This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Jonathan Cook: Hi, listeners.

[0:01] Devon McSherry: STAGE FRIGHTS is a Gather by the Ghost Light production and an immersive audio experience intended for adult audiences.

[0:08] Jonathan Cook: Immerse yourself.

[0:10] Devon McSherry: And enjoy.

[0:12] Jonathan Cook: Previously on STAGE FRIGHTS.

[0:15] Devon McSherry: So on today's episode, we'll be performing a sacrifice.

[0:22] Unknown speaker: Intruders!

[0:23] Unknown speaker: Ow!

[0:24] Unknown speaker: Get the axe!

[0:25] Unknown speaker: We're not intruders.

[0:26] Unknown speaker: This is our show.

[0:27] Jonathan Cook: Well, our plan was to perform a sacrifice on tonight's show, and we were going to choose from one of these rascals.

[0:34] Devon McSherry: You need to perform a sacrifice, and we need to perform a show.

[0:37] Jonathan Cook: So, what if you all stick around and we use these sacrificial candidates here as the performers in our show?

[0:45] Devon McSherry: What a great idea.

[0:47] Jonathan Cook: Perfect.

[0:58] Devon McSherry: It's working.

[0:59] Jonathan Cook: Just like with the last play, he let these actors go free too.

[1:02] Devon McSherry: Yeah, yeah, let's keep this going.

[1:04] Jonathan Cook: Okay, uh, what story do you think we should do next?

[1:06] Devon McSherry: Uh, we still have the zombie one, or there's also the eerie jogger story.

[1:10] Jonathan Cook: Oh, wait a minute!

[1:11] Devon McSherry: How about this one?

[1:12] Jonathan Cook: A queer horror comedy by John Bavoso.

[1:15] Devon McSherry: Ooh, good choice.

[1:17] Jonathan Cook: Okay, Doc, I think we're all set.

[1:19] Devon McSherry: We're gonna need four actors for this next story.

[1:22] Jonathan Cook: Who would you suggest?

[1:23] Unknown speaker: Hmm.

[1:24] Devon McSherry: What's the next one about?

[1:26] Jonathan Cook: On a dark and stormy night.

[1:28] Devon McSherry: Oh, wait, I have something for this.

[1:36] Jonathan Cook: On a dark and stormy night.

[1:38] Devon McSherry: A writer is confronted by two characters from his novels.

[1:42] Jonathan Cook: Two characters he killed off who want revenge.

[1:46] Devon McSherry: Ooh, I can't wait to hear this one.

[1:49] Jonathan Cook: How about you, you, and uh you?

[1:52] Devon McSherry: And you there with the uh twisty hair.

[1:55] Unknown speaker: Are you trying to say curly?

[1:57] Jonathan Cook: Come on, come on, we don't have much time.

[1:59] Devon McSherry: And here are your scripts.

[2:01] Jonathan Cook: And uh, your name, please.

[2:02] Robb Smith: Robb Smith.

[2:03] Jonathan Cook: You know, from the podcast Chewing the Fat with Big Rob?

[2:06] Robb Smith: Sure.

[2:06] Jonathan Cook: You'll be playing the novelist, Carter Hayes.

[2:09] Robb Smith: What a novel idea.

[2:10] Jonathan Cook: See what I did?

[2:11] Devon McSherry: You sure he's not a podcaster though?

[2:13] Robb Smith: Because I'm a podcaster.

[2:14] Unknown speaker: Aren't we all?

[2:15] Jonathan Cook: And uh, how about you?

[2:16] Devon McSherry: Your name?

[2:17] Wesley Pierson: Uh, Wesley Pierson?

[2:19] Jonathan Cook: You're gonna be playing Jack.

[2:21] Wesley Pierson: What's he like?

[2:22] Jonathan Cook: He's darkly fabulous.

[2:24] Wesley Pierson: Ooh, I'm down.

[2:26] Jonathan Cook: And you with the uh the the twisty hair.

[2:29] Pepper Wren: My name is Pepper Wren.

[2:32] Jonathan Cook: Okay, you're gonna be playing Lexa.

[2:33] Pepper Wren: And who is she?

[2:35] Jonathan Cook: She's wily and menacing.

[2:38] Pepper Wren: My kind of gal.

[2:39] Jonathan Cook: And you are?

[2:40] Mac Kridel: Oh, uh, Mac Kridel.

[2:41] Jonathan Cook: Okay, you're gonna be playing Oscar.

