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[0:00] Patrick Oliver Jones: Well, hello there, Closing Night listeners.

[0:03] Patrick Oliver Jones: I wanted to pop into your feed to let you know that I am hard at work crafting the second season of Closing Night, which is set to premiere this June.

[0:12] Patrick Oliver Jones: But while we all eagerly await the curtain rising on our next act, I couldn't resist sharing a story with you about a show that famously closed on its opening night.

[0:23] Patrick Oliver Jones: In fact, I actually have plans to do a future season all about Broadway productions that only lasted one performance.

[0:31] Patrick Oliver Jones: But I can now take one show off my list of potential episodes.

[0:36] Patrick Oliver Jones: That's because of the podcast I'm sharing with you today.

[0:40] Patrick Oliver Jones: A podcast that feels like a time machine, whisking us away to different eras and immersing us in captivating stories of yesteryear.

[0:49] Patrick Oliver Jones: It's called History Daily.

[0:51] Patrick Oliver Jones: But it isn't your average history podcast.

[0:54] Patrick Oliver Jones: It is a real treasure trove of tales from the past delivered straight to your ears every weekday, from monumental battles to the quirkiest fashion trends, from groundbreaking scientific discoveries to the drama of politics, sports, and even theater.

[1:13] Patrick Oliver Jones: Now, back in December, the host, Lindsay Graham, no, not that Lindsay, and his production team over at History Daily featured an episode from this podcast.

[1:24] Patrick Oliver Jones: Remember the one all about Andrew Lloyd Webber's's short-lived Broadway production of The Woman in White?

[1:30] Patrick Oliver Jones: Well, Lindsay talked about that production and shared that episode with his listeners.

[1:35] Patrick Oliver Jones: So now it's my turn to share one of their episodes.

[1:38] Patrick Oliver Jones: And much like Closing Night, History Daily is more than just a recounting of dates and names.

[1:45] Patrick Oliver Jones: It's about the lives, the struggles, and the triumphs of those who came before us.

[1:49] Patrick Oliver Jones: And you're about to hear a tale so legendary in the world of theater that it's become synonymous with failure.

[1:57] Patrick Oliver Jones: A play called Moose Murders.

[1:59] Patrick Oliver Jones: So let's journey back to February 22nd, 1983, as we unravel the mystery behind one of Broadway's biggest flops.

[2:08] Patrick Oliver Jones: It's a reminder that even the darkest nights in theater history have a story worth telling.

[2:27] Patrick Oliver Jones: A cocktail waiter is polishing glasses behind the bar at Sardi's, a restaurant in Manhattan's theater district.

[2:34] Patrick Oliver Jones: The waiter glances across the dining room at a group of people in formal evening attire.

[2:38] Patrick Oliver Jones: It's an unusually big crowd for a Tuesday.

[2:41] Patrick Oliver Jones: But then the waiter spots the bouquet of roses and champagne bottles and remembers that tonight, Sardi's is hosting a special event, the after party for the opening night of Moose Murders, a new Broadway play.

[2:54] Patrick Oliver Jones: The waiter scans the room, wondering if he'll recognize any of the actors.

[2:59] Patrick Oliver Jones: But his search is interrupted when a woman sitting alone at the bar catches his attention.

[3:04] Patrick Oliver Jones: The waiter moves over to take her order, and the woman asks for a double martini dry.

[3:10] Patrick Oliver Jones: While preparing her drink, the waiter steals a glance at the woman.

[3:13] Patrick Oliver Jones: She looks exhausted, her thick makeup unable to hide the dark shadows beneath her eyes.

[3:19] Patrick Oliver Jones: As he studies her face, the waiter gets the feeling that he's seen her someplace before, and then it dawns on him.

[3:25] Patrick Oliver Jones: He stops what he's doing and exclaims, June Gable, I saw you in Candide years ago.

[3:31] Patrick Oliver Jones: You were magnificent.

[3:33] Patrick Oliver Jones: June smiles sadly.

[3:35] Patrick Oliver Jones: The actress doesn't appear in the mood to chat.

[3:37] Patrick Oliver Jones: So the waiter finishes making her martini and slides the drink across the bar.

[3:43] Patrick Oliver Jones: As he does, he gestures towards the Moose Murders after party and asks if she's in the show.

[3:49] Patrick Oliver Jones: June nods, then she picks up her drink and throws it back with a grimace.

[3:54] Patrick Oliver Jones: When the waiter asks June how tonight's performance went, she taps her watch and says, We'll find out in 15 minutes.

[4:00] Patrick Oliver Jones: The waiter nods knowingly.

[4:02] Patrick Oliver Jones: It's almost 10 o'clock, and that's when the first critics review will appear on Channel 5, the moment the future of any Broadway show is decided.

