This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Bruce Vilanch: Hi, I'm Bruce Vilanch.

[0:02] Mindy Cohn: I'm Mindy Cohn. And you're listening to Around the Sun, an episodic audio drama created by me, Brad Forenza. This is Season 2, Episode 7, Lonely Planet.

[0:23] Mindy Cohn: Molly and Skip sit on a rock formation in the middle of the desert. Skip stares longingly into the sky as Molly checks her watch.

[0:34] Mindy Cohn: Wow.

[0:35] Bruce Vilanch: Wow.

[0:36] Mindy Cohn: Just wow.

[0:37] Mindy Cohn: We're missing a panel of Klingons, you know.

[0:40] Bruce Vilanch: Hmm.

[0:41] Mindy Cohn: Hmm? That's all you have to say for yourself? Just hmm? You said you had something you wanted to show me?

[0:52] Bruce Vilanch: Yeah.

[0:54] Mindy Cohn: Yeah? Yeah, what? What do you want to show me? Speak up.

[0:59] Bruce Vilanch: This.

[1:00] Mindy Cohn: This?

[1:01] Bruce Vilanch: The sky. The stars. The universe. And the space between us, after all these years, finally shrinking.

[1:11] Mindy Cohn: I don't get it.

[1:12] Bruce Vilanch: I bet you didn't have skies like this back in Altoona.

[1:17] Mindy Cohn: Actually, it's the same sky. It's always the same.

[1:22] Bruce Vilanch: Impossible. Not like this.

[1:24] Mindy Cohn: Possible. Orion's Belt. The Big Dipper. It looks exactly the same. Don't tell me what I have and don't have back in Altoona. You don't know what I have.

[1:34] Bruce Vilanch: Well, keep looking. You'll see it soon enough.

[1:38] Mindy Cohn: See what?

[1:39] Bruce Vilanch: You'll see.

[1:41] Mindy Cohn: I thought you brought me out here to show me your original series collector plates.

[1:46] Bruce Vilanch: My original series collector plates?

[1:48] Mindy Cohn: Yeah, your original series collector plates. That's what I said. I thought that's why we left the convention.

[1:54] Bruce Vilanch: We left because I wanted to share something special with you.

[1:58] Mindy Cohn: And what's more special than your original series collector plates?

[2:02] Bruce Vilanch: Patience is a virtue.

[2:04] Mindy Cohn: You're telling me? Year after year, you've said that when they finally gave a convention in the desert, you'd finally let me see your plates.

[2:11] Bruce Vilanch: Molly, I can't bring my original series collector plates out here.

[2:16] Mindy Cohn: Broken promises. I've heard it all before. You're just like everyone else, Skip.

[2:21] Bruce Vilanch: My original series collector plates belong to the physical world, not the desert world.

[2:27] Mindy Cohn: The desert world is a world between worlds. It's a liminal space.

[2:33] Bruce Vilanch: A portal.

[2:34] Mindy Cohn: A portal. Just like that.

[2:37] Bruce Vilanch: But what are we connecting to?

[2:39] Mindy Cohn: You'll see.

[2:42] Bruce Vilanch: You'll see, he says. You know, I'm starting to doubt you, Skip.

[2:46] Mindy Cohn: You've only been talking up those collector plates for as long as I've known you.

[2:50] Bruce Vilanch: Don't forget, I let you wear my Starfleet uniform years ago when the convention was in Pittsburgh.

[2:56] Mindy Cohn: Yeah, we have so many beautiful memories together.

[3:00] Bruce Vilanch: Wouldn't you want to pay my generosity forward?

[3:03] Mindy Cohn: Of course.

[3:05] Bruce Vilanch: So?

[3:06] Mindy Cohn: So.

[3:07] Bruce Vilanch: So let me see your plates.

[3:09] Mindy Cohn: But I wanted to share something even more fragile and precious.

[3:13] Bruce Vilanch: Is it also from the Danbury Mint?

[3:16] Mindy Cohn: No.

[3:18] Bruce Vilanch: Then I'm not interested.

[3:20] Mindy Cohn: Molly, I've never brought anyone out to these rocks before.

[3:25] Bruce Vilanch: This desert is sacred ground for me.

[3:28] Mindy Cohn: The things I bear witness to out here.

[3:30] Bruce Vilanch: The tests. The meltdowns. The spaceships.

[3:33] Mindy Cohn: All the noise of life paired against all the majesty of the cosmos.

