This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Jessica Rush: As our beloved Broadway community approaches a return, we are following four working artist mothers from both sides of the table and across diverse worlds as they emerge from this time of togetherness with their children.

[0:13] Jessica Rush: Two became pregnant and gave birth in the 17 months since the shutdown, while the other two paused the eight show a week mom life juggle and are having to readapt to time away from their sweet babes, knowing now just how precious the moments with them are.

[0:28] Jessica Rush: Tony nominee Elizabeth Stanley, Moulin Rouge's Corey Petinod, choreographer Lauren Lataro, and Come From Away's Pearl Sun share their stories in our special four-part mini-series, Returning Reborn, the Rebirth of the Broadway Mom.

[1:10] Jessica Rush: Thanks so much for tuning in. Welcome to this episode of Mamas Talkin' Loud.

[1:13] Brooke Jacob: Hi, and I'm Brooke Jacob, not Cara Cooper.

[1:19] Jessica Rush: What?

[1:20] Brooke Jacob: What's happening, Jessica?

[1:21] Jessica Rush: Exactly. Um, I so to let you know, a little back scoop and backstory about how we got here. You might have noticed that we haven't had a new episode in a few weeks. Truth of the matter, Kara and I are drowning in this return to quote-unquote the new normal, whatever this is, still in a pandemic life.

[1:43] Jessica Rush: And uh, and we just have not been able to make things happen in the same way we did when we were just chilling at our houses. So, um, so we thought, A, we're gonna do an episode where I'm gonna tell you what it's been like for me to go back to work. We have the Returning Reborn series that we spoke with, you know, Elizabeth Stanley, we're talking to her off and on, Corey Petinod, Pearl Sun, following these mothers as they have returned to work and the Broadway community has started back up again.

[2:11] Jessica Rush: Uh, and then we thought maybe I should talk about my experience because I'm returning as well, returning reborn. And uh, and then Kara had an idea. She said, You know what? Brooke, she's like, Why don't we have Brooke do it? Because it was actually Brooke's idea to talk.

[2:26] Brooke Jacob: It was I wanted I wanted to know yes, this information.

[2:32] Jessica Rush: Yes, I was talking to Brooke and lamenting the fact that, like, I don't know. We can we gotta find people we we don't know who we're gonna talk to, it's so hard, and this and that and life. And Brooke was like, I love it when you and Kara talk, and y'all just talk about what y'all are doing and the banter between you two, so why don't you do one of those and talk about what it's been like for you to return?

[2:50] Jessica Rush: And uh, and then when I pitched it to Kara, she was like, Why don't we have Brooke do it? Brooke has listened since day one. We actually didn't even know each other then. That's we're gonna get into that. But um, she's a she's an awesome friend and and fan of the podcast, and she has listened to all the episodes, and she's in our world as well, and so we thought, let's try it, let's do something different.

[3:12] Brooke Jacob: This is so fun, Jessica.

[3:13] Jessica Rush: It's true.

[3:13] Brooke Jacob: So I've listened to every episode. I had it wrong though. I thought that the first one was Celia and second was Laura, but I went back. I was like, I I'm a, you know, interviewer person now, so I need to do my research when I come.

[3:23] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[3:24] Brooke Jacob: And I went back and it was so funny as they were talking and like their ages, what ages the kids were. Yeah, and I was like, Oh, like, yeah. So I went back for a second. But I I'm embarrassed to realize I think I've missed like two episodes, which actually made me excited because I was like, Oh, oh now I know what I can do.

[3:38] Jessica Rush: Oh, yeah, which ones do you think you missed?

[3:41] Brooke Jacob: I don't remember. I have to look back. It was like two that I was like, maybe or maybe I had and I wasn't positive. But I yeah, I've I've listened to some of them twice. I've cried.

[3:49] Jessica Rush: I know.

[3:50] Brooke Jacob: I know it's a thing. You know what? Funny story. The thing about you saying you thought Celia was first, but it was Laura. Celia was actually the very first episode we ever recorded.

[4:00] Jessica Rush: Oh.

[4:01] Brooke Jacob: She actually was our very first guest, but we didn't use hers to launch. We used Laura's to launch.

[4:05] Jessica Rush: Well, it was funny. So she said in it, she's And they're very good friends. I think they were finishing up. They thought they were finishing up, but didn't realize they were coming back. But that was before the pandemic. It was like, oh my gosh, nobody knows that what's even to come.

[4:16] Brooke Jacob: What's to come?

[4:17] Jessica Rush: I know. Listening to them now, like pre-pandemic episodes, and you're like, we had no idea.

[4:22] Brooke Jacob: Literally, like Lisa Gaida's episode we recorded in February of 2020, and she laments how like, oh my god, this flu season and my kids and they've been sick and they won't stop being sick, and we're just trapped inside our house.

[4:36] Jessica Rush: You were like, and a month later, good times.

[4:41] Brooke Jacob: Okay, stop interrupting because you're still in charge until I take the lead.

[4:44] Jessica Rush: No, okay, let me so okay. So now I pass the baton to Brooke.

[4:49] Brooke Jacob: Okay, well, hello everybody. Welcome to Mamas Talkin' Loud.

[4:54] Brooke Jacob: Okay, I first of all just had to say I'm so excited to do this and very nervous because I've never interviewed somebody and it's showing me how amazing it is what you and Kara do. Kara, Jessica, thank you for letting me do this.

[5:04] Jessica Rush: Yes.

[5:05] Brooke Jacob: Um well, first off, I like to begin uh this podcast. Can you please tell us about Elliot?

[5:14] Jessica Rush: I want to do this right.

[5:16] Jessica Rush: Yes. Um, so Elliot is seven and change. Seven in just a couple months, actually. Um, and she's in the second grade, and she is thrilled to be back in school. She is she loves hip hop. She loves singing. Like we'll be sitting here watching TV and something's on, and she starts singing the desk like a desk can't. She's making up riffs and such.

[5:39] Jessica Rush: Um not always in the most amazing way. But you know, she's she's finding her groove. She's figuring it out. She also, though, is real sassy. Like the sass is starting to come out, and I think it's partly like being back at school with other people and this age as a girl and the things that she tends to watch on TV, like Miraculous and such. And I have to put the kibosh on some of that because I can't the sass is not that cute.

[6:08] Jessica Rush: We need a little sass, enough sass that she doesn't let people take advantage and that she lets them know what's up, but not so much sass that I have to turn to her and say, uh, excuse me. No, ma'am. No, ma'am, you don't talk like that.

[6:20] Brooke Jacob: Oh that's your subject.

[6:22] Jessica Rush: And then she goes, Yeah, exactly. And then she goes, I'm just kidding. I was like, mm-hmm. I got your number.

[6:27] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[6:28] Jessica Rush: So we have to we have to address that. But she's great otherwise. She's super kind. And we had her parent teacher conference the other day, and her teacher said, I wish I had lots of more students like Elliot, which is like, you know, she said she's so encouraging of others, and that she is always ready to learn, and she is super excited to be in school.

[6:48] Jessica Rush: And that just made it like that was awesome. Because after the year of the pandemic, homeschooling her and not being around kids, and this is a new school than we were at before. It's all it's been a lot. And so to hear that she's doing well enough to make her presence known in that way, you know, and to be recognized as someone who's happy to be there and excited to learn. That was really that's all you can ask for, I think, right? Like a good, a kind a kind heart. So that was nice.

[7:13] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[7:14] Jessica Rush: And I I get to say I I I know Elliot very well because I get to see her every week on class. I get to be one of her teachers that gets to love how she is, and it's true. She's always um she is incredibly kind. And I've told you this before. I see funny bits of myself and her as a little kid, like when she she wants to be really good and she wants to do it right, and um and she is always encouraging of other kids. She's a such a cool kid.

[7:41] Brooke Jacob: Well, thank you.

[7:42] Jessica Rush: Yes, y'all. Shout out to Brooke. Brooke uh runs Scamper Theater for kids and Elliot does it. I've talked about it before, and I've posted, I think, about it on Mamas Talkin' Loud, but Elliot loves it. It's one of her favorite hours of the week.

