This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:31] Alan Wellmet: Hey Adventurers, what's up? It's Alex. It's Alan Wellmet. Maddy's here. She's got a mouthful of bread.

[0:38] Maddie Murphy: She's got us left on bread. Bread that she made. But she's chewing as fast as she can.

[0:42] Alan Wellmet: And she's about to hit us with an intro song. Here it comes. It's Alan Wellmet. The Twenty Sided Podcast. I just ate some bread and I'm ready to chat with all my new friends.

[0:53] Will Champion: They're not really new. It's Marianna Champion and Murphy. Woohoo!

[0:58] Alan Wellmet: Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Next 20!

[1:01] Alan Wellmet: Yes, I apologize. This has been a crazy rush day. We come in and record the podcast before shows.

[1:08] Alan Wellmet: And I did not have time to eat dinner. So I decided to just take a, in Alex's word, a peasant-sized hunk of bread.

[1:18] Will Champion: Oh man, it is good. You do look like it is. It would be hearty.

[1:22] Alan Wellmet: You dress like Trinity from Matrix. There's incongruencies every which way.

[1:26] Will Champion: If Trinity from Matrix dropped into a Knights of the Round Table movie, it was like, My lord, I've got a goodly crust of bread.

[1:36] Will Champion: It's also the chunk of butter on the bread that just sells the whole...

[1:40] Alan Wellmet: You could take a Norman Rockwell painting of that plate and you'd be set.

[1:44] Maddie Murphy: I really am hoping it softens in the next half hour.

[1:47] Will Champion: You know it's not going to.

[1:48] Alan Wellmet: I'm playing the long game, baby.

[1:49] Will Champion: Slow melting of your half a cup of butter.

[1:53] Maddie Murphy: It's a pat. I'd say a sufficient pat of butter.

[1:57] Will Champion: I mean, I did the classic drive-by piece of pizza on the way in, too.

[2:03] Alan Wellmet: I just grabbed some zillions, rolled it up, hucked it in my mouth. Game over.

[2:09] Will Champion: Loved it. Goddammit.

[2:12] Alan Wellmet: What do you do for dinner, William? If you gave a reasonable answer.

[2:15] Will Champion: I don't think I have a reasonable answer to give.

[2:17] Will Champion: I, at about 1pm, made two of the, what my brother and I call, Call Me By Your Names, which are Elio's frozen pizza.

[2:24] Will Champion: And they're about little rectangles.

[2:27] Maddie Murphy: Why are you doing that to yourself?

[2:30] Will Champion: Because it was 1pm.

[2:31] Maddie Murphy: No, I don't mean that. I mean, Elio's?

[2:34] Will Champion: Because it was cheap!

[2:35] Will Champion: And I had it from the supermarket from a couple days ago and I thought, Well, I'm doing 10,000 things at once, let me throw a couple Elio's in.

[2:41] Maddie Murphy: I've never even heard of this pizza place.

[2:43] Will Champion: It's because it's bad.

[2:45] Will Champion: It's like three freezer doors down from where you're buying yourself decent frozen pizzas.

[2:50] Maddie Murphy: It's the frozen pizza that Tombstone sneers at.

[2:55] Will Champion: Yeah, and it's like, I had a protein shake on the way in.

[3:00] Maddie Murphy: Get yourself a Red Baron personal pie, my dude.

[3:03] Will Champion: Because I don't need a whole pie.

[3:05] Will Champion: I don't need the whole thing. These are like little slates of pizza.

[3:09] Maddie Murphy: It's perfectly enough for what I needed it to be at the time.

[3:12] Will Champion: Little slate of pizza. That's what I want my...

[3:15] Maddie Murphy: Oh, I want to describe my dinner.

[3:17] Will Champion: Little Slate.

[3:19] Maddie Murphy: Lil Slate is a cool name.

[3:21] Will Champion: What's up, I'm Lil Slate.

[3:23] Maddie Murphy: What's up, Lil Slate.

[3:25] Will Champion: You could be Lil Slate.

[3:26] Maddie Murphy: Rapper from Omaha, Lil Slate.

[3:29] Will Champion: Victorian orphan rapper, Lil Slate.

[3:33] Maddie Murphy: I would say, I feel like my equivalent of that of just like, Oh, it's been years, but it's like, I still crave them Eggo waffles.

[3:40] Will Champion: Frozen Eggo waffles.

[3:42] Maddie Murphy: Again, that amount of butter on one.

[3:44] Will Champion: Just. It's a vessel to bring butter to your face.

[3:47] Maddie Murphy: Again, for the listeners at home, it is not... Don't let Maddie fool you. It's not an average pat of butter.

[3:53] Will Champion: It's a small, personally sizable, rectangular cube.

[3:58] Maddie Murphy: This is a sixth of a stick of butter.

[4:00] Will Champion: It's a sixth of a stick of butter.

[4:01] Maddie Murphy: I was going to be generous and give you an eighth.

[4:03] Will Champion: No, let's call it what it is.

