This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Host: Hi, listeners.

[0:01] Host: This show is an immersive audio experience intended for adult audiences.

[0:05] Host: Listener discretion is advised.

[0:16] Host: Gathered by the Ghost Light presents for a limited time only.

[0:20] Host: A romantic horror comedy by Daniel Prillaman.

[0:23] Host: Also known as the BREAD PLAY.

[0:25] Host: This is another episode that's part of our remastered series.

[0:29] Host: It originally released in our fourth season, and what you're going to hear today is a re-edited, remixed, and remastered version of this story.

[0:37] Host: You are about to meet a couple named Arlo and Val.

[0:41] Host: After getting the LIMITED Bread Deal at an Italian restaurant, they're both stuffed and ready for the check.

[0:46] Host: But their server doesn't bring them their check.

[0:49] Host: He brings them more bread.

[0:51] Host: He just keeps bringing them more bread.

[0:54] Host: He won't stop.

[0:55] Host: He won't ever stop.

[0:56] Host: You see, the bread is unlimited, and there is no escape.

[1:01] Host: Now, gather around the ghost light, sit back and enjoy.

[1:05] Host: This is for a limited time only, written by Daniel Prillaman.

[1:12] Val: Oh my god.

[1:14] Arlo: I am stuck too.

[1:19] Val: I literally don't feel like I can get up.

[1:22] Arlo: Well, start making room. We're gonna have to leave eventually.

[1:25] Val: You don't think they'll like just let us stay here indefinitely?

[1:29] Arlo: Nope. You can only do that at home.

[1:32] Val: We can dream.

[1:33] Arlo: Can we?

[1:34] Val: Oh yes. I long for the day when we can just sleep right in the restaurant.

[1:40] Arlo: I'm pretty sure you have to own the place to do that.

[1:43] Val: And even then, you sleep on a different floor, like above it.

[1:47] Arlo: Can you not crush my dreams for just a minute?

[1:51] Val: Nope. Besides, you can dream better dreams than just being able to sleep wherever you want.

[1:56] Arlo: Can I?

[1:57] Val: Shut up.

[1:57] Arlo: Love you.

[1:58] Val: I love you too.

[2:01] Arlo: Uh, can you handle that last piece of bread?

[2:04] Val: Because I don't know if I can.

[2:06] Arlo: Uh maybe.

[2:13] Val: I'll finish it. Maybe I'm wrong.

[2:15] Arlo: Well. Maybe I'm right.

[2:19] Val: It's like it's mocking us.

[2:22] Arlo: No. It's sneering.

[2:26] Val: Finish me.

[2:29] Arlo: Finish me.

[2:30] Val: I'm a limited.

[2:32] Arlo: Get your money's worth.

[2:35] Val: What are you doing?

[2:36] Arlo: I'm being the bread.

[2:37] Val: Why?

[2:39] Arlo: We're in public.

[2:41] Val: We're the only ones here.

[2:43] Arlo: Hey, what time do they close?

[2:44] Val: I don't know.

[2:46] Server: Hello again, folks. More bread?

[2:48] Val: Uh uh. Bit stuffed.

[2:51] Arlo: More than a bit.

[2:52] Server: You aren't about to close, are you?

[2:54] Server: Oh no, not at all. Looks like you two love birds have the place to yourselves. Relax as long as you want.

[3:00] Val: You hear that?

[3:01] Arlo: Uh, thanks. Um, we can probably go ahead and take care of the check, though.

[3:05] Server: You sure? No dessert? Coffee?

[3:07] Val: Thanks. No, no. Just the check is good.

[3:10] Server: Could not eat another bite. You want a doggy bag for the bread? Don't want to let it go to waste.

[3:15] Arlo: We've got a point.

[3:16] Val: Sure. That's fine.

[3:17] Server: Alright. Well, I'll just leave this fresh basket here while I go fetch that. Just in case you find a little more room in the meantime. Get your money's worth.

[3:25] Arlo: They get it. 5.99. It's a hell of a deal.

[3:31] Val: Hell of a deal.

[3:34] Arlo: Oh, we should not have eaten this much.

