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[0:01] Charlie Murphy: Hello, hello, and welcome to Mapping The College Audition. I'm your host, Charlie Murphy, Director of MTCA. That's Musical Theatre College Auditions. Check us out at mtca.com. And today we've got the wonderful Amy Breslow, one of our MTCA College Advisors and a two-time MTCA Alumni Parent on the podcast. And this is kind of a unique double episode. It's another one of our alumni parent perspectives, which we've had a number of those on the pod. And we're going to spend the first half of the interview just talking about Amy's experience as a parent or say experiences as a parent. And then the second half, giving some advice and perspective from her experience as one of our rock star college advisors.

Just worth noting, and I can't imagine many of our listeners will be too confused by this. But since so much of this podcast, this particular episode is aimed almost directly at my parents who don't know anything about this process. And we'll talk a lot about that in the second half, parents who feel really clueless in the process. I'm also going to give a little heads up to another area my parents might have needed help with, which is that Amy's first child uses they, them pronouns. So you'll hear us refer to Jack as they, and if people are unused to the singular they in an audio form, it can be a bit difficult as sometimes referring to both of Amy's children, etc. So if anyone would have been confused, be confused no more.

I imagine most of you would have just intuited that, but we do have a broad enough listener base at this point that hopefully that's helpful to someone out there. And you'll notice at one point I do slip up and I use a he pronoun, which I told Kelly to leave it in, trying to model a bit of what I was taught, at least, which would make a mistake. You just keep on going and don't make a big deal out of it. Of course, here I am making a big deal out of it by including it in the intro, but what are you going to do? But yes, I do think this is a really good episode for parents, especially, and or really just anyone who's interested in this process from kind of a large scale overview. We do do a couple specific tips and tricks that we weave in there at the end, but mostly we try to focus on the overall process of what you're preparing for, especially organizationally with this process.

So not a bad first episode for those who are just starting out with the pod. For all of you out there, happy Easter, happy Passover to those who celebrate. We've been loving a few egg hunts in the Murphy household, as well as loving our spring break from school, which Solvay was absolutely devastated to discover that we weren't traveling for spring break. Like, she got out of her school the last day before break and she literally asked me where we were vacationing the next week, which we don't talk about any kind of vacation, but it was apparently cued by her teacher, like, where are you going for spring break? And I was like, how spoiled is my child? She's three years old. Like, I knew eventually that kind of thing would happen, but I thought I had like 10 more years before I started getting complaints that we're not traveling for her spring break.

And she couldn't understand the concept that there was a spring break, but we weren't traveling. Like, she was like, that's what spring break is. I was told all my friends are traveling. What will I tell my teacher when I get back? She's like, where will I tell her that I went? Which, you know, I think does kind of parlay well into this episode where we talk a lot about that feeling that parents can often have and students really can have this too, that like everyone else is more prepared. Everyone else is more resourced. Everyone knows more. They have more help. They know what they're doing in this process. And I'm the only one who's clueless when, of course, most people feel that way. Most people feel like everyone else is in that position.

But I will also say while we're on the spring break of it all, the pod is taking a little spring break. We're not taking an episode off. Don't worry, you won't miss a week of podcast episodes, but we are going to do a little special spring break solo pod next week. So don't worry. I know you just can't stand a week without us, though. A break is coming up. A break is coming up a couple weeks from now by the time we hit the summer. But looking at our schedules now, I was kind of looking at, you know, with the interviews that we have upcoming, what we have scheduled, I was looking for an opportunity to kind of squeeze on a solo pod. And my plan for that episode is to do a few bonus takeaways that couldn't make their way into previous episodes, either because I ran out of space or maybe they just didn't seem episode appropriate.

So as always, if you have any specific topics you know you want me to cover on that episode, I'm happy to look at those as well. The email there is mailbag at mappingthecollegeaudition.com. That's mailbag at mappingthecollegeaudition.com. All right, let's get into this episode with the great Amy Breslow.

[4:32] Charlie Murphy: Well, we are so excited to have Amy Breslow on the pod. Amy has a BA in psychology from the University of Pittsburgh, where my mom teaches, and an MSW in social work from the University of Pennsylvania, where my maternal grandfather used to teach. These are things that we learn about you as we research you for a bio, Amy. Amy is also an associate member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association, that's IECA, and one of our amazing rock star MTCA college advisors. And most importantly for today, a two-time alumni mother of this very process. Her oldest child, Jack, was MTCA class of 2017, recently graduated from Roosevelt, and her youngest child, Grace, is currently a BFAMT at Ohio University. Okay, Amy, welcome on the pod. How are you feeling today?