[4:05] Maddie Murphy: This would be a mega pat.

[4:07] Will Champion: I was in a rush. As I was cutting it, I went, this is too much.

[4:10] Will Champion: And then I just went, no, I'm going to commit.

[4:12] Maddie Murphy: It's a measurement that you had to memorize in the third grade.

[4:14] Will Champion: It's like a cup.

[4:17] Maddie Murphy: Oh, so what I'm gleaning is that nobody had a reasonable dinner today.

[4:21] Alan Wellmet: No, we were all too busy getting hot.

[4:23] Will Champion: True.

[4:24] Alan Wellmet: Oh yeah. It is Aabria Iyengar's final show tonight.

[4:27] Alan Wellmet: And we decided that we would all dress up in whatever version we deemed was, I'm going out. We'd be in hotties for a mega hottie Aabria.

[4:36] Will Champion: Was the phrase ho-Tuesday? Is that the?

[4:38] Maddie Murphy: Yeah, ho-Tuesday.

[4:40] Alan Wellmet: Great. Just wanted to make sure that was on record somewhere.

[4:43] Maddie Murphy: We support all ho-culture.

[4:45] Alan Wellmet: It is amazing and it's ho-Tuesday.

[4:48] Maddie Murphy: And if you would like to replicate it, any listeners, please do. Ho-Tuesday.

[4:52] Alan Wellmet: You don't even need a special Tuesday.

[4:55] Maddie Murphy: Just any Tuesday.

[4:57] Alan Wellmet: Ho it up.

[4:58] Maddie Murphy: Whatever makes you feel, put the H and the O in hot, you do it.

[5:01] Will Champion: Murray is dressed like a man who is so wealthy.

[5:06] Will Champion: He doesn't care.

[5:08] Will Champion: He threw out all his three-piece suits when he made that final.

[5:12] Murray: Once I bought my third boat, I was like, I'm never putting on a tie again.

[5:16] Alan Wellmet: Yeah, so Murray is about to do some yacht rock on a boat.

[5:20] Will Champion: Yeah, I look like the mayor of Newport.

[5:22] Maddie Murphy: Oh, perfect.

[5:23] Will Champion: Wow.

[5:24] Maddie Murphy: William looks like he is the guy in a Hallmark movie who inexplicably owns the bookshop that is going out of business right before Christmas.

[5:36] Maddie Murphy: But oh my goodness, he's exotic because he's British.

[5:40] Will Champion: He's got an accent.

[5:41] Maddie Murphy: There it is.

[5:42] Will Champion: That's the role I was born to be.

[5:44] Maddie Murphy: It really is.

[5:45] Maddie Murphy: We just need to put on a slutty little pair of glasses for you and you could be like little bookkeeper champion.

[5:50] Will Champion: Should I have come in with like, little slate?

[5:53] Will Champion: I should have taken like a set of 3D glasses from a movie and popped the lenses out and worn those in today.

[6:00] Maddie Murphy: You're looking like you own a little slate's book barn in Christmasville, USA.

[6:06] Will Champion: I see you.

[6:07] Maddie Murphy: He's got a vest. He's got a sassy button down shirt underneath it.

[6:10] Maddie Murphy: He's got nice little socks that don't perfectly color match his dark leather shoes and his black pants.

[6:17] Maddie Murphy: He's showing a monochrome effect and he's got a sassy little leather cuff.

[6:22] Will Champion: I think the leather cuff might make him too much of a bad boy for Christmasburg, USA.

[6:26] Maddie Murphy: No, that leather cuff was made from his grandfather's oldest book left to him mysteriously, and it turns out that inside of said cuff is a Christmas riddle that only his true love can solve.

[6:37] Will Champion: It's the key to Christmas.

[6:39] Maddie Murphy: Yeah, and it saves little slate's bookstore.

[6:41] Will Champion: Oh, bookmarks the spot or something like that is the name of it.

[6:46] Maddie Murphy: And we already went for you, Maddie. You are in full trinity out here.

[6:49] Alan Wellmet: Please really describe it.

[6:50] Maddie Murphy: We are talking like, I believe the way you described it earlier, which is doing you a slight injustice, was I am wearing a leather jacket like a shirt or as a shirt.

[6:59] Maddie Murphy: And that's you. There's a fun sort of sheer moment you have under the leather jacket, full black latex leggings and kick-ass black boots with a long, chunky heel.

[7:10] Will Champion: Leggings is it looks like you went to one of those places where they like prepare truck beds for industrial use and had them just like spray that covering under your legs.

[7:20] Maddie Murphy: Wait, can you hold the mic to the legging as you move it?

[7:23] Maddie Murphy: Yeah.

[7:24] Maddie Murphy: Because I can hear that.

[7:25] Maddie Murphy: These are, yep, they are called, I call them my oil slick pants.

[7:29] Will Champion: Yeah.

[7:30] Maddie Murphy: And you can hear me. Here we go.