[3:37] Val: Probably not. The get your money's worth. That's how they get you.

[3:41] Arlo: Hell of a deal.

[3:43] Val: Hell of a deal. But it's gonna ruin the whole night.

[3:46] Arlo: Well, you're not having a good time.

[3:48] Val: No, no, I am. But it's all downhill from here.

[3:52] Arlo: We're both gonna feel bloated and sluggish the rest of the evening. We'll get home and plop down in front of the TV to watch the latest episode of something we'll only pay attention to halfway because you know the other half is on our phones.

[4:05] Val: We're not gonna have any energy to do anything else because we just ate our weight in carbs.

[4:10] Arlo: And uh you're also gonna use that as an excuse around 11 o'clock to say that you're too lazy to fuck me.

[4:17] Val: I'll say, well, you could just go down on me.

[4:21] Arlo: And you'll make a pun which I won't laugh at about how you're still too full from dinner, and we'll wind up masturbating next to each other looking at our preferred style of porn.

[4:30] Val: Lesbian BDSM for me, and foot shit for you.

[4:33] Arlo: Are you saying I don't go down on you enough?

[4:36] Val: Yes. But I'm also saying that I think unlimited bread deals cause more trouble than they're worth.

[4:43] Arlo: I am digesting that idea now and forming that opinion.

[4:47] Val: I can go down on you more.

[4:49] Arlo: I like it.

[4:50] Val: Do it.

[4:51] Arlo: Right now.

[4:52] Val: What?

[4:52] Arlo: There's nobody here.

[4:54] Val: Get under the table.

[4:55] Arlo: Um.

[4:56] Val: I'm kidding. I mean, if you want to, I won't stop you.

[5:01] Arlo: Well. You're too full from dinner.

[5:06] Val: Look, if this is a serious conversation, I want to take it seriously.

[5:11] Arlo: I'm kidding. It's okay if you're not.

[5:14] Val: You always say every joke has a little bit of truth.

[5:16] Arlo: I do say that. It's true.

[5:18] Val: You feel like I don't go down on you enough?

[5:20] Arlo: I said yes earlier.

[5:22] Val: You haven't gone down on me since.

[5:24] Arlo: I can't tell if you're messing with me or not.

[5:26] Val: When in doubt, eat me out.

[5:28] Arlo: Oh, that's a personal conversation.

[5:31] Server: Here is a to-go box for you, folks.

[5:33] Val: Thanks.

[5:34] Server: I hope I'm not overstepping my place, but I have to agree. If one partner is not pulling their weight downtown.

[5:40] Arlo: Oh, okay. Uh, where's the check?

[5:43] Server: Hmm?

[5:44] Arlo: The check?

[5:44] Server: You want the check.

[5:46] Arlo: We asked for the check.

[5:47] Server: You asked for the check?

[5:48] Val: We did.

[5:48] Server: Oh my god, you did. I'm so sorry. Forgive me. I'll go get that right now. Be back in a jiff.

[5:55] Server: If it's that big a problem, I wanna fix it, you know?

[5:59] Val: We definitely asked for the check.

[6:01] Arlo: What?

[6:02] Val: Oh, yeah. More than once.

[6:05] Arlo: Cut them some slack, honey. It's a stressful job. They just forget. It happens.

[6:10] Val: We're the only ones here.

[6:11] Arlo: Yeah, but it's the end of a long day. They've been on their feet. A bunch of other people also probably took advantage of the bread deal. It happens.

[6:19] Val: Yeah. Still annoying.

[6:22] Arlo: Fair enough.

[6:24] Val: So, what do you want to do tonight?

[6:26] Arlo: I mean, I can't. I want you to fucking go down on me.

[6:29] Val: Totally. I'm in. 100%.

[6:31] Arlo: Then maybe more bake off?

[6:34] Val: Accents.

[6:35] Arlo: See, there's a good bake on this. Golden brown. Looks a bit half eaten though. Did you eat this before you brought it up here?

[6:42] Val: Uh, I did.

[6:43] Arlo: Why would you do that?

[6:44] Val: It looked good.

[6:45] Arlo: I'm sorry.

[6:46] Val: You should be.

