This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:11] Joe Rosko: Hey, what's going on? Welcome to Built for the Stage Podcast. This is Joe Rosko, founder and host of Built for the Stage, Broadway's number one fitness platform with clients in over 20 Broadway shows, clients in the West End in London, Australia, Tokyo Disney, collegiate stages across the country. We're everywhere. We are your one stop shop for all things theater and fitness. Check us out on BuiltForTheStage.com. You can get your own Broadway fitness program at no cost to check it out and to work with me on an interactive fitness app, BuiltForTheStage.com. Special thanks to BPN, Broadway Podcast Network for producing this episode. All right, let's get on to our guests. Special guests as always, exciting times.

We are in like the thick of not just like Tony season coming up in June, but also just like new musicals galore. They're just sprouting everywhere. Boop. Real women have curves. What else did I just see that's coming up? Death Becomes Her was a little bit far away. What else am I missing? I've seen like 14 shows literally, but I'm blanking. But this show, Smash, is a smash I hear. So I can't wait for our guest. I got to meet our guest, I think through Bad Cinderella, which they appeared in on Broadway. They also were in Elf. And here they are in Smash, this epic like cult TV show turned Broadway show. Let's bring them on. Maybe the best name in the Broadway scene, J Savage. Hey, J. How's it going?

[2:01] J Savage: Oh, it's going fabulous. Thanks for joining us from your dressing room.

[2:06] Joe Rosko: Thank you. And yeah, you're like you're in the midst of what, previews right now?

[2:12] J Savage: Yeah, you're still like changing things or what's going on?

[2:14] Joe Rosko: We actually opened last week.

[2:16] J Savage: So, oh, you opened last week, that's right. Wait, what did you just you just you had rehearsal though?

[2:21] Joe Rosko: Some what I know you put in, I put in the show. Now we're in the midst of understudy rehearsals. So we had previews to get some understudy rehearsal in. So everyone got their like full first round of principal put ins yesterday, so we can check that off.

[2:36] J Savage: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice. But yeah, kind of I can't keep up with y'all. Okay, so it's Floyd Collins is opening this week.

[2:44] Joe Rosko: So you guys, that's what it was. They're opening this week. You opened last. Okay, got I can't keep I can't keep it up. There's so many exciting things opening. I'm telling you, this Tony season's gonna be wild. I was briefly mentioning to you before we hit record that I'll be seeing your show the week, Tony, not just like the week of, but like Tony's weekend. I think that Saturday, like the day before the Tonys, I'll be seeing your show. So I'm gonna bring all the good juju, like as many good vibes to you as possible. I'll be just they'll be coming out of my pores. I'll be so positive for y'all.

[3:19] J Savage: We'll take them. We'll take them.

[3:22] Joe Rosko: Okay, so what's the process been like for you? Have you been with the show since like its inception, or did you hop on just for the Broadway cast? What's your history with the show?

[3:30] J Savage: For sure. I am new to the show with the Broadway production. I did not do the workshop or any of the readings. I'm very fresh to it. Which has been really fun because there's some people who have been carried over for the workshop in the ensemble, and then a lot of the principals have been with it from the beginning. So it's exciting to join and see them create like, oh, we did this in the workshop, and then this really worked, and this wasn't working, so let's try this and all that jazz. So it's exciting to be able to join so fresh. We had before we started, we had two weeks of pre-pro. What's really fun is Katie Weber, who's in our ensemble, and Jenny LaRoche, who's our associate, and Josh, who did the choreography for the TV show.

Jenny was on the TV show and Katie Weber was on the TV show, so it's really fun, and she's kind of been with it then through the workshops and all the readings. And it's so fun to like hear them talk about well, on the TV show, we did this because of this, and but now we're doing this because of this, and then like seeing what survived and what's changed. It's been a really fun process. And with like Susan Stroman and like Brooks and Robin, and like it's just like everybody's at the top of their game, so it's so fun to get to come in and watch Masters at work. It's been a joy.

[4:51] Joe Rosko: Yeah. So let's rewind. Can Little J Savage imagine that they would be in a Broadway production like this? Where are you from? When does theater come into play? Let's start there. Where is the origin story from?

