This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:01] Cady McClain: Hi, I'm Cady McClain.

[0:05] Robert Funaro: I'm Robert Funaro.

[0:08] Cady McClain: And you are listening to Around the Sun.

[0:08] Robert Funaro: This is Season 3, Episode 4, Xmas Past.

[0:23] Robert Funaro: In hazy summer, you'll remember to forget.

[0:29] Robert Funaro: Nose plugged. Eyes closed. Jump.

[0:35] Cady McClain: Grace sits at the bar of the warming hut where Max is bartending.

[0:40] Robert Funaro: Behind the bar is a sizable one-way mirror.

[0:46] Cady McClain: Another martini, ma'am.

[0:48] Robert Funaro: Yes, please. Very dry this time.

[0:50] Cady McClain: And a cinnamon stick, if you still have them.

[0:53] Robert Funaro: We don't.

[0:55] Cady McClain: None in the kitchen?

[0:56] Robert Funaro: That's where Pop used to store them.

[0:59] Cady McClain: Pop has been dead like 12, 13 years now.

[1:03] Robert Funaro: Oh. I'm sorry to hear.

[1:08] Cady McClain: One martini coming right up.

[1:12] Robert Funaro: You haven't been around in a while, have you?

[1:15] Cady McClain: I live abroad these days.

[1:18] Robert Funaro: Well, that must be interesting.

[1:20] Cady McClain: Interesting is such a non-committal adjective.

[1:23] Robert Funaro: I'm not sure I follow.

[1:26] Cady McClain: I haven't been back in ages, but it's all just as I remember.

[1:30] Robert Funaro: What is?

[1:32] Cady McClain: The drive up the mountain.

[1:34] Robert Funaro: The road into town.

[1:36] Cady McClain: And the valley below, winking at me with its sparkling lights.

[1:43] Robert Funaro: All the ghosts of Christmas past are welcoming me home.

[1:47] Cady McClain: Forgot how it felt.

[1:49] Robert Funaro: But I remember now.

[1:51] Cady McClain: And how's that?

[1:53] Robert Funaro: The same as it ever was.

[1:56] Cady McClain: Like I'm a little girl on Christmas.

[1:59] Robert Funaro: Dropping in to see Santa.

[2:01] Cady McClain: He's been gone a long time, too.

[2:04] Robert Funaro: I know.

[2:07] Cady McClain: But tonight, I believe again.

[2:11] Robert Funaro: Give me a blessed Virgin Mary in the middle of a pear tree.

[2:17] Cady McClain: Go home, pal. It's Christmas Eve.

[2:21] Robert Funaro: And here's a dry martini for the lady.

[2:24] Cady McClain: I'm surprised you don't remember me.

[2:27] Robert Funaro: Actually, I've been trying to place you for the last hour.

[2:31] Cady McClain: I'm not great with names anymore.

[2:34] Robert Funaro: You have to stop drinking back there.

[2:36] Cady McClain: Where?

[2:37] Robert Funaro: You know where.

[2:39] Cady McClain: Did we graduate together or something?

[2:44] Robert Funaro: We used to study together.

[2:46] Cady McClain: Studied?

[2:47] Robert Funaro: In Pop's office.

[2:49] Cady McClain: Behind the one-way mirror.

[2:51] Robert Funaro: Only staff knows about that.

[2:53] Cady McClain: The only room darker than this bar.

[2:55] Robert Funaro: You don't remember?

[2:57] Cady McClain: Babysitting a patron's daughter feels very familiar.

[3:01] Robert Funaro: Babysit?

[3:03] Cady McClain: But I never studied back there.

[3:05] Robert Funaro: You think I'd still be on this mountain if I studied?

[3:07] Cady McClain: We'd start with algebraic formulas in Constantinople and all that.

[3:11] Robert Funaro: But inevitably, we'd graduate into cultural anthropology.

[3:17] Cady McClain: It's hard not to with a one-way mirror overlooking a bar.

[3:22] Robert Funaro: Anyway, you retained the important stuff.

[3:27] Cady McClain: Five parts gin and one part vermouth.

[3:30] Robert Funaro: I like it.

[3:32] Cady McClain: Good.

[3:34] Robert Funaro: Don't ask me any other formulas, though.

[3:36] Cady McClain: Unless you want to wring my brain out first.

[3:38] Robert Funaro: You still haven't placed me?

[3:41] Cady McClain: Let's chalk it up to all those years in the dark.

[3:45] Robert Funaro: Daddy could never let me forget you.

[3:47] Cady McClain: In my first year off the mountain, he'd call, collect from that pay phone and say,

[3:51] Robert Funaro: Guess who's stepping in for Pop tonight?

[3:54] Cady McClain: Quarterback Max.

[3:56] Robert Funaro: He just adored you.

[3:58] Cady McClain: Quarterback Max?

[4:00] Robert Funaro: No one's called me that in years.

[4:03] Cady McClain: Who was your dad?

[4:05] Robert Funaro: I'll give you a hint.

[4:07] Cady McClain: He had white hair and red rosy cheeks the whole year through.

