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[0:00] Rory O'Malley: You're listening to episode number 67 of Living the Dream with Rory O'Malley.

[0:05] Rory O'Malley: Audition, side job, swimming upstream. Believe it or not, you're living the dream.

[0:11] Rory O'Malley: Hello, dreamers. Rory O'Malley here. Welcome to Living the Dream. Thank you so much for downloading this episode.

[0:19] Rory O'Malley: If you enjoy Living the Dream, please write a review, rate us, tell your friends and family. Guys, I want to talk to you about something. Are you registered to vote? Are you? Are your friends? Is your former cast of Greece? We all have a former cast of Greece.

[0:38] Rory O'Malley: Um, I am so excited to announce that I am working with Broadway Care's Equity Fights AIDS and an organization called When We All Vote. That is a voter registration organization that Lynn Manuel is one of the honorary chairs of. And we are getting the theater community to register to vote before the midterm elections this November 6th.

[1:01] Rory O'Malley: So we're doing a uh social media campaign called Belt the Vote in the theater community. We don't just rock the vote, we belt it. You can go to Beltthevote.org and find out if you're registered to vote. Go register to vote, people. It is so important. Being a good theater artist means being a good citizen.

[1:22] Rory O'Malley: Uh, my guest this week is a very, very good friend of mine who I've known from the early days of making it in this business. Um, we went to college together for a little bit. She was a senior when I was a freshman at Carnegie Mellon University. Her name's Beth Crosby, and we ended up in a play as soon as I graduated from school and moved out to Los Angeles.

[1:44] Rory O'Malley: We were in a show together and kind of became lifelong friends because of our shared experience of going to college together and then having um our our first few years struggling in the business. We worked in the same restaurant. We we had a lot of um hard times but fun times together.

[2:04] Rory O'Malley: You would know her from uh her work with the Groundlings and characters she's created like Jessica and Hunter. She's Jessica, that's a their YouTube stars. Uh, she's also been on a lot of television shows like Superstore, Life in Pieces, Speechless, Dr. Ken. Uh, she was on the Jonas Brothers show. Uh, she's done so much, and she's also done a ton of national commercials, which we get into because that's such a specific niche of our business, and I don't know that much about it.

[2:36] Rory O'Malley: And I've had zero success with commercials. And I was so glad I got to sit down and talk with her, especially about waiting tables and working outside of the business. Recently, there was a news story that was put out, which was not news about Geoffrey Owens from the Crosby show working at Trader Joe's to support himself.

[2:58] Rory O'Malley: And it was basically like how sad that this actor who was a recurring actor on a television show in the 80s and early 90s had to work a job outside of the acting field. And I think the entire acting community kind of was shocked that people would shame someone for working in any capacity, but working to continue to survive in this business and to thrive in the world.

[3:31] Rory O'Malley: Um, Geoffrey Owens put it best himself when he said that all work has value. And he spoke so eloquently about it. And Beth also tweeted uh her response, and I knew it was time to talk to Beth because she and I work together in a restaurant and know what it's like to be earning a paycheck somewhere other than where your passion is and how that's all part of the gig.

[3:59] Rory O'Malley: That's all a part of becoming an actor professionally finding ways to supplement your income on the way. So if you're listening to this and you want to be an actor or an artist, and you are earning money through some other means other than your art form, keep going. Keep your head up high because there are plenty of people who absolutely will not do the hard work to get to what they love.

[4:33] Rory O'Malley: And the hard work isn't working really hard on that scene. It's not working really hard on the audition. It's working really hard on your shift at the restaurant. It's working really hard staying after hours at the office for your temp job. It's incredibly hard to do that. And uh if you don't have what it takes to do those things, you're not gonna survive in this business because it's not a ladder we're climbing in this business.

[5:02] Rory O'Malley: It's a roller coaster, and there are lots of ups and downs. And if you don't have a strong enough will to find whatever means you can to keep yourself fed while you pursue your dream, you're not gonna make it. Okay, that's that's uh all I have to say about that. Um Beth has wonderful points, and um, I was so glad I got to talk with her. Here is my interview with Beth Crosby.

[5:28] Rory O'Malley: Hi, Beth.

[5:29] Beth Crosby: Hi.

[5:29] Rory O'Malley: Welcome to Living the Dream.

[5:31] Beth Crosby: I love it. I was so excited to be here.

[5:33] Rory O'Malley: I've wanted to have you on this podcast for a long, long time.

[5:37] Beth Crosby: Good week, at least.

[5:39] Rory O'Malley: Good couple. No, since I started it since I started, because you are a friend of mine who was there the day I got to LA, basically.

[5:51] Beth Crosby: Oh, LA.

[5:53] Rory O'Malley: Oh, yeah. I mean, do you I when I think back to the time of like starting off in this business, I think of having you by my side.

[6:03] Beth Crosby: Oh, I love that. I I I feel the same way too, actually.

[6:07] Beth Crosby: We went to Carnegie Mellon.

[6:09] Rory O'Malley: Yep.

[6:09] Beth Crosby: Uh at that same time where we were different years, but we were the last year.

[6:15] Rory O'Malley: You were a senior and I was a freshman.

[6:17] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[6:19] Rory O'Malley: Okay. Yeah.

[6:20] Beth Crosby: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you were a senior, I was a freshman, and um you were just brilliant in everything you did there. And you were uh musical theater performer, and I was still an actor when I got to to Carnegie Mellon.

[6:35] Beth Crosby: Yeah. Until Josh Groban had classic.

[6:38] Rory O'Malley: Josh Groban!

[6:39] Beth Crosby: Okay, I didn't know this actually about you.

[6:41] Rory O'Malley: I don't know how, until I listened to your podcast.

[6:44] Beth Crosby: Did you know that I was an actor too?

[6:46] Rory O'Malley: When you got to Carnegie Mellon.

[6:47] Beth Crosby: Yep.

[6:48] Rory O'Malley: No, I didn't know that.

[6:49] Beth Crosby: Yep. I auditioned. First of all, okay. Should I just get right into Carnegie Mellon audition story?

[6:54] Beth Crosby: Okay, first of all, I auditioned, I didn't go to Carnegie Mellon first. I went to NYU first. I auditioned for Carnegie Mellon, got fully rejected. Like, not only like wasn't even looked at at my audition.

[7:08] Rory O'Malley: Wow.

[7:09] Beth Crosby: And uh, anyways, then got into NYU, went to NYU for a year, quickly realized after the first semester that it wasn't for me. Uh that's a whole nother story. Um, I love New York though. Like New York was incredible. Loved every second of it, but the school, I wasn't like thrilled with, so I was like, you know what? I'm gonna see if I can get in to a different school.

[7:29] Beth Crosby: So I'm like, I'll just fucking audition for Carnegie Mellon again, because why not?

[7:32] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[7:33] Beth Crosby: And I was like, but I'm gonna do it just as an actor this time because maybe my voice wasn't so great at the time. I did I wasn't super confident about my singing voice. And so I auditioned uh for Don Wadsworth and it went fine, I guess. And yeah, I was in the dorm at NYU when I got my acceptance letter to Carnegie Mellon.

[7:53] Rory O'Malley: Wow, yeah.

[7:54] Beth Crosby: And I remember I went to the D, whatever the dean or whatever of NYU to explain why I'm leaving. And she was like, she was like, where are you going? Why are you leaving? I'm like, I'm well, I'm actually gonna go to Carnegie Mellon. She was like, Oh, okay, here. And then she just like signed it and was like, good idea, go for it, basically.

[8:11] Beth Crosby: Yeah, and uh anyway, so then I got as an actor, and uh the first couple weeks, they were like, we have room we for we just want to see if any of the actors want to be musical theater people. So me and Matt Bo Matt Bomer actually uh sang, I sang I don't know how to love them from Jesus Christ Superstar. That was my like go-to. And yeah, I don't know.

[8:27] Rory O'Malley: And then you're like, oh, I'm in musical theater now.

[8:31] Beth Crosby: Yeah, I have that same story kind of I didn't audition for any musical theater schools, but then when I didn't at all any, okay. And then when I went to um I went to the audition in Chicago for Carnegie Mellon, and they said, Oh, well, it says you can sing here too. Do you want to audition for a musical theater school? And I was like, Oh, okay.

[8:53] Beth Crosby: And so I I I auditioned, I sang, and I thought I did okay, but then I had to dance. And I couldn't dance at all.

[9:00] Rory O'Malley: Okay.

[9:01] Beth Crosby: And so I got my acceptance letter from Carnegie Mellon. It was for just acting. And I was like, oh, okay, great. You know, it's like why I wanted to go there. And so, but then when I got there, they did the same thing, and they were like, Do you you should everyone all the actors should audition?

[9:15] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[9:16] Beth Crosby: So I auditioned again.

[9:17] Rory O'Malley: Okay.

[9:17] Beth Crosby: Same result. They're like, no, you can't do it.

[9:19] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god.

