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[0:30] Alex: Welcome back, Adventurers! It's Aalyn Well Met. The Twenty Sided Tavern's official podcast. I'm Alex. There's a whole bunch of people in this little room with me. Everybody want to sound off?

[0:40] Cassidy: Yeah, you turned it to me right as I was burping. I'm Cassidy.

[0:46] Aabria: Hi, I'm Aabria.

[0:47] Conner: I'm Conner.

[0:51] Will: And if you want to listen to The Twenty Sided Tavern's unofficial podcast, DM me.

[0:57] Cassidy: You started it. I got a lot of thoughts. A lot of opinions.

[1:00] Will: It's just you screaming in your closet.

[1:01] Cassidy: I don't feel like I'm giving the platform to share. People send you a voice note. It will be one hour long.

[1:05] Will: Yeah, yeah. If you want to get on my sub stack where I just send you personalized voice notes every Thursday at whatever hour I feel like it.

[1:10] Conner: And I'm Will. My first subscriber.

[1:21] Cassidy: Hell yeah. Don't put that on me. So yeah, man, we're playing a game. Conner, you're in charge now.

[1:24] Conner: That's all you get from me. I may be in charge in the sense that I'm introducing it, but this is a game we're all going to play together. There's no facilitator here. This is a story game called For the Queen by Alex Roberts. And it's bomb. Aabria has played it before. I have played it before. And these three little munchkins are new to this circus.

[1:41] Cassidy: Fresh.

[1:48] Will: Wow. What kind of circuses do you attend where munchkins are the performers?

[1:53] Conner: The good ones.

[1:54] Cassidy: Okay. The good ones in Oz.

[1:58] Aabria: I feel like there's at least a couple books about that.

[2:00] Will: The ones at Dunkin Donuts.

[2:14] Conner: Can I be honest, when I said the word munchkin, I had no idea what franchise or IP they belong to. I just had like a generalized Keebler elf in my head.

[2:20] Cassidy: Are they the blue ones?

[2:22] Will: That's Avatar.

[2:27] Conner: So here's the deal. The way that we're going to learn this to play this game is by going through a series of cards. We are going to read one and pass it. I will start. Card number one. Go around the table clockwise, taking turns reading these cards aloud. We're just going to like pass the deck.

[2:33] Aabria: Do we all know about Wittershins?

[2:35] Cassidy: Nope.

[2:36] Aabria: I do. But only recently.

[2:38] Will: Yeah. I blame it on Brennan, actually. Everything new thing I learned is from him against my will.

[2:43] Conner: I mean, Wittershins is some like really smart white boy Terry Pratchett nerd.

[2:47] Aabria: 100%.

[2:48] Cassidy: I don't know what you're talking about.

[2:53] Conner: In a whimsical way.

[2:54] Aabria: I know. The look on your face. I love you.

[2:56] Cassidy: Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

[2:58] Conner: It's from Discworld. It's the way that Discworld spins. It's a real thing. It's a real world.

[3:02] Aabria: Or a real, real, whatever.

[3:07] Conner: Okay. I can't read. This land has been in turmoil for as long as any of you have been alive. The Queen has decided to undertake a long and perilous journey to broker an alliance with a distant power.

[3:17] Cassidy: Word.

[3:18] Conner: The Queen has chosen all of you and no one else to be her retinue and accompany her on this journey. She chose you because she knows that you love her.

[3:24] Aabria: You are welcome to look through the illustrated cards for inspiration.

[3:27] Conner: We have just done that. We've taken about 20 tarot-sized cards that have different Queens on them and we've narrowed it down to five that we particularly like. We are going to take a pause in our circle of reading cards and we are going to select our Queen.

[3:36] Cassidy: The font is tiny.

[3:37] Aabria: This is literally the argument we were having outside the door. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Card six says we're supposed to find it there.

[3:43] Conner: This is sort of like mom and dad are arguing about this game.

[3:46] Aabria: This is maybe my actual favorite TTRPG. I have purchased this game maybe 12 times. I give away the decks constantly.

[3:54] Cassidy: That's cool.

[3:55] Conner: It's very already RPG tarot.

[3:57] Aabria: Yeah, 100%. It's the easiest one to bring to a con, find someone who loves it as much as you, and go like, great, take it home. That's yours. So I'm very excited to be playing this.

[4:06] Will: Let's each just give a little visual description for the podcast to one of these cards.

[4:10] Aabria: I have described this Queen. This is Queen number 23, I believe, if that's how we're numbering this.

[4:14] Conner: Yeah, Queen number 23.

[4:15] Aabria: This is in the cyberpunk vein of things. However, I described this Queen as a concept, a Queen that is and is not. For there is no distinct bodily form as you would recognize this Queen beyond the face, mechanical though it may be. Everything is set on a grid. And then the Queen devolves into wires and shapes. And again, a concept. This Queen is beyond... What's the word? A non-Euclidean Queen.

[4:37] Conner: Brilliant.

[4:38] Aabria: Yes. Let's keep going around. And that was a beautiful description. I want to encourage us to stick with what is just on the illustration and not attach story or value to it.

[4:46] Will: Okay. That is the game.

[4:47] Aabria: I am now looking at a Queen who is... I would say there are Mike and Nid vibes to this one. She has no mouth. She is looking forward, very surprised. There are little literal stars in her eyes. She is holding up both of her hands, each of which have...

[5:02] Conner: How many fingers?

[5:03] Aabria: Looking like six or seven on each hand. And in front of her, there is maybe an orb. An orb that could be an open eye. It could be a mushroom. It is also glimmering. And her crown seems to be almost growing out of her head and glowing where with... Oh, God. It looks like there's almost another being inset in where would be like her third eye.

[5:25] Cassidy: I want to ingest the drug that is this Queen.

[5:28] Aabria: Like a death mommy?

[5:30] Cassidy: Yeah, death mommy. I mean, I think that's been accurately described.

[5:34] Conner: So notably, the background of this is a chessboard. We have a knight, a king, and a bishop on the chessboard. But in front of it, in the foreground, is our Queen.

[5:42] Will: Oh, because she's a Queen. I get it.

[5:44] Aabria: Yeah, okay. The background feels very... It's kind of religious iconography. We have like the gold leaf halo behind her. The color of her skin is very reminiscent of like, like ancient Greek statues. But her face has been like, it looks like sliced off and it's like hovering a couple inches in front of her face where there lies a skeleton who is smiling.

[6:05] Cassidy: She is glowing. She has a crown on her head that's very spiky. She's holding the sexiest sword you've ever seen.

[6:12] Will: How would you describe this one?

[6:14] Conner: It's a traditional French executioner's sword.

[6:17] Cassidy: What the fuck? That was the sexiest thing you've ever done. And you do sexy shit all the time.

[6:22] Will: Thank you. God!

[6:24] Aabria: And the pommel of this sword, we have a full scorpion encased in amber.

[6:29] Cassidy: That's cool.

[6:30] Aabria: She is Renaissance death goth mommy. And I love her. I love her so much. I love her so much.

[6:36] Conner: It's very fun because I do also feel like every skeleton smiles. That's kind of part of what it is.

[6:41] Cassidy: But you're right. But you're not wrong.

[6:43] Aabria: Okay, I'm watching you study in advance for your Queen. So which one were you looking at?

[6:48] Cassidy: I'm gonna steal it.

[6:50] Aabria: All right. To be a little more simple about this one. Yeah, this is my girl. Number. This is Queen 13. And she is dark-skinned, wearing sort of a sheer, golden, like drapey little wizard robe, holding a squiggly sword, very like sun and star coated. And she's got one of like those fun eye covering masks on that gives her like a third Cyclops eye in the middle of her head.

[7:14] Will: She looks like she's having a great time.

[7:16] Aabria: And I want that for her.

[7:18] Cassidy: What I want that for?

[7:20] Aabria: Yeah.

[7:21] Will: Does she have a little mustache?

[7:23] Cassidy: Maybe.

[7:24] Aabria: It's no, it's very intense lips.

[7:26] Cassidy: It's also like not not getting tangled.

[7:29] Will: Yep, for sure.

[7:31] Aabria: We got time.

[7:33] Cassidy: Our final Queen option is giving some Joan of Arc-y vibes. A mass of red hair, very much in the style of Megara, circa the Disney animated Hercules.

[7:45] Will: Okay, weren't you the one that was like, one, correct, it's Megara. Two, weren't you one that was like, don't attach story to this. And you're like, she's Joan of Arc and from a Disney movie.

[7:56] Aabria: Two very famous stories.

[7:58] Cassidy: Joan of Arc that Hercules is in love with.

[8:00] Will: Yeah, Joan of Arc, fair. I guess I use it to gesture towards an aesthetic, which I will describe further in a bit. And also, I don't know what the, yes.

[8:10] Aabria: Megara, Megara, what is it?

[8:12] Cassidy: Megara.

[8:13] Will: I don't know what the story of Megara is, but this is, yeah, let's take a moment.

[8:17] Aabria: Chaperone looks like Joan of Arc.

[8:19] Cassidy: There is a hairstyle, there is a like, a waviness.

[8:22] Will: Okay, I think we're getting really into like a 14-year-old girl from France forever ago and it's fine.

[8:27] Aabria: All right, so relevantly, she is clad as a knight, it seems.

[8:31] Cassidy: She was fighting your people, so I don't know why you're like.

[8:34] Will: I know, and I'm on her side about this.

[8:36] Aabria: Metal armor, very electrifying blue eyes, a halo that I don't know if it is material or not.

[8:43] Cassidy: She's holding a sword across her body in a way that suggests maybe she's lying down with this sword, and I think the punkdom of the photo is this red vein.

[8:54] Will: No, go back. What word did you just say?

[8:56] Cassidy: You lost half the room.

[8:58] Will: I didn't want to say anything.

[9:01] Aabria: Somewhere in the United States, an SAT test proctor just got a shiver down their spine.

[9:06] Cassidy: So, as we know from the last three minutes, I am likely to be mispronouncing this, but I think that's how it's called.

[9:12] Will: Can you spell it?

[9:14] Cassidy: No.

[9:16] Aabria: P-U-N-C-T-U-M, punkdom, I think.

[9:20] Will: What does that mean?

[9:21] Aabria: I think I'm just excited to learn a new word.

[9:23] Cassidy: I think it's from Barth, and it refers to, my understanding is, the thing that makes you squint and look a little closer.

[9:30] Will: Oh, neat.

[9:31] Aabria: Oh yeah, that's very cool.

[9:32] Cassidy: So, what is it? What is your queen's punkdom story?

[9:36] Aabria: This red could be a thread, it could be biological material, but it winds around her sword, it goes off frame, and it also pools behind her in this black and red void.

[9:47] Will: It is both petite and menacing at the same time.

[9:50] Aabria: The dream.

[9:51] Cassidy: Do we now vote?

[9:52] Aabria: No, we're trying to narrow it down.

[9:54] Conner: We're trying to, we're going to choose one.

[9:56] Aabria: I believe, okay, if I may offer, because the earlier card said that the queen has selected us because she knows we love her, we need to pick a queen that we love, that we love.

[10:06] Cassidy: Not just, like, cool aesthetic, I mean, like, that I would follow this woman anyway.

[10:10] Will: But I'm ready to, I'm ready to accept that as a given circumstance of any queen we select.

[10:15] Aabria: Okay, heard.

[10:16] Cassidy: I'm just going to say for the anime fans out there, that last queen, I'm going to give you one more comp, Revolutionary Girl Lieutenant.

[10:23] Aabria: Yes, yes!

[10:24] Will: Yeah, 100%, 100%.