[2:43] Mac Kridel: What's Oscar like?

[2:45] Jonathan Cook: Nah, uh-uh. No spoilers.

[2:46] Mac Kridel: He'll be a mystery for now.

[2:49] Devon McSherry: Ooh, how exciting.

[2:51] Jonathan Cook: Everyone ready?

[2:52] Devon McSherry: Action or whatever.

[2:53] Jonathan Cook: You have the little clicker thingy?

[2:55] Unknown speaker: Where's the camera?

[2:56] Jonathan Cook: A storm rages outside as novelist Carter Hayes speaks on the phone with his spouse.

[3:01] Devon McSherry: A thunderstrike makes the lights hauntingly flicker.

[3:07] Jonathan Cook: Now, gather round the ghost light, sit back and enjoy.

[3:10] Devon McSherry: This is Unburied.

[3:12] Jonathan Cook: Written by John Bavoso.

[3:22] Carter Hayes: Sweetheart, hi.

[3:24] Carter Hayes: While you're out, do you think you could stop by the liquor store?

[3:27] Carter Hayes: I'm running low on single malt.

[3:30] Carter Hayes: Yes, I see it's raining.

[3:32] Carter Hayes: But you're already out, are you not?

[3:34] Carter Hayes: What's the worst that can happen?

[3:36] Carter Hayes: You get wetter?

[3:38] Carter Hayes: Perfect.

[3:39] Carter Hayes: No, I turned the porch light out.

[3:41] Carter Hayes: Not interested in distractions tonight.

[3:43] Carter Hayes: Get home safe.

[3:44] Carter Hayes: Love you.

[3:45] Carter Hayes: Bye.

[3:57] Unknown speaker: Seriously.

[3:58] Unknown speaker: A power outage during a stormy Halloween night.

[4:02] Unknown speaker: You may be omniscient, but you're a real hack writer.

[4:06] Unknown speaker: Hello?

[4:07] Unknown speaker: Sweetheart?

[4:09] Unknown speaker: You Carter.

[4:11] Unknown speaker: Who the hell are you?

[4:12] Unknown speaker: We will get to that in due time, Carter.

[4:15] Unknown speaker: Why don't you take a seat?

[4:17] Carter Hayes: How did you get in here?

[4:18] Unknown speaker: It wasn't hard.

[4:19] Unknown speaker: We know every inch of this place.

[4:21] Unknown speaker: We were born here after all.

[4:23] Carter Hayes: That's not you, we own this house.

[4:25] Unknown speaker: Today is a day for the impossible.

[4:27] Unknown speaker: For the tables to turn.

[4:29] Carter Hayes: Look, my wallet's upstairs.

[4:30] Carter Hayes: Let me run grab it for you.

[4:32] Unknown speaker: What would we do with money?

[4:34] Unknown speaker: Besides, we know better than to come to a writer for cash, even when as successful as you.

[4:39] Unknown speaker: We're dead, not brain dead.

[4:42] Unknown speaker: Did you just say you're just a bit of foreshadowing?

[4:45] Unknown speaker: You're familiar with the concept?

[4:47] Carter Hayes: I don't know who you people are.

[4:49] Unknown speaker: Oh, you know us.

[4:50] Unknown speaker: Better than anyone in the world.

[4:52] Carter Hayes: I really think you have me confused with someone else.

[4:55] Unknown speaker: You're the one who's not getting it.

[4:58] Unknown speaker: What do you think?

[4:59] Unknown speaker: Is it time for some exposition?

[5:02] Carter Hayes: I guess.

[5:04] Unknown speaker: It's just so disappointing when you've got to spell every little thing out for your audience.

[5:10] Unknown speaker: Let's see if any of this jogs your memory.

[5:13] Unknown speaker: Imagine me, once the picture of health and reckless vitality.

[5:18] Unknown speaker: Now wasting away in a hospital bed.

[5:22] Unknown speaker: Pitiful and dying.

[5:25] Unknown speaker: Forsaken by the world.

[5:27] Unknown speaker: Punishment for my promiscuity and humanity.

[5:31] Unknown speaker: My death will one day inspire some niece or nephew, the only member of my family who has not shunned me to go out and live boldly, but also be afraid of sexual intercourse.

[5:43] Unknown speaker: It's your turn, dear.

[5:45] Unknown speaker: Oh, and your head wound is leaking again.

[5:49] Unknown speaker: Takes one to know one.

[5:51] Unknown speaker: It's the not too distant future, and the sexual tension between me and my female best friend has been building for years.

