This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:29] Madelyn Murphy: I will also complain about TVs being in hotel hospitality mode. Have you all encountered this yet?

[0:35] Alex Stompoly: Wait, what is this? What do you mean?

[0:37] Madelyn Murphy: So, this is very dumb, but I have actually been on Reddit.

[0:41] RJ Christian: Is it a volume thing?

[0:42] Madelyn Murphy: It is a volume. It is also a timer thing.

[0:45] RJ Christian: That it goes down to low volume every time?

[0:46] Madelyn Murphy: Well, no, they've disabled certain settings on these things so you can't control everything, and one of them that they have disabled is the sleep timer, and it's a hospitality mode. So, I am three pages deep into Reddit trying to find out what code for this LG TV we have and I do to unlock it so I can use the TV to its fullest potential. Netflix shamed me last night. It went, hey, we noticed that you've watched six episodes of reality TV in a row. We can turn it off now? And I went, no, you can't.

[1:11] RJ Christian: Are you okay?

[1:12] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah.

[1:13] RJ Christian: Should we contact health services?

[1:14] Madelyn Murphy: It's a wellness check. But, like, I'm a person who I put, like, the, I'll put the volume on when I go to bed at, like, ten, and I will fall asleep to television, and you can't with these TVs because you cannot do the sleep timer, so the TV will stay on because the hotel, because they put that giant box on the back of it to, like, do their, like, opening, it disables certain things that you can't control the entirety of what the TV can do.

[1:35] Alex Stompoly: So silly.

[1:36] Madelyn Murphy: How about this? Every night at four AM, I will come into your room and I will cover the TV with a blanket.

[1:43] RJ Christian: So the TV will know it's nighttime and try to get a napsack.

[1:47] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, I'm going to train this TV like a bird.

[1:49] RJ Christian: Wait, you're not going to turn down the volume?

[1:50] Madelyn Murphy: No, I'm going to cover the TV with a blanket so that, like a bird, it learns to sleep on its own.

[1:57] RJ Christian: I like that.

[1:58] Madelyn Murphy: Give it a little treat.

[1:59] RJ Christian: I like that you decided to train the TV and not me, who could so easily just go to bed without the TV on.

[2:03] Madelyn Murphy: We're not going to train Stomp to hit the power button on his television.

[2:07] RJ Christian: I will come into your room at four AM and I'll be like, Stomp, get up and turn down the TV, damn it.

[2:11] Madelyn Murphy: No, Stomp is perfect as he is my sweet baby, so I will army crawl into this room, I will slither like a whisper, and I will...

[2:18] Alex Stompoly: Through the vents, I guess.

[2:19] Madelyn Murphy: I could fit in there.

[2:20] RJ Christian: Yeah.

[2:21] Madelyn Murphy: I could do it.

[2:22] RJ Christian: I disagree with your method, so I'll sneak in at 345 and Stomp you.

[2:24] Madelyn Murphy: No, okay, so you and I have a fight at 330 AM in the hallway. Whoever wins then does the ensuing encounter with Stomp.

[2:31] Alex Stompoly: There's some noise in the vents. It sounds like two improv actors are fighting over who's going to put a television to sleep.

[2:39] RJ Christian: See, RJ's yoked, so what I'm going to have to do is set a series of booby traps everywhere just to try to...

[2:45] Madelyn Murphy: So then at 315, you will get up to set the booby traps.

[2:49] RJ Christian: Wow, but I've already set Cassie's leg at three. It'll already be there at 330.

[2:53] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, no, that's fine. I'll just scatter nerd gummy clusters at 245 in the elevator. She'll be distracted for hours.

[2:59] RJ Christian: So at 230, I awake.

[3:03] Madelyn Murphy: And my night, my morning ablutions begin.

[3:06] RJ Christian: Ah, but at 145, I put a whole bunch of magic booster packs so the real champion would already be here to assist me.

[3:13] Madelyn Murphy: None of you anticipated that I've left a trail of boiled eggs from Connor's room.

[3:18] RJ Christian: No, Connor, please!

[3:20] Madelyn Murphy: And you know what? And at 1230, I decided to turn the TV off.

[3:25] Alex Stompoly: Welcome back to Ale and Wellmet, nerds. We're coming at you live from...

[3:31] Madelyn Murphy: Chicago!

[3:33] RJ Christian: A hotel room in Chicago, Illinois.

[3:36] Madelyn Murphy: Yes, we all sleep in this one hotel room for cast bonding.

[3:39] Alex Stompoly: And also for Stomp's TV.

[3:41] Madelyn Murphy: Like the Waltons.

[3:43] RJ Christian: I've got the blanket ready to go.

[3:45] Madelyn Murphy: I'm gonna train that TV.

[3:46] RJ Christian: Good night, Jim Bob.

[3:48] Madelyn Murphy: Gotta train your TV.

[3:52] RJ Christian: Yeah, we're here. We're hanging out. We're chatting, man. We just had our first preview.

[3:56] Madelyn Murphy: We did!

[3:57] RJ Christian: We opened in Chicago. We are doing shows. It's good to be back.

[4:01] Madelyn Murphy: You people in Chicago so far are horny as hell.

[4:06] RJ Christian: Explain.

[4:07] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, we didn't get...

[4:10] RJ Christian: I guess it does...

[4:12] Madelyn Murphy: Are we meeting the show?

[4:14] Alex Stompoly: Murray and I hit the town and we found out that people are horny.

[4:17] RJ Christian: Yeah, as someone... This is a two-part question. As someone who is from Chicago, and also as someone who didn't attend the show last night, I would like your explanation, please.

[4:26] Madelyn Murphy: Okay, well, I'd say we got how long into the actual meat of the show? I think we got to the first decision.

[4:30] RJ Christian: Yes, persuasion versus deception.

[4:33] Madelyn Murphy: Persuasion, deception, and somebody just goes, Seduce him! Like, we didn't get...

[4:39] Alex Stompoly: Nice.

[4:40] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, we were two seconds into it, and we were like, please touch some grass.

[4:44] RJ Christian: Ah, the home of the hot beef sandwich never fails to impress.

[4:49] Madelyn Murphy: Yay!

[4:50] Alex Stompoly: The home of the hot beef sandwich.

[4:53] Madelyn Murphy: Extra jus.

[4:54] RJ Christian: Yum.

[4:55] Madelyn Murphy: Yum. Oh, speaking of which, can we quickly have a little song?

[5:01] Alex Stompoly: Yes, hit us.

[5:02] Madelyn Murphy: Okay. Give us a Chicago-appropriate intro song, please.

[5:07] Alex Stompoly: Lower Wacker Drive.

[5:11] Madelyn Murphy: We filmed Batman here.

[5:14] Alex Stompoly: Hot dogs.

[5:16] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, go.

[5:17] RJ Christian: Da Bears.

[5:18] Madelyn Murphy: Da Bears. We love the Chicago...

[5:23] RJ Christian: Stop, stop, the look up here is...

[5:25] Madelyn Murphy: Wait, we're gonna finish...

[5:26] Alex Stompoly: Finish the song!

[5:27] Madelyn Murphy: We're gonna finish real strong. Lake Michigan is better than the ocean.

[5:34] RJ Christian: And Black Box beat hers.