[5:08] J Savage: For sure. Well, I think in the words and story, I think it's important to mention that my last name is real. I didn't come up with it as a stage name. I get so nervous that people are like, wow, call themselves Savage, what a dick. No, it's real. I'm honest. I won't go into the etymology of it, but it's very real. But you know, ever since I was a kid, I loved to sing and I loved to perform, and I loved to be the center of attention. And so I remember I was doing like a choir class in third grade, and she was kind of like, You want a solo? And I was like, Hell yeah, I do. And that was just kind of the beginning for me. And we moved to St. Louis, and my mom was like, Oh, there's this children's arts program.

Do you want to audition for Annie? And I was like, sure, why not? And I remember I went in and I sang, Give My Regards to Broadway, and then they asked me, they said, Of course you did, of course you. And they said, Do you have anything else? And at the time I was like, What? I didn't know what the fuck that meant. Right, right, right. Can I swear on that?

[6:15] Joe Rosko: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[6:16] J Savage: Okay, great. Yeah, so I didn't have anything else because I was six, and so I was like, I could sing In My Own Little Corner. So I sang In My Own Little Corner, acapella, and it was and they laughed at me, but in a good way, I guess. And then I got the bug, you know, and from then on, I was like, This is what I want to do. And I didn't realize that you could go to college for this until like I was like a sophomore in high school, and like people were auditioning for colleges. I was like, Oh, great. So I went to Penn State, which I loved, I loved every second of it, and then Julio, who you know, Julio and I, my senior year were like the two leads in the spring musical. And then he and I made our Broadway debuts together at Bat Boy and Drella, which is really special.

[7:03] Joe Rosko: Yeah, yeah.

[7:04] J Savage: So if you asked Little Me if I would be here right now, I probably would be like, Well, I hope so, but also like wouldn't have truly believed that I would be here right now. Smash in my third Broadway show, which it's just so crazy. You know, for Smash the TV show, I was too scared to watch it as a kid. I was so scared of like seeing what the industry might be like because I never was too scared to do this, and like that in Glee, I couldn't watch it because I was afraid that I would like realize that I wasn't good enough. And so I just like put an embargo on it. And I'm so glad I waited because now to watch Smash, as I'm in Smash, it means so much more to me because A, I can decipher like what's exaggerated and what's real.

[7:56] Joe Rosko: I was just gonna say, if you did watch it years ago, you wouldn't have gotten the proper perception of what it really was like because some of the ways they portrayed it was ludicrous, it was hilarious.

[8:09] J Savage: But yes, for you to watch it now, I'm sure you had a huge LOL moment, yeah.

[8:14] Absolutely, and I'm like, oh, this is not real. Or being like, oh, that's real. Like, I know where they are, I know what they're doing, I know who that is. I've met that person. Or like, or they start rehearsing the number, and I'm like, oh, we literally did that in rehearsal today. That's so funny and silly, and you know, and then I'm finally in season two, and I'm like, every day I go backstage and say, Well, Krista, you did this today in season two, and she's like, I have no recollection of that.

[8:42] Joe Rosko: It's just like what's a what's it like? You were mentioning these huge epic names of Broadway. What's it like to be in? I know that you're open now, but like the rehearsal process, what was it like to be in the room creating this piece with names like that in the room?

[8:59] J Savage: It's pretty surreal. It's one of those moments where you walk in every day and you know, you wake up and you're like, Oh my god, here we go next day, and you take moments, look at where you are and look at who you're working with, and look at what you're getting to do. You know, it's just so surreal to be like, this is where you want it to be. You're in the room where it happens. Sorry, I'm right next door to Hamilton. And you're getting to be a part of it, and you get to watch them create, and you get to create yourself. You know, you're creating your own ensemble track, you're building it as it happens, and it's surreal, especially like with Stro. Like, I remember studying Stro in college, and now I get to see her work and like and the brilliance that she is.

It's like, oh wow, like this is the same woman that did all these shows that I was obsessed with growing up. And you can see her make decisions and then see her like make a choice and be like, let's try this, and then be like, nope, that's not gonna work. I tried it, it didn't work. Let's change it, you know. And the joy that she brings to the room is so encouraging because I think sometimes, especially like when you're a scared little college boy and like afraid of your own shadow, you're afraid to like enter the business and scared that there's gonna be a Derek Wells of Smash when you walk into a room, and to be comforted by like, no, these are people who love what they do and they trust in themselves and their ability. It makes you want to trust yourself, which is so important and so special.

[10:41] Joe Rosko: And so I've been working on it. You talked about getting to create moments in your own ensemble track. Are there any moments if we were to be watching the show and keeping an eye out on you while you're in your track? Any moments that you just love or are your favorites? And then how did you come about those creating those moments?