[4:14] Robert Funaro: And he brought joy and laughter to everyone in town, especially at Christmas.

[4:19] Cady McClain: Your dad was Santa?

[4:21] Robert Funaro: You guessed it.

[4:23] Cady McClain: Right here at this bar.

[4:25] Robert Funaro: Do you remember me now?

[4:27] Cady McClain: It's coming into focus.

[4:29] Robert Funaro: Every season, Pop would ask Daddy to dress up for the local kids.

[4:35] Cady McClain: And every season, I'd drag Mommy up here so she could be proud of him for once.

[4:43] Robert Funaro: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

[4:47] Cady McClain: Your father tells me you've been a very good girl this year.

[4:50] Robert Funaro: Yes, Santa. I've been a very good girl.

[4:53] Cady McClain: So what do you want for Christmas, little girl?

[4:55] Robert Funaro: What do you want more than anything in the whole wide world?

[4:58] Cady McClain: What I want, Santa, is for Mommy and Daddy to get along.

[5:03] Robert Funaro: How about some nice snow globes instead?

[5:06] Cady McClain: Then I'd take Mommy home, and we wouldn't hear Santa's voice again until the next morning.

[5:12] Robert Funaro: Long night.

[5:14] Cady McClain: Always. You know how late Pop liked to close.

[5:18] Robert Funaro: So if your dad was Santa, you must be crazy.

[5:24] Cady McClain: Maybe.

[5:26] Robert Funaro: When you were little, did you play bar in the back of the kitchen?

[5:30] Cady McClain: Maybe.

[5:31] Robert Funaro: And when you were older, did you convince me to drink Shirley Temples instead of beer?

[5:35] Cady McClain: With cinnamon sticks instead of cherries?

[5:38] Robert Funaro: Maybe.

[5:40] Cady McClain: And when you got your license, would you drop your dad off in the parking lot and pick him up again after closing?

[5:45] Robert Funaro: Yes. Daddy's car was always in the shop for something.

[5:51] Cady McClain: And you'd believe them?

[5:53] Robert Funaro: Why wouldn't I?

[5:55] Cady McClain: Never mind.

[5:56] Robert Funaro: Either way, I missed seeing you when you stopped coming in.

[5:59] Cady McClain: When I was back to being the only kid behind a one-way mirror.

[6:05] Robert Funaro: What's wrong with you, keeping my grandson in a bar like that?

[6:09] Cady McClain: I have to, Mama. Where else is he going to go after school? I have to make money.

[6:14] Robert Funaro: Tell that wife of yours to pick him up and drive him over to my house. I'll help him with his homework.

[6:20] Cady McClain: You know she can't leave home, Mama. She can't go to school.

[6:23] Robert Funaro: I'll help him with his homework.

[6:25] Cady McClain: You know she can't leave home, Mama. She gets very nervous.

[6:28] Robert Funaro: She can't or she won't. The bar is no place to raise children.

[6:35] Cady McClain: Home economics. That's a subject I'd like to forget.

[6:39] Robert Funaro: The opportunities were always so limited on this mountain.

[6:43] Cady McClain: That's why I left. To send some real money back for Mommy and Daddy.

[6:48] Robert Funaro: It's a shame what happened to your dad.

[6:51] Cady McClain: He was very sick.

[6:53] Robert Funaro: Hey, Varky! How about some George Bailey's with Mr. Potter's cream?

[7:00] Cady McClain: You're done, pal.

[7:03] Robert Funaro: Can I have another, Max?

[7:06] Cady McClain: How are you getting home?

[7:08] Robert Funaro: I'll walk. Like Daddy used to. After I moved abroad.

[7:14] Cady McClain: Sure. Another dry martini coming up.

[7:18] Robert Funaro: When you've lived in as many time zones as I have, the only time that matters is happy hour.

[7:23] Cady McClain: Yeah. This one is on the house.

[7:28] Robert Funaro: Thank you.

[7:30] Cady McClain: So, what's new and exciting in the life of quarterback, Max?

[7:36] Robert Funaro: Ah, you know the mountain. Same stuff, different day mostly.

[7:41] Cady McClain: Chasing thrills was fun for a while, but when you see what I've seen from behind a mirror,

[7:47] Robert Funaro: you're content just to wake up above the fray.

[7:50] Cady McClain: Do you have a family, Max?

[7:54] Robert Funaro: I did. They live off the mountain.

[7:59] Cady McClain: I bet you still have cheerleaders waiting out back for you.

[8:03] Robert Funaro: No, I don't.

[8:05] Cady McClain: And are the guys going to pick you up to go cruising later?

[8:08] Robert Funaro: Everyone left, Grace. Like you. Like I should have done.

[8:13] Cady McClain: I told you not to drink in his office.

[8:16] Robert Funaro: Maybe if I was a patron instead of a kid behind the mirror,

[8:20] Cady McClain: I could have seen my reflection sooner.

[8:23] Robert Funaro: You're fine, Max.

[8:25] Cady McClain: You have a family. A community.

[8:29] Robert Funaro: What do I have?

[8:31] Cady McClain: Nothing.

[8:33] Robert Funaro: I stepped into the light after Pop died.

