This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:07] Rory O'Malley: Hey everybody, welcome to Living the Dream with Rory O'Malley. So glad you could come back and listen to another episode. I'm just having a really good time connecting with friends and getting feedback from all of you. So thank you so much for downloading and listening and liking and giving me your feedback. Um, I'm actually talking to you right now from my basement in Cleveland, Ohio. I'm home for 24 hours for my mom's 70th birthday, and I am in my basement where I spend a lot of time as a kid creating and putting on musicals of my own by myself for myself. Uh, it's what you do when you're an only child gay boy in the Midwest. Um, so it's fun to get to talk to you from down here. Um, I have a great guest this week, Leslie Kritzer, who is a really good friend and somebody who I respect for so many reasons, but as we talk about in this discussion, she just puts herself out there a lot and she's very creative and I'm really in awe of people, but especially actors who write their own material and produce their own things and create their own work.

And she just did this amazing video of her character Riftina about tacos for Hillary, and she asked me to be a part of it, and I said yes, of course, without even knowing what it was about or anything, because anything Leslie does is hysterical and amazing. And um, we had the best time. We got together a couple weeks ago, and she shot this film and got so many amazing people together, including Randy Blair and Andrew Keenan Bulger, and um, a whole really good group of folks, and it was so impressive to me. So I asked her if we could talk about that and how she did it, and just about how she does everything full speed and just with all of her heart and soul. She's a good egg. We hadn't talked to each other in a long time, and uh, we had a really great conversation. It's a long one. We definitely have the gift of the gab when we're together, so uh, enjoy.

[2:49] Leslie Kritzer: Oh, I'm just listening to it a little bit. Just to see the levels.

[2:52] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[2:53] Leslie Kritzer: Is this good?

[2:53] Rory O'Malley: I think it's good. In my expert opinion, I think.

[2:59] Leslie Kritzer: I think we're good. I mean, I don't know.

[3:03] Rory O'Malley: Oh, are you liking the show still? You're liking doing it?

[3:08] Leslie Kritzer: I love doing it. Yeah, I love doing it. I would say that I was worried at first that having 10 minutes of material was going to become, I don't know, quickly, uh, I don't want to say boring, but you know that thing where you just automatically lose being present and you just are on autopilot.

[3:34] Rory O'Malley: We're in that I have more material than you, but yes.

[3:37] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah. I can walk on stage and be on autopilot and know the show so well now.

[3:41] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[3:41] Leslie Kritzer: It's just because you can get to that point where you're on stage doing your thing and wondering what you're gonna have for dinner that night, and I've had full-on conversations with myself.

[3:52] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[3:53] Leslie Kritzer: While saying dialogue and while listening. And it's hard.

[3:58] Rory O'Malley: Yeah. You really do have to click in. Okay, what is it? What's happening here? What do like right before sometimes I'll say my lines, like the few lines I'll have in the scene, and then go on stage.

[4:07] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah.

[4:08] Rory O'Malley: Oh, I go over every single word before I go on stage. Every single word.

[4:13] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah.

[4:13] Rory O'Malley: Because Andrew Rannells told the story that he went up on his um words, the second entrance, or maybe it was in the first number, I don't remember. But because there's three separate entrances as the king, and each one of them is very similar. It's the same song with different words, but you know, they're kind of similar.

[4:36] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[4:37] Rory O'Malley: I can take one wrong turn, and I'm on stage by myself. Just screwed. Just like all of a sudden I'm back to I could go out at the end when it's like George Washington stepping away, and I'm like, oh, you'll be back. Wait, no, you won the war. I'm sorry. I want to go away now. You know, like I'm afraid that I there's just no saving it. So I have to get the words right every time.

[5:04] Leslie Kritzer: Is the vibe still good around work? Or is it like everyone's happy?

[5:07] Rory O'Malley: Yeah. Good. Yeah, everyone's happy. It's a lot of uh new folks, so there was a lot of one by one new people coming in.

[5:20] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[5:21] Rory O'Malley: And you know, it was crazy for a little while, but um it's just nice that it's settled and there's this new cast that's so excited to be there.

[5:33] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah, it's a new energy, new blood.

[5:34] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, it's fun. And I mean, they, you know, it's an amazing show, and it's a lot of fun, but um it's work, it's for them, you know. It's three hours long, so every single show is quite the undertaking for the cast, and I'm in awe of them.

[5:56] Leslie Kritzer: I never take a PT slot. I never take a PT. People are like, oh, there's free, no one's there. I'm like, oh no, no, no. No, I'm not taking that. No way. I am not going to be aware.

[6:10] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, take that PD slot.

[6:14] Leslie Kritzer: Yes, that is so my ammo because I'm like, if I took that in like somebody, some of one dancer, some 22-year-old dancer who's literally like picking up impossus, yeah. I mean, no way.

[6:30] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, I just walk around saying I'm sorry and how grateful I am, and can I do anything? You guys must be so tired. I always feel bad when I'm saying I'm tired, although lately, especially because of the video I did, everyone knows that I was doing, yeah, and then I was busy. But that's what happens, is because doing this show everyone like I have a lot of time backstage, of course.

[6:56] Leslie Kritzer: I really, really do. I have two 45-minute breaks that are completely carefree for me. Because when I first get there, I have to get ready, and then by the time I do the first song, I'm kind of just getting ready to do that song, and then I have 45 minutes, then I do another little Diddy, and then I have another 45 minutes or so.

[7:16] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[7:17] Leslie Kritzer: And then I'm pretty much doing stuff till through the end of the show. But everyone asks me what I'm doing. And when you have, you're just like me. When you have any kind of time that you're being given, or if there's any question inside yourself, let alone when other people are like, what are you doing with this 45 minutes twice every single show? You're like, my God, I better stop just incessantly reading Twitter. I need to do something with my life and make something of myself.

[7:51] Rory O'Malley: Exactly.

[7:52] Leslie Kritzer: And it's, you know, when I'm unemployed for six months, no one asked what I was doing. No one cared. And I had tons of time. But I've made myself so busy outside of the show now that I go to the show, and those 45 minutes are like the time where I can breathe a little bit. It's the time where I'm like, okay, I should just focus on being here, being present. I don't know if that's what your experience is. But clearly you take out large projects.

[8:22] Rory O'Malley: I do. And I promise myself when I took this job, I mean, I have a good about 30-minute, I think it's 30 minutes. I really should time it. Are we recording now?

[8:33] Leslie Kritzer: We're probably.

[8:33] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, we're recording. So I have about a 30-minute, 35-minute break.

[8:43] Leslie Kritzer: The to the end of act one. Uh-huh. Through intermission, and then I have like two numbers that I have, I have two or three numbers, and then I go back on stage. So it's a good chunk of half-hour. And when I so I kind of just saw the track and it was like, wow, this isn't easy track. It came on as a guy a couple of times. Literally, like walk walk, funny, say a line, walk off. I have a big number in the first act, about two numbers in, and then it's like walking across going, ba ba ba ba ba. This is in Something Rotten, sorry.

[9:15] Leslie Kritzer: And uh, and so I when I did Robber Bridegroom at the Roundabout before that, and I came, you know, I got the call, I was listening to your podcast, and you're like, and you get that call for Broadway show, and I got this call, and that doesn't happen all the time. So I was like, wow, this just fell into my lap, and how amazing.

[9:30] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[9:31] Leslie Kritzer: Um, that is to have, and so grateful for that. Such a great part, and Robber Bridegroom is so physically exhausting to do. Um, it's one of my favorite things I've ever done, but my body was fully covered in bruises every night, and vocally, I was tired, so a lot of screaming, a lot of screeching, and a lot of whatever.

[9:51] Rory O'Malley: Well, you're not somebody who does anything less than a hundred.

[9:51] Leslie Kritzer: That's right, that's right. No, no, no. If I'm gonna do a prep ball, I'm gonna do that for a while. Because if not, everyone in the audience is gonna know that's like, oh, she didn't do that right now. It needs to look like it hurts a little bit and try to find a way, yeah, but it doesn't. Eventually I found a way. My knees almost broke, but when I got this job and I figured out the track and said, okay, so I want to do something. I've always been creating stuff, and you and I have talked about stuff, but I really wanted to like use the time six months in a show, use the time to create and push myself. And I had already started doing that, but that's when the idea for this video came about with the election and the whole Taco Truck comment with Marco Gutierrez, and I had done an election video eight years ago, and the short story is that I wanted to audition for SNL and they called and I made this video in 48 hours, and you can see it on YouTube. Um, I have made many times along with my husband, and you know I'm obsessed with it. Thanks for watching. Bye-bye. Barack Obama. And now that is Liza Minnelli commentary.

[11:04] Leslie Kritzer: I mean, when I tell you my friend Kim, my friend Jared, my friend, um god, oh god, oh god, I haven't seen him in so long. Oh, it's gonna I'm gonna remember his name in two minutes that filmed it. He's in Austin now, he's a big-time film fancy filmmaker now. And you guys came together and put it together. 48 hours. It's insane. And none of it was scripted. It was all improvised, the entire thing, and edited, of course. Uh, to you know, and he did such an amazing job and cannot believe I'm forgetting his name right now. Um, we'll edit it in. We'll edit it in later. Right here. And yeah, oh yes, that's the thing. Yes, oh god, he's so good, so fancy now. Uh, I wanted to do that, and then long story short, because we're you know, you talk on the podcast about like disappointments and all this and that.

It's like they were like, she's really great, uh, but it's not gonna go further. So I didn't even get like an in-person audition, and I was so bummed, I was so depressed, whatever. I put on the internet, and it still got some traction at the time. If I would have known what I know now, I would have pushed it even further. But I kind of just gave up, and so I haven't done like a video, like a real good video since we've done little ones, but since the election was gonna come around, I said, Well, I'm gonna bring this Riftina character back and do this whole music video and write this track. I said, I'm gonna write it, I'm gonna produce it, I'm gonna write this music, and I'm gonna pull all my resources and all the talented people I know together, and I'm gonna spend my own money to pay for the things that I know I need to make it because I'm sitting in a Broadway show and I need to do it.