[9:20] Beth Crosby: They're like again. I was like, no, thank you for keeping, you know, pulling this little carrot dangling in front of me. And confirming that I am not accepted into your program. I get it.

[9:30] Beth Crosby: Yeah. But I but I started studying privately with the uh voice teacher there, Claudia Bennack.

[9:36] Rory O'Malley: Oh, Claudia, yeah.

[9:37] Beth Crosby: So I worked with her, and she just so happened to be teaching Josh Groban as well. So when Josh got his record deal freshman year and was like, yeah, I'm gonna leave. Sure. She said, like, I'm gonna try to get you into the program.

[9:50] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god, that's great.

[9:51] Beth Crosby: Which is like a month and a half into the first semester. Yeah. So yeah, it was crazy.

[9:57] Beth Crosby: Crazy. And also, like, I look at the the meat of the Carnegie Mellon experience as the acting experience. It's sets it apart from programs.

[10:09] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[10:09] Beth Crosby: The singing was just like you had, I think it was like two classes. Like you had singing lessons, and then you had performance classes for singing, which was voice lab.

[10:20] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[10:20] Beth Crosby: Oh my god. Or we all had to sing in front of each other all the different years. Terrifying. Still to this day, I I don't think I've been more nervous to do anything.

[10:28] Rory O'Malley: I mean, honestly, like, have you felt that way?

[10:30] Beth Crosby: I feel like I was so I well, I'm a person who doesn't like performing in front of people I know.

[10:37] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, like I I mean I'll be scary.

[10:39] Beth Crosby: Yeah, I'll do it and I've done it, of course, but I'd rather not know who's in the audience.

[10:43] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[10:44] Beth Crosby: I mean, I'll perform for a five thousand seat theater if I don't know any of these people.

[10:48] Rory O'Malley: I mean, and be told.

[10:50] Beth Crosby: So you don't have to know who's gonna be.

[10:52] Rory O'Malley: Exactly.

[10:52] Beth Crosby: But doing like anyways, no, and you would see all of your fellow classmates watching you, you know, not judging you, but come on.

[11:02] Rory O'Malley: Oh, please.

[11:02] Beth Crosby: Everyone's being judged.

[11:03] Rory O'Malley: Oh, for sure.

[11:04] Beth Crosby: Well, we were just being judged nonstop.

[11:06] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[11:06] Beth Crosby: Like at Carnegie Mellon. Yes, you know. You're under a microscope and it's it's very intense.

[11:12] Rory O'Malley: So it's a very bonding experience.

[11:13] Beth Crosby: And I remember when I sang for the first time in Voice Lab, you came up to me and told me that I did a good job.

[11:20] Rory O'Malley: I remember that.

[11:21] Beth Crosby: Um I remember that moment. I remember seeing you, Rory. Like, I remember there was like a kite situation where you're singing about a sort of thing.

[11:31] Rory O'Malley: You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

[11:33] Beth Crosby: Okay, and I remember because I remember all the freshmen coming in.

[11:36] Rory O'Malley: Oh, fully, like in my head, you were like flying a kite inside the rehearsal room.

[11:41] Beth Crosby: And I remember because I wanted to be really supportive of all the freshmen because I just I remember what it was like.

[11:46] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[11:46] Beth Crosby: But Rory, you were special. You're a very special person to me to this day. Like I just remember seeing you because some of those freshmen weren't. I mean, everyone was great, but you they weren't as great as you.

[11:59] Rory O'Malley: Like you were special to me.

[12:00] Beth Crosby: And you you s and I just like, I don't know, something about you, I just was like gravitated towards you. I was like, I love him. He's incredible, he's insanely talented, and I wanna like know this kid. And um, I don't know. I just I remember that moment.

[12:14] Rory O'Malley: Well, it meant a lot to me. Like, clearly, it's was not yesterday, and I still remember you giving me that compliment.

[12:21] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[12:22] Rory O'Malley: Because, you know, you you're I was so scared because I had I had twice at that point been turned away from getting to sing with all of you.

[12:30] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[12:31] Rory O'Malley: So the fact that it was like, okay, let's give this guy a chance, and it was kind of pointed because it was clear to everyone that I was filling a spot and you know, you know, the alternate or something.

[12:43] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[12:43] Rory O'Malley: So it took, it was a lot of pressure in that moment to prove myself to people who I thought were just you know the most talented singer or actors on the planet.

[12:53] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[12:53] Rory O'Malley: Um it was it was a it was healthy experience in overall, I think, because everyone was really supportive of each other.

[13:04] Beth Crosby: And students, the student body really was. Like overall, we really took care of each other and continue to like I think so.

[13:12] Rory O'Malley: We're you when you go through something that intense, you kind of become war buddies for the rest of your life.

[13:19] Beth Crosby: It's like going to war together.

[13:21] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[13:21] Beth Crosby: That Carnegie Mellon and then doing the Groundling Sunday company for me were two very similar experiences in that it was like going to war.

[13:28] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[13:28] Beth Crosby: And the people I went with are like lifelong friends of mine. Even the ones that it's like even if you don't stay in touch with everyone, I could call anybody up.

[13:35] Rory O'Malley: Absolutely.

[13:36] Beth Crosby: And they'd be like, oh my god, hi, what's going on? Or like, what do you need, or how could I help you? Or you know what I mean?

[13:41] Rory O'Malley: Oh, yeah.

[13:42] Beth Crosby: And you just get each other on a level that I feel like you don't with other some other people.

[13:46] Rory O'Malley: Well, we were we had another shared experience right out of when I got to when I got to LA.

[13:54] Beth Crosby: Oh my god, yes.

[13:55] Rory O'Malley: Yes, our our uh my first performance of anything outside of Carnegie Mellon was a show called Jesus' Kid Brother.

[14:02] Beth Crosby: That was your first performance.

[14:03] Rory O'Malley: Yes, I had I had just gotten to LA. I literally drove.

[14:07] Beth Crosby: You went from Carnegie Mellon to LA.

[14:09] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[14:11] Beth Crosby: What?

[14:12] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[14:12] Beth Crosby: Why didn't you go to New York?

[14:13] Rory O'Malley: Because of Mary Ann Daniels.

[14:15] Beth Crosby: Oh, that's right, that's right.

[14:16] Rory O'Malley: My manager.

[14:17] Beth Crosby: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we gotta like let people in on what we're talking about here. There's a lot of shared history.

[14:22] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, sorry, guys.

[14:32] Rory O'Malley: I mean, that was that was. Same with me. Same with me. Yeah. Yeah. And then we did our showcase there, and it was crickets. No one wanted to work with me. Yeah. No one wanted my headshot even. It was, it was about as poorly as it could go. And to the point where a professor at Carnegie Mellon went up to my mom at graduation and said, I'm so sorry about Rory's experience in showcase in New York. And I hadn't shared anything with my mom. Oh no. She was like, whatever. Oh no, no, I know. I was like, no, Mom, it's fine. It's all good. Yeah. We're gonna go to LA and I'm sure things will be better. Yeah, no pressure. Yeah. So then I did with no plans to move there. Right. But I had one person to manage.

Yes. Marianne Daniels. God bless her. She saw it. She saw what everyone else saw. She also saw something in anyone who would work with her. Well, you know what? So God bless her. She she worked with me. She was a manager. Yeah. And uh she was special. And she she made phone calls for me. You know, like nobody else was gonna pick up the phone for Rory O'Malley back then. And so I'm very grateful for it. But one of the auditions she got me was for a 99 seat theater production, which means you don't get paid anything. No. Um uh it was called Jesus' Kid Brother. And it was a play about uh Larry Christ. If Jesus had a brother, a younger brother named Larry Christmas. It was literally just about Jesus' kid brother.

Literally is what it was. Yes, and I played like 12 roles, and then the last one was I was Jesus at the end. Yes. You've had a very long career playing different forms of Jesus, I feel like what like three different times at least. I have. I've done a lot of biblical characters. Biblical characters, yeah. On Broadway. Yeah. You've done one. Yes. Yeah. Mm Moroni. Yeah. Yeah. I remember because when I saw you in Book of Mormon, I was not prepared to see you come out in that robe. And I had full flashbacks of us being in that 99C theater wearing playing that character or something like that. And dresses. Yes. Lots of robes. Yes. Um, so we were in this show that was, it was before I was like were you equity?

Yeah, you were equity because you had worked a bunch at uh Summerstock Theaters. Yeah, I got my equity card at Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera. Yeah. Yeah. I never I never got into any of those productions. To be fair, I'm pretty sure I only got in because I was dancing. Because I was a dancer. So you were working like while you were in Carnegie Melt. You were you were there were some folks at CMU who were like already professional actors in my mind, and I just was not one of those people. I was like I think I mean I didn't become equity for a few years out of college, I think. But I was trying. I was very hard. Okay, yeah. Um so we did the show and we did it, we rehearsed for eight weeks. Yeah.

