This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:01] Piper Laurie: I'm Piper Laurie.

[0:04] Brad Forenza: I'm Brad Forenza.

[0:07] Piper Laurie: And you're listening to Around the Sun.

[0:12] Brad Forenza: Season 2 Epilogue. Intelligent Life.

[0:23] Piper Laurie: What's happening?

[0:24] Brad Forenza: He speaks for the desert.

[0:26] Piper Laurie: I didn't think you'd feel just like us.

[0:28] Brad Forenza: Stay where you are and don't move.

[0:31] Piper Laurie: I have nowhere to go.

[0:36] Brad Forenza: Two aliens, Maude and Otto, occupy what seems to be a spaceship's main cabin.

[0:42] Piper Laurie: Maude shuffles paperwork while Otto peers through a window back down at planet Earth.

[0:49] Brad Forenza: Well, that was just lovely.

[0:52] Piper Laurie: Planet Earth was so fresh, so new and exciting.

[0:57] Brad Forenza: You were right, Maude. There's always more we don't know about the universe compared to what we do know.

[1:03] Piper Laurie: Well, some things are better off not knowing.

[1:06] Brad Forenza: Besides, you've been on one intergalactic expedition, you've been on them all.

[1:10] Piper Laurie: I don't think anything could top planet Earth.

[1:13] Brad Forenza: I found the whole place quite titillating. All those bells and whistles.

[1:18] Piper Laurie: If that's what passes for intelligent life down there, they can keep it.

[1:23] Brad Forenza: But we don't have slot machines on planet Zarb, or roulette wheels, or craps tables.

[1:31] Piper Laurie: Planet Earth was so dimensional.

[1:35] Brad Forenza: Who needs dimension? Planet Zarb is perfect. It's pristine and spotless.

[1:41] Piper Laurie: Yeah, but it's kind of flat.

[1:43] Brad Forenza: Well, take a last look out your window at that rocky mess.

[1:47] Piper Laurie: Looks like the who did it ran back there.

[1:50] Brad Forenza: Ouch.

[1:51] Piper Laurie: Perfect planet Zarb is certain. It's predictable.

[1:55] Brad Forenza: The desert was filled with quicksand.

[1:58] Piper Laurie: If I didn't keep my eyes open, I would have got sucked right in.

[2:02] Brad Forenza: And then where would you be?

[2:04] Piper Laurie: I don't know. The flashing neon of the strip? Hmm?

[2:08] Brad Forenza: The pageantry of the showgirls?

[2:10] Piper Laurie: Every minute a jackpot.

[2:12] Brad Forenza: Every moment a possibility.

[2:16] Piper Laurie: Out of the desert grows magic.

[2:19] Brad Forenza: You must mean mirage or illusion.

[2:22] Piper Laurie: Oh, speaking of, did you guys ever get to see David Copperfield?

[2:27] Brad Forenza: Nothing is as it seems down there.

[2:30] Piper Laurie: He's a real nice guy, you know. I could have gotten you house seats.

[2:33] Brad Forenza: All those bells and whistles, they're there to distract you from the smell of yesterday's cigarettes.

[2:39] Piper Laurie: Just a bunch of smooth talkers in that desert.

[2:42] Brad Forenza: I should have known it was all too good to be true.

[2:45] Piper Laurie: I miss it already.

[2:47] Brad Forenza: What's to miss? The traffic?

[2:49] Piper Laurie: The life. I'm already counting the days until our next trip.

[2:54] Brad Forenza: Well, keep counting. I wouldn't go back to the miserable planet Earth if my life depended on it.

[3:00] Piper Laurie: I thought you said we were going back this summer.

[3:03] Brad Forenza: That was before. This is now.

[3:07] Piper Laurie: In fact, after we turn in our report, I'm going to ask the boss to deprogram my brain so I never have to think about my year down there.

[3:15] Brad Forenza: But if you do that, Maude, I'll have no one to relive the experience with.

[3:20] Piper Laurie: It'll be like it never happened.

[3:22] Brad Forenza: That's the point.

[3:24] Piper Laurie: Well, you certainly looked like you were having fun down there.

[3:27] Brad Forenza: Well, looks can be deceiving, trust me.

[3:30] Piper Laurie: Now, get your field notes out so we can write this report, even though I already know my conclusion.

[3:36] Brad Forenza: To be human is to suffer.

[3:39] Piper Laurie: To be raw and miserable all the time.

[3:42] Brad Forenza: Intelligent life, my foot.

[3:45] Piper Laurie: You know, I lost down there, too.

[3:48] Brad Forenza: It's different. You played games of chance.

[3:51] Piper Laurie: So did you.

[3:53] Brad Forenza: I knew to the desert, he said.

[3:56] Piper Laurie: Come have dinner with me, he said.

[3:58] Brad Forenza: Come lay by my side forever and ever and ever.

[4:01] Piper Laurie: On top of my motorhome and under the stars that coyote once hung.

[4:06] Brad Forenza: Well, forever it came and went.

[4:09] Piper Laurie: Shady earthling.

[4:11] Brad Forenza: So?

[4:13] Piper Laurie: So what?