[7:54] Jessica Rush: And during the pandemic, it was particularly awesome on Zoom because Eric and I would go into the bedroom of the one bedroom apartment we were staying in and get in bed with our hot coffee. And it was the only time in the week we weren't having to be like completely engaged with our child because it was just the three of us. And it was the best.

[8:11] Brooke Jacob: I do have to say something, and you can edit it out. But she she just mentioned her one bedroom apartment. I don't know if Jessica's told you about her incredible apartment that she's moved to.

[8:23] Brooke Jacob: I know, but first of all, you it's just you've lived the dream. This is amazing. Her apartment's amazing. And I wanted to say because you've manifested it, we both talked a lot when we were both away. We both, what's the word? We're the displaced New Yorkers, and I'm just so happy for you because you have an incredible uh thank you place that feels like home that you could live in forever. Really, don't anyone take it away from me.

[8:42] Jessica Rush: I will fight you.

[8:44] Brooke Jacob: Yeah. I will fight you to know it. It's amazing. No, that's the thing, and you sort of touched on that. It's like Brooke and I didn't really know each other at all when the pandemic started.

[8:53] Jessica Rush: No.

[8:53] Brooke Jacob: Um, we'd met a couple times um in the neighborhood c and that was it. And then we started Marco Poloing.

[9:00] Jessica Rush: Yeah, I don't even remember how it started, but we just there.

[9:03] Brooke Jacob: And then we became like the person for each other in a lot of ways. Cause like she said, we were both displaced, and there weren't a lot of people that stayed displaced for the whole time. We had talked about there were at least for me, there was obviously more categories. There were the people that had were just in their apartments and stayed, and that was it, and then the people that had their homes in the suburbs, and they did that, and then it was me and you that I knew that had left, but we were like, Well, we're coming back, I just don't know when, and it was that weird thing, and so I think we did connect over that. But yes, she you are back, and you need to stay in this place forever because it's a dream.

[9:33] Jessica Rush: It is a dream. Um let's get to all right, let's get to the big stuff. First, just how how are you feeling? You are back and you are this is your first original lead role, right?

[9:48] Jessica Rush: Yes, it's the first original principal contract. It's the first time I've originated a principal role on Broadway.

[9:55] Brooke Jacob: And I saw Jessica in the role, and she's amazing. I got to go to the invited dress. I uh it she's awesome. She won't say that, so I'm allowed to do that. She's so great. I was crying under my mask, just knowing, you know, I knew you had done it before, but I wasn't friends with you before when you were doing it. So knowing the pause and you waiting and um, you know, being in the audience that night when it was very emotional. It was crazy.

[10:19] Jessica Rush: That was crazy to see you up there. And that was crazier even than like what I thought the first show back would be, like with the paying audience. The invited dress was the paying audience then sort of that night. It was still cool, but like the invited dress, because it was so many people of our families, friends, of the community. Um the energy was insane.

[10:43] Brooke Jacob: No, and it was I just have to say it was so amazing to see you up there because obviously we see friends perform all the time and it's we're used to it but it had been a long time since seeing someone you know and so I did have that funny feeling of like oh I see you like without your makeup and just being a mom and then I was like oh that's that's Jessica doing her thing like doing her thing.

[11:02] Jessica Rush: I was with my mom and she's like that's the that's the one you know I was like yeah that's you know and it was that funny feeling of like oh she's that like she's doing her thing.

[11:12] Brooke Jacob: Um we didn't even really talk about it.

[11:14] Jessica Rush: No, we did it.

[11:14] Brooke Jacob: It was late and I was like I have to go to bed but right it was yeah it was really funny to be like oh there she is like she is in her element.

[11:20] Brooke Jacob: Okay, so now my first questions how is it going back? What is it feel like to you?

[11:27] Jessica Rush: Um so many things. It's been incredible, it's been overwhelming, it's been emotional, it's been heavy, it's been light, it's been literally I I mean I feel like when people say like how are you I just sort of want to throw up my hands and be like I mean I'm here. We're doing it. Like I just feel like I'm well first off I'm drowning now.

[11:51] Jessica Rush: I mean I thought I kept thinking like we came back to the show and I had put on you know I've talked before about Ivy and Clark you the listeners know that I started that during the pandemic and I didn't put the shop on pause but I wasn't I haven't been giving much energy to it with regard to like Instagram or advertising or anything like that. But orders have still been coming in but I had to sort of put that to the side and then because I was focusing on getting the show back and I kept thinking like once the show's back then I'll have my days free.

[12:17] Jessica Rush: Elliot will be back in school and I'll have more time and things will be great. And it just keeps I keep thinking like, well and then this will happen. And then it'll be easier. Okay, well let me get through this time and then it'll be easier. And nothing is getting easier.

[12:31] Jessica Rush: I mean it's been um you know unexpectedly Eric went back to work. We weren't expecting that Waitress came out of nowhere and that was a blessing and he went back to work in August and then I went back in September right when he started performances and you know we're also just not just getting back into the groove of eight shows a week and that life but also without my parents living with us which has been a massive adjustment.

[12:56] Jessica Rush: Um 'cause they lived with us from the time Elliot was one and a half. So this is now we have to like schedule sitters and we have you know my dad they still take her like my dad does is with her on Thursday and then on Friday she goes and spends the night at their apartment which is amazing and has a sleepover so that you know that's fun. But that means Tuesday, Wednesday, Sunday anytime something comes up unexpectedly like I have to scramble.

[13:20] Jessica Rush: Um and that's been an adjustment. Like there are literally this I remember this happening. I was going to the opening of Lion King with my bestie and Eric had a show that night but I hadn't gotten a sitter because it wasn't I wasn't back in the routine of it all. And we were like I'm look I'm on the computer and Eric's getting ready to leave for um I think he had like uh he had rehearsal and a preview maybe or something I don't know but he was getting ready to leave and I was like yeah and then I'm going with Michael tonight and then all of a sudden I realized I was like oh my God oh my God who's we have to have someone to take care of Elliot. So then I text my parents I was like I'm so sorry y'all Michael invited me to this and I did not even think about child care.

I didn't it did not even cross my mind because I had been living in a place very much a place of privilege with that regard that like I had my parents there and built in childcare and I was able I could just make plans because I knew one of them would most likely be there because they didn't do a lot of things, you know. And um and of course they came to the rescue because that's why they moved here was to be grandparents, you know. My dad loves that. My dad would be here every night babysitting if I would let him, but I don't want him to because like I want him to have his life too, you know. Anyway, so that was a perfect moment where I thought, oh my gosh, I'm really out of practice. I have not gotten back into the mindset and the headspace of it all.

Um and then on top of it, you know, coming back to work, there was a lot of discussion, obviously last year with Black Lives Matter and with equity and equality with regard to diversity and inclusion in the Broadway community, not just in the country and the world in ways. And um, and so coming back to this show in particular that is made up so heavily of um people of color, specifically black people, um we there were conversations happening throughout the year before we returned, and then as we returned, we uh Broadway Advocacy Coalition graciously came in, our producers had them come in, and we had the general managers in the room, some producers in the room, as well as our band and creatives and ourselves and our company, and we did three days of work um doing you know, affinity groups and exercises and speaking with one another and telling our truths and our experiences and being extremely honest and open and vulnerable and raw and it was incredible and I feel closer to my company than I ever have.

Like I really f it was wonderful at the end. However, in those days, and I think I even told you, like I was just like, I can't stop eating. Like I'm eating a ton and I'm drinking and I'm exhausted, like I'm sleeping. And I was like, what is going on? And I realized it was the emotional weight of what was happening, which is all good things. And I and I think for me, what was and this is something I could talk on a whole different episode about, but like as a white woman, I know that there are privileges that I have had, whether I was conscious of them or not, and in not just in this business, but in the world at large. And I continue to have.

[16:46] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[16:47] Jessica Rush: And to hear them speak as to how it was for them and hear their pain and the trauma and how we contributed in ways we weren't even aware of by our silence, by not even being being aware of things that were being said. That's the thing. It's like stuff was happening and going down that didn't even register in my mindset because of the life I live and and and my truth and um and in this year of learning and listening and unlearning and reading and conversations that I've had with very close friends of mine, um, it's combined with that has been incredible and a gift. It's been it's been hard and it's been emotional and it's you know, white fragility is real. You know, these are like, you know, buzzwords, but they're they are real and and putting aside my own shit and and figuring out my space in in this world and how I can be an advocate and how I can be an ally and how I can use the privilege that I have to lift up those who may not and to lend my support as well when I see things being done, I can step into the space and unfortunately it still makes a difference.