[4:10] Patrick Oliver Jones: The waiter is about to wish June good luck, but before he can, she's already halfway across the restaurant, her fur coat draped over her shoulders.

[4:19] Patrick Oliver Jones: She pushes open the door and vanishes into the night.

[4:24] Patrick Oliver Jones: Shortly after June's departure, the reviews for Moose Murders will start rolling in.

[4:29] Patrick Oliver Jones: On Channel 5, theater critic Stuart Klein will call the show so titanically bad, you just sit back and laugh to keep from crying.

[4:38] Patrick Oliver Jones: Elsewhere, critics will be even less generous.

[4:41] Patrick Oliver Jones: In the New York Times, Frank Rich will call the show the worst play he's ever seen on a Broadway stage, while the New Yorkers Brendan Gill will write that Moose Murders would insult the intelligence of an audience consisting entirely of amoebas.

[4:56] Patrick Oliver Jones: No play could survive this deluge of bad press, and Moose Murders will be no exception.

[5:01] Patrick Oliver Jones: After a run of just one performance, the show will be canceled.

[5:05] Patrick Oliver Jones: But even after the title is scrubbed from the entrance of the Eugene O'Neill Theater, the memory of Moose Murders will linger over Broadway like a noxious haze, serving as the new low watermark against which all other shows will be measured.

[5:19] Patrick Oliver Jones: The dubious legacy of Broadway's most notorious flop, which opened and closed on this day, February 22nd, 1983.

[5:30] Lindsay Graham: From Noiser and Airship, I'm Lindsay Graham, and this is History Daily.

[5:55] Lindsay Graham: We tell the true stories of the people and events that shaped our world.

[5:59] Lindsay Graham: Today is February 22nd, 1983.

[6:02] Lindsay Graham: Moose Murders becomes the biggest flop in Broadway history.

[6:10] Lindsay Graham: It's fall 1983 in New York City, about four months before the opening night of Broadway's Biggest Flop.

[6:17] Lindsay Graham: Playwright Arthur Bicknell strolls along Broadway with a spring in his step.

[6:21] Lindsay Graham: Tucked under his arm is a manuscript of a play he's just written, a mystery farce in two acts called Moose Murders.

[6:28] Lindsay Graham: At just 30 years old, Arthur has already penned two successful off-Broadway shows, with critics comparing him to a young Arthur Miller, one of Broadway's most legendary playwrights.

[6:38] Lindsay Graham: But while Arthur Bicknell's work so far has only consisted of period pieces and slice of life dramas, he has always believed that his style lends itself most naturally to comedy.

[6:49] Lindsay Graham: So Arthur decided to write a satirical murder mystery based on his own experiences vacationing with his family at Big Moose Lake in the Adirondacks.

[6:58] Lindsay Graham: Writing the play was a breeze.

[6:59] Lindsay Graham: Arthur had a vast reserve of hilarious Bicknell family anecdotes to inspire him.

[7:04] Lindsay Graham: And the beauty of writing a farce is that none of the characters have to be believable or sensitively drawn.

[7:10] Lindsay Graham: They just need to be funny.

[7:11] Lindsay Graham: And as Arthur is rapidly discovering, funny is what he does best.

[7:15] Lindsay Graham: The play centers around a wealthy family who purchases a hunting lodge in upstate New York.

[7:21] Lindsay Graham: But when the family arrives at the lodge, they find it still occupied by its eccentric caretaker in a nightclub double act who used to perform at the lodge before it was sold.

[7:31] Lindsay Graham: As a thunderstorm rages outside, the characters are murdered one by one, leaving the surviving cast members to work out who the killer is.

[7:39] Lindsay Graham: Despite the broad humor, Arthur's play still has plenty of nuance.

[7:43] Lindsay Graham: He is, after all, a serious playwright.

[7:45] Lindsay Graham: There's a tongue-in-cheek self-awareness behind the slapstick gags and wry knowingness behind every physical joke.

[7:52] Lindsay Graham: Ultimately, Moose Murders aims to subtly satirize the very genre it's inhabiting.

[7:56] Lindsay Graham: It is simultaneously highbrow and lowbrow, a perfect distillation of Arthur's paradoxical artistic impulses.

[8:04] Lindsay Graham: Still, when writing the play, Arthur wondered if some of its subtlety might be lost on audiences and reviewers.

[8:09] Lindsay Graham: And when his first choice of director passed on the script, Arthur's confidence began to wane.

[8:14] Lindsay Graham: But shortly after this initial disappointment, Arthur received a call from John Roach, a director and co-founder of Force 10 Productions.

[8:23] Lindsay Graham: John phoned Arthur practically in hysterics.

[8:26] Lindsay Graham: He loved the script and wanted to take it to Broadway.

