This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Leah Walsh: Hi, and welcome to The Compass, the podcast documenting the struggles of life as an artist.

[0:05] Leah Walsh: I'm Leah Walsh.

[0:07] Leah Walsh: Hi guys, I'm so happy to be back post-holidays.

[0:10] Leah Walsh: I have some wonderful artists lined up to be guests on the podcast over the next month.

[0:15] Leah Walsh: Um to be honest with you, I was hoping to be back last week.

[0:18] Leah Walsh: Um I was really excited for the new year, but I ended up coming down with bronchitis pretty much on New Year's Day.

[0:24] Leah Walsh: So that had me down for a while.

[0:26] Leah Walsh: I don't know about you, but I get really angry when I'm sick.

[0:29] Leah Walsh: I know it's not a big deal, but I just get frustrated that I'm not at 100% and I can't be productive.

[0:34] Leah Walsh: Um, and I basically don't have control over the way my body's feeling.

[0:37] Leah Walsh: So I missed out on that hopeful driven first week of the new year.

[0:42] Leah Walsh: So I am starting over this week.

[0:44] Leah Walsh: This is my New Year's week, and I'm excited to uh do all those things that I missed.

[0:49] Leah Walsh: And I'm also excited to evaluate the podcast and see what I've been doing and how I can change it and improve it.

[0:54] Leah Walsh: So happy new year.

[0:56] Leah Walsh: My guest today is Joel Rainwater.

[0:58] Leah Walsh: He is a fantastic actor who I've looked up to ever since we went to the University of Evansville together.

[1:03] Leah Walsh: He is such a thoughtful, intelligent, and witty person.

[1:06] Leah Walsh: We did a version of Uncle Vanya together called Drunkle Vanya a year and a half ago, and we're currently revamping it for a short run in a few weeks, which you'll hear about.

[1:16] Leah Walsh: I couldn't be happier to be working with him again and to speak with him on the podcast.

[1:20] Leah Walsh: I hope you enjoy the 17th episode of The Compass.

[1:35] Leah Walsh: Thank you so much for talking with me, Joel.

[1:37] Joel Rainwater: Thank you for having me.

[1:39] Leah Walsh: So, what is the dark side for you as an artist and how do you try to stay out of it?

[1:45] Joel Rainwater: Well, um, you know, I don't always try to stay out of it, which uh uh is both good and bad, but I think for me, the dark side consists of just really intense doubt, um, which I feel like it does for actors in general, just because the nature of what we do is always so in flux, but sometimes I also sort of you know the dark side as the Star Wars will tell you is very powerful.

[2:19] Joel Rainwater: Sometimes you actually need to access it for a minute.

[2:21] Joel Rainwater: And so like the other day I had this terrible I had a terrible meeting um with an agency, and I just went home and I just lie I was in bed in the afternoon, and I just let myself like drift to all the furthest darkest regions where I'm just like this it is terrible, I don't have anything to offer, um, I'm never really gonna get there.

[2:52] Joel Rainwater: And then I sometimes find that once you let yourself go to those places, you can sort of suss out what is true and what is false about it.

[3:00] Joel Rainwater: Right, you know, because you're like, well, obviously it everything's okay.

[3:06] Joel Rainwater: And obviously I've had some measure of success, and that's not gonna stop just because of one setback.

[3:14] Joel Rainwater: And you know, and then you get you gotta you sometimes you the dark side will give you like a chip on your shoulder that is actually sort of helpful, or that the dark side will give you uh something to to like struggle against, you know.

[3:32] Joel Rainwater: But you can't go there uh whole hog all the time, because otherwise you'll just die of sadness.

[3:38] Leah Walsh: So when you're not using it to your advantage like that, uh do you have any like practical ways that you try to keep things in perspective in the day-to-day?

[3:47] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, I mean, I try and not just uh if I find myself like sitting idly in my apartment for too long, um, in a robe I'll be like, wait a minute.

[4:06] Joel Rainwater: Uh I can combat this, you know, and go outside.

[4:09] Leah Walsh: Just go outside.

[4:10] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[4:11] Joel Rainwater: And you know, uh I'm I I'm really tied to like my own uh physicality in terms of like things so like I'm always like moving around, I'm like always at the gym.

[4:25] Joel Rainwater: I'm always and not just because of uh uh vanity or anything like that.

[4:32] Joel Rainwater: It's just really I feel like it's it's hard to stay miserable if you're physically active.

[4:38] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[4:39] Joel Rainwater: Um and so I like I hit a heavy bag, and you know, y you just if you do that for 40 minutes, you just can't stay in the head.