[11:00] J Savage: I am so glad you asked. There are two specific moments in the show that are my favorites, and they are as follows. There is a scene, and there's this like Sardis type restaurant that they're always having production meetings at called the 11 O'Clock Spot. And there's a scene where there's a waiter, and I was reading the script, and I was like, I have to do this bit, I have to do this bit. And I kept looking at the tracking, being like, Okay, it says I'm the waiter, and it hasn't changed yet. So like, I hope this is me. And the bit is at the end of the scene, our the producer character, Anita, goes, waiter, waiter, actor, and then he whip around headshot in hand, and then I run across the stage, and then we ride the palette off, and I just think it is so ridiculous, it's so funny.

And so when Stro was like, Okay, so we were doing the scene that happens after, she goes, So you're actually gonna be entering late in this scene because you're the waiter in the prior scene. I was like, Yes! And she was like, I was like, I'm so excited, I really wanted to be the waiter, and she was like, Okay, okay. And she was like, Why is he so excited? Is he kidding? Was he being real? And then we got to run the scene, and you know, it was just hilarious. And I was like, see, I told you I really wanted to do this. And the best part is I'm holding my own headshot, which is so funny to be holding my own headshot on a Broadway stage. It's just hilarious. And then at the very end of the show, without having wanting to ruin what happens, there's a moment where there's a reveal into a dream sequence, and it's me, which I think is so funny. I'm not the dream sequence, but the dream sequence is happening, and then I get to be a part of it. And I don't want to ruin it. You'll see it.

[13:02] Joe Rosko: Okay, a part that I really love in the finale.

[13:05] J Savage: Okay, very good. All right, so without ruining this as well, we all understand from the marketing of the show that it's not just a copy paste of the TV show. So without giving things away, is there anything that you could be like, hey, you need to come see this musical because it's not just what you watched on TV, it's XYZ?

[13:28] J Savage: Absolutely. Well, first off, it's a comedy, which already is such a big tone shift from the show. The show was melodrama, and there was a lot of stuff to laugh at and enjoy in the show in the TV show. I loved the first season. I am still watching the second season, so no comment yet. But what I think is to put, and that was back when TV shows had like 20 hour episodes, you don't get that anymore. There's so much content that there's no way that you could successfully put the TV show on stage. There's no way. And I think what our writers did was really smart is be like, so let's not even try. Let's take what we love from the show, keep that, and then make something totally new that's even truer to what we're doing.

And what is truer to Broadway than a musical comedy? And so what I think it is safe to say is that in this version, Ivy Lynn is a big Broadway star. She's like three million followers, like she is like the pinnacle of Broadway. Everybody loves Ivy Lynn. When Ivy Lynn's doing a show, you know it's gonna be a hit. She's beloved in the community, she is adored, she's kind and wonderful and talented and a dream.

[14:50] J Savage: Karen is her understudy and has been her go-to understudy. They're best friends, have been for years. This is her fourth time understudying Ivy, and so they're kind of in a way a package deal, which is really fun. You get to see the relationship, you get to see Karen step in for Ivy, and you get to see this relationship of women supporting women, which is so awesome. Sometimes I think it's easy to go into the trope of women tearing each other down, which is kind of what Smash does, these two women battling. The TV show, not the musical. What's clear is that Ivy then ends up picking up a method acting book that was taught by the teacher who taught Marilyn, and so she seeks out the acting teacher and then becomes very involved with method acting.

And chaos ensues. What's so fun about the musical is that it truly shows how hard it is to make a musical. I mean, anyone who's ever been in a process of a musical knows that there's always some hitch that arrives and something that tries to upset, or something that's just gonna make it harder than it needs to be. We're trying to deal with these problems, and things keep steamrolling, and we all just want to make a good show, but life just keeps getting in the way. As you can imagine, chaos ensues from there. But it's just a fun time. You get all the music you want, all the choreography you want, and you get to see a look behind the scenes, which I think is so fun.

[16:37] Joe Rosko: So you brought up real chaos that tries to negate the progress of a show. What real progress was negated in the midst of your actual mounting of this show? Was there any tech or anything that was like, wait a second, this isn't going the way we planned it to be?

