took away our kingdom, and now my firstborn.

[24:40] Oliver Mulligan: What I'm hearing is that you've been living his dream and he gambled yours away.

[24:44] Georgina Mulligan: That's exactly what happened. You know I danced a part of Yes, the part of Bluebird.

[24:50] Oliver Mulligan: Firebird.

[24:51] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, yes, firebird. I meant firebird. All those years with your own potential, bottled like a shaking soda pop.

[25:01] Oliver Mulligan: Like a caged bird.

[25:02] Georgina Mulligan: Caged bird, yes. That's a much better metaphor. A caged firebird. Now you are free to fly away in first class and not in coach.

[25:13] Oliver Mulligan: Hey, I bet your sister doesn't even have to fly a coach.

[25:18] Georgina Mulligan: Only coach she knows is the one that hangs from her arm. Don't you at least deserve to fly business class?

[25:24] Oliver Mulligan: At least. I know it's a horrible thing to say. Look around. There's nobody here but us three. And he ain't listening.

[25:31] Georgina Mulligan: Ollie, I never envisioned myself being not rich. Does that make sense? I just wasn't prepared for this. I just don't identify with not being rich. Does that make sense?

[25:48] Oliver Mulligan: It most certainly does. And neither do I, mother. You know what we are, mother? We're trans affluent.

[25:56] Georgina Mulligan: Hmm? Trans what?

[25:58] Oliver Mulligan: You know how you have your transgenders, people whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex, right?

[26:06] Georgina Mulligan: If you say so.

[26:08] Oliver Mulligan: I don't say so. That's what they say. They feel like they belong to the opposite of what they are. Isn't that us? Isn't that us, damn it?

[26:16] Georgina Mulligan: No. No, not at all.

[26:18] Oliver Mulligan: Yes, it is. Listen, we feel like we belong with affluent people, and we don't identify with being poor, so we are trans affluents.

[26:28] Georgina Mulligan: You just made that nonsense up.

[26:32] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, but somebody said they were transracial. You remember that lady?

[26:36] Georgina Mulligan: Yes.

[26:37] Oliver Mulligan: Now that's a thing. Transracial. She came out white as cotton, got some cornrows, a spray tan, said she was black and got a Netflix special. So why can't we be trans affluent?

[26:48] Georgina Mulligan: Well, I guess, but what I'm trying to say is that look, I go to church and I was saved. I took care of our sick mother until the end. I was a devoted wife. I tried to be a good mother. Didn't I try? Don't I deserve something more than nothing?

[27:05] Oliver Mulligan: People don't get what they deserve, mother.

[27:07] Georgina Mulligan: True.

[27:08] Oliver Mulligan: Yes. People don't get what they deserve.

[27:12] Georgina Mulligan: God knows that's true.

[27:14] Oliver Mulligan: Wait. What do you mean?

[27:17] Georgina Mulligan: You get what you can get away with getting. And that has nothing to do with what you deserve.

[27:22] Oliver Mulligan: You think the black people picking cotton deserve to be slaves?

[27:25] Georgina Mulligan: No.

[27:25] Oliver Mulligan: No, is right. But guess what?

[27:27] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[27:27] Oliver Mulligan: The cotton sure got picked, didn't it? But moving your father's dead body. It's it's just wrong.

[27:33] Georgina Mulligan: Let me tell you something. That cotton got picked and right and wrong didn't have nothing to say about it. So maybe it's the wrong thing to do at the right time.

[27:43] Oliver Mulligan: You sound like a fortune cookie.

[27:46] Georgina Mulligan: What does that mean?

[27:48] Oliver Mulligan: I don't know, but I do know you've done the right thing all your life. Maybe we can do something wrong just once.

[27:57] Georgina Mulligan: Well, I do wrong stuff all the time, but you could do it once and get our old lifestyle back. No one's going to give it to us.

[28:05] Oliver Mulligan: You are talking insurance fraud. They'll do an investigation. I mean, just because you are used to jail doesn't mean I am.

[28:14] Georgina Mulligan: I'm familiar with jail. I'm not yet used to it, Mother.

[28:18] Oliver Mulligan: I'm sorry, Oliver. I can't put a price on my freedom.

[28:22] Georgina Mulligan: I can. And I'm looking at the number. It's $150,000. Maybe we could pool our money and buy a really nice place together in Hancock Park. I'm sure one of those old bidies over there is about to kick the bucket. We could get a nice deal.

[28:36] Oliver Mulligan: Together?

[28:37] Georgina Mulligan: Together forever. With this kind of money.

[28:42] Oliver Mulligan: It's all so sudden. And I know it's wrong, but he is dead.

[28:48] Georgina Mulligan: I agree. He is most certainly dead. What does he care, right? He literally could not care less.

[28:54] Oliver Mulligan: If I only had a sign from God.

[28:57] Georgina Mulligan: Seriously? You want God to call you on your cell phone and say, Georgina, you got this. Oh, he works in mysterious ways. I need to pray.

[29:05] Oliver Mulligan: No, better yet. What are you doing?

[29:08] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, please don't get my own Ouija board. I need advice from our ancestors on the other side.

[29:15] Oliver Mulligan: You barrel to your phone when your ancestors on this side call you.

[29:18] Georgina Mulligan: I don't always recognize the number.

[29:20] Oliver Mulligan: Does this Ouija board come with the caller ID?

[29:22] Georgina Mulligan: Put your fingertips on. Don't cheat.

[29:25] Oliver Mulligan: Okay. Now shut up.

[29:27] Georgina Mulligan: Me or the Ouija board.

[29:28] Oliver Mulligan: Hush.

[29:29] Georgina Mulligan: Ouija board. Are you ready to begin? Give me a sign. Give me a sign. Give me a sign.

[29:43] Oliver Mulligan: It's a sign.

[29:45] Georgina Mulligan: Oh my god. Oh, Jesus! I need to. It's not the father or his son. It's Uncle Todd.

[29:51] Oliver Mulligan: Why in the hell is he calling your father? Let it go to voicemail. Put it back in your father's pocket.

[29:59] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, look at these. God bless him.

[30:01] Oliver Mulligan: What's that?

[30:02] Georgina Mulligan: It's his lotto tickets. I guess today wasn't his lucky day.

[30:07] Oliver Mulligan: Oh God. Who is this?

[30:11] Georgina Mulligan: It's Helen.

[30:12] Oliver Mulligan: What does she want? Are you gonna answer it?

[30:15] Georgina Mulligan: Lord. Then you can't get her off the phone. Daddy, I'll have rig of mortars by the time she finishes yipping and yapping.

[30:23] Georgina Mulligan: Hey, Helen. I'm downstairs. Todd just dropped me off. Let me in before I have to make somebody.

[30:32] Georgina Mulligan: Helen, now is not.

[30:35] Oliver Mulligan: Your neighbor's coming out.

[30:36] Georgina Mulligan: Hi.

[30:37] Oliver Mulligan: Hello. Have we met? Are you visiting someone?

[30:42] Georgina Mulligan: You see, I have to be very careful why that is.

[30:45] Oliver Mulligan: I understand. Yes, my sister.

[30:47] Georgina Mulligan: What now?

[30:53] Helen: Hello. This is Helen. And it's a great day to be alive.

[31:01] Oliver Mulligan: She's on her way up. Well, apparently the only sign Oliver needs to see is a big fat money sign.

[31:23] Narrator: And will Georgina's ancestors give her a sign, or have they blocked her number? Well, only two things will tell. Time and episode two of Dead Wait: A Journey in Afro-Existentialism.