That's all right. By the way, that is a stupid long time to rehearse. Oh, at night, right. We didn't rehearse during the day, so we were rehearsing for three hours a night. Well, everyone's doing their day jobs. Exactly. Because this didn't pay. No. So yeah. Yeah, so we but it was with a really fun cast, a really great group of people. Talented. Very talented. And um, we took this show that like was, you know, who would nobody thought anything of it really? It was just gonna be this show on Santa Monica Boulevard. Right. And it we did it for the rest of the year. It was like from the summer until Christmas. So we kind of all bonded, and and that was just like sealed the deal for me and you, I think.

Yeah, no, we did oh we're but we're buddies, we're friends, and we're in this together, and yeah, that was and I LA was still new to me because I don't know if you know, I left I went to New York after Carnegie Mellon because I had LA wasn't even an option, like in my brain. Um I loved like sitcoms, I loved comedy, but I was I grew up dancing and I was like dancing professionally, and I was like, I want to do Broadway. That's like I don't care what it is, I just want to do theater and and then had our showcase. New York was like a dead zone for me. I had one well, I had one agent that was interested. Um, and I but I was really bummed about that. Then we went to LA. I had like written my monologue for LA Showcase.

I was like, fuck it. I was like, I don't want to go to LA and I'll just do whatever, and I'm just I don't care, and I'll just like let's just try this one that I wrote, and it actually went really well, yeah. And I still went to New York, I still was like, let me take this, you know. I like anyways. I still went to New York, and uh my year in New York after I graduated college was like the worst year of my life. Like it was awful. I got to New York, I did have an agent, I was auditioning um for Broadway, which was like that was my dream, but I was so nervous. I don't think I was like, I don't think I was quite ready yet. Like you can be graduated from the best school and you know have the best training.

But if you don't have like the actual experience of auditioning with these people that are doing it, at least for me, I wasn't, I think I needed a good year or two to just like get my bearings to to know who you are outside of the bubble of uh educational system. Absolutely. Yeah. And anyways, I moved to New York and started auditioning and promptly broke my foot. Right. Yeah. And which was as a dancer was like awful. Took you out of the game. It took me out of the game. And so I left for a little bit to go heal my foot. I came back to New York and I was like, you know what? My foot's fucking broken. I can't be showing up to these auditions with crutches. So I mean, I could have, but that would have been crazy.

I mean, I walked into my agent's office in crutches, and they all were like laughing and rolling their eyes at me. And I was like, oh my God, what's happening? And uh, so I was like, you know, I'm I've always wanted to do the groundlings. I loved writing, I loved comedy. I started doing improv in New York and really started to fall in love with it. And I was like, let me just go to LA for the summer and see, you know, just see what happens. By then my foot will be healed, and I'll like go back to New York. Fell in love with the groundlings, fell in love with comedy, the whole like comedy scene, and still was gonna go back to New York. Went back to New York and my apartment burned down, and then 9 11 happened.

Oh yeah. And I was like, you know what? I think I should maybe just like take give a take a break from New York. It's kind of like the universe saying, like you should like you love LA, go to LA. So I went to LA and then I've just been in LA ever since. It's amazing. I I knew I remember all of the this is all coming back to me. Yes. All those stories of your New York experience. That's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. How I think that what's the hardest part when you're an artist is kind of having this dream. And then it doesn't happen in the way that you thought it was going to be, or it completely changes. And it's hard because when you're a kid and you're having these visions of being on Broadway, and then all of a sudden your dream changes and you fall in love with the groundlings when you probably didn't even know what the groundlings was as a kid.

So how could that be your dream? Yeah. How do you make that transition in your mind and in your heart really to say like it's okay to change what your passion is and to pursue this? I mean, I guess all of those things happening really helped. All of those things helped. Yeah, they really helped because I don't know if I would have done it. Like I think I would have, I think I would have pursued comedy in Improv in New York at the time the Upright Citizens Brigade was picking up. And I mean, I lived there. Like I was like, oh my God, this is in between going and doing like my 16 bars that no one was like paying attention to. Um, I was like, my outlet was like going to Improv at Uprise Citizens Brigade and all these different places.

But it still was like, oh, and I'd always dreamed of like Saturday Night Live was always my favorite show growing up. And I don't know if you ever watched SC TV. Yeah. It's like was my as a kid, they played old reruns of that, and it was like I watched that when I was like eight. Andrew Martin, Martin Short, John Candy. All those geniuses. Yeah, Eugene Loving. And yeah, you do not. So I was like, well, I'd always wanted that, but for some reason I thought that just wasn't an option for me. I don't know. I just was like, I was a dance. I was a dancer. I think because I was a dancer, and it just those were different kinds of different type of people. I don't know. Like, but isn't it funny how like when you're a kid you feel like you've been set on a track?

Yes. And I think we do it constantly. Like, even now at our age, like you're like, oh no, I'm in this track. I couldn't possibly do any of these other things. I know. How do you how did you switch tracks? How did you make that jump? Just the life circumstances or it wasn't just that. It well, first I remember it at Carnegie Mellon, we had a um a writing assignment, like uh in in some drama class. It was the only time the actors were called upon to write, because God forbid we have voice. Try to be, yeah, have our own voice. And uh, and I I'd written a monologue and I performed it, and it had gotten a better response than anything I had done ever at Carnegie Mellon. Like, and this is me, oh, and at the time, and it was it was a comedy monologue, and it was at the time where I was really trying to be in dramatic actress.

Like I was trying to cry in every scene. Right. And I remember one time it was Don actually, Don Wadsworth who was a uh teacher at our school. Like, it was like a private meeting I was having with him, and he was like, you know, I think you you really kind of have an eye for comedy, and I was like devastated because I just wanted to be a real dramatic actress. I wanted to be Caroline Carmelo in parade. Like I wanted to be like just belting and like dramatic and like sobbing while I'm belting. And uh yeah, and so what so I did I wrote this monologue, it got a big response, and I remember that feeling of like this is this feels really special to me, and this is like a feeling I haven't had, and it's very empowering, and I feel I don't know.

You know when you have those moments on stage where you're like, oh my god, this is like a breakthrough moment for me, kind of. And um, so I had that moment, and then I promptly ignored it and did the opposite. And uh yeah, and then um actually it was seeing other people who had had kind of made the transition before me. My friend, uh a friend Margie McGee, who's now a comedy writer out here in LA, she's insanely talented. She was a dancer and a musical theater person that I had become friends with who just like packed it in and moved to LA and started writing at the groundlings. And I was like, oh my god. Like I think it was seeing someone else do that that gave me the courage to do it. And it still it took years. Still to this day, I I have dreams of like going back and doing musical theater, which I I've continued to do it.

[25:38] Beth Crosby: Um and what I was what like I've at the Groundlings, I've tended to write like a lot of musical stuff. Um I love like musical improv. Um so I think that part of you never goes away. And I think it can even enhance that part. Like I'm sure your experience doing improv is like it makes everything better.

[26:01] Rory O'Malley: Yes, it's basically like going back to school, just being on a stage.

[26:06] Beth Crosby: Like I just did the Groundlings have a—I know, and you didn't tell me.

[26:10] Rory O'Malley: I didn't tell anyone.

[26:12] Beth Crosby: I immediately—I know, but I just get it nervous.

[26:15] Rory O'Malley: I get it.

[26:16] Beth Crosby: And then I kind of just pretend like it's not happening. Yeah, but I know that I need to do it, that it's fun and great, and they'll support me. But it's the show where they have a guest and you're improvising with the greatest improvisers in the world, the Groundlings. And in the world, it's them and Upright Citizens Brigade, and then like I don't even know who else.

[26:37] Rory O'Malley: No, I mean it's—and you know.

[26:39] Beth Crosby: And Second City. The fact that they would let me on a stage with them is insanity.

[26:45] Rory O'Malley: It's not insanity.

[26:46] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[26:47] Rory O'Malley: No, I mean it was it's so much fun and um Mitch uh Silpa and Edie Patterson were in the show. So, you know, they like are so good at supporting whoever is the guest and making us look better.

[27:01] Beth Crosby: Yeah. Um but it is like it's like a crash course in all of the things that we need to remember as performers.

[27:10] Rory O'Malley: I know.

[27:11] Beth Crosby: It really like jolts you alive to be like, this is what it means to be in the moment to communicate with an audience literally in that second of whatever their thoughts are, you're giving you reflecting right back to them. So it's and it's such an adrenaline rush and crazy, and I can only imagine when you're forming who you are as an artist to be getting that stimulation and have that be your community because the comedy community out here in Los Angeles is basically the closest thing I see to the Broadway theater community in New York.

[27:47] Rory O'Malley: Wow.

[27:47] Beth Crosby: Yeah, because there's no really other group of people who kind of relate to each other in that way as artists, you know, out here.

[27:47] Rory O'Malley: It's true, it's true.