[10:26] Cassidy: I'm, we'll go ahead and start trying to weed out, I'm not sold on Fantasy Fae, yeah.

[10:32] Aabria: Okay, sure.

[10:33] Cassidy: Book of Kells, Mushroom Chick.

[10:35] Aabria: Yeah, that's exactly, ooh, nice.

[10:37] Will: Next cut.

[10:38] Aabria: May I suggest Cutting Concept Queen?

[10:40] Cassidy: Yeah, I think there's a story here, but it's not for now.

[10:43] Aabria: Okay.

[10:44] Cassidy: Amazing.

[10:45] Will: Sweet, I'm going to bring us down to our final two and cut my queen, who I love very much.

[10:50] Aabria: I think she's very cute and fun.

[10:52] Cassidy: I can cut.

[10:53] Will: But I think there is something really interesting inside of, like, how much is being put on the, like, aberration to traditional, like, Western European coded medieval coded queens.

[11:03] Aabria: And I think there's something fun here that we have, like, alighted on very specifically.

[11:07] Cassidy: I then, I'm going to say, on that exact point, there's one of these is, is the, there is clearly more traditional appearing than the other.

[11:15] Will: And this, there is a lot behind the, the Alabaster.

[11:18] Aabria: Are we all going to pick Death Mommy that we all knew we were going to pick?

[11:22] Cassidy: We're picking Nicholas Cage Death Mommy.

[11:25] Will: The second the box came up, and these colors came up, this picture just, I couldn't draw my eyes away from it.

[11:31] Aabria: I believe that we can put photos of all these on our Discord, is that correct?

[11:34] Cassidy: Yeah, for sure.

[11:35] Will: It's also the most deeply Googleable thing.

[14:04] Conner Marx: We were really good about saying the names. Alabaster Queen is Queen 15.

[14:08] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. See ya cutie. We could even take photos of all of them. I would die for her.

[14:14] Conner Marx: We might. Back to me? Yes. Okay. Find the card that reads, The Queen is under attack. Do you defend her and remove it from the question card deck?

[14:24] Conner Marx: Then shuffle the remaining question cards and place them face down in the center of the table.

[14:29] Aabria Iyengar: This has just been done by me. You left it in.

[14:33] Conner Marx: What? No, I just, I had a plan and prepped some things to go according to that plan.

[14:37] Aabria Iyengar: I thought you were going to cut that card and not tell them about it.

[14:40] Conner Marx: Place the card that reads, The Queen is under attack. I am a sucker and will do anything that you even I said don't do it!

[14:45] Aabria Iyengar: subtly suggest. No, my love.

[14:48] Conner Marx: We're here. It's a great place to be. I would buy a summer home here.

[14:51] Aabria Iyengar: I'm fighting with my husband. This is, I have not felt like the eldest child in such a long time. Place the card that reads, The Queen is under attack. Do you defend her randomly into the middle of the question card deck for a game that lasts about an hour or into the bottom third of the deck for a game that lasts about two hours.

[15:08] Conner Marx: I assume you have done one of those things. Onward.

[15:11] Aabria Iyengar: I do want to note it that now we are going wittily diddly. What's the?

[15:15] Conner Marx: It's wittily diddly. Yeah. Great.

[15:16] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. I really got bounced out of the order.

[15:19] Conner Marx: Clockwise and wittily diddly. Yeah.

[15:21] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, I fucked that up. Yeah.

[15:22] Conner Marx: I thought you were doing it on purpose. I thought so too.

[15:24] Aabria Iyengar: My bad. I thought it was like, the clock goes one way, then it moves back and it's just.

[15:30] Conner Marx: That's another card. That's 6B that I removed after reading.

[15:34] Aabria Iyengar: When you have read the rules cards, take turns drawing question cards and reading them aloud.

[15:40] Conner Marx: Interpret your card and answer it however you wish.

[15:44] Aabria Iyengar: It's like the Nanny McPhee straight to DVD sequel.

[15:45] Conner Marx: Yes. Love it. Other players may ask you questions or make suggestions on your turn, but whether you answer those questions or include those suggestions is entirely up to you.

[15:55] Aabria Iyengar: Ooh.

[15:57] Conner Marx: Damn, I had an opportunity there to bounce it back to you.

[15:59] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, you did. Damn.

[16:03] Conner Marx: Next time. Next time.

[16:05] Aabria Iyengar: Place the X card somewhere everyone can easily reach it.

[16:10] Conner Marx: We have a red card with a gold X on it.

[16:13] Aabria Iyengar: In the center of the table.

[16:14] Conner Marx: Don't do the thing you're doing. You're putting me in hell.

[16:20] Aabria Iyengar: Okay. I have them now. Nothing makes any sense.

[16:24] Conner Marx: More of a visual joke, really?

[16:26] Aabria Iyengar: If you encounter a question or an answer. Yeah, right. Nobody knows where we're sitting.

[16:32] Conner Marx: We're so sad, everyone. I have to point it out.

[16:35] Aabria Iyengar: If you encounter a question or an answer that you don't want to be included in the game, tap the X card. That content is removed from the game.

[16:44] Conner Marx: Cool.

[16:44] Aabria Iyengar: Okay. Wow. So now it just feels misogynistic.

[16:47] Conner Marx: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like men.

[16:51] Aabria Iyengar: Join the club, sweetheart.

[16:54] Conner Marx: If you draw a card that is removed this way by yourself or someone else, simply draw another card and continue your turn as usual.

[17:02] Aabria Iyengar: I love you.

[17:04] Conner Marx: You can also choose to not take a turn on any round. To do so, say pass.

[17:08] Aabria Iyengar: The next player can answer the question you drew or draw a new one as they prefer.

[17:14] Conner Marx: Thank you. Yeah.

[17:16] Aabria Iyengar: Continue answering question cards until the Queen is under attack card is drawn.

[17:21] Conner Marx: Fuck all these men.

[17:22] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. Oh my god, we're here.

[17:24] Conner Marx: Each player should answer that question in turn. Then the game is over.

[17:30] Aabria Iyengar: Whoever wants to can draw the first question card.

[17:34] Conner Marx: I feel like it has to be you, Aabria.

[17:35] Aabria Iyengar: All right, let's do it.

[17:38] Conner Marx: This is thrilling. This is cool.

[17:39] Aabria Iyengar: Does everyone have good access to the X card?

[17:41] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[17:41] Aabria Iyengar: Just the actual explanation of it.

[17:44] Conner Marx: Do you want to talk about the sort of modification of rules?

[17:47] Aabria Iyengar: For the X card?

[17:49] Conner Marx: For the X card and for answering and passing.

[17:52] Aabria Iyengar: I think of the X card just as a great way, as sort of a safety conversation. You know, we can have that conversation now.

[17:59] Conner Marx: I think we're having work together generally on the same page.

[18:01] Aabria Iyengar: I'll go and say, I don't think there's any place for sexual violence.

[18:05] Conner Marx: Nope.

[18:05] Aabria Iyengar: Or violence against children in this game.

[18:08] Conner Marx: But if, should we stumble upon something that for whatever reason is prickling for you? Or you just, you know, don't feel like it. It's a no questions asked, no need to explain. Tap the X and we just move on to the next.

[18:18] Aabria Iyengar: I'll even tag on to that. This is obviously a safety tool and a really good way to introduce the idea of safety tools within games. But it also becomes a thing as your character and your spot in the retinue and your relationship with the queen develops via the questions you're answering. At some point, you might pull a question or be offered a question that you're like, actually doesn't fit my vibe. You can also just exit and either pass it to someone else or just say, I want to answer something else and keep moving through the deck. We may find questions that are redundant that in our development of the story, we actually answered a couple cards ago. And we could just say, yeah, we kind of talked about that. The rules prescribe some structure, very light structure. And I think we have the power to go even lighter than that. And we already obliterated it by not doing the circle.

[19:07] Conner Marx: There's that level of me that's like, oh, I got a touch of the tism, because I'm like, we've broken the circle.

[19:11] Aabria Iyengar: We're fucking up the ritual.

[19:13] Conner Marx: Well, I mean, let's see what happens to the queen. Aabria, can I offer you this pile of question cards?

[19:18] Aabria Iyengar: Oh my god, I would love one. Thank you.

[19:21] Conner Marx: In your eyes, what makes the queen ugly?

[19:24] Aabria Iyengar: Whoa.

[19:25] Conner Marx: Holy shit.

[19:28] Aabria Iyengar: My understanding of the queen is this. She has always done what she's needed to do to ensure the safety of our kingdom. And I think that requires a distance from the person that she would rather be in the intimate and quiet moments that we have spent together.

[19:51] Aabria Iyengar: And I can't help but feel like the face that she presents to our kingdom, and even to maybe some of the rest of the retinue, we're instilling a little doubt here, is a helmet and a piece of armor that she wears. And I do not find the things made of steel and war to be beautiful.

[20:14] Conner Marx: May I ask, so we have two faces on this card. Do you think everyone knows about this face underneath? Or is this just those in her inner circle?

[20:25] Aabria Iyengar: And to be clear, a thing I can't explain that I'm doing visually is not looking at the card. I'm not trying to over-index for what I see there, as I took the inspiration of looking at it the first time and not hyper fixating on it.

[20:39] Conner Marx: Sure.

[20:39] Aabria Iyengar: Can you repeat the question one more time?

[20:41] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[20:43] Aabria Iyengar: Well, to force you to do that, we are looking at a skull and a few inches separated from that a porcelain mask.

[20:54] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[20:54] Aabria Iyengar: I think neither of those are indicative of who she actually is as a person. I think we are talking about the chiseled facade that must be presented, and a thing of animal need and want underneath. And I think the person that she is lies somewhere in between and is not rendered in that card.

[21:14] Conner Marx: Cool.

[21:16] Aabria Iyengar: Cool.

[21:16] Conner Marx: So now we're going clockwise again.

[21:19] Aabria Iyengar: Why would we ever not?

[21:21] Conner Marx: We hate Widdly Diddly.

[21:23] Aabria Iyengar: The queen thinks more highly of you than you do of yourself. How do you know this?

[21:27] Conner Marx: Jesus Christ.

[21:31] Aabria Iyengar: This game is all like, here's a crazy gift. What do you want to do with it?

[21:35] Conner Marx: Oh, my God.

[21:38] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, my God.

[21:40] Conner Marx: I don't think I was anticipating the game that we're about to play.

[21:43] Aabria Iyengar: Okay.

[21:43] Conner Marx: Yeah, sure.

[21:47] Aabria Iyengar: How meta do we get with this?

[21:49] Conner Marx: That's the really fun thing, is you can answer it at whatever depth you want. People can chase it with as much as you want. And character and relationship develops just from time spent in it.

[22:01] Aabria Iyengar: So feel zero compunction to do a deep dive. Right now, you can wait for more gifts. You can pass this card if it feels a little too at depth and you're early developing. There isn't a wrong way to answer this.

[22:14] Conner Marx: Cool.

[22:14] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah.

[22:15] Conner Marx: I'm going to go just based on the premise of the world that we are living in. There is a queen, and we are going on a journey with her. And we have been hand-selected, and she loves us. We love her. We love...

[22:29] Aabria Iyengar: I'm assuming she loves us.

[22:31] Conner Marx: I think she loves us.

[22:31] Aabria Iyengar: There you go.

[22:32] Conner Marx: I think she loves us. Because if you are being hand-selected out of an entire kingdom of people to accompany someone on a journey, you are loved.

[22:40] Aabria Iyengar: So is your answer to this that, like, you believe you're worthy of her love, but maybe there is a disconnect between how much she loves you and how much you love yourself?

