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[0:00] Leah Walsh: Hi, and welcome to The Compass, the podcast documenting the struggles of life as an artist. I'm Leah Walsh. Hi everyone. This is a re-release of episode 88 with Erin Wilhelmi. I originally published this back in August and ended up needing to put it on hold for a little bit. So here it is again. If you didn't catch it the one weekend it was live. Erin is a fantastic actor. She was a few years after me at the University of Evansville. And I still remember first seeing her on stage and being blown away by her presence and her ability to transform. She is a thoughtful and funny artist, and I'm excited to put this back out there for you to hear. If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast in iTunes. It would be so helpful. And if you find the mission of the podcast to be valuable to you as an artist, check out the Patreon page at patreon.com slash the Compass Podcast. I hope you enjoy the 88th episode of The Compass.

[1:04] Erin Wilhelmi: So what do you do to try to keep from going to the dark side?

[1:08] Leah Walsh: Oh the question.

[1:10] Erin Wilhelmi: You know, the first thing that comes to mind is yoga.

[1:14] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:15] Erin Wilhelmi: That Yoga Agora studio in Astoria really saved me six years ago is when I started going there.

[1:21] Leah Walsh: Oh wow.

[1:22] Erin Wilhelmi: It's like that's when it was five dollars a class. Um recently changed it.

[1:26] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[1:27] Erin Wilhelmi: To a whoppin eight dollars. So it's like still something that's affordable that gives me a chance to like just have a separate community. I like not just the act of yoga, but like going there and separating myself from acting in the way and like being in this studio.

[1:46] Leah Walsh: How often do you usually go?

[1:47] Erin Wilhelmi: Like three or four times a week.

[1:49] Leah Walsh: Oh wow.

[1:49] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah. I mean it definitely became like an investment for me. Like I set aside money to make sure I can go. But it definitely helps calm me. And the studio is so supportive of artists. Like everyone there seems to be like actor, dancer, painter, yeah, writer.

[2:06] Leah Walsh: It's kinda cool.

[2:07] Erin Wilhelmi: So you actually talk to people there.

[2:09] Leah Walsh: I guess so I just want to be anonymous when I go to yoga. I never talk to anybody. I should be better about that.

[2:12] Erin Wilhelmi: You know, I like I remember the days when I was anonymous and you know, it's easier to fall over and be anonymous. And now everyone knows, you know, I'm the I went too many times that I had to start talking to people and then but they're so supportive. Every teacher there is like they're coming to see the show I do and they're great people, so that's really nice. So yoga's helped me a lot.

[2:35] Leah Walsh: What does the dark side usually look like for you?

[2:41] Erin Wilhelmi: It's usually um the long period of time between jobs when I and I love my day job is babysitting.

[2:50] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[2:51] Erin Wilhelmi: And I love what I do, luckily. Like I enjoy the act of helping kids and being around kids, but after a while I'm like when is it gonna happen again? Am I gonna get another job? And I start to spiral um down into thinking like maybe I won't, maybe I won't get a nice job.

[3:10] Leah Walsh: Maybe that was it.

[3:10] Erin Wilhelmi: And I start to spiral um down into thinking like maybe I won't, maybe I won't get a nice job. Maybe that was it.

[3:13] Leah Walsh: 'Cause there's no guarantee, I guess.

[3:15] Erin Wilhelmi: So it can be it can be scary if you start to think about it too hard.

[3:19] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[3:19] Erin Wilhelmi: Um and so it's like, well hang out with friends or go to yoga or babysit or do something to keep your mind off of it.

[3:28] Leah Walsh: Yeah. Hey, is that always what your go to day job is spends than babysitting?

[3:32] Erin Wilhelmi: Oh, I was well, I worked in the box office at Signature Theatre.

[3:35] Leah Walsh: Oh, that's right.

[3:35] Erin Wilhelmi: For three years.

[3:36] Leah Walsh: That's right.

[3:37] Erin Wilhelmi: With a lot of our um friends and then I worked in their development department for like a year just doing um some data entry and then I I was a caterer cater waiter um for a couple years and um then I slowly moved into babysitting.

[3:57] Leah Walsh: So I've done a lot of those little odd jobs but yeah I got lucky enough to meet a lot of great families in Astoria.

[4:04] Erin Wilhelmi: And so I'm babysitting for a lot of people that's even better if it's an Astoria and you don't have to travel across the city when you're done.

[4:10] Leah Walsh: So great, yeah.

[4:11] Erin Wilhelmi: That's awesome.

[4:12] Leah Walsh: Yeah. Um I wanted to ask you I mean we can talk about all sorts of stuff but I wanted to ask you what your experience was like going straight from Evansville to New York and figuring out what to do straight out of undergrad 'cause I went the grad school route so I had a different experience. What was that like for you?

[4:30] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, I for some reason I just knew I didn't want to do grad school. I think that um it was because I knew I looked really young and I was feeling like um maybe it would help me if I moved to the city.

[4:45] Leah Walsh: Yeah to capitalize on that.

[4:47] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah. And I it was hard though. I mean I didn't what I didn't know is you don't you don't get your equity card then if you don't go to a certain program or you it's it's things that I didn't think about or have a showcase or anything like that.

[5:02] Leah Walsh: So I took classes at like one on one and um sort of got a showcase through that and that started my relationships with different people and then I got an agent that way.

[5:16] Erin Wilhelmi: But it just took I mean by the time people were graduating grad school from my year, I was just getting my equity card too.

[5:23] Leah Walsh: So it took just as long as if I had gone to grad school.