And we've seen that still in our process. That when we speak up, it's different and response is different. And to have our company members say to us, Thank you for doing that, because when you stand up with us, it it does make a difference. Um it's been a lot. That's about Oh, I just Oh my gosh, it's been a lot. We've never got I never get to hug you in real 'cause I see you on the I just I didn't I mean I just it's just been it's been a lot. Like in the best way in the way of learning, in the way of being a better person and broadening my worldview and broadening my view of humanity and holding space and honoring the pain and trauma of my fellow actors and and and learning what I can do to you know, I I I'm trying to raise a better human and we we both are, and they will be, you know, we have to, we must do better, and we must change the narrative and we must recognize um atrocities and um the nasty parts of our history and our life and and how that has shaped uh the stories that are told and what we can do to change that.

That was a lot. Hey, you guys But that's what that's what when people ask me how to talk about it. They're just how I that was we just started, how are you? Oh god. That's how I am. I mean it's a lot in the in the best way. And they're and uh all of us are feeling that. So then take take that, take that work that's being done. Combine it with coming back into a space that is while it is my church and my safe space, I now have to wear a mask in it constantly. I have to be tested three times a week. I have to trust that everyone within the space is also thinking about the fact that my child is not yet vaccinated. She's will be soon, but like we have people with babies, we have people with pregnant wives, we have you know, we all it's up to all of us.

We have to trust one another to keep our jobs going, to keep our health going, all these things. Like the weight of it, the underlying current of stress within this time is massive. And I don't think enough of us are talking about it, and enough of us aren't recognizing it. So y'all know me. I have no filter. I will tell you the truth, and here we are, because it's it's it's me, you know, I'm the only one here today to talk, and I'm gonna tell you, but it's been it's been a lot. And on top of it, figure out sending my child to school and the weight of her wearing a mask to school and being safe at school and oh it's just it's just so many things.

[20:51] Brooke Jacob: Well, you really did jump from zero to all of it and more. I mean we had talked about it because you came back to the city maybe two months before me, and you said it all feels like a dream, like the last eighteen months never happened. I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm now at that point where it is really weird, but um there's this strange I mean, today I was I was with people and I said, I'm sorry, I'm actually just I'm so weird, and you have to give me a sec. I'm just weird. Um I'm not always, but I'm I'm weird, and like it's gonna take me a second to I get over stimulated. I um I'm such an extrovert, but I'm also I'm a you know only child like Elliot, which we talked about, and it's like I like my alone time, and you went, and I'm having to say there's days where I I sometimes want to be at the playground with a lot of moms, and sometimes I'm like, I actually can't do it, but you kind of don't have that grace. You went in.

[21:44] Jessica Rush: Yeah. And not just that you went in, you went back to the show, but now you've also added and this new businesses and all these things, and it's like you're supposed to just be who you were, you know. So be who you were, but yet you are never gonna be that person again. Like I it's I had this feeling, and I t said it on my story the other day. I was backstage, and at the top of the show, um we are off stage singing with that with the rest of the company on nutbush, and so like we're sweetening it a little bit, and I was standing there in my wig and my costume and my robe because I'm I'm you know, it was chilly, and I'm singing, and I'm looking around, and we're not wearing masks because we're singing.

So in that moment I had this out-of-body strange experience, like it could have been March 9th of 2020. Do you know what I mean? March 10th of 2020. It it it felt like it could have been yesterday. Like I know intellectually, obviously, time passed, 18 months went by. I wasn't working, we were not in that space. There was almost two-year period where that show was not happening, and yet it feels like a dream. If and yet it feels like I was there yesterday. Because and I and I think this is similar. I felt this way at being about being a Jersey boys for so long. It's like I marked my life in as to what show I was doing. At least I did for a very long time. Oh, I was doing this show, and then that ended, and then I went to the next one, and I went to the next one.

And being at Jersey Boys for six years, it didn't feel like six years to me because it was only one show. So it was sort of that thing of like, wait, I was 29 when it started, and then I was 37 when it ended, or 36 or whatever. And I was like, how is that possible? Like it was just one show, but it was six years of my life. And that's sort of how I feel with the pandemic. It's like it was 18 months of my life. I mean, but yet it's the same show. I'm wearing the same clothes. I'm doing the same things. It's just we took a giant pause. It's the strangest thing. I can't believe I lived in La Jolla for a year. It feels like a dream. I feel like a broken record sometimes because it just feels because on top of coming back and doing the work with regard to um race and inclusion, there's also just having to honor and hold space for how we feel coming back from the pandemic.

We did that kind of stuff in our rehearsal process too. We each took a moment with you know, we separated into twos and sort of took two minutes and said everything we needed to say about our time in the pandemic, and then we shared it for one another to the company, and the difference of of stories. Some people were like the pandemic was awesome. I hung out with my wife, and we did this, and it was great. And then it was I lost three family members to the pandemic, like right at the beginning after they came to see me in the show in New York. Do you know what I mean? Like, so carrying the person was carrying that weight of like they came to see me. They traveled to see me in this show, and then a month later they were gone because of COVID that they contracted, probably coming to yeah to see me.

And then like with myself and Eric being sick and our friend Nick passing away and my aunt passing away of COVID, like we you have to honor everyone and hold space for where we all are individually because we're all coming back in different ways. Like you're saying, you're weird. I'm still weird. I'm still weird to a certain degree. But I'm less weird in places where I'm I now I'm used to being, you know. Like now I'm ready to be maskless at the theater for most of the time, con totally. It's like we test three times a week. We've now been running for t you know, a month and a half, knock wood, we've done well, we haven't had any cases yet. Oh my god, knock wood. But like I know. But um, so I feel safe there.

You know, especially 'cause the crew is all masked, everyone else is masked. But I don't eat indoors still, you know. And part of that's because not only my show, but my husband's show, that we both have two bubbles that are relying on us to stay safe, to not shut down the show, to not, you know, anyway. But it's just so I know that when you did when you were in La Jolla, that was the first time that you and Eric had like done dinners, you had said with Elliot, and then you had this unit and you're this ex both of you right now it's this example of like you have it all and yet I imagine, not to put words in your mouth, but I wonder like, do you miss bits of the simplicity? Like are there things where you're you know, are there things and also just because we now know as parents they're just truly, there's no such thing as having it all because uh you know, and I'll put words in you can elaborate, but like you can't do an evening show and wake up with a kid and have it all because you're gonna be exhausted. There's some sacrifice.

[26:24] Jessica Rush: So yeah. Well, you know what? Yeah, I do miss the simpler times. Like the year two thousand seven, before the iPhone.

[26:40] Jessica Rush: It's just ultimate it's a necessary evil, but I just think the dumbing down of like America and life in general is I've been watching I've gone back to movies from the year it's like nineteen ninety two thousand four. But it's truly because I rem like I didn't have a phone and I realized that that's the biggest change that I why am I missing that time?

[26:51] Brooke Jacob: Oh.

[26:52] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[26:59] Brooke Jacob: Because you didn't have a phone.

[27:00] Jessica Rush: It breaks my heart. Because now we sit here and we spend so much time on the phone, looking at our phones, social media, doing the thing. And when you have businesses like the podcast, like Ivy and Clark, like ourselves, you know, and you do this with Scamper. It's like we have to be promoting and we have to be trying to drum up business. And yes, it's a necessary evil, but I miss the simpler times. I do miss, you know, I do miss parts of our time in La Jolla. I mean, it was lovely to ease into the day. You know, Elliot would sleep until like eight or eight thirty. We homeschooled her starting at ten. Have coffee, you know, out on the balcony in the Southern California weather, which was always beautiful, you know, which fall's been nailing it here.