[4:49] Joel Rainwater: You know, you're just like, oh look, it's all gone.

[4:52] Joel Rainwater: I punched it out.

[4:55] Leah Walsh: Um, and I know you've been working for a while on this uh one play that you take around, right?

[5:01] Leah Walsh: That you've been touring with and you just performed it in New York.

[5:05] Leah Walsh: Um what have you been juggling recently as far as like income and finding a way to pay all your bills as an actor?

[5:13] Leah Walsh: Is that kind of been the solution for you, or have you been juggling a bunch of day jobs too?

[5:17] Joel Rainwater: Well, I mean, for the last two and a half years, all I've done is this play.

[5:25] Joel Rainwater: The same play.

[5:26] Joel Rainwater: The same play.

[5:27] Joel Rainwater: So I was part of this um show called The Great Divorce, which is based on a C. S. Lewis book.

[5:34] Joel Rainwater: And uh which started as a I thought it was gonna be a workshop.

[5:40] Joel Rainwater: Um because that's sort of how they sold it and and so we I uh and I was really happy to have that workshop.

[5:46] Joel Rainwater: I was like, six weeks of work.

[5:48] Joel Rainwater: Awesome.

[5:50] Joel Rainwater: Uh it slowly became clear to me over the course that we were developing the project that it was going to tour, and they had always sort of planned for that to happen.

[6:00] Joel Rainwater: Um that if the room gelled the right way during rehearsals, and it did, and um they had had another C. S. Lewis property called the Screwtape Letters that they had also toured um and is still ongoing um to this day.

[6:17] Joel Rainwater: So C. S. Lewis.

[6:18] Joel Rainwater: C. S. Lewis.

[6:19] Joel Rainwater: Yes, he is a popular guy.

[6:20] Joel Rainwater: People come out for that.

[6:22] Joel Rainwater: And so uh once we realized that was happening, we I thought, okay, we'll we're gonna tour for six months, and then we toured for another six months, and it just kept going and kept going.

[6:34] Joel Rainwater: We would have some breaks, but it was never a break.

[6:37] Joel Rainwater: I had one break where I did um a show with you, and then I had another break where I did another show out of town, you know, that was like we we were off for you know eight weeks or something at one point, um, before we revamped for New York and I left town to do a show then.

[6:56] Joel Rainwater: But other than that, and we just closed um on the 3rd of January.

[7:01] Joel Rainwater: So that has been my job until the last week.

[7:07] Leah Walsh: Is it is it?

[7:08] Leah Walsh: It's done for the foreseeable future, it might ramp up again later, but we have no uh uh guarantees, and so I can't complain.

[7:15] Joel Rainwater: It's been a good wow.

[7:17] Joel Rainwater: It's been a good run.

[7:18] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[7:19] Leah Walsh: What was that like?

[7:20] Leah Walsh: Like sustaining that kind of um just working on one project for that long.

[7:24] Leah Walsh: What kind of obstacles did you run into as far as like keeping creative and um and also like traveling away from home so much?

[7:33] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, well, the again part of the reason the the gig was so great was because it was weekends almost entirely.

[7:41] Joel Rainwater: We had a couple of instances where like we were in DC for three weeks, or we'd go to Phoenix for two weeks or something, you know, we'd have some extended stays, but mostly we would go to Nashville for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or you know, Kansas City for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, wherever it was.

[8:03] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, yeah.

[8:04] Joel Rainwater: Uh and but that's also great because we got to come back here, and you know, you're paid for the week, so it's not like uh I you didn't really have to scramble after that to um find other work.

[8:18] Joel Rainwater: It would have been really hard for me to have another uh dependable source of income because of the touring schedule, but um but it was you know the the gig paid well done well enough to where that wasn't a problem, and again, that was also part of why it was so great.

[8:38] Joel Rainwater: And one of the things that I did was I always tried to since I don't have kids, it was really easy for me to say, Well, I'm gonna stay like an extra day in this city or take the red eye um on the other end of the the last day we're there to try and experience it.

[8:58] Joel Rainwater: Because I really love traveling.

[8:59] Leah Walsh: That's cool.

[9:00] Joel Rainwater: So I would stay like we were in Portland and I said, I don't know the next time I'm gonna be in Portland and so I just traveled really late the day that we were supposed to leave and stayed in town and saw all the stuff.

[9:14] Joel Rainwater: Or I would try and come in town a little early.

[9:17] Joel Rainwater: Or we had a California swing where we were in LA and then San Francisco and I just drove up the coast, you know.