[7:34] Maddie Murphy: And that's ASMR content, folks.

[7:36] Will Champion: Like a windbreaker, but sweaty.

[7:40] Maddie Murphy: Yes.

[7:41] Maddie Murphy: I'm usually pretty sweaty when I'm in a windbreaker.

[7:42] Maddie Murphy: Listen, I love these pants so much. I also own them in wine red.

[7:46] Will Champion: Who, who she?

[7:47] Maddie Murphy: Is that what you did for Juggernaut?

[7:49] Maddie Murphy: Yeah, Merlot.

[7:50] Will Champion: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[7:51] Maddie Murphy: Oh, that was good.

[7:53] Maddie Murphy: I got them in Merlot. I got them in Pinot Noir. I got them in a tassel cap. Got them in Chardonnay.

[7:59] Will Champion: That was a mistake.

[8:00] Maddie Murphy: Oh, yeah.

[8:01] Maddie Murphy: It's flesh-toned, so it's highly disturbing.

[8:02] Will Champion: Your clear ones?

[8:03] Maddie Murphy: Yeah.

[8:04] Maddie Murphy: Just like, just like the backpacks you have to wear to school if you go to a dangerous school.

[8:09] Will Champion: That's sad.

[8:10] Alan Wellmet: What?

[8:11] Maddie Murphy: There are kids in America that have to wear clear backpacks to school.

[8:14] Will Champion: Oh.

[8:15] Maddie Murphy: Yes, yes.

[8:16] Will Champion: I knew about that.

[8:17] Maddie Murphy: Yes.

[8:18] Alan Wellmet: I didn't know what you were saying.

[8:19] Maddie Murphy: No, I was like halfway into it, and I was like, I couldn't, I couldn't.

[8:23] Alan Wellmet: Yeah, I had to skid into that turn. Sorry.

[8:25] Maddie Murphy: Oh, man. I'm thinking about peasant food still.

[8:31] Will Champion: It's the only kind of food.

[8:32] Alan Wellmet: Mutton?

[8:33] Maddie Murphy: Thank you.

[8:34] Alan Wellmet: Like, are we all? Hey, Diego's here.

[8:36] Will Champion: Look who it is.

[8:37] Alan Wellmet: Diego!

[8:38] Diego F. Salinas: What's up, dog?

[8:39] Alan Wellmet: Are you coming to talk? Hang out?

[8:41] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, dude, hop in. There's a microphone right there for you.

[8:43] Alan Wellmet: Let's just get into peasant food, which reminds me of like, what was the thing that you grew up eating that turns out is not a standard thing?

[8:47] Diego F. Salinas: This is what I wanted. I love that this is what this podcast is. It's just that every third episode, we all talk about food for a while, because we're all really hungry.

[8:54] Diego F. Salinas: Y'all are talking about peasant food, and I literally walk in with Burger King.

[8:57] Will Champion: Burger King.

[8:58] Diego F. Salinas: Crazy walk.

[9:00] Alan Wellmet: Crazy walk. Meant to be.

[9:01] Diego F. Salinas: Well, because my thing is, growing up, my single mom worked from home in her home office and was crazy busy, and we played soccer, the whole thing.

[9:07] Diego F. Salinas: It took me until I was 16 or some shit to be like, what do you mean you guys don't eat Bean of the Gods?

[9:12] Alan Wellmet: What is Bean of the Gods?

[9:13] Diego F. Salinas: What do you think Beans of the Gods is?

[9:15] Will Champion: I mean, I mean.

[9:16] Diego F. Salinas: I ate a lot of beans growing up.

[9:19] Diego F. Salinas: I never had divine beans.

[9:20] Will Champion: I'm guessing that's a, essentially, whatever stock bean you have in a can.

[9:26] Diego F. Salinas: Stock bean.

[9:27] Will Champion: Poured into.

[9:28] Diego F. Salinas: That's my rap name.

[9:29] Diego F. Salinas: Low Slatan Stock Bean.

[9:30] Will Champion: Stock Bean.

[9:31] Diego F. Salinas: You pour it into a saucepan, and it's good.

[9:35] Diego F. Salinas: I don't know what else you're mixing in there, but it's something that one time you had on hand that became the tradition that eventually evolved into Bean, Beans of the Gods.

[9:43] Diego F. Salinas: You are pretty close. So it is a crock pot recipe where my mom takes all the stock beans she has, like four cans of beans, and then your staple just vegetables that are always at the crisper, which is basically old celery and carrots, and then probably some tomatoes, and then a fuck ton of cumin and various other spices, and then she just would cook it all day.

[10:06] Will Champion: You're describing chili.

[10:07] Diego F. Salinas: Basically, but cheap chili, because it was a thing of like, we didn't sometimes, I don't know, times were tight. We weren't going to buy ground beef.

[10:13] Will Champion: That's what chili is.

[10:14] Diego F. Salinas: We were a gumbo household, because my dad's from so far east in Texas, it's just a swamp.