[6:48] Arlo: Hmm.

[6:50] Val: Hmm.

[6:51] Arlo: I don't like it.

[6:53] Val: I love it.

[6:54] Arlo: Thank God. You're Star Baker.

[6:56] Val: Oh, thank God. I'm going to call him my mum.

[7:03] Arlo: Oh my god, why did I eat that? Why did you let me do that?

[7:07] Val: It was for the bit.

[7:08] Arlo: Oh, why do you let me do things for comedy that I wouldn't do otherwise?

[7:12] Val: I don't know. I feel like I do a lot of things for comedy that I wouldn't do otherwise.

[7:17] Arlo: Ugh, what is taking so long?

[7:20] Val: I'm having a good time.

[7:21] Arlo: I am too. I just don't like waiting.

[7:24] Val: They said to relax.

[7:28] Arlo: Is it just me or is this place more creepy than romantic?

[7:33] Val: With no one else here? It's lots of space for activities.

[7:37] Arlo: I'm just ready to go home.

[7:38] Server: Hey folks, little bit of bad news. I'm so sorry.

[7:41] Val: What is?

[7:42] Server: We are actually having a little bit of a problem with our computer right now.

[7:46] Arlo: Oh no.

[7:47] Server: I am so sorry, but your check is going to take just a little bit longer. I'm so sorry.

[7:52] Val: That's okay. It happens.

[7:53] Arlo: Why'd you bring more bread?

[7:55] Server: Hmm. You're holding more bread. Why?

[7:57] Server: Oh, uh, for you as an offer of apology.

[8:01] Val: Oh, that's uh you really really don't have to.

[8:04] Server: It's already made. No trouble.

[8:06] Val: We really couldn't eat another bite.

[8:08] Server: If you don't, it's going to go to waste.

[8:12] Arlo: Well, we'll eat it later, if we don't now.

[8:15] Server: Okay, great. Well, I'll go check in that check for you. Again, I am so sorry.

[8:20] Val: Uh-huh. Okay, that interaction was a little more strangely pointed.

[8:26] Arlo: Are they fucking with us?

[8:27] Val: No. I think they're fucking with us.

[8:29] Arlo: If their computer's broken, they literally can't do anything though.

[8:33] Val: I mean, is their computer broken?

[8:35] Arlo: Val. I'm just asking, is it?

[8:37] Val: We don't know. There's no one else here. Maybe this is how they get their kicks.

[8:42] Arlo: I highly doubt that's the actual case.

[8:44] Val: They could do the check by hand. Computers just make things faster.

[8:48] Arlo: Well, when they come back, we can ask them that.

[8:51] Val: You have any cash on you?

[8:52] Arlo: Uh yeah, I have enough.

[8:55] Val: We can ask them when they come back.

[8:57] Arlo: Uh, okay, thank you. I'm having a good night.

[9:01] Val: I am too. I'm just um I'm ready to be out of here, you know?

[9:07] Arlo: Yeah. Ready to be home.

[9:10] Val: Yeah, I understand.

[9:11] Arlo: Okay. Thank you. I love you.

[9:14] Val: I love you too.

[9:16] Arlo: What do you want to do with the bread?

[9:18] Val: Is there room in the box?

[9:19] Arlo: Uh not really.

[9:21] Val: Then we'll just leave it.

[9:23] Arlo: Yeah. It's clearly not our fault if it doesn't get eaten.

[9:27] Val: Yeah. We've made it clear we're full.

[9:29] Arlo: I know. It's not on us.

[9:32] Server: I am so sorry, folks. Computer is still in the fritz, but I have more bread.

[9:37] Val: What the fuck? Why?

[9:38] Arlo: Why do you keep bringing us bread?

[9:41] Server: You ordered the unlimited bread deal, silly. 5.99.

[9:44] Val: Yes, but we're done eating.

[9:46] Arlo: We're clearly done eating.

[9:48] Server: If you don't, it will go to waste.

[9:52] Val: We don't care.

[9:53] Arlo: Val, come on. Bring us our check, please.

[9:55] Server: I would if I could. I am so sorry.

[9:58] Val: Then write it by hand. We'll pay with cash.