[22:52] Conner Marx: Sorry, just trying to bring it back to that.

[22:53] Aabria Iyengar: No, totally. I think that the question of self-love is inherently tied to worthiness. And by being selected, you are deemed worthy. So if someone sees something in you, that means you are worthy of self-love.

[23:10] Conner Marx: So why did she tell you she chose you for this?

[23:17] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, I see. Okay, okay, okay. I see your DM showing.

[23:20] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[23:21] Aabria Iyengar: Because I'm a badass bitch, baby. Let's go!

[23:23] Conner Marx: That's what it is.

[23:24] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah!

[23:27] Conner Marx: In what way?

[23:28] Aabria Iyengar: How?

[23:29] Conner Marx: God damn it.

[23:30] Aabria Iyengar: Like what, what is your...

[23:32] Conner Marx: I'm sorry, Alex.

[23:33] Aabria Iyengar: No, I mean, I think we were there. Like, what, like...

[23:35] Conner Marx: I was going to say the same thing. Go on.

[23:37] Aabria Iyengar: I think, yeah. I'm curious, like, what makes you a badass bitch? What is your role for the... Like, what do you do for her?

[23:43] Conner Marx: What is your job in her retinue?

[23:45] Aabria Iyengar: I think a certain level of dedication that I bring to the party that is... If I hear but a whisper of someone talking shit, they're going down.

[24:00] Conner Marx: By your hand?

[24:01] Aabria Iyengar: Oh yeah, baby. Immediately. Like, no holds barred. The second that someone comes for someone that I'm here for, it's game over.

[24:10] Conner Marx: And does she know, like, has she employed you to be somewhat of a, like, silencer of dissent?

[24:15] Aabria Iyengar: Yep.

[24:16] Conner Marx: Okay. So if you were talking about pieces on a chess board, you might prescribe that to the knight, then?

[24:21] Aabria Iyengar: I was thinking maybe rook.

[24:24] Conner Marx: Love it. I am...

[24:25] Aabria Iyengar: You would castle if called?

[24:28] Conner Marx: Immediately, yeah. I got that back rank covered, baby.

[24:30] Aabria Iyengar: I am end game.

[24:31] Conner Marx: And also come flying from across the field.

[24:33] Aabria Iyengar: Absolutely, in a fucking heartbeat.

[24:36] Conner Marx: I do want to just, to the extent that you're interested in clarifying, are you a bruiser? Or are you a, like, blade in the darkness?

[24:43] Aabria Iyengar: I'm gonna go with the latter.

[24:51] Conner Marx: Blade in the darkness.

[24:52] Aabria Iyengar: So it's less about openly up front, clanking your armor, and more in the shadows, taking out those...

[24:59] Conner Marx: No, I changed my mind. I changed my mind. I want to be loud and aggressive, and I want people to be scared when they see me coming.

[25:03] Aabria Iyengar: Okay, great.

[25:04] Conner Marx: The enforcer.

[25:05] Aabria Iyengar: I mean, in the way that, like, we were all surprised when the queen didn't bring her dogs, but she brought her hound. You know what I mean?

[25:13] Conner Marx: It begins.

[25:17] Aabria Iyengar: Okay, here we go.

[25:21] Conner Marx: I love the first big choice where you're like, I'm this. And everyone's like, fuck you.

[25:27] Aabria Iyengar: We in it now, boys.

[25:29] Conner Marx: You once saved the queen's life. How?

[25:32] Aabria Iyengar: When she was very young. Princess, not the queen yet.

[25:44] Conner Marx: We were walking through the forest, which we would often do, as I was charged to teach her about life outside of the palace. We would take trips in disguise into small villages so that she could learn about the people. And we would take trips and hikes and walks through the forest so that she could, you know, learn about plants and animals and nature and employed as I was by her father and his father before him to do this for the royalty of our land. And I would encourage her to strike out on her own, to explore a lot. I could keep a tab on her through my own machinations. And one day I got distracted and she, through my encouragement, was playing in a river and it was rushing too fast. She slipped and she fell.

And I heard her screaming before I felt her screaming, which was the first time that had ever happened to me. It was the last time I was ever distracted. And I got to her before anything could happen and I pulled her out of the water. And she still thinks of me as her savior in that moment. And I still think of myself as having let her down. And I will never do that again.

[27:17] Conner Marx: What do you call her? And what is her name?

[27:24] Aabria Iyengar: I call her my queen.

[27:28] Conner Marx: And it's almost with a wink, I think.

[27:31] Aabria Iyengar: I call her my queen. Most people do it reverently. I do it almost as a pet name.

[27:37] Conner Marx: Because I think when she hears me say it, what she hears is princess every time.

[27:47] Aabria Iyengar: I'm, uh, silent screaming.

[27:51] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[27:53] Aabria Iyengar: You said something. You said you heard her before you felt her.

[27:56] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[27:57] Aabria Iyengar: Hold on. I need to know her name.

[27:58] Conner Marx: Yeah.

[28:00] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. Her name is Andromeda.

[28:04] Conner Marx: Beautiful.

[28:07] Aabria Iyengar: A connection by which you feel her thoughts, sensations. Is there a connection beyond what we in our 21st century world understand? Yes, absolutely. And it is magical in nature, and this is one of the reasons that I am the court's vizier and teacher. And this is a thing that I have had with her, with her father, and with his father as well. And it's something that there actually is a ritual. There is like a binding ritual. And so I am not just teacher, but bodyguard. Yes. And was her father the leader, the king, or was it? Her father was the king. And his father was like a usurping warlord, who then found me and hired me to help to refine his new court. You said that you provide insight and teachings on the world outside of court.

What did you do before you were in service to this family and to the Alabaster Queen? Hello, Alabaster Queen. Hello. I have lived in these environs, among the local hills and plains for long enough that I stopped counting the years. I have seen nations rise and fall, and I was attracted to this wild, powerful, young would-be king because I saw in him someone who wanted to civilize but not dominate. Despite being a warlord usurper. Yes. But he went for power so that he could redistribute it. It has not always gone his way. There have been problems. But you do align morally with the compass that he held. Yes.

[30:26] Will Champion: Cool. To elaborate on that, I think that I saw civilization was coming to these lands, and I realized that either I was going to have to put a hand on it or not. And he looked like the best bet going for me to be able to make sure that the civilization that was inevitably going to grow into my world was something that I could put a thumb on. So what I like hearing about that, what's interesting to me about that is that it sounds like you could have been in the position to be the ruler yourself. Maybe. Cool. Yeah. Fine. This game whips ass.

[31:14] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, right? This game is fucking amazing. And now you know why I voted. It's also easily the, like, quietest, most intense Ale and Well Met episode we've ever done.

[31:22] Cassidy Sledge: Word. Yeah. I was going to say, I was-

[31:24] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, don't worry. Not expecting confused vibes from this game.

[31:28] Conner Marx: What did you bring with you that endangers the queen?

[31:31] Aabria Iyengar: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like every third card is like, now we're playing. At some point we have to stop yelling that.

[31:42] Will Champion: To be the Bishop of the Alabaster Queen is to understand the needs of a ruler who must divorce themselves at some level from the humanity that they themselves rule. To guide the hand that wields the stinging sword of mercy is no small task. And as such, I had to come prepared on this journey for all things that may assail or undermine or intoxicate Our Fair Lady. And these are items and unctions and trinkets that lesser minds might see as dubious or occult, and may in fact verge on endangering the very purpose that the queen has set out to undertake. But they are necessary, liminal perhaps, ethically questionable at times, but when used solely and exclusively to preserve that which the queen herself has preserved, I carry them only for the sake of the realm.

[32:59] Aabria Iyengar: So you keep saying. Do you think that you, either among this inner circle of retinue or among the larger court or land, do you have a lot of allies in this? Or are you kind of holding down the fort by yourself? Will you tell me? Are you allied in this?

[33:17] Conner Marx: I'm not going to answer that yet.

[33:19] Aabria Iyengar: Well then, outside of this court, I keep a tight-knit circle. I have lost more friends than I have kept, but that is the nature of my business. And that is why I was hired. I believe I am one of the, if not the newest member of this inner circle, out of necessity, if nothing else. And I am comfy in the limited circles that I keep.

[33:42] Will Champion: So you consider yourself hired?

[33:46] Conner Marx: At first. Now I would serve no other master but the Alabaster queen. But that hasn't always been true. How did you convince her to trust you?

[33:55] Aabria Iyengar: By a simple demonstration of my abilities and wares.

[33:59] Conner Marx: Tell us.

[34:01] Aabria Iyengar: Well, alchemy is a refined practice, and she is of need of a court alchemist, or she was, certainly. And now I am here, and here I intend to stay. It was more so a proving that I was not another snake oil salesperson, nor a charlatan, but that my abilities and what I could bring to her table were absolute. What I was not aware of is what she would bring to my table.

[34:30] Will Champion: Who amongst us did you convince as well? Who is your biggest ally in our group of five?

[34:37] Aabria Iyengar: Hmm. I would say it would probably have to be, I'm hoping you, because if you value, I believe you value the part of the Alabaster queen, which I have to keep at bay to ensure that she is suited to the task that she needs to attend to. And I'm hoping that that balance may be kept and not disjointed going forward on this journey.

[35:05] Will Champion: I agree.

[35:08] Aabria Iyengar: I love this game so much. What is something you do for the queen that has prepared you well for this journey?

[35:22] Conner Marx: Sorry. And we're there. It's a serious game. Now I'm going to say it. My favorite thing when you were like, that's going to be a bunch of like dudes. I'm like, it's a race. It's a race to who's fucking the queen.

[35:38] Cassidy Sledge: Well, I definitely, I took myself way out of that race.

[35:43] Aabria Iyengar: I think, I think it is me then to just take that and spin it. I think, so this other land that we are visiting, I think I was stolen from there as a baby, as a child. Given to the queen, all in preparation for this envoy, for this, to be this unknown emissary to my own homeland. But it's a land that I've never known, a land that I've never, a language I don't speak. But there is, but I have known that I am a child of purpose, that I have been raised, not like a lamb for slaughter, but I have been raised with blinders on leading me singularly to this one moment where I am brought back to play a role that I don't yet understand.

[36:45] Will Champion: And when stepping outside of the voice of my character, whether it's as a negotiating piece, whether it's as a hostage, whether it's as, I don't know yet, when we'll find out.

[36:59] Aabria Iyengar: Well, what is the age difference between you and the queen?

[37:05] Conner Marx: Well, I'm inclined to think that the queen, I think we have good reason to assume the queen is very old.

[37:14] Aabria Iyengar: Really?

[37:15] Will Champion: My brother in Christ, how old are you?

[37:19] Conner Marx: I mean, I think my imagine...

[37:20] Aabria Iyengar: Ageless.

[37:21] Conner Marx: Amazing. Yeah, like, I think that the queen, by various mechanisms, alchemical...

[37:27] Aabria Iyengar: I was going to say.

[37:29] Conner Marx: Occult, perhaps. I believe the queen has lived far beyond the expected lifespan of anyone in our world. Though I think that she looks...

[37:39] Aabria Iyengar: Interesting.

[37:40] Will Champion: Looks pristine.

[37:42] Aabria Iyengar: Tasteless, though it may be to bring up our lady's age, I can attest to that. I dare say, I must ask you, I am learning of this for the first time. You say this land is, that we are heading towards is foreign to you, but I must inquisite. You bear no traces of the Onyx Citadel? None?

[38:00] Conner Marx: We look at my character, whose entire eyes are just sort of iris-less, pupil-less, jet-black orbs.