[10:21] Will Champion: Oh, yeah, yeah.

[10:22] Diego F. Salinas: He could throw a rock into Louisiana from where he lived.

[10:26] Diego F. Salinas: And yeah, man, they just grew up. Gumbo is literally just like empty your garbage into a pot and boil it so long enough with bay leaves in it that it tastes good, and then go down to the bait shop and buy shrimp and throw it in that shit.

[10:39] Will Champion: And this was us, just vegetarian, so trick us.

[10:41] Diego F. Salinas: And mom would sometimes lie and say there was meat in there. It was just cumin.

[10:43] Diego F. Salinas: And then we'd stretch it over rice, and I'd be like, yeah, bean of the gods, staple.

[10:49] Will Champion: And people, no. I mean, that sounds great. Here, it's great. It's a great meal.

[10:55] Diego F. Salinas: It's funny, because last time I went home, I had a talk with my mom, and I was like, my mom would make the best club sandwiches growing up.

[11:05] Diego F. Salinas: Nothing fancy, but lettuce, a BLT club sandwich.

[11:09] Will Champion: Hard to beat.

[11:10] Diego F. Salinas: Exactly. And I would tell my mom last time I went home, I was like, growing up, like, oh, my god, that was such a fun, like, I love when you made that. I, like, get a hankering for it now.

[11:20] Diego F. Salinas: And she told me, it was like, man, that's what I was making, like, when we were, like, we didn't have anything, like, in the fridge or in the pantry. That was, like, the survival meal.

[11:29] Will Champion: And it's funny, because it's, like, in the context of the adult.

[11:32] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, like bacon or something, you know.

[11:34] Diego F. Salinas: With the context of, like, as an adult now, I'm like, oh, that, like, makes a lot of sense. But, like, as a kid, I'm like, this is, like, mom's making BLTs again. Like, this is amazing.

[11:44] Will Champion: Well, it's also your mom's, like, there's a thing to say for, like, hey, this Wonder Bread got vitamins in it. You know, like, it is fortified.

[11:51] Diego F. Salinas: Like, let's just give him the Wonder Bread with some lettuce and some mayonnaise.

[11:55] Diego F. Salinas: For a long time, the only thing my dad could make when my parents got divorced, because he then was like, oh, no, I don't know how to cook, Hamburger Helper.

[12:03] Will Champion: Which also is so good.

[12:06] Diego F. Salinas: And so, like, buy Hamburger Helper, buy meat. It's $10. You will feed your whole family with that.

[12:13] Diego F. Salinas: They used to make a thing at the cafeteria. I mean, I grew up. I mean, this is going to sound real bougie.

[12:20] Diego F. Salinas: I grew up living at a private school, but my dad was a teacher there, and we ate a lot of meals at the cafeteria.

[12:25] Will Champion: And they made a thing called, not at all politically correctly, American Chop Suey.

[12:30] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yeah.

[12:32] Will Champion: And it was just Hamburger Helper.

[12:34] Diego F. Salinas: It's just macaroni and, like, ground meat and, like, a shitload of cumin and onions.

[12:40] Will Champion: And that's it.

[12:41] Diego F. Salinas: And it's like, I could eat it.

[12:43] Will Champion: It's the shit that we go down to Apple Market and get sometimes, essentially, which is just fucking spaghetti.

[12:48] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, the chicken spaghetti that they sell there.

[12:50] Will Champion: Yeah.

[12:52] Diego F. Salinas: The one for me, I think, that I, for a long time, thought was a well-known thing that people made, tuna pasta.

[12:59] Diego F. Salinas: It was my dad would make you boil up a thing of usually pasta shells or a few silly, I want to say.

[13:04] Will Champion: You mix up.

[13:09] Diego F. Salinas: No, you silly.

[13:11] Will Champion: Lots of silly.

[13:12] Diego F. Salinas: Got them.

[13:13] Will Champion: Got them between bites of bread.

[13:16] Diego F. Salinas: Many silly.

[13:17] Will Champion: We've got almost a whole rat group.

[13:19] Diego F. Salinas: Many silly, stock bean, and a little slate.

[13:22] Will Champion: Just one more to go.

[13:24] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, you'd then take a fucking jar of ragu or something, a can of chunk light tuna, and some mayonnaise, mix that together in a sauce, chuck it on the pasta, some Parmesan, maybe if we had it in the back of the fridge, call it a day.

[13:38] Diego F. Salinas: And I still eat that now, and I get the strangest looks.

[13:41] Will Champion: I've never heard of a tuna pasta.

[13:44] Diego F. Salinas: Listen, try it. I promise you.

[13:46] Will Champion: No, I've actually heard some other people where we didn't grow up eating that, but it is like the staple of we don't have much. We're not going to the store.

[13:55] Diego F. Salinas: Nope. Let's do it. Tuna's cheap.

[13:59] Diego F. Salinas: My family also, to this day, it's like, and it actually brings me, I have to learn how to make it. I still can't replicate it like my mom, but we have something called frosha, which is a made-up word.