[5:19] Amy Breslow: I'm feeling great, Charlie. Thanks for having me. This is going to be a lot of fun. This feels the closest thing to like when I interviewed Elizabeth. It's like, it's very fun when we get to interview some of them. Like, I talk to you all the time in these contexts, but this time for a podcast. This time in a slightly different context than our webinars or our meetings or any of the things we've done. But okay, so we're going to really talk about multiple reasons of you being on the pod. So not only the College Advising, but also really another one of our alumni parent episodes. And, you know, someone who's now been your first person who's been through the process twice as a mom. So I'm really excited to do that.

Let's start with the first half of the podcast. Let's really focus on you as a mom. And, you know, these are little tidbits and stories that I've heard some of from the College Advising, but we're going to get to go a little deeper on kind of your personal story. Do you remember your first experience with Jack as you were encountering this artistic process? And I imagine kind of really learning fully the rigors of what the BFA process was. What was your experience as you first, like, encountered the musical theater college audition process?

[6:17] Amy Breslow: Sure. Yeah. I remember there was an upperclassman at Jack's high school that was using MTCA. And I believe Jack was a freshman and, you know, we got the information from them and waited a little bit until Jack's sophomore year to really start to explore MTCA. I actually wish that we would have started sooner. My God, Amy, I love it. In hindsight. But, you know, I think that it was one of the best things that we did in terms of training for Jack.

[6:54] Charlie Murphy: Do you remember what specifically drew you to MTCA? So as you were looking at the process, imagine if you looked at other companies or other avenues of how you were going to work artistically and organizationally. What worked for you about why you chose MTCA?

[7:08] Amy Breslow: So I did do some research online about MTCA as well as other companies and talking with other families that used MTCA, the family that referred us. And then there was also another family that we knew that used MTCA, both of them really successfully. So we decided, let's go ahead, let's have our initial consultation and let's see how it goes. And I just think, you know, we really immediately connected with Leo. We actually had our initial consultation in person in New York City at Leo's apartment. And then we had our vocal tech consultation with Ellen in her apartment. And it was just, you know, immersing yourself in New York City and really connecting that way. And then Jack was assigned a team of coaches and we just kind of went from there. I really didn't end up interviewing any other companies because at the time, you know, most of the information that I found was about MTCA.

[8:20] Charlie Murphy: I love you bringing me back to the days of apartment initial consults, mostly apartment coaching. Now, this, of course, happens in a studio post-COVID, but that was a different era. Can we just talk a little bit about like your parental involvement, especially in this process when you did it with Jack? We'll talk about with Grace as well, but you certainly, I think, were a pretty involved parent in general, still are, right? And we've talked on the pod before about all the different versions of how parents, they can help a lot. They can not help as much. They can help in certain areas. They can divide and conquer among the parents and in all the different ways that can work. But how did you see your role as a parent in terms of how you were involved with Jack?

[8:56] Amy Breslow: I, you know, I think my role with Jack was a little bit more hands-on. Both of my kids are different as anybody else's kids, you know, they each need different kinds of supports. So I was definitely more hands-on with Jack in terms of scheduling things and just making sure that things were getting done. Jack really took the reins, as did Grace, as far as their artistic growth and meeting with their coaches and picking out songs and monologues and practicing and all of that. You know, I was really behind the scenes researching, making sure Jack got into some private dance lessons at home, just really listening to Jack's friends who went before them in this process, plus the advice from MTCA, you know, what is really going to help Jack be competitive in the process.

And I will have to say that dance was probably, you know, out of singing, dancing and acting, dance was probably the least developed for Jack. And so I think that's something that was really helpful. And I was able to connect Jack with the MTCA dancing and, you know, we had a private dance coach at home for Jack. So I was involved in all those logistic types of things.

[10:23] Charlie Murphy: Were you more of like an executive assistant where you're like, I'm helping with scheduling as Jack tells me to, or are you more of like, I'm the COO of the company of like, I'm going to keep this mostly running from the administrative end. And Jack is really going to focus on the artistic side of things.

