This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Amy Daniels: Welcome back to Season 3. We are so glad you are back to continue to explore the world with us.

[0:05] Amy Daniels: If you are new to the Kitten & Clucky podcast, be sure to go back and catch up on the last two seasons of all the exciting adventures. And don't forget to like and subscribe to the show so you don't miss our new episodes coming out each month. Finally, we have a new segment after the credits. What are you balking about? This is your chance to call into our show line at 321-345-1544 and ask us questions and share fun facts. Can't wait to hear from you.

[0:58] Amy Daniels: Holiday Miss-givings.

[1:05] Rubix: Ah, finally a clear day. Mmm, yeah, it sure is chilly out today. It feels like it's cold all the time since Maddox leaves that blasted window open for you all day.

[1:18] Rubix: Why do you get so much freedom? Maddox knows I'll come back. She's not worried I leave and never return. Oh, if I get out, I'll come back as ruler of the world. And you'll all be in cages then.

[1:29] Rubix: Really, Rubix, you still think you're going to conquer the world? You will see, feline. Now go and leave me to my plans. Go visit your bird brains.

[1:42] Chip: Clucky and the hens are not bird brains.

[1:47] Rubix: Are they birds? Yes. Do they have brains? Yes. Well, then they are bird brains.

[1:52] Chip: The way you say it makes it sound like an insult.

[1:57] Rubix: I know, isn't it great? See you later, Rubix. Dasvidanya.

[2:07] Rubix: Oh, I wish they'd close that blasted window. I'm going to freeze. Time to head down to my lair and do some plotting. Now down the chute.

[2:16] Rubix: Oh, it is much warmer down here in my lair. Now, where was I? Escape strategies, human enslavement, minion recruitment.

[2:29] Rubix: What was that? Oh, back up the chute.

[2:39] Rubix: Oh, so much yummy food. Who are you?

[2:43] Chip: Huh? Did you come through the open window?

[2:45] Rubix: Ah, flaming cinnamon. You scared me and almost made me choke on this delicious food. Can you believe they just leave it sitting out? There's a whole bowl just sitting here right under that open window. Are you a rodent from outside?

[3:05] Chip: Who is talking to me? Where are you?

[3:08] Rubix: It is I, Rubix Salavanda.

[3:14] Chip: Huh? Who?

[3:16] Rubix: Turn around and look up.

[3:24] Chip: What? What is wrong with your face? Your cheeks are huge. How much food can you put in those cheeks?

[3:26] Rubix: Oh, this could be a possible minion. Looks like they have very useful adaptations.

[3:32] Chip: Oh, my cheeks? They're full of pockets. I've just started. I can't put a lot more in yet. My cheeks contain patches and pockets and can stretch up to three times the size of my head.

[3:44] Rubix: Really? I can see that being very useful. My cheeks only stretch to my soldiers, I mean shoulders. Oh, I do have pockets as well and little muscles that pull the food back once it is in the pocket so I can keep everything organized inside my cheeks.

[4:06] Chip: Really? Me too. I just love a well-organized pocket. My brother once put 13 acorns in his cheeks. It was a family record. The rest of us can only do 12.

[4:16] Chip: I'm a chipmunk to answer your question and my name is Chip.

[4:20] Rubix: Chip? The chipmunk? How original. I'm the last of eight in my litter. I think my mom is too tired when she finally got to naming me.

[4:31] Rubix: What kind of animal are you? Are you dangerous? Is that why they have you in a cage?

[4:37] Chip: Of course I am dangerous. I am Rubik's Ollivander, the hamster of doom. And one day, I will rule the world. Wah-ha-ha! Squeak, squeak, squeak!

[4:51] Rubix: Wow, I've never met a world leader before. Should I bow?

[4:55] Chip: That would be nice. I'd be far too scared to take over the world. There are too many predators out there.

[5:02] Rubix: Predators, ha! I laugh in the face of predators. Squeak, squeak, squeak!

[5:07] Chip: Do you really? Have you laughed at the large gray cat that prowls around this room in the yard? The one that just left out the window to go stalking the woods? She chased me a couple of weeks ago. She is terrifying.

[5:19] Rubix: Oh, kitten? She is not terrifying. I laugh at her all the time. She always wants to be my friend.