[9:24] Joel Rainwater: Um so that is really

[9:24] Leah Walsh: Did you get to see a lot of friends?

[9:27] Joel Rainwater: Yes.

[9:28] Joel Rainwater: Across the country.

[9:29] Joel Rainwater: I did.

[9:30] Joel Rainwater: It was really great.

[9:31] Joel Rainwater: Friends and family.

[9:31] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[9:31] Joel Rainwater: Family I didn't even remember having.

[9:35] Joel Rainwater: Come out of the woodwork to see you in the C. S. Lewis button.

[9:39] Joel Rainwater: Definitely.

[9:40] Leah Walsh: It was pretty cool.

[9:41] Leah Walsh: And how I know your wife is an actor too.

[9:43] Leah Walsh: How how was that for you guys?

[9:45] Leah Walsh: Having dealing with long distance.

[9:48] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[9:49] Joel Rainwater: We for the longest time she was the one leaving all the time.

[9:55] Joel Rainwater: Mm-hmm.

[9:56] Joel Rainwater: And you know, we kind of got good at it in a sense, and we'd be really good about setting limits for how long we're willing to go without seeing each other.

[10:07] Joel Rainwater: Um and I think w we at one point we're like, anything over five weeks is untenable.

[10:13] Joel Rainwater: Like we have to figure out a way to see each other.

[10:17] Joel Rainwater: And so we we uh pretty much abided by that rule.

[10:21] Joel Rainwater: Uh and I would always come out to wherever she was, or if I was somewhere she would come out to where I was.

[10:27] Joel Rainwater: Um and you know, you can get good at it, but you don't wanna get too good at it.

[10:32] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[10:33] Joel Rainwater: Because you don't want your marriage to consist of being really um accustomed to being apart from one another, you know.

[10:40] Leah Walsh: But of course if you have the opportunity to work, you wanna

[10:40] Leah Walsh: Yeah, yeah.

[10:45] Leah Walsh: You wanna say yes.

[10:46] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[10:46] Joel Rainwater: Because it's not like we all have those overflowing in our hands, we get to pick and choose all the time.

[10:52] Joel Rainwater: Exactly.

[10:52] Joel Rainwater: And she has made the decision to stay in town more recently.

[10:57] Joel Rainwater: So she's not left so much uh in the last year.

[11:02] Joel Rainwater: She's about to leave again, of course, in the spring, but but we've had more time together recently than we've had in a long time, and that's been really nice.

[11:11] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[11:12] Leah Walsh: It's so good when it happens.

[11:14] Leah Walsh: I know um for a long time Frankie was always the one going out of town, and it was hard for both of us.

[11:20] Leah Walsh: But then last winter I went out of town for two months and he was like, This is terrible.

[11:25] Leah Walsh: I'm like, see.

[11:27] Leah Walsh: Now you're the one who has to be left at home.

[11:30] Leah Walsh: To wake up alone.

[11:31] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[11:33] Leah Walsh: Are you guys pretty attached to New York?

[11:35] Leah Walsh: Do you think you'll be here for the long term?

[11:37] Joel Rainwater: I it's so funny.

[11:38] Joel Rainwater: We had this conversation the other day.

[11:41] Joel Rainwater: I think most of what it is is sometimes we fantasize about having more space or a yard or access to a tree.

[11:51] Joel Rainwater: Yep.

[11:52] Joel Rainwater: And we like we'll sit down and fantasize about the things we could do and the places we could go, and we pretty much always just talk ourselves right back into staying in New York.

[12:03] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[12:04] Joel Rainwater: Because the opportunities that we've both have have had here over she's been here ten years, I've been here eight, um, have just been so much better than what we feel like we could get elsewhere.

[12:21] Joel Rainwater: And of course, the other option is like, well, let's just stop acting and find something else.

[12:26] Joel Rainwater: And then, you know, that's a pretty scary void to look into sometimes.

[12:33] Joel Rainwater: And ultimately, I just don't think I want to do that.

[12:37] Joel Rainwater: I think I'm a lifer one way or another, even if it ends up being teaching.

[12:41] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[12:41] Joel Rainwater: Um, I do kind of think I'm a lifer.

[12:44] Joel Rainwater: She has more skills than I do.

[12:47] Joel Rainwater: Um she's more uh she's just better at um being employed and having a variet a more of a variety of interests and things that she could do for money.

[13:00] Joel Rainwater: And I have like three.

[13:04] Joel Rainwater: So um yeah, that's an interesting question to pose to yourself.