[5:59] Unknown speaker: Until one night, we finally let go and find transcendent ecstasy in each other's arms.

[6:07] Unknown speaker: But the next morning, I go out to get coffee and wham!

[6:11] Unknown speaker: Hit by a bus, which is apparently a thing they still have in the future.

[6:17] Unknown speaker: My death will shatter our heroine's heart and drive her into the open arms of the male protagonist with whom she was always meant to be.

[6:27] Unknown speaker: Jack and Lexa?

[6:30] Unknown speaker: Ding ding ding.

[6:31] Unknown speaker: Daddy, we've come home.

[6:33] Unknown speaker: And we brought knives.

[6:35] Carter Hayes: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[6:36] Carter Hayes: Now hold on.

[6:38] Unknown speaker: Cosplay is one thing.

[6:39] Unknown speaker: This is taking it way too far.

[6:41] Unknown speaker: This is my home.

[6:42] Unknown speaker: We know it was a very formative space for us.

[6:45] Unknown speaker: And these aren't costumes.

[6:47] Unknown speaker: We're as real as you are.

[6:50] Carter Hayes: That's not possible.

[6:52] Carter Hayes: I made you up.

[6:53] Unknown speaker: And now we've got lives of our own.

[6:55] Unknown speaker: And agency.

[6:56] Unknown speaker: Welcome to parenthood.

[6:58] Carter Hayes: If you really believe you are who you say you are, prove it.

[7:03] Unknown speaker: Is the head wound gushing onto your carpet not enough for you?

[7:06] Carter Hayes: I believe you're human.

[7:08] Carter Hayes: You're corporeal beings, obviously.

[7:11] Carter Hayes: But I absolutely do not believe your fictional characters come to life.

[7:16] Carter Hayes: And while I appreciate the fandom or whatever, I'm going to be calling the cops now.

[7:22] Unknown speaker: I see we're going to have to do the whole song and dance.

[7:25] Unknown speaker: Go ahead.

[7:26] Unknown speaker: Give him the old razzle dazzle.

[7:28] Unknown speaker: In the first draft, I was actually a dude.

[7:31] Unknown speaker: Philip was my name, I believe.

[7:33] Unknown speaker: But a boring old opposite sex romance would never generate the kind of buzz that the second installment of a trilogy desperately needs.

[7:41] Carter Hayes: How do you... I never showed anyone that draft except my editor?

[7:45] Carter Hayes: Wait.

[7:46] Carter Hayes: Did Richard put you up to this?

[7:48] Unknown speaker: Richard, you can come out now.

[7:50] Unknown speaker: You asshole.

[7:51] Unknown speaker: You really had me going there for a second.

[7:54] Unknown speaker: It's rude to interrupt.

[7:55] Unknown speaker: As for me, I was always destined to die, but just of some run-of-the-mill cancer.

[8:01] Unknown speaker: But you don't get to pose the same kinds of questions about morality and personal responsibility when the death sentence isn't sexually transmitted, you know?

[8:10] Unknown speaker: Cancer.

[8:11] Unknown speaker: Pancreatic.

[8:13] Unknown speaker: Purple looked great with my skin tone.

[8:16] Unknown speaker: Back when I had one.

[8:18] Unknown speaker: I completely forgot.

[8:20] Unknown speaker: My god.

[8:21] Unknown speaker: It's really you.

[8:22] Unknown speaker: But this is how is this possible?

[8:25] Unknown speaker: We're actually not totally sure, but queer folks have gotten super into witchcraft since the 2016 election.

[8:32] Unknown speaker: So what are you doing here?

[8:34] Unknown speaker: Oh, that one's easy. We're here for revenge.

[8:36] Unknown speaker: For what?

[8:39] Unknown speaker: I I created you.

[8:41] Unknown speaker: You created us just so you could kill us in tragic and off-puttingly sentimental ways that aligned with your work's predictably heteronormative things.

[8:49] Unknown speaker: Titulate your queer fan base and then teach 'em a lesson.

[8:52] Unknown speaker: That's not I didn't.

[8:54] Unknown speaker: I love you.

[8:55] Unknown speaker: I birthed you.

[8:56] Unknown speaker: Haven't you heard of killing your darlings?

[8:59] Unknown speaker: Huh.

[9:00] Unknown speaker: Weird how none of your other darlings have ever been straight.

[9:03] Unknown speaker: Unlike the breeders, you forgot to give us indestructible plot armor.