[5:27] Chip: You are so brave. I cannot imagine laughing at such a fierce beast. Have you seen her claws and teeth? She chased me through the woods until, lucky for me, another larger predator scared her up a tree.

[5:40] Rubix: Oh, so you are the chipmunk that she saw. She was not going to hurt you. She just wanted to talk.

[5:48] Chip: No way! I mean, she said that, but I didn't believe her. Predators will say anything to get you to stop so they can catch and eat you.

[5:56] Rubix: Ha! Kitten is not a predator.

[5:59] Chip: Oh, yes, I know she has the feline fangs and murder mittens, but she has no clue how to use them. She is a harmless house cat.

[6:08] Rubix: What's a house cat? She is spoiled. She sleeps here in the house, and all her food is provided for her. She has no idea how to hunt.

[6:17] Chip: Then why does she spend her day prowling the woods?

[6:20] Rubix: She is not prowling. She is going down to see her band of bird brain friends down at the lower property.

[6:28] Chip: She is friends with birds? Doesn't she try to eat them?

[6:33] Rubix: No, of course not. She has no killer instinct.

[6:37] Chip: But how can you be sure? Are you talking about the group of birds in the cage with the little house in the woods?

[6:43] Rubix: Yes, those are the birds. Although the cage is new. At her last house, they had a coop or a little house, but no cage. Kitten was always hanging out with them and talking with the rooster. She has never tried to eat them.

[6:58] Chip: I heard the humans talking, and I guess because they are so far away from the house, and there are lots more predators in the woods, they need a cage now.

[7:06] Rubix: Wow, such strange behavior for a predator.

[7:10] Chip: Yes, she is strange. The chicken food is so well protected. I have tried to get in and get some grain, but no luck. That is why I came here.

[7:20] Rubix: The leaves are all off the trees. It is getting close to our hibernation time, so I am trying to get as much food as I can into the burrow before the snow comes. That is why I took a chance and came into the window to get some of this food. Even though it smells so much like human in here.

[7:37] Chip: Flaming cinnamon, what is that?

[7:40] Rubix: I think it is Maddox coming down the stairs. Quick, you better hide. Climb off the curtain, she won't look there.

[7:53] Maddox: It is cold in here. Are you doing okay, Rubix? I thought you would be in your house or under your fluff. Is the cold keeping you awake?

[8:02] Rubix: Of course the cold is keeping me awake, but why would you care?

[8:07] Maddox: Wow, Kitten was really messy with her food today. That is very unlike her. Do you want me to pick you up, Rubix?

[8:14] Rubix: How about I reach in?

[8:20] Maddox: I missed. I was hoping to bite her and then she would drop me out of the cage.

[8:25] Rubix: Maddox, you almost got me. I guess you are not in the mood for some cuddles. I was just dropping in to grab a project kit. I am making little pom-pom pets for my friends who are not allowed to have real pets. See you later, Rubix.

[8:42] Chip: Is she gone? Is it safe to come down?

[8:45] Rubix: Yes, she is gone and my escape attempt was foiled again. I can't believe you tried to bite that human. She is so much bigger than you. Weren't you afraid?

[8:55] Chip: A world leader cannot live in fear of one small human. How are you going to take over the world?

[9:02] Rubix: I am working on the secret plan.

[9:04] Chip: What's the secret?

[9:06] Rubix: If I told you, it would not be a secret anymore.

[9:09] Chip: Flaming cinnamon, you're good.

[9:12] Rubix: You keep saying that.

[9:13] Chip: Flaming cinnamon. What does that mean?

[9:16] Rubix: It's a phrase we use in our family. We all hate the smell of cinnamon and it is also extremely flammable.

[9:22] Chip: You hate the smell of cinnamon?

[9:25] Rubix: Oh, yes. It's just dreadful. The smell and the taste. Yuck.

[9:30] Chip: I don't think it's that bad. I saw some campers sprinkling on a fire once and the flames exploded.

[9:37] Rubix: I don't think you should eat that stuff. That can burst into flames like that.

[9:41] Chip: I had no idea. It sounds like cinnamon could be very useful to my plans.