[10:34] Amy Breslow: Yeah, I was definitely the COO, I would say. I was, you know, less the assistant, more the COO in the process. Again, when Jack applied for summer programs, we did research them together. Me more so from a date perspective, cost perspective, Jack more so looking at it with that artistic lens. And that's how we started to go through this process, you know, starting with the summer programs, and then eventually developing the college list from there.

[11:12] Charlie Murphy: Okay, so as like that COO kind of figure, how did you stay organized through this process? Because of course, you know, this is before you would have had an Amy Breslow advising you, we did have MTCA college advising back then, but this is before you came on and kicked us into high gear, without a doubt. Were you as organized and structured then as you are now for our families? Like, how did you do it all?

[11:29] Amy Breslow: Back then, it was absolutely a lot of spreadsheets, a lot of folders, a lot of things in multiple places, lots of file folders with, you know, brochures from all the different schools and things like that. And I do feel now much more organized, less paper than before. But prior to that, it really was, you know, again, the spreadsheets, the notebooks, keeping track of things, and I would keep track of all of the academic application kinds of things. And Jack was, you know, in charge of writing essays, as well as working on all their artistic pieces and kind of letting me know when things were ready. And we would review everything together to make sure that everything was ready for submission.

[12:30] Charlie Murphy: And are you giving like deadlines and goal dates back then? Are you saying like, okay, these are the essays you need, let's have it done by this, we'll read it this day? Like, are you giving that much level of support?

[12:37] Amy Breslow: Yeah, I mean, we would, we would try to talk about, you know, weekly, what to do, because, you know, remembering back when Jack did the process, so that was 2016, 2017. Jack only had six or seven schools on their list that had pre screens, pre screens had not really, really taken off, like they have in the last five, six years. So we did not have that lengthy pre screen list. So in some ways, there was a little less information, a little less that had to get organized.

[13:09] Charlie Murphy: Yeah. But in some ways, also, maybe a little more spread out of like, all right, well, then some of these applications, you can fill out a little late, like, I feel like now the process has moved because of the pre screens earlier and earlier in terms of when everyone's prepping and trying to get everything done, especially as their schools expand. I'd love to hear about like, how did you guys have discussions as a family? Like, you know, we got to have the amazing Brett Breslow, your husband, an MTCA rock star himself, he crashed our last parent panel webinar, which was awesome. But as Jack was telling you guys, in general, both of you, what they wanted in a college experience, you know, what kind of feedback or thoughts are you and Brett throwing into the mix with like, let's talk about specifically with how the school list net is cast. So you said six or seven pre-screen schools, as you're kind of creating that,

[13:49] Amy Breslow: So, you know, we're creating and work on that school list. How is Jack bringing stuff to the table? And then how are you and Brett bringing your own ideas about what you might expect in a college experience?

[13:59] Well, we definitely sat down and had, you know, conversations about location of school, cost of school, as well as that we knew Jack really wanted a BFA in musical theater, conservatory style training. They did not want to have really any academic courses if they could help it. And they were what I called MT or bust. At that time, they didn't want to get redirected to acting or anything like that, you know, so they made their, you know, goals pretty clear. And we embrace that.

[14:40] Was there any difficulty with that? I mean, just, I know a BA in psychology and an MSW in social work. And then I know Brett's probably got a couple of degrees with the work that he does. Like, so in terms of just being more academic people, was that the feeling of like BFA, conservatory, MT, or bust?

[14:55] Oh, my. Like, was there any resistance to that with the two of you?

[14:58] No, you know what, Jack has been singing since they were born. And it was the only time they ever sat still as a kid was when I took them, they were three and a half to see Beauty and the Beast at the Academy of Music in Philadelphia. So part of it was really being able to accept who Jack is, you know, as much of course as I would have loved to them have more academic courses, get a minor in something that was not Jack. And so, you know, as a parent, I had to take a step back and say to myself, I have to be true to who my kid is.

[15:40] As much as I might not, you know, in part of my head agreed fully with it. I did need to be able to just take that step back and say, okay, I have to meet them where they are. I have to listen to what they're telling me. And I cannot force things onto them that are, you know, it's like, what do they say, like trying to put a square peg into a round hole kind of thing.

[16:12] I think it's great parenting advice at all ages to sort of not try to make your kid become something that they're not. What about with Grace? So in the now the second time around now, not only have the experience of as an online mom, you have the experience of being a college advisor, having done this process now. How was it different with Grace? And obviously Grace is going to have different goals and experiences for what she wants in a college, right? How was it different for you navigating it the second time?