[38:13] Will Champion: Ah.

[38:15] Aabria Iyengar: And this is not... This is a common feature of, you said, the Onyx Kingdom?

[38:20] Conner Marx: Yes.

[38:21] Aabria Iyengar: And this is a common feature of the Onyx Kingdom.

[38:24] Conner Marx: The Onyx Citadel, yes.

[38:24] Aabria Iyengar: The Onyx Citadel. The amount of physical input that that would... I'm really curious about how that, the people of the Onyx Citadel, like, process the world now.

[38:37] Conner Marx: Sure. I think that there's something unique to me. I think that, like, maybe I wasn't necessarily a prince, but I was a child of import. There was something special about me.

[38:56] Aabria Iyengar: You were stolen.

[38:57] Conner Marx: Yes.

[38:59] Aabria Iyengar: Who told you you were stolen?

[39:03] Conner Marx: They don't use the language of stolen.

[39:05] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. So who told you you were stolen?

[39:08] Conner Marx: Interesting. Let's say that I don't know. And that I am so singularly devoted. All of my lessons, all of... Because I've had many tutors. I've had people instructing me in terms of my...

[39:26] Will Champion: That I am a... When I say a weapon, I don't mean, like, battle-trained. I don't mean that I am Achilles, but I know that I am...

[39:34] Conner Marx: Has anyone ever read East of West?

[39:36] Aabria Iyengar: Mm-mm.

[39:38] Conner Marx: It's a really incredible graphic novel that I'll stop referencing, if it's not a point of reference for anyone here. But yeah, that everything that I know, that everything is about leading up to this moment, and I want nothing more than to fulfill this duty. That it is all I know.

[40:00] Aabria Iyengar: And you want... You are excited to fulfill this duty.

[40:03] Conner Marx: Desperate. It is why I am here. Do you have any concept of what will happen to you after?

[40:09] Aabria Iyengar: No. Absolutely none.

[40:10] Conner Marx: Do you worry about that?

[40:12] Aabria Iyengar: Absolutely not.

[40:13] Conner Marx: No. Singularly focused?

[40:15] Aabria Iyengar: Yes.

[40:17] Will Champion: And how old are you?

[40:20] Conner Marx: I think... A teenager.

[40:27] Aabria Iyengar: You'd almost have to be.

[40:31] Will Champion: Oh, you can find delusion at any age.

[40:33] Aabria Iyengar: Sure. Absolutely.

[40:35] Will Champion: When was the last time you had the Queen's undivided attention? Do you hope to have it again?

[40:39] Conner Marx: Okay, cards, calm down. I wasn't... I wasn't ramping up for this, but...

[40:48] Aabria Iyengar: I just think it's...

[40:49] Conner Marx: One of us just scripted.

[40:52] Aabria Iyengar: All right, if Conner's getting comfortable, then let's fucking do it. Her nights are often busy. Spent over a lamplight, planning her next move, even though this has been a trip decades in the making. But in the very late hours when other people would sleep, when I sleep and wake and she is still awake, there are a few stolen hours before the sun comes up and her attention is mine. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we just sit quietly and she listens to me babble about things that we've seen on the trip. And I notice her caressing my face and I feel that strangeness again. Alabaster and onyx, but I am flesh and blood. Alone. And I feel that distance again. Do I hope to have it again? Yes, I do.

[42:11] Aabria Iyengar: It's because I think it makes me special? No, because it reminds me of how different she is. And maybe all of you are. Or maybe just I am. That's why she's Aabria fucking Iyengar! That's why she's Aabria fucking Iyengar! I'm a fucking moat of dust, hoping that the winds carry me and place me on your shoulder for but a moment in time. I am just piggybacking off of gifs I have seen in the club. So let's, I was just going to say, as absolutely gorgeous as that was, I would like to know specifically what your position in court is.

[42:55] Cassidy Sledge: Missionary, mostly. I was like, okay, and then got the joke. No, I think, I think there are different people across the kingdom and the line of her family is a unique one in our world. And she is not indicative of the majority of the people. So I think I am like a noble's kid that was brought to court and found favor the old fashioned way by being cute and fun and different enough from her daily life that I just, I'm just around now, but I don't do anything particularly different than any other courtier.

[43:55] Aabria Iyengar: How long have you been the Queen's most trusted advisor?

[44:02] Cassidy Sledge: I would say that it's been about a year. I would never say it out loud, of course. And I would never, ever move in a way that would intimate that I feel that strongly about myself around you.

[44:19] Aabria Iyengar: How would you call each other friends?

[44:23] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, out loud. Who was there before you and why aren't they here anymore?

[44:37] Aabria Iyengar: The Queen has never married. There's never been. Someone's, there's something has happened. This is the third generation and it's been a thousand years and she has felt no compunction to do what royals do, which is propagate their line to make the next ruler. Does she know something? I don't know, but she has never worried about settling down. So the one before me was someone more discreet. I don't know their name. The one before that was a man who spoke too much and we don't say his name anymore. And before that, it's best not to worry about it. Is it an open secret? Is it a secret at all? Is it known that this is your role that at a certain time people, someone might like escort you to the Queen's chambers?

[45:49] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah, I don't think, I mean, definitely within our retinue, the moment I was like tapped to come with the five of you, I think there were any illusions about me sort of being a favored friend and gossip were quickly dropped to, oh, this is someone that holds her confidence in a very specific and very intimate way.

[46:05] Aabria Iyengar: Should things sour on our venture here and you are forced to make the choice between the Queen's duty and your place at the Queen's side, what is your intent?

[46:20] Cassidy Sledge: I would never presume to get in the way of the things that she must do for all of us. I am blood and blood spills.

[46:39] Aabria Iyengar: Can you clarify the distinction?

[46:42] Cassidy Sledge: Well, conflict is preventable, if also inevitable, and relationships, interpersonal and otherwise, shift drastically in times of great need.

[47:01] Aabria Iyengar: But what is her duty if not at the Queen's side?

[47:06] Cassidy Sledge: For now. But in conflict, duties may change. The Queen's duty herself may change. And where the Queen moves, positions next to her also shift. My position at her side is not one of duty. I'm not like you. My duty is to the court and to representing the factions and clans that I come from and that I speak for. My loyalty and my love keep me by her side. My duty is distinct.

[47:40] Aabria Iyengar: In your eyes, what makes the Queen beautiful?

[47:45] Cassidy Sledge: I think that our Alabaster Queen can do no wrong. I think that she is perfect. I think that she has lived long enough, that she is wise enough, that she perhaps has made slight errors in the past, but she has learned from them and she is wise and wonderful and she knows right and wrong. And I trust her inherently, implicitly all the time. And I would do anything she asked at any given moment of any day. I don't ask questions. I know that what she's doing is right.

[48:28] Aabria Iyengar: Do the orders come from the Queen herself?

[48:34] Cassidy Sledge: At this point now, being where I am, yes.

[48:38] Aabria Iyengar: Do you, what is your initiative like? Do you, surely the Queen can't micromanage every part of your lengthy duties. You must be making decisions about who and what needs to be dealt with on her behalf.

[48:53] Cassidy Sledge: Of course. She also has trusted advisors that I will listen to if they offer any guidance. I do think that I am not the newest member of the Inner Sanctum, but certainly newer. So I recognize I'm still learning how everything works. I think when I began serving the Queen, we had a very lengthy conversation about what was expected of me. And it was a great conversation. And we haven't really spoken one-on-one since. And I'm okay with that because she's terrifying in a beautiful way.

[49:37] Aabria Iyengar: Terrifying.

[49:38] Cassidy Sledge: So you are more of an instrument?

[49:42] Aabria Iyengar: Yes.

[49:43] Cassidy Sledge: Okay. You see, the Alabaster Queen is perfect, but even marble has its cracks.

[49:49] Aabria Iyengar: I don't like you. I don't trust you.

[49:52] Cassidy Sledge: You don't have to. What I'm asking is if you are to see our Queen in some way exhibit a flaw that breaks your image of her, what do you do with that information?

[50:05] Aabria Iyengar: She has no flaws.

[50:08] Cassidy Sledge: I understand that. What I'm saying—

[50:11] Aabria Iyengar: The hypothetical you are offering, it doesn't exist.

[50:16] Cassidy Sledge: Understood.

[50:17] Aabria Iyengar: Are you worried about him?

[50:20] Cassidy Sledge: Absolutely.

[50:21] Aabria Iyengar: Why?

[50:22] Cassidy Sledge: Okay, I don't understand.

[50:23] Aabria Iyengar: What do you mean why?

[50:24] Cassidy Sledge: Well, I know that Cassidy can perceive—

[50:29] Aabria Iyengar: No, no, no, no, no. We're in character right now. Come on.

[50:32] Cassidy Sledge: Not necessarily. I can play in and out. I'll play in first and third person.

[50:35] Aabria Iyengar: Sure.

[50:35] Cassidy Sledge: But the Enforcer, with what you've given us about your dedication to execution from, in more ways than one, from on high, certainly this is someone of status, and yet you do have doubts.

[50:57] Aabria Iyengar: The Alchemist—

[51:00] Cassidy Sledge: Bishop.

[51:02] Aabria Iyengar: The Bishop clearly thinks that I will recognize that if our Queen has selected him to be part of the Inner Sanctum, then clearly she sees something in him that I do not, and I recognize that her wisdom and insight is far beyond my own, so I am willing to admit my own failings there. That being said, it feels like you don't hesitate to push back against the things that our Queen might say, and I wonder about where your true loyalties lie.

[51:43] Cassidy Sledge: With the—

[51:43] Aabria Iyengar: No, go ahead.

[51:44] Cassidy Sledge: With the Alabaster Lady. And I do just want to say, as the Queen's appointed Scorpion, I think your instincts are above reproach. If you feel something, you were brought in here to trust your gut. Just saying. Duly noted. Thank you.

[52:07] Aabria Iyengar: Look, you're on the card.

[52:09] Cassidy Sledge: Some of us just don't have to move in straight lines.

[52:12] Aabria Iyengar: Bitch, you move on a diagonal!

[52:14] Cassidy Sledge: Mm-hmm.

[52:15] Aabria Iyengar: That's still a straight fucking line! It's just a different direction!

[52:18] Cassidy Sledge: Mm-hmm.

[52:19] Aabria Iyengar: Bad metaphor! Sorry, sorry, I'm getting really worked up right now.

[52:21] Cassidy Sledge: No, it's all good!

[52:22] Aabria Iyengar: Like, oh, hey, Scorpion, you want to come have some tea in the room with me?

[52:26] Cassidy Sledge: Yes, I do, thank you.

[52:27] Aabria Iyengar: Yes, yes, come here, come here. I'm gonna need to calm down a little bit.

[52:29] Cassidy Sledge: It's okay, you're so good.

[52:31] Aabria Iyengar: I think that's why the Queen loves me. I'm so hot-headed. I'm ready. I'm going 0-100 in a second.

[52:36] Cassidy Sledge: Look, there's nothing better than a sword that wants to be swung.

[52:39] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, yeah.

[52:40] Cassidy Sledge: But this is still my question, that you become hot-headed, you have opinions, you have a gut sense and an instinct of what needs to be done, or you are a soldier who receives orders and acts on them.

[52:58] Aabria Iyengar: I think I am trying to be the very, the very cool, calm and collected soldier that just, that hears and says, yes, and, but I can't help if I get worked up sometimes!

[53:13] Cassidy Sledge: I love this. I just, can you describe what is your, what is your weapon? Because I'm imagining, and you don't have to take this, but I'm imagining, like, just a fucking troll club, whether, like, like wooden, perhaps with some, like, metal handle work and engraving, and it's just short and thick. And when you go into a rage, it's just like, like, it's just a spray of blood.