[14:09] Diego F. Salinas: Because, again, 1960s. So my grandfather was proper Sicilian, spoke Sicilian, but it was the 1960s. So naturally his kiddos were going to be fully Americanized, so my mom doesn't know a word of Italian.

[14:37] Diego F. Salinas: I again, frozen spinach, egg, parmesan, breadcrumbs, and you cook it. It's a quiche. It's a quiche that you cook in olive oil. Again, it to me is like the ultimate comfort food, and it still, to me it feels gourmet fine dining. Can you just throw the breadcrumbs in there? You put olive oil in the pan, you toast a layer of breadcrumbs like that, and just as it's forming a crust, you put the rest on, and then you have to flip it so that you can create a crust on the other side. That sounds awesome. It's awesome. The flip is the most dangerous part. 80% of the time, 90% you drop it. And I have not mastered it, but I also it's just a thing of like, it to me is, I'll know that I've done, I'm taking on my family's customs when I can make froccia that stays together.

Is there like a thing for like you and your families where it's like, not like, I don't want to tie this to like the archaic notion like ahead of the household, but it's like, one day you want to host the Thanksgiving dinner or something like that, or cook like the signature family dish. Is there like a tradition or thing that you aspire to one day be like the facilitator or host of?

[15:50] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, gumbo. Again, that's like my dad's thing. It was Christmas Eve. I think we talked about this on the Christmas episode, as a matter of fact, is that like that was the night before Christmas. All through the house, Raymond was drinking and making gumbo. We make Christmas lasagna with homemade noodles. And then ideally, you make a little little pasta design on the top. So I made a dancing snowman last time.

[16:15] Will Champion: Oh my god.

[16:16] Diego F. Salinas: That's that's hella Italian. Yeah, like Christmas lasagna.

[16:19] Madelyn Murphy: We go by that we're the Murphys, but we make Christmas lasagna.

[16:22] Diego F. Salinas: Hey, we're the Murphys. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

[16:26] Madelyn Murphy: I don't blame my mom. She was Joella Frankovillia. How do you think Frankovillia is spelled?

[16:31] Will Champion: There's definitely more than one G in there.

[16:33] Diego F. Salinas: Three L's, six V's. Yep.

[16:36] Madelyn Murphy: Franco, F-R-A-N-C-O-V-I-L-L-A.

[16:39] Will Champion: I'm going to say F-R-A-N-C-O-V-I-G-L-I-A.

[16:44] Madelyn Murphy: You're so close. It's even more Ellis Island than that. F-R-A-N-K, to be American.

[16:51] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, there's the fourth rapper, Franco.

[16:54] Will Champion: V-E-L-G-I-A.

[16:56] Diego F. Salinas: Damn, that got absolutely butchered.

[16:59] Madelyn Murphy: Frankovillia.

[17:00] Will Champion: That's Frankoveglia. That's a guy that sells used cars in Staten Island.

[17:05] Diego F. Salinas: Here's what's up. That's why I have Frankoveglia, and he's also weirdly Irish. Pretty sure that family came in through Ellis Island, and they were from Frankovillia, Frank Village.

[17:13] Madelyn Murphy: Yep. And that's it. And that turned into where you're from is now your last name. Also, your last name is Frank.

[17:19] Will Champion: Is not right.

[17:20] Diego F. Salinas: Frankovelgia.

[17:22] Madelyn Murphy: So anyway, Frankovelgia. That's the Chicago coming in.

[17:28] Will Champion: So when she became Jodie Murphy, she's like, I'm not going back.

[17:32] Diego F. Salinas: Sure. Yeah, Jodie Murphy's powerful.

[17:34] Madelyn Murphy: Jodie Murphy. The amount of time she must save just on writing her name is...

[17:38] Will Champion: All those letters.

[17:39] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, she saved years off from that.

[17:41] Diego F. Salinas: Years, yeah. No carpool tunnel for Jodie. She's good.

[17:45] Will Champion: V-Gs and Ls.

[17:47] Madelyn Murphy: She's already such a character, she doesn't need a quirky name.

[17:51] Diego F. Salinas: Right. I mean, Jodie Murphy fits. That fits the bill, yeah.

[17:55] Will Champion: Her rapper name, she also goes by The Joad, so.

[17:58] Madelyn Murphy: The Joad?

[17:59] Diego F. Salinas: The Joad.

[17:59] Will Champion: The Joad.

[18:01] Diego F. Salinas: All hail The Joad.

[18:02] Madelyn Murphy: What is she? Does she have a number?

[18:04] Will Champion: Frankovelgia and The Joad.

[18:06] Diego F. Salinas: That's a radio station.

[18:09] Will Champion: All right, who's ready to get the lead out? The Joad's here at Drive Time Radio on WKFP.

[18:17] Diego F. Salinas: Diego and my mom would have a great radio show. Diego and The Joad.

[18:22] Madelyn Murphy: I would love to have that, like, Megan Kelly and Regis Philburn type of dynamic.