[5:26] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah. And it was tr it was a different sort of transition considering I didn't have um any sort of showcase so I I was just sort of learning as I went along and I ended up being picked up by an agent after a year um and they it was a small agency but they got me in the room for some things I wouldn't have otherwise been able to get into and then that led to you know finally getting a booking after a few years and then that led to something else.

[5:54] Leah Walsh: So slow process.

[5:56] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah. But and I think you know looking back on it I do sometimes wonder if I should have tried to go the grad school path um just because it it seems like a I would I would love to have studied a little more before but on the other hand I play 16, I play a really young looking characters.

[6:19] Leah Walsh: So I guess it's no and I mean you were taking classes and spending money on different things but you probably also avoided a lot of student loans.

[6:27] Erin Wilhelmi: Oh that's true from going you know going to another another school.

[6:32] Leah Walsh: And Evansville, I mean it's a good school but it's not cheap.

[6:35] Erin Wilhelmi: So it's true.

[6:37] Leah Walsh: It's true.

[6:38] Erin Wilhelmi: How do you I mean you do play a lot of young roles and it's I'm sure it's like a blessing and a curse to you. How are you feeling these days about being typecast or like how do you approach now that you're a little older approach playing some of these young roles?

[6:53] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah I think that there's um there's some roles that are young that I can't play that are just they need someone who's really that age. And then I think there's some rules that like are wise beyond their years and that's my like niche is that I can, you know, hopefully bring like an older sense to these characters that are eighteen going on twenty nine.

[7:22] Leah Walsh: Right.

[7:23] Erin Wilhelmi: You know um and I also I mean it was hard because I starting out I didn't have um I was competing of course a lot against a lot of people who were child actors who started professionally when they were actually children.

[7:38] Leah Walsh: Right.

[7:39] Erin Wilhelmi: So I didn't have the credits to support um support me as in getting in the room and stuff.

[7:45] Leah Walsh: But eventually I got to the point where I think when people knew that I wasn't actually a teenager that it was a benefit because they could well they didn't have to have my mom on set.

[7:58] Erin Wilhelmi: Right.

[7:58] Leah Walsh: Um and they also like got to be a little bit more responsible dependable.

[8:02] Erin Wilhelmi: So it did work for what a at some point it became like to my advantage.

[8:07] Leah Walsh: Um and like the character now is eighteen but she's definitely like a s a smart mature eighteen I think.

[8:18] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[8:18] Leah Walsh: And there's such a range of eighteen I think that you can be oh my God.

[8:24] Erin Wilhelmi: There's such a range about yeah.

[8:27] Leah Walsh: I mean I still remember being eighteen pretty well and thinking like sometimes I think I haven't changed that much and then then I think of things I did and I'm like, oh yeah I have learned a lot since then.

[8:41] Leah Walsh: Well congratulations on your current play.

[8:43] Erin Wilhelmi: Oh thank you.

[8:45] Leah Walsh: Doll's House part two.

[8:46] Erin Wilhelmi: Thanks.

[8:46] Leah Walsh: So exciting. I wanna go back. I saw it with the original cast, but I want to go back and see it now.

[8:51] Erin Wilhelmi: Oh yeah, it's very different.

[8:52] Leah Walsh: I'm sure it is.

[8:53] Erin Wilhelmi: But I wanted to ask, like, how long you guys what what it's like taking over a role, especially in a Broadway run.

[9:01] Leah Walsh: Like how much rehearsal did you guys get and how how how long has this process been?

[9:07] Erin Wilhelmi: Um well was it quick?

[9:08] Leah Walsh: It was quick.

[9:09] Erin Wilhelmi: Uh for I felt like it was quick. We got about almost three weeks, maybe two and a half weeks of rehearsal.

[9:17] Leah Walsh: Um with Sam or with like the assistant director.

[9:20] Erin Wilhelmi: It was with the assistant director.

[9:21] Leah Walsh: Um Sam was there for a couple days.

[9:23] Erin Wilhelmi: Um the Osh is our assistant director, he's amazing.

[9:26] Leah Walsh: Um and he's been directing under Sam for years.

[9:29] Erin Wilhelmi: He was with The Flick and John and Amazing. Um, all the ones, you know, Sam's many plays.

[9:36] Leah Walsh: So he was with us most of the time because and Sam was doing Hamlet as well.

[9:41] Erin Wilhelmi: So we we sort of we rehearsed because one of the characters is still the same actor, um actress Jane stayed with the cast, so she was still performing at night, so we worked with the understudy, okay, who was great.

[9:58] Leah Walsh: And um, but it is interesting because then we had a whole nother dynamic when we actually got into the dress rehearsal and we added Jane.

[10:07] Erin Wilhelmi: And I I don't have any scenes with Jane, but I know that Julie and Jane it was like, oh, this is you know, we have two days to figure out our dynamic who are you?

[10:15] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[10:16] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, but they I mean apparently they worked together like 25 years ago.

[10:20] Leah Walsh: That must be doing a regional theater show.

[10:23] Erin Wilhelmi: Isn't that neat?

[10:23] Leah Walsh: And there's a pit photo of them together and they haven't worked together since then.

[10:27] Erin Wilhelmi: So it's it's neat.

[10:29] Leah Walsh: And I mean it's definitely hard because in in this particular play, there's in this particular character, like there's definitely different ways you can approach it.

[10:42] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[10:43] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[10:43] Erin Wilhelmi: It could be completely different.

[10:45] Leah Walsh: It and I and I'm sure it is, yeah.