[53:42] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah.

[53:42] Cassidy Sledge: There's pulp and you're like, wait, wait, wait, whatever.

[53:46] Aabria Iyengar: I think whatever it is, for sure, for sure. And it's, it's, it is just, it's just like, you know, it is a very, very melee weapon. I think, like, the most aggressive piercing I'd be willing to go for is like a Morningstar, but like, sure, but that's it.

[53:59] Cassidy Sledge: What's up?

[53:59] Aabria Iyengar: I was going to say to that note, and I was always going to ask it earlier. I would like to know what your body count was like before you began serving the Queen and what it's like, what it has been like since you've been serving the Queen.

[54:14] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah, we're talking like, sexually...

[54:19] Aabria Iyengar: Anything above second base counts.

[54:20] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah.

[54:23] Aabria Iyengar: Cuddle stuff.

[54:23] Cassidy Sledge: I think, I think...

[54:24] Aabria Iyengar: And also cuddle stuff counts.

[54:25] Cassidy Sledge: Cuddle stuff counts.

[54:27] Aabria Iyengar: Great, great, great, great, great. How do we feel, how do we, okay, hand-holding, like this versus like interlacing fingers.

[54:33] Cassidy Sledge: Interlaced.

[54:34] Aabria Iyengar: So this, so just this doesn't count.

[54:36] Cassidy Sledge: This is nothing.

[54:37] Aabria Iyengar: We're not in fucking Sunday school over here.

[54:38] Cassidy Sledge: Okay, we're here, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[54:40] Aabria Iyengar: We're not singing hymns over here.

[54:41] Cassidy Sledge: We're not singing hymns over here.

[54:42] Aabria Iyengar: Sorry, I'm sorry.

[54:43] Cassidy Sledge: We're not singing hymnals.

[54:45] Aabria Iyengar: No, like how, yeah, how many people did you kill as a soldier of the Crown versus how many people have you killed as a soldier of the Queen?

[54:54] Cassidy Sledge: Interestingly enough, I do think the numbers are, I think I killed significantly more before.

[55:02] Aabria Iyengar: Interesting. Can I propose, how does the table feel about the language, the Crown, that metaphorically we refer to Her Highness as the mask?

[55:15] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, I got some not-so-sures about this.

[55:17] Aabria Iyengar: I mean, I, Alex, will do that.

[55:20] Cassidy Sledge: My character simply would not.

[55:21] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, I would say perception with a mask.

[55:25] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah, but I mean, well, that also is that among the city, like among you two, people who are constantly seeing her without that mask, do you, are you, you think that the kingdom refers to her as not the crown, but the mask?

[55:38] Aabria Iyengar: I swear allegiance to the crown.

[55:39] Cassidy Sledge: I swear allegiance to the mask.

[55:41] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, yeah. I, I love that. I adore that. I'm super into it for the world building. Character hates that it implies an air of duplicity. But I don't, I think let's define it now. Because I think what I like about it is that there's a sense that we all, like, we recognize, not we, the retinue, but like the proletariat, like the just, the queendom itself recognizes that we are not allowed to look upon the face of our lady. Can I say that? We are only allowed to see.

[56:15] Aabria Iyengar: I'm seconding the idea that when she holds court, when she is in front of people, she is wearing a physical mask. Yes. Yes. I adore that. I think also, to that end, do we think that there are rumblings and conspiracies that she has been more than one person? Answering personally, my dedication, my devotion is so singular that I am unconcerned. I'm not offended by it. It's just, it's such preposterous folly. Sure. What has come before the Alabaster Lady is inconsequential. She is now and she is always. We love her so much! I think it is a point of, like, my character's, like, understanding that we know that, like, the people know that this line has lasted a thousand years and has been three people.

[57:11] Cassidy Sledge: Yes.

[57:13] Aabria Iyengar: So I don't know if there's actually a lot of doubt. Equal parts? Or it's, like, regular length of tenure for granddad, regular length of tenure for grandfather? Her ladyship has just gone.

[57:22] Will Champion: No. No.

[57:23] Aabria Iyengar: Maybe due to the services of some of those amongst us.

[57:26] Conner Marx: Exactly. I think it's the warlord that took it, who handed it to a son, who created a daughter, and the line is finished in her.

[57:35] Aabria Iyengar: Cool. Cool. Yeah.

[57:37] Will Champion: The last queen.

[57:38] Aabria Iyengar: The end of the line.

[57:39] Cassidy Sledge: Yes. Yes.

[57:40] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah.

[57:44] Conner Marx: The queen once asked you why you serve her. Did she get an honest answer?

[57:56] Aabria Iyengar: With all the love in my heart, I beg, beg, beg of you to answer this yes or no and then explain.

[58:04] Cassidy Sledge: Yes.

[58:05] Aabria Iyengar: Okay. Okay. She got an honest answer in so much as I was able to answer the question at all. I am singular, almost, in this kingdom in being someone who has watched her entire reign. And I told her when she asked me, after decades of rule, after I had seen her crowned, after I had seen her victorious in battle, after I had advised her through failure, heartbreak, after I had seen the ups and downs of what would have been lines of queens, we sat alone in a tower, watching smoke rise over a village that she could not save. And she asked me why I stayed.

[59:20] Aabria Iyengar: And I told her that this was my home, that she was my home, and that I couldn't leave my home. That if I were to leave my home, I feared I would be simply unmade. I would cease. I would cease. And I'm worried if I ever do leave the borders of her kingdom, whatever that is, that I would find myself unmade.

[1:00:01] Conner Marx: And I also told her that I had promised her father's father that in exchange for that power, it would belong always to him and his progeny. I serve you because I literally must.

[1:00:25] Aabria Iyengar: You serve her because you must. Would you if you didn't?

[1:00:33] Cassidy Sledge: It's difficult to answer. It's difficult to...

[1:00:38] Aabria Iyengar: I cannot remember my own beginnings at this point. And so when I remember, when I think back to why I do what I do and how long I've been doing it, there are gaps. I simply can't hold all of it in my head. And so I think what happens essentially is every epoch, I sort of have to etch a sketch in my brain. I have extensive, extensive journals that I can go back and look at. But when you are hundreds of years old, it's hard to remember your youth. It's hard to remember what your dreams were. But I do not wish to rule. I have never wished to rule because I am not a leader. I people, I am off-putting. People, normal people, regular people, people who are not prepared to be in my presence have always shied away from me. There is something other that bothers normal people.

[1:01:47] Conner Marx: And I would love it if I had been left alone. If I could have simply walked through my hills and my trees and my valleys and been one with the rocks and brooks and rivers, I would have. I would have done that always. There is no, I can't. They're here. This is here. I have to be part of it. I can't leave. My life force comes from these physical lands.

[1:02:25] Aabria Iyengar: Yes. But if it didn't, if you were relieved of your burdens.

[1:02:29] Conner Marx: If I was relieved of my burdens, if I could walk away without being unmade, would I go and find a new place to dwell? At this point, no, because when you have loved something for hundreds of years, it is difficult to stop. It is normal. I don't remember not being devoted to the crown.

[1:02:51] Cassidy Sledge: Good.

[1:02:51] Aabria Iyengar: We travel with the Queen to speak with the Onyx Citadel. If something were to happen, she will be unmade there. Are you here because your life requires that she be successful?

[1:03:05] Conner Marx: As far as I know, I would not say this to your character.

[1:03:09] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, of course.

[1:03:10] Conner Marx: No, I think I would to you.

[1:03:14] Aabria Iyengar: So do we know that?

[1:03:16] Conner Marx: No, I'm saying above the game, I'm saying that we're in the game. I think this is you asking me, catching me by the fire. If that is your character, my response is, because you've learned maybe secrets.

[1:03:36] Aabria Iyengar: I'm well-trusted.

[1:03:41] Conner Marx: I saw the chaos that existed in the making of this kingdom before the Alabaster Queen, before the Onyx Citadel, and I see the chaos that could destroy everything, could burn our world down if she is not successful. I will be unmade. All of us will be unmade.

[1:04:10] Aabria Iyengar: Not successful. Is this a trip of domination? Is this a trip of trade? Is this a trip of exploration? Is the Alabaster Empire and the Onyx Citadel, are these the two poles of this world? And can they exist in harmony?

[1:04:35] Conner Marx: I think that the Onyx Citadel is the next in a long line of powers that have arisen and have bent the knee. I have been on many of these trips before. I have known such as you before, and we travel now to ask the Onyx Citadel to bend the knee, to invite them to become part of our kingdom. And how that invitation goes will be up to you, will be up to the Queen, will be up to all of us, is if the Onyx Citadel decides to bend the knee and become part of the Alabaster Queen's kingdom, or if they decide, as some have before, to opt for their own destruction.

[1:05:31] Aabria Iyengar: When we spoke over the fire, what was the moment that made you realize that I hate you more than I hate her?

[1:05:42] Conner Marx: I assumed when you spoke of my unmaking. When you confronted me with truths about myself that very few people know, that she has not trusted anyone with before, ever. You immediately had power over me.

[1:06:06] Aabria Iyengar: And when I responded, it's not just my unmaking, it's all of our unmaking.

[1:06:13] Conner Marx: You smiled. You tried to hide it. You tried immediately to hide it. You tried to look away. You feigned alarm, but I... far too quick. You smiled. There was a glee in your eyes that let me know that that's what you're rooting for.

[1:06:36] Aabria Iyengar: So when you say, what clues you in that I hated you more than I hated her, that's a capital H, her.

[1:06:43] Conner Marx: Okay, yeah.

[1:06:46] Aabria Iyengar: That...

[1:06:48] Conner Marx: We gotta start from the bottom.

[1:06:50] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, no. Listen, I had gone to trust you. The reason that I was also opening up to you, because I thought that you were actually finally the person that could make her settle down.

[1:07:02] Conner Marx: That could make her...

[1:07:06] Aabria Iyengar: We have ways of...

[1:07:07] Conner Marx: Do we speak frankly? If you saw my smile...

[1:07:10] Aabria Iyengar: We might as well now.

[1:07:12] Conner Marx: We might as well now. We're almost there.

[1:07:15] Aabria Iyengar: Then you should know that I am very good at what I do.

[1:07:22] Conner Marx: So believe me when I say there is nothing that would make her settle down. There's nothing that will bring her peace. She is not a thing of peace. She is a thing of subjugation that was made by her father, that was made by a warlord that bound you to purpose. And you sell it land by land again and again. And you advocate for stillness as if that is a life or peace. I hate you because you taught her to be this.

[1:07:53] Aabria Iyengar: I had no choice.

[1:07:57] Conner Marx: I taught her. I tried as hard as I could to teach her to love everyone and everything. I tried. I tried to take her out. I tried to show her. But it ate her from the inside.

[1:08:11] Aabria Iyengar: I taught her too well.

[1:08:13] Conner Marx: She adored the people of her kingdom. She wanted nothing more than to leave. She wanted to leave the palace. She wanted to leave everything behind. But then she was crowned and she began to rule.

[1:08:27] Aabria Iyengar: And she began to make the decisions that every monarch before her has ever made.

[1:08:33] Conner Marx: And for a while, for a while, she made them with love.

[1:08:39] Aabria Iyengar: And it ate her.

[1:08:41] Conner Marx: I think you believe that. I think you believe that.

[1:08:46] Aabria Iyengar: You are.

[1:08:46] Conner Marx: That's why I don't trust you.

[1:08:48] Aabria Iyengar: Very young.