[5:41] Madelyn Murphy: Finish it strong!

[5:42] RJ Christian: Finish it!

[5:43] Madelyn Murphy: That's my voice if I spend too much time in Chicago.

[5:47] RJ Christian: Land the plane!

[5:50] Madelyn Murphy: That's why!

[5:53] RJ Christian: Oh my god.

[5:54] Madelyn Murphy: I'm gonna cry.

[5:55] RJ Christian: I've never heard you go that hard Midwest before.

[6:01] Madelyn Murphy: This is glorious.

[6:02] RJ Christian: Oh my god.

[6:03] Madelyn Murphy: I'm crying.

[6:04] RJ Christian: Who is that?

[6:05] Madelyn Murphy: That's me if I don't leave Chicago.

[6:08] RJ Christian: Get out while you can!

[6:10] Madelyn Murphy: Alternate timeline Maddie singing about how great Lake Michigan is.

[6:14] RJ Christian: It wasn't even a song, it was just a list of fake accounts.

[6:19] Madelyn Murphy: No!

[6:20] RJ Christian: It was just a list of fake accounts.

[6:23] Madelyn Murphy: Black Box Tita!

[6:25] RJ Christian: I do love that you, the Chicago native, just did the most...

[6:28] Madelyn Murphy: It was the most...

[6:29] RJ Christian: You didn't even say roast beef sandwich.

[6:32] Madelyn Murphy: Excuse me?

[6:33] RJ Christian: Roast beef sandwich?

[6:34] Madelyn Murphy: Hot beef.

[6:37] RJ Christian: Which Batman?

[6:43] Madelyn Murphy: We filmed Batman on Lower Wacker Drive.

[6:48] RJ Christian: Are we talking Tim Burton there?

[6:50] Madelyn Murphy: No, we're talking the one with the ledger.

[6:53] RJ Christian: He's ledger, right?

[6:54] Madelyn Murphy: The Dark Knight?

[6:55] RJ Christian: Okay, the Dark Knight.

[6:56] Madelyn Murphy: They filmed it in Chicago and we're very proud.

[6:58] RJ Christian: Batman and Lawful was filmed there.

[7:00] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, the nipples.

[7:01] RJ Christian: The bat nipples were.

[7:03] Madelyn Murphy: That was so funny.

[7:05] RJ Christian: Y'all, it's truly... It's like I have to leave Chicago or my family...

[7:09] Madelyn Murphy: It's not... My name isn't Maddie, it's Maddie.

[7:12] RJ Christian: Oh lord.

[7:15] Madelyn Murphy: We're not getting that.

[7:16] RJ Christian: At least it wasn't a seducing from the audience.

[7:19] Madelyn Murphy: It was American neutral accent horniness from our opening night crowd.

[7:26] RJ Christian: The American Lawful Evil Jar was American neutral.

[7:30] Madelyn Murphy: Neutral horniness.

[7:33] RJ Christian: Chaotic Midwestern.

[7:36] Madelyn Murphy: Chaotic Midwestern indeed.

[7:39] RJ Christian: God, I love being back in the Midwest. This is awesome.

[7:42] Madelyn Murphy: It's also awesome because we are right by Lake Michigan and Watertower Place and genuinely in the heart of Chicago.

[7:49] RJ Christian: Yeah, we're here. Now you've got a radius. Come find us.

[7:56] Madelyn Murphy: Murray, you are the least subtle...

[7:58] RJ Christian: You walking down the street is the least subtle man in the world.

[8:02] Alex Stompoly: Yeah, I'm not hard to spot.

[8:03] Madelyn Murphy: Multicolored and beard flowing in the wind.

[8:06] RJ Christian: Even people who don't know you is like, that guy's done something.

[8:09] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, he's done something. That guy loves attention.

[8:12] RJ Christian: Actual true story about Murray and 27 Tavern General. Last Halloween, we had Halloween off, which was extraordinary.

[8:21] Madelyn Murphy: So we all dressed up as the X-Men in our various ways and traveled on the train to meet each other. Murray was the beast and painted his ass blue.

[8:31] RJ Christian: His whole body.

[8:33] Madelyn Murphy: My ass was one of the only parts of me that wasn't painted blue.

[8:36] RJ Christian: Not by the end of the day.

[8:38] Madelyn Murphy: And I'm going to back this up. I still have the video to this day. And I was sitting in the bar waiting for everyone. And I see this blue man walking down the street a block and a half away. He is walking with the classic where I was like, even before I saw the feet moving and I went, that's Murray.

[8:53] RJ Christian: And then pan up to see blue Murray.

[8:55] Madelyn Murphy: And this man still walks. The beast walk that he was doing was, in fact, just his everyday walk.

[9:01] RJ Christian: I can't walk like that anymore.

[9:02] Madelyn Murphy: It hurt my knee.

[9:04] RJ Christian: That's why I'm doing PT.

[9:06] Madelyn Murphy: That's with my waddle. The whole ass strut of this man is iconic.

[9:13] RJ Christian: And you can't miss it. It just has an aura of space around it.

[9:17] Madelyn Murphy: I will send you that video again. I would like you to upload it with this podcast.

[9:21] RJ Christian: I think I told this story on the podcast before, but as I was walking towards the thing, a unhoused gentleman in the East Village was like, yo, beast, let me get a dollar.

[9:32] Madelyn Murphy: And I just turned to him and went, oh, I've got five and it's yours, buddy, because he accurately.

[9:37] RJ Christian: But a little bit was also there.

[9:43] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, man.

[9:44] RJ Christian: No, he's in Chicago.

[9:46] Madelyn Murphy: He wasn't in the East.

[9:47] RJ Christian: I don't know.

[9:48] Madelyn Murphy: That's where bad shit.

[9:49] RJ Christian: I don't know who's anywhere anymore.

[9:51] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, man. Chicago is daredevil in Chicago.

[9:55] RJ Christian: No, no, no. Daredevils specifically is Hell's Kitchen only.

[10:00] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, he covers five blocks.

[10:02] RJ Christian: So it's not a fake. It's not Metropolis or Gotham. Like Daredevil is in New York City in Hell's Kitchen.

[10:08] Madelyn Murphy: Here's the fuckery about Chicago. And this is why we're so passionate about Batman being filmed here is because for some reason, not a lot gets filmed here. But guess what? I still remember. Never been kissed. Filmed in Chicago.

[10:15] RJ Christian: We're deeply proud.

[10:20] Madelyn Murphy: A classic.

[10:21] RJ Christian: Classic.

[10:22] Madelyn Murphy: Andrew Barrymore. While you were sleeping where Sandra Bullock pretends to be married to a man in a coma.

[10:28] RJ Christian: She was operating the subway.

[10:31] Madelyn Murphy: Six months ago, Diego just walked into the dressing room and was like, I saw the best movie last night. You guys know about while you were sleeping. It's amazing. And he just made everybody watch it.

[10:45] RJ Christian: It is a movie of its time starring Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman and the guy who was Sandy in the O.C.

[10:51] Madelyn Murphy: And not Gabriel Byrne.

[10:53] RJ Christian: That the guy.

[10:54] Madelyn Murphy: Not that guy. And basically, here's the whole premise. Sandy Bull. She is. This is at the time when, like, to get in and out of the Chicago subways, you there had to be an attendant there, much like with tolls in the past. So she is basically a subway toll worker. She's in love with a hot dude.