[10:47] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah. I I think that what's neat about Sam and Osh is that and I felt like from my very first audition I knew that Sam was open to that, to like maybe a different interpretation of it.

[11:01] Leah Walsh: Did they commute did the casting director communicate that to you?

[11:04] Erin Wilhelmi: No, which was kinda scary 'cause I I actually um got the audition and then went to see the show.

[11:10] Leah Walsh: Right.

[11:10] Erin Wilhelmi: And then thought, oh okay, that's not what I was thinking.

[11:13] Leah Walsh: But I'm trying to yeah, I wanna add to you know, I wanna take some of what she did and make it my own and I wasn't sure if that was gonna fly or not and I got lucky and it d and and he also worked with me in the room which was really nice.

[11:27] Erin Wilhelmi: And then it was we started with the the same blueprint and the same blocking.

[11:35] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[11:35] Erin Wilhelmi: Um and and then things that didn't feel right for us, we would ask if we could change it and they were very like, you know, flexible with that.

[11:44] Leah Walsh: Um and then gradually it kind of m became our own.

[11:48] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[11:48] Leah Walsh: But it's different.

[11:49] Erin Wilhelmi: It's a weird it's a weird thing to come in halfway through it, or not even halfway, like at the end of a big run and be like, and now we're gonna try it and see if that works.

[12:00] Leah Walsh: But I love that though because it's also it speaks highly of the play itself.

[12:06] Erin Wilhelmi: Which is hard when plays are on Broadway and it's not a musical.

[12:10] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[12:11] Erin Wilhelmi: And sometimes it's just about the star casting or whatever it is, but the fact that they really trust the script and the actors can inhabit it and it's not it's not really about even though the performances were incredible.

[12:26] Leah Walsh: It doesn't have to be those actors for it to carry itself.

[12:29] Erin Wilhelmi: That's so true.

[12:30] Leah Walsh: I mean really is the the writing is so good.

[12:32] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, it's exciting.

[12:33] Leah Walsh: And they keep saying, you know, when we get nervous, like just trust the writing, just trust the words that are coming out of your mouth because they're good and the story works, so um, as long as you say the right lines then you got a good, you know, good head start.

[12:50] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[12:51] Leah Walsh: I mean it it's it we you were mentioning before we started recording about how it's a little intimidating that it's like one big scene that you have and you don't come on and off.

[12:59] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[12:59] Leah Walsh: And so there you know, there's monologues and things like that.

[13:02] Erin Wilhelmi: How have you been preparing to go on stage?

[13:04] Leah Walsh: Like it is it different from what you normally would do?

[13:07] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, because I realized pretty quickly that I can't be backstage from the top of the show.

[13:13] Leah Walsh: Like I can't be down there um because I get too nervous and I feel like I'm wait I would be waiting down there for almost fifty minutes before I set foot on stage and that's just too long.

[13:25] Erin Wilhelmi: So I sort of stay up in my dressing room and get ready and I listen.

[13:31] Leah Walsh: I actually do have the the monitor on, but um I kind of think of it as like I'm in a big house, I'm in the doll's house, and I'm on my le my bedroom level floor, and then I come down the stairs to talk to my mom when I find out she's at in the foyer, you know, and yeah, I love that.

[13:46] Erin Wilhelmi: So I come down later and then I'm only backstage for a couple minutes before I come on, which has been uh it that's worked for me.

[13:53] Leah Walsh: But it is strange because Julie's been out there for fifty minutes before I come out.

[13:58] Erin Wilhelmi: And the audience has been present with her for the whole time.

[14:01] Leah Walsh: Totally.

[14:02] Erin Wilhelmi: And then they're like, Who the heck is this?

[14:05] Leah Walsh: Um Yeah, and you have to kind of join the momentum.

[14:08] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, absolutely.

[14:10] Leah Walsh: And you have a good idea of what this audience is before you even set foot on the stage.

[14:15] Erin Wilhelmi: Um Steven McKinley Henderson is so sweet.

[14:19] Leah Walsh: And you know, I like to talk to him after he gets off um after his first thing.

[14:24] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah he'll be like they're listening.

[14:26] Leah Walsh: Or like they love me.

[14:27] Erin Wilhelmi: Or like they really are team Nora tonight.

[14:31] Leah Walsh: You know, it's neat to get a like insight before you even the weather report.

[14:35] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah the weather report for that evening.

[14:38] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[14:39] Erin Wilhelmi: He's so incredible.

[14:41] Erin Wilhelmi: I know.

[14:41] Erin Wilhelmi: I love him.

[14:43] Erin Wilhelmi: You know, he directed a show as part of the Negro ensemble company when I was working in the box office.

[14:50] Erin Wilhelmi: That's and I remember yeah at the old signature and I remember arranging all his tickets like and we all loved him because he was so kind when he would walk in to all the box office employees and and so I told him that like our first day of rehearsal I was like I arranged your tickets for the show. And he's just such a nice guy. It's like I mean I remember seeing him in like the August Wilson shows there. Yeah it's so incredible incredible. Gosh yeah he's just he's pretty special. He has some good stories. Um so do they have a a set end date? Or is it open ended? Currently uh J January tw uh wait January eighth I think is the set end. So we last. Yeah until then you like putting your paycheck in the bank.