So I mean I'm thrilled with that. But I do miss, you know, I don't miss having to decide what to make for dinner or for every meal. I've never liked that part. Um, but I do miss just having a little more time with her because we don't see her as much. I miss her, which is really nice, actually. Instead of being like, Oh my god, please just take her to the beach or something. How is your day? Sort of like I know you did it.

[27:54] Brooke Jacob: Yeah, I know.

[28:02] Jessica Rush: I was here for all of it, um, playing make believe, you know. But um, I do it's hard. I miss parts of it, but also I thrive in this space. My body likes the show schedule, like for my own self. I feel myself getting back to more of who I was. However, I do feel very much like I touched on this at the beginning. We will never I I've always said I'm never you're never as carefree as you were pre-baby, first off. Like I always tell friends that are pregnant, leave your house and just decide to leave your house and then do it like at the same time, like in five minutes, and be like, I'm gonna go to the coffee shop and then stand up, grab your little fanny pack or your crossbody tiny bag with nothing in it, and take yourself to the coffee shop.

[28:46] Brooke Jacob: Grab your mom is talking loud.

[28:47] Jessica Rush: Well, well, we'll get there. Well, we're gonna get there. But like, but pre-baby, you know, the ease of leaving your house. And and you and I always say you will never walk through the world as carefree again once you have a child, no matter what. Like even when they're grown, I you still will think of where they are. Are they safe? What are they doing? You know, and I feel that way after the pandemic. I saw a picture of myself from February of 2020, and that girl is not here anymore. And I was a woman then, I was a mother, I was a woman, all these things, but she is not here. It has, I think, so many of us, it has aged us in our souls, some on our faces, on our bodies, like take away just when you've had COVID and the long haul stuff. It's like just the pandemic, the stress, being in this fight or flight mode for years now on end, almost, of uncertainty, too, is just it's wearing, and we'll never be those people. Nothing's changed, and everything has changed.

[29:48] Brooke Jacob: Everything has changed.

[29:49] Jessica Rush: Yeah. I know you don't balance it all because there's no way, but how are you on a day-to-day?

[29:54] Brooke Jacob: I actually I have like an obsession with knowing people's schedules and how do you do it.

[29:58] Jessica Rush: I do. I love to know. That's like I feel like infatuation or something. Like some there's some like New York magazine or something. I love knowing how it's like I have my systems where I write it. How do I do it? When do I have my most energy? You know, how am I gonna make it work and then still not do my list? But I'm I like to know because you're doing four social media accounts. I'm and I want and the fact that you're still doing Ivy and Clark, which I'm so happy that you're excuse me, still doing it, because you could have stopped, but I I'm curious. Like when you wake up, how do you go like this? Is how we're gonna get it done.

[30:30] Jessica Rush: Well it I have yet to figure it out, really. Every day is a little different still because I'm just getting I've realized that if I go back to bed after so I get up at the alarm goes off at 7 15. I can push it to 7 15. So that means you're getting how many hours of sleep?

[30:51] Brooke Jacob: I like these details.

[30:52] Jessica Rush: I would say on an early show night, I'm usually in bed by midnight, so that's not too bad. That would mean I get home at like 10 15, 10 30, I hang out for an hour with E, and then I go to bed on a late night when it's um on a late night when the show starts at 8, which is Wednesdays, and then it's good because with an early show on Tuesday, Thursday, then that only means that on the school morning that's rough is the Thursday morning after Wednesday at 8 o'clock. Um, and Eric has no shows on Wednesdays, so he takes actually uh Thursday mornings.

[31:28] Jessica Rush: Um, because otherwise I will funny story, okay. Okay, this is gonna be such a long episode, you guys. Maybe two parter. Um, so because I talk, but I have a lot of people. You know what's funny. Oh my god.

[31:37] Brooke Jacob: Questions, girl.

[31:38] Jessica Rush: We have a lot to talk about. No, I'll I'll condense. No, but like when I remember I my fitbit, when we first got to La Jolla, you know how it would tell you how long you sleep. And I was and I'm obsessed with that. I want to know how long I sleep. I need to know these things. So I when I when Eric was in La Jolla doing the show, and I was yes, my parents live with me, but I was still getting up with her so I could see her in the morning, and I was doing the show at night, I was averaging five and a half hours of sleep.

[32:04] Brooke Jacob: Oh that's what my Fitbit told me.

[32:07] Jessica Rush: Five and a half hours. And if I looked at it and you scrolled down, it would vary between like four hours and forty-five minutes. Six and a half. I don't yeah. But I never got more than six and a half. Like that was that was a good night on according to my Fitbit. And then it we get to La Jolla, everything shuts down, and it's like nine hours, eleven hours. Truly, like I was going to sleep when she went to bed basically, like eight thirty, and I was sleeping on it. Like I was my body was catching up. Now I would say I probably I don't have my Fitbit. I have an Apple Watch now and I don't wear it to sleep because it's too distracting. But I think I probably once by the time I zone out, by the time I get to sleep, by the time I put the phone down and stop scrolling mindlessly in bed, um, which is not good. Um I would say I'm probably at like six and a half or seven.

[32:59] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[32:59] Jessica Rush: Maybe maybe seven.

[32:59] Brooke Jacob: No, I liked I don't know why, but I love knowing people's how they do it. I'm you getting through that. I'm a seven to nine person, like truly. Um if I need to, I'll come back up. But like when I first started the performances last month, I came back. I remember there were two days. I came back from putting taking her to school. I got in bed at eight, so now it's like eight thirty. I got back in bed, and we slept until eleven forty five one day.

[33:25] Brooke Jacob: Eleven forty-five.

[33:27] Jessica Rush: And then that's not that's shitty. Because then I wake up and I'm like, my whole day's gone. I have to pick her up in three hours or whatever. And it's like, oh man, now I don't have any time.

[33:36] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[33:37] Jessica Rush: Y'all hear me. Y'all feel me, mamas. Y'all feel me. We're gonna take a quick break. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

[33:51] Brooke Jacob: Okay, so then I I'm skipping because it's already a half hour.

[33:55] Jessica Rush: No, because we're taking like I have to, I'm being a flexible reporter.

[33:59] Brooke Jacob: Uh-huh.

[33:59] Jessica Rush: Am I what am I? A reporter or an interviewer.

[34:01] Brooke Jacob: Interviewer.

[34:01] Jessica Rush: An interviewer, thank you. Um, you're saying you're drowning, and you are finally asking for help, which I'm so proud of, and looking for an assistant.

[34:10] Jessica Rush: I am and why was that so hard for you?

[34:13] Brooke Jacob: Uh, because I like to do everything by myself. I like to do it all. I like to be self-sufficient. I have been for a very long time as like financially I was self-sufficient from like I was working when I was 18, and I've supported myself. I've only had to, thank goodness, knock wood, ask for help like once when I was younger. Do you know what I mean? So, like, I have been working and supporting myself since I was 18, and I've always been that. I've always been like, I can do it. I was that way in high school before I had to work and pay bills. I just it's hard for me to acknowledge that I have failed.

[34:47] Brooke Jacob: Wait, stop it.

[34:48] Jessica Rush: There you go. I'm gonna psychoanalyze you.

[34:50] Brooke Jacob: I think, but you're so forgiving for others.

[34:51] Jessica Rush: Like, I feel like you've done this, you've started this. You started an entire Facebook page to help moms know that they're not alone and ask for help and you need help. But that's hard for you, isn't it?

[35:00] Jessica Rush: Oh, yeah, it's really hard. I'm very, very Capricorn, very like type A.

[35:07] Brooke Jacob: What do we need?

[35:08] Jessica Rush: That's why I started Ivy and Clark. Like, I I saw a problem and I figured out the solution, and then I did it, and I executed it, and I figured out how to do it. I didn't know how to be bracelets. I didn't know how to run a business. I didn't know how to make a logo. I didn't know how to order stickers. I didn't know how to do packaging. I didn't know how to edit episodes of a podcast. I didn't know how to build a website. I didn't know how to do any of these things. But I saw that I had to do something and I had to learn it, and then I did it. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm very much a problem solver in that way. I also can be super lazy, but I have a really hard time asking for help.

[35:39] Brooke Jacob: I take it, I take offense if people help me a lot of times.