[16:58] J Savage: One thing that is so meta, it's so fun in that sense, and what is so meta is at our first preview, an actress got sick and had to call out, and her understudy went on, which is something that happens in our show, which is just so funny and crazy. We had that happen a couple times in previews with actors going on in roles and at the last minute being thrown in, being like, ah, so like that was really the big one. I will say, like, all things considered, our tech process was very smooth. Our team, if there was trouble, I will say, like, I didn't know about it because the team was so great at handling those things without us knowing it, if those things even happened. All things considered, this is a very smooth process, thankfully.

[17:57] Joe Rosko: Yeah, your show brings a bit of Leonardo DiCaprio Inception, that movie maybe 20, 30 years ago where it's like a world within a world within a world within a world.

[18:09] J Savage: How dare you say 20, 30 years ago.

[18:12] Joe Rosko: Oh my god.

[18:14] J Savage: Wasn't it like early 2000s when that movie came out?

[18:18] Joe Rosko: Like 2003.

[18:21] J Savage: Oh, really? I remember being a freshman in high school when it came out.

[18:24] Joe Rosko: Oh, so you know the movie. Sometimes I bring this movie up, and people have no idea what I'm talking about.

[18:31] J Savage: You're actually spot on. I just googled it. Inception 2010 film.

[18:35] Joe Rosko: All right, so 15 years ago, not 20 or 30, excuse me.

[18:38] J Savage: Yeah, thank you. Give me those five years.

[18:40] Joe Rosko: That was the fastest movie anyone has ever done.

[18:42] J Savage: Ah, look at me, just the one-man show over here. Just, you know, tech wizard, I'm like the wizard behind the curtain.

[18:49] Joe Rosko: How are you?

[18:49] J Savage: I'm on an interview.

[18:51] Joe Rosko: Oh, hi.

[18:52] J Savage: Hi.

[18:53] Joe Rosko: Hi, guest artist on the interview.

[18:56] J Savage: Okay, so you were talking about that you opened last week. Tell us about what it's like to open your third show and some of the valleys that you might have went through starting out in New York City or in the midst of the career of stop-start, stop-start, things are great, things are not. What did this opening mean to you? Maybe in comparison to others.

[19:30] J Savage: That's such a good question. What's so interesting about this is you always hear your first job is a job, your second job makes a career. When I was doing Bad Cinderella, which was a dream, I loved every second of it. It was in this room, actually, in this theater. It was a great group of people, and we were having a wonderful time, and it was such a fun show to do. I spent the whole time being so scared that I would never be on Broadway again. It was like, what if this is it? What if this is my only swan song, and it only happened for two and a half months? It's so scary, you know? Cause I mean, that's just our job, our career is like no show is ever infinite, and so it's always like, will there be the next one?

What is the next one? Is this the end? To now be here, it's kind of like, oh, now I've made it in a way, which also is weird for me to say because I'm like, what if this is my last project? That feeling never goes away. But to be here now, I'm like, okay, you have a career that you've worked so hard for, and it feels like in Bad Cinderella, I was like, oh, I have to prove myself. Do I really belong here? You know, and Elf was a joyous process because it was Christmas and wonderful, and I knew about Smash during Elf. So I think Elf got to be a little bit like, I know I'm going to Smash. So it's kind of like, woo, yay! And then, like, for now until then to walk in that first day of rehearsal and then to open the third Broadway show, I was like, I've done this twice before.

I know what it's like to open a Broadway show. For all three of my Broadway shows to be, well, you know, an original revival company for Elf, but like an original company is so special. It feels like, okay, I know how this process goes, and I know how to do this, and I feel like I am a professional. I understand how to do this, and I understand how I operate within this business and within the process. That's a really special feeling because when I moved to New York, again, I was so scared of everything in my own shadow. But I knew that if I wanted to do this, I had to jump in. So I went to every single audition I could, and I just kept showing up and I kept going, and I was working as a waiter, and I would switch my shifts so I could go to callbacks, and everyone at that restaurant hated me because I was like, well, I'm gonna be an actor, and they're like, yes, so are we, and I'm like, no, but I'm actually gonna do it. Okay, I'm actually doing it.

[22:21] J Savage: I kept pushing, pushing, and I was booking regional gigs, and things were trying to really pick up, and it was really exciting. I remember, you know what date I'm about to say? March 2020. I had a final callback for the vacation swing in Jagged Little Pill, and I was like, this is it. I'm about to book Broadway. This is gonna be my Broadway debut. It is time, and I was in a studio going through the material, and then we were like, oh, is Broadway shutting down? Sure enough, I look on Instagram, and Broadway is shut down for the month. I was like, so I'm guessing I don't have a final callback tomorrow. And I didn't. I went home and I was like, okay, and then so on so forth, pandemic. I was like, okay, well, it's very clear like theater's not coming back for a while, and the only reason I'm in New York City is to pursue theater.