[12:40] Rory O'Malley: Right, I want to do it.

[12:41] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah. Because when you're in that, uh when you're it it's funny to me, and I want to hear so much more about the process of it because I think that I that's what I'm most impressed by actors is when they take the reins of their own career, of their own destiny, and do something that is outside of their comfort zone because we're so used to showing up to somebody else's project, somebody else's thing, and just being plugged into that. Well, if you really want to have an exciting career, if you want to have some kind of say in what you do, you really have to get outside of that comfort zone and do some really scary, overwhelming things, which is making a video. And I don't think that people realize that that doesn't just like fall out of the sky and just happen. It's excruciatingly hard.

[13:34] Leslie Kritzer: And I know I it's yeah. I like at a certain point, my collaborator Randy Blair was like, I was worried about you for a second there. Yes, I was like, she he's like, I didn't know it was humanly possible for you to do all the things that you did in preparation for the video.

[13:49] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[13:50] Leslie Kritzer: Because you know, at first it starts out with an idea. Right. First it starts sitting at your computer with garage band, and I'm a musician. So uh you go, well, who am I to make a music track? Well, you start, you go on garage band, you do this. Then you call up your friend that works at a recording studio that in a major label. Yeah, I'll help chip in. Boom, boom, be start piecing together, and then it's true, one thing leads to the next. So the process of it, if you want to know about like how it happened, like basically I wrote this track slowly. I sent pieces back and forth to Randy and I said, What do you think about this? And he's like, Oh, that's funny. I wrote the hook, I wrote all of that, but I needed like, well, is there gonna be a second verse?

First verse, what's the point of view? Right, you know, what is that? Who is she? I mean, I am half um I do call myself a Jew Rican because it's the easiest way to explain what I am. My mother's Puerto Rican and my dad's Polish Jewish, but it's easier and it's funnier just to say Jubican. And some people that are like, you know, people have their own little cute names. So I said, So Randy and I decided that she was gonna be an extension of myself, but uh, you know, like a much more heightened version of this.

[15:04] Leslie Kritzer: And I said, Let's do this taco truck thing. This is like this is immediate. It's now at the time when I wrote it, it was even more in the news. You know, I'm not like Saturday Night Live that can turn around in four days a fully produced music video or seven days or so. So I messed around with the track. I wrote the track completely on Garage Band, and then Randy and I would meet to kind of figure out certain lyrics and a bridge and this and that. Um, our friend Ron, who's the music producer who works in Atlantic Records in Midtown, helped us um record it. We went in and we mastered the track, we did all these things, but this happened literally, like up until the 11th hour. We were changing lyrics.

So, so like so. There's that. Then I assembled a team. So Randy is I've been writing with Randy for years. He was our director and my co-writer. Andrew Keenan Bolger, I approached him and I said, Listen, I'm doing this thing. He's another one. Someone who decided to shoot his own videos and direct and do all these things. He's done books, you know. Oh, yeah. He's done everything. So I said, Listen, you get this. I love your style. I love your camera. Right. Would you come on? This is what I'm able to do. He's like, I'm game. So I got him. Randy got a line producer, Jordan, who's worked in TV and film to kind of organize the day. So he's who's like, and I'm new to this whole process because it was an ad as you know, because you did the video.

Thank God you did it. Everyone loves you. Did you see all these memes of you? No, I saw well, I saw one. Did you see the all these? Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw that slow motion, and they're like, Yeah. I mean, no, I'm living for it. I mean, it's like people are loving it. I'm gonna grow out my hair and we took a lot. But when you're in the Tiger and you're like, Yeah, it's okay. Anyway, so Jordan was in charge of organizing the shoot. And I have so much respect for people that do that job. She's basically like a stage manager on crack. Right. Like, you know, you and I have both been on set. We don't even see all that work. We just know where we show up, we know where craft services is. She organized all that.

Right. Before she even did that, I while she was doing that, I found the location. I was a scout locator. I was the casting director. I was the uh choreographer with Mimi, Scarbula. Oh, yeah. She choreographed it with me. I mean, she really is the credit for the because we'll collaborate, but really she's a choreographer. So we got into a studio. We did the I got my girls, I got you guys, um, I got someone to do the costumes, someone to do the t-shirts. Every detail. The taco truck. I looked for a taco truck for three weeks. Right. To nail down one. So I was awful. You got the best taco truck you possibly possibly could ever get. Yeah. They were so great. And they were amazing, and the food was great.

And you know, then we're like, wow, we should get a bouncy house. I'm like, okay, we call. And then I bought it. Wait a minute. So what wow, we should get a bouncy house. Yeah, like Randy was like, it'd be so cool if we got a bouncy house. I think he said it would be so cool. I said, let me call. Because that's that's the thing too, is like, you know, people who are listening. There's always gonna be there's gonna be that voice in your brain, or someone else outside of you going, it's not possible. Right. It's too much. Or it's still illusional. Right. When you have a job, and I decided not to crowdfund this. Right. I just picked up the phone and I'm not like rolling in it, but I allotted a budget.

Right. And with Greg Brunswick, who helped me produce it. So let's get this bouncy house. Alright, what can I do? And you just make it happen. I'm also that's part of my personality. I'm very resourceful, and I when I grab onto something, I go, okay, I have this idea, I'm gonna make it happen. Like we had that organization, Valley Arts, yeah, to give us all that space. They gave us all that space for free. Yeah. And I have many favorites. I mean, I'm gonna help them promote their business and anything else. So what you know, we scratch each other's back. Yeah. So then um, so we had meetings, like, how are we gonna do this? You know, we I was we were constantly refining the track, constantly going into the studio till I would do two shows and then go into the studio till two in the morning.

Oh my god. Because that's the only time that Ron could work in his studio at Atlantic. Moran Hill was in there and then the only time that I could be in there is like two in the morning. So get Rift Tina in there. Yeah, we had PR people. Exactly. We had we had so many people. We got extras and a casting director helped us out getting those because I had never I put people up in my house. My husband catered for people. We went to Costco, we brought food, everyone had was taken care of every step of the way. We just it took over a month of just planning for those two days that we shot. Oh, absolutely. And I could not have done it without all those people. And now, you know, it's so it's so we're done and then uh the editing process got a little freaky and there were you know, there were a lot of emotions and it's like it's not funny, it's not this.

And you learn, you go, okay, these are my strong points, these are the things I need to work on. Yeah. My personality goes like this when it's you know, I I learned a lot about myself when creating. Um so there's still some little messes that I have to clean up. Yeah, you know, like little personality things that I got into with people that are gonna be fine, but when you're in high pressured situation. Absolutely. Look, you're sleep deprived, you are putting something out there that comes directly from you. You're so you're at your most vulnerable. Right. And and uh it's it's not easy to stay grounded and uh and calm. It's not it's not it's not easy at any time, but especially when it's something that's coming from you, you start to go crazy.

It's like anytime I'm doing something like doing a show or writing something or putting something out there, Gerald, my husband will literally be like, bye, see ya. I'm not you know, why don't you come back and talk to me when this bullshit is over? Because I'm not gonna deal with this. He's like, I miss my wife. Yeah, where did she go? Yeah. And and this is what I this is what I want to know about. Where does it come from that we have to put ourselves through this in these in these situations? Because uh, you know, what's funny is that you know, you say, Well, I'm in this Broadway show, so I better do something. You know, like I like what is it in us, and I don't think that every actor is like this, but no, no, but I would say there is something I have my own theory of what it is that's in that's in you, that's in me that says, Okay, you're being given this opportunity being a Broadway show, so you better make the most out of it or figure out a way to make the moment uh translate into the next moment, or to since you're being given a platform, you know, and like I said, you asked me when I why I started this podcast.

Well, I had this idea a year and a half ago. I was sitting in Los Angeles thinking, boy, I would love to talk to other actors who are in the same moment as me, not employed, not, you know, knowing exactly what tomorrow's gonna bring, but you know, this is part of what being an actor is, and I think that it's important to have that conversation. Did I start it then? No. I was way too scared. I was too afraid. But now that I'm doing a show, what is that? Right, what is that? I can I can do it now. I mean empowered. What do you what do you think switched over? And it's a question I'm asking you and myself. Well I think that it's a self-worth issue. Is you um that that so much of our self-worth is put into being given a job or being given validation as an actor and that when we have that we feel worthy enough to say, look what else I got in my bag of tricks or or something.

We need I always I always try to stop myself from feeling like I need permission to do something. That's something that's very Midwest about myself or you know I don't know it's it's very much from my background that I need to be given permission from a boss or somebody in authority to say that I can do something or that I um worthy enough to do something. And I think that sometimes being employed gives me that permission. I think there's something really profound about that. I mean I think it gives you this my dad always calls it a cushion right you feel like you're you're sitting on something and you're more comfortable than when you're not comfortable and you're sitting in a just a chair that's like a wooden chair, and that's unemployment.

When you're like not comfortable, I mean, that's the worst example. I just realized I'm drinking this and has like three shots of expressing. Yes. So I just made some I need to make some sort of like description that made no sense. But he calls it a cushion, and it feels like that because you have a job, you have a place to go every day. You especially, and I'm in a great show too, but like Hamilton's like the shit show. Everybody's, you know, and and you're playing a great part. I'm playing a great part. We don't have a lot of time on stage. Right. So it's not like if I were playing, you know, if I were Cynthia and Revo, who still does marathons and all that, also I don't know if I'd necessarily be doing what I just did.