Oh my gosh, yeah that's great. It's like it's like nice to have a a little bit of some income. Yeah. And and trying to get those health insurance weeks and you know save 'em. 'Cause like so that when I go to the dark place the next time hopefully I'll have like something to fall back on. That's yeah. It's just something that I always struggle with and I know that you should try to embrace in this industry is just the fact that you can't plan ahead. Yeah. That's really hard. And I never thought that I was someone who needed to have control over things. My husband's gonna laugh when he hears that. Um but that you know the lack of control is really hard for me to deal with.

[16:25] Leah Walsh: Me too.

[16:26] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah. Oh me too. I mean my parents always said like we're really surprised that you chose this it doesn't really fit your personality and it doesn't. And I take it out on them, you know They have to hear all my anxiety and my s you know upsetting conversations when I'm don't feel good about audition or whatever. Right. And I feel bad that they have to go through all of that too. It's like it takes its toll on your whole family. Yeah. Really the dark times. I was gonna ask how they they take in your choice to be an artist.

[17:00] Erin Wilhelmi: So supportive. Yeah I mean my mom I know they were just in town right they were yes they came in and um saw the show three times. That's adorable. They're so sweet. Um but you know neither of them were ever into the acting. I mean they liked going to the theater but so they're learning with me about this business, but they definitely are supportive and and happy like they probably they might even be happier than me when I actually get a a job. Are you an only child?

[17:31] Erin Wilhelmi: No, I have a younger sister. Okay. She's um lives in Memphis and she is well, she was a second grade teacher. Um, but now she's a nanny. She's nannying. Oh you both have the magic children. Yeah, we like kids. Children magic. Yeah. My dad's a teacher, my mom was a education major, but okay. So you've been around it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you grew up in Louisville, right? Did you go to actors' theater a lot?

[17:57] Erin Wilhelmi: I did. I I remember going with my mom to see like Forever Plaid and Direct Helps that you have. They even yeah, if your parents like to see the theater, that you had an amazing regional theater in your hometown. I did. Oh, and I also right across the river in um New Albany, Indiana, is Derby Dinner Playhouse, and I like did a couple internships there in their office, and I did a children's show there, and so there's they do lots of they do big musicals and stuff there. Like I remember growing up there, I saw Annie Get Your Gun or whatever, and um oh gosh. All those classics. All those classics, yeah. Yeah. And then we also had like we have stage one for kids. We have I feel like it is a Kentucky Center for the Arts, so all the touring shows come through there, so I would get to see Lane Miz and Phantom when they come through.

[18:49] Leah Walsh: Have you had any artistic mentors in your time in New York?

[18:53] Erin Wilhelmi: Yes. You know, one of my favorite, you know him barely well, David Cottle. Yeah. Um, from the New Harmony Project. He's an amazing playwright. I'll have to I'll put it in the intro. He was on the compass. I don't remember what episode. Oh my gosh, I didn't even realize that. I didn't read it. I didn't have to listen to it. It was like last. It was like probably a year ago. Oh, David. I'm gonna have to go listen to his he's the sweetest. He really is. And like now I've known him since I was God uh twenty one, twenty two. So it's a long time. Read in his play in New Harmony, or were you working on another one? I don't remember. It was in his. It was his. Uh-huh. That was my first time in New Harmony.

I remember the day I met him and like he's just been such a support and a friend since the beginning in the art field, but also like personal things like all about you know. He's like he's become like a big brother. Yeah. So and his stuff is so good. Like someone who's that talented, I feel like you you can just trust them. Like I trust his opinions on anything I do. Um yeah. Um he's my ma main mentor in the city, I would think.

[20:10] Leah Walsh: Do you have any other artistic outlets that you reach for in between jobs? Are you a writer or anything like that?

[20:16] Erin Wilhelmi: You know, I wish I was a writer. Um, but I my because of the New Harmony Project, I love readings. So I do I think I've done up to like forty something readings in a year. Oh wow. And yeah, I counted once 'cause I was just curious. I'm sure it's I'm sure it's like tiny strings that tie together and someone here, you need someone there, but yeah, I think maybe it was I I gave my name to the lark and like the lark I did several readings for them and then did a and then a director that saw me there brought me to another place and I've done readings for s like a lots of different companies. Some pay, some don't, some are like a week long workshop, some are one day, some are cold. But like that has kept me that's another thing that keeps me out of the dark place because it's like I have something to work on and focus on when I'm not in have a don't have a job really.

Um and then you feel like you have a purpose too, because these plays are still being workshopped and developed and like you're contributing to that process. So that's been that's sort of I since I'm not a writer and I haven't uh found another creative outlet, I think that that's served me really well.

[21:43] Leah Walsh: No, and I'm sure it serves the plays to have someone.

[21:46] Erin Wilhelmi: I hope Sam the cast who has like perfected the the art of being an actor and reading, you know. Yeah, and it's you know, giving feedback. I think that's something that New Harmony actually taught a lot of us from Evansville really well, really young. Yes. Like how to give feedback in a constructive way. Oh yeah. How to how to prize the playwright above everything else just because that's the beginning of the thing. Or she yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that like I just remember being in that conference room at New Harmony and thinking, oh, he's changing that right now. Like he's actually changing his line based on what we just said. And that's so neat because you don't ever really think about that when you're doing plays in college because you're doing published works that are completed and it's just a different it's a whole different world that opens up and something that you're contributing to.

[22:38] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, totally. Um I was gonna say I'm trying to think of something else that something came to mind. Oh, just I mean it can be hard too because some of these some you'll do like four workshops of a play and then it finally gets produced or it gets picked up and you don't get the part. Yeah. So it's hard you have to keep like um which I don't do very well, like a balance of how attached to get to your piece. 'Cause that's happened, but then the opposites happen too, where you do get to do the piece once it actually goes Yeah to a a stage. I think that's difficult for everybody involved. Yeah. Especially if they really enjoyed working with you, but they're making that decision for whatever reason.