[8:29] Lindsay Graham: The only condition was that John's wife Lily, who had always wanted to be an actress, would play one of the lead roles, despite her lack of experience.

[8:37] Lindsay Graham: Arthur was in no position to refuse.

[8:40] Lindsay Graham: Lily was a Texas oil heiress.

[8:42] Lindsay Graham: Her father's millions are keeping Force 10 Productions afloat, and by extension, paying for his Moose Murders.

[8:49] Lindsay Graham: Arthur knew that for a shot at his big break, he'd have to let Lily take a shot at hers.

[8:54] Lindsay Graham: So now Arthur whistles cheerfully as he approaches the Minskoff rehearsal studios, where auditions for his play are taking place.

[9:01] Lindsay Graham: He strides into the studio and takes a seat alongside John, the director, and Ricca Canta Fisher, the hard-nosed producer.

[9:08] Lindsay Graham: Arthur still hasn't gotten used to the thrill of hearing professional actors reading his lines, and he spends all afternoon giggling at his own jokes.

[9:16] Lindsay Graham: By the end of the day, they're almost finished casting.

[9:20] Lindsay Graham: The only part they haven't yet filled is the lead role, the elderly mother, Hedda Holloway.

[9:25] Lindsay Graham: Arthur doesn't want any old actress to play Hedda.

[9:28] Lindsay Graham: He wants a big name, a movie star looking to make a spectacular return to the Broadway stage.

[9:34] Lindsay Graham: A few weeks ago, he traveled out to Los Angeles to meet with Eve Arden, an icon from the golden age of Hollywood.

[9:40] Lindsay Graham: But Eve, who is now 75, passed on the role.

[9:44] Lindsay Graham: Arthur flew back to New York disappointed, but confident they'd find a suitable alternative.

[9:49] Patrick Oliver Jones: Now, though, after seeing dozens of actresses read for the part, Arthur isn't so sure. None of them were right for the role. So that evening, as they're preparing to leave the studio, Arthur turns to John and Ricca. He tells them that the success of the play hinges on finding the right Heda. And if they don't, the whole enterprise could crash and burn, and their big Broadway break could be a flop. The three nod in agreement, then say their goodbyes and head off in separate directions. As he hails a cab, Arthur's buoyant mood has deflated. But in the coming days, the writer receives some uplifting news. Eve Arden has changed her mind. She's decided to take the part. A few days later, the cast and crew will gather for a lavish dinner party at John's apartment.

Arthur will gaze admiringly at Eve. The veteran actress will radiate professionalism and style, still able to light up the room with star quality. And in that moment, Arthur will feel confident that with Eve leading the ensemble, Moose Murders will be a roaring and unmitigated hit.

[11:08] Patrick Oliver Jones: June Gable stands on stage opposite Eve Arden, the lead actress in the show. June has just delivered Eve's cue, but the elderly Hollywood star is having trouble recalling her lines. Eve's eyes dart around the floor as if searching for a prompt. Eventually, she manages to stutter her line, but she fumbles her delivery, getting several words wrong. The director, John Roach, bounds onto stage and strides angrily over to June and Eve. He glares at the two actresses and says in a low and quaky voice, let's try that again, shall we? June returns to the wings and awaits her cue, stealing herself for what is shaping up to be another long and torturous rehearsal. When June's agent informed her she'd been offered a role in Arthur Bicknell's forthcoming Broadway play, the actress didn't hesitate to take it.

She'd read the script, and while it wasn't great, it had made her chuckle once or twice. She was also naturally drawn to the character she'd auditioned for, the failed nightclub singer Snooks Keane. More to the point, June needed the money. Since winning a Tony Award seven years ago for her performance in Candide on Broadway, June's career has stalled. So she ignored her misgivings about the script and accepted the offer. And at first, rehearsals went smoothly. Everyone in the cast was thrilled to be acting alongside the great Eve Arden. And the script seemed funny. At least it got big laughs from John and Arthur, who spent every rehearsal giggling maniacally. But as the actors began rehearsing without their scripts, it became clear that Eve Arden, the Hollywood talent at the heart of the show, was struggling.

In her 70s, Eve didn't have the sharpest power of recall. Making matters worse, Arthur's script demands that the cast sometimes all speak at once, creating an awful racket on stage, making it hard for Eve to concentrate on her lines. So while the actors prepare to run the scene for the 50th time today, June glances over at Arthur. The playwright is sitting in the front row, his foppish brown bangs covering his eyes. Over the past few days, Arthur has been growing more and more subdued as it becomes clear that his play is destined for disaster. June would feel sorry for the young writer, except she has her own career to worry about, and it's beginning to feel like she's aboard a sinking ship.