[11:11] RJ Christian: Not Gabriel Byrne.

[11:12] Madelyn Murphy: Not Gabriel Byrne, who every day comes to the stop and wait for the train. And one day he trips and he falls into the tracks, is immediately knocked into a coma, and she saves his life just in time from an oncoming subway. Flash forward to she's at the hospital to see her love, who's never met her. And she lies and says, yes, I'm his wife. So she can visit him. And then his family comes in and the lie gets perpetuated.

[11:34] RJ Christian: I think is the dad.

[11:36] Madelyn Murphy: Yes, he is. And then Bill Pullman is the brother. And she falls in love with Bill Pullman while not Gabriel Byrne to sleeping. And such is the movie. Everything somehow ends fine.

[11:45] RJ Christian: It's my favorite thing.

[11:50] Madelyn Murphy: I mean, I love a Shakespearean level farce like that, where it's like, we're OK with this? For the next 20 Christmases, you're going to have to be like, I remember the weird one when you were unconscious and I was here cozying up to your family and boning your brother. Here's some socks.

[12:09] RJ Christian: Well, also not problematic at all. Is that she had to be like where they're like, prove it. Prove that you know him that well, intimately. And she proceeds to be like, I know what is what his penis looks like. And then proceeds to describe it. And they were like, verified. The mother went, it's a mother's job. I will take a look. So it matches our files. But like, OK, to my family, I suppose, if you're listening.

[12:33] Madelyn Murphy: I for some reason am knocked into a coma and someone is saying I am married to your son. That does not need to be the gate to understand that they know me. You don't need to be like, "Well, okay, tell me what it looks like. How many balls does he have?" You know the answer? Can we get a nipple count please on our son? Like, you know, you say two, you might be wrong. I don't understand. But that's fine, that's fine. Wait, that was it? That was the gag? It wasn't, "What does his penis look like?" It was he had a basketball accident where somebody had a pencil in their pocket and he only had one testicle and she somehow knew that. And she was like, "I'll tell you why I know that." And then, and then thank you for listening to Ale!

And Well Met. While you were sleeping, fangast. That is vaguely better, I guess. That is vaguely better. Like, I mean, that's a big thing to like know you only have the one. But I go back to the thing of like, please do not ask anyone claiming to be my partner what my penis looks like. Hmm, whether you know what, whether I'm in a coma or not, please don't ask because I don't need to know that my family has the answer. I don't need, like, I don't want my partner's paying that. I don't want to wake up and people be like, "Will we stop someone from pretending to be your spouse?" Oh my god, thanks mom. How'd you do that? Well, I asked him what your dick looked like. Yeah, it's like, well, how'd you pass the question?

Would you, we were looking at it? You put up one of those, "I'm not a robot" like things, like six images of other penises that weren't mine. Like all of my sons, it's like, yeah, they said you were five. We know you're four and a half. That guy was a liar. First of all, I'm not talking about you. I'll talk about the general you. Look me dead in the eye, general you, reporting for duty. Listen, I have a lazy eye. Everyone has a small dick to me. Oh my god, I need to put that on a t-shirt, RJ. Oh, I would wear the hell out of that. Yeah, everyone has a small dick to me.

[14:25] RJ Christian: Anyway, while you were sleeping in front of a live studio audience.

[14:33] Madelyn Murphy: No, that's San Francisco. Yeah, the painted ladies. Yeah, they don't got no big bridges here. It's a lake, you can't get over it.

[14:39] Alex Stompoly: We got bridges.

[14:40] Madelyn Murphy: Oh yeah, you do. There are a bunch of famous ones. One time Dave Matthews drove over one and made the poop drop. Yeah, we recently celebrated the 20th anniversary of that and I do say the city celebrated the 20th anniversary. What a strange legacy for David and his band. Uh, yeah, you're never living that one down, man. Oh, the duck race we missed. They dump all the ducks. Is there any more silly Chicago shenanigans coming up that we can take care of?

[15:06] RJ Christian: Die the river green for fourth of Patrick for Saint Patrick's Day. There's a bunch of fun stuff. There's also like a food truck festival that's going on right now. We're gonna go to that.

[15:23] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, there's a lobster coming up. Yes, which is very strange because we don't have a lot of bringing them in from Maine.

[15:28] RJ Christian: Well, lovely, but that's where all the other, all the red lobsters do the same thing.

[15:35] Alex Stompoly: That's just lobster fest.

[15:36] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, well Chicago, America's red lobster.

[15:41] RJ Christian: Speaking of red lobster, there it is, the title of the podcast, Lobster of America.

[15:46] Madelyn Murphy: I don't disagree with that because I love red lobster.

[15:52] RJ Christian: I do too, but there was a New York's the Cheesecake Factory of America. San Francisco is the Qdoba. I don't know, and New York's the Golden Corral.

[15:59] Madelyn Murphy: What were you saying? Oh, red lobster. So, um, the whole thing about red lobster going out of business, getting bankrupt, I recently learned it was because that the previous private equity firm that had red lobster also supplied them with the shrimp. So with the unlimited shrimp, they were making a profit off of the shrimp at the cost of red lobster not being able to profit off the unlimited shrimp. Yep, so red lobster was dying, this shrimp company was profiting. It was all the same people. It was insane.

[16:27] RJ Christian: And shrimp ouroboros, fully the shrimp eating its own corporate father.

[16:36] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, what about the gumption of it all? Isn't that, isn't that that Russian witch, the Baba Gump?

[16:43] RJ Christian: Oh my god, life's like a box of chocolates and my house has chicken feet. Don't say her name.

[17:00] Madelyn Murphy: God, somebody needs to shut us up. Who gave us microphones? This is what we're here for, man. We're just hanging out being weird. I mean, this is also backstage is already like weird and chill and fun and we've moved into our new home and we're probably pissing off our neighbors in the hotel laughing to be an idiot.

[17:16] RJ Christian: It's like TSD tour, here we go.

[17:22] Madelyn Murphy: Well, you don't know is that at 3 a.m. I actually snuck into all the adjoining rooms and left egg traps.

[17:29] RJ Christian: I took care of it.

[17:30] Madelyn Murphy: Okay. Oh, and at 3:15 a.m. I fastidiously cleaned up the mess that RJ left everywhere.

[17:35] RJ Christian: The rich life going on in the vents of our hotel. It's a nice time. It's like a little nightclub up there.

[17:41] Madelyn Murphy: It's like a nice pizza joint around the corner.

[17:44] RJ Christian: They go up to the fourth floor, they got stuffed deep dish.

[17:50] Madelyn Murphy: We had a big deep dish night last night. We all went to Giordano's. We got deep in the dish.

[17:55] RJ Christian: I actually, the funny thing is I love that you guys went to Giordano's. Shout out to Giordano's, baby. Um, I had had a Giordano's pizza delivered the day before, so I went home and ate my leftover pizza and immediately fell asleep because it is the equivalent of a delicious dairy carbohydrate quaalude and I went down.

[18:16] Madelyn Murphy: It is absolutely a cheese quaalude, man. Like, god, I miss quaaludes.