[18:31] Will Champion: We were just over here doing a theme song. Sorry, Andy and the Jets is infinitely riffable. But Will or Diego, back to the quintessential big holiday meal. It is my lifetime goal to perfect two things.

[18:41] Diego F. Salinas: One is the classic roastie, the roasted potato. I have attempted this twice in the past year, and we're getting closer, we're getting closer.

[18:45] Madelyn Murphy: Describe to us, though, the perfect roastie.

[18:55] Will Champion: So the perfect roastie, it's a very English thing to do for holiday meals. It's the sort of starter of the meal where you sort of divide potatoes up into little chunks. Sort of, like, not quite sixths, but not quite fourths either. A piece of potato about the size of Maddie's pat of butter.

[19:13] Madelyn Murphy: Simply a little bit larger than that, but yes.

[19:15] Will Champion: So a pat and a half?

[19:16] Madelyn Murphy: A mega pat, as you described earlier.

[19:19] Will Champion: Okay, 1.2 mega pats of potato. You then, you have to peel them, you boil them until they get fluffy, you shock them, you then,

[19:30] Diego F. Salinas: With, like, a cattle?

[19:32] Will Champion: No, no, no, in cold water, damn it! Chiminary shocking! The way that you're, all of this is like, are you describing foreplay? Fucking Will's mom takes the taser out and fucking starts blasting the taser.

[19:42] Diego F. Salinas: You gotta make them into a clock first, that's part of the recipe.

[19:45] Will Champion: She lights a butane torch and just starts roasting. I mean, that's not far off, because you have to fill a whole baking tray with oil, put it in the, under the broiler for a while so the oil starts to get crackly, you dump the fluffy potatoes on that so they fry for a minute before you chuck them in the oven, then you rotate them every 15 minutes. So the idea is, they come out, the outer skin wants to be able to break like glass, right, it wants to be really crunchy and crackly, but the inside needs to be just perfectly fluffy, and it's a ruinous balance to get wrong.

[20:15] Diego F. Salinas: Hey Will, unrelated, can I come over for Christmas?

[20:17] Will Champion: Yeah, because the second part is the mince pies, baby, the mince pies are the other thing that I am working, I've sat down with my mother twice now, I still have about half of the mixture left over from Christmas in the fridge, so maybe I'll make some summer mince pies for y'all, but it's, it's the English mince pie, you know, it doesn't have, you know, sweet meats in it anymore, but it's fruit and lots of rum and brandy and whatnot.

[20:38] Madelyn Murphy: I've never, I, okay, I also love things in little crusts, little pockets of food, so I've been wanting a mince pie.

[20:45] Diego F. Salinas: Okay, you know what? Maybe I'll do it for TST Prom.

[20:48] Will Champion: Yeah, that'd be nice.

[20:50] Madelyn Murphy: Why not?

[20:50] Diego F. Salinas: Oh yeah, we're throwing a prom.

[20:53] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah.

[20:53] Will Champion: This is very exciting, this will be my first prom.

[20:56] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, girl.

[20:58] Diego F. Salinas: Are you at all, William, think about it for one second. It's, you have to remember, we've only met this version of you.

[21:02] Will Champion: Yeah, it's a joke and we're only on the joke list. I haven't even seen a picture of Backpack Girl. It's really difficult to think about you not insanely charismatic and like, with tons of buddies and just being nuts, and having fucking poured yourself into some leather pants and been hoeing around high school.

[21:21] Madelyn Murphy: Poured is the, is correct.

[21:22] Diego F. Salinas: I was wondering what the sound of latex rubbing together was.

[21:26] Will Champion: Yeah, we already did it.

[21:28] Madelyn Murphy: Oh my goodness.

[21:29] Diego F. Salinas: You can hear me, I will not be able to sneak up on you in these pants, my guy.

[21:33] Will Champion: Sexy kinky cricket, just over there.

[21:36] Madelyn Murphy: That's so good.

[21:40] Diego F. Salinas: Now I just imagine like a perverted cricket at your window like, hey.

[21:44] Will Champion: Jiminy Cricket in a game suit, let's see it.

[21:46] Diego F. Salinas: Oh yeah, I'm your conscience, but like the bad one.

[21:48] Will Champion: I'm the other conscience, fucking Johnny Cricket. Put it in your mouth. Stop listening to that nerd. Kill the old man, fuck the goldfish, and let's go ride inside of a whale.

[22:00] Madelyn Murphy: Hey, Johnny Cricket.

[22:03] Diego F. Salinas: I like Johnny Cricket.

[22:06] Will Champion: But no, okay, first prom is going to be TSD prom for you, Maddie. That's what we're hearing.

[22:10] Madelyn Murphy: I like, also, first prom. One of many proms to come.

[22:15] Diego F. Salinas: I mean, you never know. Limbo and stuff, man.

[22:18] Madelyn Murphy: Oh yeah, and I want to get yelled at for hanging out at the roof.

