This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:01] Kitten: Meow, Meow! Clucky and I are two best friends trying to make sense of the world around us. Adventures and discoveries are around every bend. Come along and explore with us!

[0:22] Clucky: Season 2, Episode 5. Severus D. Snake.

[0:34] Kitten: What a beautiful morning. Not too hot and...

[0:41] Clucky: What is that? I see movement. Intruder!

[0:47] Kitten: Release the alarm!

[0:49] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! What's going on?

[0:51] Clucky: Invader of the lanai!

[0:53] Dog: Ruff! Ruff!

[0:55] Kitten: Long and thin, kitten. Flat and sliding around.

[0:59] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Get off my lanai!

[1:03] Clucky: Doggies! What's all the commotion? Why so loud this morning?

[1:07] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Snake!

[1:11] Kitten: We must steer it away. We must protect the family. It's dangerous. Rosie, Jack, come on. Stay away from that. Come on, doggies.

[1:20] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! No, don't go near it. Come on.

[1:24] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Come on, let's go inside. Off the lanai. There's an intruder. Come on. I got a treat. You want a treat?

[1:32] Dog: Bark! Treat? I love treats. Oh, treat?

[1:36] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! Come on, in your bed. I'll give you a treat.

[1:40] Dog: Oh, yay, yay. Yummy treat. I'm here. I'm here in my bed, kitty.

[1:44] Kitten: Oh, good girl, Rosie. Muy bonita. Here's your treat.

[1:50] Dog: Oh, a big bone. Well, my morning is planned. Mmm, que rico. Yum, yum.

[1:59] Dog: Oh, me too. I'm in my bed. I want one, too.

[2:02] Kitten: Oh, good boy, Jack. Here's your bone. Now stay here and enjoy.

[2:08] Dog: Mmm. Yum, yum, yum.

[2:12] Dog: Oh, hey, wait. Hey!

[2:16] Dog: Ruff! What about the snake? What are you barking about? Have you forgotten already? Huh? The snake on the lanai. Huh? Ay, yi, yi. I feel like we were a trick. We did not scare away that snake.

[2:37] Dog: Ruff! Ruff! It's okay, Rosie. Stay here in your crate. I've got a snake to take care of. Wait! Come help!

[2:44] Mom: What's up, Mom?

[2:46] Xander: Mom, I was playing.

[2:48] Mom: Well, if we all work together, we'll get you back to playing very soon. Right now, I have a mission that needs all of us to complete it.

[2:54] Xander: What is it?

[2:56] Mom: The dogs just discovered there's a snake on the lanai.

[2:58] Xander: A snake? How did it get through the screen?

[3:00] Maddox: A snake? Oh, cool. I've always wanted a snake. Can we keep it?

[3:05] Mom: No, we don't keep wild animals. Besides, Xander, Mom has ophidiophobia.

[3:09] Xander: What's that? Mom, are you dying?

[3:12] Mom: No, don't be silly. Ophidiophobia is an extreme fear of snakes that causes anxiety, dizziness, dry mouth, extreme dread or terror, nausea, sweating, and several other symptoms.

[3:23] Xander: All that from just seeing a snake? Mom, are you going to be okay?

[3:27] Mom: I'm fine. I don't have ophidiophobia. I just have a healthy fear and respect for snakes. Anyway, we need to focus and figure out a plan. I don't know how the snake got in the screen lanai, but we need to get it out.

[3:38] Xander: I've got a plan.

[3:40] Mom: Okay, Mom. How can we help?

[3:42] Xander: Special Operative Xander reporting for duty.

[3:45] Mom: It's too bad your dad's at work. He usually takes care of these things.

[3:48] Xander: We got this, Mom. What's the plan?

[3:51] Mom: Okay, here's what we're going to do. Maddox, I need you to go outside through the front door and open the lanai door in the dog yard side. Be sure that you flip the latch so it stays open.

[4:01] Maddox: Got it.

[4:03] Mom: Xander, I need you to go get your most powerful Nerf guns and a bunch of foam bullets.

[4:06] Xander: You got it.

[4:09] Mom: Maddox, once he returns with the Nerf guns, I want you to go open the door. When you get back inside the house, we'll start our offensive.

[4:17] Maddox: Okay, Mom. Here. You can have Lawbringer. It holds 12 foam bullets. But you have to cock it every time before you shoot.

[4:25] Mom: Great. Thanks, buddy. And I'll be using the Dart Zone. It has an intermission belt that holds 20 foam bullets and does rapid fire.

[4:33] Maddox: Alright. It seems like we're ready.

[4:35] Mom: Maddox, be as quiet as you can and open the door.

[4:39] Xander: Come on, Maddox. Let's get into position next to the sliding door.

[4:45] Mom: When Maddox is back in, we will attack.