The producers want someone else or Yeah. That can be hard. Or if it's a different director than the one you worked with. But you do feel it's hard when you feel like, oh man, I really helped contribute to Yeah. And especially if you weren't getting paid in the workshop process. It's like you invested your time. Mm-hmm. But there's no promises. Yeah. I guess that's the the other part about being an actor. It's like we are I think it's weird because everyone thinks about like acting as like the celebrities and stuff. But like there's so many of us like just giving our our energy and our creativity to things and then never s getting to do them or yeah be part of it and like we struggle. It's true. It's so hard. You know?

[24:06] Leah Walsh: Well and that's that's the thing that's always um it's that weird line between, you know, making this your career. Which we should be able to, right? Because people are getting paid for it. Um and it's a job. But it's also like when you add that circumstance, you add all of these other expectations and pressures on it that if you let's say we were only doing it as a hobby, we wouldn't be putting on it. I don't know, guys. It is and it's like you have to But it is an industry, so why shouldn't we be the ones who are right. Somebody's must be making money. Doing it. Yeah. I guess that's when you have to um be able to do everything TV, film, commercials, theater, you know, voiceover, you have to have Yeah. Otherwise I don't know how people make it financially.

[25:03] Erin Wilhelmi: Well I remember we ran into each other at a play like after you had done the crucible and you were saying like oh I had I had ex kind of expected after having that credit to have the auditions becoming a little more to have you know the even though we know it's not a ladder, like to have something opened up open up in a way, but it wasn't happening immediately.

[25:24] Leah Walsh: No, not at all.

[25:25] Erin Wilhelmi: I mean it was um I had little things here and there which I'm in readings and workshops and um but this was my next big one which it was almost a year. Yeah. So that that that's not easy. Um but you know I'm grateful it was only a year. Could have been could have been longer. Yeah. Um but you really have gotten a chance to work in film too.

[25:48] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah I've how is that look oh it's so it's so different from theater and coming from such a theater background both all of us that we know it's it's just very strange. It's it's just a whole different world. Yeah did you take classes and I took um a class with Marcy Phillips of ABC and I took a class with Paul Cheney. I don't know am I saying his name wrong? Chine. I don't know him. Um he he casts a lot of like good indie film like Winter's Bone and that stuff. And they were those classes were really helpful. Um but that those are the only two I took. Um I think Marcy was the one that just said she she said something like just do exactly what you what you can and then you have to let it go because like I did an audition and she goes, Yep, and now you either get the party or you don't. Like there's nothing more to do. Like and like you either so you have to get to that point where you just easier said than done. Right.

[26:56] Leah Walsh: So you're saying that I can't go home and twiddle my thumbs by the phone and like think about it, think it into existence.

[27:02] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, exactly. No, I mean that's so true, but it's difficult to do. Yeah, like it is definitely. But um I have so many friends who are like writing their own short films or shooting their own stuff, and that I admire that so much, and I maybe someday I can try to make my own work 'cause that seems so important and I think nowadays it really is.

[27:28] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[27:28] Erin Wilhelmi: I've never been good about that either. This with the podcast is really the first time I've really made it ha something like that happen. I've always been someone who much more depends on like a group dynamic and the communal drive to get something off the ground. That's why I'm not a director. Yeah. Like I'll do my little part, but you tell me what to do.

[27:51] Leah Walsh: Was Perks of being a wallflower your first film?

[27:51] Erin Wilhelmi: Yes. Yes. It was my I had done student films. Okay. But I had never seen a call sheet before. I had never I didn't really know what I was doing. And I remember Steven Chabosky, the director, saying to me, So what have you done before? Like when on my very first day of shooting, and I was like, Was Columbia Grad film about blah blah blah? And he's like, that's it. Well he'd already cast you. He saw your resume at some point. I did, but I was so dumb, I didn't even think that that wasn't a that I was that behind. I didn't I wasn't, you know, I didn't have an IMDB profile. I didn't have anything. I don't know. I got lucky as heck, but he was so nice because then at the end of the first day of shooting he said he had everybody stop. It was like four AM and he was like, Everyone give Aaron a round of applause for her first day on a feature film.

[28:43] Leah Walsh: That's so sweet.

[28:44] Erin Wilhelmi: It was really sweet considering Emma Watson standing right there having done Harry Potter's for 15 years a time or whatever. Like, thank you, first day. Uh I mean it looked like a that film is so much fun to watch. Yeah, well, and it was great part because I didn't have a lot of lines, and so I just was there a lot watching and observing and learning and And it's like a group of friends in that like high school time when they're all so bonded, so I assume that that was kind of the experience of doing the scenes. It was totally.

[29:53] Erin Wilhelmi: I think that I learned that if I get too nervous, I can't perform well. So maybe that one thing I've learned is keeping myself from getting too worked up beforehand. Um, or like I really appreciated Amelia's podcast. Amelia McLean. Yes, because she said, you know, sometimes you don't always have to be memorized to have a great audition. And I agree with her on that. And I think I have struggled to let myself look at the page. Yeah. And sometimes you don't have to look down, but as if you've given permission to yourself to do that, then you don't feel that pressure. So that was, I totally agree with her on that. And I think that I used to just think if I look down, then my audition's over. You know, but that's the worst thing to happen.