[9:07] Unknown speaker: This is insane.

[9:08] Unknown speaker: You do know gay people die in real life, don't you?

[9:12] Unknown speaker: So why shouldn't they in my books as well?

[9:14] Unknown speaker: You're just not getting it, are you?

[9:17] Unknown speaker: And you certainly didn't gift us with the patience or impulse control needed to continue explaining it to you.

[9:23] Unknown speaker: What do you say we start showing instead of telling?

[9:28] Unknown speaker: My pleasure.

[9:29] Unknown speaker: Where the hell did you get that rope from?

[9:31] Unknown speaker: You picked a real strange time to suddenly start caring about convenient plot holes, Pops.

[9:37] Unknown speaker: Tie him up.

[9:38] Unknown speaker: What are you going to do to me?

[9:40] Unknown speaker: Something deeply symbolic, of course.

[9:42] Unknown speaker: Take away someone you love.

[9:45] Unknown speaker: And theirs check off spouse now.

[9:49] Unknown speaker: I mean gagging is more our style.

[9:51] Unknown speaker: But we're improvising here.

[9:53] Unknown speaker: Now, time to write wifey out of this story.

[9:56] Unknown speaker: We're good.

[9:58] Unknown speaker: They were out of your usual brand, but the guy at the counter said the scotch is just as Who the hell are you?

[10:04] Unknown speaker: Uh I'm Oscar, and this is my house.

[10:07] Unknown speaker: And that's my husband you've got tied to a chair.

[10:10] Unknown speaker: Maybe it's the head wound talking, but what the actual fuck?

[10:15] Unknown speaker: You're married?

[10:17] Unknown speaker: Just stand there, you idiot.

[10:18] Unknown speaker: Run.

[10:19] Unknown speaker: Get help.

[10:20] Unknown speaker: I wouldn't do that if I were you, sweetheart.

[10:23] Unknown speaker: You're married to a You're queer.

[10:26] Unknown speaker: Bent, a friend of Dorothy?

[10:29] Unknown speaker: Family?

[10:30] Unknown speaker: Guilty as charged.

[10:32] Unknown speaker: But you're how how could you How could I what?

[10:35] Unknown speaker: Not throw a pride flag on the cover of every book, ghettoize my writing by chucking it in with the lowbrow anti intellectual lobotomized drill that is gay popular culture?

[10:45] Unknown speaker: No thanks.

[10:46] Unknown speaker: I wanted an actual career.

[10:48] Unknown speaker: I earned it.

[10:49] Unknown speaker: What about your readers?

[10:50] Unknown speaker: Your queer fans.

[10:51] Unknown speaker: I told him he didn't have to.

[10:53] Unknown speaker: Oscar.

[10:54] Unknown speaker: Can you please not undermine me in front of our guests?

[10:58] Unknown speaker: As to your question, I didn't grow up with any gay role models, and I turned out just fine.

[11:04] Unknown speaker: You're even more of a monster than we thought.

[11:07] Unknown speaker: Sister, you may have been brought to life tonight, but you sure do sound like you were born yesterday.

[11:13] Unknown speaker: Stop!

[11:14] Unknown speaker: You need to leave my home.

[11:16] Unknown speaker: Now he's got a gun.

[11:18] Unknown speaker: He's not gonna I don't want to.

[11:20] Unknown speaker: But I need you to go.

[11:22] Unknown speaker: Please.

[11:22] Unknown speaker: You've got the lives you wanted.

[11:24] Unknown speaker: A second chance to lead the lives you want on your own terms.

[11:28] Unknown speaker: You don't need this.

[11:32] Unknown speaker: Fine.

[11:33] Unknown speaker: This isn't over, old man.

[11:35] Unknown speaker: See you in hell, Daddy dearest.

[11:45] Unknown speaker: Oh, thank God, honey.

[11:47] Unknown speaker: That was a little too close for comfort.

[11:51] Unknown speaker: Well, are you you gonna untie me or just stand around looking like a sad puppy dog?

[11:56] Unknown speaker: Hey, hey, hey, hey, you can put the gun down now, sweetheart.

[12:00] Unknown speaker: We're safe.

[12:01] Unknown speaker: Where'd you get a pistol anyway?

[12:04] Unknown speaker: That was my first errand tonight.

[12:08] Unknown speaker: The one I did for me, not as your pathetic little servant.

[12:13] Unknown speaker: I never called you You've called me lots of other things.