[10:01] Server: I can't do that either. I'm so sorry.

[10:03] Val: Why not?

[10:05] Server: Because I can't bring you your check until you finish the bread.

[10:09] Arlo: What?

[10:09] Server: If you want your check, eat the bread.

[10:12] Server: Looks like you two are still working, so I'll give you some more time. Just holler if you need anything.

[10:20] Val: Uh fuck this.

[10:23] Arlo: I don't know what's going on, but I am not staying here another minute.

[10:27] Val: Come on.

[10:28] Val: Okay, yeah, yeah. This is this is weird. Fucking leave the Chago box! Just come on! It's gonna go to waste. Hurlo! Right, yep. Sorry. This is ridiculous. Why the fuck did we even come here? What the hell? What? Where's the door? What? Where is the fucking door? What the hell? Where is the fucking door? We came in from there. Yeah, we did. Where's the what the fuck is going on? The door's gone. Yeah, I can see that. What the fuck? What the hell the fuck the shit? What the fuck? There are no fucking windows in this place. No windows! No doors. Oh my god. Where did every way out of here fucking go? Can we get out through the kitchen? We're about to find out.

[11:14] Server: I am so sorry, folks. Only employees are allowed into the kitchen.

[11:20] Arlo: What the fuck is going on? Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Can you tone down your language? The other customers!

[11:27] Val: Like fuck! There's nobody else here. Is there?

[11:30] Arlo: I'm just kidding. No, there isn't. But what is it you say, Val? Every joke is a bit of truth. Let us out of here. Right now.

[11:39] Server: I'm afraid I can't do that. Not until you both eat your bread.

[11:44] Val: We're not eating any more fucking bread.

[11:46] Server: Ma'am, again, please tone down your language. I don't want to have to ask you again.

[11:50] Val: Or what?

[11:53] Server: Hey, hey. Or I'll cut down your tongue, Val.

[11:57] Arlo: Please put her down. That would make it much more difficult to eat the bread.

[12:04] Val: Uh please. We just want to go home.

[12:08] Server: You better start eating then.

[12:16] Server: Have you heard about the new unlimited bread deal?

[12:19] Val: Sounds expensive.

[12:20] Server: It's only $5.99.

[12:22] Val: $5.99.

[12:23] Server: $5.99.

[12:24] Val: Oh, fuck yeah.

[12:25] Server: That's right. Unlimited bread. Unlimited. Here at the Italian Garden Factory, we give you all you can eat. Think we'll stop giving you bread like all those other restaurants? Hell no. For just $5.99, get unlimited bread with your meal. It's a hell of a deal. Hell of a deal. How I mean the Italian Garden Factory. When you're here, you're eating bread. So come on down and join us. We'd love to put a smile on your face.

[12:55] Val: Oh god. Come on. Uh oh we got I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm not gonna try it. And here is some more bread for you. You folks doing okay? You need any more Diet Coke?

[13:14] Arlo: Oh, be careful. You don't want to have to eat it again if it comes off. Tastes a lot worse the second time.

[13:20] Val: Why are you doing this?

[13:22] Server: You ordered the unlimited bread deal. What do you think the word unlimited means? It means limitless, dear. Infinite.

[13:31] Val: Then how are we ever supposed to eat all of it?

[13:35] Server: I'll be back with some more in a little bit. Enjoy.

[13:38] Arlo: We can't keep doing this. We'll burst. Should we try and call someone again?

[13:46] Val: Did you suddenly get a signal?

[13:48] Arlo: No.

[13:49] Val: Then no. What do we do?

[13:52] Arlo: Okay. When he comes back, you distract him.

[13:56] Val: How?

[13:57] Arlo: I don't know. It doesn't matter. Just get him facing back toward the kitchen.

[14:01] Val: Why?

[14:01] Arlo: So I stab him from the back instead of the front.

[14:05] Val: What?

[14:05] Arlo: It's a bread knife. But it should do enough to give us time to run.

[14:09] Val: You're talking about killing him?

[14:11] Arlo: Wounding. At best, probably.

[14:12] Val: How?