[28:01] Beth Crosby: I mean, you know, I've been in different acting schools out here in LA, and you get community there, but it's different. It's like you because it's they're all different types of actors too. There's the dramatic person, there's the one who is, you know, is hilarious but doesn't want to do improv. But when you're with other people who are straight up comedy people who want to get on stage and scare the shit out of themselves every night and jump off that edge to do improv to expose themselves by writing. Um it's I don't know, it's it is a tribe. I think that is what attracted me to the Groundlings and to comedy is like that tribe, you know, if for lack of a better word, sounds so cheesy. But like I feel like I found like my people.

[28:44] Rory O'Malley: You do know what I mean.

[28:45] Beth Crosby: You did like, and I feel like you have too, like, because I think of you as a musical theater performer, but I also think of you as like a comedy person who writes and well the thing is is that I have regret that I did not follow the path of Groundlings, UCB or Second City that I didn't do one of those because I love it so much.

[29:07] Beth Crosby: Yeah, and I wish that I was that it because you know, I can do it now, but it really is a it's like a school, so you really do have to go through a lot of time there to kind of be a part of that group.

[29:20] Rory O'Malley: You have to earn it.

[29:21] Beth Crosby: Sure.

[29:22] Rory O'Malley: And I was actually enrolled in the Groundlings with Josh Gad.

[29:28] Beth Crosby: We were both taking classes.

[29:29] Rory O'Malley: So crazy.

[29:30] Beth Crosby: And I think you guys turned out okay though.

[29:33] Rory O'Malley: I think too, yeah.

[29:34] Beth Crosby: But it's you know, it would have been so awesome if I would have kept going. But the reason I left is because one, I was working like two restaurant jobs, and then um I got a uh a show with the Troubadour Theater Company here in Los Angeles that does musicals of pop music and Shakespeare and they were exactly the right fit for me of my tribe.

[29:58] Rory O'Malley: Exactly.

[29:59] Beth Crosby: Yeah, and definitely taught me how to be funny on a stage in a way that UCB or Groundlings would be. But speaking of uh waiting on tables and restaurants.

[30:10] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god, please.

[30:10] Beth Crosby: We also worked at the Marmalade Cafe in the Grove, which was my second restaurant that I worked at in the Grove. I also worked at the Wood Ranch when I first moved there.

[30:22] Rory O'Malley: Wait, you worked at the Wood Ranch first and then Marmalade?

[30:25] Beth Crosby: Yes.

[30:25] Rory O'Malley: No.

[30:26] Beth Crosby: And then I got fired from the Wood Ranch.

[30:28] Rory O'Malley: Why?

[30:29] Beth Crosby: Well, because I like did a lot of things.

[30:31] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[30:32] Beth Crosby: Like that's where I was, I got a job there, and then I got Jesus' Kid Brother.

[30:36] Rory O'Malley: Right, okay.

[30:37] Beth Crosby: And then I was like, I gotta go. I think I have this great acting gig, and they were like, fine, and then I found out we don't get paid, and I was like, oh, actually, can I have more shifts?

[30:45] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, yeah.

[30:46] Beth Crosby: And um, so I worked there for like almost a year.

[30:50] Rory O'Malley: Okay.

[30:50] Beth Crosby: And then got something else, and they were like, this isn't working out.

[30:54] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[30:55] Beth Crosby: And then you got me a job at the Marmalade Cafe.

[30:58] Rory O'Malley: Well, that's right.

[30:59] Beth Crosby: And I, oh my god, Rory, I still have PTSD when I walk by there. Like, I there's a lot of great other servers. They were great servers.

[31:06] Rory O'Malley: I think I say PTSD just because for me, waiting tables was just really hard.

[31:13] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[31:14] Rory O'Malley: I mean I was terrible at it.

[31:15] Beth Crosby: Oh, I'm sure you were great.

[31:16] Rory O'Malley: I don't remember if you were good or bad.

[31:18] Beth Crosby: But I was terrible. There was I always tell this story. One of my first tables in that first month, there was um sorry.

[31:30] Rory O'Malley: It's okay.

[31:31] Beth Crosby: Um there was a gay couple, and they were so mad at me because I didn't know what Chipotle mayonnaise was. I thought it was a brand. And I was like, I don't think we have that, and like they were like, Oh, you're an idiot. They left me, they left me a tip for one penny and wrote on it, You suck.

[31:52] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god, that's how I started.

[31:55] Beth Crosby: Yeah, at the Grove. So yeah, I definitely have PTSD from my time. I was terrible.

[32:00] Rory O'Malley: You were, and I also carried around, we had to like sell wine.

[32:04] Beth Crosby: Oh, I didn't know anything about wine. I mean, I'm you know, like Milwaukee's best kind of drinker at the end of college.

[32:11] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, at the time.

[32:12] Beth Crosby: More of a beer person.

[32:14] Rory O'Malley: Exactly.

[32:14] Beth Crosby: There's no like no way was I gonna know what wine to pair with your meal.

[32:19] Rory O'Malley: No.

[32:20] Beth Crosby: And they were in the Grove, but they wanted to act like we were some kind of wine restaurant.

[32:24] Rory O'Malley: Oh god, I know.

[32:25] Beth Crosby: And I didn't know how to open a bottle of wine with a wine key.

[32:29] Rory O'Malley: Oh.

[32:30] Beth Crosby: So I carried around the one with the big arms.

[32:32] Rory O'Malley: Oh no.

[32:33] Beth Crosby: Do you know the twist ones? And then you push the arms down. It's like I carried that in my apron. Oh, yeah. And I remember I just kept stabbing me.

[32:41] Rory O'Malley: The whole shift.

[32:42] Beth Crosby: Oh my god. That's it was bad.

[32:45] Rory O'Malley: It was bad.

[32:46] Beth Crosby: I just remember waiting on a blind person who first made gave me and paid who a blind person who paid for his sand. First of all, I had to read the whole menu to him, which is fine. But then he he paid me in in um coins in change and didn't leave a tip. And that's all fine. But it j but it's just I remember one guy who was um had to keep leaving to go smoke cigarettes, but also had an oxygen tank.

[33:15] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god.

[33:16] Beth Crosby: And who was dangerous? It's dangerous. And was in a rascal, you know, those automatic things. Who um yelled at me because I he wanted me to cut his quesadilla, and I was like leaving the table and he grabbed my arm. And yeah, there's just so many of those stories of just, I mean, you're just waiting tables. Like to this day, I'll tip, I tip like 25, 30%.

[33:36] Rory O'Malley: You have to.

[33:37] Beth Crosby: You have to. Yeah. No, I mean, but I look back at that time and and many of the jobs that I had, because that was certainly not the last one that give me the appreciation for any time I'm actually acting and getting paid for it.

[33:52] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god.

[33:52] Beth Crosby: I am just so grateful.

[33:55] Rory O'Malley: Same.

[33:55] Beth Crosby: And and so happy.

[33:57] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[33:58] Beth Crosby: And I found that there are some people who don't have that gift of having to have worked in those situations. So when they are still at when they get are getting paid as an actor, they don't even feel it.

[34:11] Rory O'Malley: I know.

[34:12] Beth Crosby: Um there was recently the Geoffrey Owens situation. The actor from uh The Cosby Show, and he is or was working in Trader Joe's, and a photo was taken of him and put into publication, I think on like Fox News or something.

[34:32] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[34:33] Beth Crosby: Garbage.

[34:34] Rory O'Malley: Yes, garbage.

[34:35] Beth Crosby: Saying, like, oh, look at this former, you know, TV star, now he has to work at Trader Joe's, how sad. And it was just such a such a uh simple-minded view of what it means to and what it takes to be an actor in our business.

[34:52] Rory O'Malley: And you had a you had a great tweet about it. And uh the the entire acting community really came to so to support him.

[35:00] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[35:01] Rory O'Malley: Um what do you what are your what were some of your jobs and how do you feel about that that work outside work?

[35:09] Beth Crosby: Right. Well, you know, when I saw so I saw um that story come out before the community like really came behind it I saw it like right when it came out um and um because I spend too much time on social media uh while my daughter's take uh napping and I was devastated for him devastated because I've been there you've been there everyone's been there well most of the people I know have been there and and I felt bad for him but I felt bad for myself too because even to this day um if I ever have to do anything that's not acting that involves making money I or up until recently I have had a little bit of shame around it I think deep down and then I've had to like pull myself out of it especially after having a baby I'm like it doesn't matter like I have to provide for this person what matters is you know taking care of my family um so I was really up to I was like super bummed about it and then once I saw the reaction from the community and um the acting community yeah and then also people that aren't actors that came out you know people who are like uh my dad worked in a coal mine for fuck's sake and he was the best man I knew right or like you know people that have regular jobs God forbid anyone's like working nine to five it really inspired me and really made me proud of the time I had spent working you know and not to say I mean no one really wants to I mean, great it'd be great if we all were, you know, on The Big Bang Theory.

[36:50] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[36:50] Beth Crosby: You know, and raking in six figures or seven figures constantly. But um, but the reality is like 97% of SAG actors like don't make don't make their living acting.