[9:47] Rubix: Oh, I would stay away if I were you.

[9:49] Chip: It seems you would stay away from a lot of things I would not. Hmm, you have given me lots to think about. Cinnamon.

[9:56] Rubix: Cinnamon.

[10:20] ♪ Musical number: "Deck the Halls" — performed by Clucky and the Hens ♪

[11:32] Clucky: I love this time of year. It feels so much more festive up here in the trees and the crisp mountain air. I didn't think I'd like the cold, but with our winter gear, I'm really enjoying it.

[11:44] Clucky: Did you see? Our coop got a makeover, too.

[11:48] Chip: What is that on the coop?

[11:51] Clucky: It's a thermal blanket to keep it nice and cozy warm in there. We don't need these sweaters. We've all grown several new layers of feathers to keep us warm.

[11:56] Chip: Yes, I can see. You're all looking extra fluffy.

[12:03] Clucky: Are you calling us fat?

[12:05] Chip: No, of course not. Our bodies are preparing us for winter. You all have grown extra feathers, and I've grown extra fur. I even have extra fur on my paws in between my toes. It really keeps my paws warm as I crunch through the ice.

[12:19] Clucky: I'm surprised at how much I'm enjoying the cold, too. Who would have thought we would like it? I thought for sure we'd all be huddled in our coop for months.

[12:29] Bella: When do you think the snow will come?

[12:33] Clucky: I don't know, but maybe it won't be that bad. After all, we thought the cold would be horrible.

[12:39] Bella: I don't know, Bella. I'm still a might bit worried about the snow.

[12:47] Clucky: What's going on?

[12:50] Bella: What's all the commotion?

[12:52] Clucky: Let go of me.

[12:55] Bella: It sounds like a struggle. I hope no one is hurt. It's coming from over there.

[13:03] Clucky: Just stop struggling. We are almost there.

[13:08] Bella: I will not stop struggling. Oh, the indignity of this situation. I demand that you put me down at once. You have no right to take me anywhere. Help! Help! I've been bed-mapped. This monster is trying to eat me.

[13:23] Chip: Stop struggling. Frail as egg, you. What in tarnation are you doing?

[13:28] Bella: Do you have a bird in your mouth?

[13:31] Chip: Oh, my. Have you caught a bird?

[13:41] Pharrell: I do not have to haul your Christmas present all the way to the house.

[13:44] Victoria Peckham: My Christmas present? What could you possibly mean by that?

[13:48] Pharrell: How dare you treat another bird in such a way? What kind of monster are you?

[13:53] Pharrell: Mon amour, I wanted to show you my haunting prowess. I've captured this most magnificent blue jay for you.

[14:01] Victoria Peckham: Blue jay? Blue jay? I'm not a simple blue jay. I am Victoria Peckham, a stellar jay, thank you very much. I'm a world-famous songstress, and you have made me late for my performance. I am to be the star performer at the Jingle Jay Holiday Spectacular.

[14:20] Clucky: Pharrell, how could you? She is a star!

[14:24] Kitten: Really, Pharrell, what were you thinking?

[14:27] Clecky: Oh, Miss Peckham, we are so sorry for this brute's behavior. Please don't think poorly of us. We do not condone Pharrell's actions.

[14:35] Victoria Peckham: What's condone?

[14:37] Clecky: It means approve of, and we certainly do not approve of Pharrell's barbaric capture of Miss Peckham.

[14:43] Pharrell: What is all the fuss? She is just a blue jay.

[14:47] Victoria Peckham: I am not just a common blue jay. I've already told you, I am a stellar jay.

[14:54] Clecky: I did not realize there was such a difference.

[14:57] Pharrell: All of you look the same to me, blue and funny little chapeau on top.

[15:03] Victoria Peckham: I do not have a chapeau. If anything, it looks more like an elegant fascinator.

[15:09] Clecky: Well, I find this whole conversation fascinating. What's a chapeau? Is that anything like a sharpie or maybe a sharpay?

[15:19] Kitten: Hey, kitten, isn't that a kind of marker or something?

[15:22] Clecky: Oh, Clecky, yes, a sharpie is a type of permanent marker, and a sharpay is a breed of dog more commonly known as the wrinkle dogs.