[35:44] Jessica Rush: And you know, and then there's also that thing with like with when it comes to having your partner or your husband or your wife or your spouse, and it's like it's just easier for me to do it. Like by the time I explain it to you, it's just let me do it, you know. And then you're doing I'm doing all the things. Right, you know. And he'll say, Well, let me help, which is awesome. He's like, How can I help you? And it's like, well, but I have to explain to you how to help. Like, I can't that it's just faster. Let me just do it. But then I'm trying to do all these things.

[36:10] Brooke Jacob: Well, and I actually listen there, who it was Glenn and Doyle.

[36:13] Jessica Rush: I love her.

[36:14] Brooke Jacob: Who I love. But there was an episode that had stuck with me about the mental load that hit me, and I realized they were talking about that, but that how often we do it ourselves, but then we're watching them having the fun part, playing with the kids while we're cleaning, and it's like, wait, no, I want to do the fun part.

[36:27] Jessica Rush: Oh, yeah.

[36:28] Brooke Jacob: Well, I don't even it's not even like, yeah, I want to play with my kids. But I also want to like sit and read a book.

[36:30] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[36:31] Brooke Jacob: I want to sit and just chill. I want to take a nap in the middle of the day.

[36:34] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[36:35] Brooke Jacob: Because that ha you know what I mean? Like, I want to do it. It's this thing, it's interesting.

[36:41] Jessica Rush: Thanks.

[36:41] Brooke Jacob: Thank you.

[36:42] Jessica Rush: And it's funny because I was interviewing assistants today, which is so weird.

[36:45] Brooke Jacob: So weird, but it also feels really powerful.

[36:47] Jessica Rush: And we're just gonna say it. Like, it's like, oh my God, okay.

[36:50] Brooke Jacob: I'm okay.

[36:51] Jessica Rush: We're doing this. And that's my thing is like I just sort of keep going, right? I just am I could have stopped Ivy and Clark. I could we could stop the podcast. Like, we don't make money doing this podcast, you know. Kara and I do it out of a labor of love, and it's a lot of work, but we do it because we think it's important to amplify voices of specifically working mothers, working artists mothers, and let people know they're not alone, but also let people in and see like this is what it takes.

[37:19] Brooke Jacob: You know, there's a meme going around that talks about like we started calling moms rock stars instead of saying to them, how can we lighten your load? It's something like that. I'm paraphrasing it, but it's like instead of saying, I see this as a lot, I see that you're doing a lot of things. How can we make it better? How can we help you to not have to do all the things? And instead, we were like, Oh my god, you're such a rock star, you're nailing it.

[37:43] Jessica Rush: Well, yeah, I'm nailing it. I'm also gonna collapse under the weight of it. But this is make this is why I'm so glad that you're saying this. Do you realize though we don't know that from you because you do come off like you've got it together?

[37:53] Brooke Jacob: Like, I know that you know nobody does.

[37:55] Jessica Rush: Well, you know what I'm so glad that you're sharing thank you this part of it because on paper, you're in a hot show. You've been amazing. All the things that are amazing, and they are, and you should be so grateful, and they're amazing, and it can still be hard, and you can still be exhausted and still need help.

[38:11] Brooke Jacob: Totally.

[38:11] Jessica Rush: And I think I feel though that I'm very aware of how blessed I am, and I'm grateful, and so there's also probably that also that part of me that's like, Well, I'm not gonna complain about it because what do I have to complain about at the end of the day? We're healthy, knock wood, we're in shows, we have a place to live. You know what I mean? Like, it's I think it's this weird dichotomy.

[38:30] Brooke Jacob: But what I was gonna say is today when I was interviewing assistants, one of the people I interviewed is a mother as well, and she was like, I just want to say, like, the way you worded your ask on your post. She said you were so open and honest with regard to asking for help and that you needed help. And she said, I feel like that's not said very often, and I really appreciate that. It made me feel like I wasn't alone.

[38:53] Jessica Rush: And for me, I don't know any other way to be. I'm very honest. I'm very unfiltered, much to the dismay of my husband sometimes and other people probably. But like we hit it off.

[39:04] Brooke Jacob: Yeah, exactly.

[39:04] Jessica Rush: But like I just I I don't know. What good does it do to bullshit? What good does it do to and I yes, I cultivate an Instagram. I will s occasionally get on there and show the messy parts, but for the most part I don't want to because also I don't Instagram was awesome in the beginning because it was people showing beautiful things, taking photos of interesting, beautiful things, and now it has become something else. But I still like to go on there to see beautiful pictures. That's why I follow a lot of wedding accounts, it's why I follow a lot of baby accounts, it's why I follow a lot of designing like interior design accounts. I just sometimes I just want to see beauty because we see the messes, right?

Especially like living in New York City. It's like I walk out my door and I see the mess and I see the struggle and I see the heartbreak and I see the homeless and I see the crazy, I see all of it, and sometimes you just want to escape, and there aren't many places to escape to anymore.

[39:59] Jessica Rush: Yes, I can read a book, but sometimes I don't even want my brain to work that hard. Movies from the year 1998. Apparently, I should watch 13 Going on 30. Oh my god, I know. I remember it truly though. I did Mean Girls the other day. Yeah. And it's just like, yeah. It's weirdly therapeutic because you're like talking to yourself from then. Mm-hmm. It's a strange. I'm telling you, it's a weird, well, I just want to say thank you for acknowledging my ask and the fact that I did that. I mean, it's I, it, I didn't think much of it when I said it. I mean, I said it's hard to ask for help just because I'm such a, I can do it all. That's just me. Like even with my mother-in-law, you know, she comes to visit and she can be extremely helpful in so many ways, but it's really hard for me.

Or when people, you know, I remember like during the pandemic when they would say, let us help you guys, you know, can we give you a couple hundred dollars to do whatever, like to for the gas to come up to see us? No, it's fine. We got it. It's like still I'm in a pandemic, I have no job, and I'm still saying like no, because it feels like I'm failing. And that's my own, like we can unpack that like therapist. We're gonna, how long we don't have time. That's like a whole nother thing. I think part of it's also like my southern, my like Texas Southern pride. It's the same way if people come over and start to clean my house or pick up or something, it's like how very dare you. That's a tangent.

What else is there, Brooke? Now it's something exciting happening. We're we'll we'll edit because I have to look back. Yeah. Oh yeah, I wanted to know about Elliot. How is she adjusting to all the changes of having, you know, we haven't talked about Elliot, but like that she was home with you every night and then this all these big changes, and you know, we've talked about a little bit because my kids had huge changes, but I was curious, like she went from homeschool to school school.

[41:57] Brooke Jacob: Yeah. Well, it's been interesting because, you know, she was in kindergarten when the shutdown happened. And now to be in second grade, she lost that first grade year of transition where you no longer have the activity corners in your classroom, probably, you know, like where you have free time and free play, but you still have it's not quite as structured, you know, 'cause you're transitioning from kindergarten and then by the time you get to second grade, you're like, okay, now we don't really have much recess and now it's more of like real school. She didn't have that. So that's been a bit of a struggle. Um just because she's like, we don't, uh we don't get much time for recess and we can't play with each other 'cause that's the th because of COVID.

They can't like they can only play with their class and they can't touch each other, they have to do certain things. It's just so there's all that. Ultimately she still loves school though. She wants to be there, you know, which is great. Um and she loves having babysitters. She loves having babysitters. She's definitely had some anxiety at times and she struggles to go to sleep at night. Um without us here sometimes. But I think it's just overall she's doing really well. Overall she, you know, sometimes she laments, oh, it was heartbreaking because I didn't have, I wasn't in the WhatsApp group for the class yet. Like this was like the second week of school, and she kept telling me there's gonna be a playground date, a play date in Central Park on Sunday.

Well, who, what time is it? I don't know. Where is it in Central Park? That is a large space. I don't know who's planning it. Reagan, like this kid in her class. And I was like, well, maybe it's just something she's saying, you know, whatever. And I had no way to get in touch with anyone. Like this was the very beginning, and I didn't know any of other parents because you can't go into the school, you can only, you can't even go into the yard to pick them up, you know, you have to wave and they send them out to you. So like the community aspect has been a struggle to get used to in this new neighborhood. And so on Monday morning, the day after when this playdate was gonna happen, there was a PTA like coffee thing to meet parents.