[1:08:52] Conner Marx: Yeah. And the worst thing you ever did to this world was fish her out of a river a hundred years before I was born.

[1:09:03] Aabria Iyengar: And what will you do, Shadow?

[1:09:08] Conner Marx: Will you call her Scorpion?

[1:09:11] Aabria Iyengar: Not yet.

[1:09:13] Conner Marx: I do not need the Scorpion to do my dirty work.

[1:09:18] Aabria Iyengar: He does hers.

[1:09:22] Conner Marx: I tend to do my own.

[1:09:25] Aabria Iyengar: That I do believe.

[1:09:28] Conner Marx: Finally, truth.

[1:09:29] Aabria Iyengar: Good night.

[1:09:33] Conner Marx: Sleep well.

[1:09:33] Aabria Iyengar: Oh my god! Oh my god!

[1:09:35] Cassidy Sledge: Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[1:09:37] Aabria Iyengar: Yay! I love it here!

[1:09:40] Will Champion: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's very good.

[1:09:43] Aabria Iyengar: When was the last time the queen hurt you?

[1:09:45] Cassidy Sledge: Ow! I love it here!

[1:09:53] Aabria Iyengar: Of course. It was when she asked me to do what I must do. It was painful then in a way that it is not now. The wheels have begun to spin.

[1:10:07] Aabria Iyengar: After all, we are just following what the tapestry demands.

[1:10:18] Aabria Iyengar: As it was sowed so long ago. But still, to find my place in such a weaving is, or was, troubling.

[1:10:31] Aabria Iyengar: But the Alabaster Queen asked me to the court because she knew she needed somebody to do what she was unable to, to assist her in her final moving. To make sure the pieces were in place and that she was fit for eternity.

[1:11:01] Aabria Iyengar: To ask me to do such a thing is a wound. Because she knows what she has come to mean to me.

[1:11:15] Aabria Iyengar: But duty is duty. What is preordained must come to pass. And someone must be bold enough to do it.

[1:11:26] Aabria Iyengar: I want to scream. Does anyone know what this task is beyond you and her?

[1:11:42] Will Champion: Well, you do of course.

[1:11:46] Will Champion: What do you think the point of this is? Alabaster and Onyx can only last for so long.

[1:11:53] Will Champion: There is forever here and forever there. And that is a threshold that she is almost ready to cross.

[1:12:06] Aabria Iyengar: Did you, on day one, know of this task?

[1:12:11] Aabria Iyengar: I am the newest member. Hired for a purpose. Here, in this carriage, because we barrel towards destiny. One or the other.

[1:12:23] Aabria Iyengar: And you and the Queen have the same understanding of what this task is?

[1:12:27] Will Champion: Indeed we do.

[1:12:32] Aabria Iyengar: I am your fiercest ally. Whatever you have asked of me to assist, I willingly gave. What part do I play?

[1:12:45] Will Champion: Ensuring that I take the blame when the realm comes to know.

[1:12:53] Will Champion: Ensuring that I take the blame when the realm comes to know.

[1:13:04] Will Champion: Ensuring that her privacy, her truths, are kept respected. Treasured like jewels amongst those who have seen them, but hidden from the eyes of the realm, who only know the mask.

[1:13:29] Will Champion: And to ensure that when the time truly comes, if our Alabaster Queen balks from this truth, that she instead rises to the occasion.

[1:13:42] Aabria Iyengar: Rises to the occasion. And what am I to you, Bishop?

[1:13:54] Cassidy Sledge: At times an aggravation, but a necessary one. As I have said, you look for the part of the Queen which I certainly find missing now, and wonder if it was ever there to begin with.

[1:14:15] Cassidy Sledge: And while I am so completely focused on Her Majesty's otherness, it has been refreshing to collude with somebody who is so far from my own purposes.

[1:14:38] Cassidy Sledge: And you remind me of what we stand to lose.

[1:14:49] Aabria Iyengar: The Queen once expressed a desire you knew you couldn't fulfill. What have you done about it?

[1:15:01] Conner Marx: Okay, okay baby, what's your whole deal? Lay it on us.

[1:15:10] Aabria Iyengar: So, Onyx, Obsidian Eyes, I think sort of an iridescent coat. There is, if we are here in the Alabaster Empire, a world of humans as we recognize them. I think there is something very inhuman about me. I think that's why they call me Beetle.

[1:15:32] Aabria Iyengar: But Mother refers to me as her little bug. And I'm going to amend my answer earlier. I don't think it's that I don't know where I came from, but stolen just isn't the vocabulary that makes any sense to me. Because when something is stolen, when something is stolen, something is taken out of greed or impulse or want, I was procured for this singular purpose, which was to bring peace.

[1:16:11] Aabria Iyengar: We are an envoy on our way to the Obsidian Citadel, the Onyx Citadel, the Onyx Citadel. The Alabaster Empire is singular. These little city-states, they bend the knee, or there is, what, war, there's violence, there's bloodshed. I am the just-in-case.

[1:16:36] Aabria Iyengar: The just-in-case. If they do not accept, you know, as this emissary of peace, this bended knee, then I think all of my, these eyes, it's not only the eyes, it's the training. It's 18 hours a day of being fed information, of being honed to a T, so that I am able to take the qualities within me and see these futures, see these paths, and help them choose the right path, help them choose the path that saves the most life, help them choose the path of prosperity and peace as a subsidiary of the Alabaster Empire.

[1:17:29] Aabria Iyengar: But in case they don't, I am the off-switch to this entire populace. I am the death of the mothership, so to speak, the just-in-case. And I know this, and I am so excited because either of these options result in peace.

[1:17:53] Aabria Iyengar: But to this question, the Queen once expressed a desire you knew you couldn't fulfill. Once I was in her, her bedchamber, and she was, I don't have hair to brush, but I do need to be, you know, oiled up every night.

[1:18:15] Aabria Iyengar: And she was doing this as lovingly as she ever does, making sure that my plates don't squeak and creak. And she told me that she imagines a life where I make my own decisions, where I make friends and play with them just as one of them, where I might meet someone, want to kiss them, follow them down that path that leads either to a life of happiness or, more presumably in the case of romance, a contract with loss, which in small doses, increasing as one gets older, is manageable and part of the experience of being alive.

[1:19:01] Aabria Iyengar: But she knew, and I knew, that all of these quintessentially human experiences were not part of my purpose, that I was not the one who was supposed to be the one who needed to be loved. That my purpose was what was happening on this trip.

[1:19:28] Aabria Iyengar: And I don't think that I felt sad because I couldn't even fathom what she was talking about. I couldn't fathom that kind of autonomy, that kind of interest in making decisions, in choosing whimsy, or choosing caprice, or choosing to kiss, or choosing whatever.

[1:19:48] Aabria Iyengar: I was... Yes? I'm finished. No, go for it. How isolated are you in your studies?

[1:19:57] Conner Marx: I have my tutors. I am at times hooked up with various feeds and drips. I assume many of which, of course, the Golden Bishop supplies.

[1:20:18] Conner Marx: But I don't... I mean, I have... Yeah, I am built to prepare for this.

[1:20:24] Aabria Iyengar: Do you ride with us in the carriage, Beetle, or do you ride with Our Lady?

[1:20:30] Conner Marx: I ride with Mother.

[1:20:34] Conner Marx: When I go to these city-states to choose an envoy, they present... We ask them to present their best and the brightest, so that we may take them back to the Alabaster Empire and prepare them to be an envoy. They offer up young men who are always thrilled to be offered.

[1:21:09] Aabria Iyengar: You were so scared. You were terrified. And I chose you. And as we rode back, just you and I in a carriage, a few guards, who would want to harm a tiny Beetle, you asked me about the Queen. And I told you something that made that fear turn into excitement. Do you remember what it was?

[1:21:41] Conner Marx: How old are we placing me at here?

[1:21:43] Aabria Iyengar: I think you were about seven.

[1:21:46] Conner Marx: And this was the first venture that I had made?

[1:21:51] Aabria Iyengar: You were seven, and the people of the Onyx Citadel knew that I was coming to... This is the first step that the Alabaster Kingdom takes in diplomacy with any city-state, is to go and procure someone who will be raised with us and become an envoy.

[1:22:12] Aabria Iyengar: Six, seven is usually what we take. And yeah, I think this was the first time that you had probably left your home.

[1:22:19] Conner Marx: Well, then let's say, if I was being prepared for this by my home, then I think that they...

[1:22:29] Aabria Iyengar: That's the beauty of recording backstage right there, baby.

[1:22:33] Conner Marx: I think that they had already... They weren't going to put all their eggs in this basket, that I was already on the... I was already ostracized. And what you offered me was love, being singularly loved by someone, someone who will be devoted to me, and who I may be devoted to in return.

[1:22:55] Aabria Iyengar: Absolutely.

[1:22:56] Conner Marx: Cool. I want to solicit everyone's help. Let's figure out... Because I don't have a crystal clear picture of what exactly I am doing as an offering. Who's got ideas?

[1:23:07] Aabria Iyengar: I don't think... There's a lot of magic in this world, but I think we don't speak of it. That's not the thing that is talked about, even if that is the thing that is true.

[1:23:15] Aabria Iyengar: I think you were brought as a ward into the state. It is a part of a... That's an exchange. Someone goes, but we don't worry about it because they will be reclaimed by the empire when the empire brings that place into the fold.

[1:23:30] Aabria Iyengar: So I think you are sort of above... You are spoken of as simply the returning of a great promise, and the proof of life, and health, and prosperity. You are the promise of joining this kingdom made manifest.

[1:23:58] Aabria Iyengar: But I think what you actually are is the tether to that land. And your blood spilled on your soil is a blight on that place. So if you are sacrificed when returned to your home, your death beggars the land. As with all envoys before.

[1:24:22] Aabria Iyengar: As the Prodigals, and we have been procuring them for eons. There are other Prodigals in the kingdom. You are the Queen's favorite. So someone has not bent the knee in the past. Absolutely. Many. Now, but for those who do, what becomes of the Prodigals? I think they become what you look around the court? Yeah, I think they become either get to return to the court if they are like in favor enough with the Queen, or they stay in their homes as governors. And like, in their in the land of their. Yeah, exactly. Stay there. And you're an envoy. Exactly. Become a prodigal. And that I think flips the prodigal around because now you are, of course, a prodigal in both places. Yes. Yeah. And a conduit and still a go between leeching something and passing it like I am there is some sort of Absolutely, I think, as I'm sorry to jump on you.

But I think when you said leeching, I really the idea that the idea that if you if you are sacrificed, that it will blight the land, your continued existence because of magics laid upon you by various of some of us in this retinue, essentially does the opposite of that your continued existence becomes a battery for the lands and like not not just the diplomacy, but for the fields. When you move a pawn across a chessboard, and it reaches the other side, it tends to transform into something more useful. Yeah, but I think in this case, that useful thing loses some humanity, quote unquote, given what this creature does become a battery like I do become installed in this new place. Yeah, you are a deterrent.

You're a nuke that now lives on their throne. Yeah. If you are killed, the curse goes through. If they simply let you die of natural causes, and God, it takes those prodigals so long to die. I think it's one step further. I don't think I'm living a life there. I think that I am truly like returning whether it's I think in case, yeah, like fully installed. Oh, my God, like part of the ritual, part of the diplomacy ritual, if they do bend the knee is that we will essentially entomb you in state. Oh, amazing. Which is why the Queen once expressed I have to so many children, the Queen wants expressed a desire that I would grow old. Yeah. And we both know, you cannot either way it goes, whether I am detonated to cause the blight or installed to become the battery.