[15:31] Victoria Peckham: I'm not sure what a chapeau is. Pharrell, is that French?

[15:35] Pharrell: Ah, well, I see I find myself in less cultured company now. A chapeau is French for hat. I'm clearly not wearing a hat.

[15:44] Clecky: I can see your headpiece looks much more like a fascinator.

[15:47] Kitten: Clecky, would you call this a fascinator or a chapeau on my head?

[15:53] Clecky: They are neither, Clecky. It is a toque.

[15:56] Pharrell: A what now?

[15:57] Clecky: A toque, a knitted cap. That is what we call them in Canada.

[16:02] Kitten: Oh, I like that word, toque. Toque, toque, toque.

[16:06] Clecky: We call them a beanie in the U.S.

[16:08] Kitten: I agree. Toque is more fun to say than beanie.

[16:12] Clecky: So, what's a fascinator, then?

[16:14] Victoria Peckham: A fascinator is an adornment worn on the head that is usually decorated with flowers, beads, and obviously, in my case, feathers.

[16:22] Clecky: Do you typically have these exchanges about headwear and vocabulary?

[16:26] Victoria Peckham: I do, as I want to be.

[16:28] Pharrell: Sir, if you wouldn't mind taking your filthy paw off of me, I can be on my way.

[16:33] Pharrell: But you are a gift to my kitten!

[16:36] Victoria Peckham: Well, obviously, I am quite a prize and a gift indeed to the world, but not for solely one kitten's enjoyment. Tut-tut! Off with your paw, please, you brute!

[16:46] Pharrell: I do not want to ask you again.

[16:48] Pharrell: But kitten, how will you eat this bird if I let it go?

[16:53] Kitten: Oh, no, Pharrell! I don't eat birds.

[16:56] Clecky: She doesn't eat birds, Pharrell.

[16:58] Pharrell: Pharrell, what on earth were you thinking? No one is eating me. I'm not food.

[17:03] Kitten: Kitten, open the door and let me at him.

[17:05] Pharrell: Oh, kitten, mon chéri, you do not approve of your gift.

[17:09] Kitten: Ew, Pharrell, no, I don't eat birds. I may have chased a few in the past, but I have changed my ways. My best friends are now birds. Let Miss Victoria Peckham go.

[17:22] Pharrell: Very well, then. I will try something else later.

[17:28] Victoria Peckham: It's about time. Just look at me. I'm a bedraggled mess. Just look at what you've done to my feathers. It'll take me days, probably weeks, to get them back to my gorgeous self. I'm going to have to have a whole spa weekend to get over this.

[17:44] Pharrell: Unbelievable! Do you know the trauma you've caused me?

[17:47] Victoria Peckham: Do you? How could I possibly perform looking like this? Ah, I'm even wet in places.

[17:53] Clecky: Oh, Miss Peckham, please let me help. I can smooth down the feathers in the back.

[17:58] Victoria Peckham: I'm not sure I want your paws on me. I've been cat-handled quite enough for today.

[18:04] Clecky: Oh, Miss Peckham, kitten is really gentle. She's not a beast like Pharrell.

[18:10] Pharrell: I am standing right here.

[18:13] Victoria Peckham: You can feel free to leave. Really, Pharrell, after your actions, I'm not sure we can be friends. Such disregard for a member of our feathered community.

[18:22] Pharrell: Mon dieu, I did not realize my actions would be taken in such a way. It was not my intention to offend any of you. I merely wanted to show my affections for my dearest kitten with a treasured gift. I saw you only as a trophée, not a being with feelings.

[18:39] Victoria Peckham: Well, I'm glad you've seen the error of your ways. Just wish my plumage did not have to suffer for it.

[18:46] Clecky: Ruffled feathers or not, you look stunning.

[18:49] Victoria Peckham: Why, thank you. What was your name?

[18:52] Clecky: I am Sir Cluckington, but you can call me Clucky.

[18:56] Victoria Peckham: I did not realize I was among the nobility. You may call me Victoria.

[19:00] Clecky: Shucks, it's just a title from my owner Xander. Nothing that official.

[19:06] Victoria Peckham: Well, it seems I misjudged all of you as well. You are higher class creatures than I initially thought.