[37:03] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[37:03] Beth Crosby: Which is crazy. And uh, and I don't think anyone gets it until you do it. I mean, people told I people could have told us that at Carnegie Mellon, and I would have been like, oh, that's sad for those 97% of people. I'm the 3% that is never ever gonna have to experience that.

[37:17] Rory O'Malley: Do you know what I mean?

[37:18] Beth Crosby: Absolutely. I mean, it's one, it's again, one of the reasons that I started this podcast is try to try to get young people to understand that 100% of us will be in that 97% at some time.

[37:33] Rory O'Malley: At some point.

[37:34] Beth Crosby: You you cannot decide to be an actor and have finding other avenues and ways to have income. Um have it be had be opposed to that. Like that is part of your art. It's part of finding your way as an artist, is finding other ways to feed yourself while you continue to pursue your passion.

[37:59] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[37:59] Beth Crosby: And I remember I remember graduating and a friend of mine who was had graduated with me, was um, was like, oh my god, I just ran into this guy who I know who's like a Tony, I think he was like a Tony nominee. Who and he's like, Oh, I asked him how he's doing, and he's like, Oh, well, I just got my real estate license and I'm working on selling these things. And he and my friend was like, isn't that so sad? And at the time I remember being thinking like, oh my god, that's crazy. But now I like actors, especially my age, who have kids who also have their real estate license or something else, I think are so fucking smart.

[38:35] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[38:36] Beth Crosby: Because even if you are on The Big Bang Theory, great, but that is even gonna end at some point. And like, good for you if you can make that carry you through till you die. But I always think having other ways to make money, no matter what kind of money you're making now, is super smart.

[38:54] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[38:54] Beth Crosby: And it's not just about making money. It's the fact that like at some point it becomes about defining yourself as even more of just than just an actor.

[39:05] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[39:06] Beth Crosby: As somebody who can like do stuff in the world that isn't just about being up on a stage or in front of a camera, like to be useful to society.

[39:15] Rory O'Malley: Society.

[39:16] Beth Crosby: I know. To do something. Well, and that I feel like has been like the biggest journey for, I feel like for me that that, especially the first few years out of school that I spent not making money as an actor, mostly making or making all my money doing side jobs and performing for free all over LA, which by the way, if you do theater in LA, you're mostly just doing it for free. You know what I mean? Um, not to say that that and it they were incredible experiences, you know, but um, but you're not really gonna get paid.

[39:47] Rory O'Malley: No.

[39:47] Beth Crosby: And but that was such a huge lesson for me in learning that like I am more than just an actor and a or a dancer, you know. And I think I hung so much of my identity on that and my self-worth on that, you know. Like, and I think I still struggle to this day of like, oh, if I'm not working or if I don't get this job, what does that mean about who I am or my self-worth?

[40:13] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[40:13] Beth Crosby: And thank God I go to therapy, I do lots of things, like to stay healthy as a person, that I can pull myself out of that and be reminded. And especially having a kid has really changed my um thinking.

[40:29] Rory O'Malley: Let's talk about that.

[40:30] Beth Crosby: So you you have a beautiful little girl.

[40:33] Rory O'Malley: I do.

[40:34] Beth Crosby: And uh I know that she's your everything.

[40:37] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[40:38] Beth Crosby: And and how much you wanted to have her, yeah, and how happy she makes you. But it definitely is it's for women especially, yeah. It affects your entire life, not just your career, but your entire life.

[40:53] Rory O'Malley: So, how has that affected um your career and how do you feel about it? And how do you manage both of those things?

[41:02] Beth Crosby: Well, she's only two, so I'm still like, I feel like I'm still really in it. You know what I mean? Like in my whole, like the parenting bubble.

[41:02] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[41:02] Beth Crosby: I feel like I'm just starting to come out of like the closet, the parenting closet, and like be a person. But I think like the short version is um it definitely has put into perspective um like what um what performing means to me, and that at the end of the day, it is an amazing creative outlet, but it also is a job, right? And it's not everything that I am. And I think before I had my daughter, even up until right before I had my daughter, even though I had like feel like I had a healthy relationship with the business, I still could go to an audition and say it didn't go great and like spend the rest of the day obsessing over it, or like beating myself up about it, or um like being super nervous before, or just you know, um, or comparing myself to other people, or um, and after having a kid, like I don't fucking have time.

[42:07] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[42:08] Beth Crosby: Like I I prepare, uh like she goes to bed at night, I'm exhausted, but I'll spend that time preparing the material, whatever. I'll coach on it quickly, and then like the next morning I'm up with her, I'm getting her situated. I'm lucky if I get like a half an hour before my audition to like have any time to myself. I'll do the audition and then I'm done and I gotta go right back to being a mom. And so that's I don't have to have the time or the luxury to like spend like obsessing over stuff like that. And um you know if an audition went shitty or if I didn't get this or if you know I just can turn off my phone and spend like a minute with her and I'm like oh my god this is what's important do you know what I mean? Like this is at least for me right now this is the most important thing to me, you know. And there's more out there than you know booking, whatever commercial.

[43:02] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[43:03] Beth Crosby: It reprioritizes exactly yeah everything.

[43:06] Rory O'Malley: Yeah it does gives you that that identity that we used was just laser beam focus on Beth Crosby, the actress.

[43:15] Beth Crosby: Right.

[43:15] Rory O'Malley: It now includes mom and wife. You you also have a husband who's in the business. He's a writer.

[43:20] Beth Crosby: Yeah how is that uh both being a part of the business how is that do you see that as being a plus? What are the the downsides as well?

[43:31] Beth Crosby: You know what it's it's it's good and it's difficult at the same time. It's good because you understand each other.

[43:39] Beth Crosby: Like we get that our schedule is like king. Do you know what I mean? In that like our schedule varies day to day. I don't know what auditions I'm getting until the night before. You're lucky if you get your audition two days before. Do you know what I mean? In LA at least. And um, and if you book a job, it could be like, oh, you shoot tomorrow or the next day. And um, and same with him as a writer, as a director. Um, so we get that like he's leaving for Japan in two days for 10 days.

[44:09] Rory O'Malley: Oh wow.

[44:09] Beth Crosby: Yeah. And I uh booked a thing that's gonna shoot next week. And we I just found that out. And so like I was gonna book out and not work at all those those 10 days, but like I want to do this job. So now we have to like figure out what do we do with our daughter. And so Well, Gerald and I are here.

[44:27] Rory O'Malley: Oh, okay.

[44:28] Beth Crosby: So we'll talk about that after. Okay, I love that. Okay, great. Um, but it's good because you both and you both understand the ups and the downs of it, like of the business.

[44:35] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[44:36] Beth Crosby: On the flip side, um, we do have to turn it off at turn it off, which is your catchphrase.

[44:44] Rory O'Malley: You can say it, I can't say it anymore.

[44:45] Beth Crosby: Well, yeah. Uh, when I when we get home at night sometimes, like sometimes we'll we just have to say, you know what, yeah, let's not talk about the business right now. I just want to like be a person and talk to you about other things because you've got to you have to turn it off sometimes. It can't be 24-7. I mean, it can, but you'll go crazy particularly healthy.

[45:05] Rory O'Malley: No, I mean that's one of the best parts about being with somebody who's not in the business, yeah, is that he's like, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Come back to reality. None of this is important, and I'm tired of hearing you complain about things that aren't real.

[45:18] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[45:19] Rory O'Malley: So and I want to say that to my husband sometimes, but I'll like gently say it to him, you know, because um, because I'm he has to say he says that to me too, where he's like, I can't hear about your Applebee's audition anymore, whatever, you know.

[45:33] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[45:33] Rory O'Malley: So um Yeah, it's it's nice to have the somebody who understands, but it's also like a trap because you can both feel like that's live in that bubble.

[45:44] Beth Crosby: Absolutely.

[45:45] Rory O'Malley: But I feel like you guys have done such a great job of straddling that line and and making sure that you are are well balanced. And obviously, yeah, your daughter has added so much to your life.

[45:57] Beth Crosby: Yeah, it's been it's amazing. It's crazy though. I don't know how people do it. Like uh the show you're on, the showrunner um Jamie Dembo.

[46:04] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, I was just telling you it's such an inspiration to me because she has two kids and she's showrunning the show, and that's like what I aspire to be. Like, I want to be that working mom, yeah, but I'm struggling because like when I go do work, I love it, but I hate being away from her at the same time.

[46:22] Beth Crosby: And it's like I want to say yes to everything, but I also want to be the perfect stay-at-home mom. So it's like, I don't know, as a woman, it's tough. It's like you can work and have it all and not really be there all day for your kid, or you could be there all day for your kid, and then like what about your career? So I'm really trying to find that balance. It's like a huge it's brand new struggle for me that I'm trying to you know, like the uh I was raised in Cleveland by a single mom who was an accountant, and she also had like other she also like worked at a bar when she needed to as a bartender, yeah.