[31:05] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[31:05] Erin Wilhelmi: No, I definitely put a lot of pressure on that too because again, the control thing, like that feel if I can really know all the lines, that's the main thing. I mean, obviously making choices and acting. Yeah, but don't, but like if I know the lines, that's gonna, they're gonna realize I put so much work into this and I'm gonna feel more comfortable. And then it doesn't always like, and you know, it may have been Marcy that said, we like it if you're holding the sides. We casting directors will get anxious for you if you put them down because they're like, 'Oh, oh she's gonna go up, like is she gonna need that?

[31:39] Erin Wilhelmi: Right. And so I remember her saying that, so I never put them down, I always have them, but sometimes I'm not on the right page or whatever, but that sort of accepting that you can't always, sometimes you have 24 hours, you know, and that's just life and you can look at the page, Erin. And then what was the, I haven't seen the most recent film that you did. What was the experience?

[32:04] Erin Wilhelmi: Sweet Sweet Lonely Girl.

[32:06] Leah Walsh: Yeah, tell me about that.

[32:07] Erin Wilhelmi: It was so cool because it was my first lead in a feature.

[32:12] Leah Walsh: How exciting.

[32:13] Erin Wilhelmi: I'm saying that through this whole podcast, that's my phrase for Aaron's podcast. How exciting. I'm just realizing it. Sorry guys. How exciting. Well, it was, I was like, okay, I mean that was, it was considered a gothic horror.

[32:27] Leah Walsh: Okay.

[32:27] Erin Wilhelmi: Which, but if there's no blood, I can't handle blood, so I'm very glad that there was no blood. Um, but it's like that sort of 70s horror film kind of feel. Um, he drew a lot of inspiration from films like My Summer of Love, Heavenly Creatures, um, Persona, like a lot of female doubling tales and then he wrote this sort of script that had two girls, two women in it and this mysterious house and it was, it was a great experience because for the whole month I'm in every pretty much every scene.

[33:09] Erin Wilhelmi: So I'm learning so much and getting to be constantly in front of the camera and constant and it was also actually very little dialogue, which was neat because it was all about show, like making sure that you weren't, I learned a lot about the difference of what a camera can pick up and what, you know, from theater when you're, we feel like we have to show a little bit or sometimes, but the camera picks up everything and it was so fascinating. He'd be like, you know, if that's a five, take it down to a two.

[33:44] Erin Wilhelmi: I'd be like, wow, okay, so I don't even have to show that much, like it's such a gift to be able to just practice that much.

[33:52] Leah Walsh: Yeah, I got to practice experiment.

[33:54] Erin Wilhelmi: And the director Alex Calvo, he is amazing. AD Calvo he goes by. He wrote it, he directed it, and then he just submitted it and we got into these pretty great festivals.

[34:05] Leah Walsh: Nice, I'm gonna write down his name so I can look at him.

[34:09] Erin Wilhelmi: Yes, look him up. He would be a good podcaster. Is he in New York?

[34:14] Erin Wilhelmi: He is in Connecticut.

[34:15] Leah Walsh: He's in Conne and he comes here all the time.

[34:19] Erin Wilhelmi: And he's got a great voice.

[34:21] Leah Walsh: Like I would listen to him.

[34:23] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, well that sounds amazing.

[34:25] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, it was fun. It's on Shudder.

[34:29] Leah Walsh: It's a Shudder exclusive, it's a streaming service for horror movies through AMC.

[34:34] Erin Wilhelmi: Alright, Shudder.

[34:35] Leah Walsh: Yeah, exciting.

[34:38] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[34:39] Leah Walsh: There it is again.

[34:40] Erin Wilhelmi: There it is. I can tell that I'm tired, can't I?

[34:40] Leah Walsh: Oh bless your heart, how are you feeling about New York these days?

[34:48] Erin Wilhelmi: You know, I do love it here. I feel like I love Astoria and I love where we all live and I do think that especially in this climate, this political climate, it's nice to be in this city. I'm really grateful I live here and not anywhere else right now. But I think it would be neat someday to try LA.

[35:15] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:15] Erin Wilhelmi: And just see what that side of the country's like.

[35:18] Leah Walsh: Um, have you ever spent any time there?

[35:20] Erin Wilhelmi: I've spent like 72 hours total on two different trips combined.

[35:25] Leah Walsh: So no, not really.

[35:27] Erin Wilhelmi: But I have a friend who I've just met with today who's giving it a shot, they're moving out in two weeks, and she's only lived here. And you know, it's, I feel like it's so brave and it's worth a try just to see what that world's like so you always know. But on the other hand, I'm like, I just can't imagine never, like I can't imagine never coming back here.

[35:49] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[35:49] Erin Wilhelmi: This is sort of home and the theaters here, you know, I just don't even know how to, you would leave theater, doing theater.

[36:00] Leah Walsh: Of course, there's theater in LA, but I just, it's not the same.

[36:03] Erin Wilhelmi: No, I mean I just got back from this wedding in LA and it was like everyone we talked to was trying to convince us to move out there.

[36:04] Leah Walsh: To move out there, which, you know, I don't know.

[36:13] Erin Wilhelmi: We've talked about maybe going in the next five years or so.

[36:16] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[36:16] Erin Wilhelmi: Just to try.

[36:18] Leah Walsh: Just to try.

[36:19] Erin Wilhelmi: And also just to have more space.

[36:22] Leah Walsh: You know, and having a yard of some sort.

[36:25] Erin Wilhelmi: Having some outdoor life would be nice in a different way.