Right. But um money also feeling better about finan financially because I wanted to do it the way I wanted to do it, and I didn't want to have to ask anybody for money. Yeah. With this particular project, it was really important, and a lot of people did a lot of favors, but I did spend money on a lot of things that I had to spend money on. Yeah. And I wanted not to ask anybody for it this time. I did have certain people like give me things, which was nice, as little gifts here and there were very unexpected. Um yeah, I think I I also I knew that if the moment disappeared, especially with the election, I knew if it disappeared, I would never forgive myself. It'd be another eight years. Right.

And I and I I just think it I felt like it's I have to do this. So you and I talked about remember when we were talking about doing stand-up back in the day? Yeah. And when I did that, I also I said if I don't push past this fear, I'm like, I'm 39 right now. Uh huh. Next year I'll be 40. There were really yes, I'm in a Broadway show, and yes, I it definitely makes me feel better. But also something that I've been working on is pushing past the sphere because it's just me getting in my own way. Right. And the people that I'm inspired by, like, look at Randy Rainbow. I mean, Randy Oh yeah. Randy's been doing what he's doing a long time. So like when my video came out and I was like, oh well, it's only has like listen to this.

Oh, it only has like almost 70,000 views. It's like it's not like Randy. Randy has like 30 million, and like I don't know, what did he do? And I'm like, wait, honey, he's been doing this for years. Years, yeah. Doing these videos. And now yes, he's getting People Magazine. Like, you can't it's that compare thing. Then you do it. And you're like, well, my podcast is not Mark Marin. When I read his name, it's not like you know. So but I think to get back to your question as far as like what is it, I I also think uh I'm not gonna say like I am special, but there's a want. We don't have to. There's many people that have been many shows that have similar tracks. They're very content doing their show, showing up, being fierce in whatever they're doing, and not much else.

Right. And that's that's a choice. It's wonderful. Isn't that great? Actually, it's not just a choice. It's like sounds like a dream. It does, I can't. But but it's like but it I think it's like look at you know, look at Josh Cad. Look at he's always he was always creating stuff and doing things, and right you know, a lot of my friends that I'm inspired by, we want to make things. Like my friend Harris Duran is a filmmaker, my friend Aaron Mark's a filmmaker, and Randy Blair, and Andrew, and you and um I uh sometimes I think you know, there's a part of me too with my upbringing that it's like, oh well, you know, you're not it's never enough, you know, they're never enough, like, or or you know, just I don't know what I'm trying to say.

It's like don't get too cocky, like you know, stay humble, stay humble, and I agree with that, but if there's a need to create because you want to put something out in the world, like this podcast is helping people. Like when I was listening to this one of your other episodes on the train, I was like, wow, if I this morning was like a weird morning for me anyway, just because I'm dealing with stuff from this week, which I'll tell you. But I was like, wow, if I was unemployed right now, and I was sitting home and I was like, I'm really sad, and I and I just knew you were doing this podcast, I was listening to you know, Jason talk, or anybody else. I'd be and you and your experiences, and what happened with nerds, and I've been there, like all the things I'd be like, oh, I'm not alone.

Right. Right. So by you pushing through and having this drive, right? Is really it's helping people. With me and doing my video, I also I feel like it was a good message, but also we got a great group of people together, and now all these people know each other, and we did this, we promoted all these different good things, non-for-profit things, and I feel like it it connected people in a weird sort of situation. I so the um I do have an insatiable thing in within me. I do have like a drive, and and sometimes it's dangerous. It is dangerous. Well, that I I mean, yeah, it can be dangerous. I mean that's kind of what I'm getting at is that it can be there's there's a real it's it's wonderful in so many ways and that's it's kind of what I I always kind of call wanting being an actor it's kind of close to an addiction because there is such a high such a wonderful wonderful uh feeling that courses through your veins when you get the hit of being on a stage of getting a job of creating something and then the lows that you go through when it's not there can be pretty rough so I feel like I'm constantly trying to figure out how to be a s a healthy sane individual who can still create things and keep moving forward as an artist and challenging myself.

[30:46] Leslie Kritzer: Now a life like you have a life you've talked about having a family I am on that to in that question right now in my life which is something that I'm actually writing about because I'm going through it.

[30:56] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[30:56] Leslie Kritzer: Do I want to have children?

[30:58] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[30:58] Leslie Kritzer: How and we have so many friends that have kids Lynn has kids. I mean he's like one of the busiest people I know in this world I mean he has a kid you know I just threw him out because you're you know I think of him and I'm like how does what huh I know but like he was in the dressing room next to me. Everyone's like what are you doing on your long breaks all this time you have and he's literally never in his dressing room next door to me and he was writing songs for Disney writing scenes for you know whatever TV show he was gonna be on that week writing commencement speeches I was like oh like I wrote a really good tweet this week about Donald Trump or something you know like yeah it's hard.

[31:40] Rory O'Malley: It's you can't you can't compare anything to him but that's the drive but that's the drive that's the drive and that's probably why he was so connected to Hamilton because Hamilton had the same drama yeah so like but back to what you were saying about balance right yeah uh it is hard for me the come down I there's a there's an there's another podcaster that my dresser told me about expectation hangover it was an episode by this a woman I just started listening to it but you you're you go go go you do something and you have expectations for it whether it be a show or whatever and then there's like the come down right like that aftermath that's something like if a show gets canceled or something like that like pulling yourself out of that is like a whole that could be like a whole separate thing but balancing like I finished this video balancing my life like there's a lot of things that are kind of I need to tend to right now and I haven't because I've just been go go go like I turned around and it's almost November that's crazy to me.

[32:46] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah I'm like wait it's almost Halloween like you know you lose sense of time and your relationships and friendships and how to balance that and like put it aside for a while and just be normal for a little bit.

[33:00] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[33:01] Leslie Kritzer: I don't really know what that is.

[33:02] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[33:03] Leslie Kritzer: I don't know what normal is yeah and I bring in the the child question because I go what would that be like right that'll that kind of that kind of forces you to be quote unquote normal or at least you know to kind of get out of your head because it you know takes up so much uh room and you know it's it's kind of what it's I've always wanted to have kids it's been one of my main goals but at this point in my life I'm really looking forward to not having it be about me and not having the extra room in my head right and um I don't know I I I'm I'm just I'm looking forward to having some freedom being taken away from me if that makes any sense.

[33:54] Rory O'Malley: No it makes all it makes all the sense in the world.

[33:56] Leslie Kritzer: I'm like more concerned that I'm I listen to that and I go oh I'm concerned that I don't feel like it's different it's different.

[34:07] Rory O'Malley: It's not fair to I had this same conversation um with an with another actress who I I won I won't mention but a very very uh successful actress with with kids and I was like you know I've just I really want to do it and she was like well you're a guy you've got time like you can there's a difference there and it's just another one of the horrible things that women have to go through in life that's just not fair.

[34:43] Rory O'Malley: It's it's true.

[34:44] Leslie Kritzer: Like women have to think about that and um you know I do you know guys especially the gay dudes we don't have to be on the same timetable. You know there's certain things to do but there's it's there's there's I and so many actresses in in in your position in you know all different parts of their career and different you know people who are nowhere near as uh accomplished on and have the credits that you've gotten to have are having that same thing of like is this the time and you know I I feel for that because your body is going through something it's not just somebody putting a baby in your arm.

[35:26] Leslie Kritzer: Well and I'm naive about it. I mean listen I just turned 39 so you know I feel like I'm that it's it's like Tom Hanks in um big when he doesn't know like he doesn't know any better. Right he's like going around in the world and he's like hey and he everyone's like oh oh okay but he's acting like a child right so sometimes I feel like I should be I don't feel what a woman at 39 who is midlife technically they're calling it mid right midlife so weird.

[35:59] Rory O'Malley: I know.

[36:00] Leslie Kritzer: They said they called Chelsea Clinton middle aged and I almost threw the TV across the room.

[36:06] Rory O'Malley: Middle aged and she is two right yes this is her second kid.

[36:10] Leslie Kritzer: I don't feel I I feel like it's like I'm like Tom Hanks and big I'm like oh what? Like you know like that I don't feel that I if anything I feel my limits as far as physically sometimes now I'm like oh I can't do that like I used to do that but you know I just playing chopsticks um a big piano at FAO Schwartz. I feel young and I feel like uh I don't think about the clock. I went to the doctor I got my e my eggs are good like everything's good.

[36:40] Leslie Kritzer: For some reason though I think me and this is like a deeper conversation for another podcast, whatever, but and something that I'm writing about is this idea that like you know it's a choice. It is a choice. Just because I have the uh equipment to make a baby doesn't mean that I have to, because you know, they call the nesting and all this and all that, which is like for me, yes, it might be real, maybe humbo jumbo. Like, I I don't know, but I feel like if you really want it, you know, and if you don't, you also know, and I also know a lot of women that were like, uh, and they did it for the wrong reasons, and they're really resentful and really angry, and I don't want to be angry after having a baby.

[37:28] Leslie Kritzer: Um for some reason for me, I almost feel like if someone said to me, This baby needs to be adopted tomorrow, there's a part of me that would be like, the deem, let's do it.

[37:38] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[37:39] Leslie Kritzer: And it's so strange. Like when I say that out loud, I go, What is that about?

[37:43] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[37:43] Leslie Kritzer: But when it comes to carrying a child for nine months, right, eek. I don't uh and because and that's probably my own selfish stuff, and I have to deal with that. Um, but I do believe women can have it all. I believe we can do it. My parents both uh I went my my mom had me, and then at three, four months, I think, she went right back to work, right? And I turned out okay, and I was raised by you know, uh half the time by you know, my Aunt Margie, who's you know, but I look back at that and I was like, I'm fine, and then my mother decided with my sister to not do that, and she gave up her career.