[4:51] Maddox: Okay, Mom. The door is open.

[4:53] Mom: Not yet. I want Maddox to be back inside before.

[4:59] Maddox: Okay. I'm back.

[5:02] Mom: Awesome. Fire!

[5:03] Xander: Fire!

[5:11] Mom: Aim something close towards the door.

[5:13] Xander: Okay.

[5:16] Mom: It's moving.

[5:18] Xander: That way.

[5:21] Mom: It's working. It's slithering towards the door.

[5:25] Xander: It's almost there.

[5:29] Maddox: Mom, will the bullets hurt him?

[5:31] Mom: No, honey. We're just basically shooing him out the door from a safe distance. We're not even hitting him.

[5:38] Maddox: He is out!

[5:40] Mom: Okay. You both stay here. I'm going to go close the screen door.

[5:47] Maddox: Great job. The snake is going towards the pond.

[5:50] Mom: Come on. Let's clean up all these Nerf darts.

[5:52] Maddox: Oh, Mom. I see there is a little hole in the screen. I wonder if that is where the snake got in.

[5:57] Xander: What kind of snake do you think he was?

[5:58] Maddox: It was really long and all black. I think it is a black racer. I read about it in the Florida Wildlife Book we have.

[6:05] Xander: They are long and thin and can slither at a speed of 8 to 10 miles an hour.

[6:09] Maddox: Wow. That's really fast. That's like a quick jog for a human.

[6:13] Xander: Of course, Mom. That's why they're called the black racer. They zoom across the ground.

[6:18] Mom: Thank you, Xander. I wish we were able to zoom across the country for our holiday trip this year.

[6:25] Xander: Don't worry, Mom. We'll be able to travel again soon.

[6:29] Mom: I know. I could use a break from the heat and the Florida wildlife. It's almost Christmas and it would be nice to celebrate in the cold with family.

[6:37] Xander: We better enjoy all this heat now. Next year will be very different because we'll be moving to the mountains this summer.

[6:44] Maddox: You are so right. We had better enjoy our last Christmas in Florida. I wonder how the animals will like the mountains of Washington.

[6:51] Xander: I think Plucky and the hens will love it.

[6:56] Maddox: Let's go.

[7:16] Clucky: Dashing round the perimeter. Making everything safe. Oh, what fun it is to see. Popper looking this way. Hey, Popper. I know I'm looking good. My tail feathers are extra bright. I love Christmas so much.

[7:31] Clucky: Hello, Snake. Oh, hey there, buddy. I didn't see you slithering there. You kind of surprised me.

[8:01] Severus D. Snake: Who you calling a snake? I'm Sir Cluckington Daniels of Carrington.

[8:08] Clucky: I don't care what your name is. You look like a very delicious snack. I've had a very stressful morning and I could use a tasty morsel like you to pick up my spirits.

[8:26] Severus D. Snake: Hey now, I'm all for holiday cheer if you're feeling low, but trust me, you don't want to eat me. I know Tae Kwon Do, and these wings are so dangerous they have their own names. This is Karate and Chop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[8:46] Clucky: Ha ha ha, you are so ridiculous. You think you can get away from me? Clucky, what are you doing? Why are you flapping around like that? Are you trying to impress Piper? Oh, my day just keeps getting better.

[9:00] Severus D. Snake: Hello, Snacking Number Two.

[9:09] Clucky: Oh, who are you?

[9:10] Severus D. Snake: I am Severus D. Snake.

[9:16] Clucky: Hello, Severus. What does the D stand for?

[9:20] Severus D. Snake: It stands for Danger.

[9:24] Clucky: That's an interesting middle name. I'm Kitten Adeline. My day is getting much better knowing I will soon be very full.

[9:30] Severus D. Snake: Yeah, full of water.

[9:32] Clucky: What, holiday cheer? Want to sing a round of Jingle Bells?

[9:40] Severus D. Snake: Of course not. You're not very smart, Snacks. I am a black racer and I eat creatures like you. I am very fast, so don't even think about trying to escape.

[9:54] Clucky: Now, hold on. I'm very furry and he has lots of feathers.

[9:56] Severus D. Snake: Sure do. I don't think either one of us would be a very good meal. I've had a very stressful morning. I was sunning myself on that patio over there when I was attacked by foam projectiles.

[10:07] Clucky: Say what now? Phone call coming in?

[10:09] Severus D. Snake: Foam projectiles? I think he means Nerf darts. We were wondering why Xander and the mom person were battling in the lanai. Do you belong to those humans?

[10:20] Clucky: Oh, I will enjoy the snack even more now.

[10:26] Severus D. Snake: Look, Severus. It sounds like you had a rough morning and we'd like to help.

[10:34] Clucky: Enough chatter. Lady's choice. Do you like being eaten first or second?