[4:15] Brad Forenza: So maybe you need the sting of the snake eyes to appreciate the high of a good run, huh?

[4:22] Piper Laurie: Just give me your field notes so we can write this stinky report and call it a day.

[4:27] Brad Forenza: We only won, Maude.

[4:29] Piper Laurie: We lost, but we also won.

[4:32] Brad Forenza: Don't be ridiculous.

[4:34] Piper Laurie: The house always wins.

[4:36] Brad Forenza: I danced at a music festival.

[4:39] Piper Laurie: I learned hydroponic gardening.

[4:42] Brad Forenza: I went streaking for nuclear disarmament.

[4:46] Piper Laurie: Right, and then you landed in the Huskar and we had to bail you out.

[4:50] Brad Forenza: True, true, true.

[4:52] Piper Laurie: But when you consider the journey, it's a net win.

[4:54] Brad Forenza: I believe that.

[4:56] Piper Laurie: Forget net wins.

[4:58] Brad Forenza: Back home, we have gross wins.

[5:01] Piper Laurie: Unequivocal wins.

[5:03] Brad Forenza: Perfect planet, perfect people, perfect life.

[5:07] Piper Laurie: Case closed.

[5:11] Brad Forenza: You know what, Maude?

[5:13] Piper Laurie: What?

[5:15] Brad Forenza: When we get back to planet Zarb, I'm going to open a casino.

[5:20] Piper Laurie: You can't do that, Otto.

[5:22] Brad Forenza: Why not?

[5:23] Piper Laurie: We don't have casinos on Zarb.

[5:25] Brad Forenza: So I'll corner the market.

[5:27] Piper Laurie: Not going to happen.

[5:29] Brad Forenza: Come on.

[5:30] Piper Laurie: It'll spice things up.

[5:31] Brad Forenza: It'll give us a little joie de vivre out there.

[5:34] Piper Laurie: Games of chance bring loss, and loss brings pain.

[5:39] Brad Forenza: Pain is best preserved for miserable planet Earth, not perfect planet Zarb.

[5:45] Piper Laurie: There's a reason the boss doesn't allow for those games, and it's for our own good.

[5:50] Brad Forenza: I know that now.

[5:52] Piper Laurie: And when you know better, you'll do better.

[5:55] Brad Forenza: You protect your heart.

[5:57] Piper Laurie: Leave it all behind.

[6:00] Brad Forenza: Hey, Maude?

[6:02] Piper Laurie: Now what?

[6:04] Brad Forenza: What if I brought some dice back home?

[6:07] Piper Laurie: You can't.

[6:08] Brad Forenza: Just a pair is all.

[6:10] Piper Laurie: A souvenir.

[6:11] Brad Forenza: See?

[6:14] Piper Laurie: Otto!

[6:15] Brad Forenza: But now we can shoot craps and remember our good times on Earth.

[6:20] Piper Laurie: I don't want to remember my time on Earth.

[6:22] Brad Forenza: Not a single day.

[6:24] Piper Laurie: And we don't need that junk on our perfect planet.

[6:27] Brad Forenza: Didn't you watch the news while you were down there?

[6:30] Piper Laurie: Those terrestrials have too much stuff on their lives.

[6:33] Brad Forenza: Too much junk they don't know how to purge.

[6:36] Piper Laurie: Their landfills are full.

[6:38] Brad Forenza: They're talking about dumping in space as it is, and perfect planet Zarb has a no-dumping policy.

[6:44] Piper Laurie: It's just a little tchotchke to tide me over until our next visit.

[6:48] Brad Forenza: A keepsake is all.

[6:50] Piper Laurie: There's not going to be another visit.

[6:52] Brad Forenza: And I'm not taking this stuff back to my planet.

[6:55] Piper Laurie: Now where are your field notes?

[6:58] Brad Forenza: Suit yourself.

[7:00] Piper Laurie: Here you go.

[7:03] Brad Forenza: January.

[7:05] Piper Laurie: Otto and Maude arrive on planet Earth.

[7:10] Brad Forenza: February.

[7:11] Piper Laurie: Otto and Maude settle into desert timeshare for a nice realtor.

[7:18] Brad Forenza: March.

[7:19] Piper Laurie: Otto goes to Vegas.

[7:21] Brad Forenza: Wind's big.

[7:24] Piper Laurie: April. Maude meets nice human friend.

[7:27] Brad Forenza: Says he's from the big city.

[7:29] Piper Laurie: Also new to desert, but hates it.

[7:33] Brad Forenza: Otto.

[7:34] Piper Laurie: What is this?

[7:35] Brad Forenza: My field notes.

[7:37] Piper Laurie: But Otto, these are just observations of us.

[7:40] Brad Forenza: I thought that was the mission.

[7:42] Piper Laurie: To understand the human experience.

[7:45] Brad Forenza: It was, but Otto, you were supposed to observe the humans, not us.

[7:49] Piper Laurie: We already know about us.

[7:51] Brad Forenza: But if I observed anyone else, they would have been alien to me.

[7:56] Piper Laurie: Otto.

[7:57] Brad Forenza: Keep reading.