[18:25] RJ Christian: And they miss you too.

[18:30] Madelyn Murphy: Stop. Were you partying in the 70s?

[18:30] RJ Christian: Yeah, were you also the Wolf of Wall Street?

[18:30] Madelyn Murphy: I'm a timeless entity.

[18:38] RJ Christian: I love these deep plate facelifts.

[18:38] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, thank you. Like tectonic plates.

[18:41] RJ Christian: Much like Joan Rivers, when I sneeze, I have to wipe my ass.

[18:46] Madelyn Murphy: Oh man, it is ridiculous. I think that was my first earnest encounter with real, I guess real, we're calling this, this is authentic deep dish Chicago pizza, Giordano's.

[18:57] Alex Stompoly: Yes, Giordano's is. And there's like a, but there's a war between that and Lou Malnati's. There's also a spot called Pequod's.

[19:02] Madelyn Murphy: Not the Lou Malnati's?

[19:08] RJ Christian: Yes, the Lou Malnati's.

[19:09] Madelyn Murphy: The Illuminati's?

[19:13] Alex Stompoly: Okay, maybe this is like the most basic question, but I heard a whisper like deep dish pizza wasn't like the Chicagoans' pizza, right? Like that locals don't eat. Is that true or what's, what?

[19:20] Madelyn Murphy: I don't know. Someone's been here. Speak for the entire city.

[19:25] RJ Christian: Yes, I haven't lived here for seven years. Let's go.

[19:30] Madelyn Murphy: So there's like their stuffed pizza, which is different than deep dish pizza. Um, and then of course there's just regular thin crust pizza. Everybody's got their opinions. We do not really do the New York slice. I will say that.

[19:41] Alex Stompoly: There's also then you got Detroit pizza, which of course is Michigan that comes in. People love that. The pizza wars are endless.

[19:46] Madelyn Murphy: But basically I would say as someone who is a stuffed pizza fan, I am about to say it basically is lasagna simplified that you could hold in your hand.

[20:00] RJ Christian: It's hand lasagna.

[20:01] Madelyn Murphy: A lasagna pot pie is what I felt like. This is what I said yesterday at mic check and I said lasagna with a boundary.

[20:04] RJ Christian: Exactly, yes. It's lasagna you can eat on the street if you were a monster.

[20:11] Madelyn Murphy: Imagine trying to like eat that while I can't.

[20:17] RJ Christian: Yeah, trying to, yeah, but you could. And I would say it's awesome. It's just sometimes I want pizza and it cannot possibly be stuffed pizza. But when I want a cheese quaalude, this is my favorite. It's my little treat.

[20:30] Madelyn Murphy: I love her work. It's my new drag name. I called it. I still wear the sea, a white wig, but you're just kind of asleep.

[20:43] RJ Christian: I just say I like to sit quietly beneath the chandelier and not do any swinging.

[20:50] Madelyn Murphy: I want to take a nap because I'm tired.

[20:59] RJ Christian: It would be great. Instead of confetti, it's just shavings of parmesan.

[21:05] Madelyn Murphy: Say when.

[21:09] RJ Christian: No, it was last night's pizza. It was a great time. I think the funniest moment though was when a group of people who were not all like born and raised New Yorkers, but clearly we'd all been there for some time with the show, a bunch of, you know, essentially the New Yorkers sit down at a pizza place, go to order a pie, and the waiter with love and the heart looked at us and went, "Okay, it's gonna be 45 minutes to an hour." And we all were like, "What do you, what? In that time I could have, what? What, you have to, what are you flying to Italy? We had a minute draining the mozzarella. What are we doing?"

[21:39] Madelyn Murphy: Here's the unique experience with the stuffed pizza, and I'm glad that you had it. Much like how they're like a couple's test is can you go to IKEA and survive? Yeah, this is, can you, if you are a Chicagoan, can you go on a date with someone and you can order a stuffed pizza in the restaurant and still want to talk to each other by the time the pizza arrives?

[21:54] RJ Christian: Do we get a sampler platter?

[21:59] Madelyn Murphy: I would never go on a stuffed pizza date until that'd be day 15. I'd want no one to see me eat that ever.

[22:05] RJ Christian: I just met you. Let's watch each other eat a pound of melted mozzarella.

[22:12] Madelyn Murphy: Oh no, see, I love it as a litmus test early. I'd be like, can we have banter for 45 to, oh, an hour? And on top of that, are you ready to see the true me, which is eating what I can do? I want you to watch me try to eat 48 straight inches of melted cheese and I'm gonna use my fork for 15 seconds and then be like, "This is not enough," and dig in with both hands. And if you still like me, bland just feral consumption.

[22:43] RJ Christian: Yeah, god, that's part of myself. There's grease on the bottom of your feet and you don't know why after this experience.

[22:48] Madelyn Murphy: And if you listen, if you can't handle me at my cheesiest, you don't get me at my best.

[22:55] RJ Christian: I might argue that at your cheesiest is your best.

[23:02] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, right? That's what I think and say it again. It only goes down from here.

[23:09] RJ Christian: Feet grease is the peak.

[23:13] Madelyn Murphy: That's really enough with dating. Try to put your best foot forward. I want you to just see me. I want you to see me what 16 years in looks like from date one. It's the previews and that's it.

[23:21] RJ Christian: Preview of coming attractions.

[23:26] Madelyn Murphy: You gotta get grease, foot grease.

[23:30] RJ Christian: Sorry, I went somewhere.

[23:33] Madelyn Murphy: No, you, there was two paths in front of us, foot grease.

[23:39] RJ Christian: You could have either gone, you went footloose or you could have gone grease.

[23:47] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, yeah.

[23:48] RJ Christian: Oh, grease feet.

[23:50] Madelyn Murphy: Hey, we're burning up the fist first date, greasy go grease feet.

[23:55] RJ Christian: There we go. We've done it.

[23:56] Madelyn Murphy: You edit that sound bite out.

[23:58] RJ Christian: Obligatory.

[23:59] Madelyn Murphy: I will not.

[24:00] RJ Christian: Obligatory musical comedy.

[24:02] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, decrease.

[24:05] RJ Christian: We gotta go Mama Mia, which is set in Greece.

[24:10] Madelyn Murphy: Well, yeah, just like featuring a Swedish band.

[24:16] RJ Christian: IKEA.

[24:17] Madelyn Murphy: We're back, but I would like to know like what is something that you guys want to experience in Chicago or like what is intriguing?

[24:22] RJ Christian: Hell yeah, you.

[24:30] Madelyn Murphy: This first few days we've been here, I am excited. The last time I was here, it was cold as fuck. It was December and January of 2022 and I've enjoyed my time because I like this Chicago will let you get drunk. I love that they're like, "Hey, welcome to our 7-Eleven. Would you like a liter of Jack Daniels? We can do that for you." But we're doing a lot of like just sort of inside, like hiding from the cold. Like negative 27 is no good for your boy from Georgia. Cannot handle it. So I'm excited even for three days so far just to be wandering around and like enjoying being out of doors and like I want to get to know Lake Michigan, man. That's my, I want to go to the beach. I want to splash around in there like it's...

[25:06] RJ Christian: It's just an enormous lake, man. They're usually not that big.

[25:11] Maddie Murphy: Yeah. I believe Chicago has the largest public lakefront in the whole country.