[36:29] Leah Walsh: For Gus Gus.

[36:32] Erin Wilhelmi: For Gus Gus, my dog.

[36:34] Leah Walsh: What is, how has that changed your life, getting a dog in the city?

[36:38] Erin Wilhelmi: You know, I never thought I'd do it. Uh huh. And I had been, you know, going through a breakup, thinking, okay, what am I gonna do to lift myself out of this? And it has really, it's been the best investment in my own sanity. He's amazing. He, you know, it's some, I swear they're all those studies are true that it really helps your brain and life. I feel like every time I look at him I get like a little release of endorphins or whatever serotonin.

[36:57] Leah Walsh: And so did you grow up with dogs?

[37:10] Erin Wilhelmi: I did.

[37:11] Erin Wilhelmi: I did.

[37:11] Leah Walsh: So it'd have been a long time of not having one.

[37:13] Erin Wilhelmi: But no, he's been great. And you know, it's hard in New York, but he's pee pad trained.

[37:19] Erin Wilhelmi: So he goes on that if he needs to.

[37:21] Leah Walsh: And you have, you have a c people who can check in on him if you can't get home.

[37:25] Erin Wilhelmi: Luckily I do, yeah.

[37:27] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[37:27] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[37:28] Leah Walsh: That's great.

[37:30] Erin Wilhelmi: Was there anything else that you wanted to talk about?

[37:33] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, I just think it's neat just to shout out to our Evansville group of the kind of support we have here.

[37:40] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[37:41] Erin Wilhelmi: I'm just so grateful for that. You know, someone asked me when I was there, people stay after with their playbills and someone said, what's your advice to a girl she was about to do her college auditions and I said audition for Evansville because I think like that support group here has been, it's a, I don't know what I do without it.

[38:02] Leah Walsh: Yeah, yeah.

[38:02] Erin Wilhelmi: Without it, like I don't know, I mean even coming here and having a new community at a new school which really did help me transition, like having somewhere to go every day.

[38:12] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[38:12] Erin Wilhelmi: But like coming here with a community already built, huge. And even like so many people that, like I mean I only went to school with you for a year and I feel so grateful that I get to hang out with you and see you at readings and each other.

[38:28] Leah Walsh: And yeah, and even people like Nick Mills, who I'd never even went to school with, and yet I'm like excited about his Broadway show and his work in Amelia and um we all, we all really care about what everyone else is doing.

[38:44] Erin Wilhelmi: It's a pretty great community.

[38:45] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[38:46] Erin Wilhelmi: Um for life.

[38:48] Erin Wilhelmi: I feel like we're like a fraternity sorority or something.

[38:51] Leah Walsh: Evansville is UET.

[38:53] Erin Wilhelmi: UE T.

[38:54] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[38:54] Erin Wilhelmi: So just thought I'd, I'm sure you've done shout-outs to them before, that's a great shout-out for you.

[38:59] Leah Walsh: How to give another one to Lutz.

[39:02] Erin Wilhelmi: So are there any concrete things that you reach for again and again, like if you are in an uninspired dark place besides yoga?

[39:13] Erin Wilhelmi: Like a book you read or a place you go or music you listen to or something.

[39:18] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, I'm very lucky to say that my parents have been my rock. Um, and I feel like I call them and I go home.

[39:31] Erin Wilhelmi: I go to Louisville. Um, and I went there I think four times last year, and that was the most I'd been visited home in a while, but there's something about like going back home and sort of recharging that has helped me a lot. But when I can't, I would say my friends and reaching out, yeah, no matter what.

[39:56] Leah Walsh: 'Cause do you live alone?

[39:57] Erin Wilhelmi: I do.

[39:58] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[39:58] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[39:59] Leah Walsh: Which is amazing, but when you're in that dark place it's easy to isolate.

[40:03] Erin Wilhelmi: It's been about two and a half years now that I've lived alone and I Skype with friends that don't live here a lot.

[40:09] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, like Skype with people in LA and that has, I don't know how people did it before cell phones and Skype.

[40:16] Leah Walsh: I know, it's amazing.

[40:18] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, it just makes you feel so much more involved, and I don't feel like I'm alone.

[40:22] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[40:23] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, I mostly use it to Skype with my nieces, and I'm like, what if I didn't have this?

[40:27] Leah Walsh: Exactly.

[40:28] Erin Wilhelmi: Like that's huge.

[40:30] Erin Wilhelmi: That's huge. And I've been dating a guy who, um, his niece is in Japan and her, his brother lives in Japan, and they Skype all the time.

[40:39] Leah Walsh: Incredible.

[40:39] Erin Wilhelmi: I mean, it's really changed everything.

[40:42] Erin Wilhelmi: So I just reach out a lot.

[40:44] Erin Wilhelmi: I bug people.

[40:45] Leah Walsh: That's my answer.

[40:47] Erin Wilhelmi: That's a great answer.

[40:48] Leah Walsh: I'm like, I'm down, talk to me.

[40:50] Erin Wilhelmi: It's a great answer.

[40:51] Leah Walsh: So thanks.

[40:52] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, and then I know you've been busy with the show, but have you seen anything recently that you want to recommend?

[40:58] Erin Wilhelmi: Oh gosh.

[40:59] Leah Walsh: On any medium, not just theater.

[41:01] Erin Wilhelmi: I saw Parallelogram at Second Stage.

[41:05] Leah Walsh: Oh.

[41:05] Erin Wilhelmi: I really liked it.

[41:06] Leah Walsh: I don't know anything about that.