[22:19] Diego F. Salinas: We gotta take pictures in Central Park.

[22:23] Madelyn Murphy: We gotta take a picture. I'm gonna get Jody to come up here and take a picture of you by the, like, awkwardly on your stairs before you.

[22:31] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, we had a magnolia tree. That's where we all had to go take our major life moment photos outside this tree.

[22:36] Madelyn Murphy: A magnolia tree?

[22:37] Diego F. Salinas: Magnolia tree.

[22:38] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, but I'll teach you. Speaking of my family, we do have a staple Francovillia pose where we all get in a line and we kind of hold each other like a prom photo where, you know, like, you put your...

[22:50] Will Champion: But then you gotta do a lake pop.

[22:51] Madelyn Murphy: Nice. The amount of Polaroids we've taken back here, you haven't implemented that one time?

[22:55] Diego F. Salinas: Tonight, baby.

[22:57] Will Champion: Ho-Tuesday knee pop, get ready.

[23:00] Madelyn Murphy: You're never gonna pose the same.

[23:01] Diego F. Salinas: Apparently not. Wait, we didn't get your food. The one you want to perfect.

[23:04] Will Champion: Oh, um...

[23:06] Diego F. Salinas: Sandwiches.

[23:07] Will Champion: For me, it's like a food and it's an event. I want to be... I want to have a house where I can host the whole family and do, like, a big carne asada. Just, like, really means, like, making the rice and the chimol and just being, like, the... inviting everyone over and cooking the food. That's, like, the thing. And then to have it all go well and go right, like...

[23:30] Madelyn Murphy: I see you two. I know exactly what you're wearing. It's your little short shorts, your denim short shorts.

[23:34] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah.

[23:34] Madelyn Murphy: Your, uh, uh, slippers. And I imagine you have your indoor slippers and then you have a different pair that you change into when you go grill.

[23:41] Diego F. Salinas: Then...

[23:41] Madelyn Murphy: The Crocs, baby.

[23:43] Diego F. Salinas: An overly horny apron.

[23:47] Will Champion: Right? Get emotionally intimate with the cook.

[23:52] Diego F. Salinas: You have, like, some sort of awesome, highly spiked tequila drink with you. And...

[24:00] Madelyn Murphy: And just for... And three spatulas. You only really use one, but the...

[24:04] Diego F. Salinas: And the other two are kind of for status.

[24:06] Will Champion: The exact... Would Diego rock a captain's hat whilst grilling, or is this my projecting?

[24:12] Diego F. Salinas: I mean, I wouldn't say no to some type of headgear. I think you're projecting a little. However, I can see him in some round sunglasses. And I think, too, I'm going to say that there's even a special necklace. Diego always wears a chain. And then I feel like there would be a second chain.

[24:29] Madelyn Murphy: With a fourth spatula hanging from the necklace.

[24:32] Diego F. Salinas: With a key. And if you find the safe, that's the golden spatula.

[24:36] Will Champion: This is the other movie, the other Hallmark movie. Yes, okay, so the Hallmark movie where you starred is How to Save Christmas. This is Diego, um, How to Save Summer.

[24:44] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, yeah. Great. Aw, great. Okay, it's French. His grill you later.

[24:46] Diego F. Salinas: Comes home with a dude you do not approve of.

[24:51] Will Champion: Uh-oh! How are we going to get through this Labor Day weekend?

[24:55] Diego F. Salinas: But, um, in terms of the carne asada, is there anything, like, is there a, does your family have a very special, specific recipe of anything that goes with it?

[25:04] Madelyn Murphy: My dad has his own, like, marinade. Like, I feel like everyone in the family has, like, their own, like, little variant on it. But I would want to make it, like, the way my dad makes it.

[25:12] Diego F. Salinas: Mm.

[25:12] Madelyn Murphy: Which means I have to apply him for his secrets so that I can figure out exactly how to marinate that meat to make it taste like childhood.

[25:20] Diego F. Salinas: See, that's so cool. Marinated just like childhood.

[25:25] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah, nice. I want that sweet nostalgia, baby. Every bite.

[25:30] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, baby. You know what it used to, as a kid, again, like, poor, easy meals, single parent, is my mom would also roast a chicken all the time. Because it's a chicken. Hell yeah, dude. Great. Pop it in the oven. It's easy. Chicken. Eat it. And as a kid, I used to come home and be like, oh, chicken. Boring. Because I was like, other kids, like, their mom orders them pizza all the time. She's like, you know, just eat fucking chicken. And now I've changed my tune where, as an adult, getting to roast a chicken, it's that I get 15 years of memories, like, coming home from school. I know exactly where my mom is. It's 3.30. I got to go to soccer. I know there's a chicken in the oven. There's all this nostalgia now with it. Also, a good roast chicken, ooh.

[26:14] Will Champion: Hell yeah.

[26:15] Diego F. Salinas: I know. I do a milk brine chicken, baby. Dad Diego, get into a, have you ever beer can grill the roasted chicken on the, this is super white people shit.