[14:13] Arlo: What other choice do we have? That's that's what? That's uh violence.

[14:19] Val: Are you really debating ethics in this situation? Of all situations.

[14:26] Arlo: No, I don't believe in violence. I'm a pacifist.

[14:29] Val: Oh, then you should be fine, since I'm the one doing the stabbing.

[14:32] Arlo: Val! Everything okay out here?

[14:34] Val: Yep. Yep. Okay. Should be back with some more bread in just a bit.

[14:39] Arlo: Look. If you have any other suggestions, I'm all ears. But drastic and existentially surreal situations call for drastic measures. Do you want to get home or not, Arlo?

[14:54] Arlo: Okay. Okay. Okay. What what do I say?

[14:58] Val: Whatever you have to.

[14:59] Arlo: Okay, here he comes. Let's do this.

[15:02] Server: And here's some more. I do hope you two love birds are enjoying your evening.

[15:06] Val: We are so much.

[15:09] Server: Well, that's just great to hear. That's great to hear that you think that's great to hear.

[15:14] Val: Are you okay?

[15:15] Server: Uh yeah, yeah. I'm I'm fine. Uh uh actually, I wanted to ask you a favor.

[15:23] Server: Anything. I'm here to serve. What can I do for you?

[15:26] Val: I was just wondering. We've had so much bread, you know?

[15:30] Server: I do.

[15:31] Val: And it's it's it's been great. Our bakers are the best. But I kinda wanna mix it up as a surprise from my partner.

[15:40] Server: Oh, how sweet. Everything okay, Val?

[15:44] Val: Um, yep. Great. Um, you were saying um, yeah. Could I order a dessert?

[15:51] Server: Oh, that is so sweet. Unfortunately, our kitchen is closed right now.

[15:53] Val: What?

[15:53] Server: Our kitchen is closed.

[16:00] Val: But but my god. Come on! Arlo! The kitchen's closed. Where's the bread coming from?

[16:09] Arlo: No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. Fuck! No! No!

[16:16] Val: It's just a brick wall. This kitchen! It's the size of a closet! What the fuck is going on?

[16:24] Arlo: Hey, dreaming. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming this is just a bad dream. This is just a bad fucking dream.

[16:30] Val: You're not dreaming.

[16:32] Arlo: Oh my god. If you were dreaming, we would have eaten all this bread by now.

[16:38] Val: Oh, Arlo. I did warn you. I'll go get you something to scoop it up.

[16:43] Server: Fuck. And a mint.

[16:45] Val: Oh, Arlo! What the actual fucker you can't do right now?

[16:57] Arlo: Should we try and call someone again?

[16:59] Val: There's no signal. Can't you still call 911 even though you don't have service?

[17:04] Arlo: You have to at least have a signal.

[17:07] Val: No signal means nothing, you dumb fuck.

[17:11] Arlo: Hey.

[17:21] Val: Hey. Are you okay?

[17:25] Arlo: I have to poop.

[17:26] Val: Unpoop.

[17:27] Arlo: Where?

[17:28] Val: I don't know. Pick a corner.

[17:31] Arlo: Uh what? What if they make me eat it?

[17:39] Val: How many days has it been?

[17:41] Arlo: I lost count. You think anyone's looking for us?

[17:44] Val: Definitely. People notice when people just disappear.

[17:50] Arlo: Do they?

[17:51] Val: Yeah. They're not gonna find us.

[17:53] Arlo: Don't say that.

[17:54] Val: It's true. I'm sorry I called you a dumb fuck the other week. Or however long ago it was.

[18:02] Arlo: Um It's okay. Hey. Gonna be okay.

[18:09] Val: How?

[18:10] Arlo: I don't know. But it is.

[18:14] Server: Hey, folks, here's some more bread.

[18:34] Val: What?

[18:39] Arlo: What? Val.

[18:42] Val: The cat's probably dead.

[18:51] Server: Good morning, you two. You're sure you don't want any more diet coke?

[18:56] Val: I want you to die the most painful death mankind could ever conceive.

[19:05] Server: Okay, well, there's no need to be rude, ma'am. I don't make enough to put up with your attitude.