[13:10] Joel Rainwater: Like, what would I do if I would just stopped pursuing this?

[13:14] Joel Rainwater: Because we've all been doing it for so long.

[13:16] Joel Rainwater: It kind of feels like a a treadmill sometimes.

[13:20] Joel Rainwater: You're like, oh, there is that stop button there.

[13:23] Joel Rainwater: I guess I could just push it. And then I also wonder, but I don't know what I would do either. Yeah, and then of course I have these moments where I'm like, do I love it as much as I say I do? And or am I just so used to it that I can't really see my way into any other thing. Well, that's the hard part, is like I'm sure you do love it as much as you do when you're getting to do it. But it's the tiring part where you're trying to get the opportunity to do it. That's exhausting. So hard.

[13:54] Leah Walsh: Yeah. Um, what does your family make of your artistic lifestyle?

[14:02] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. Well, I'm from Dallas, Texas, and it's weird. When I was growing up, I obviously had like an overactive imagination and all this energy, and I was constantly adorning costumes and creating like, you know, these worlds of make believe. And someone actually said to me at one point, like I think they were just trying to direct my energy towards something else other than hitting things with a sword in the house, and they were saying, you know, you can do this in school if you want to. And I was like, what? I didn't understand what they were getting at. And they're like, yeah, you can do drama. And you can—how old were you? I think pretty young, like, you know, nine or ten, something like that.

And then I did start doing that, and it provided the outlet that I think that people were at, you know, that I needed that it was it was a new kind of identity, a new kind of thing that I was discovering that was also that was fun and both really creatively energizing. Even, you know, I was probably 13, 14 when I started really getting into that in school. And then of course I wanted to do it all the time, and then when it started to come toward colleges, and everyone's like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I you know, that was all fine and good. That's a nice thing. I was like, this is your fault, folks, for trying to, you know, get me out of the house.

[15:45] Leah Walsh: And so no one else in your family pursues any like artistic kind of career?

[15:51] Joel Rainwater: Not really. My brother is a sometime musician, and a drummer. And so he's had, you know, bands and stuff throughout the years, but he is sort of very artistically minded, but not really in terms of pursuing it like a career. And my sisters both did stuff like that. You know, they're just very well-rounded and had those experiences in school, but never, no, never, never you know, just whole hog like I did. Um and so my parents were obviously very scared and my father was certainly just confused. Like I don't know what this is. Um my mother was always really supportive I think she really loved the idea that I was doing something like that.

[16:54] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[16:55] Joel Rainwater: And she was, you know, eventually really supportive when they realized that I did kind of have a plan of how I was going to go about this. But now my father will come to a play and he'll have like really insightful things to say. Because he's been forced to see so much stuff. It's like, yeah, I thought that was really evocative of Beckett. I'm like, whoa, yeah.

[17:21] Leah Walsh: Do they have they or did your mom get to come see a lot of the stuff that you did when you were in San Francisco or like—

[17:21] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, uh, was it hard since Texas is kind of obviously far away? They came to a lot of stuff at Evansville. Mm-hmm. They did come to some stuff in San Francisco, and um the last trip my mother ever made before she passed a couple years ago was to see that first workshop production of The Great Divorce.

[17:54] Leah Walsh: Oh really.

[17:54] Joel Rainwater: Um because she was a big C.S. Lewis fan and she was just really excited about the fact that that interest of hers was melding with my interests, and so she did get to see it. Um yeah, they saw a lot of stuff, but some stuff I would just say, hey don't come out for this.

[18:14] Leah Walsh: Right, save your money. This one's not my favorite.

[18:19] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. So right now, since you and I are working on reviving this production of Drunk Avania that we did a year and a half ago. What uh you are playing the drunk Avania in this crazy bar set version of the play. What was that like for you to work on that part and what is it like now to try to throw it back together? In other words, we're gonna be doing a three-night limited run in a couple of weeks. You know, that's always one of those parts that you look at and think, in twenty odd years I will be great at that. Uh and since our production has sort of um younged it or aged it down a little bit, it's you know, the perfect opportunity to try and tackle it now.

[19:07] Leah Walsh: And it is really weird how easily I can find access to that part of someone who's sort of uh self-loathing and uh feels like they've missed a lot of opportunities and um just feels like some aspect of life has already passed them by.

[19:26] Joel Rainwater: Uh you know, I can tend, as I've said, toward darkness and bitterness and and it's actually really great to find a role where um you can access those things in a creative way and not just in a way that is uh that is uh makes you miserable. Um and I think that's really it was just really it didn't take a lot in all honesty to to approach that. I just kinda get him, I think.