[19:12] Victoria Peckham: Oh my, look at the sun. It is getting quite low in the sky. I am due at the Holiday Spectacular at sunset. I best get on my way.

[19:20] Clecky: It was a pleasure meeting you, Victoria. I wish it had been under better circumstances. Feel free to fly by and visit us. We'd love to hear you sing.

[19:29] Clecky: Maybe we can do a duet?

[19:31] Victoria Peckham: Rock and a roll, the Christmas tree, oh the Christmas tree.

[19:37] Clecky: Oh wow, that's certainly not in my range. I'm so sorry, Victoria darling. I have not heard anything quite like that before. I'm sure they'll all be stunned at the Spectacular.

[19:51] Pharrell: What are you all going on about? That was terrible.

[19:55] Clecky: Feral, given your actions, I don't think you can comment right now. Every creature has its own tradition. It's not our place to judge their... artistry.

[20:04] Victoria Peckham: You are all so kind. Except you, Feral, you ill-mannered ruffian.

[20:08] Victoria Peckham: But I really must be off. Pleasure.

[20:11] Clecky: Goodbye, Victoria. Bye.

[20:14] Kitten: Bye, Victoria. It was nice meeting you. Bye.

[20:17] Clecky: Goodbye, Victoria. Good luck at the show.

[20:20] Pharrell: I'm going to head back up as well. My paws are getting cold.

[20:24] Clecky: Shall I escort you back up the mountain?

[20:27] Pharrell: Thank you, but I'm perfectly capable of getting up on my own.

[20:30] Clecky: Of course you are, but there would be a chance for us to spend some quality time together. Alone.

[20:38] Pharrell: Who's coming back? This inconsiderate caller. What bad timing.

[20:44] Clecky: Looks like you better get back home, Feral. Your person's looking for you.

[20:48] Pharrell: She is not my person. But alas, I must bid you all farewell. Au revoir.

[21:01] Cinnamon: Cinnamon. Cinnamon. Where do you think I could find cinnamon?

[21:07] Kitten: Why? I told you it was terrible. I believe most humans keep some in the house.

[21:12] Cinnamon: Isn't there a place called the kitchen where they do the cooking?

[21:16] Kitten: Ah, yes. I believe that is on the main floor. I'm sure I can find some.

[21:20] Cinnamon: You would never catch me in a kitchen. You should really stay away from Cinnamon.

[21:27] Cinnamon: My brother Chester ate some cinnamon sprinkled nuts on a dare and nearly died.

[21:32] Kitten: He's a very good cook. He's a very good cook.

[21:35] Cinnamon: I'm sure he's a good cook.

[21:38] Kitten: I'm sure he's a good cook.

[21:41] Cinnamon: I'm sure he's a good cook.

[21:44] Kitten: I'm sure he's a good cook.

[21:47] Cinnamon: I'm sure he's a good cook.

[21:50] Kitten: I'm sure he's a good cook.

[21:54] Cinnamon: That's right. If I had a chance, I'd have done it.

[21:58] Kitten: But my brother didn't eat any nuts on a dare and nearly died. He saw visions of flying acorns and complained of tummy troubles for days.

[22:07] Cinnamon: Hmmmm we are very similar with our paws and pocketed cheeks. I wonder if I would have such a bad reaction.

[22:15] Kitten: I would not risk it.

[22:17] Cinnamon: Wow, you have really managed to get quite a lot of cat food in your cheeks.

[22:22] Kitten: Yes, I have them almost full. You won't see me again till after the winter. This should be enough to finish our stores for the winter.

[22:29] Cinnamon: What will you do for the rest of the winter?

[22:32] Kitten: My family and I all curl up in our burrow and mostly sleep. Casually we snack on the food we collected.

[22:38] Cinnamon: And you can still move around easily with your cheeks so full?

[22:42] Kitten: Can you climb?

[22:44] Cinnamon: Of course I can still climb. I have to get back out the window after all.

[22:48] Kitten: Do you think you can climb up here and undo the latch to my door?

[22:52] Cinnamon: Maybe. Do you know how the latch works?

[22:55] Kitten: You're a mean one, Pharrell. You really do not think.

[23:02] Pharrell: You catch me a bird and you expect me to eat it.