[19:10] Val: You son of a bitch! I'm gonna fucking kill you!

[19:14] Server: Hey! You didn't have to do that!

[19:17] Arlo: Did you want to refill? Is she okay? Or ignore the question. That's fine too. Fuck me, right?

[19:23] Val: Is Arlo okay? Who got fired first? Me or you?

[19:32] Arlo: Definitely me.

[19:35] Val: Yeah. Your job likes you more than my job likes me.

[19:39] Arlo: Liked. Um. Uh, we should start working out.

[19:43] Val: What?

[19:43] Arlo: All these carbs. Try to slow the weight gain.

[19:48] Val: Right. You think we could order other food as time goes by?

[19:53] Arlo: Will we really do that? When the kitchen is open, yes. But it will be added to your bill.

[19:59] Val: Where do you come from?

[20:04] Server: One. Two. Three. Four.

[20:06] Val: No. Oh my god, Val, are you okay?

[20:11] Arlo: Hey. Hey. Hey. It's okay. It was just a dream. It was just a bad dream.

[20:17] Val: I I dreamt we were in this restaurant and they wouldn't stop bringing us bread and and fuck.

[20:25] Arlo: Oh god damn it.

[20:27] Val: Yeah. Okay. Still want me to go down on you?

[20:31] Arlo: Right now? What else are we ever going to do? I mean, fuck ya.

[20:36] Val: Oh. Oh my god.

[20:42] Arlo: Oh my god, I love you.

[20:46] Val: I love you too.

[20:48] Arlo: Are you crying?

[20:51] Val: You don't taste like bread.

[21:02] Val: Hey, where'd you learn to spend me like that?

[21:05] Arlo: Watch when this happened.

[21:06] Val: Watch the chair.

[21:08] Arlo: Oh my god.

[21:12] Val: Oh this is fun.

[21:14] Arlo: You're surprisingly good.

[21:16] Val: You know, I forget how long it's been since I've danced.

[21:19] Arlo: Maybe the wedding?

[21:20] Val: Maybe the wedding, yeah.

[21:23] Arlo: I don't get it.

[21:24] Val: What?

[21:25] Arlo: What is this?

[21:27] Val: Are we dead?

[21:29] Arlo: Is this purgatory?

[21:32] Val: Is it hell?

[21:33] Arlo: It can't be.

[21:35] Val: If this was hell, we wouldn't be together.

[21:38] Arlo: Sure you would.

[21:43] Val: Your beard is starting to get really big.

[21:47] Arlo: You think?

[21:48] Val: Mm-hmm.

[21:49] Arlo: Too big.

[21:49] Val: Aw.

[21:50] Arlo: I kinda like it.

[21:51] Val: I do too, but moderation, you know.

[21:56] Arlo: We should figure out a way to shave.

[21:58] Val: We?

[21:59] Arlo: Your face ain't the only beard getting big.

[22:02] Val: What?

[22:04] Arlo: Ooh.

[22:06] Val: Uh-huh.

[22:07] Arlo: Yeah.

[22:13] Val: They're not gonna sing, are they?

[22:15] Arlo: God, I hope not.

[22:17] Val: Fucking hate it when he sings.

[22:19] Arlo: Is that is that a cake?

[22:21] Val: He lit a candle on a breadstick.

[22:25] Arlo: Fuck me.

[22:26] Val: Son of a bitch.

[22:27] Server: Happy happy birthday from all the breads of you.

[22:30] Server: Happy happy birthday.

[22:31] Server: May your wishes all come true.

[22:32] Server: Hey, happy happy birthday from all the breads of you.

[22:35] Server: Happy happy birthday, may you doing great, pal.

[22:47] Val: You're doing amazing.

[22:49] Arlo: I know I am!

[22:51] Val: Hold my hand tighter!

[22:53] Arlo: Okay, let's get this bun out of the oven.

[22:56] Val: One more big push for me, okay.

[22:59] Arlo: Fuck yeah.

[23:05] Server: Congratulations!

[23:07] Server: It's a girl!

[23:08] Val: Oh my god.

[23:15] Arlo: Of course.

[23:21] Val: Okay.