So until that's happening, I'm leaving. I had decided that I wanted to work in a national park. I completely pivoted, and I did all this research and eventually found a friend of a friend who lived in Utah and lived in a van. We all just went out to Utah, just kind of figured it out. I put everything in storage, and I had a backpack and a duffel bag, and I was hanging out out west, going on road trips for like six weeks. We were just vibing, and then everybody was like, okay, it's time to go our separate ways. I was like, okay, well, theater's not back. I bought a one-way ticket, like I want a van. So I bought a van. It was so cool. I was like, great, I have a van, I need a job. I was looking, looking, looking, and I ended up getting a job in Yellowstone National Park as a preschool teacher to the Rangers' kids.

I moved to Yellowstone and lived there for 11 months, teaching preschool to the most incredible children. I lived there for 11 months, and I met this man, and I had a mountain boyfriend who taught me how to rock climb and ski, and I lived a completely different life. It was thrilling. But also the whole time I was like, well, I have to go back eventually because this is my dream. I want to be on Broadway and I want to perform. It's who I am. In that job, I was performing for the children all the time. Every circle time is a performance opportunity. I'd bring my guitar and we'd sing, and I was writing a lot of music. I wrote a one-man show, which I've done at 54 in Green Room, and I'm working on adapting it to something bigger now.

The whole time I had this dream in the back of my head, and I was like, I have to go eventually. I remember these late nights, I'd go into the community center, this abandoned community center in Yellowstone, and just dance on these rubber mats to be like, I have to stay in shape. I have to stay in shape, and I have to sing, and I have to keep dancing, and I had to keep this art alive because I am coming back. It was time to come back. I remember driving back. It took about three months to come back, and my van was having a lot of problems. My van kicked the bucket and died, like was not coming back to life. I was ready to keep it, which is a terrible decision. It was really a blessing in disguise because that was like symbolism.

It was like you enjoyed this life, and you made the most of it, but it is time to let it go. I took everything out of the van and put it in a U-Haul, and I drove the last 200 miles into the city. I remember seeing the skyline and just sobbing because I was like, what did I do this for? What am I doing with my life? What is happening? I was sobbing, and it was my 25th birthday, actually. I said, you know what? If I'm coming back into New York City to pursue this godforsaken dream, I'm gonna do two things this year. I'm going to do my first solo backpack because I'm gonna hold on to this part of myself that I have always wanted to pursue and now have made come alive. I'm gonna book Broadway.

[27:01] J Savage: Months passed, and I was working in Sacramento. I had a week off between shows, and I was like, oh, I'm going to Yosemite, and I'm gonna do my first solo backpack. Right before I left, I got an audition for ALW Cinderella. I was like, okay, well, I have to fly back for this. This is my last chance to book Broadway before I turn 26. I went into the woods and did my first solo backpack, and it was so intense. I ended up walking 22 miles in two days, and it was so thrilling and amazing and fantastic. I came out of the woods, flew to New York, auditioned for Bad Cinderella, and then flew back to start this next show in California. Eight days before I turned 26, I got the call.

[28:01] Joe Rosko: There's this repeating pattern with you of your resiliency or your drive to make something happen. One was the waiters at your restaurant that hated you saying, like, we're actors too, and you kept in your story, you're saying, no, no, I'm really gonna do this. I'm gonna do it. And then when you're returning back and your van dies, and you're like, you know what? I'm going to solo backpack and I will book Broadway. And yeah, here you are.

[28:33] J Savage: I've seen such proof of manifestation in my life because not only did I manifest working in a national park, I said I'm gonna do that. Even though I went out with no plans to actually do it set in stone, I was like, okay, I'm just going out west and I'm gonna make it work. A month and a half later, I suddenly got a job in a national park, and I made it happen. You didn't just rub the magic lamp of manifestation and then you got to be on Broadway.

[28:57] J Savage: You know, you didn't it wasn't it wasn't by accident, like how did you get the job?

[29:01] J Savage: Like, I think people get manifestation twisted where they think it's just a I say something out loud and then it manifests and then it's there when really it's about putting yourself out there, doing what it takes, following the rock that you threw out to the universe, also running after the rock and seeing what is on that path to what it's gonna lead you to.