[19:58] Leah Walsh: I'm excited we get to do it again.

[20:00] Joel Rainwater: Me too. Um the show that I just worked on, the one that was about the Donner Party.

[20:05] Leah Walsh: Yeah that everybody on the podcast has heard all about um was kind of interesting in that same way. There was a scene that was literally like a life or death situation and I just found it really fun as an actor, first of all to work on 'cause the stakes literally couldn't get any higher, but also just really satisfying like you said, to be able to go to those dark places in a useful, like creative way that was satisfying in the end and then come out of it unscathed on the other side.

[20:34] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[20:35] Leah Walsh: That's great. It's great when you can play with the emotions like that and then not have to be responsible for them later on.

[20:42] Joel Rainwater: Which I think you have to learn. I mean I know I did some work when I was younger where I definitely accessed like certain parts of myself or like used parts of my life in an unhealthy way that was hard to shake afterwards but it's part of those skills I guess we got to do it.

[20:56] Leah Walsh: Yeah that is one of the weird things you have to learn.

[20:59] Joel Rainwater: To take care of yourself.

[21:00] Leah Walsh: Yeah, to take care of yourself, exactly.

[21:02] Joel Rainwater: And that you are you actually have to be responsible to your castmates too for whatever uh vitriol you're you're um digging into.

[21:11] Leah Walsh: Well, especially if you're gonna wind up doing a play for two years.

[21:15] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, yeah. You can't treat yourself the same way as you might if you're only doing it for two weeks.

[21:20] Leah Walsh: Not at all. Which I'm sure we all learned in college after a while. Are there any places in the city that you like to go when you're feeling kind of sapped creatively and you need to be re-energized or re-inspired?

[21:33] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, I mean so I used to when I lived in Washington Heights, I would always go to Fort Tryon Park um because I just felt like you know you it felt like I had a little corner of the city that was wooded that was like all my own, you know, and it was pretty easy to find seclusion there.

[21:59] Leah Walsh: Yeah, that's a beautiful park.

[22:01] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, I used to run through there and uh now that I no longer live there, um and don't have access to a park immediately. I mean I walk my neighborhood in Sunnyside because there's a lot of um Sunnyside Gardens has this whole canopy of trees. That's really beautiful um that I will just wind my way through.

[22:24] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[22:24] Joel Rainwater: Uh and there are a couple smaller parks that I will walk through. That's the one thing that Astoria and Sunnyside is missing for me is more parks.

[22:32] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[22:32] Joel Rainwater: I just wish they were more accessible. Because if you want that kind of experience right away, uh getting on a train seems—I know I'm gonna go to Central. Even if it's only a fifteen minute.

[22:46] Leah Walsh: Yeah, because you have to bookend your park trip with train trips, and it's a little—it ruins it.

[22:51] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. But uh so I do walk uh the neighborhood. Sometimes I'll walk Queens, um, because I it's so expansive and I know it so well that sometimes I will just wander, I'll wander up to Astoria and back down from the Sunnyside. And I love I love walking. Claire and I actually walk a lot too.

[23:13] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[23:13] Joel Rainwater: I feel like you um you know at some point there's only so much productive thinking you can get done if you're just sitting still and looking each other in the eyes as a couple, but if you're walking, you're actually like engaging a different part of your body and also your mind, and you end up doing a lot of productive talking, I think. But other than you know that I'll go to a play.

[23:37] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[23:38] Joel Rainwater: Or the movies. I do love going to the movies alone.

[23:42] Leah Walsh: Oh god, it's I think it's so nice.

[23:44] Joel Rainwater: It's the best. Or I'll go to a matinee and I'll sneak in like an egg and cheese sandwich.

[23:48] Leah Walsh: Yeah, or a beer.

[23:49] Joel Rainwater: Or a beer in the morning. Just splendid.

[23:54] Leah Walsh: No, I agree with that. Um, has there been any shows you've seen recently that you would like to recommend?

[24:01] Joel Rainwater: Uh yeah, it all took place before the new year because I was uh I was rehearsing and performing for the last two months, but uh Fool for Love was terrific.

[24:14] Leah Walsh: I missed it.

[24:15] Joel Rainwater: Oh man. I wish I had seen it. That stuff was good.

[24:19] Leah Walsh: Uh what is the Pinter one that was at American Airlines with Clive Owen?

[24:26] Joel Rainwater: Oh my goodness. Uh old times.

[24:29] Leah Walsh: Old times, yeah.