[25:16] RJ Christian: That makes sense.

[25:17] Murray: It goes on for miles.

[25:19] RJ Christian: Yeah. Well, I'm going to enjoy several square feet of it.

[25:23] Maddie Murphy: Yeah, it's awesome.

[25:25] RJ Christian: But yeah, that's my big one. I keep walking down at night. I'm just like, you know, a couple blocks away and just like walking down and looking at it and be like, look at the size of that thing. Crazy big lake.

[25:39] Stomp: I mean, it's such a lovely city. I just want to start walking, you know, let's just it's one of those things. And I sort of felt this in D.C. where it's like, no, any corner I turn, it's just something I've never seen before in my whole life. And this is such a like walkable city and such a chill city. I really just want to like explore and find and walk, walk in the weird watering hole. Like I walk back up past a place called like Mama's Place and they're like live band karaoke. I'm like, you will see me. You will see me in there.

[26:08] RJ Christian: Well, that's that's the nice thing about at least this first part of the tour, right? Because everywhere we've gone and are going to up and through, you know, 2025 is a residency almost. I mean, we're here for two months. We really get to like live. Like there's no rush to like hit a bunch of quote unquote, like tourist attractions. Like you get to experience like living in Chicago and really feel it out. So like that's that's for me, like I'm super excited. I didn't really get to in D.C. because of where we were located and I wasn't up in the neighborhood too awfully much like where we stayed in D.C. was lovely, but, you know, Foggy Bottom was a little like precarious. Ironically, not the neighborhood.

No, I mean, I could have gone more into like Georgetown, but that's a college town and everything was out. And then like when we finally got there that like last evening, we were up before we went and did dinner at Maddie. But I think I'm just excited to like live in Chicago. And I've got a bunch of friends here from my renaissance fair days who like after Pennsylvania came up here and this was the like hub city and they live here and they reside here and they fly out and work coast to coast. So it'll be nice to catch up with people.

[27:12] Maddie Murphy: Yeah, I also want to go see like I'm excited to get into the like local scene, excited to go see you do some other stuff. Aren't you doing something on Friday?

[27:21] RJ Christian: I am. Yeah, it's been really nice to reconnect. Thank you for the plug. I didn't get in there. By the time this podcast comes out, it could have. No, it'll still have happened. This podcast comes out like 30 minutes after we record it.

[27:34] Stomp: Well, I'm going to immediately. It's a slow, slow release delay here, but this is actually a plug of something that will happen before you're listening. The day that it drops in like an hour. Come see my beautiful friends.

[27:49] Maddie Murphy: Yes. If you want to use super fun double Fiji on Friday, you could come see the 20 sided tavern and then you can dash on over to the Annoyance Theater because I will be doing a show called Hitchcock Tales, which is a show that I did for many, many years before moving to New York. And it is a super fun, again, super narrative driven, completely improvised show in the style of Alfred Hitchcock.

[28:14] RJ Christian: I love that.

[28:15] Maddie Murphy: So good. Yeah, but I'm I'm lucky. I have a huge community here and to get to just jump in and out and kind of be like back in action has been so fun. Not to not to derail this real quick, but you were just talking about like completely improvised. So for anyone listening who's excited to come and see that is the is the setup of the show then based off of like an audience suggestion, you all then instigate a Alfred Hitchcock esque style like long form.

[28:41] Maddie Murphy: Yes. So this is a almost two hour show itself, complete with period costuming, a musician who is improvising along with us, either a cellist or a pianist. Typically, even our light designer is also doing it with us. And basically the whole premise is we come out, we get a suggestion of a fear, but a fear that is unique to you. So as opposed to sharks or heights, been there, done that. What is a very specific fear from my grandmother's pet shark?

[29:06] RJ Christian: That honestly, perfect. His name was in the heights and I hated him.

[29:11] Maddie Murphy: Into heights. Grandma was ahead of her time, behind her time. Lifetime. A musical theater fan. A lifetime movie. Uh, but yeah, we'll come up with a title based off of that fear. And from there we'll do an entire, uh, comedic, but also thriller.

[29:30] Stomp: Wild. I'm very excited for that.

[29:32] Maddie Murphy: Oh, that sounds like a blast. Okay. My, well, my parents are coming to town. So maybe I can convince them to come out and also support.

[29:39] RJ Christian: They're going to be, they get into town on Friday.

[29:40] Maddie Murphy: Yes. And that's my, you know, my honest hope is not to be sound super, um, uh, cheesy like a deep dish pizza, but it really is such a joy to be like, uh, the 20 sided tavern crew is here. And what we do has so many parallels to things that are available here in Chicago. And it's so awesome to be like, hi, please meet such and such. Uh, again, my company is high stakes productions. I'm a co-founder of it. I just, I'm like, I just want all y'all to meet and be in a room because it will be gangbusters. When we didn't do nearly much as much enough of that. The last time we were here, like there was not as much scene penetration, uh, wow.

[30:20] RJ Christian: The face that you made is, I know, I knew I was saying it like my prep prescription before I came had, I didn't know about all the scene penetration, but yeah. And, and mutual of that.

[30:33] Maddie Murphy: Oh God. Yeah. But I want, I want also like local people. I think we're going to start getting some like local folks to come and be like our NPCs and stuff. And like, it's going to be, I'm excited for that. Like I'm just be like part of the Chicago improv scene as opposed to stopping through for a minute and then leaving.

[30:54] RJ Christian: Oh man. Oh God. It's gonna be so much fun. I'm excited to see the show on Friday, man. I love, I love hearing about that. It's a fun, that's good shit.

[31:00] Maddie Murphy: Thanks. Yeah. I'm just, I'm really excited. And again, it's like, it's just cool to be like, oh man, I love stories. So now I just get to be like more stories, more community. My mom is here. So Jodi, Jodi, shout out to my mama. She is also the ultimate, just like support of this show and all y'all. So just know like she is coming on Thursday, our official opening night of the national tour. And she's already called me four times. She's debating which kind of cloak to wear.

[31:24] RJ Christian: Cause she's kind of close.

[31:25] Maddie Murphy: Which kind of cloak Jodi's ability. She's this, this beautiful goblin of mine, um, has never played D and D in her life. I'm gonna teach her, but she is here for a theme. So she fully is like, what can I come in a cloak? Fine. She didn't even let me answer the question. Just like a cloak and a headpiece. Sure. The idea, like, okay, your mother, fierce fashion icon rolling up to, and this theater that we're playing at is, is gorgeous. It's an amazing space. It is the same amount of people that stage 42 had, but the way it's done is it's much more intimate and beautiful. It's also attached to a mall and just outside the American girl doll store. So for your mother to come rolling in to like a high, like met opera outfit, and then someone is just buying like Samantha next door and her like little, like tiny Mary Jane shoes is going to send me.

[32:25] RJ Christian: Oh, here, here's the best. She's got her shoes. She's got the accessories and she's having dinner before opening night at the Harry Carrey's restaurant. And that's in the mall attached to the theater.

[32:37] Maddie Murphy: Oh, and she, if you think that she is going to have dinner and then change into her fit, you are mistaken. This queen is coming head to toe. We dress for dinner in this house. And she loves hot dogs. So she's going to be eating a hot dog and an opera cloak.