[29:22] J Savage: So please dive into that because I know that you know.

[29:30] J Savage: No, I'm so glad you said that because I think often that can be the misconception. The idea of manifestation for me is fixing that image in my mind and then letting every action I take come from that image.

[29:45] J Savage: Because if you're operating from a negative self-image, like the easiest example I use is like there's a note you're scared to sing, and you're like, there's a difference between saying, I'm gonna hit this note versus I'm not gonna crack. Because when you say I'm not gonna crack, the image that you're creating in your head is cracking and then not doing that. But the image is cracking. So everything you're doing is coming from that image in your brain, whether you know it or not. Everything is stemming from that. And it puts you into a defensive space, it puts you into a protective space. But when you come from the image of I'm gonna hit this note, you're seeing the image of you hitting the note.

So that everything you're doing is leading to you hitting the note. So when I say I'm gonna go work in a national park, I'm like, okay, well, I gotta go out west. Like I have to get out there first. You know, because if I'm not there, like also who's gonna wanna hire me? So I have to fly across the country to like go work at this park. I have no experience. Like, who, why would that happen? You know, so like you have to then take the steps to make it happen. You have to do the small things that add up. And same with like, I'm not gonna be a waiter for the rest of my life, it's like I'm not gonna turn down an audition because I have a shift. Like, and I saw that so many times with people, and I'm not trying to throw tea or shade at waiters who want to be actors, or like it's so important, and it's such a true pipeline.

It happens, like it's a survival job, and it's a great survival job. You work at nights and you do the day, but there is a trap that I think people can fall into where you're making solid money and you don't want to give up the shift, and like you have to take the risk. And so when I say I'm actually going to do this, and I see someone being like, I'm like, oh, they're like, oh, I need to go to an audition. It's been a while. I'm like, well, here's like six auditions that are coming up this week that you can go to. Like, oh, well, I don't know if I'm the right type, right? My headshots, print it out. Like, you have that ability. Print out the headshot. Go find a song. Like those are easy, tangible things to do to prepare yourself to do this thing that you're truly just too scared to go do now.

You have to do it. And you have to face the fear. Because then, because no one's gonna hand it to you. No one is. You have to do something to show them that it's your time and that you're prepared and ready. I manifested my boyfriend of two years. I said, my New Year's resolution of 2020 going into 2023 was I want a boyfriend. I was ready for a boyfriend in my life. And so you know what I did? I got on Hinge and I went on fucking dates. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna go on all these bad dates. He's not just gonna appear. And then I went on these fine dates, good dates, bad dates, and then I matched with this boy who I miraculously have so much history with. Like we actually knew each other 10 years ago, but forgot about it. And now we're like, oh my god, that's you, and like this man that 10 years ago, Joe, I manifested this boy. If I'm getting too deep dive, let me know.

[32:57] Joe Rosko: No, no.

[32:57] J Savage: But 10 years ago, we were both accepted to Penn State, and we, my class met on a Google Hangout, and I remember this before Zoom, and I was like, Who is this boy? He was so cute, he's so amazing. He can't go to Penn State because I will fall in love with him. He will not love me. I'm a mess right now. I need to go to college. I was like, he was choosing between that and Princeton. I said, let him go to Princeton. We can meet 10 years down the line, I'll be on Broadway, and then we can fall in love. And 10 years later, he had gone to Princeton. We reconnected. Well, I was in previews for Bad Cinderella. And then now we've been together for two years and are moving into our second apartment together in two weeks. Like, hmm. I manifested that shit. Thank you for your TED talk. That was amazing.

[33:56] Joe Rosko: Thank you for letting me ramble.

[33:56] J Savage: Please, please. Thank you. Thank you. Standing ovation, everyone.

[34:00] Joe Rosko: Um, okay. Well, I want to be respectful with your time. You're joining us.

[34:03] J Savage: I have time.

[34:04] Joe Rosko: Oh, you have time.

[34:06] J Savage: You have time.