[24:30] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. I love Pinter. And uh that one was really good.

[24:34] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[24:35] Joel Rainwater: And then I saw Mercury Fur.

[24:39] Leah Walsh: Did you hear about this show?

[24:41] Joel Rainwater: No.

[24:41] Leah Walsh: It's a really profoundly messed up, violent, uh disturbing show.

[24:49] Joel Rainwater: But also sort of worth seeing for those reasons. I like to see I it's one of those things I always think that that's the sort of thing I want to be a part of. Like I want to be a part of something that's really edgy. And then you see it and you're like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I want to be a part. But that show was really um for what it was, which was sort of a poetic piece of uh post-apocalyptic violence.

[25:13] Leah Walsh: Where was that?

[25:14] Joel Rainwater: It was at the signature, but uh it was another company in one of the smaller spaces that all took place in an abandoned uh house um in the end times. And uh it was really messed up. And and it's hard to sit the it's it's also like to test your limits as an audience member when you sit there and you're like, I can do this. I can but some people just got up and left.

[25:42] Leah Walsh: I'm sure.

[25:42] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. But it was fascinating and and effective, and I think it had a lot of mixed reviews.

[25:49] Leah Walsh: Do you are you a writer? Do you find that um I know as an outlet?

[25:54] Joel Rainwater: Um I used to write that's almost when I say I used to write poetry.

[26:02] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[26:02] Joel Rainwater: Uh and I did that a lot. And I don't do that anymore for whatever reason. Um, but now I'm starting to write more. I've I have a um oh a little web series with our dear friend Stephen Plunkett.

[26:21] Leah Walsh: You do?

[26:21] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, it's a comedy web series. It's it's uh it's like a um weekend update for sports.

[26:27] Leah Walsh: How long has this been going on?

[26:28] Joel Rainwater: Well, we've all we only did four episodes and then we both got really busy. Um he's very successful and busy as you know, and so he's all he's uh we both just the last um several months have not been able to do it at all. But we did four of them and it's just he and I sitting at an anchor table basically recapping sports in a funny.

[26:49] Joel Rainwater: Oh I can't wait to see that.

[26:50] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[26:50] Joel Rainwater: What's it called?

[26:51] Leah Walsh: Where can we?

[26:51] Joel Rainwater: It's called The Perfect Spiral.

[26:53] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[26:54] Joel Rainwater: Uh they're on YouTube and our Twitter handle is at Spiral Perfect, I think.

[27:02] Joel Rainwater: But I you know, we were just sitting around joking about sports one day and he was like, We should write a comedic, you know That's awesome. You know, like sports are so self serious and um sanctimonious and really uh uh it's just so easy to mock sports and particularly sports reporting and I think that's what we've tried to do.

[27:26] Leah Walsh: People talk about it so much.

[27:27] Joel Rainwater: Yes. So much and it's it doesn't deserve the uh that much attention. I mean I love I love sports, but but I e even I'm like, this is ridiculous, guys. Um and so I think we were trying to sort of uh poke holes in that paradigm.

[27:41] Joel Rainwater: And he kinda had the idea and he said he would film it and edit it if I would write it. And so I write the episodes and then we do them together.

[27:51] Joel Rainwater: And it's funny because I can't tell you how many times you sit down with friends and you go, We should write something. And you just never ever, ever do.

[28:00] Leah Walsh: This one we did.

[28:01] Joel Rainwater: That's amazing. And it was mostly just for fun, but then we started showing it to friends, and they're like, This is actually pretty good. So I hope I hope we'll be able to do more of those now that we're both, I think, about to have some more free time.

[28:12] Leah Walsh: That's great that it's so specific too. I think that helps.

[28:14] Joel Rainwater: You can always just say, Oh, I want to do a web series with my best friend.

[28:19] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[28:20] Joel Rainwater: It's about best friends in an apartment.

[28:24] Leah Walsh: But to have like a really distinct structure and topic.

[28:28] Joel Rainwater: Yeah, it is helpful. I feel like would make it easier to tackle and make it a reality. And they're, you know, five minutes or less. So it's not it's not even a ton of work, quite frankly. But I'm I'm proud of them. I think they're fun.

[28:39] Leah Walsh: Have you ever tried playwriting?

[28:42] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. Um I've written several first acts of plays.

[28:48] Joel Rainwater: And then I just get disheartened and I quit. But I have one thing I've been working on for a long time. Um, kind of about uh the process of my mother's illness that I don't even know if it's ever going to see the light of day because it's kind of intensely personal, but I at least I I still enjoy writing it.