[46:56] Rory O'Malley: Uh and I was, you know, going to daycare, I was, you know, always going to somewhere else after school, and there was no question of like, is this right or not, you know, like working or not working.

[47:11] Beth Crosby: My mom had to work, yeah.

[47:12] Rory O'Malley: It was like she's gotta do it so that we can eat. And I would say that there's hard things about that for sure, but the fact that I got to see my mom provide for me, and that she I felt like I was always taken care of and loved, and I knew that when she came home from work or picked me up, that the hug that I got from her and the smile was so important. And it was special.

[47:37] Beth Crosby: So I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is I think that kids respect when you're working and especially can see that it's for them.

[47:49] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[47:49] Beth Crosby: You know?

[47:50] Rory O'Malley: Well, that makes me, you know, honestly, that makes me feel good to hear it. Really makes me feel good to hear that because you know, my mom didn't work, and uh, she was an incredible mom, but she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and I love being a mom, yeah, but I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom, like because I I do love working, like and I don't know, I love working, I love bringing in an income.

[48:12] Beth Crosby: Um, we're a dual-income household, it's not like one of us is right carrying the other.

[48:17] Rory O'Malley: So um, and so I I don't know, that's what I hope for when I have to say goodbye to Gracie or when I to go to an audition, or when I bring her to my auditions, yeah, which sometimes I'm like, uh, call child protective services, I'm leaving you outside the door while I'm going to change it.

[48:32] Beth Crosby: But especially like like at a commercial audition or something that can be a lot faster.

[48:36] Rory O'Malley: Super fast, yeah.

[48:37] Beth Crosby: There's like a whole community of actors outside, they're like, Yes, I'll watch her for the 10 seconds you go in.

[48:43] Rory O'Malley: Absolutely, absolutely.

[48:44] Beth Crosby: Yeah. Because that other so many of the actresses that you're going in against these parts are also moms, right? Probably bringing their kids as well.

[48:51] Rory O'Malley: Well, especially since I've played moms since I was 26.

[48:54] Beth Crosby: So that's like my like forte, I guess.

[48:57] Rory O'Malley: So yeah, I'm surrounded by other women who play moms who are now moms. Let's talk about let's talk about the commercial world because you've had such great success in in commercials and it's such a specific part of our industry.

[49:08] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[49:09] Rory O'Malley: How did you get started? And what is the difference in in that world compared to everything else, audition wise and work.

[49:18] Beth Crosby: Well, you know, I never, it's not like I ever dreamed about being a commercial actor. It's um I didn't even know how you got into it, you know, when I first started, especially in LA. And uh, but I I did groundlings, I was in the Sunday company, and we had a showcase, and a bunch of agents came, including a commercial agent. And I knew that other people in LA at that point I had known that, like, oh, people are like making money, yes, doing commercials, especially from the ground links.

[49:44] Rory O'Malley: There's such a huge amount of ground links who are making a lot of money.

[49:49] Beth Crosby: I mean Stephanie Courtney, who's flow, yeah, like is that yeah, and Jim Cashman, who's Jamie on that's the same commercials, yes, yes, right?

[49:58] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, that's his character's name's Jamie.

[50:00] Beth Crosby: Yep, Jamie. He's doing great. And uh, anyway, so I got this commercial agent, and I was stoked because I was like, oh my god, I want to that would be a great way to make money. And you're you know, anyways, it was a world I wanted to explore. So I started going on these auditions, and um I quickly realized that it's like it is kind of a different world.

[50:20] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, it's first of all, it's a numbers game because they bring in you a lot of people, okay, and they re and and uh and I remember when I first my first audition, I asked my friend who was like acting as a commercial actor, like, oh, should I get there early? Should I get there? Like, what if I got there like a half hour early and just looked at the sides and rehearsed? And she was like, um, you could go early if you want, but it's not that's not really how it works.

[50:47] Beth Crosby: And I realized like when I got there, like, oh, you get the script when you get there. They bring everyone in a group to do like a group explanation of what to do.

[50:57] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[50:58] Beth Crosby: And then you do it and it's like 10 seconds long and then you leave. I mean, sometimes more than that. But um And doing what, you know, quote unquote what you have to do is so weird sometimes. Like I so weird. I remember once I had to like wave an imaginary flag.

[51:14] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[51:14] Beth Crosby: Once I, you know, was sit on this chair and pretend you're driving, then look over your shoulder, smile, and look back.

[51:22] Rory O'Malley: Uh-huh.

[51:23] Beth Crosby: And then think about your life. You know, like very weird. Oh, yeah. A lot of times you'll audition with no dialogue.

[51:31] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[51:31] Beth Crosby: Which I, to be fair, rarely, if ever, book because I'm the type of person I don't look like, I don't, I'm like a charactery type of person. So I feel like you'll always find someone who's like looks more like a mom or people who are more charactery looking than me. So I feel like I book if you give me dialogue to say.

[51:48] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[51:48] Beth Crosby: Well be funny and and use your asset of being hilarious.

[51:53] Rory O'Malley: Oh, well, I feel like I could uh, you know, do that.

[51:55] Beth Crosby: But um, so whenever it's the ones where they're like, oh, take a bite of this and smile. I'm like, oh well, I'm not gonna fucking get this. In fact, I was up for this job, it was um you'll play job, I think. And they I was on a veil, and then they were like, we want they want to bring you back for a third callback, which is that's rare. Usually it's you audition, then you have the callback, and then you book it or you don't, or you want a veil and then you book it or you don't.

[52:17] Rory O'Malley: When you're on a veil, that means you're available, you're you have to like say that you can do it if they hire you.

[52:23] Beth Crosby: Yeah, or you're on hold for the dates. And usually it's between you and like one or a couple other people.

[52:29] Rory O'Malley: Okay.

[52:29] Beth Crosby: And so they brought us back and they just it was between me and one other girl, and they just wanted us to bite the the take like take a spoonful of the yogurt, take a bite, and then smile. And I totally I just can't take a bite and smile. I don't know, I'm not like it's not I don't know why.

[52:44] Rory O'Malley: I can't do it.

[52:45] Beth Crosby: I mean I can do it, but it's looks crazy, it looks totally crazy. So this girl is very natural, so she got it. But anyways, so um yeah, they have you do really crazy weird things.

[52:56] Rory O'Malley: Um but in LA, what's important is that they really like want you to have at least for what I go out for, I go out for like uh moms and like comedy stuff.

[53:06] Beth Crosby: Um so I can't tell you like what it's like to go out for like a depression commercial because that's not like my four, I don't go out for like those, um, but uh they really want you to have comedy improv um backgrounds, really, and they're not technically allowed to say improvise with through with sag rules.

[53:25] Rory O'Malley: But they want to see 95% they want of the time they want you to to improvise it, which and a lot of that time of the time that makes it into the actual commercial.

[53:36] Beth Crosby: Yeah, like I've improvised a lot of stuff that has made it into the commercial, and I don't get paid to be a writer.

[53:42] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, it's super shady, but it is what you have to do to book the job, you know, and so I'm happy to do it if I get those checks.

[53:50] Beth Crosby: I mean, it sounds so like whatever like harsh, but yeah.

[53:54] Rory O'Malley: But if you're getting a national commercial and it's you know, and it's funny and it's what you came up with, yeah, or they want you to like do a button and then they keep that button, then great, right?

[54:05] Beth Crosby: You know, right, yeah.

[54:06] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, but you know, there are people getting paid a lot of money to write.

[54:11] Beth Crosby: This 15 second spot.

[54:13] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[54:13] Beth Crosby: And a lot you're writing half of it.

[54:17] Rory O'Malley: Basically, yeah.

[54:18] Beth Crosby: Or a lot of the time it'll just be the the script will just be like not good.

[54:23] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[54:23] Beth Crosby: And they'll say, Oh, make it your own, which is code.

[54:26] Rory O'Malley: That's code for improvise.

[54:28] Beth Crosby: Please make this work.

[54:29] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[54:30] Beth Crosby: And uh, so a lot of the time you just you've got and I don't know, you just gotta bring it.

[54:34] Rory O'Malley: So you have a sh very short period of time to bring something to the table.

[54:39] Beth Crosby: Right.

[54:40] Rory O'Malley: So it's great because it it's um it's gotten me out of my head in a way. Cause it's like where it's like, A, it's a numbers game, you just have to do like audition a ton.

[54:50] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[54:51] Rory O'Malley: But B, um, I don't know, just like throw something at the wall and see if it sticks and make cho make choices, like big choices.

[54:58] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[54:58] Rory O'Malley: In a short period of time. And I don't know. I'm does this make sense?

[55:03] Beth Crosby: I'm literally listening to you and trying to take notes because I've had zero luck with any commercial.

[55:08] Rory O'Malley: Well, you have barely, you haven't even audited you will if you auditioned, you would definitely vote, but you're not going out.

[55:12] Beth Crosby: I mean I'm available.

[55:14] Rory O'Malley: I'm on a veil for the audition.