[23:22] Val: I think she's asleep.

[23:25] Arlo: What?

[23:26] Val: I had a dream last night.

[23:28] Arlo: Bad?

[23:29] Val: No.

[23:30] Val: I mean, I guess it wasn't a nightmare, I guess.

[23:34] Arlo: You want to tell me about it?

[23:36] Val: Yeah.

[23:37] Val: We were here.

[23:38] Arlo: Still.

[23:40] Val: This place.

[23:42] Val: We had gotten old, like really old.

[23:45] Arlo: Ancient.

[23:46] Val: Shouldn't have been alive, kind of old.

[23:50] Arlo: We couldn't move by ourselves.

[23:52] Val: The server was feeding us the bread like babies.

[23:56] Arlo: Little airplane noises.

[23:58] Val: Uh-huh.

[23:58] Arlo: That's a comforting thought.

[24:02] Val: But we were happy though.

[24:04] Arlo: Content.

[24:06] Val: I could tell.

[24:08] Arlo: You were at peace.

[24:11] Val: I don't know how, but we were.

[24:14] Arlo: What about the baby?

[24:16] Val: I didn't see her.

[24:19] Arlo: This is all my fault.

[24:21] Val: What?

[24:22] Arlo: It's my fault.

[24:23] Val: No.

[24:24] Arlo: No, it is.

[24:26] Val: You wanted to go to Olive Garden.

[24:28] Arlo: I said no.

[24:29] Val: All their food is frozen.

[24:30] Arlo: Let's go to the Italian garden factory.

[24:34] Val: Arlo.

[24:35] Arlo: It's my fault.

[24:36] Val: Arlo, this is not your fault.

[24:40] Arlo: Whatever this is, there is no possible way you did it.

[24:47] Val: I don't know what's gonna happen next.

[24:50] Arlo: Neither do I.

[24:52] Val: But we'll get through it together.

[24:54] Arlo: Okay.

[24:55] Val: Okay?

[24:56] Arlo: Sorry.

[24:57] Val: Don't be sorry.

[24:59] Arlo: But I am sorry.

[25:00] Val: Don't be.

[25:01] Arlo: Don't say that.

[25:04] Val: We're trapped in some parallel bread world.

[25:08] Arlo: Like fuck being sorry.

[25:10] Val: Fuck fuck feeling bad.

[25:12] Arlo: Fuck blame.

[25:14] Val: Fuck.

[25:15] Arlo: Fuck bread.

[25:17] Val: I can't.

[25:20] Arlo: You can't put words to.

[25:24] Val: You know what? If this is our life now, so goddamn be it. If we're gonna grow old and ancient as fuck in this claustrophobic tacky ass wallpaper excuse for a dining room, eating basket after basket of bread that isn't Texas Roadhouse, no matter how hard you wish it was. If our if our arteries fucking turn black and carbonate because of all the diet coke, we never see our families again, or hold our loved ones. If this is our life now, I'm not gonna live it any less than the fucking fullest I can.

[26:04] Arlo: We deserve that.

[26:06] Val: Okay?

[26:07] Arlo: Don't be sorry.

[26:09] Val: Don't give them that.

[26:12] Server: Hey there, folks. Here's some more bread for you.

[26:15] Val: Thank you.

[26:16] Server: How are we doing with everything?

[26:18] Arlo: Good.

[26:19] Server: Well, that's great to hear.

[26:22] Server: What's with the chair?

[26:23] Server: To be perfectly honest, I've been in my feet for a while now. I just wanted to sit while we talked.

[26:29] Val: Talked about what?

[26:30] Server: Something has come up.

[26:32] Val: What?

[26:33] Server: As you're both aware you had a child. Congratulations again, Masotov.

[26:37] Arlo: Thanks.

[26:37] Val: Thanks.

[26:38] Server: And therein lies the root of our talk. If you recall, you both ordered two unlimited bread deals.

[26:44] Arlo: Yes.

[26:45] Server: Well, now there are three of you.

[26:48] Val: Does that what are you saying?

[26:52] Server: It's time for one of you to go.

[26:54] Val: You can't have three people taking advantage of two unlimited bread deals.