[29:10] Joel Rainwater: It's something I've been sort of writing and rewriting for a long time. And um I don't know if it's ever actually going to come to anything, but uh I do enjoy sitting down and creatively just having uh accessing that that uh experience and also uh having something else to do and to and to to write when I don't have anything else going on.

[29:37] Leah Walsh: Yeah, something that you have control over. Would that be something that does it have multiple characters or would it just be a good one?

[29:43] Joel Rainwater: No, it'd be great for you.

[29:46] Joel Rainwater: Uh if it ever is anything. And again, I don't know that it will be.

[29:51] Leah Walsh: Very cool. Do you have any other artistic things you just do as an outlet for yourself?

[29:58] Joel Rainwater: I do stand up sometimes.

[30:01] Leah Walsh: You do?

[30:02] Joel Rainwater: But I find that the pursuit of being a stand-up comic is even more depressing than the pursuit of being an actor.

[30:11] Joel Rainwater: And so I don't really think I can do both of those things. But sometimes someone someone will invite me to like sit in on uh a night that they're doing or host I've hosted um you know like an improv night where I was like the MC.

[30:29] Joel Rainwater: Uh and that's a ton of fun and again another thing to write for that that is um you know engages kind of a different part of your brain and and skill set. But I just don't I don't I haven't had the time recently to do that as much as I would like to.

[30:46] Leah Walsh: I'd like to try and get back out there.

[30:47] Joel Rainwater: And that's kind of cool because you can pursue it on your own.

[30:50] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[30:51] Joel Rainwater: Right? Or if you really wanted to you could go to an open mic and do it without anyone telling you telling you you can.

[30:56] Leah Walsh: Exactly the way with actors it happens so often.

[31:01] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. Um so now that this show's over are you gonna try to get back in the audition I mean I've already been um plugging away a little bit but uh it's hard because you know I when you are with a long term project like that which is you know obviously sort of rare you just get into this place where you're like well this is my job and then of course when it goes away, you you know, the it does feel like part of your identity is is uh a little bit assaulted because you don't you I have oh yeah that was my job for a while and now uh it's not but I'll you know I'll find something else.

[31:51] Joel Rainwater: Um but nothing aside from our little jaunt uh right now is on the horizon, so we'll see.

[31:59] Leah Walsh: How do you approach auditions? Do you have any ways that you try to make it a positive experience for yourself?

[32:06] Joel Rainwater: I'm still really bad at auditioning.

[32:08] Joel Rainwater: I find it so stressful. Uh and I'm always stunned when I book something.

[32:16] Joel Rainwater: I'm like, really? After all that. Uh it's I don't know. I I I'm also coaching a little bit right now.

[32:24] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[32:25] Joel Rainwater: And when I'm coaching, I feel like I'm able to tell people I'm able to give some really pretty decent advice on how to walk into the room and audition.

[32:36] Joel Rainwater: And then of course I can't follow that advice at all when I'm there and I I get uh unfocused and my like breath goes away and I ca I don't um but I really think and this is cliche, but I really think just trying to actually focus on the task at hand and putting your like if you're reading sides that you really do take a moment before you start and say, Who am I talking to? What's going on here?

[33:05] Joel Rainwater: And kind of plant yourself in the circumstances of the scene. I mean, that's really the only I don't know how to say like go in there and be relaxed and have fun. Because it's not relaxing and it's not fun at all.

[33:19] Leah Walsh: But isn't it funny how like we all know to do that, but when you are about to go in the room, your mind is running over like a million other things besides those things.

[33:29] Joel Rainwater: Yeah. And I like my heart's beating really fat. Why is my heart beating? Why is Mary? Why is my mouth dry? Who's that person sitting over there?

[33:36] Joel Rainwater: And I find that um I know some people who are able to go into the room and just be really charming. And for a while I was like, maybe I'll try and do that.

[33:45] Joel Rainwater: And of course, when I went into the room and tried to be really charming, I I came across like uh a blabbering psychopath, you know, and people are like, get him out of here.

[33:55] Joel Rainwater: So I don't I just feel like you can't force anything. You have to walk in and just try and be nice, cordial, professional, and then do your job. But I don't I don't always know how to do that.

[34:09] Leah Walsh: Um, do you have anything we might have already talked about it, but do you have any anything that you've done in the last couple years that you were really proud of that you want to mention?

[34:19] Joel Rainwater: It could be a a big thing or a little thing. I was really proud of it's weird, I was really proud of Drunkna and this company that we work with that does classic plays and bars.