[3:38] Bruce Vilanch: And I've never wanted to share this experience with anyone else, Molly.

[3:41] Mindy Cohn: Until now.

[3:43] Bruce Vilanch: Until you.

[3:46] Mindy Cohn: Did you say spaceships?

[3:49] Bruce Vilanch: You'll see them.

[3:51] Mindy Cohn: I'm sure.

[3:53] Bruce Vilanch: Just like I'll see your plates.

[3:55] Mindy Cohn: It's too bad there's only one convention a year.

[3:59] Bruce Vilanch: Yeah, that Klingon panel was comprised of three different houses.

[4:04] Mindy Cohn: I wish I could see more of you.

[4:08] Bruce Vilanch: Everyone tells me I should stop attending these conventions.

[4:11] Mindy Cohn: I'd miss you too much.

[4:12] Bruce Vilanch: My cats. My aunties.

[4:14] Mindy Cohn: I'd miss you a lot.

[4:16] Bruce Vilanch: You're wasting your time at those conventions, they say.

[4:18] Mindy Cohn: You'll never meet anyone sufficient, they tell me.

[4:21] Bruce Vilanch: You're going to wind up a spinster.

[4:23] Mindy Cohn: Well, here I am.

[4:25] Bruce Vilanch: And here I am.

[4:27] Mindy Cohn: Our souls are finally together in this liminal space.

[4:32] Bruce Vilanch: I'm just a Captain Kirk waiting for her Spock.

[4:35] Mindy Cohn: Then live long and prosper.

[4:37] Bruce Vilanch: And what's the point?

[4:39] Mindy Cohn: What do you mean, what's the point?

[4:41] Bruce Vilanch: It's the Vulcan blessing.

[4:43] Mindy Cohn: Well, duh.

[4:45] Bruce Vilanch: But if I'm doomed to be a spinster, why would I want to live long and prosper?

[4:49] Mindy Cohn: Look at the sky, Molly.

[4:51] Bruce Vilanch: It does put me out of my misery already.

[4:53] Mindy Cohn: Just keep looking.

[4:55] Bruce Vilanch: Grandma was right.

[4:57] Mindy Cohn: I'll never find anyone sufficient.

[4:59] Bruce Vilanch: I'm too accessible.

[5:01] Mindy Cohn: Maybe Galileo or Roddenberry looked up at that sky and thought,

[5:05] Bruce Vilanch: I'm part of something bigger.

[5:07] Mindy Cohn: We're all part of something bigger.

[5:09] Bruce Vilanch: And the day they realize that, Molly,

[5:11] Mindy Cohn: is the day they gave us something deeper to connect to.

[5:14] Bruce Vilanch: And the day you realize that, Molly,

[5:16] Mindy Cohn: the day you realize that we're all bound by the universe

[5:20] Bruce Vilanch: is the day you'll stop feeling so all alone.

[5:24] Mindy Cohn: What are you even saying?

[5:27] Bruce Vilanch: I'm saying,

[5:30] Mindy Cohn: whenever you're ready, I'm ready, too.

[5:33] Bruce Vilanch: You?

[5:35] Mindy Cohn: You won't even show me your plates.

[5:37] Bruce Vilanch: Face it, Skip.

[5:39] Mindy Cohn: I'm a lost soul.

[5:41] Bruce Vilanch: Just put a pillow over my head.

[5:43] Mindy Cohn: The universe has no beginning or ending.

[5:45] Bruce Vilanch: You're no more lost than me.

[5:47] Mindy Cohn: You might feel alone, Molly,

[5:49] Bruce Vilanch: but I see you.

[5:51] Mindy Cohn: I promise.

[5:53] Bruce Vilanch: You can't see me.

[5:55] Mindy Cohn: I'm invisible.

[5:57] Bruce Vilanch: I love you.

[5:59] Mindy Cohn: Omega Youth. Do you remember them?

[6:01] Bruce Vilanch: From the original series?

[6:03] Mindy Cohn: When the fleet thinks immunity among Omega 4's inhabitants functions as a de facto fountain of youth?

[6:08] Bruce Vilanch: But really, the planet's immunizing agents are separate from the protracted lifespans attributed to evolution on Omega 4?

[6:14] Mindy Cohn: Of course I remember them. Who doesn't?

[6:16] Bruce Vilanch: I'm so glad we can bond like this, Molly.

[6:18] Mindy Cohn: Me, too.