[26:58] Server: Do you know how much trouble I will get in if I let that happen?

[27:02] Arlo: You mean go like lord?

[27:05] Server: No, no one's going to slit your throat with a bread knife.

[27:09] Server: Go.

[27:09] Val: You mean just go?

[27:11] Server: Yes.

[27:12] Val: Go?

[27:13] Server: Go, leave the part of the establishment.

[27:16] Val: Go is the simplest phrase. I thought it would be clear.

[27:21] Server: Just go.

[27:23] Val: Yes, one of you needs to leave this restaurant now.

[27:27] Server: Don't look at me with those faces on your faces. Nothing lasts forever, dears. This shouldn't be a shock to you. Well, except for bread, of course. But everything else. I'll give you a couple of minutes to decide.

[27:44] Arlo: You should go.

[27:45] Val: You don't deserve to be.

[27:47] Arlo: Neither do you.

[27:48] Val: Look me in the eyes and tell me you would handle whatever the rest of this is better than I will.

[27:53] Arlo: I take offense at that.

[27:55] Val: That's exactly why you should be the one to go.

[27:57] Arlo: Oh yeah? Well, I I don't know what to say in response to that. But I'm not leaving. So I guess you better get used to the idea.

[28:07] Val: Arlo.

[28:08] Arlo: Because I'm not leaving. And if you're not leaving, then that only leaves.

[28:12] Val: We can't.

[28:13] Arlo: What if she was taken care of?

[28:15] Val: She would never know us.

[28:17] Arlo: But it would give her a life outside of whatever this is.

[28:22] Val: Is it the most ethical option to Are you really debating ethics in this situation?

[28:26] Arlo: When else are we supposed to?

[28:29] Val: I mean, it's either that, or we—

[28:32] Arlo: What?

[28:34] Val: We order a third.

[28:35] Arlo: What?

[28:37] Val: We order a third bread deal.

[28:37] Arlo: And we all stay together.

[28:42] Val: Ethically, I I know it's. I guess it's just as murky, but I don't know.

[28:47] Arlo: What do you think?

[28:48] Val: Do you remember when we first moved in together?

[28:51] Arlo: Of course.

[28:52] Val: I had gotten that job at the hardware store.

[28:55] Arlo: And I was working all those hours while you were still at home every day looking for places to apply.

[29:01] Val: A lot of good that English degree did me.

[29:04] Arlo: That was the first time we really spent a lot of time apart.

[29:08] Val: Yeah.

[29:09] Arlo: I missed you.

[29:10] Val: I missed you.

[29:13] Arlo: I remember thinking every morning you walked out the door. My god, what if that was the last time we ever spoke to each other?

[29:21] Val: If some horrible accident happens.

[29:24] Arlo: What if I lose her?

[29:26] Val: I mean, that's a little dramatic.

[29:28] Arlo: I can't bear the thought of being without you.

[29:32] Val: I love you too.

[29:35] Arlo: Hell of a deal.

[29:36] Val: Hell of a deal.

[29:39] Server: Alright, have you two decided? Or do you need a few more minutes?

[29:41] Val: Nah.

[29:44] Arlo: I think we're ready.

[29:45] Server: Great! What will it be?

[30:00] Host: That was for a limited time only, written by Daniel Prillaman, starring Roshelle Simpson as Val, John D. Nelson as Arlo, Valentin Angel Fernandez as the server, and Jonathan Cook and Jacquie Floyd as the commercial announcers. Directed by Jonathan Cook. Sound Design and Editing by Jonathan Cook. Title Music by JK/47 with additional featured music by Josh Tarp. Cover art by A. C. Daniel. This program is funded in part by the South Carolina Arts Commission, which receives support from the National Endowment for the Arts.

[30:30] Host: Thank you all for listening. And if you enjoy what we do, go out there and do all the things. Subscribe to our channel, like and comment on our social media posts, and you can also rate this podcast on your favorite platform. And as always, stay safe. We'll see you next time we gather by the ghost light.

[30:52] ♪ Musical number ♪

[31:19] Host: I mean it literally like just stopped. It literally just played the whole thing like a minute ago.