[38:25] Leslie Kritzer: And um I did your sister is she's five years younger than me because my mom was like, Oh, you turned five, and I was like, Oh my god, Leslie's so grown up already, and I miss so much of it. So she did that with my sister. She gave she had my sister, and then she did like didn't go back to work, and that was hard because my it was hard for her, so it's it's an interesting, and that was a different time. It was the 80s, so it's different now.

[38:48] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[38:49] Leslie Kritzer: Women are having kids later. You know, my mom had me when she was 29. So when you think about it, that was I mean, can you imagine I'm 39 now? 20 years ago, I could have had a kid the same age as my mom. Like that, if I had had a kid at 29, where I am messed. She probably would have been in jail or something like that. You know, but whatever. I'm going all over the place. The bottom line is that I think it's a it's a t it's it's something beautiful and amazing, and it I'm so inspired by all of these gay couples who are having kids, either adopting or having their own men and women and people who are in the arts. I just think that it's a choice, and people also what we're not talking about is that like a lot of women are shamed, like quietly shamed because they're not doing it.

[39:40] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, and that is what actually intr interests me.

[39:44] Leslie Kritzer: Right. Because I've had difficult conversations, especially I live in the suburbs with women that are like, So you guys can have a baby? And I'm like, I don't know, and they're like, you know, you don't really fully live life if you have a child. And I look at them like they're like crazy.

[40:03] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, but it's not and it's not just a career thing, it's just it's just what it is, you know.

[40:12] Leslie Kritzer: So it's it's a lot of things that's so it's it's interesting. I think there's a way to do it. Like, uh, I mean, Audra just had her baby girl, yeah. And look, people, when people found out that she was having a baby, they're like, She's 46. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, and she had a healthy, gorgeous baby girl.

[40:30] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[40:31] Leslie Kritzer: Like, there's no rules.

[40:32] Rory O'Malley: No.

[40:33] Leslie Kritzer: No, there's not. And I think that, especially because we are artists who have taken, you know, a really crazy path in life, you know, we're not afraid to do things differently to uh break those rules, that those um stereotypes. And I think that, you know, but it just it upsets me that women have to go through yet another thing. It you know, and it's not something that in my 20s I realized women were going through in my 30s talking to my to my female friends, it my heart breaks that they have to they have this uh clock or pressure or or something that is you know being put on top of them that you know I mean you already have it all quote unquote. You already do, right? You know, you're going to be going through the next decade of your life making new decisions and bringing new things into your life, and if a baby is one of them, great, and if it's not, you are not going to be living a boring life, unless the crits are there's just I don't think you're capable of that.

[41:48] Rory O'Malley: So, you know, I mean the the thing is is I also I also think that as performers, like we have a crazy life and it's it's uh you know, a lot of ups and downs, but we have a lot of stimulation in terms of excitement that you know I think that some there are some I always say like a lot of people who are performers, excuse me, don't care about their birthdays or their weddings or their big events as much as people who are normal, people who are uh because we have so much attention, yeah, too much attention, yeah, on a regular basis.

[42:39] Leslie Kritzer: So I think that you know, I I I remember people were pressuring me to have a kid years ago because they were like, you need to have it when you're in your twenties, when you're young, and you know, you can keep up with them. And I was like, I think I'm gonna have energy for a long time. You know, if I can get to where I've been and have the stamina to do what I what I do, I'm not afraid about chasing a toddler in my ancient late 30s. Like, what are you talking about?

[43:10] Rory O'Malley: Well, and that's what I'm saying. It's like uh it's it's um I think it's all it's like what am I trying to say? I'm easily uh easily impressionable, okay. I I do I'll I'll I know myself really well. When someone says something like, oh, maybe they're right, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. So like everything I say too, there's the other side of it, which is like I have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm totally delusional. I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna be like, why didn't I have a baby? I'm a mess. You know what I mean? So there's both sides, right? There's there's both sides of this conversation.

[43:44] Leslie Kritzer: I think I think you'd be a great dad.

[43:47] Rory O'Malley: Oh I really do.

[43:49] Leslie Kritzer: I think you'd be a great father, and I think the want is there, just like the want to create. The want is there to be a father, and it's gonna happen because you you want it.

[43:56] Rory O'Malley: So it's gonna happen, it's inevitable.

[43:58] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah, no, it is it is. I don't know how, you know, we're figuring that out, and that's a whole other journey that I know is gonna have disappointment and excitement, and you know, and Gerald and I are ready for it. I mean, like, you know, he he was less concerned about getting married more than he was about us having a kid.

[44:19] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[44:20] Leslie Kritzer: And we're, you know, we're ready for that. Um, but it's it it's funny because it's I keep saying to couples who have kids, you know, I want to know all the information, I want all the good and the bad. I don't want any sugar coating, and you know, there's a and couples are ready to to tell you, and I appreciate it. Um, but I always say I feel sometimes like I'm staring at Niagara Falls and I'm like, it's so beautiful. I wanna jump in, you know, and that you know, I'm gonna get this really rude awakening of what it's gonna be like, but I think that's just what it is.

[45:04] Leslie Kritzer: I am so excited for it. I want it more than anything, but I'm completely aware that I don't know what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? I don't know what I'm in for.

[45:15] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[45:15] Leslie Kritzer: And I'm completely aware that I don't know what I'm talking about as someone that's never had a child, because the women that have had children, they have experienced this thing.

[45:25] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[45:25] Leslie Kritzer: And a lot of them said, I didn't want it at first, and now I have it. Like the closest thing I have to that is my dog. I mean, I have a parrot and my dog, but my dog. My dog is like my baby. I think about her, I show pictures of her. I've never like I love her so much.

[45:43] Rory O'Malley: What do you do, not you ignore the parrot?

[45:45] Leslie Kritzer: No, he bites lately. He's just been that nice. I played with him this morning. It's just a different thing. Like we have a very special relationship.

[45:51] Rory O'Malley: Okay.

[45:54] Leslie Kritzer: A parrot is so smart and he's amazing. We adopted him. He's not the like the adopted, like push in the corner person. But my dog is like an extension of me. It's weird. She is I love her so much. When I think about that love, when I think about like coming home to her and her coming down the stairs, I can only and that's like an like this much of what it must be like having a child, even if it's adopted or not, doesn't matter.

[46:21] Rory O'Malley: Um and I I just I'm it's a it's this whole conversation is so interesting because it's literally a self-examination all the time. It's like, okay, what's going on there, Leslie? Like, what makes you feel that way? Is it because you know, this or that?

[46:36] Leslie Kritzer: And the bottom line is too, Rory, I'm actually fine with not acting either.

[46:41] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[46:41] Leslie Kritzer: There's a whole part of me that could do something else, sure, and like experience another chapter in my life.

[46:48] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[46:48] Leslie Kritzer: I'm not like I have to be on the stage or nothing. Like, I'm not that kind of I'm really, it seems like I am, because I'm ambitious, but I'm just curious about things. And I like to create things, whatever they are, either for myself or other people.

[47:02] Rory O'Malley: So I'm constantly that's why I say Tom Hanks and like hello, like in big, because it's kind of like you know, he has this childlike thing. I feel that in many ways.

[47:12] Leslie Kritzer: But the reality is this is a real issue and it's a real question, and you know, my husband is my husband's different than Gerald. He wants what I want, which is also problematic because I'm like, okay, but he's like, But it's your body, and I said, I understand that, but this is a decision we really have to make together.

[47:32] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[47:33] Leslie Kritzer: Um because it's forever. It's not, you know, let's try. You know?

[47:40] Rory O'Malley: Um, but uh I I it's it's just interesting. I'm glad that we're talking about this because I think actors, creative people need to hear people talking about that, especially.

[47:51] Leslie Kritzer: I don't think that people really get to talk about life stuff, you know. When I that's that's also why I wanted to have these conversations because I don't want to talk about how you book the job. I want to talk about what I still don't know.

[48:07] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, because I don't know how to do that.

[48:09] Leslie Kritzer: I don't know. It's uh you know, like just keep praying, and sometimes miracles happen. That's all I can say. I still don't know how to book the job.

[48:16] Rory O'Malley: Exactly.

[48:19] Leslie Kritzer: It's like a miracle, it's all been a miracle, yeah. But I feel like not just people who are our age, our maturity in this in this business, but but when I was when I was 22, when I was 23, and when I wanted a family, and I started in this field and realized that I could barely feed myself with the restaurant job and trying to get to auditions, and I kept thinking, I can't do this for me. How in God's name will I ever be able to have a partner? How will I ever be able to have a kid in this profession?

[49:06] Rory O'Malley: Um, and so I think that for me, having these conversations are about trying to you know show people examples of where you are where you could be in ten years you know because I I didn't feel like I was getting that information from people.

[49:26] Leslie Kritzer: I wanted to know from you know actors who I respected and admired who were doing what I wanted to do. How did you get there not by you know I'm not talking about you know which audition song you had how did you feed yourself from 22 to 25 and keep hope alive how and and you you have a kid how do you have a kid I every time I would meet an actor who had a child or was owning a home or you know how did you do this because it seems absolutely impossible.

[50:06] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[50:06] Leslie Kritzer: I mean and and you know it's it's not it's not impossible.

[50:10] Rory O'Malley: And that's the point.

[50:11] Leslie Kritzer: And that's the point. It's not and well we said that in the beginning of this whole thing nothing really is impossible.

[50:18] Rory O'Malley: No the fact my my husband says this all the time and there's an actual and I wish I could find it a percentage thing that shows you the percentages of people that come here to be an actor the people that do this this you and I right now like if we could show uh the percentage or whatever that thing is that would make blow people's minds like I'll have the charts online that the probability and the odds of the 40 Broadway theaters.

[50:47] Leslie Kritzer: There's 40 Broadway theaters in New York.