[41:07] Erin Wilhelmi: Uh, Bruce Norris wrote it.

[41:09] Leah Walsh: Okay.

[41:09] Erin Wilhelmi: And Celia Keenan Bolger is in it.

[41:12] Leah Walsh: She's so good.

[41:14] Erin Wilhelmi: It's so, it's so trippy. It's such a cool piece. I don't want to give anything away, but it's like, it's about like, you know, parallel, it's kind of like instead of a telegram, it's about like a parallel universe's gram.

[41:29] Erin Wilhelmi: So what if we could, you know, go to the parallel universe and change something, kind of a play. It's really like I've never seen anything like it on stage.

[41:38] Leah Walsh: I mean, it's good.

[41:40] Erin Wilhelmi: And that's running right now.

[41:41] Leah Walsh: And Michael Grief directed it, and I think it just opened actually.

[41:46] Erin Wilhelmi: Okay, I gotta see it.

[41:47] Leah Walsh: Yeah, go check it out.

[41:48] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[41:48] Leah Walsh: Oh, you'd be good in that part too.

[41:50] Erin Wilhelmi: I want to see it.

[41:51] Leah Walsh: Um, anything else?

[41:53] Erin Wilhelmi: Um, what else can I see?

[41:55] Leah Walsh: It's okay.

[41:56] Erin Wilhelmi: I can't, I don't know.

[41:57] Erin Wilhelmi: What else have I seen lately?

[41:58] Erin Wilhelmi: I'm about to go see Napoli Brooklyn.

[42:00] Leah Walsh: Ooh, I want to see that.

[42:01] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, I'm excited.

[42:02] Erin Wilhelmi: I mean, I think it closes at the end of the month.

[42:04] Leah Walsh: But um, terrible about seeing these.

[42:06] Erin Wilhelmi: We're seeing Natasha Pierre again.

[42:08] Leah Walsh: I've not.

[42:10] Erin Wilhelmi: Tomorrow night, seen it.

[42:11] Leah Walsh: September 3rd.

[42:11] Erin Wilhelmi: This is embarrassing.

[42:11] Leah Walsh: Yeah, I have to go now.

[42:13] Erin Wilhelmi: When do you guys have?

[42:15] Leah Walsh: When do you guys not have shows?

[42:16] Erin Wilhelmi: Sunday evening.

[42:17] Leah Walsh: Do they have Sunday evening?

[42:18] Erin Wilhelmi: I think they just have an afternoon.

[42:21] Leah Walsh: You'll have to watch the video at the library at some point.

[42:25] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, I'm really, we saw, I mean our Frankie's best friend Nick is in it, so we saw it twice at Arsnova and then we got to go to opening night with him.

[42:35] Leah Walsh: Oh, that's okay.

[42:36] Erin Wilhelmi: And then we're gonna see it again.

[42:37] Erin Wilhelmi: And it's just, it's such an incredible show.

[42:39] Leah Walsh: I'm very, this is a larger discussion and I'll have to have someone on from comment to talk about it, but I'm very sad that it's closing.

[42:45] Erin Wilhelmi: I am too.

[42:46] Leah Walsh: It's an incredible work of art.

[42:49] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[42:50] Erin Wilhelmi: It just seems like it's such a huge undertaking.

[42:52] Leah Walsh: The right time to go away.

[42:54] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[42:54] Leah Walsh: To be.

[42:55] Erin Wilhelmi: Anywho.

[42:57] Leah Walsh: I want to see Bandstand before it closes too.

[42:59] Erin Wilhelmi: Hmm.

[43:00] Leah Walsh: I bet that's fun.

[43:01] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah, I hear it through my dressing room window all the time.

[43:04] Leah Walsh: That sounds so good.

[43:07] Erin Wilhelmi: I also listen to Phantom from the bathroom.

[43:10] Leah Walsh: Oh yeah.

[43:10] Erin Wilhelmi: I know Frankie's sister is one of the ballerinas in that.

[43:13] Leah Walsh: What?

[43:13] Erin Wilhelmi: Yeah.

[43:14] Erin Wilhelmi: She's one of the ballerinas.

[43:15] Leah Walsh: I want to meet her.

[43:16] Erin Wilhelmi: I'm well, I'm sure you will at some point.

[43:18] Erin Wilhelmi: I'm so like next time she's in Astoria, I'll call you and you come over.

[43:23] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[43:24] Erin Wilhelmi: And so I'm always like, are you in Phantom?

[43:26] Leah Walsh: I'll have to show you her picture and I mean please.

[43:28] Erin Wilhelmi: She's like got Frankie's eyes, so I'm sure you could pick her up.

[43:31] Leah Walsh: Oh my god, that's so cool.

[43:33] Leah Walsh: I'd love to meet her.

[43:34] Erin Wilhelmi: Erin, thank you.

[43:35] Erin Wilhelmi: Thank you so much for the case.

[43:36] Leah Walsh: I really appreciate you doing this.

[43:38] Erin Wilhelmi: Oh thank you.

[43:41] Leah Walsh: Um, thank you for listening to the Compass Podcast.

[43:51] Leah Walsh: I'm Leah Walsh. More episodes are coming soon. Please look for us on Facebook in iTunes.

[43:56] Leah Walsh: I'd like to thank the following people for their generosity.

[43:59] Leah Walsh: The Compass Cover Art is by Kim Miller, music by Brendan Speth, audio assistance from Nick Choxie, and a special thanks to Frankie J. Alvarez.

[44:09] Leah Walsh: See you next time.