That was when it was. And there was a mom there from her class, and she was like, oh yeah, we missed you guys at the play date yesterday in the park. And my heart just like, it makes me cry now. It just like broke my heart because she so wants to make new friends. She's such a social kid anyway. And I felt like I had failed her in that moment, which I could only do so much. Like I don't, I didn't know anyone, you know, and we didn't have a classroom list yet. We didn't have anything. And I just knew I was like, she is inside that classroom right now, and I know it's they're talking about it, and sure enough, that day I came home from running an errand, and Eric had picked her up and she was doing her homework, and I went into her room and I was like, how's it going?

She's like, fine. I was like, are you okay? She was like, well, mom, there was a play date yesterday and I wasn't there, and she started to cry. She was like, and they were all talking about it at school today, and how I wasn't there, and I felt so left out and broke. I just, it just looked like Elliot. I literally looked so much like her anyway. Oh, it just looked like broke my heart. So those moments have been, it's been a struggle. I mean, I'm sure everybody's been on the struggle bus, you know, but also she gets to ride the bus to school. She loves that, you know, she's making friends, we have play dates, you know, like it's all getting better. And luckily Edith came down with her to school, so Edith is coming to school down here, so we have her best friend here, and we have Caroline, and like, shout out to Caroline, I know you're listening. And you know, but overall I'd say her adjustment has been okay.

[45:22] Jessica Rush: Yeah. We had a scare with COVID um with Eric's show, and Eric had to isolate for 24 hours and mask, and she was really bothered by that. And when she got to school, like an hour after she got to school, the nurse called and said, Elliot's here with a stomachache. And I was like, it's emotional. This is what's, you know, and I just, I know that, but overall, she's doing really well. They're, they're resilient, you know. And now she's pumped to get her shot. She wants to get it under the blue whale at the history museum. She's like, let's wait in line, mom. I can't wait, you know. So um, she just wants to take off a mask and play with her friends, you know. Yeah. So, but she's good. Oh real remarkably so, I think.

[46:02] Brooke Jacob: Can I ask you something more exciting?

[46:05] Jessica Rush: Oh, yes, please do.

[46:06] Brooke Jacob: Because we've been talking such heavy.

[46:08] Jessica Rush: Oh my god, you guys. No, it's good. But I love that it was just the question, how are you? Like, there's a lot.

[46:13] Brooke Jacob: No, there's so much. Wait, what answer do you want them? Great, or like what's how you are?

[46:16] Jessica Rush: Well, and Kara and I talk to the people and we contribute some, but it's about our guests. So I actually, I think thank you for asking and saying, let's do this because, you know, it's nice to talk and sort of maybe give more insight into who we are individually. You know, I, as an audience member, I'm, I know that your audience wants to know this stuff because we know bits, you know, and pieces, and um, but can you tell me a little bit about the very exciting stuff that's going on with Mama's Talking Loud?

[46:48] Brooke Jacob: Yes, yes. Um, we launched our merchandise website. Y'all, we are so excited. Kara and I have been talking for months and months and months about merchandise, and it's just in time for the holidays. Jump on it. Um, but we so go to our Instagram, check it out. Um, there is a link there for our link tree. I'm gonna um hopefully by the time you hear this, I have figured out how to connect a shop to Instagram. Y'all, I'm telling you, I'm learning all the things. Um, but we do have a shop, and I built the website and designed the stuff. You know, it's our tag team. Kara and I tag team when one of us is drowning, the other one picks up the slack and so on and so forth. So I, I the, the merchandise is a large part um just my brain child, um, the website and everything, and um, and we're so excited for it.

We took pictures in Times Square the other day. Kara came in and um my friend Judith took pictures for us. But we've got, we've got all the things you need for your mom life. We've got a large um insulated tumbler for coffee or water if you want. We've got some insulated water. We've got insulated wine mugs, we've got a fanny pack for hands free, because hello, you know, hands free is the way to go. Um there is a notepad that I designed actually. I created it on Canva, the graphics, how it's all set up, what it is, and it's a daily notepad. Hashtag mama's make it happen. It's to keep your priorities in check, what you got to do on your to-do list, any notes you need to take. We've got that. We have keychains, we have stickers.

What else? Stickers, keychains, notepads, fanny pack, mug, mug, and a cell phone case. Oh, yeah, you haven't seen that yet. Yeah, but definitely getting the coffee because I even today I was like, I don't know. Yeah, you could put tea in it, you put whatever, but it's big, it's 22 ounces. Y'all, it's and all these things are made in the USA, so you don't have to worry about them sitting on a cargo ship in in the Long Beach uh port of LA or Long Beach. Um, and so you can get them. But uh yeah, go to our Instagram or search us on Shopify, that's where our shop is, and um yeah, we're excited and buy your things and spread the word and then tag us for sure if you buy anything, because then we'll share you in our stories.

And um, and that's the way it works. It's like, you know, I hear it's so interesting because I listen to all these other podcasts too that are like the daily and things that are you know sponsored by large publications and th even they still are like, please tell your friends about our podcast because that's how it works. And I was like, oh my gosh. 'Cause this comes down to you don't want to ask for help. You don't uh exactly I don't want to ask for help. We're guys, friends, y'all. I don't want to, we're not saying guys anymore. Y'all we let's support because it's so good. It's such a good podcast. I'm definitely getting um, well, thank you. Coffee. But it is, you have to share. And I think a lot of people actually don't know that.

You know, it's funny, I was thinking about it with other stuff. People don't know sometimes that you need help. And so I often think, how come no one's offering to help me? It's like, well, because you didn't tell they don't know.

[50:01] Jessica Rush: Right. That's true. They don't know unless you tell them.

[50:03] Brooke Jacob: That's true. That's true. So yeah. I think what you're doing is amazing. I think, and I know Kara's not here, so we'll maybe, maybe we'll do another one and we can find out what's going on.

[50:11] Jessica Rush: I think we should.

[50:12] Brooke Jacob: Kara.

[50:13] Jessica Rush: I think we should talk to Kara.

[50:14] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[50:15] Jessica Rush: For sure. 'Cause her experience has been different than mine.

[50:18] Brooke Jacob: Yeah.

[50:18] Jessica Rush: You know, it's like my husband and I are both back to work in a show and Elliot's at school and we live close by. And, you know, Kara's experience is not the same. You know, Graham just started going back to work at Book of Mormon, but their commute. They live out in Jersey, and so I know like it adds on hours to the time that he's gone, and she has to hold down the fort with two kiddos on her own, you know, and Elon's got her therapies and Finn has all his extracurricular, you know, it's like her life coming back into this space while a lot of it didn't change from how it was in the pandemic, the difference was Graham was there and Graham had never been there before, and now they're back to Graham not being there as much.

Um and so what that is for her and what that feels like. So um but yeah, I can't believe it's been two years since we launched this podcast. Two years and we're almost to a hundred thousand episodes y'all we are almost there. We're at ninety-eight thousand what do you mean we launched in October of twenty nineteen thousand episodes. That's how many downloads have happened. Not episodes. Downloads I missed a few. Okay, I never wanted to ask those questions because I again I like to know how much people sleep. I want to know your schedule and I do want to know how does that work.

[51:39] Brooke Jacob: Well the thing is is the really like there are some pot well if you do a true crime podcast you hit a hundred thousand episod or a hundred thousand downloads in a matter of like weeks because I know that for a fact. But um for us, you know, we're the little engine that could we're not, you know, we're not famous people. We're some moms trying to spread the word and you know for a long time it was a very niche um podcast I think with regard to speaking specifically about Broadway and theater and and now we're trying to branch out more and I and I, you know, I it makes me so happy whenever I hear from people who are not mothers who are like, oh my gosh I, I thought it would just be stuff I didn't know either it was all about moms or it was all about Broadway and I'm a mother not in the arts and I don't know about Broadway.