[32:49] RJ Christian: If she was a hot dog, would she eat herself?

[32:51] Maddie Murphy: Sorry. Harry Carrey, Will Ferrell.

[32:57] RJ Christian: No, I know where you're at. Did you ever, has anyone ever seen the statistic? You're talking about hot dog. Um, the statistic that like every hot dog you eat takes like 10 years off your life.

[33:05] Maddie Murphy: Yeah.

[33:05] RJ Christian: Like 10 minutes, 10 minutes off your life.

[33:11] Maddie Murphy: It's like every hot dog takes 10 minutes off your life. And I saw that one day. And the thing I sent in my friend group chat from my friends at PA has said, it's been fun. I have about 30 minutes.

[33:20] RJ Christian: God, Joey Chestnut.

[33:22] Maddie Murphy: Oh, what a, what an honor.

[33:24] RJ Christian: Oh, the competitive eater, right? He eats like 70 hot dogs.

[33:27] Maddie Murphy: A competition dude is, you know, the way things are going, I'd rather eat the hot dog than live. I'm just going to say it right now. What a way to go. Just burning an hour every July 4th.

[33:37] Maddie Murphy: That's that's acceptable.

[33:38] RJ Christian: Burning an hour.

[33:39] Maddie Murphy: Yes.

[33:40] RJ Christian: Wait, no, 70.

[33:41] Maddie Murphy: Oh, 70.

[33:42] RJ Christian: Oh, that's seven hours.

[33:43] Maddie Murphy: 700 minutes. It's a whole day.

[33:47] RJ Christian: Hold on. Let's sing the song. 600 hot dogs.

[33:50] Maddie Murphy: Um, I'm so excited. Your mom's going to be here. Hopefully they can't.

[33:53] RJ Christian: Uh, yeah. The Stompoli's arrive Friday afternoon.

[33:56] Maddie Murphy: Because you are also from the Midwest, Missouri.

[33:58] RJ Christian: I am.

[33:59] Maddie Murphy: So there's also an eight hour pop up. Here's the thing. That's just an eight hour drive.

[34:01] RJ Christian: God, I love people. That's the Midwest way, right? I remember the other day, a couple months ago, I went to visit some friends to our New York time. It just ended. And so I was back in Chicago and some friends were in Des Moines. And I'm like, oh, easy peasy day trip. Four and a half hour road trip. No problem. There's something about if it's less than 10 hours, you go. Wonderful. I'll see you in a day.

[34:25] Maddie Murphy: I mean, if it's less than five hours, it becomes a day trip, right? Like you can.

[34:29] RJ Christian: I know. I mean, we've got people coming into the show already. And we did last time. They're like, oh, yeah, we drove in from like Indiana three. We drove in from Toledo. We're seeing the show tonight and driving home.

[34:40] Maddie Murphy: Midwest. Midwest car.

[34:41] RJ Christian: Matt doesn't make sense because in Missouri you can be driving for three hours and have never left the state.

[34:44] Maddie Murphy: Oh, absolutely. I'm from. I've spent a lot of time in Tennessee, man. You want to drive from Memphis to Knoxville. It's like get get in your car and stay there.

[34:54] RJ Christian: You're going straight for a long time. My sweet Georgia boy. I've driven to Miami twice and meaning we had to go for the entire you went to onion country of Georgia. And at first I was like, oh, George had never been through it. By hour eight. I was like, hello, get me out of this. And they were like, we're only halfway through Georgia.

[35:13] Maddie Murphy: Welcome to the gopher tortoise country used to make the drive a lot from when I lived in Pennsylvania, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and I drive back to see my mom at Christmas because I take the van and I drive back to Shawnee, Kansas, and that is a 15 and a half hour drive.

[35:25] RJ Christian: See, that's real.

[35:26] Maddie Murphy: One day.

[35:27] RJ Christian: One day. Yeah, I get up. I get up at like 4 a.m. And I hit the road and I get to my mom's door by 7 p.m. Just in time for dinner.

[35:33] Maddie Murphy: My sister lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I drive down from New York is about 13 hours. And my wife will be like, should we fly? And I'm like, I don't mess with airports. It's just one day. Miss 13 hours. I mean, if we get in planes and you got to take a cab, you got to wait. I mean, that's basically like eight or nine hours of travel. And what's the difference between eight and 13?

[35:52] RJ Christian: Y'all are different to me. I to be being a car is suffering. I that. Oh, I get. Oh, my God. I can stop wherever I want. I can't conk out in the car like I can in a plane. I'm driving. I shouldn't conk out.

[36:04] Maddie Murphy: OK, well, I mean, make the trip faster as someone who doesn't as someone who doesn't sleep, period. I'm like, I'm not sleeping on plan. I'm not sleeping in a car. That's when I get my podcasting. And that's when I go on a 12 hour podcast, a chat, man, a road trip chat, dude, where it's like just quiet for like 45 minutes. And then just whoever's in the passenger seat just turns to you and is like everything about how worry about dying in a tar pit like most people. Is that weird?

[36:32] RJ Christian: That's what I'll turn to you. And for some reason, I'm wearing a veil and I'll be like, what's the biggest hurt in you that you would like me to know about from your childhood?

[36:41] Maddie Murphy: It's just you and the road and your trauma. I thought quicksand would be a bigger deal than actually wondering. That was really prevalent. And then I became an adult and I said, oh, that's not as normal as cartoons made it out.

[36:54] RJ Christian: I also had a weird fear of quicksand, but specifically more so a fear of wet cement, wet cement and cement trucks because of the Flintstones movie where the bad guy at the end gets caught in wet cement and it immediately encases him in stone like he freezes immediately.

[37:11] Maddie Murphy: And I don't remember who the bad guy in the Flintstones movie is.

[37:41] Madelyn Murphy: Here's what we're going to do y'all I grabbed my phone, get ready.

[37:47] Alex Stompoly: So, not, not Peter Gabriel.

[37:49] RJ Christian: Gabriel Byrne is Kyle Maclachlan.

[37:51] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, which is Kyle Maclachlan.

[37:53] RJ Christian: Kyle Maclachlan is absolutely not, not Gabriel Byrne.

[37:56] Alex Stompoly: I am the guy I'm thinking about. I am about to bust open my own butt right now.

[38:01] Madelyn Murphy: Because I just realized.

[38:02] RJ Christian: Bust open your butt.

[38:03] Alex Stompoly: It's full of cheese, careful.

[38:04] Madelyn Murphy: Elizabeth Taylor.

[38:05] RJ Christian: Elizabeth Taylor was in the Flintstones.

[38:07] Madelyn Murphy: I just remembered. She played Pearl Slaghoople.

[38:10] Alex Stompoly: Pearl Slaghoople?

[38:11] RJ Christian: Slaghoople? I don't think you can call people that anymore.

[38:16] Madelyn Murphy: That's really dating itself.

[38:18] RJ Christian: That's the 90s. Can you censor that please?

[38:20] Alex Stompoly: This is a banger cast.

[38:22] Madelyn Murphy: Okay, so not, not Gabriel Byrne is Kyle Maclachlan. They spent so much money on that movie dude.

[38:26] RJ Christian: It's Rosie O'Donnell and John Goodman.