[55:16] Beth Crosby: Okay.

[55:17] Rory O'Malley: Okay. Like I'm really.

[55:18] Beth Crosby: I think maybe they think you don't need to audition for commercials, right?

[55:22] Rory O'Malley: I need it.

[55:22] Beth Crosby: I need it.

[55:23] Rory O'Malley: Okay, okay. Well, like, this is the thing is that like from all the stuff that we've been talking about, I just did a TV show this summer.

[55:29] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[55:29] Rory O'Malley: I'm unemployed. I I I have no work lined up.

[55:33] Beth Crosby: Well, do you have a commercial agent?

[55:35] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[55:36] Beth Crosby: Why don't you talk to them? And they I mean, if if you go out, you will book, Rory.

[55:40] Rory O'Malley: I mean, um that you will.

[55:41] Beth Crosby: Well, we'll see.

[55:42] Rory O'Malley: I mean, I've I I've been I it's funny because it's such a it's such a um a mystery of this business.

[55:50] Beth Crosby: That and voiceover, which you've also done as well.

[55:53] Rory O'Malley: I've done it, but it's still a mystery.

[55:54] Beth Crosby: I mean, it is crazy. It's hard to break into voiceover because so many people are reused because you aren't seeing their face.

[56:01] Rory O'Malley: You can just they can make a different voice, and yeah, you know, it makes sense. If they find somebody that they like, they just keep using them in in different ways.

[56:08] Beth Crosby: But commercials are definitely their own beasts, their own beasts.

[56:15] Rory O'Malley: I mean, yeah, there are people that only do commercials, yeah, and that are very talented that I know who have been like, you know what, I just I just do commercials and they're making great money, and at least in the the spots that I've been lucky enough to do because I only really go out for comedy stuff.

[56:31] Beth Crosby: I've gotten to work with like great directors who direct other things, like um and encourage improv.

[56:38] Rory O'Malley: And I've gotten to work with like some other incredible comedy actors, you know, like other groundlings and stuff like that.

[56:44] Beth Crosby: And so the the the shoot day is really fun, right?

[56:47] Rory O'Malley: And it's really it's usually like one shoot day, yeah.

[56:51] Beth Crosby: And then you I mean, you know, with residuals, you get money in the mail coming, and if your commercial runs for a year, two years, three years, you're getting that money from that one day.

[57:00] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[57:00] Beth Crosby: I hate to keep talking about money. Can you see where my mind is right now? Now that I have a daughter, I'm like, okay, I've got to think of this as like business.

[57:07] Rory O'Malley: That's right now, this is all about is that people need to remember that this is uh this podcast is called Living the Dream, right? Not you know, like being in fantasy.

[57:16] Beth Crosby: It's all a dream, right?

[57:17] Rory O'Malley: Right. How do you live? How do you feed yourself?

[57:20] Beth Crosby: And commercials are a great way to do that, and they can also be very rewarding because there are a lot of great artists, not just in them, but as you said, directing them and writing and like as a part of that world, a lot of talent and yeah, no, there absolutely is, and like and and you know, if that could be my day job for however long, great.

[57:43] Rory O'Malley: Do you know what I mean?

[57:44] Beth Crosby: Like it can afford me to go to acting class, it could pay for me to do to write uh do a two person show at at the comedy Central stage that I'm not gonna get paid for, but I could I can do it, you know, and or you know what I mean.

[57:57] Rory O'Malley: Yes, this is ways to supplement your income to let you do other things that if you know if you were working in a restaurant or uh, you know, it it takes even more time away from exactly no, no, it's it's fantastic, and I'm so glad to get some insight into it because I have not cracked that up.

[58:15] Beth Crosby: Well, if you've auditioned for one commercial, you would book it, Rory.

[58:19] Rory O'Malley: No, I have I I have I have definitely auditioned for commercials, but it's it I've it's never goes well.

[58:26] Beth Crosby: Well, we'll talk, we'll talk about it.

[58:27] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[58:27] Beth Crosby: We'll talk about it.

[58:28] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, yeah.

[58:28] Beth Crosby: Um another aspect uh something that we talk about a lot on this podcast is body image.

[58:33] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[58:33] Beth Crosby: And especially with women, the fact that women are put through so much in this business and their body image is just such a i it's it's such a hard part of uh what they have to go through.

[58:50] Rory O'Malley: How have you dealt with your body image and and your feelings around that?

[58:55] Beth Crosby: Like I have such a hard time talking about it to if I have a hard time talking about it to you, like it's it's difficult to discuss.

[59:04] Rory O'Malley: It is.

[59:04] Beth Crosby: No, it is. I'm not well, I'm laughing because I'm like, how much time do you have? Because I have a my story's long.

[59:09] Rory O'Malley: Okay, I won't I won't get into the long version, but I, you know, I'm someone who I've been uh vocal about this, that I have recovery from an eating disorder. I have 15 years, um 15 and a half years of recovery.

[59:24] Beth Crosby: Um, and so I mean, I was in it like big time. I think a lot of that stemmed from um just not the business. Like I think I just would have had an eating disorder, regardless, just that's how what that was like my life experience. But um, but being a dancer, especially a dancer, was like a huge um part of it, right? You know, growing up in front of the mirror, and I was a fat kid, and I was told when I was younger, um, by many people, including my family, that it's not okay to be fat, especially as a woman, it wasn't okay to be fat. So that stuck with me.

[59:58] Beth Crosby: And um anyways, I was lucky enough to find recovery through um therapy and going to like different 12-step meetings for um my eating disorder. I was like, I was a anorexic, um compulsive over exerciser, which being a dancer really helped like that. Like it was like accepted to like be in dance class all day long and then go to the gym. Um, but so, anyways, after I started a string some years together of like just recovery from the eating disorder, I really started to begin to start to learn to like love myself and my body.

[1:00:37] Beth Crosby: Um, I mean, it's still something to this day that I'll have moments of like, ugh, I want to go on a diet, or oh my god, like this, why am I as skinny as this girl or whatever? And thank God, thanks to the work I've done to help myself, I can pull out of that. Um, and also some just getting older, I feel like is kind of great because you just don't really give a fuck as much anymore.

[1:01:01] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[1:01:01] Beth Crosby: And um, and also this other career I've had not as not as a musical theater or dancer person, as I'm more of a character actor. I'm grateful for that because I can be honestly, I could be whatever shit. They're not looking at me for my honestly for like my tits and my body, you know what I mean? Like that's never. I mean, that's how I feel. Like I'm so grateful that I'm not a leading man. I mean, that's especially with being gay, is that it's like you aren't being put under that microscope and having to be a certain thing. I can just try to make people laugh.

[1:01:34] Rory O'Malley: Exactly.

[1:01:35] Beth Crosby: In fact, I mean, I've used like my gut in like on stage for different things to get a laugh. You know what I mean? And how is that an empowering thing?

[1:01:46] Rory O'Malley: Very.

[1:01:47] Beth Crosby: I mean, for what you've been through. Very, yeah. Very, very, very empowering. And the more I do it, the more I want to do it, you know. Like, which is why like I love like this is so cliche, but like I love Lena Dunham, like for just being butt ass naked on screen. Um, when I see that and other women do that, it reminds me and it to accept myself and it helps me accept myself more. I think the more we see that on screen, right? The more we see real people on screen, the more uh it's gonna, it's it's gonna help us as a like society, especially women.

[1:02:22] Rory O'Malley: Right, you know, and now that I have a daughter, two-year-old daughter, like a big goal of mine is um, I mean, obviously, like her path is her path, and like I it's I'm I know society and just being a woman, she's gonna hear all sorts of comments about her body and what's acceptable and what she should be. But at home, I'm trying to create an environment of like total acceptance and we don't talk about our bodies that way.

[1:02:48] Beth Crosby: Um, like if I ever talk about her body, I say, Oh my god, your legs are so strong for running, or um uh don't you love your brain? You have such a great like brain, you're so smart, you know. And um, but I've made it a rule in our household, we don't like talk about diets, we don't talk about good food or bad food, yeah, and we only talk about our body in positive ways.

[1:03:07] Rory O'Malley: Which is hard because like every now and then I'll wanna say, like, look at this or that, and I have to like remember like all to talk shit about my body.

[1:03:15] Beth Crosby: Right.

[1:03:16] Rory O'Malley: And I stop and like make, you know, I think about her. I make sure I'm never gonna say stuff like that in front of her. You know what I mean?

[1:03:22] Beth Crosby: Yeah, that's hard.

[1:03:24] Rory O'Malley: It is hard.

[1:03:25] Beth Crosby: You have to start respecting yourself in a new way out loud.

[1:03:31] Rory O'Malley: Yes.

[1:03:32] Beth Crosby: Because she's listening.

[1:03:34] Rory O'Malley: She's listening to everything.

[1:03:35] Beth Crosby: Yeah.

[1:03:36] Rory O'Malley: It's like you have to act in the way that you want her to act.