[26:27] Will Champion: I've had it, though.

[26:27] Diego F. Salinas: It's good.

[26:28] Will Champion: It's great. You basically shove a beer up a chicken's ass and then set it on a grill, and the beer, like, steams it up through, so the inside is super moist and delicious. You can also, I think you could do it with a seltzer water or anything.

[26:43] Madelyn Murphy: Oh, I'm about to blow your mind. Best chicken of all time, and it doesn't need any accoutrements. You just need 24 hours. You brine your chicken in salt and buttermilk, and the brine and the infusion of fats and salt and hydration means that at the end, you take it out. It looks like you dropped it in white paint, and it's like, you just kind of scrape it off. You put it in a Dutch oven. That's it. You actually don't futz with it, because what happens, too, is then it makes the crispiest, most caramelized outer skin, and then, you know, jazz it up with sides, but it truly, it's like, don't mess with it. It is three ingredients. Listeners, I'm really sorry if you did not eat before you started listening to the podcast this week, and you need to leave, but I'll put a trigger warning or something up front.

[27:31] Will Champion: We talk about food a lot on this podcast.

[27:33] Diego F. Salinas: Because we were saying, because we all come to the podcast hungry.

[27:36] Madelyn Murphy: Yeah.

[27:37] Diego F. Salinas: It's like every three weeks, we're, like, busy and in a hurry, and they come running in, and we're like, did anybody eat? No. Eating directly before doing a show here is a really strange balance to hit.

[27:46] Will Champion: Yeah.

[27:46] Diego F. Salinas: I've talked about this before, right? You definitely can't go in on an empty stomach, but you can't go in on a full stomach, because you'll also die.

[27:55] Madelyn Murphy: You'll vomit and then die.

[27:57] Diego F. Salinas: Because you spend so much more time than you even recognize just, like, bolting around the stage, jumping over things, sliding under things. So it's like, when exactly do you eat before a show? How much do you eat? And how much hunger do you still feel when you hit backstage?

[28:12] Will Champion: I feel like any time we do a show, any show, one of us statistically comes offstage at the end going, I'm so hungry.

[28:20] Diego F. Salinas: There's always, like, one of us didn't get the formula right. And then it's just a case of, I keep protein bars in my backpack just in case now, because it's a matter of, I can't stand.

[28:30] Madelyn Murphy: No, no. The thing that gets me is, like, getting home after the adrenaline has worn off, and I'm, like, in my apartment, like, in bed, and I'm like, goddammit, I'm hungry. Fuck, fuck, shit. And it's, like, 12.30 at night.

[28:42] Diego F. Salinas: Yeah, and it's, like, at that point, like, I don't want to get up.

[28:46] Will Champion: That's when you do a matty-satty, and you just eat a bowl of cereal as quickly as you can.

[28:50] Madelyn Murphy: That is not a satty.

[28:52] Diego F. Salinas: Midnight cereal's the best, dude.

[28:53] Will Champion: I love midnight cereal.

[28:55] Madelyn Murphy: I love cold cereal whenever.

[28:57] Diego F. Salinas: No, I love cereal, but when I'm saying it's a matty-satty, because I'm just, like, it's late, I don't want to be eating, I want to be sleeping.

[29:03] Madelyn Murphy: Holding it over the sink.

[29:04] Diego F. Salinas: Oh, yeah, like Goblet. I don't turn on the lights. Why don't I, why, I could do very minimal effort to make it nice, and instead I'm like, just trying to unhinge my

[29:16] Diego F. Salinas: Turning on the lights runs the risk of deactivating the sleepies that are building within you, and you cannot risk such a thing.

[29:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[30:15] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[30:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[31:16] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[31:29] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[31:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[31:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[32:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[32:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[32:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[32:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[32:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[32:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[33:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[33:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[33:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[33:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[33:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[33:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[34:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[34:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[34:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[34:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[34:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[34:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[35:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[35:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[35:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[35:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[35:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[35:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[36:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[36:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[36:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[36:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[36:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[36:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[37:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[37:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[37:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[37:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[37:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[37:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[38:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[38:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[38:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[38:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[38:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[38:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[39:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[39:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[39:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[39:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[39:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[39:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[40:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[40:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[40:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[40:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[40:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[40:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[41:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[41:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[41:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[41:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[41:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[41:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[42:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[42:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[42:25] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[42:35] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[42:45] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[42:55] Will Champion: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[43:05] Maddie Murphy: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[43:15] Diego F. Salinas: Also, please, cereal after the sun has gone down is officially termed night breakfast and is the fourth meal of the day.

[43:25] Will Champion: Thanks for listening to Adventures. If you're enjoying the show, please rate, review, subscribe, make sure you follow us and toss us some stars and let a friend know if you're having a good time.

[43:35] Maddie Murphy: If you want to adventure with us in person, you can get tickets and information on tour stops at the20sidedtavern.com.