[13:25] Patrick Oliver Jones: Rehearsals continue over the next two weeks, but the situation only gets worse. Eve Arden's memory issues aren't improving, and as the first preview draws ever closer, relations between cast members become fractious and tense. Arguments break out on stage, and John is too inexperienced a director to control his actors. When June suggests some minor rewrites to Arthur, intended to make certain scenes more comprehensible, the playwright loses his top. He says that he's a serious artist and he won't allow any changes to be made to his script. One afternoon, following an especially disastrous run through, June approaches the producer Ricca. She begs her to postpone the first preview, insisting they need more time.

Erika just glares, hatchet jawed, barking, June, you are not producing this show, we are. So when the night of the first preview does come, just as June predicted, the show is a train wreck. The director wanted real water to rain down on set to create the effect of a stormy night in the Adirondacks, but the noise drowns out the cast's voices. None of the jokes land, and the actor's timing is all off. When they arrive at the final big twist, the point in the play when the murder is revealed, Eve makes a mess of her delivery, rendering the plot nonsensical. During the curtain call, the audience is silent. When June turns up to rehearsals the next day, she walks into the theater to find everybody sitting in solemn silence.

Apparently, following last night's preview, Eve Arden decided to quit the show, citing irreconcilable artistic differences. For June, the news comes as relief. Eve clearly wasn't the right person for the job. The remaining previews are delayed while John, Ricca, and Arthur look for a replacement to play the lead. Soon they settle on casting Holland Taylor, an actress who had originally auditioned unsuccessfully for a different role. Holland's arrival at rehearsals gives the production a new lease on life. She learns her lines overnight and is immediately off book. Holland isn't a household name like Eve Arden was, but she's a no-nonsense professional and she whips the rest of the cast into shape, something director John could never do.

They muddle through the remaining previews, and soon it's February 22nd, opening night. Waiting backstage for the lights to go down, June will wonder if they've done enough to save the show. If tonight's audience will laugh or hiss. And as the music swells and the final latecomers take their seats, June will experience a surge of optimism, feeling that perhaps, maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

[16:10] Patrick Oliver Jones: It's February 23rd, 1983, the morning after the opening night of Moose Murders. June Gable wakes to the sound of her telephone ringing. Droaning in protest, the actress rolls out of bed and stumbles across her messy New York City apartment. She yanks the rattling phone off the hook and croaks out a hello. June's head is pounding. Just moments earlier, she was tossing and turning, lost in a bad dream. But now, in the cold light of morning, June remembers everything that happened last night. As she recalls the disastrous performance, the after party at Sardi's, the brutal reviews on Channel 5, she realizes that she's been thrust back into the middle of a waking nightmare. Last night's show was a humiliating failure.

Because of the terrible previews, they struggled to sell tickets, so the balconies were completely empty. There were pockets of laughter coming from the seats which John and Arthur had managed to fill with their friends and relatives, but on the whole, the actors delivered their lines to silence. Following the show, the cast and crew went to Sardi's for the after party. They received roses and drank champagne, but the whole thing felt more like a funeral than a celebration. And then when the critics' responses started hitting the evening news, everyone left, and June was the first out the door. But now, as the horror of the past four weeks plays on repeat in her mind, June tries to concentrate on the voice on the other end of the phone line.

It's Ricca Cantor Fisher, producer of the play. In a defeated tone, she tells June that after long deliberations, they have decided to close the show. June feels both relieved and saddened by the news. Later that day, the actress heads to the Eugene O'Neill Theater to collect her belongings. In her dressing room, she notices the yellow rose which Ricca gave to her the previous night. Taped to the flower is a note saying, Here's to a long run at the Wild Moose Lodge. June just stares at it and crumples up the message and throws it into the trash. Following its disastrous one-night run, Moose Murders will be canceled. Though it won't be the only show in Broadway history to close after just one performance, Moose Murders will resonate through the years as the archetypical Broadway flop, the lowest possible benchmark against which any other new plays are measured.

In 2019, a cocktail will even be introduced in a bar in Manhattan's theater district. The so-called murdered moose will consist of sambuka and lime juice, garnished by a pearl onion. A disgusting concoction invented in honor of a play that was doomed to failure after its opening and closing night on February 22nd, 1983.

[18:54] Patrick Oliver Jones: Next on History Daily, February 23rd, 1820, an agent provocateur helps British police foil a plot to assassinate the Prime Minister and his entire cabinet. From Noiser and Airship, this is History Daily. Hosted, edited, and executive produced by me, Lindsay Graham. Audio editing by Lindsay Graham. Sound design by Misha Stanton. Music by Lindsay Graham. This episode is written and researched by Joe Viner. Produced by Alexandra Curry Buckner. Executive producers are Stephen Walters for Airship and Pascal Hughes for Noiser.