I have the I think I have however long it takes for us to get there. And however long it takes to negotiate, wondering about the life of the prodigals in their a, you know, sarcophagi keeps keeps the shadow up at night. Often.

[1:27:29] Will Champion: That's why this trip's taking so fucking long. She's stalling. Oh, soon. What do you usually do for the Queen? Why does that make you unlikely choice for the Nope, I'm gonna X this one out. Sweet. Thank you. Somebody had to do that. Yeah. When was the last time the Queen was gentle with you? Fuck? Bishop? For me? We know mine. Yeah. It was the day before we left. On this excursion, she came down to the laboratory. I have to suppose in theory to make sure all my preparations were in order. But it became clear that was not quite the case. I have been troubled with this responsibility, mostly clandestine as it has been. And she simply sat with me. She asked if I would brew her tea, which I did without question.

And then she made me pour two cups, which I was not accustomed to doing either. Tea from where I hailed from outside the confines of the Alabaster Empire, smelling like rosemary and perhaps a hint of jasmine. It was quiet save for the drippings of my various concoctions. And we did not speak much for when the Alabaster Lady and I do speak, it is often of business and weavings and unspoken things. So to not speak at all is to convey the most volumes. And so we sat and we drank and we simply were. That was the last quiet moment I expect to share with her, with Andromeda, before it all unravels. I will miss it. But I will keep that tea with me always.

[1:29:37] Aabria Iyengar: Why are you so fucking certain that everything's going to fall apart? Have you read the tapestry?

[1:29:43] Cassidy Sledge: You know, I can't read.

[1:29:45] Aabria Iyengar: It's not a matter of words, but I know you didn't read this one. I am certain of very few things. Certainty is not a currency in my field, nor one that anyone should spend, save those with the grace and ability to swing the sword of mercy, perhaps. But I am certain that unless our Lady's request comes to pass, things will unravel in a way none ever should. There are cycles that are eternal, and there are cycles that must end. Though you, her scorpion, are not party to any of that.

[1:30:37] Will Champion: If you think for one fucking second that I'm going to take my eyes off of you at any point during this envoy, you're dead wrong. One single slip, one single movement that indicates that you might not have our Queen's best intentions at heart, you're dead.

[1:30:51] Aabria Iyengar: I would hope for nothing less. You, as her scorpion, are not just charged with protecting our Alabaster Queen, but all of her retinue. If your eyes glance away from any of us, then you are not doing your job, and your tale, that fearsome stinger, is not in its right place. Thank you for your service to the Mosque.

[1:31:11] Cassidy Sledge: Oh my god, you make me so goddamn mad. You make me so angry. You make me so mad, Mr. Champion. Sorry, Mr. Bishop. I love it here.

[1:31:20] Aabria Iyengar: You're out. That was my question.

[1:31:22] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, oh. Okay. Uh, what question do you wish you could ask the Queen? What keeps you from asking it?

[1:31:31] Aabria Iyengar: Ooh.

[1:31:33] Cassidy Sledge: I want to give this to you.

[1:31:34] Aabria Iyengar: Ooh!

[1:31:36] Cassidy Sledge: Oosh!

[1:31:37] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah?

[1:31:37] Cassidy Sledge: Oosh!

[1:31:41] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. I mean, the question that I wish I could ask, that is always, constantly almost on my lips, is simply, do you think we can stop? I can't ask it, because if she says yes, if she were, for one second, to entertain the idea that we could somehow turn any of this around, I would be forced to entertain that thought. And I can't. This is how I have been dealing with the presence of all of you for generations. There can't be another way. This, this, the Eternal Queen is eternal, and must be. And it's that. So what keeps me from asking it is, is self-preservation.

[1:32:36] Aabria Iyengar: I'm going to ask a tag question, because it's technically your turn still, Cass. How did the Scorpion respond when I asked you to kill the Shadow?

[1:32:53] Cassidy Sledge: I asked you to kill the Shadow. I think we both know I was pretty surprised.

[1:33:02] Aabria Iyengar: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[1:33:06] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah.

[1:33:07] Aabria Iyengar: Woo!

[1:33:09] Cassidy Sledge: I'm not very privy to the, the inner personal life of Our Lady. I do know that the two of you are certainly the two individuals, save for the bug, that spend the most time with her, and I would assume have the most important conversations. And I, I don't know, I just kind of assumed you guys were like best buds. And like, I am so out of it. I'm so out of what's going on. I do think between the two of you, I do feel like, as Our Lady's right hand, you are so close to her that I would be shocked if your intentions didn't align with hers. So for the first time ever sensing a disconnect, because if she wanted the Shadow dead, I'm sure she would have just asked me, hearing it come from you, it's making me, it made me do a little bit of mental math that I don't know I've solved yet.

I just want to be clear. I, I'm worried. I think he is wavering as we approach the Citadel. It's something that we have talked about at night, but her love for him and his loyalty across generations, I think she, love can blind the best of us. And I don't know if she sees him or the thing that he has been in her life for hundreds of years. I would not ask you to swing your sword unjustly. I ask then only that you watch him. And if you see what I see, do what it is in your instinct to do, Scorpion.

[1:35:07] Aabria Iyengar: I always have trusted you. And I always will trust you. And I appreciate you confiding in me these concerns. And I will absolutely keep an eye on him for you. Thank you.

[1:35:19] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, I did not believe you. I do not believe you.

[1:35:24] Aabria Iyengar: You weren't there. Yeah, you're a beetle. No one hangs out with you. You're hung, you're being hung up, getting juices, put in or taken out.

[1:35:30] Cassidy Sledge: I am getting juices.

[1:35:31] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah.

[1:35:32] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah. How can people...

[1:35:35] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, oh, that's boring.

[1:35:39] Cassidy Sledge: Well, it's how can people, everybody fucking knows that I've been alive for a fucking 500 years.

[1:35:43] Aabria Iyengar: For sure.

[1:35:47] Cassidy Sledge: When did you know that you would never forgive the Queen?

[1:35:51] Aabria Iyengar: Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[1:35:52] Cassidy Sledge: The deck tells a story.

[1:35:53] Aabria Iyengar: Let's go.

[1:35:55] Cassidy Sledge: There was in her early reign, when I thought that the lessons that I had provided, the upbringing that her father and I had so carefully tried to instill in her, we were trying to prepare a person to live forever. Something that I was the only person, the only person with finger quotes that had even maybe the ability to understand. We were trying to prepare a person to live forever. We thought we'd done it. We celebrated. This beautiful young girl that had so much light and we believed could rule justly forever. I will never forget the day that I saw that light die. We had been conquering. We had, we never called it that. We had been acquiring new city-states, new kingdoms, and the Alabaster Empire was continuing to grow.

And in the early days, it was growing fast. So fast that we had trouble continuing to grow. So fast that we had trouble instilling our culture into these new city-states. And there was a particularly troubling bishop in a neighboring kingdom. He was an instigator. They had bent the knee. Their prodigal was, had been beloved at home. Everyone loved him. He was a prodigal that before we kept them isolated and before we controlled them as much as we do now, the prodigals used to walk among the populace and they would appear at festivals and people adored this beautiful young man. The populace of the city-state was happy to bend the knee. They loved us, but we could not get them to accept our traditions. We could not get them to fully fall in line. And she ran out of patience. She invited him to take part in a tradition in their town square.

[1:38:26] Aabria Iyengar: She told him that they would combine traditions, combine rituals and make something new. And instead, she killed him. She executed him, herself, to demonstrate the power of the Alabaster Empire. And it was that day that I knew that I had lost and that I was stuck. And that I was, from that moment on, a nation unto myself. And the next day, I got in a wagon and I went to another city to choose another scared seven-year-old. To bring home. What were your last thoughts when the scorpion felled you?

[1:39:29] Will Champion: Are we there yet? I want to just make sure Cassidy has the opportunity to make their own choices.

[1:39:37] Cassidy Sledge: Okay. I would like to hold that action. I'm there. I'm not going to negate it, but I think that's going to happen organically. And I will tell you that I think I know it's coming. And I imagine that my... As I sit by the fire, having just been told, good night, I imagine what it will feel like when the scorpion caves my head in. I've watched him brutally dismember, kill. I have seen the gore and the viscera. And I wonder what my... I wonder what it will smell like. I wonder how many feelings I will have. And I wonder if I will finally be free of this cage that I have been in for eons. I wonder if it will be free, or I wonder if it will be over. And I think to myself, something has to be next.

[1:41:14] Aabria Iyengar: I'm passing this to you.

[1:41:16] Conner Marx: Oh. Why are some others at the royal court jealous of your relationship with the queen?

[1:41:22] Cassidy Sledge: She's so long-lived. It took a couple generations for those of us of the blood, high turnover, we live, we die, we repeat, to learn the game, to figure out the thing that slips behind the mask. To figure out the thing that slips behind the mask. I am a thing of blood, with a silver tongue. And there are others like me, but they are jealous. Because a lot of us have tried, but no one was like me. We've been looking for that little bit of slip, that flaw in the alabaster, for a hundred years. And there was something in my accidentally too brash, a little uncouth at times, laughs a little too loud, a little imperfect, that was exactly the balm to the thing that she is. Their mistake was thinking that she would love something like her. It was all of our mistake. They're jealous that I figured out that she wants something that is nothing like her. She is tired of sameness, somewhere inside her. Somewhere inside her.

[1:43:03] Will Champion: And before we are mired in all that comes after, remind me, what did you say when our alabaster queen and I approached you for a vial of your blood?

[1:43:09] Cassidy Sledge: Blood spills, easily, I have given more. I will give more. Anything for you. It was a kindness that you were just far enough away, that looking in both of your directions, she couldn't quite tell who I was answering. There are a lot of places that bleed freely and easily. I chose a vein beneath my tongue and poured the blood out into the vial and sealed it with a knot. A kiss.

[1:44:03] Conner Marx: Bishop, what promise did the queen make to you before this journey? Do you think she'll keep it?

[1:44:22] Aabria Iyengar: She will, one way or another. I am in the business of solving the unsolvable, of understanding what is not possible to know. She promised me that to join her here, to do this task, would put me on the threshold of great understanding, to enact eternal change. And whether she knows it or not, that change has already begun, like the turning of a wheel, it has yet to make its full rotation. I know not what path of change we will land on, but she will keep this promise before the end. I will be singular in my understanding when the mask falls alabaster into the mud.

[1:45:29] Cassidy Sledge: In no particular order, the queen is under attack. Do you defend her?

[1:45:44] Will Champion: Oh dear listeners, there is a huge scare off in this room. I knock at mother's door. I hate the word mother. I know, I know, I know, I'm right there with you. There is no answer. The knock is just a game we play. It's not actually asking permission. It's a very specific rhythm that I do and that she knocks back and it makes a little tune. It's our kind of call and response to one another. She knows and I know that I have passage in and out of her chambers at any time. And it's not eerie. It's not alarming. It's unfathomable. It stumps me in a way that I forget to breathe for a few moments and then something else takes over, whatever it is that pilots us when our brains click off and my hand reaches out. I turn the doorknob and walk in.

[1:46:43] Aabria Iyengar: Looking back on this, I'll later wonder what I noticed first. Whether it was the mirror that had the jar of oil uncapped and ready on the mantle in front of it. Whether it was the bedsheets, which I didn't notice at the time. Whether it was the bedsheets, which were perfectly made, ironed and tight. Whether it was some other seemingly insignificant detail that just happened to be the thing that stuck in my brain because the most significant piece of the room was perhaps so, again, unnatural that it took me a second to register as I looked up and saw my mother floating in midair, little wisps of maybe blood, maybe something else starting to droplet out of her body in all directions, hovering in the air around her.