[10:40] Severus D. Snake: Is there an option three?

[10:42] Clucky: Option three? Yes, option three. I would not like to be eaten.

[10:49] Severus D. Snake: No, that is not an option.

[10:52] Clucky: I will. Incoming. I gotcha.

[10:56] Severus D. Snake: Let go of me. Lift off.

[10:58] Clucky: What in the world? We're too high.

[11:02] Kitten: Oh my, Piper just picked him up with her feet. She grabbed him right behind his head. Good thinking. He can't turn and bite her that way.

[11:11] Clucky: She is smart, brave, and beautiful.

[11:16] Kitten: Oh no. Do you think he'll coil around her?

[11:20] Clucky: No, he said he was a black racer. They are part of the constrictor family, but they do not typically coil around their prey. They usually crush them with their jaw or swallow them whole alive.

[11:30] Kitten: What? They have also been known to hunt near the water and they will drag their prey into the water and drown them. They are very good swimmers.

[11:40] Clucky: Wow, that is disturbing. I can barely see them now. Where do you think Piper is taking him?

[11:46] Kitten: I don't know. I hope she comes back soon.

[11:50] Clucky: Me too. Do you see anything yet?

[11:54] Kitten: No, but it's only been about five minutes.

[12:00] Clucky: Oh, I do hope she's okay. Bruh, how could I live with myself if she got hurt saving us?

[12:06] Kitten: Yo, is that her?

[12:08] Clucky: Where, bruh?

[12:10] Kitten: Over there. She's approaching fast. Look out below. Brace.

[12:16] Clucky: Oh no, coming in too fast. Why do I always do this?

[12:20] Kitten: Oh, ouch, ouch. Piper, Piper, are you okay? Speak to me, please.

[12:30] Clucky: What? I can't understand you. Clucky, stop hugging her beak shut.

[12:36] Kitten: Oh, my bad. That was quite an adventure. Thank you for your concern, Clucky. I am just fine.

[12:42] Clucky: I hope that snake was not a friend of yours.

[12:46] Kitten: It seemed to me like he was getting ready to strike, so I thought I needed to act fast.

[12:54] Clucky: Oh, thank goodness you did. He was about to eat us. He was no friend of ours. What did you do with him?

[13:02] Kitten: Well, I remembered what you had told me about the moving noodles here, so I thought he might be dangerous.

[13:10] Clucky: Danger was his middle name.

[13:12] Kitten: Really?

[13:14] Clucky: Oh yeah, that's what he said.

[13:16] Kitten: Well, I'm very glad I followed my instincts and got him away from here. What did you do with him?

[13:24] Clucky: Oh, there's a wetland a few miles from here. I flew over there and dropped him in the swamp.

[13:30] Kitten: Did you drop him really high?

[13:32] Clucky: No, I did not want to hurt him in case I was wrong about him, but from the way he was hissing at me, I knew it would not be safe for me to land with him. So as I was flying over the swamp, I swooped low and dropped him in the water, and I flew back up.

[13:48] Kitten: I saw him surface and start slithering through the water.

[13:52] Clucky: Kitten, you're right. He can swim.

[13:54] Kitten: Oh, he was a very good swimmer.

[13:56] Clucky: Well, I hope he doesn't come back. I am so glad you're here to save the day. You're my hero.

[14:04] Amy Daniels: Thank you so much for joining us for today's action-packed episode. Please be sure to subscribe to the Kitten and Clucky podcast wherever you get your podcasts. We are so grateful today for all of our guest voices this week. We had Olga Riviera as Rosie, Matt Daniels as Captain Jack, Parker Daniels as Maddox, Corbin Daniels as Xander and Syverus, Christine Rosam as Piper, and Amy Daniels as Kitten and Clucky.

[14:40] Amy Daniels: The Kitten and Clucky podcast is written, edited, and produced by Amy Daniels, all rights reserved. If you'd like to be part of our Joke of the Day segment, please call 321-345-1544.

[14:57] Corbin: And now, it's the Kitten and Clucky Joke of the Day. Hi, I'm Corbin.

[15:01] Julian: And I'm Julian. We are originally from Ontario, Canada. But now we are living in a washing machine.

[15:07] Corbin: You mean Washington?

[15:09] Julian: Yeah, Washington. Anyway, here's our joke. I was transporting pets to the zoo. My truck broke down on the way. I saw a guy and asked,

[15:17] Corbin: hey, can you take these penguins to the zoo? My truck broke down.

[15:22] Julian: Sure, I'll take them to the zoo.

[15:24] Corbin: Later, I saw the same guy coming back to the truck. And he still had the penguins. So I asked,

[15:30] Julian: I told you to take the penguins to the zoo. Why are they still with you?