[38:28] Madelyn Murphy: John Goodman, yeah. And like, it's a big physical set too.

[38:33] RJ Christian: I love that. It's like, let's build a huge plastic thing for...

[38:36] Madelyn Murphy: Elizabeth Taylor's character is Rosie O'Donnell's mom.

[38:39] RJ Christian: I think so. I think so.

[38:41] Madelyn Murphy: And she's in for like one scene and I remember.

[38:43] RJ Christian: Betty's maiden name is Slaghoople?

[38:47] Madelyn Murphy: I really. I really. I just wanted to say Slaghoople again. I could Google this but I would prefer us to debate it.

[38:54] Alex Stompoly: Also just real quick because I couldn't let it go. Not Gabriel Byrne's is Peter Gallagher.

[39:00] RJ Christian: Yes, God. Peter Gallagher.

[39:02] Madelyn Murphy: Peter Gallagher and Kyle Maclachlan and Gabriel Byrne. Those are the same dude in different fonts.

[39:06] Alex Stompoly: Yeah.

[39:07] RJ Christian: Oh yeah, like the Ryan Murphy of it all.

[39:09] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah. What if I presented this white boy in italics?

[39:12] Alex Stompoly: Yeah.

[39:13] RJ Christian: More of a Times New Roman.

[39:15] Madelyn Murphy: Yes. Courier New.

[39:17] RJ Christian: Yeah. Timothee Chalamet's Times New Roman to Tom Holland's, uh, yeah, Cooper Gothic.

[39:23] Madelyn Murphy: Timothee Chalamet already, that sounds like a font. Be like, ah, change it from Comic Sans. Put it in Chalamet.

[39:29] RJ Christian: Dude, don't submit your resume in Chalamet dude. That's not a serious font.

[39:33] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah. Sans Chalamet.

[39:36] RJ Christian: Oh no, Dune!

[39:39] Madelyn Murphy: That'd be Dune 3.

[39:42] RJ Christian: Hey, what's Timothee's favorite month?

[39:46] Madelyn Murphy: Chalamet!

[39:47] RJ Christian: Buh. It's gonna be Chalamet.

[39:51] Madelyn Murphy: I think the French sang that song.

[39:57] RJ Christian: Oh no, sorry. That's Chalamet.

[40:01] Madelyn Murphy: Chalamet the God. Chalamet played Charlemagne, because it feels like we're missing an easy layup there.

[40:09] RJ Christian: If anyone, I think right now this is the perfect case study of, we've just been trying to talk about Chicago, and if anyone wants to know what a collective Borg TST mind is, you're experiencing, this is what it is 24-7.

[40:21] Madelyn Murphy: I mean, that's what the podcast is, it's like, here's 45 minutes of how we behave around each other always.

[40:27] RJ Christian: How intense is nominative determinism, really, you know? Why hasn't Prince played Prince?

[40:32] Madelyn Murphy: Prince should have played a Prince.

[40:34] RJ Christian: Or a Popper, I guess.

[40:39] Madelyn Murphy: There's some pop star on the other side of the world named Popper, who's like, I spy that guy.

[40:44] RJ Christian: John Popper!

[40:45] Madelyn Murphy: John Popper and Prince! Of Blues Traveler fame.

[40:47] RJ Christian: Hold on! Prince and the Popper?

[40:49] Madelyn Murphy: Oh my god! They should have made such an album together.

[40:51] RJ Christian: Wait, Murray, we need to make that movie.

[40:53] Madelyn Murphy: Well, as a game, I mean, I've seen Prince and the Popper's, oh, Popper's.

[40:57] RJ Christian: Prince and the Popper's and the Popper's. Sorry, sorry.

[40:59] Madelyn Murphy: Different film, different film. That's just Prince just fucking wailing on Popper's.

[41:03] RJ Christian: That's just the biopic of your life.

[41:06] Madelyn Murphy: Prince and the Popper's.

[41:08] RJ Christian: No, you're King and the Popper's.

[41:10] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, thank you. King Popper's.

[41:12] RJ Christian: Well, sorry, it's the early years. Mr. Popper's Penguins.

[41:14] Madelyn Murphy: It's a song, Rise to Glory. Just a bunch of sleepy penguins.

[41:19] RJ Christian: Mr. Popper's Penguins. Stuff all over their beaks.

[41:22] Madelyn Murphy: Man, I can't. This spring, more than the VHS cleaner, more than the VHS was clean.

[41:27] RJ Christian: That actually brings me to like, I think this is, here's a road trip question. Be like, okay, there is a threshold where people are like, at one point you grew up and I was like, at one point you embrace your full ass freaky eccentric self.

[41:38] Madelyn Murphy: And let's say in any case, there's the question of like, oh, if I just inherited millions and millions of dollars and let my freak flag fly fully funded, this is where I'd be.

[41:47] RJ Christian: And I'm like, I think that there's an age of just like, this is when you just are like, fuck it. I'm completely my eccentric self.

[41:54] Madelyn Murphy: So I'm going to say, and I'll also caveat and be like, everybody gets $15 million, sure. And mine is people are like, in your 50s or in your 60s. I'm like, nah, I think I've got maybe two, three years left where I follow any social conventions and then I'm fully just going to...

[42:10] RJ Christian: You'd just become a Kaftan person.

[42:11] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, and you'd become King Poppers and have your army of pet penguins.

[42:15] RJ Christian: Yeah, I would just be. King Poppers. I would be Madame Kaftan and I just don't wear shoes and I eat brownie batter for breakfast.

[42:23] Madelyn Murphy: I talk about teeth a lot and, you know, various other things. So much happens to you and I in two days.

[42:33] RJ Christian: I become America's version of the penguin from Batman, but a little bit queerer.

[42:39] Madelyn Murphy: So it's not, it's Oswald Gobblepot.

[42:42] RJ Christian: Like I'm over here.

[42:44] Madelyn Murphy: Oswald Gobblecock.

[42:46] RJ Christian: Oswald Gobblecock.

[42:50] Madelyn Murphy: Batman.

[42:51] RJ Christian: Yeah.

[42:52] Madelyn Murphy: I love it. I love it. I mean, it's been a huge year already. Two or three more years and I'll be ready to go.

[42:57] RJ Christian: Yeah. I've lived my life. I'm good to go.

[42:59] Madelyn Murphy: Let's see. I mean, I'll be. I'll be. I'm a crisp six hot dogs away from it as well.

[43:04] RJ Christian: I did the math on that. Joey Chestnut, if he eats 70 hot dogs in that time, loses approximately 11.67 hours of his life.

[43:15] Madelyn Murphy: Wow.

[43:16] RJ Christian: Okay. So it's like every two and a half years he loses a day.

[43:20] Madelyn Murphy: That seems like a reasonable price for glory.

[43:23] RJ Christian: Wow. That's a really dystopian idea. Your hot dog timer that's above your head.

[43:30] Madelyn Murphy: Could you imagine like every year for just like your real quick glimpse of fame, some deity goes, all right, I'm taking like what? Like, I don't know, two days from you. Have fun.

[43:41] RJ Christian: Joey Chestnut has made a Faustian bargain.

[43:43] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah. His warlock pack.

[43:45] RJ Christian: It's a Braustian bargain.