[16:35] Yeah, Grace is more of an academic kid. She cast a wide net. He was not opposed to minoring in something. She was open to both acting and musical theater and directing. So we really had a lot of different options on her list. And again, we had that same sit down with her to talk about what was she looking for? What did her dad and I see for her and how can we sort of mold that into, you know, something that everybody could live with without, again, trying to put that square peg into the round hole.

[17:18] It's so, it's so complicated, especially when you're getting those multiple opinions in it's also like if you could pick exactly the college that you're going to go to, it would almost make sense where you go, well, that makes mom happy. That makes dad happy. That makes daughter happy. It all kind of works. And in this one school, but of course, when you're talking about the net that you're going to be casting, you don't know which schools are going to get into or not. You don't know which schools are going to be artistic fit. So even just to be like, okay, as long as it has these four elements, everybody's happy. I'm like, yeah, we don't know if we're going to get into those schools with those four elements yet.

[17:46] That's definitely. I think for Grace, there were, she had different boxes to check than Jack had to check. And you know, some of the things for Grace with the schools on her list were also medical considerations. She needed to be close to where she could get medical treatment for her autoimmune disease. So those were all things, you know, that we talked about, um, ahead of time that say schools that were really rural or in the middle of nowhere, um, or really, really far away from home might not be the best choices.

[18:24] Um, and you know, she, she owned a lot of the process, you know, by that point in time, we did have our lovely college planning software. So you know, she was able to log in and take a look at a lot more things and do a lot more than I was able to do with Jack in the past.

[18:46] And had she as mosed from both Jack's process and from hearing mom doing this stuff from the other room, had she like gotten a lot of wisdom from, you know, Elizabeth feels like she could basically teach this stuff now from listening to the other room. Did that happen to Grace at all where she was like, Oh, I know mom, you don't have to tell me. I've heard you tell students that.

[19:01] Well, she knew more and then there was four years between them. So she was able to see students older than her that had been younger than Jack go through the process. So she definitely had much more exposure to it.

[19:15] Um, can we talk a little bit about just like how you as a family navigated the ups and downs of the process, you know, in terms of like the, the highs of the S's and the lows of the nose, you know, I feel like it's one of the reasons, another one of the many reasons you're such an excellent resource to our families, like as amazing as it is to hear Mitch Zoll and his smart perspective on the process, which I think he's really smart when his kid also got into basically every school he auditioned for that's it's just, that's an experience that most people do not have in this process, but they're like, wow, lots of yeses.

[19:43] That's mostly what my experience is, right? It's a blessed way to go through the process, but I know Jack and Grace both really had a nice mix of a lot of yeses, a lot of nos, right? How, what is that like navigating as a parent, as you're, especially maybe with Jack, the first time when you don't have the experience of it, what is that experience of, of you guys navigating that?

[19:57] So for Jack, I mean, it was definitely a roller coaster. Jack passed all but one pre-screen and then trying to remember, I think they apply to about 21 schools auditioned with walk-ins and whatnot for like 24, 25 schools overall between New York and Chicago Unifieds. And then, then the nos, after auditions, that's when the nos started. So there weren't as many pre-screen nos because there just weren't as many pre-screens.

[20:34] So Jack only got a yes from one pre-screen school. And ultimately, yes, he got a pass, but not, he got a, Jack got a pass from a school through the pre-screen and then also got an acceptance. The other pre-screen passes were all nos. So it was very much a roller coaster in the process.

[20:59] And then certainly we also had a lot of wait lists. We had eight or nine yeses. I think we had like eight wait lists and then we had nos. And then between all those wait lists, I think half of them turned into yeses. Half of them were nos. I think, you know, the thing that was very surprising early in the process, it was December of 2016, Jack had auditioned for three schools at that point. One school came back a yes, one school was a redirect to a BA music, and another school was a wait list.

[21:45] So we had essentially a yes, a no, and a wait list. So it was just kind of all over the place with that. I think though, what was really helpful certainly was having that yes early on, because Jack was like, well, I'm going to school for musical theater. I've got that. But we still had, it wasn't necessarily Jack's favorite school, but we still had the rest of the process, you know, to go through.