[1:03:40] Beth Crosby: And the way and take care of yourself and tr and talk to yourself in the way that you want her to talk to herself.

[1:03:47] Rory O'Malley: Absolutely.

[1:03:47] Beth Crosby: Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, this is like a whole conversation. This is like a huge long conversation, but um, but I hope that things are changing. I feel like things are changing in in the business. Do you know what I mean? In terms of like accepting women's bodies, but it's still hard.

[1:04:04] Rory O'Malley: Like when I go to a fitting, you know, it's like uh for even just for a commercial, I'm playing as mom. Like they're not even looking at my body.

[1:04:09] Beth Crosby: Right.

[1:04:11] Rory O'Malley: Still, like, I'll be like, oh God, how do I look in these pants? Or like, ooh, what size, especially after having a baby, because I gained four 40 pounds after having or when I was pregnant, and then it took a year and a half for my body to kind of go back to where it was.

[1:04:25] Beth Crosby: Um, so when I booked jobs when I was like going back to the size I am now, I had to be like, this is a size I am now. And it was kind of uncomfortable at times because like in a fitting, you're putting on the outfit, they're like parading you in front of the client, in front of the director, staring at you up and down. I mean, you know, yeah.

[1:04:47] Rory O'Malley: And um, so that can be difficult.

[1:04:49] Beth Crosby: It can be tough still after all the years of work I've done on myself. Because you are putting yourself out, and we are constantly putting ourselves out there to be looked at, prodded, and poked in, especially in the designer, the costume designer, fitting rooms.

[1:05:04] Rory O'Malley: But I I have to say, since we are a podcast and people aren't looking at you right now, you are, and I'm not looking for for a reaction or you are a very petite woman. You're very, you are very skinny, you know.

[1:05:17] Beth Crosby: And I mean, not not in the terms of I I know we don't want to put labels on that, but what I'm trying to say is is that it's not as if you have a a weight issue and you are well now, yes, you know what I mean.

[1:05:29] Rory O'Malley: But yes, but but you are just incredibly healthy looking.

[1:05:45] Beth Crosby: I am, but no, you know what, and I am, but it's like it doesn't matter because in LA, if you're in a mindset of like if you're in this in a mindset, I can always find someone who's skinnier, tighter, like has looks but you know, is it looks a killer in a bikini, there's always that person.

[1:06:01] Rory O'Malley: So if you get into like a comparing mindset, which is what I think I definitely was in, especially when I was like in my eating disorder, it's it's crazy. I mean, in LA there's always someone younger, skinnier, absolutely, yeah, prettier.

[1:06:16] Beth Crosby: So it's um, I don't know, it's all about this is so cliche, but honestly, accepting yourself, self-acceptance, yeah, you know, and and I only got here to where I am because in terms of what whatever, whatever weight I am, in accepting where I'm at.

[1:06:31] Rory O'Malley: I mean, I didn't diet from having a baby till now. I I didn't dye it afterwards. I just it took a year and a half. Just you know, I don't know, it's um through self-care and self-love kind of, you know.

[1:06:43] Beth Crosby: Well, I think that it's especially as someone like you who is a writer, it's important, and I whenever we talk about this, I bring this up that we are storytellers and we have to tell the stories of everybody type. The stories of everyone, because there isn't just one kind of person that deserves to have their story told.

[1:07:04] Rory O'Malley: I know.

[1:07:05] Beth Crosby: We all deserve to have our story told, and we represent the rest of humanity. So it's okay, whatever body type we are, yeah, is worthy of being in a story.

[1:07:17] Rory O'Malley: I know. Look, I'm excited to be, you know, I want to tell my story about having itty bitty titties, having like stretch marks all over my gut after having a baby, cellulite, you know. I mean, that's what it is to be a mom now. You know what I mean? Like, and I do I that is I want to tell that story.

[1:07:36] Beth Crosby: I would love to shoot something where I'm just like actually it's more it really it would be really exciting to shoot something that towards like warts and all to where I just you know again, I keep going back to Lena Dunham, just like yeah, let's put it all out there. I just think it's so brave and it's like needed.

[1:07:50] Rory O'Malley: Yes, and it it definitely like encourages everyone else to be them their true selves.

[1:07:57] Beth Crosby: Yeah, and that's what I want my daughter to see, you know what I mean? Because like maybe not girls, not girls yet yet, but although that is definitely on the list for when she's 18 or however old. But um, but yeah, um, I don't know. I would I really just want her to see all kinds of body types out there.

[1:08:13] Rory O'Malley: Well, I think that you helped me have uh a better understanding of how to have a conversation with myself about my body, and that we were be being we started becoming friends out here in Los Angeles when you were going through all of that, yeah, and you were learning how to treat yourself better and have a better dialogue with yourself.

[1:08:34] Beth Crosby: Yeah, and I think in turn you were giving that to me and other people around you, and I think that was very, very helpful. At a time, you know, like I've been told to lose weight many, many times by people in this industry.

[1:08:46] Rory O'Malley: And so um, you know, that's it's it's the only industry where they can tell you, right?

[1:08:51] Beth Crosby: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:08:52] Rory O'Malley: So sick.

[1:08:53] Beth Crosby: Yeah, yeah. I mean, and I, you know, it hasn't happened in a long time because yeah, I've embraced exactly what kind of body type I am, and I think that the more that you do that and the more confident you are about who you are physically, the more people can see you in those stories.

[1:09:10] Rory O'Malley: Absolutely, absolutely.

[1:09:12] Beth Crosby: But you helped me get through come to that realization to to find that, you know, and it's it's not like we had some like sit down, come to this thing. It's it's really about acting in a way that is a good example for others, yeah, without even realizing what you're giving to people.

[1:09:33] Rory O'Malley: And I think that you have been that um for a lot of people uh around you, and for a lot of women and and for me, the the chubby gay from Cleveland.

[1:09:42] Beth Crosby: Oh my god, stop it!

[1:09:43] Rory O'Malley: Um I love that.

[1:09:45] Beth Crosby: Oh, thanks, Rourke.

[1:09:46] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, no, I I really appreciate you talking about that because it's not easy, and you know, it's something that everyone in our industry deals with, but everyone.

[1:09:54] Beth Crosby: Well, and I'm happy again, I'm happy to talk to anyone. Follow me on Instagram, slide into my DMs. I'm serious, like I'm happy to do it.

[1:10:00] Rory O'Malley: What is your Instagram handle?

[1:10:01] Beth Crosby: Uh well, I have one, uh, Crosbylicious is one, and then I have a more like mom comedy-based one called Cluster Feed. So, either what either one, please. I'm happy. Like I loved talking to people about this, and and especially other women and other women in the industry and stuff.

[1:10:17] Rory O'Malley: So well, I um you've meant a lot to me. Your friendship means a lot to me.

[1:10:21] Beth Crosby: Your friendship means so much to me.

[1:10:24] Rory O'Malley: And I just wait, before we wrap up, I just have to say when I saw Rory and Book of Mormon, because that was your first Broadway show. And we m Mark and I flew, unless my husband flew to New York's before. I had a baby, flew to New York to watch you in it, and I cried through the whole thing.

[1:10:38] Beth Crosby: And then I and then when we went backstage, I cried some more. I cried like a baby, Rory. Like it was so special to me to see you up there because I remember that first day I saw you at Carnegie Mellon. And like you were living your dream, everyone's dream and your dream. I mean, this is like the biggest thing ever.

[1:10:57] Rory O'Malley: And I had known I knew what you would like overcome to get there. And I don't know, it was like I don't know. You're only like four years younger than me, but it's like seeing my son like beyond stage. So silly, but like I don't know. It was that was one moment in my life I will I will never forget. And it was very inspiring.

[1:11:15] Beth Crosby: And I'm just, I don't know, so proud of you, Rory. Like, I'm always proud of you, but um, yeah, I don't know. I'm rambling.

[1:11:22] Rory O'Malley: I'm rambling like I am your mother, Rory.

[1:11:25] Beth Crosby: It means so much to me because you know the those years, I've said this so many times from 22 to 25 were the hardest time in my life, and I definitely wouldn't have gotten through them if it wasn't for you.

[1:11:39] Rory O'Malley: Well, you would have, but we would have had a different one.

[1:11:41] Beth Crosby: And I wouldn't have many laughs. We really no one made me laugh more throughout those years than you.

[1:11:47] Rory O'Malley: And I'm just so grateful that you know, we've been able to stay friends and you continue to inspire me. I hope to have kids one day, and what you and your husband have done to be artists still and to uh raise this beautiful young baby um I just that's that's that's living the dream yeah that is you know like the thing that I just really was like oh I want to be an actor but I really hope I get to have a family like how do they how do you do that?

[1:12:17] Beth Crosby: Well I'm excited for it to happen for you because I you're gonna be an incredible father you and Gerald incredible I can't wait um thank you for doing this thank you for having me it was so fun yeah all right love you okay love you too audition side job swimming upstream believe it or not you're living the dream