[34:06] Joe Rosko: Okay, amazing. So I love that you just gave us that insight on the whole manifestation thing, because I'm very passionate about it, and you are as well. And yes, thank you for sharing that. Um when, so you're giving us a lot of like the examples of like I set my mind to it, and then you know, it happened. It came to fruition. Was there besides, I want let's go back to COVID and let's go back to the Jagged Little Pill callback that didn't happen and all that. And then you going west, and like when were you, and you even, even in college, you said I was a mess. Like, I like to get real on the show to let people know like they're not alone in this, that like everyone they're seeing on Broadway didn't have this red carpet rolled out, and they just kind of smoked a cigarette and strutted down the aisle, and there they were. Like, uh yeah, what, let's do this.

[35:13] J Savage: Let's do this.

[35:13] Joe Rosko: Maybe you've already said it, but like, what was your fork in the road where you almost quit or you almost said like enough's enough?

[35:21] J Savage: Myself. I was the fork in the road.

[35:25] Joe Rosko: Okay, good. Let's get into it.

[35:26] J Savage: Let's get into it. Yeah, yes, perfect. I have spent so much of my life, and I still am, and I've gotten better at it, but it's something I'm constantly working on. It's like believing in myself and trusting myself, which is something I am like am constantly looking externally for that trust. I'm like always trying to find the validation from other people so that I can then trust myself. But like, no one is gonna trust you until you trust yourself. And I have faked it and it's worked well enough. But like, there have been so many moments in my life where I have held myself back from doing something that I know I could have done because I didn't believe that I could. And I have spent so much time apologizing for being where I am and wasting so much time and energy worrying about something that I said as being misconstrued, and that that one tiny thing will ruin my career.

Like, it is crazy psychopathic shit that I'm like always constantly having to remind myself of like A, you're allowed to make a mistake, you're allowed to make mistakes because also that's how we grow. It's how you grow from these mistakes and how you choose to move forward from them, own them and acknowledge them and learn from them so you don't make them again, and then you're gonna make new mistakes, and that's okay, that's what it is. But I've spent so much time and like so much worry in like so many different realms of my life, whether it be like at an opening party, being like, did I just say something so annoying? Like, oh, did that person like me? Oh, do they think I'm crazy? Like wasting time, and then taking away from my own joy of being able to enjoy that moment and being there because I'm worried about a three-second conversation I had with someone who I've decided is going to make or break the rest of my life.

It makes no sense. And then you, and then I see it back in them. Like I see them see me like want to please and want to be good enough, and it's a turn off, and I see it happen, I see it happen in real time, and then I self-destruct because I'm like, oh no. And it's this crazy self-fulfilling prophecy that fills itself, and I wish I had the answers to fix it.

[38:00] Joe Rosko: Yeah, but I have tools now that I'm like, okay, like take a breath, relax, and now like I'm here. I can, a tool for me is being like, Jonathan, you're in your third original Broadway show. You're fine. Okay. Trust yourself, trust you know what to do, trust you know how to do your job, and that also trusting that you're crazy and who you are, and this person that is too much is also what got you to be here? Because it is what makes you you. There's so many, I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months alone where I've been like, wow, I wish I was someone else.

[38:43] J Savage: Which sucks.

[38:43] Joe Rosko: Why is it?

[38:43] J Savage: Why, yeah, why is that? Because I'm like, why am I so anxious all the time? Why am I so worried about what other people thinking? Everyone's having a great time, and I'm like in my head, like causing myself to have a bad time, or like be miserable, or like ruin wonderful experience or wonderful moments for myself because I'm choosing to have this anxiety. Like, man, I wish I was someone else who didn't do that. And that sucks because you know, I really love me. I love who I am. I have worked so hard to be the person I want to be and to love the person who I am. And it's so, it's so frustrating to me in and of itself when I do that, and that I'm doing that, and again, the cycle happens, and I have to be like, stop. Like, you're this crazy person who maybe just made someone go, ah, but like also that person will then realize that that is just who you are, and that that's beautiful, you know, that you're this energetic, excited, joyous person, and that's who J Savage is.

[39:54] Joe Rosko: Because God, and I hate J Savage.

[39:56] J Savage: I had to change it because equity, like there was like some version of J Savage that was taken, so I had to change my name, and J was like the closest thing I could do to stay close to my name.

[40:10] Joe Rosko: Oh, so you don't even, you don't even like it.

[40:12] J Savage: No, no, I don't.

[40:14] Joe Rosko: So, wait, you just, you just rather be just Jonathan.

[40:17] J Savage: Like you'd rather just J Savage is my name.

[40:22] J Savage: But it was like J Savage or something, and you can't do any form of the name, so I couldn't be John. See the things you, the things you find out that I'm thinking like, uh, he just J. But no, he wants to be just Jonathan.