[34:31] Joel Rainwater: Also the the I got to sub in for their Romeo and Juliet. Uh I think that work is always really great because it's so immediate when you are surrounded by like a a bar full of people, but they're actually watching a good performance and that they forget that they're in a bar.

[34:56] Joel Rainwater: And when it when it flips from being kind of a novelty into being something that's actually uh a good theater experience, and you can feel when it's happening too, uh is really incredible.

[35:11] Joel Rainwater: And I I've I've only really felt that with this company. It feels like you know did you ever see like um Too Much Light makes the baby go blind in Chicago.

[35:21] Leah Walsh: I did once.

[35:22] Joel Rainwater: You know, it feels like I'm never gonna get to do that but the the thing that we do with this company feels like as close as I'll get you know it has these elements of uh it's almost like a like a comedy sketch experience but through the prism of a classic play that actually maintains its story and themes give me one second I'm gonna pull it up on my phone so we can give a little shout out to these performances we're doing.

[35:51] Leah Walsh: Sure.

[35:52] Joel Rainwater: Um so if you want to come see Joel and I in Drunkelvania with three day hangover we're gonna be performing at uh January 21st through 23rd at 8 p.m up in Mamarin Mamerineck.

[36:06] Leah Walsh: Mamarinek New York you heard it.

[36:08] Joel Rainwater: Molly Spillane's pub um you can look up the three day hangover website for more information but if anyone wants to come up on Metro North and play with us it'll be a lot of fun.

[36:18] Leah Walsh: It'll be interesting to see the crowd.

[36:21] Joel Rainwater: It'll be so different. I have no idea in the city you know it was a bunch of young people and artists and Chekhov enthusiasts we'll see if the you know the Westchester middle aged white wine drinkers are into it.

[36:36] Joel Rainwater: I won't put it past them I have confidence in that in that crowd.

[36:39] Joel Rainwater: I think we'll have a lot of fun.

[36:41] Leah Walsh: Are there any uh like things that you turn to when you're going to the dark side uh you find yourself turning to it again and again, like a book or an album that you listen to over and over or something.

[36:51] Joel Rainwater: Something you reach for from your past.

[36:55] Joel Rainwater: I have there's this book of poems by a poet called Donald Hall, who was I think he was the poet laureate of these United States for a little while.

[37:07] Joel Rainwater: Um called The Painted Bed, which is it's really weird because it's a deeply sad, it's a really really sad uh book of poems about uh the death of his wife.

[37:20] Joel Rainwater: Um but there is this theme he knocks on a lot, which is about uh the fact that losing things is a an essential ongoing part of life.

[37:34] Joel Rainwater: And in fact, you end up losing everything because you will lose your life. And something about uh that perspective is really helpful for me.

[37:49] Joel Rainwater: And I think it's you know, uh obviously about making hay while the sun shines, but also about um helping to really contextualize your own bitching and moaning about the things in your life that aren't really that that much of a problem, and um about l loving the people that you love while while they're there.

[38:15] Leah Walsh: Yeah, there's a lot of books of poet. Poetry is really easy to just pull off the shelf and flip to a page and then be inspired by something, which I really I really like that.

[38:23] Joel Rainwater: Um I listen to music all the time, but sometimes I'll listen to like jazz or like Handel's Messiah, just to uh get out of the um confines of listening to something with lyrics.

[38:39] Joel Rainwater: I love stuff with lyrics and I'm always listening to my old standards like radio head, but but I I've recently been drawn to instrumental stuff because I feel like it helps you you can you can let it uh uh get into your thoughts and you could your thoughts sort of transform what the just the music plays.

[38:59] Joel Rainwater: It kind of makes everything seem a little more epic that you're doing too.

[39:02] Leah Walsh: Yes, I am washing dishes to a timpani solo. This is very important.

[39:07] Joel Rainwater: Yeah.

[39:09] Leah Walsh: Well, Joel, thank you so much for talking with me. I really appreciate it.

[39:11] Joel Rainwater: Thanks for having me. It's great.

[39:14] Leah Walsh: Thank you.

[39:26] Leah Walsh: Thank you for listening to the Compass Podcast. I'm Leah Walsh. More episodes are coming soon. Please look for us on Facebook in iTunes.

[39:34] Leah Walsh: I'd like to thank the following people for their generosity. The Compass Cover Art is by Kim Miller, music by Brendan Speth, audio assistance from Nick Choxie, and a special thanks to Frankie J. Alvarez.

[39:46] Leah Walsh: See you next time.