[8:01] Piper Laurie: May.

[8:03] Brad Forenza: Maude's big city friend calls her sophisticated.

[8:09] Piper Laurie: He invites her to fancy buffet.

[8:13] Brad Forenza: Makes her feel special.

[8:17] Piper Laurie: June.

[8:18] Brad Forenza: Otto goes to Vegas.

[8:20] Piper Laurie: Wind's even bigger.

[8:24] Brad Forenza: July.

[8:25] Piper Laurie: Maude has sleepover with big city boyfriend.

[8:30] Brad Forenza: August.

[8:32] Piper Laurie: Maude moves into big city boyfriend's motorhome.

[8:36] Brad Forenza: Otto misses Maude, but joins her every Sunday for fire pit.

[8:41] Piper Laurie: Yeah, you better leave the rest.

[8:43] Brad Forenza: I know what's coming.

[8:46] Piper Laurie: September.

[8:48] Brad Forenza: Maude tells Otto she will not return from expedition to planet Earth.

[8:54] Piper Laurie: She will spend her days in the desert with big city boyfriend.

[8:58] Brad Forenza: Counting the stars and howling at the moon.

[9:02] Piper Laurie: October.

[9:03] Brad Forenza: Otto goes to Vegas, loses everything and more, should have quit while he was ahead.

[9:09] Piper Laurie: November.

[9:10] Brad Forenza: Spaceships landing all over desert.

[9:13] Piper Laurie: Maude's big city boyfriend feels cornered and threatened.

[9:17] Brad Forenza: Maude says it's time to move on.

[9:21] Piper Laurie: December.

[9:22] Brad Forenza: Maude and Otto return home.

[9:25] Piper Laurie: The end of an era.

[9:30] Brad Forenza: Cruel, cruel planet.

[9:33] Piper Laurie: It was quite layered, that's for sure.

[9:36] Brad Forenza: But if you look back now, Maude, the peaks and valleys of planet Earth have all evened out.

[9:44] Piper Laurie: See?

[9:45] Brad Forenza: No.

[9:46] Piper Laurie: It doesn't look so rocky from up here.

[9:50] Brad Forenza: It's just a blue and green composite now.

[9:53] Piper Laurie: Still feels uneven.

[9:56] Brad Forenza: Just give it some time.

[9:58] Piper Laurie: It'll come into focus eventually.

[10:01] Brad Forenza: I don't want his junk in my orb, Otto.

[10:04] Piper Laurie: I understand, Maude.

[10:06] Brad Forenza: But you gotta be in it to win it.

[10:08] Piper Laurie: I don't want his stuff following me back home.

[10:11] Brad Forenza: It's still a net gain, though.

[10:14] Piper Laurie: What is?

[10:15] Brad Forenza: Heartache?

[10:16] Piper Laurie: A couple quarters from the slot machine?

[10:19] Brad Forenza: The beauty in sadness.

[10:21] Piper Laurie: The pleasure in pain.

[10:23] Brad Forenza: The space in between pulling the lever and learning the outcome.

[10:27] Piper Laurie: Think of the journey, Maude.

[10:29] Brad Forenza: We were supposed to return with a deeper understanding of things.

[10:33] Piper Laurie: But I feel like I'm more screwed up now than when we went down there.

[10:38] Brad Forenza: There's always more we don't know about the universe when compared to what we do know, right?

[10:43] Piper Laurie: And wasn't that the point of the expedition?

[10:45] Brad Forenza: To learn?

[10:47] Piper Laurie: I don't know what the point is anymore.

[10:50] Brad Forenza: Yet here we are, returning to our perfect planet.

[10:55] Piper Laurie: A little different than before.

[10:58] Brad Forenza: A little more changed, I guess.

[11:01] Piper Laurie: A little more giddy.

[11:03] Brad Forenza: A little more jaded.

[11:05] Piper Laurie: A little more human.

[11:08] Brad Forenza: I guess I'm gonna miss it after all.

[11:12] Piper Laurie: Me too.

[11:14] Brad Forenza: Until the next expedition, of course.

[11:17] Piper Laurie: Don't hold your breath.

[11:19] Brad Forenza: Too much traffic down there.

[11:21] Piper Laurie: Too much work.

[11:23] Brad Forenza: Too much junk.

[11:25] Piper Laurie: But a really fun time.

[11:32] Brad Forenza: Hey, Otto.

[11:34] Piper Laurie: Yeah, Maude?

[11:36] Brad Forenza: Let me see those eyes.

[11:49] Piper Laurie: And that's a wrap!

[11:51] Brad Forenza: Thank you, cast, creative team, and listeners, for joining us in the desert for Around the Sun Season 2.

[11:56] Piper Laurie: Around the Sun is a best-version-of-yourself production, written and directed by Brad Forenza.

[12:01] Brad Forenza: You can always stream full episodes and read full credits at aroundthesunpodcast.com.

[12:06] Piper Laurie: Thanks again for supporting this podcast and the independent artists who make it possible.

[12:13] Brad Forenza: Hey, Brian?

[12:15] Piper Laurie: How do I get down from out here?