[40:35] Joe Rosko: And that's where the J came from because I was like, I don't know.

[40:37] J Savage: Well, you're right. My name. I've never wanted to change my name. I've always wanted that to be my name. And this is like the closest thing I could do to keep my name.

[40:41] Joe Rosko: Yeah.

[40:46] J Savage: And I get stressed that it makes the Savage look fake, but it's not.

[40:51] Joe Rosko: Um, but then it does lend itself to my very common nickname of JSAV.

[40:55] J Savage: Um anyway, that's a whole different conversation.

[40:59] Joe Rosko: But being me is who makes me JSAV, and not who these other people who are already successful and already have a career, like I'm, I, there's no point in wasting time trying to be them because they already exist.

[41:15] Joe Rosko: Yes, they do.

[41:16] J Savage: That's right.

[41:17] Joe Rosko: And I, we hear this all the time and over and over, and it's so hard to embody that and feel that and trust and trust that you are enough and that you are different, and the fact that like you feel different is actually a good thing because it makes you unique. It's scary and it's hard, and I'm still trying to deal with it. But that's the daily battle.

[41:39] Joe Rosko: I love this. I'm sharing this episode with my whole member base on the app because this has been a TED talk, this whole thing. Thank you so much, Jonathan.

[41:48] J Savage: Thank you, thank you so much.

[41:50] Joe Rosko: Now I don't even know what I mean. I guess on the streets you're gonna be Jonathan to me, but I guess for the professionalism of the episode, I'll say thank you, J.

[42:00] J Savage: I appreciate it.

[42:01] Joe Rosko: It's so funny because nowadays I start every rehearsal process with now I've tried different names and different rehearsal processes, and now everyone knows me by a different name. So now I just, I prepare everyone that as we're like doing the meeting great. I have about a one-minute monologue explaining what you're gonna call me, and you can call me whatever the hell you want because I've given up.

[42:21] J Savage: Yeah, yeah.

[42:21] Joe Rosko: So you're John, Johnny, Jonathan, Jay, J Sav, J Savage.

[42:26] J Savage: Savvy, Savage, Savvy, you pick.

[42:29] Joe Rosko: And then it's fun because it's like you get to pick what resonates with you.

[42:33] J Savage: I'm gonna call you a savvy savage.

[42:36] Joe Rosko: I think that's hilarious. You're such a savvy savage.

[42:42] Joe Rosko: Alright, well, Jay, Jonathan, Johnny John, Sav, JSAB. Thank you so much for being on Built for the Stage podcast.

[42:46] J Savage: Thank you so much. This has been awesome.

[42:53] Joe Rosko: Alright everyone, J Savage, make sure if you haven't seen SMASH yet, run, fly, take a car to New York City, and go see the production of SMASH. Make sure to check out Jay John Johnny, Jonathan, Jay, Sav, Savvy Savage on Instagram.

[43:12] J Savage: That's J A Savage 5.

[43:17] Joe Rosko: I'm assuming the A is a middle name.

[43:20] J Savage: Let's bring him back.

[43:21] J Savage: A is a middle name, yeah.

[43:23] J Savage: It is a middle name.

[43:25] J Savage: Anthony, Andrew.

[43:27] J Savage: So I'm a very open book. I will tell anyone everything, anything about me. And if you ask anyone, they'll tell you. But the one thing I keep to myself is my middle name.

[43:36] Joe Rosko: Oh, okay.

[43:37] J Savage: There it is.

[43:39] Joe Rosko: Wow.

[43:39] J Savage: You can go find it. I don't care. It's just like this thing I do for myself that I think is funny, is I don't tell people my middle name.

[43:46] Joe Rosko: Hilarious.

[43:47] J Savage: Oh, another did you know moment.

[43:50] Joe Rosko: Did you know?

[43:51] J Savage: Okay, goodbye.

[43:52] Joe Rosko: Goodbye again.

[43:53] J Savage: Alright.

[43:53] Joe Rosko: So go follow this, this name just keeps getting more mysterious. He really does need a one-minute monologue when he introduces himself for new shows. Uh, but nonetheless, J A Savage 5 on the Insta. Go give a follow. Uh, thanks again for listening, for following along to the episode. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast, go on the gram at Built for the Stage. Uh, check us out on the website, builtforthestage.com. And we'll see you next time. Actors or athletes, train like one later.