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[0:30] Cassidy Sledge: Welcome back adventurers, it's Alan Wellmet, the Twenty Sided Tavern Podcast, and man we're doing some goofy shit today. Oh yeah, we're singing. Yeah, we are. We are singing. I am calling this Critical Number 1's. And I don't know, am I going to, what did I also say? Probably something clever. One, one hit. What, what, roll, roll. Roll for one hit. Rocket roll. It was a one hit wonder joke. Surely you can edit this out later. Oh yeah, no absolutely. One hit wonder. It was like one hit wonders or something, but yeah, I don't know. It was a roll pun, but critically, yeah. Oh, oh, I remember. One crit wonders. Excellent job remembering this information in a timely manner in the moment, Murray. Thanks Cassidy. We're professional podcasters. So here's what we're going to do. RJ and Cassidy and I are here. Hi guys.

[1:22] RJ Christian: I'm RJ.

[1:23] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah, thanks for hanging out. We're all music dorks. It's true. To several, one degree or others.

[1:28] RJ Christian: All cows eat grass.

[1:30] Cassidy Sledge: Yes. All what? All cows eat grass? Yes. Okay. Yes. No, I know what that means. Listen, you guys are actual music nerds. I am a fucking hack.

[1:39] RJ Christian: No, you're not. You got the music in your soul.

[1:41] Cassidy Sledge: I do. It's in my bones, but it's not in my brain. And so that's the problem is I'm all bones. And enthusiasm.

[1:46] RJ Christian: Yes. Bone and well met.

[1:48] Cassidy Sledge: Not that one. So I think we're going to see if we can write a song in an hour and we wanted to keep it like D&D relevant. So I asked our discord for song suggestions, the titles of songs that don't exist, but should. And man, did y'all come so unbelievably correct. So here's what we're going to do. I don't think, I think it's a different exercise. We got a whole lot of like, um, uh, oh man. Also just full disclaimer, we don't have any kind of plan for this. Alex just said, Hey, what if we do song?

[2:25] RJ Christian: Yeah.

[2:26] Cassidy Sledge: And that's what we're doing. That's what we're going to do. We're going to do songs. We're going to rip through, we're going to make ourselves a little like, like a grooviness chart of 20 song titles. And then we're going to roll and then we're going to make that song. And then the rest of this episode will just be that song.

[2:44] RJ Christian: Yeah. We're going to try and do it in the next like 45 minutes. Cause RJ got to work tonight.

[2:49] Cassidy Sledge: I'm on that stage.

[2:50] RJ Christian: Yeah, you are. So here we go. We did get a whole bunch of, I mean like Lexi, Lexi who hit us with like litching on a prayer, hot for tiefling ghouls, ghouls, ghouls. Welcome to the underdark stairway to the astral plane. Roll for the Hills. Brock you like a thunder wave, hunger, like the owl bear. And like, I think that's maybe a different exercise.

[3:07] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, but we got to do that one.

[3:09] RJ Christian: I think also we do that and everybody picks one. And then like, I think we're good under like copyright law because it's a podcast, but like we could just get karaoke tracks and maybe everybody like does a dumb, dumb ass song, but we're going to try and do things that would make us write an original song.

[3:28] Cassidy Sledge: So hey, eventually we'll have a, an album.

[3:30] RJ Christian: No way. Are we really setting our sights that high?

[3:35] Cassidy Sledge: I mean, listen, all you have to do is be an idiot in a room for an hour, 10 times and you have an album.

[3:41] RJ Christian: I do that everywhere.

[3:47] Cassidy Sledge: That's it. Okay. So let's, let's, let's rip through Casey. Our first one's from Casey and it's raw instinct at the deli counter.

[3:52] RJ Christian: Raw instinct at the deli counter.

[3:57] Cassidy Sledge: I like that. I want that meat uncooked. Uh, we've got another one from Cedar that's magic missiles with butterfly wings, which is, uh, that's another parody and that's good. Uh, from nobody owed to the things at the bottom of my purse.

[4:08] RJ Christian: Oh damn.

[4:09] Cassidy Sledge: I think that can go so fast. I can't write this quickly.

[4:14] RJ Christian: No, you're good. You're good. You're good.