[1:48:01] Cassidy Sledge: Contingencies. Blood spreads, blood spills. I was never meant to see the Citadel. It was all for here and for this. The last messages sent, bidding them to not trust the retinue's arrival, to not let her through the gates. Attack her now while they are weakest. Messages again and again from a hundred conquered kingdoms, of which I was a member of court. Sent in the moment of weakness, break and scatter. This empire is too large. If everyone jumps and everyone lands, alabaster fractures into a thousand tiny kingdoms. The only contingency that I think I can cover for, I have little access to the beetle and little want to spill innocent blood. I have little access to the beetle and little want to spill innocent blood.

I only worry about the scorpion and I wonder if I am equal to the task. The arrogance in me leaves a note, my lineage, so mixed but dotted along the family lines. A dozen prodigals. Again and again, blood pulled away, blood brought back, blood made into stone. I was built for this, for her destruction. I have given you everything I can and I leave the rest to you, Bishop. And I will do my best to find the scorpion unawares. And where he is a blunt instrument, I hope to be a dagger in the night. But you can tell me how I did. But I don't make it from this moment. The queen is attacked. I do not defend her. I pray for their victory.

[1:50:17] Aabria Iyengar: I think it was the scream that I heard first, if you could even call it that. I suppose it was more of a garbled cry that you choked out. And of course I came running because someone of your demeanor would never exclaim. And when I entered the chamber, I think we arrived at the same time, Shadow. I wasn't entirely sure what to make of the situation. And I was frustrated that you weren't there, Right Hand, because I didn't know what was going on. I just know that I'd been told to keep an eye out for the Shadow. And here he was. And here I was. And there she was. And there she was.

[1:51:15] Will Champion: Yeah, let's go together.

[1:51:18] Cassidy Sledge: It had been 300 years since I had felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. That old binding, the remnants of the ritual that we had completed with her father in the room, smiling at us, knowing that his daughter would live forever, that I had not felt so long it's been since she was in any sort of real danger. So for my musings and my studies, I bolt upright. I sprint to her chambers. I kick the door open and I see the scorpion standing there. And I see her floating. But all I can see is a child drowning in a river. That's all she's ever been to me. Someone who needs my help.

[1:52:30] Conner Marx: Someone who, if they go under and do not come back up again, spells the end for not just her, not the end of my promise, not the end of my power, but the end of everything. And I see you there. Her blunt object. And I remember my conversations with the right hand. And I draw my blade. And I advance on you. I turn to you, beetle. And I say, turn around. And I take out my Morningstar. And I charge at you. And you, I think the loyal devotee that you have been for how many hundreds of years. You're slipping. You're older. Your dexterity isn't what it once was. Your instincts fail. You're able to parry one, two of my attacks. It's not enough. I am defending the Queen. I think. And when the Morningstar crushes my right knee into a paste, I remember pain for the first time in centuries.

And with the pain comes a memory of something before. My blade clatters to the ground. I look up. And my last thoughts are not of what's next. They're of you. Of what a true faithful servant really is. Of what actual devotion is. And I smile. And I say, it should have been you the whole time. It should have been someone like you. And you bring the Morningstar down. And the shadow takes one last breath. Tries to experience the last thing he knows he'll ever experience in his long, long life. And he sighs. And meets death.

[1:55:18] Conner Marx: What does it smell like? Sweeter than he thought it would be. You're still up. I tried to kill you.

[1:55:31] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, are you here?

[1:55:33] Conner Marx: Not in the room. You can decide. I'd like to fully decide what happens, how it goes. I just know, the right hand knows that you are singular enough that you could pull defeat from the jaws of victory for what she is doing. So she's just going to try to throw herself at you. Beetle, what are you doing?

[1:55:59] Cassidy Sledge: Looking up in amazement.

[1:56:05] Will Champion: The boy ain't right.

[1:56:06] Cassidy Sledge: Great.

[1:56:07] Conner Marx: Not on YouTube. This is happening in the background. If we were to watch this as a movie, we have an angle on Beetle's tranquil face as this bloodshed happens out of focus in the blurry distance behind him. And he doesn't blink or move an inch as he looks up at his mother.

[1:56:29] Cassidy Sledge: Okay. I still don't know what's going on. But I know you are the most precious thing to her. And so I think with a quick glance at you, seeing that you're okay. And he doesn't even turn around. There is nothing in this room that would have indicated that he sees you. And yet still, unmistakably, he inhales, holds his hand out, palm facing down just an inch to his side, and bounces it just so. And you know, he's telling you, I'm all right. This was what was supposed to happen.

[1:57:18] Will Champion: Ain't right.

[1:57:19] Cassidy Sledge: I pick the Morningstar up and it schlorps out of the shadow's head. The shadow's head. I try and shake off the viscera. Gets all over me even more so than it already was. I wipe the blood from my eyes. And I, I think I try and find you, Bishop.

[1:57:40] Aabria Iyengar: Then I will do my best to intercept you on your way to go find him. Like it wouldn't have been in her like quarters. But anywhere in the dark, she would try to get the drop on you.

[1:57:54] Cassidy Sledge: Great. I think I am screaming and I am charging straight for your chambers from the Queen's Chambers. So I'm making my way to the Alchemical Studio. I'm booking it.

[1:58:15] Aabria Iyengar: Making my way to the Alchemical Studio.

[1:58:18] Cassidy Sledge: Then yeah, okay. I will, I will trigger, trigger this by just saying that like, at some point I will slide behind you. While you are yelling and frustrated, like as you shift your Morningstar, we slip behind masks, we slip under armor, you feel the like slow push of an extremely like sharp stiletto. It slides between your armor at your ribs. I know it's not enough to kill you.

[1:58:49] Aabria Iyengar: Before I know what's going on, I've turned around and my Morningstar is fucking knocking you back, dog.

[1:58:55] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah.

[1:58:55] Aabria Iyengar: I'm, you are against the wall. My Morningstar is in your chest.

[1:58:58] Cassidy Sledge: Yeah.

[1:59:00] Aabria Iyengar: What? Why? What? What do you, what, what's happening?

[1:59:06] Cassidy Sledge: Think for yourself. And as you push in, like, it's one of those things where like, you are used to battering people who are armored. I am a soft thing. I'm her soft thing. So even in your like accusatory, like holding me at bay, spikes sink through, and she is slowly impaled. I am not letting up on the pressure. You tell me what's happening. What are you doing? Why would you betray her?

[1:59:33] Aabria Iyengar: I have betrayed nothing but the people she claimed to serve.

[1:59:37] Cassidy Sledge: That you claim to serve. You are a soldier of this kingdom. Bid to defend all of us. There were different ways to go about this. How many hundreds of years do you have to suffer under tyranny? Before you take the last and final course? Wake up!

[2:00:01] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, I think with that, your head's come and clean off.

[2:00:05] Cassidy Sledge: Yay! Bye!

[2:00:07] Aabria Iyengar: Oh, man, that did not feel good.

[2:00:10] Cassidy Sledge: No, death feels good to me normally, but I liked you and I trusted you.

[2:00:15] Aabria Iyengar: But you called my, my queen a tyrannical dictator.

[2:00:19] Will Champion: Bishop.

[2:00:20] Cassidy Sledge: Bring us home.

[2:00:21] Aabria Iyengar: You find the alchemical chambers empty. Not just of myself, but of all my supplies. Soaked in blood, the scorpion walks in. It is as if no one ever inhabited this carriage.

[2:00:35] Cassidy Sledge: I remember distinctly, sharing tea with her, how a lady in alabaster asked me, all masks aside, skull gleaming in torchlight, would it hurt? To which there was only ever one reply.

[2:00:56] Aabria Iyengar: I do not know, my lady, but I will be as gentle as I can. Death is a gentle act.

[2:01:09] Cassidy Sledge: The gift of the right hand, blood of the blood, used to call upon the echoing spirits of every envoy, every prodigal past, hanging like strings tethered to one great puppet in the air, that was not a gentle act, kind to no one. But no one had been kind to the envoys in the first place. Their invisible hands guided our queen up into the air and stripped her of the bindings that kept her in place all these long centuries, piece by piece, ounce by ounce.

[2:01:47] Aabria Iyengar: I do not know what she felt. I do not know what she was capable of feeling. I do not know what she was capable of feeling. But as she drifted away, that grin etched into bone, I could have sworn I heard it sighing. When at last there was no more of her essence left to wean back, paid as recompense from all the lives she had taken, I take your hand. Come, beetle. There is much left to see.

[2:02:32] Conner Marx: So, the camera is holding on the bishop, as you say that. The camera starts to pan around to see beetle holding your hand, and the moment before, we cut back to the bedchamber, where the shadow lies bloody on the ground, on our way passing the body of the right hand, equally mangled. And we see that moment after the scorpion left the chamber in pursuit of either the bishop's lair or the right hand, and beetle, sitting on the floor, softly humming to himself, reaches out and touches one of those levitating droplets, that bead of blood or whatever else it is, and it begins to coat his hand. The iridescence burns brighter, travels up his skin. He moves through these droplets and grabs his mother's hand.

There's not a jolt, but there is a click. That mask, more than metaphor, moves off of her face. Without any violence, her ribs open up. An invitation. Her body creates space. The beetle stands, climbs up inside her, positions himself as he would, and the ribs click back in place. The mask returns to her face. This liquid is sucked back into the body. The queen, identical and restored, but for a subtle iridescent shimmer on her skin, and completely jet-black obsidian eyes. We now cut back into the alchemist's chamber, as this being holds your hand, and when you say, Come, beetle, there is much left to see.

[2:04:53] Cassidy Sledge: I'm ready to fulfill my purpose. Let's begin.

[2:05:00] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah.

[2:05:01] Conner Marx: Yeah!

[2:05:02] Will Champion: It's a good game.

[2:05:03] Cassidy Sledge: It's a good-ass game, right?

[2:05:04] Aabria Iyengar: Good game, right?

[2:05:05] Conner Marx: I am weakened.

[2:05:07] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, it's a real good game.

[2:05:10] Cassidy Sledge: Oh, thanks for this.

[2:05:11] Conner Marx: Thank you, Connor. This was lovely.

[2:05:14] Aabria Iyengar: Thanks for pitching this.

[2:05:15] Conner Marx: Fuck yeah, dude. This was, I don't even-

[2:05:18] Cassidy Sledge: You good?

[2:05:18] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, Cassidy's done.

[2:05:23] Conner Marx: I, oh man, well, that was great. This was lovely. You guys have got a, it's call in a few minutes, which is-

[2:05:29] Aabria Iyengar: I know, I know, I know.

[2:05:31] Conner Marx: The traditional ending of Alan Wellmet. It's like, oh fuck, we have to go. We have to do a show. But that was radical. I think we're going to probably play again.

[2:05:40] Aabria Iyengar: Yeah, hell yeah.

[2:05:42] Conner Marx: So yeah, this was glorious. Thanks.

[2:05:45] All: Thanks, everybody.

[2:05:48] Conner Marx: We usually do the big scream at the end, and I don't-

[2:05:52] Aabria Iyengar: Let's whisper it.

[2:05:52] Conner Marx: Yes.

[2:05:53] Aabria Iyengar: What's the big scream?

[2:05:54] Conner Marx: Oh.

[2:05:56] Aabria Iyengar: Until, very serious and intense.

[2:05:58] Conner Marx: Until next time.

[2:05:59] All: Ale.

[2:06:00] All: And Wellmet.

[2:06:29] All: Bye.