[50:49] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[50:49] Leslie Kritzer: And how many shows have you and I both done? Um and and you've been nominated for a Tony. Like those things, and you're in Hamilton, biggest biggest show ever. Like those odds when we stepped foot into this city to do this, were zero. But yet we believed.

[51:07] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[51:07] Leslie Kritzer: We believed. And it wasn't we didn't know. We had no idea. And many people that stepped into this city the same time we did have not done what you and I done. And there's people who have surpassed, you know, like the expectations and odds, but we just believed.

[51:23] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[51:24] Leslie Kritzer: And we kept doing it. And what the outcome wasn't, you know, they say the outcome's none of your business. You just need to keep doing it.

[51:31] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[51:31] Leslie Kritzer: So you, you know, having like it was my dream to have a home, and it came true. I believed it would happen at some point, and it did through the series of steps, meeting my husband, you meeting your husband, and you said, Well, how can you have a partner? You met how can you have a baby? It happened.

[51:48] Rory O'Malley: I I have a who shall not be named a uh Broadway actress right now, very successful, who was having a very hard time having a kid. Went through all thousands and thousands of dollars with the tried natural, and then tried the thing.

[52:03] Leslie Kritzer: I again I'm like Tom Hanks, I have no idea what this stuff is called. UV, IV, whatever the hell it's called.

[52:08] Rory O'Malley: In vitro, whatever it didn't work, didn't work any work.

[52:11] Leslie Kritzer: Her and her husband said, Okay, well, I guess we're just gonna accept we can't. They're a little older, like around our age, my age, and um they went on vacation and she got pregnant.

[52:22] Rory O'Malley: Wow.

[52:23] Leslie Kritzer: Naturally.

[52:24] Rory O'Malley: Wow.

[52:24] Leslie Kritzer: And they have a beautiful baby. Um, she took some time off, she's back in the swing of things now, but like it's supposed to happen the way it's supposed to happen, not necessarily how we see it and how we want it.

[52:37] Rory O'Malley: Um, and that's beautiful.

[52:39] Leslie Kritzer: And and on the other, just on the other side of that, which is a s it's sad, but it's it's a beautiful reminder. My friend from high school, Michelle passed away a couple of years ago. She was an incredible film editor, worked with Martin Scorsese, and had a really upcoming, brilliant career, had her first kid, kind of put her career on hold, and her husband, who's also in the film industry, I'll make this short, said, Hey, you know, don't you think about getting back to work? Like, you're so good.

[53:07] Rory O'Malley: She was like, you know, I I really want to have another baby, maybe, maybe I'll go back.

[53:12] Leslie Kritzer: She had another baby, she had a little girl, and um a couple of months later, she died from complications, uh, an infection from pregnancy.

[53:23] Rory O'Malley: And at the wit at the um, not the wake, uh, but the ceremony, the Jewish funeral.

[53:30] Leslie Kritzer: He spoke and he told the story of how the months leading up to before she died, because she got sick out of nowhere and then went within a week. Like it was like quick. And no one knew why, like, she had the flu, it was like, oh, and she went to the hospital, and then she just couldn't breathe, and then she died. Like, no one could reach her. Her husband was there, no family, everyone was out of town. It was devastating.

[53:52] Rory O'Malley: So at the wake, he told the story about how she was nagging him and nagging him about cutting the cucumbers right for their son.

[54:01] Leslie Kritzer: And he's like, Oh, I know, I know that how to cut the cue. She goes, You don't understand. This is how he likes them cut. He likes them cut like this. This is how he likes them. He doesn't like them that he eats them this way.

[54:11] Rory O'Malley: And he said, in retrospect, she was teaching me how to take care of our son.

[54:16] Leslie Kritzer: She didn't know she was gonna be gone, but she was teaching me all of these things, and she didn't go back down that she, he's like, I feel guilty pushing her to go back to pursue her craft because her greatest gift was her children.

[54:27] Rory O'Malley: And her her daughter was born.

[54:29] Leslie Kritzer: Right. Beautiful little girl. And so again, Ian, that's a sad and very sobering kind of story, but she changed her path and she had this incredible career ahead of her because her gift and her passion was her kids.

[54:45] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[54:46] Leslie Kritzer: And no one could have seen that coming either. But it was it's just a reminder too that life is gonna play out, so you might as well, whatever your gut and your intuition is telling you to go for and do is right.

[55:00] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[55:01] Leslie Kritzer: For you. Right. And the rest is up to the universe or whatever.

[55:05] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[55:05] Leslie Kritzer: I don't know. I know that was really sad, but no, I mean, those are the kind of things that give you like, yeah, that kind of wake you up.

[55:12] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[55:13] Leslie Kritzer: Make you realize that you have to appreciate every single day and and the journey that you're taking and not be sad about the journey that you're not.

[55:21] Rory O'Malley: And the expectations.

[55:22] Leslie Kritzer: I mean, like Mike Birbiglia, who we love, wrote that article in the New York Times um about you know being a creative person or whatever.

[55:31] Rory O'Malley: And one of the things that I loved he said was that, you know, you also have to know when to give up.

[55:36] Leslie Kritzer: And I love that he said that. Because you know what? It's not there's no contest here. It's like we're all not gonna be here forever.

[55:44] Rory O'Malley: I mean, at least I believe that maybe there's another life fine.

[55:47] Leslie Kritzer: But it's there's an endpoint, right? Like, we're gonna die at some point. So if it's not working, do something else.

[55:54] Rory O'Malley: And that's cool.

[55:55] Leslie Kritzer: Maybe you have something else, like equally, if not better, to offer, and that's great. And and stop beating yourself up if it's not happening.

[56:04] Rory O'Malley: Oh, right, and it's time to go.

[56:05] Leslie Kritzer: Well, also, I think that that is it it people do get stuck in in something in a sadness of something not working out because it's not working out in the exact way that they want it to work out.

[56:19] Rory O'Malley: They, if you have the kind of stamina and enthusiasm for something, you can figure out your own path to make it something that you enjoy.

[56:28] Leslie Kritzer: I had a conversation recently with a friend from home who I did plays with, and she's amazing, and she came to see Hamilton, and she was so excited, and she's a nurse, and um, and she was so enthusiastic about seeing the show, and we went to dinner afterwards, and I was saying to her, well, you know, this is a job, it's just a job.

[56:55] Rory O'Malley:

What you do is way more amazing and uh uh beautiful, you're saving lives, and you know, and I said the kind of happiness that you get on Christmas on Christmas morning with your kids, or from saving a life is I guarantee you the exact same, if not more, of the joy that I can get from being on stage.

[57:23] Leslie Kritzer: It looks sexier being on stage, it feels like there's a lot more joy around it, but happy is happy. There's no ceiling that I've busted through and now I'm in some other different area.

[57:39] Rory O'Malley: I I was trying to explain this to her.

[57:44] Leslie Kritzer: I just had a visual of that.

[57:45] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, like I'm you know, like in some kind of like, you know, happier flowers and bubbles.

[57:52] Leslie Kritzer: But I was trying to explain that to her, and she was like, Oh, you sound kind of down, you know, and I realized that she didn't really want to hear that from me.

[58:03] Rory O'Malley: She wanted to maybe hear that this is great, that there is something beyond that happy, and I think that we all want to believe that there is something out there that is a happy that we haven't experienced and that if we could just get there, um, if that thing could come into our lives, or something else could come into our everyday, then we would experience that so guilty level of happy, and that's just a daily reminder, like I have to remind myself there is no like I'm pleased that we both have had many things, like whether it be okay, now I get this award.

[59:01] Leslie Kritzer: Right, crickets. Now I get this show, crickets, crickets. Now I'm on a TV show on HBO and working with Martin Scorsese, definitely something's gonna happen.

[59:10] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, crickets, right?

[59:11] Leslie Kritzer: Like it's an endless now, is it now?

[59:16] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[59:17] Leslie Kritzer: Is this mic on? You know what I mean? Is it is it time?

[59:20] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[59:20] Leslie Kritzer: And that is that is that's why I say, like, when I when I get into that place, I go, oh, like the other night, I was like, oh my god, I gotta make a video about this bad ombre. I I gotta do something.

[59:29] Rory O'Malley: Uh Saturday night live's gonna do something.

[59:32] Leslie Kritzer: I gotta do something. I gotta do. And I'm like, Leslie, you're exhausted.

[59:36] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[59:36] Leslie Kritzer: You're tired. How about that? How about you just did this thing? Let that be enough.

[59:41] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[59:41] Leslie Kritzer: And sit back and enjoy watching other people do some stuff.

[59:44] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[59:44] Leslie Kritzer: Sit back and laugh now. It's like laugh and sit back. There's no race.

[59:49] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[59:50] Leslie Kritzer: There's no race. Be curious now.

[59:53] Leslie Kritzer: Walk around and listen.

[59:54] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[59:54] Leslie Kritzer: Experience.

[59:57] Rory O'Malley: Chill.

[59:57] Leslie Kritzer: Like it's been go, go, go for a month and a half.

[1:00:00] Rory O'Malley: You had to call out of a show because you're friggin' so tired.

[1:00:05] Leslie Kritzer: Like just tired.

[1:00:06] Rory O'Malley: And that is really your job.

[1:00:08] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:00:10] Rory O'Malley: So it's time to slow down.

[1:00:11] Leslie Kritzer: So I had to say it, like literally, I had to say, okay.

[1:00:17] Rory O'Malley: Stop.

[1:00:18] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:00:20] Rory O'Malley: Read a book.

[1:00:21] Leslie Kritzer: Or do nothing for a little bit.

[1:00:25] Rory O'Malley: It's okay just to like because you need to fill up again.

[1:00:30] Leslie Kritzer: Like you do sometimes.

[1:00:32] Rory O'Malley: And just and when I say be normal, I mean like go like in between shows, like, well, what can I do?

[1:00:37] Leslie Kritzer: Should I go like work out?