[43:47] Madelyn Murphy: A Braustian bargain. With that underworld deity, Nathan.

[43:52] RJ Christian: Oh, no, it's not kosher. But surprisingly enough, it's Nathan Fillion.

[43:58] Madelyn Murphy: He doesn't know why he's there. With the bowl cut.

[44:02] RJ Christian: Bowl cut Nathan Fillion?

[44:04] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, yeah. I did just see Superman and the entire time I went, wow, that guy looks like Nathan Fillion.

[44:09] RJ Christian: This is going to blow your mind. And then didn't Google it for another week and then eventually went, I want to know what that guy who looks like Nathan Fillion is. And then went, it is Nathan Fillion.

[44:21] Madelyn Murphy: I mean, that's a really, I think that's an incredible review of his performance.

[44:25] RJ Christian: Yeah. Really disappeared into the role.

[44:28] Madelyn Murphy: He's never been that freaky and awful. Let's find out.

[44:31] RJ Christian: Oh, it's Nathan Fillion. God, I miss Firefly.

[44:35] Madelyn Murphy: I do too. It's a great show. It's, you know, Rip. And they're redoing Buffy and not Firefly.

[44:42] RJ Christian: What are you going to do? Interesting.

[44:45] Madelyn Murphy: God made that money, dude. Sarah Michelle Gellar hadn't done anything in a while. Good for her.

[44:50] RJ Christian: I would prefer, though, if it's like Buffy on the latter half of life and she's struggling and it's like shows her waking up every day, just past middle age and hung over and it's called Puffy.

[45:03] Madelyn Murphy: I'd be interested in Puffy.

[45:04] RJ Christian: Puffy the vampire slayer.

[45:07] Madelyn Murphy: Again, Stomp's face is disgusted that he's sitting next to me. That's the content.

[45:12] RJ Christian: A24 Buffy remake would be Puffy. She's killed all the vampires. There's no vampires left to slay.

[45:18] Madelyn Murphy: Now she just has to slay her worst enemy, A.G.

[45:22] RJ Christian: On we.

[45:23] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah. On we. Okay, A24, if you're listening, sponsored by Nathan's Hot Dogs, Puffy.

[45:29] RJ Christian: It's Buffy recovering from a deep plane facelift.

[45:32] Madelyn Murphy: Puffy. Completely like bloated and covered in bandages the whole series.

[45:38] RJ Christian: Everyone's like, what's it going to look like? We want to know who's under there.

[45:40] Madelyn Murphy: For five seasons, they keep teasing the bandages.

[45:47] RJ Christian: And it's Sarah Michelle Gellar under all of them. She has to do four hours of makeup every day.

[45:51] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, no, she's only on set for one day. It's like different actors every time.

[45:54] RJ Christian: Oh, we're doing like a soap opera style.

[45:58] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, it's like one day it's like I'm playing Buffy for some reason. Yeah, the actress left the show, so they immediately had him get facial reconstructive surgery.

[46:06] RJ Christian: She was in a car accident. We did all we could.

[46:08] Madelyn Murphy: Did you ever watch? Okay, did anyone ever watch?

[46:11] RJ Christian: Yeah, maybe.

[46:12] Madelyn Murphy: So not the original run from the 80s into the 90s dynasty, but the CW reboot that they did?

[46:18] RJ Christian: I did not.

[46:19] Madelyn Murphy: So, phenomenal. Anything on in the aughts in CW was so great.

[46:24] RJ Christian: Nicolette Sheridan started as the Alexis Carrington character, which was a really big reveal, like super great.

[46:32] Madelyn Murphy: And then she left the show after season two to go take care of family stuff, but they couldn't get rid of the character.

[46:37] RJ Christian: So then in that scene where it was her last episode, her son, the actor playing her son, threw her face first into a fire.

[46:45] Madelyn Murphy: So she had to get reconstruction.

[46:47] RJ Christian: And so she had to get reconstruction, but they hadn't recast the actress yet.

[46:50] Madelyn Murphy: So then Elizabeth Giles, who played Fallon, also played Alexis Carrington because then the storyline was that Alexis had gotten facial reconstruction surgery to look like her daughter.

[46:58] RJ Christian: Amazing.

[46:59] Madelyn Murphy: So Elizabeth Giles played both Fallon and Alexis, and then when they were ready, then they finally recast Alexis. They had her get surgery again.

[47:06] RJ Christian: And then Elaine Hendricks played her through the end of the show.

[47:11] Madelyn Murphy: So it was the same character played three different times. It was brilliant. And I love stuff like that.

[47:15] RJ Christian: Do we have soap opera as one of our chaos chart? Is it in genre bend or are we screwing up?

[47:21] Madelyn Murphy: Because it should absolutely be in there. That would be so great.

[47:24] RJ Christian: They just immediately start slamming acid into each other's faces and having reconstruction surgery and being like, the wizard's been my dad the whole time.

[47:33] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, I would be like, we're all identical twins. And the only way we can tell is that our dicks look alike.

[47:41] RJ Christian: Quick, somebody get into a coma. Let's evaluate what that situation is.

[47:46] Madelyn Murphy: Wow, your face was in the fire.

[47:48] RJ Christian: Persuasion or deception.

[47:51] Madelyn Murphy: Dick based.

[47:55] RJ Christian: I will deceive you into thinking you have one testicle.

[48:00] Madelyn Murphy: Well, I think this is a lovely place for us to end. We've been chatting for a while. Beautiful.

[48:07] RJ Christian: Thanks, friends, as always for listening. We'll be off next week while I go and sit by a lake.

[48:14] Madelyn Murphy: But then we'll be back and hanging out. Not Michigan. A smaller lake.

[48:18] RJ Christian: Murray is taking a well-deserved vacation.

[48:21] Madelyn Murphy: A manageable lake in Maine. I'm going to go do that and then we'll be back to jamming.

[48:27] RJ Christian: And we're going to be sat in Chicago for a minute. Come see us.

[48:30] Madelyn Murphy: Come see us. Go see Hitch Cocktails Friday.

[48:34] RJ Christian: If you're listening to this this Friday or tomorrow. What's the date?

[48:39] Madelyn Murphy: Friday's date. That would be Friday, August 15th, 2025.

[48:44] RJ Christian: 9:30 p.m. Central.

[48:47] Madelyn Murphy: Thank you.

[48:50] RJ Christian: Amazing. Amazing. We're here.

[48:56] Madelyn Murphy: I think that's good. We just say Chicago.

[48:58] RJ Christian: Thank you so much. We love you. This is rad.

[49:01] Madelyn Murphy: What a great place to get to really sit down for two months and be absolute little goblin freaks with all y'all.

[49:06] RJ Christian: Yes, prepare for Maddie to steal all of your teeth while she eats brownie batter in her caftan.

[49:11] Madelyn Murphy: Lower Wacker Drive. The Bears. The Chicago White Sox versus the Cubs.

[49:21] RJ Christian: Oh, who's going to win the World Series?

[49:24] Madelyn Murphy: There's no melody anymore either. Harry Carey. No ketchup.

[49:35] RJ Christian: No ketchup.

[49:38] Madelyn Murphy: Nat 20. Alien woman.

[49:56] RJ Christian: Alien woman.