[4:16] Cassidy Sledge: Okay. Cause I'm also tearing through the like, there's another from Cedar Barovian idiot, which like there you guys, they're so good. There's so many good ones.

[4:24] RJ Christian: I know. I know. I know. We're in it. They start immediately writing themselves.

[4:30] Cassidy Sledge: Um, let's see. We did a kiss from Cthulhu.

[4:37] RJ Christian: Oh, okay. I can pay you a kiss.

[4:39] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, so many of those tentacles penetrate me.

[4:50] RJ Christian: Oh wow.

[4:51] Cassidy Sledge: I've got Sydney calling to from Chet, but that's another. Okay. So here's a couple from Casey. Okay. Bridge low trucks. No bridge. Low trucks. No. For some country.

[5:03] RJ Christian: Um, settled down. Woo girl.

[5:05] Cassidy Sledge: This is good. I might be saying that tonight.

[5:08] RJ Christian: I know.

[5:09] Cassidy Sledge: Half fish. All idiot.

[5:11] RJ Christian: Yes. Yes. I'm so here for that.

[5:13] Cassidy Sledge: Oh God. Wait, what was it? Half fish.

[5:15] RJ Christian: Half fish.

[5:16] Cassidy Sledge: Holy half fish. All idiot. I love it.

[5:21] RJ Christian: All right, let's go down. Let's see. Uh, this was a good one from nobody. Just 7,000 mice.

[5:32] Cassidy Sledge: Simply 7,000 miles. Uh, colorblind apology from Vesper. Ooh, colorblind apology.

[5:43] RJ Christian: Oh man.

[5:44] Cassidy Sledge: And then, uh, Rick wrecked gives given us power word, rock and roll last call. Slow fall. Polymorph princess. I don't know if those are.

[5:50] RJ Christian: Oh, I'm actually obsessed with all of those.

[5:56] Cassidy Sledge: Okay. Let's let's throw them in the chart then. Power word, rock and roll. Power word, rock. Are you freaking kidding me? Power rock and roll. And did I bring any of my electric guitars or anything? No, it's power word, rock and roll. The acoustic cover. This is the, the, uh, backstage unplugged version of the song.

[6:09] RJ Christian: Okay. Also y'all, we have like acoustic guitars and ukuleles and like a mini kid. I got a kazoo.

[6:16] Cassidy Sledge: Uh, yeah. I mean, okay, here we go. From J J Ryan. Cronomancy is your mom.

[6:33] RJ Christian: Cronomancy is your mom. First name. Crono last name.

[6:41] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah. Cronomancy. Cronomancy is your mom. She's so old. Oh, she's got it going on though. You bending that time. Ooh, man.

[6:46] RJ Christian: All right. And then at six seconds, six seconds of combat also is there, which I enjoy.

[6:51] Cassidy Sledge: Beautiful. We're setting ourself up for more than one episode of this. I hope.

[6:55] RJ Christian: All right. Just so you know, we're at 12 out of 20.

[6:58] Cassidy Sledge: That's great. It might be a D 12 roll because then there's just, I want to give some shout outs here. Best for, we're not going to do any of these because they're all, but man, I feel like a DM water, Davian Rhapsody, death of a bard tour. I write spells, not trickery. Ghouls just want to have fun. Lady Lilith snide out and backpack kids. So dumb.

[7:16] RJ Christian: Uh, I'm obsessed.

[7:17] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we've got another, like, gimme, gimme, gimme an inspiration point.

[7:20] RJ Christian: Yeah.

[7:21] Cassidy Sledge: Fireball Inferno. Plane shift this way. Plane shift this way is good. Highway to the nine hells. Danger. Scent zone. Winged boogie shoes. I have the Tarrasque.

[7:33] RJ Christian: Yeah. I mean like they're also good, but I think, yeah, yeah. I think that's about it. So we've got a 12. It's a 12.

[7:38] Cassidy Sledge: All right. So thank you. Thank you. First of all, everybody for writing nonsense in, um, we'll continue to expand charts I think in the future, but I need a D 12, right?

[7:44] RJ Christian: Okay. I'll go get a D 12.

[7:46] Cassidy Sledge: Here we go. While Alex is grabbing that dice, I will read aloud our list just so we're all on the same page. Uh, we have raw instinct at the deli counter. Magic missiles with butterfly wings owed to the things at the bottom of my purse. A kiss from Cthulhu, which I think notably breaks the theme of what we've got going on, but I don't care. Then we have bridge low trucks. No, I think that's so funny. Settle down. Woo girl. Half fish. All idiot. 7,000 mice.