[6:20] Bruce Vilanch: I can share anything with you.

[6:22] Mindy Cohn: So,

[6:24] Bruce Vilanch: if not your original series collector plates,

[6:27] Mindy Cohn: why did you bring me out here?

[6:29] Bruce Vilanch: It'll be here soon, Molly, but first, there's something I want to say.

[6:33] Mindy Cohn: Gosh,

[6:35] Bruce Vilanch: this is tougher than I thought.

[6:37] Mindy Cohn: You've said enough.

[6:39] Bruce Vilanch: Let's go back to the convention.

[6:41] Mindy Cohn: Do you?

[6:43] Bruce Vilanch: I mean, would you?

[6:45] Mindy Cohn: Do you really think we're alone out here?

[6:49] Bruce Vilanch: I see a motorhome in the distance, but other than that, it's just us.

[6:53] Mindy Cohn: Get off my lawn!

[6:56] Bruce Vilanch: I don't approve of your conduct!

[7:00] Mindy Cohn: And are you okay with that?

[7:02] Bruce Vilanch: With what?

[7:04] Mindy Cohn: Just us.

[7:06] Bruce Vilanch: Could you be happy with just us for all eternity?

[7:10] Mindy Cohn: Well, I'm not sure what my aunties would say, but if it saves me from dying alone, I guess you're sufficient enough.

[7:16] Bruce Vilanch: Good.

[7:18] Mindy Cohn: Then they should be here any minute.

[7:20] Bruce Vilanch: My aunties?

[7:22] Mindy Cohn: The space creatures.

[7:24] Bruce Vilanch: The space creatures?

[7:26] Mindy Cohn: What are you even talking about, Skip?

[7:28] Bruce Vilanch: Molly, will you...

[7:30] Mindy Cohn: Will you explore strange new worlds with me and seek out new life and civilizations with me?

[7:36] Bruce Vilanch: Will you boldly go where no human has gone before with me and only me?

[7:42] Mindy Cohn: And how are we gonna do that, Skip?

[7:44] Bruce Vilanch: Is a spaceship gonna land out here now? Is that what we're waiting for?

[7:48] Mindy Cohn: I love you very much, Molly.

[7:50] Bruce Vilanch: I have for a long time.

[7:52] Mindy Cohn: Ew, Skip.

[7:54] Bruce Vilanch: Molly, will you be my captain?

[7:56] ♪ Musical number: "A tornado of sand whirls around Molly and Skip" — performed by Bruce Vilanch ♪

[8:00] Mindy Cohn: What's happening?

[8:06] Bruce Vilanch: Don't panic, Molly.

[8:08] Mindy Cohn: They're here for us.

[8:10] Bruce Vilanch: For what?

[8:12] Mindy Cohn: This is it. It's our enterprise, Molly.

[8:14] Bruce Vilanch: It's time to go.

[8:16] Mindy Cohn: Speak up.

[8:18] Bruce Vilanch: It's been landing out here for weeks.

[8:21] Mindy Cohn: But Skip, this is highly illogical and makes no sense.

[8:27] Bruce Vilanch: Logic is only the beginning of wisdom, Molly.

[8:29] Mindy Cohn: You're the only one I want to share the universe with.

[8:33] Bruce Vilanch: But Skip, what about the convention?

[8:35] Mindy Cohn: It's time, Molly.

[8:37] Bruce Vilanch: We have to go.

[8:39] Mindy Cohn: Skip, I have to think about it.

[8:43] Bruce Vilanch: Skip runs towards the ship.

[8:45] Mindy Cohn: When he reaches it, he turns for a final goodbye.

[8:49] Bruce Vilanch: I love you, Molly.

[8:51] Mindy Cohn: Always know that I love you.

[8:53] Bruce Vilanch: But Skip...

[8:55] Mindy Cohn: I...

[8:57] Bruce Vilanch: I...

[8:59] Mindy Cohn: I...

[9:05] Bruce Vilanch: Can I have your original series collector plates?

[9:11] Brad Forenza: Around the Sun is written and directed by Brad Forenza.

[9:13] Brad Forenza: For full credits and to hear more episodes, please visit AroundTheSunPodcast.com.

[9:17] Brad Forenza: If you enjoyed this episode, remember to like, share, and subscribe.

[9:21] Brad Forenza: And give us lots of stars!

[9:25] Brad Forenza: This episode also featured a special appearance by Richard Kind as Mr. Young.