[1:00:38] Rory O'Malley: Like, no, just maybe go take a walk by the water and just look at people.

[1:00:42] Leslie Kritzer: Like, or call someone and have like coffee.

[1:00:45] Rory O'Malley: Don't it's not about the next thing.

[1:00:48] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:00:49] Rory O'Malley: It's uh because then I forget how to listen and I forget how to be in the world.

[1:00:56] Leslie Kritzer: Cause what I'm inspired by is other people and what's happening around me.

[1:01:00] Rory O'Malley: So like just let it just be human, be.

[1:01:03] Leslie Kritzer: And I think also this city is hard because everyone is here to do something.

[1:01:08] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:01:08] Leslie Kritzer: Not everybody, but a lot of people.

[1:01:10] Rory O'Malley: Well, just doing your laundry in this city is a real accomplishment.

[1:01:15] Leslie Kritzer: Because you know, it's like if you can do your if you can get your flow your dirty clothes down to the street level, wash them, and then bring them back up, like my god, you have really accomplished an amazing thing that day.

[1:01:29] Rory O'Malley: I that's what I think about New York.

[1:01:31] Leslie Kritzer: But yeah, I mean, everybody here is on a mission, and you start to feel that starts to seep into your being that you are on a mission, that you're not just getting through a day or experiencing another day, you are on a mission.

[1:01:46] Rory O'Malley: Why did you even come here?

[1:01:48] Leslie Kritzer: Why did you why did you show your face in Manhattan if you haven't done something with this day?

[1:01:55] Rory O'Malley: And that is that can be exhausting.

[1:01:57] Leslie Kritzer: That can be a lot.

[1:01:58] Rory O'Malley: And I think that you know what we started this conversation with about finding the balance.

[1:02:04] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah.

[1:02:05] Rory O'Malley: Of yeah, I love that I have a drive in me and an ambition that has given me so much joy and passion and friends and and experience life in such a wonderful, tremendous way, but it can't consume me.

[1:02:22] Leslie Kritzer: No.

[1:02:22] Rory O'Malley: It can't take over the simple joys of breathing, going to the water for a walk.

[1:02:32] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah.

[1:02:32] Rory O'Malley: And um, I'm I'm actually now the old person in Hamilton, you know, like I'm they're they're all so young, and we were sitting backstage, and everyone was talking about what they did that day, and they were like, well, I was working on this uh dance video, or I was doing this or that, you know, somebody was like teaching a class to high school students, and I was like, oh, I went to the park and I I saw the turtles.

[1:02:58] Leslie Kritzer: There's lots of turtles in Central Park.

[1:03:01] Rory O'Malley: Did you guys know this?

[1:03:02] Leslie Kritzer: And they died laughing.

[1:03:05] Rory O'Malley: Like they can't believe that I that's what I do.

[1:03:09] Leslie Kritzer: I go now to the park in the mornings for my runs, and I stop at Bethesda Fountain and I look at the turtles just swimming around there in the in the lake.

[1:03:21] Rory O'Malley: But you know what?

[1:03:21] Leslie Kritzer: That's gonna keep you that's gonna keep you healthy.

[1:03:26] Rory O'Malley: Yeah and it's per it it's it's good.

[1:03:29] Leslie Kritzer: It's good to slow down.

[1:03:31] Rory O'Malley: It's yes so good to slow down because as you know when you're in a juggernaut of a show, book a Mormon or even this one, book a Mormon original cast where you went through the entire process.

[1:03:41] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:03:42] Rory O'Malley: Anything it does consume you you are whatever it is the pilot season coming up or this and the audition and the flying and the testing and the blah blah blah.

[1:03:51] Leslie Kritzer: And it's like how to find what's my a separate you started this in the beginning of this.

[1:03:58] Rory O'Malley: What if who am I? Not my career who am I?

[1:04:03] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:04:03] Rory O'Malley: What makes me this like what what's in here?

[1:04:08] Leslie Kritzer: Not just all of the other stuff that is beautiful and that's part of me and that I've been you know we have talents and gifts but like what am I separate from all that the moments at Bethesda Fountain the going home and seeing your family spending time with your husband um even like simple things you know doing the simple things like Monday I want to go I don't want to miss this this year.

[1:04:08] Rory O'Malley: I want to go to like a pumpkin patch on Monday or like Apple I don't want to miss it and I'm gonna miss it if I don't a lot time for it.

[1:04:42] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:04:43] Rory O'Malley: Because well I have to do this and uh I have to do that, and I have to no, you need to go.

[1:04:49] Leslie Kritzer: It's like one of my favorite things to do.

[1:04:52] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[1:04:52] Leslie Kritzer: And if I let myself Monday would be, well, I gotta call this person and I have to do this, instead of just going to a friggin' pumpkin patch.

[1:05:00] Rory O'Malley: Being a person.

[1:05:01] Leslie Kritzer: And being wearing my plaid shirt and my boots.

[1:05:04] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[1:05:04] Leslie Kritzer: And holding my cup of coffee and walking through a pumpkin patch, which makes me so happy.

[1:05:09] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:05:10] Leslie Kritzer: Because what happens is we go, it's a waste of time.

[1:05:14] Rory O'Malley: Instead of it's filling up my tank so I can be a better me.

[1:05:18] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah.

[1:05:19] Rory O'Malley: And be happy.

[1:05:20] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:05:20] Rory O'Malley: Not even a better me.

[1:05:22] Leslie Kritzer: Happy.

[1:05:23] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:05:23] Leslie Kritzer: Like just, you know.

[1:05:25] Rory O'Malley: Just living life.

[1:05:26] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:05:27] Rory O'Malley: Which is what we're supposed to be as artists.

[1:05:31] Leslie Kritzer: Living life and then showing people stories from life.

[1:05:35] Rory O'Malley: And sometimes I think we get so caught up in getting to do what we love that we forget, oh yeah, we we have to be experts in life.

[1:05:45] Leslie Kritzer: We're supposed to be really knowledgeable of those moments, those feelings.

[1:05:51] Rory O'Malley: And if we don't take the time to actually just be people, right just relax and experience, we're not gonna have anything to bring to a stage.

[1:06:02] Leslie Kritzer: Right, and I think there's times where you will create things.

[1:06:06] Rory O'Malley: And it's dangerous.

[1:06:08] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:06:08] Rory O'Malley: There are there are when you leap off that ledge and you're creating something, there is a price to be paid.

[1:06:14] Leslie Kritzer: And you ha and there are times where it's easier to balance that, and there are times where it's not.

[1:06:18] Rory O'Malley: People playing different parts understand that.

[1:06:21] Leslie Kritzer: And they immerse themselves into something and everybody's different.

[1:06:24] Rory O'Malley: You know, you create something, it's your baby, and you are vulnerable to whatever the elements are of that, and that encompasses a lot of different things.

[1:06:33] Leslie Kritzer: But you can't do it all the time.

[1:06:36] Rory O'Malley: Like I did this video, I gotta take a break, and the next thing is coming, and but in order for it to be the thing that I want it to be in quality, I don't want to rush it, and I but I don't want to sabotage it by saying I'm not ready and then not doing it because I'm scared.

[1:06:52] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:06:53] Rory O'Malley: And that I'm just swinging back to that in all this balance thing to kind of like make sure you're taking care of yourself, make sure you're balancing yourself, and yet don't put stuff that you want to make happen on the back burner because you're scared.

[1:07:08] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:07:09] Rory O'Malley: When when the time is right, you will do it, but sometimes it's never the right time.

[1:07:13] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:07:14] Rory O'Malley: So push through it, push through the uncomfortability of whatever that is, and try to balance it the best you can.

[1:07:23] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:07:23] Rory O'Malley: Do the best you can, I guess.

[1:07:24] Leslie Kritzer: Do the best you can, and then just keep and keep going.

[1:07:27] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:07:28] Leslie Kritzer: Move on.

[1:07:29] Rory O'Malley: I can't even listen to that.

[1:07:32] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah, but it's but it's absolutely true that you have to put put it out there, and honestly, if you don't, just like what you said about uh doing the taco truck video, you had to do it just or you wouldn't forgive yourself.

[1:07:44] Rory O'Malley: And I think sometimes like when I did my my one man show at Joe's pub, pub crawl, I thought about doing that for almost 10 years.

[1:07:52] Leslie Kritzer: Ten years.

[1:07:53] Rory O'Malley: When I finally did it, I absolutely did it because I was like, I can't think about this for one more second, or I'll go crazy.

[1:08:05] Leslie Kritzer: So I don't care if it's the worst thing that's ever been put on a stage.

[1:08:10] Rory O'Malley: I can't think about it anymore.

[1:08:13] Leslie Kritzer: And I did it, it was the most fulfilling thing I've ever done as an as an artist.

[1:08:21] Rory O'Malley: And it's not be it's not because every the world stopped and said we need to all pay tribute to what just happened on this stage.

[1:08:32] Leslie Kritzer: It's because it got out of my head and that it changed me and my cellular structure of of who I am as a person and an artist.

[1:08:41] Rory O'Malley: And that's enough.

[1:08:43] Leslie Kritzer: It's enough for you to be able to s to put something out there into the universe and not worry about what the response is, but just get it out of your head.

[1:08:53] Rory O'Malley: Because if it's just sitting in there jingling around, it's not doing you or anybody any good.

[1:09:00] Leslie Kritzer: No, and you and you have and I say this looks like it sounds really cheesy.

[1:09:04] Rory O'Malley: But you have a little bit of responsibility to listen to it.

[1:09:08] Leslie Kritzer: I do believe in the synchronicity of things.

[1:09:11] Rory O'Malley: I believe in a spiritual connection of things.

[1:09:14] Leslie Kritzer: And anytime I put something out there, I there's some weird connection that I might not see at the time, but it was meant to happen.

[1:09:19] Rory O'Malley: I was meant to put it out there for a reason.