[8:09] RJ Christian: Okay.

[8:10] Cassidy Sledge: I think settle. It was, I like settled down. Woo girl. I like, I like you have written it as a command. It is, was written as a, like, like settled down. Woo girl.

[8:28] RJ Christian: Oh, I thought it was settled down. Woo girl.

[8:34] Cassidy Sledge: I like that. I think we're going to keep it there, but I like, because I think it was more of a country ballad of like, she's a settled down. Woo girl.

[8:45] RJ Christian: Interesting. Cowboy hats put away in the closet.

[8:49] Cassidy Sledge: Well, if we roll for that, we could also roll like evens are settled down and odds are settled down.

[8:54] RJ Christian: Sure.

[8:55] Cassidy Sledge: We could also write a song about how she needs to settle down. And then the third verse could be what her life is like. Real.

[9:00] RJ Christian: Okay. I ain't gonna woo no more.

[9:01] Cassidy Sledge: I can't remember where I left off. My woo is gone. We got, we got half fish, all idiot, 7,000 mice, colorblind apology, power word, rock and roll. Chrono Nancy is your mom and six seconds of combat.

[9:12] RJ Christian: Chrono Nancy is your mom.

[9:13] Cassidy Sledge: So good. We can name her Nancy.

[9:15] RJ Christian: Okay. RJ, roll us a fucking chugging on the.

[9:21] Cassidy Sledge: Oh no. I want intention behind it.

[9:23] RJ Christian: Okay. Here we go. What'd we get?

[9:27] Cassidy Sledge: That's a two. A two is going to be magic missiles with butterfly wings.

[9:33] RJ Christian: Oh, that was one of the, that's one of the true. That's a, that's a, that's a spoof on what? Bullet with butterfly wings.

[9:41] Cassidy Sledge: Vampire bayonet.

[9:43] RJ Christian: You're a child.

[9:44] Cassidy Sledge: I'm sorry. Neither of y'all, nobody smashing pumpkins.

[9:47] RJ Christian: I'm aware of smashing pumpkins through my chemical romance.

[9:53] Cassidy Sledge: It was the biggest, it was the biggest song in the world in how God, 1990. Neither of y'all were alive. Were you?

[9:58] RJ Christian: Well, it depends. If you say nine, if you say nine, then the answer might be nine months.

[10:01] Cassidy Sledge: Okay. All right. Well, so maybe one more row.

[10:03] RJ Christian: That's an eight and eight 7,000 mice, 7,000 mice. What will they do?

[10:12] Cassidy Sledge: All right, here we go. We are going to now turn the microphones off. And when you hear us again, we will present to you 7,000 mice.

[10:16] RJ Christian: Oh my God. I'm so excited.

[10:31] ♪ Musical number: "7,000 Mice" — performed by Cassidy Sledge, RJ Christian, and Alan Wellmet ♪

[12:54] Cassidy Sledge: A magnum opus if ever I've heard one. Thank you guys so much. It was just really fun. We banged that out in no kidding. That was a 35 minute. It was really fun. The three of us got to figure out how to write a song together in 30 minutes. That was fun. It kind of slaps.

[13:08] RJ Christian: It's not bad at all. If you have any comments or complaints, we will not accept them.

[13:14] Cassidy Sledge: No, we're not interested. That's your new anthem. Freaking radical. Thanks guys for coming in and doing a weird ass experiment. This was so much fun. What a hoot. Now we have it. If we want to actually record it at some point, we can. That was incredible. God damn, y'all are talented motherfuckers.

[13:31] RJ Christian: That was right back at you.

[13:36] Cassidy Sledge: All right, nerds. RJ has to go do a show, so until next time, and well met.

[13:44] RJ Christian: Hey, adventurers. Thanks as always for listening. If you're loving it, leave us a review. Leave us some stars. Tell people about it. Share us on social media. Let people know that The 20-Sided Tavern has this excellent podcast. If you're listening and haven't come seen the show, what are you doing? We're in New York at stage 42 until May 11th. Tickets at the20sidedtavern.com. See you soon.