[23:07] Kitten: What is that? Is that the cat?

[23:11] Cinnamon: It is. She keeps singing Christmas songs and changing the words. I have to go. She may try to eat me.

[23:18] Kitten: No. I told you she is harmless. Just jump up here quick and undo my latch.

[23:23] Cinnamon: I can't. She's almost here. I have to escape. I'll come back again in the spring. Bye.

[23:28] Kitten: No! No!

[23:34] Rubix: Rubix, are you still up?

[23:36] Kitten: I'm surprised. Normally I don't see you this time of day.

[23:41] Rubix: Why are you back now? You usually stay out much longer.

[23:44] Kitten: It's so cold I thought I'd come in and spend some time with Maddox.

[23:48] Rubix: She's not here. Why don't you go back out?

[23:51] Kitten: Are you trying to get rid of me?

[23:53] Rubix: No. Why would you think that?

[23:55] Kitten: What's with my food? Why is it all over the place? And where is most of it?

[24:01] Rubix: Rubix, are you able to get out? Did you steal my food?

[24:05] Rubix: No. Of course not. You know I can't get to my cage open.

[24:10] Kitten: Then what happened here? Did you have a friend?

[24:13] Rubix: Please. You know I don't want friends.

[24:17] Kitten: Everyone wants friends, Rubix.

[24:19] Rubix: Not I. I want to rule. No time for friends.

[24:26] Kitten: I've been up too long. I need my day sleep.

[24:30] Rubix: I know you're up to something, Rubix.

[24:32] Rubix: Of course I am. It's no secret I am plotting to take over the world.

[24:37] Kitten: Yeah. Okay. I hope you have sweet holiday dreams.

[24:41] Rubix: Bah humbug.

[24:45] Amy Daniels: Thank you for joining us for today's show. Voices for today's characters were performed by Christine Rosam as Chip.

[24:50] Chip: Oh no. Predators.

[24:55] Pharrell: What's going down?

[24:59] Victoria Peckham: And Victoria.

[25:00] Victoria Peckham: Oh, the indignity of this situation.

[25:04] Parker Daniels: as Maddox.

[25:07] Maddox: I can't wait to cuddle up with a good book this holiday.

[25:10] Bridget: Happy holidays, everyone.

[25:12] Bella: See you in the new year.

[25:15] Brita: And Brita.

[25:18] Brita: Tis the season to be jolly.

[25:21] Amy Daniels: And Amy Daniels as Kitten. May your paws stay warm this Christmas.

[25:26] Plucky: Happy holidays.

[25:29] Rubix: And Rubix. Holidays. Bah humbug.

[25:33] Amy Daniels: The Kitten and Clucky Podcast was created, edited, and produced by Amy Daniels. This episode was co-written by Amy Daniels and Christine Rosam. Special thanks to Henry Johnson, our theme song composer.

[25:46] Amy Daniels: Did you know he composed that when he was only 12? He's so talented. Sound effects and song music provided by Epidemic Sound.

[25:55] Amy Daniels: And now, our new segment.

[25:58] Amy Daniels: What you talkin' about? This is a new segment where you get to tell us what's on your mind. Tell us a joke. Or share a fun fact. Or ask us your burning questions.

[26:10] Kitten: Lucky no one has burning questions.

[26:13] Amy Daniels: You never know.

[26:22] Leah: Hi, my name is Leah.

[26:24] Leah: Hi, my name is Leah. I am seven years old and I am from Oregon.

[26:31] Leah: Three. I mean eight. And did you know elephants have 100 bones in their trunk?

[26:42] Amy Daniels: That is amazing. And did you know they can play percussion music?

[26:50] Leah: Who knew?

[26:52] Amy Daniels: I didn't know all those fun facts about elephants. Thanks so much for sharing, Leah.

[26:56] Amelia: Hi, my name is Amelia. Did you know that heavier chicken breeds can get a foot disease called Bumblefoot? It's often treated with Epsom salt baths.

[27:08] Amy Daniels: So Clucky, you might want to watch your diet, just in case.

[27:13] Clucky: Oh boy, thanks Amelia for sharing those facts. I guess I better not eat that last Christmas cookie.