[1:09:21] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:09:22] Rory O'Malley: You doing pub crawl, and I wish I'd been able to see it really, the whole story about what PubCrawl and the the entire thing, because I remember you telling me in the initial like this the whole story, because I don't want to ruin it for anybody just in case you do again.

[1:09:37] Leslie Kritzer: That helps somebody in some sort of way, maybe not just yourself, but some sort of other thing and we also haven't been been given this gift of communication, I think, especially you.

[1:09:49] Rory O'Malley: You you communicate so beautifully.

[1:09:51] Leslie Kritzer: I when I watch you I trust you and I something seeps in on another level, I think for people that is really amazing when you're l watching this kind of work.

[1:10:04] Rory O'Malley: Do you know what I'm saying?

[1:10:05] Leslie Kritzer: It's fun, it's funny, but there's also layers to it.

[1:10:08] Rory O'Malley: Um, I was gonna get into something else there and I don't remember what, but I think um I'm so glad that you did it.

[1:10:17] Leslie Kritzer: And we had talked about it.

[1:10:18] Rory O'Malley: We went to see my public show, and you were talking about it, and I think, you know, sometimes be like, well, I just like you know, and I've just went through this recently, and I'll just touch on it lightly.

[1:10:28] Leslie Kritzer: It's like, well, I just you know, if if it's not gonna make me money, like I don't want to do that if like, you know, and even New York Times review it.

[1:10:37] Rory O'Malley: Like, if if blah blah doesn't come and review it, then like, you know, I don't know, and like my manager's like, blah blah blah blah blah.

[1:10:43] Leslie Kritzer: It's you can get really wrapped up in that, and I've been guilty of it.

[1:10:47] Rory O'Malley: What I learned from this past experience is that the work's not over, and by say the work, I just mean the creative, the process of it.

[1:10:55] Leslie Kritzer: Like, I'm sure maybe you'll do it again if you want to do it again if you want to do it again.

[1:11:00] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[1:11:01] Leslie Kritzer: Um I want to keep creating things.

[1:11:03] Rory O'Malley: I've learned a lot.

[1:11:04] Leslie Kritzer: A big lesson that I learned is that I can't rely on other people to have the same vision as me for things.

[1:11:13] Rory O'Malley: Right.

[1:11:14] Leslie Kritzer: Um I had to leave a relationship this week.

[1:11:17] Rory O'Malley: That was that was hard, but in my gut I knew it was the right thing to do.

[1:11:21] Leslie Kritzer: Um, because I have to put more of the responsibility on myself with creating some of this stuff.

[1:11:27] Rory O'Malley: I can't expect someone else to take what I've given them as a thing and run with it yet.

[1:11:36] Leslie Kritzer: I'm not I need to kind of still find my own voice with my work, and then I can put more pressure on someone in management to to be more on board with me.

[1:11:48] Rory O'Malley: Um, I I left a relationship, and this, you know, this is probably a long uh we probably talked enough, but like I had to leave a manager, and it was my choice to leave.

[1:11:57] Leslie Kritzer: And it's not the first time it's happened, but it's I really realized something.

[1:12:01] Rory O'Malley: It's like I I know myself and I have a great agent, I love her.

[1:12:06] Leslie Kritzer: But I took on this manager to kind of maybe help me move with in another direction with in a literary way and in my own stuff aside from auditioning for things, and it didn't work out, and because uh we just don't work the same way.

[1:12:20] Rory O'Malley: But I also can't uh fault this person for not working the way I need them to work, right?

[1:12:27] Leslie Kritzer: Because they uh A wasn't the right match, B, I need to put out more stuff, I need to create more.

[1:12:35] Rory O'Malley: And I shouldn't think of someone else doing the job.

[1:12:38] Leslie Kritzer: I should think about me creating just to do it, not to be a thing.

[1:12:42] Rory O'Malley: Remember, we talked about the if I'm gonna get here.

[1:12:45] Leslie Kritzer: It's like no, I don't really need that right now.

[1:12:49] Rory O'Malley: I just want to create because I want to.

[1:12:51] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:12:52] Rory O'Malley: Like you said about your show.

[1:12:53] Leslie Kritzer: And then whatever comes from it comes.

[1:12:56] Rory O'Malley: But the relationship wasn't the right one for me.

[1:13:00] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:13:01] Rory O'Malley: And I had to have the courage to leave, which I did.

[1:13:03] Leslie Kritzer: Right.

[1:13:03] Rory O'Malley: Um, which was hard.

[1:13:05] Leslie Kritzer: It was this, you know, it's um, it could have been useful at some point.

[1:13:11] Rory O'Malley: But yeah, so no, it's it's very, very difficult, and I've been in that situation more than once.

[1:13:17] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah.

[1:13:18] Rory O'Malley: And I I feel like it kind of goes back to the permission thing that I was talking about because a lot of times with representation, you want those people to be the ones who are saying, I'm giving you permission, I'm giving you the path.

[1:13:34] Leslie Kritzer: Here you go, you can do it.

[1:13:36] Rory O'Malley: And you can do it, you know, to be your cheerleader, to be uh your resource of how things are gonna happen.

[1:13:44] Leslie Kritzer: And that's just that's just not the case.

[1:13:46] Rory O'Malley: You are always the one who is in charge, whether you like it or not.

[1:13:52] Leslie Kritzer: And you are the one who is going to create your your path and your decisions, and and I you know, if you keep waiting for somebody to come along who's gonna come like find you and say, Where this person is amazing.

[1:14:07] Rory O'Malley: I'm going to push aside the price.

[1:14:11] Leslie Kritzer: What you've heard that where have you I mean, yeah, how have you not?

[1:14:17] Rory O'Malley: Right, right.

[1:14:18] Leslie Kritzer: Well, we need to let's talk, you know, and uh you know, I've I've I certainly have fallen for that, you know, in my youth.

[1:14:32] Rory O'Malley: And I don't mean fall for it like they were um trying to con me, but I know that no one understands what I need to do or myself better than me, and that nobody is going to be able to guide me in the way that I can guide myself, and but in fact, you know what?

[1:14:55] Leslie Kritzer: That's the only person who can guide me as well as myself now is my husband. That's who it is. He's my manager, he yeah, and I know we I know that we are we are lucky that we have people who are in our life that we can go to who trust, who have the exact same interests as we do. That isn't about a commission, although my husband thinks he should get a commission. I don't know what that means. Or she should have pushed me off of a roof, you know, by now. Yeah, I mean, it's you know, you have to have your support group around you who really knows who you are at your core, and will give you the right kind of advice. And you know, if that's your boyfriend, your husband, your wife, your best friend, your fellow artists, they're such an important part of keeping you on the tracks, much more than somebody who's going to be getting 10% of whatever job you get, because that job might not be exactly what you should be doing, you know, and I think that we both are lucky with you know the people who represent us, and I think that it's been a really long journey for me to get to a place where I'm really happy and feel right like you know secure in that relationship.

I've had a lot of great people along the way, but too much emphasis when you get into the business is put on what agent you're with, and signing with an agent, and you know, that that's going to give you the keys to the kingdom. There are no keys. There are no keys. There are no keys. Although sometimes it feels that way. It feels like somebody got them and they got in there, and you're like, hey, where no one told us to this. Okay, I've been scaling this wall. How do you get those keys, man? I've been scaling this wall. I've been scaling this wall. I've been scaling. I've been. How did you just get in? You just walked right in with some keys. I'm right below you going, wait, did that guy get in the board?

We're both have our climbing equipment. Um it does seem that way though, sometimes it does. It does, but I mean, I don't think that any performer would ever feel like they were just handed keys. No, you know, we've all had our own struggles, paths, and there are plenty of people listening to us talk without like, are they kidding me? Yeah, you know, like go to hell basically. And you know what? I get it. Me too. Because you basically look at other people and you compare and you despair, and you think, well, where am I in the scheme of things and what am I getting? And you know, and it's hard. It's hard not to do that. But um at the end of the day, you just have to go to those people who really know you and ground you in who you are.

Right. I did I think I learned a lesson this week, that you know, it's like that's on looking for love and all no manager's gonna give you that. No agent's gonna give you that. It's not their job. It's not their job to give you that. Uh uh, and it's not necessarily what I was looking for. I think this particular relationship just was not right for me, but it also set off an alarm in me about myself. And it's and it said, and I didn't know we're gonna go soon, Gabby have to go to work. Um, which is yeah, you know, you can't expect for people to build the house for you. Yeah, you're building your own house, okay? Like my work is my house. I can't expect them to come in and start building all this stuff without the foundation.

I'm building that foundation. Okay, I'll have the guy come in and do the wallpaper and I'll have the fixtures and all that stuff. I'm really not ready for that I'm still building my foundation so I was expecting something that I wasn't really ready for actually and at some point I will be but I think now something inside me is like no you you just you're not done building yet and then you'll know it just wasn't the right time right now you keep doing what you're doing right life's really good you keep doing what you're doing this relationship wasn't right people are gonna think what they're gonna think let 'em and just move on and it's more complicated than that but I don't you know it's it's not the particulars that matters it's it's about being self-aware and keeping my side of the street clean and I'm trying to do that in the midst of a little bit of kerfufflery.

[1:19:47] Rory O'Malley: Sure.

[1:19:48] Leslie Kritzer: Um but I'm so glad that you asked me to do this.

[1:19:51] Rory O'Malley: Of course I I apologize to the people listening. I literally didn't realize that this latte there were three shots of espresso so I I probably it was like an ADHD conversation.

[1:20:01] Leslie Kritzer: Every conversation I have I think it was really cafe influence.