[8:36] Cady McClain: When I had to take care of my mom, all of a sudden it was just me and her.

[8:41] Robert Funaro: Everyone else was gone.

[8:43] Cady McClain: The work is hard, Gracie.

[8:46] Robert Funaro: It takes time.

[8:48] Cady McClain: But it's worth it.

[8:51] Robert Funaro: You get good grades.

[8:53] Cady McClain: So you can get a good job.

[8:55] Robert Funaro: So you can get ahead in life and take care of them.

[8:58] Cady McClain: And 20 years out, you're responsible for Asia Pacific.

[9:02] Robert Funaro: Wondering why you left home in the first place.

[9:05] Cady McClain: Because all you have to rely on is basic Mandarin.

[9:08] Robert Funaro: Which doesn't help a whole lot in Tokyo.

[9:10] Cady McClain: Tokyo sounds interesting.

[9:13] Robert Funaro: Anyway, you realize soon enough that life off the mountain is just a giant pie-eating contest.

[9:19] Cady McClain: It gets you nowhere.

[9:21] Robert Funaro: But you have to keep pace.

[9:23] Cady McClain: Pop used to make me a white russmus for the walk home.

[9:29] Robert Funaro: Nightcap would be nice, Max.

[9:32] Cady McClain: It's closing, Grace.

[9:35] Robert Funaro: Well, Mommy died.

[9:37] Cady McClain: And I'm here on holiday.

[9:40] Robert Funaro: And it's Christmas.

[9:42] Cady McClain: People. Places. Things.

[9:46] Robert Funaro: You think I indulge like this in Tokyo?

[9:49] Cady McClain: Keep it simple.

[9:50] Robert Funaro: I wouldn't be where I am if I indulged like this in Tokyo.

[9:53] Cady McClain: Do you believe in God, Grace?

[9:56] Robert Funaro: I told you what I believe in, Max.

[9:59] Cady McClain: What?

[10:01] Robert Funaro: I believe in Santa Claus.

[10:03] Cady McClain: Grace, come on.

[10:05] Robert Funaro: I believe in Santa Claus.

[10:08] Cady McClain: In this bar. On Christmas.

[10:10] Robert Funaro: It's too bad everybody turned their backs on him.

[10:13] Cady McClain: He had a problem, Grace.

[10:15] Robert Funaro: We all have problems.

[10:17] Cady McClain: I should have been there for him.

[10:18] Robert Funaro: I believed.

[10:20] Cady McClain: He loved you very much. He was very proud of you.

[10:23] Robert Funaro: I know. I know. He loved me very much.

[10:25] Cady McClain: I don't need you to keep saying he loved you very much.

[10:28] Robert Funaro: He loved you. And Pop.

[10:31] Cady McClain: All of us. Even Mommy, who didn't have a lovable day in her life.

[10:35] Robert Funaro: So where were we when he needed us?

[10:38] Cady McClain: It's no one's fault, Grace.

[10:40] Robert Funaro: It wasn't enough for me to move across the globe to pay their mortgage and their expenses?

[10:44] Cady McClain: I was supposed to get him on and off the mountain, too?

[10:46] Robert Funaro: There's nothing any of us could have done to make different decisions for him.

[10:50] Cady McClain: And no one thought it was unusual for Santa to be sleeping in a bus shelter on Christmas Eve?

[10:55] Robert Funaro: Like he didn't have anything better to do?

[10:58] Cady McClain: He stopped for a rest on his walk home and he froze himself.

[11:02] Robert Funaro: And who's responsible for that?

[11:05] Cady McClain: No one up here wants to own that, huh?

[11:09] Robert Funaro: Now that's interesting.

[11:12] Cady McClain: Except the things we do.

[11:14] Robert Funaro: Except the things we cannot change.

[11:17] Cady McClain: And change the things we can.

[11:20] Robert Funaro: It's all a part of facing yourself, Grace.

[11:23] Cady McClain: We can't run away forever.

[11:26] Robert Funaro: I haven't been back in ages, but it's all just as I remember.

[11:31] Cady McClain: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

[11:35] Robert Funaro: Drive up the mountain. A road into town.

[11:39] Cady McClain: Your father tells me you've been a very good girl this year.

[11:43] Robert Funaro: And the valley below, winking at me with its sparkling lights.

[11:50] Cady McClain: So what do you want for Christmas, little girl?

[11:53] Robert Funaro: All the ghosts of Christmas past are welcoming me back.

[11:58] Cady McClain: What do you want more than anything in the whole wide world?

[12:03] Robert Funaro: I forgot how it felt to be home.

[12:06] Cady McClain: But I remember now.

[12:09] Robert Funaro: And how's that?

[12:11] Cady McClain: Same as it ever was.

[12:15] Robert Funaro: My name is Grace.

[12:19] Cady McClain: And I'm an alcoholic.

[12:40] Robert Funaro: For more content, please visit AroundTheSunPodcast.com.

[12:44] Cady McClain: If you enjoyed this episode, please like, share, and subscribe today.

[12:47] Robert Funaro: This episode also featured Jack Quint as the Barfly.