But these are human interest stories. Like these are just human stories and they're so interesting and so I'm hoping that more people can, you know, as we have the merch and as we spread the word, that's how podcasts grow is word of mouth. And it's by, you know, if you have an episode you really liked and you send it to a friend or a couple friends, and you say, hey, this was so good. I really liked it. Listen to it, you know, because you, you search mamas on iTunes, and my God, it's like, you know, mom podcasts, there's thousands, literally thousands, you know, and um, and we're not famous people, so we're just trying to amplify the voices. I think the conversation around, you know, with regard to child care and support for mothers and parents in our country is an ongoing issue, obviously, and you know, it's been tragically cut from any kind of conversations now that where we had thought there was gonna be some movement, and um, and it's not okay.

[53:19] Jessica Rush: Moms are not okay. Working moms, stay-at-home moms, stay-at-home moms are working moms. Like everyone, you never hear someone say working dad. No. And I'm gonna mic drop that. You never hear someone say working dad. And even though we do say working artist mother and working mother artists, and we specify working mothers, that's something you change the language of too, right? It's like when I read that the other day, they said no one ever says working dad. It's just a given. Well no, and you see a dad picking up kids and it's like, oh, look us, yeah, and you know, it's interesting. Eric said, like he's like, I always get so offended when people say things like that to me, because they say that to him.

And he's there often, you know, like we're both home during the day, so we do a lot of stuff. And he was like, whenever I pick her up or we're hanging out, people are like, Oh, it's so good that you're here or whatever. And he's like, I it's my kid. Like, of course I'm here. Like what? You know, he's like, I get offended. Like, as a dad, I don't want to do this, you know, it's shocking to you. So um, we gotta we gotta shift this narrative, y'all. It's been going on way too long. And so spread the word, talk to your friends, petition for, you know, support leaders and people who are running for office who have the thought of the parents in mind, because the villages are gone, you know. Life is not the way it used to be. We don't all live in the same place. We don't live surrounded by our people necessarily, and um, and that is directly affecting our quality of life and our mental health, and we can we gotta fix it.

[54:52] Brooke Jacob: And are you finding time? I know we need to wrap, but I'm just I'm just looking at you as your friend, and I'm like, you know, I'm like, I need you to find time. Are you finding time for yourself?

[55:01] Jessica Rush: What do you do? Do you know what I do? One thing I do is I really don't come home between shows, first off. I did the other day, and I was like, I said to Eric, this is why I don't, because I end up cooking still. You know, it's like my mother was here to help with Elliot, but still and Eric was here. There were three adults here, and I still was the one that was cooking and getting things ready, and literally was running myself ragged until I literally was like, I'm gonna be late to the theater, I have to go. And I'm like running to get back to half hour. And you know, that's why I don't come home because when I come home, even though I get to see her and get to see Elliot and hang out, it's not relaxing.

And so it's just more time that I'm not taking care of me. So I usually stay at the theater and I watch something, I zone out and watch something, or I work on I work on stuff, you know, for the podcast or for Ivy and Clark. But it's just it's me there and it's quiet, and I can listen to music or whatever, or I can take a nap if I want. Usually that does not serve me well though. Usually I'm more tired when I wake up. Um, but also I have made a commitment to going to Pilates. Actually, actually. It's on the way to her school, it's only eight blocks away, and I have been going two to three times a week, and if that's all I can do, it just makes me feel better. You know, I'd like to go for walks. I would like to do more, but once I get an assistant.

[56:18] Brooke Jacob: I was gonna say, hopefully, once you're your assistant, and you know what? You know, I hope you really will though, ask. And I keep saying it for myself, I need to ask more. I mean, and I feel the weird guilt. Like today, KJ's doing pickup, and I'm feeling like guilty, which is so silly, because he's so thrilled, he's like, I haven't been with them, I want to be with them.

[56:33] Jessica Rush: Yeah, like yeah. We feel guilty, and it's right, that's a good thing. Why I feel guilty? Why is your time any less important? Why is you getting to do stuff any less important than him? You know, and that doesn't come from the partners, that's something from somewhere.

[56:45] Brooke Jacob: Oh, yeah, it's just our thing. It's like, you know, I feel, you know, if Eric has something going on and I'm like, I'm so sorry, you know, I'm can you do this? I know you've got such and such. And he's like, Of course, honey, yeah, you know. Now they won't necessarily think to do it on their own, like trust, trust. They are men and they tend to only be able to focus on one thing.

[57:05] Jessica Rush: Right.

[57:06] Brooke Jacob: So, like, unless you ask them, yeah, they probably won't. And if you have a hard time asking, like me, you know, then you end up doing all the things. And then you're like, why am I the person going to the grocery store and picking her up from school and doing the laundry, you know, like the laundry's not getting done because I'm not doing it.

[57:21] Jessica Rush: Yeah. However, like this morning I said to E, hey, I've got a packed day and laundry needs to get done. And he's doing the laundry. I made KJ do the laundry too. And I felt but I did feel weirdly guilty, which is so silly. It's like I do it every week. Why am I feeling it?

[57:33] Brooke Jacob: Well, I think if they came up with it on their own, then I wouldn't feel so guilty. But it's because I have to ask, and I've said that to him. You know, that's something I've said. Anyone have any insight into this?

[57:42] Jessica Rush: No, but that's something I've said. Like, when I have to ask you to do something to help, that feels like I'm putting the onus on you, and I'm and I'm needing to and I'm making you do something as opposed to he's like, but I don't mind. I was like, right, but if you were to come to me and say, Let me do this, that's why I said this last year. When he came to me last year and said, Let me do homeschooling. That I cried and it was everything. Just that just the way it happened for him to come to me and say, I see you're struggling, let me take this on, instead of me saying, I'm struggling, can you take this on?

[58:18] Brooke Jacob: Well, I'm really glad that you did say that you're struggling and asking for help because I think that's huge. I mean, there wasn't gonna be an assistant that was just gonna enter.

[58:28] Jessica Rush: Looks looks like you're having a hard time.

[58:30] Brooke Jacob: I know, I know, I know, I know.

[58:31] Jessica Rush: No. But that's you know, I also think you would never if you had a friend that was like, Oh, I need help, you'd be like, Yes, get it. You are such an advocate. And I hear you week after week when people are like, I asked for this, I asked for this in their contract or whatever, and you're like, Yes, yes. And I I don't know that you would ask for it. So I'm so glad that you are, and I hope that as a view as a listener, I'm so happy to um hear you advocate for yourself for all these other mothers. And it makes us feel less alone because we're all feeling like we're not balancing it. And so just in general, this podcast, it it is fun to see people that you are like, oh, they have comp of course they have it together, and I love it. It's not that I want to see people not having it together to be like, oh, right, we're all great and we're all a mess.

[59:18] Jessica Rush: Yeah, because we're all human.

[59:20] Brooke Jacob: Yeah. No one has it all together. Even the people with millions of dollars who have people that work for them. Yeah, they still don't have it all together. I guarantee it.

[59:29] Jessica Rush: So now I'm looking at my notes. I don't know, you know, we've taken some turns. Let me know. Is there something that I left out that you're doing?

[59:35] Brooke Jacob: No, but is there's is there like one final thing that you would want to know, or are we are we good to go? Or do you need to come back?

[59:43] Jessica Rush: I have so many questions.

[59:45] Brooke Jacob: You do. I'm looking over her.

[59:48] Jessica Rush: Hi, Jessica.

[59:50] Brooke Jacob: Oh my god, these are really good questions, Brooke.

[59:53] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[59:53] Brooke Jacob: Okay, what did we leave off?

[59:55] Jessica Rush: Well, I wonder Oh yeah, how did you and Eric meet?

[59:58] Brooke Jacob: I had the.

[59:58] Jessica Rush: Oh, how did we meet?

[59:59] Brooke Jacob: Well, I also do.

[1:00:00] Jessica Rush: Yeah, I knew this.

[1:00:02] Brooke Jacob: Um surprised you okay.

[1:00:06] Jessica Rush: Oh, we're the worst well, we covered some of these.

[1:00:08] Brooke Jacob: Almost did you always know?

[1:00:11] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[1:00:12] Brooke Jacob: What began your passion for advocating for parents?

[1:00:16] Jessica Rush: Well.

[1:00:17] Brooke Jacob: Oh, yeah, I like this one.

[1:00:18] Jessica Rush: Do we love this?

[1:00:20] Brooke Jacob: Or your future self.