[1:20:06] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god No this was great we covered so many things we do and now we have to do shows and and I do want to say to the people that are listening at whatever level you're at um I really do love what I do. I do it we talk about being on the edge of like oh God and being too you know too ambitious or this or that or running, but at the base of it all, I'm still that kid in high school. Right. That when I got to do Maggie in a chorus line, which was like the biggest thing in the world to me, that love for being an actor and creator or whatever, is even when I'd make radio shows on my little tape recorder in my closet. Yeah, I'm still have that wonder and that excitement. Um if I can act if I can keep that positive curious mind.

Uh it's not there all the time, but if I can access it from time to time and keep going back to that place, it is it's really, really good. Yeah. Because that's why I got into this in the first place. I didn't get into it for money, although as I'm getting older, it's it's certainly an issue, but that wonder and that curiosity, if you have that, keep going. Just keep keep doing it. Right. Whatever it is, whatever it is, you know. Right. So that's all I got. Thank you.

[1:21:33] Leslie Kritzer: Thank you for giving us all you have. As you always do.

[1:21:40] Rory O'Malley: I'm like Tony Robbins.

[1:21:43] Leslie Kritzer: Did you watch that?

[1:21:45] Rory O'Malley: I'm not your guru.

[1:21:46] Leslie Kritzer: Oh yeah.

[1:21:47] Rory O'Malley: Pick up the phone.

[1:21:48] Leslie Kritzer: Are you kidding?

[1:21:48] Rory O'Malley: Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Leslie.

[1:21:50] Leslie Kritzer: I have to tell you, this is embarrassing. I saw a tweet that it was coming out, and I waited until it showed up on my Netflix, which was at 3 a.m. Because it was Pacific Coast Time. And I'm not even that obsessed with him, but I knew I was like, this is gonna be my jam. I want to see what happens in this thing.

[1:22:13] Rory O'Malley: Pick up the phone.

[1:22:14] Leslie Kritzer: That was so intense.

[1:22:16] Rory O'Malley: That was intense.

[1:22:17] Leslie Kritzer: There was a the Tony Robbins uh Netflix show.

[1:22:20] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:22:20] Leslie Kritzer: Oh, it's intense. I what I want to do is go to that, because you know, I'll I'm all about Oprah.

[1:22:27] Rory O'Malley: Me too.

[1:22:28] Leslie Kritzer: I'm all about you know, I'm I've I need it. We do, I love it. And my husband, a normal person, he's literally like, oh my god, I can't believe you. I what I want to do is bring him to a Tony Robbins convention. I see the look on his face. Because my husband's like That's what we should do. We should bring our husbands to a Tony Robbins convention. Because they're the spouses of people like crazies.

[1:22:56] Rory O'Malley: Of crazy people.

[1:22:56] Leslie Kritzer: Oh my god! But by the way, my I talked to Gerald this morning and he says hello.

[1:23:02] Rory O'Malley: Aww.

[1:23:02] Leslie Kritzer: And you know how much he loves you and thinks you are the funniest, most wonderful person. He saw you in Legally Blonde. I think he's gonna be mad that I don't know the exact number, but it was like six or seven times.

[1:23:15] Rory O'Malley: I can't even believe that.

[1:23:16] Leslie Kritzer: I saw I saw it, and you know I'm obsessed with Legally Blonde. It's one of my favorite movies, first of all, and the show was you're you were you were amazing in that, and um your career and who you are is to me just so interesting, wonderful, exciting, and you're the kind of Broadway performer, the kind of artist that I aspire to be. And and I think that you know, you're just fun. I mean, to the fact that I got to work with you and nobody loves you at second stage, which we had so much fun. I saw Heathan Aleck yesterday.

[1:23:56] Rory O'Malley: Yes, right.

[1:23:56] Leslie Kritzer: Yes, we had so much fun doing that a few years ago. Um, you know, I I mean that there's I didn't know you when I was seeing you in Legally Blonde and then and so excited about what you were putting out there, so to get to work with you and get to know you now as a person and and be friends with you is it's a cool part of this business. It's really cool to get to be thrown into rooms with people you respect in so many different ways. So it's it's amazing. And you are, you know, everyone looks to you as and I'm not just doing this because you were just so sweet to me, but it just dawned on me too, again, like your um humanitarian stuff that you do. That's like oh and and yeah, before we end this, like let's just say for someone that is yes, wanting to do the thing and ambitious and that blind, you have given a chunk of yourself to that effort to for no reason except wanting to support that, and that is selfless.

[1:25:03] Rory O'Malley: Well, yes, thank you.

[1:25:04] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah. Except I really wanted to marry Gerald. So that's uh, you know, I did have a little bit of a selfish. I mean, I literally wanted to marry the guy. That's it and uh yeah, no, I mean it's it what I would say and what I've you know brought up in in this podcast is that being able to be a part of something that was outside of just the ambition, it's it's what saved my life and kept me in the business.

[1:25:28] Rory O'Malley: And there you go.

[1:25:29] Leslie Kritzer: I think that uh Gerald's really, really cute.

[1:25:33] Rory O'Malley: I know.

[1:25:34] Leslie Kritzer: He has beautiful skin.

[1:25:36] Rory O'Malley: Does he do something special?

[1:25:37] Leslie Kritzer: Um no.

[1:25:40] Rory O'Malley: It's like no, I'm getting he he's definitely into his products.

[1:25:45] Leslie Kritzer: No, I I can't well what about the hair?

[1:25:47] Rory O'Malley: No, it's like the hair is what you're gonna get worried, you're like, listen, just don't touch anyone.

[1:25:52] Leslie Kritzer: I mean, come on. He's so cute.

[1:25:55] Rory O'Malley: He's he's so cute, I know.

[1:25:57] Leslie Kritzer: He's so cute. The skin is.

[1:25:58] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, actually, I'm gonna call him right now and make sure he's at home. He's uh what is it, one ten in the morning? It's three hours.

[1:26:06] Leslie Kritzer: No, he's at the beach today.

[1:26:08] Rory O'Malley: He's at the beach.

[1:26:10] Leslie Kritzer: Uh yeah, in the LA at the beach. A nice warm October twenty first.

[1:26:17] Rory O'Malley: What is it? I'd love to get a job out there. It's the only way I could stay out there. I was so depressed. It's a different ate my feelings every day during it.

[1:26:25] Leslie Kritzer: Yeah, yeah. I call it again rejection season. It's a really fun time. By the way, before we go, I do want to I just learned, I've just remembered. I wrote a scene in this script that takes place at your wedding.

[1:26:34] Rory O'Malley: What?

[1:26:44] Leslie Kritzer: I totally forgot. Yeah, I totally when it's done, if I keep the scene, yeah, it took place, but it's not Rory's wedding. Right. It was the setting is your wedding. Right. This big fight that happens between two people.

[1:27:00] Rory O'Malley: Is that your wedding?

[1:27:01] Leslie Kritzer: There was a big fight at my wedding. No, but it was inspired by that night. Okay. And outside of the Edison Ballroom and then the stairwell.

[1:27:10] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:27:11] Leslie Kritzer: And the scene takes place where these two people are watching this wedding happen. Right. And I just thought of it. Like I'm watching the wedding, it's so beautiful and everything, and then I'm like, and then when I wrote the scene, I thought about the wedding later and it's these two people and they're watching the scene something with the vows, and something triggers something, and these two people get into a fight and it's in the stairwell.

[1:27:31] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god.

[1:27:32] Leslie Kritzer: With the picture. Didn't you guys have like a picture?

[1:27:35] Rory O'Malley: No.

[1:27:36] Leslie Kritzer: Okay, so I had a sing at Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday at the Edison Ballroom. Long story. So what I did was I combine the wedding and the aspects of the 40th birthday. Yeah. Was the fact that her and um Anthony, what's his face? Right. That were married at the time. They had big pictures of themselves and her all over the Edison ballroom and the children. Huge pictures. So during the fight on the stairwell, there's a huge picture of the two grooms, whoever they would be like in the script. Like this. And these two people are having this humongous fight right under the So I combined the two, but I just remembered. I said, Oh my god, I wrote that scene. I remember it was after Rory's wedding, and I wrote the scene. The way I described it is the exact how your wedding exactly looked.

[1:28:28] Rory O'Malley: Oh my god.

[1:28:28] Leslie Kritzer: But it wasn't about the wedding itself. It was what triggered the vows and these two people not being happy or married. Right. And so yeah. It's that's so weird. Anyway, that was so random. Two years ago now.

[1:28:41] Rory O'Malley: Two years ago.

[1:28:42] Leslie Kritzer: Two years.

[1:28:45] Rory O'Malley: Still at it.

[1:28:45] Leslie Kritzer: I have a lot of good advice on how to get through two years. Just ditch him in on the West Coast.

[1:28:52] Rory O'Malley: Sometimes see how it works out.

[1:28:55] Leslie Kritzer: But yeah, it's pretty crazy that it's been two years. And how long are you in Hamilton for? Like unended, right?

[1:29:01] Rory O'Malley: Yeah.

[1:29:03] Leslie Kritzer: Basically. I mean forever until they take that scepter from my cold gay hands.

[1:29:12] Rory O'Malley: I mean, I I don't know. I I'm really I love doing it. Obviously, the only concern I have is that Gerald and I get in the same city. So we'll see.

[1:29:23] Leslie Kritzer: To be continued.

[1:29:24] Rory O'Malley: To be continued.

[1:29:24] Leslie Kritzer: Right now it's working.

[1:29:25] Rory O'Malley: That's right. Well, I love you, Leslie Kritzer.

[1:29:29] Leslie Kritzer: Thank you so much.

[1:29:31] Rory O'Malley: Yeah, let's go to our matinees.

[1:29:32] Leslie Kritzer: All right. Bye.

[1:29:33] Rory O'Malley: Bye.

[1:29:36] ♪ Musical number: "Audition" — performed by Leslie Kritzer ♪

[1:29:39] Rory O'Malley: Believe it or not, you're living a dream.