[12:17] Unknown speaker: Every name in the book, really.

[12:19] Unknown speaker: Speaking of which, you know, I like books too.

[12:23] Unknown speaker: Not just the pretentious crap you write.

[12:27] Unknown speaker: You'd be amazed at the kind of occult goodies you can find at the antique stores downtown.

[12:35] Unknown speaker: Since when do you wait?

[12:38] Unknown speaker: You that bit of summoning was just some karmic fun.

[12:42] Unknown speaker: This beauty here in my hand is gonna do the real work.

[12:46] Unknown speaker: You're gonna you're gonna shoot me?

[12:49] Unknown speaker: You can't be serious.

[12:51] Unknown speaker: You could never.

[12:53] Unknown speaker: You don't have the balls.

[12:55] Unknown speaker: Besides, what would you do without me?

[12:58] Unknown speaker: I think I'll do just fine.

[13:01] Unknown speaker: True crime has never been hotter.

[13:05] Unknown speaker: Time for me to finally be the protagonist of my own story.

[13:10] Unknown speaker: Oscar, wait!

[13:22] Unknown speaker: Hello!

[13:23] Unknown speaker: Please, help me, please!

[13:25] Unknown speaker: My husband's been shot.

[13:26] Unknown speaker: He's not He's not breathing.

[13:29] Unknown speaker: Please send someone now.

[13:31] Unknown speaker: Oh my god.

[13:33] Unknown speaker: I don't know.

[13:34] Unknown speaker: I I just got home, and when I pulled into the driveway, I saw a man and a woman running away from the house.

[13:40] Unknown speaker: Yes, uh 280 Vasquez Place.

[13:45] Unknown speaker: Please hurry.

[13:59] Unknown speaker: I just love a good twisty ending.

[14:01] Unknown speaker: Did it go well with my twisty hair?

[14:04] Unknown speaker: Ah, indeed.

[14:06] Unknown speaker: Oh.

[14:07] Unknown speaker: Are we good to go?

[14:08] Unknown speaker: Or you were all frighteningly fabulous.

[14:11] Unknown speaker: Of course I can't sacrifice any of you.

[14:13] Unknown speaker: You heard the duck.

[14:14] Unknown speaker: Be gone!

[14:15] Unknown speaker: Yes, be gone, my little beasties.

[14:17] Unknown speaker: Oh, this is fun.

[14:20] Unknown speaker: What's next?

[14:21] Unknown speaker: This next scary tale is for all the zombie fans out there.

[14:25] Unknown speaker: What did you say?

[14:28] Unknown speaker: Oh my god, why is he looking at me like that?

[14:31] Unknown speaker: How dare you?

[14:32] Unknown speaker: He's speaking in all capital letters.

[14:34] Unknown speaker: What what is happening right now?

[14:36] Unknown speaker: Doc?

[14:37] Unknown speaker: Is everything okay?

[14:41] Unknown speaker: STAGE FRIGHTS is a gather by the Ghost Light production.

[14:44] Unknown speaker: It was produced and directed by Jonathan Cook and Devon McSherry.

[14:49] Unknown speaker: The STAGE Frights concept and theme was created and written by Jonathan Cook.

[14:53] Unknown speaker: The featured audio play in this episode, Unburied, was written by John Bavoso.

[14:58] Unknown speaker: The STAGE Frights series stars AC Daniel, Matt Kridel, Luke Romagnoli, Azariah Seay, Marian Thibodeau, Mickey Lay, Robb Smith, Wesley Pierson, Pepper Wren, Brad King, Michael Silvio Fortino, Karla Daly, Korilyn Hendricks, Arelis Rivera, TJ McSherry, Jonathan Cook, Devon McSherry, and Nathan Shelton as Doctor Necropolis.

[15:21] Unknown speaker: Original audio production, sound design and editing by Jonathan Cook.

[15:27] Unknown speaker: Intro and outro music by composer JK/47.

[15:31] Unknown speaker: Additional featured music in this episode by idokay, Randy Sharp, and Max H.

[15:36] Unknown speaker: Special thanks to the Frightmare Theatre Podcast, Bonnie Marie Williams and the Horror Nerds Podcast, Horrorstruck Hot Sauce, and Le Chat Noir Theatre.

[15:44] Unknown speaker: This program is funded in part by the South Carolina Arts Commission, which receives support from the National Endowment for the Arts.

[15:59] Unknown speaker: I mean it literally like just stop it literally just played the whole thing like a minute ago.