[1:00:20] Jessica Rush: I love one of these.

[1:00:21] Brooke Jacob: Okay, I said.

[1:00:23] Jessica Rush: I know, but I was I was on a hole.

[1:00:23] Brooke Jacob: I didn't know.

[1:00:24] Jessica Rush: No, I love all those questions.

[1:00:24] Brooke Jacob: If you could talk to yourself, but I could literally but wait, Brooke, all these questions, these amount of questions, we would be here for like five hours because I don't know how to give a succinct answer. So anyway, ask me this.

[1:00:36] Brooke Jacob: Wait, how would um oh, and then we need to know I'll I'll do little James Lipton.

[1:00:40] Jessica Rush: Okay, so I said if you could talk to yourself 20 years ago, what would you tell yourself just like in a sentence?

[1:00:53] Brooke Jacob: Oh, you can be tear up.

[1:00:58] Jessica Rush: It may not look exactly like you thought, but it will still be wonderful. You may not be where you were expecting to be, but it but you're gonna have a hell of a life. And I and I'm pretty far along where I hoped I would be. Like that's the thing, you know, but we all have these goals and these dreams and aspirations. And just career-wise for myself. That's what I think about. I love who I am as a person now. Like I I I would not go back to my 20s for anything. I love it. And I feel more like in myself and in my skin and than I ever did before as I've become a mother and then found myself again because I definitely lost myself for a while after I had her. Um but career-wise, while I am so appreciative, please don't anyone come at me and say, like, but look at what you have.

Yes, I am so appreciative and I am so grateful, and I get it. But there are goals that I had set for myself that I did not achieve higher than what this is, even um, and pressure that was put on me. So making peace with that.

[1:02:11] Brooke Jacob: Okay.

[1:02:12] Jessica Rush: And so it's not that, but it's good.

[1:02:14] Brooke Jacob: I think my last question.

[1:02:15] Jessica Rush: Oh god.

[1:02:16] Brooke Jacob: Oh god.

[1:02:18] Jessica Rush: What do you think Jessica 20 years from now would say to you now?

[1:02:25] Brooke Jacob: Girl, you should have been loving your body more.

[1:02:29] Jessica Rush: You're beautiful.

[1:02:31] Brooke Jacob: Still, right?

[1:02:32] Jessica Rush: At the age of 40, just like still struggling. But that's what she would say. She would look back and she would be like, Jess, are you kidding? What I wouldn't give to be, you know, to be that.

[1:02:45] Brooke Jacob: And have that skin.

[1:02:46] Jessica Rush: Have you noticed your skin changing yet? Because I have that just that's a sidebar, you guys.

[1:02:51] Brooke Jacob: But no, yes.

[1:02:53] Jessica Rush: No, but um, we're 60, you know, Jessica 20 years from now.

[1:03:27] Brooke Jacob: You got me crying.

[1:03:27] Jessica Rush: I mean, that's not hard to do.

[1:03:27] Brooke Jacob: I'm very as my cast told me the other day, I'm very weepy. When Adrian left, I was a mess during our scene. And they were like, You really, Jess? I was like, oh shut up. They're like, you're so weepy.

[1:03:27] Jessica Rush: Um, but also like good job. You're killing it.

[1:03:27] Brooke Jacob: You killed it.

[1:03:27] Jessica Rush: You know.

[1:03:27] Brooke Jacob: I don't know. I think about that.

[1:03:27] Jessica Rush: It's crazy.

[1:03:26] Brooke Jacob: You got me crying.

[1:03:29] Jessica Rush: I don't even know what to say about it. Thinking about getting older.

[1:03:34] Brooke Jacob: And wiser.

[1:03:35] Jessica Rush: But getting older is a lot.

[1:03:38] Brooke Jacob: May we all be lucky enough to get older, right?

[1:03:42] Jessica Rush: Don't take it for granted.

[1:03:44] Brooke Jacob: I'm trying not to do that.

[1:03:49] Jessica Rush: That's all she wrote. And everybody go to Mama's Talking Loud.

[1:03:54] Brooke Jacob: Here we are with Jessica Rush.

[1:03:56] Jessica Rush: My God, crying. Mama's talking loud.com.

[1:03:59] Brooke Jacob: Oh my god, Brooke, why are we in therapy?

[1:04:02] Jessica Rush: Golly.

[1:04:03] Brooke Jacob: Y'all.

[1:04:04] Jessica Rush: So talk space. If you're looking for a show to sponsor, here we are.

[1:04:09] Brooke Jacob: I know.

[1:04:09] Jessica Rush: No, we have Better Help has added to the case.

[1:04:11] Brooke Jacob: Oh, I meant Better Help.

[1:04:12] Jessica Rush: Yeah, Better Help. That's the one I knew that. Sorry.

[1:04:14] Brooke Jacob: Better help.

[1:04:14] Jessica Rush: Better help you guys, better help.

[1:04:16] Brooke Jacob: We'll delete that.

[1:04:17] Jessica Rush: Oh my God. Better help.

[1:04:19] Brooke Jacob: All right.

[1:04:19] Jessica Rush: Well, thanks. If you made it this far, because boy, I sure covered lots of things today at therapy. If you made it this far, thank you.

[1:04:27] Brooke Jacob: Thanks for listening.

[1:04:28] Jessica Rush: Thanks for tuning in. Brooke, thank you for coming and doing this.

[1:04:32] Brooke Jacob: Thank you for having me. This is so fun.

[1:04:34] Jessica Rush: It made her cry.

[1:04:36] Brooke Jacob: It made her laugh.

[1:04:36] Jessica Rush: That's so many times.

[1:04:38] Brooke Jacob: So many times.

[1:04:38] Jessica Rush: Yes, laugh and cry. It's all good things.

[1:04:42] Brooke Jacob: Oh my gosh.

[1:04:43] Jessica Rush: Oh my god. That was fun. We gotta get Karen out to do it.

[1:04:47] Brooke Jacob: And you know what's fun is to be here sitting with you doing it. That's what's been missing. You know, Kara and I, we still aren't in the studio.

[1:04:53] Jessica Rush: I know you were like that student on Zoom.

[1:04:54] Brooke Jacob: I was like, oh, I'm getting in this little closet.

[1:04:58] Jessica Rush: Yeah. No, it's like I missed that part. We used to do it, you know, there used to be a studio and we would go to it. And now that things can be done on Zoom, everyone just keeps wanting to do things on Zoom.

[1:05:07] Brooke Jacob: And yeah, it's convenient, but it's nice to sit and talk to a person.

[1:05:12] Jessica Rush: Yeah.

[1:05:12] Brooke Jacob: In person.

[1:05:13] Jessica Rush: So anyway. Thank you.

[1:05:15] Brooke Jacob: Well, thank you for sharing. And I um I know that your audience loves hearing from you guys. That's why we're listening to hear all the other people, but because we do love um, you know, hearing you and Kara.

[1:05:26] Jessica Rush: So next we'll listen to Kara and I'll be drinking out of my coffee tumbler soon.

[1:05:32] Brooke Jacob: I'm so excited. I hope y'all love them all.

[1:05:35] Jessica Rush: All right, everybody. Be well, Brooke.

[1:05:37] Brooke Jacob: Thank you.

[1:05:38] Jessica Rush: Thank you.

[1:05:39] Brooke Jacob: See you at Scamper.

[1:05:41] Jessica Rush: Follow Scamper, you guys.

[1:05:43] Brooke Jacob: Instagram.

[1:05:44] Jessica Rush: Follow Scamper Theater.com.

[1:05:46] Brooke Jacob: Spelled the British way.

[1:05:47] Jessica Rush: Yeah, to Yeah, the only real way, you guys.

[1:05:50] Brooke Jacob: R E.

[1:05:50] Jessica Rush: Come on. Let's be honest.

[1:05:53] Brooke Jacob: Bye.

[1:06:04] Jessica Rush: Thanks so much for listening to this episode of Mama's Talking Loud. Special shout outs to Justin Squiggs Robertson for our fabulous new graphic. Kristen Lopez, Bobby Lopez, and Justin Wardweber for our awesome theme song. And of course, the Broadway Podcast Network for bringing us to you.