[22:10] And I was just like, all right, got to buckle up, got to buckle up because we're going to have, you know, all of this, the wait list, such anticipation with that, the nos, you know, really difficult. And some of them were surprising and some were not surprising because, you know, Jack felt like, oh, my audition went really well with this particular school.

[22:35] I think what we've learned over time is that you can't make any prediction in an audition. The audition could be horrible and you could still get a yes from that school. So basically, you know, as a parent, I just strapped myself in for the roller coaster, which I don't like. I don't like roller coasters. Ask Brett, ask anybody, they'll tell you I don't like them. And my glass of wine, and that's how I got through it.

[23:04] You were just tall enough to ride this ride, Amy, just barely.

[23:06] Hey, don't make fun of the short ladies here.

[23:11] That's amazing. And, you know, obviously, like, you know, I'm contrasting in some ways that the people who have, you know, a ton of time, yes, it's obviously 12 out of 24 is great results. We talk about a lot of these schools that they're accepting 5 percent, 10 percent, sometimes many even less percent of the schools and some that are higher than students that are applying. But to get 12 yeses ultimately is just awesome.

[23:32] Do you remember? I know it's been a while and of course, do you remember navigating that wait list as if anyone's listening to this right when it drops or I guess a year from when it drops to will be in that kind of wait list navigations season. Would you remember what? Obviously, half of the wait list turned yeses. So Jack must have done some following up with them and what that process is like as Jack has eight schools, eight that are yeses, sounds like eight that were maybe in some different form and that he's now going to or they're going to go, how do we follow up with this? What was that process like?

[24:02] The process, it was really different for each school. So any of the schools, some of the schools had a form that you filled out. You know, I remember us doing that. I do remember, you know, the schools that Jack was more attached to or felt like more of a connection that they would be a better fit for them. You know, Jack emailed the schools to strike up that conversation, continue the connection.

[24:31] And I think, you know, that that helped for some of the schools to come off wait list. Others, you know, it did not. For whatever the reason, they, you know, Jack was no longer a good fit or they filled their class and then they told everybody on the wait list, no, thank you. You know, we'll never know.

[24:54] Ben, did you do any, I want to talk about visits in general. Did you do any visits to your wait list schools and then which schools, how did you decide even of the eight or maybe of the 16, if you're counting the wait list, how did you decide which schools to visit?

[25:05] We did not. I don't think we visited any wait list schools like this is eight years ago. So I know it's eight years ago and I'm asking about eight school and you already had eight yeses, too. I think some students who maybe visited wait list school might be a little bit more because it's specifically a dream or if they don't have as many yeses going.

[25:20] Right. I don't think we visited any wait list schools. There was after we did during Jack's spring break, a visit to probably four or five schools, we got, Jack got off a wait list at another school and that's what happened to be close to our home at the time. And so then you ended up visiting.

[25:45] Jack, right. Ended up visiting. But, you know, we did have a school in Utah. We had a school in Chicago. We went, you know, and visited all of the schools that certainly were further away. So Jack could get a good feel for, is this a fit?

[26:03] And do you remember with both Jack and Grace, do you remember the process of narrowing down the ultimate final decision? Both of them had multiple good options that they were excited about, which, of course, that's our goal of going. You have multiple options that we can negotiate and figure out and feel like you're making an active choice of I'm saying yes to, you know, what was that process of getting to the ultimate yes on your end?

[26:22] So in the end, so that last wait list school, funny story, Jack didn't want to go to the accepted students day. And I said, listen, you have to go to the accepted students day. You don't have to go that school. You don't have to attend there, but you have to at least check them out and see. So they did.

[26:44] I thought for sure when they got in the car at the end of the day, I was going to hear, Mom, I told you so. This was not the school for me. But I asked them, how was the day? And they were like, I have a really hard decision to make. This school was really amazing. And they totally didn't think that it was going to be. So they did. They met with Leo. They made their scorecard, you know, which is a list of all the things that they want or don't want in a program.

[27:11] And literally at that time, there were two things that caused them to choose Roosevelt versus the other school that was closer to home. Number one was that it was closer to home. Didn't want to be 40 minutes from home. Wanted to explore Chicago, which I can't blame them. I love Chicago. It's amazing.

[27:39] Amy Breslow: Some more acting courses that were interesting to Jack than the other school did. And it really boiled down to those two things. It's so cool. I mean, such great reasons. Obviously, so individual to you in terms of the location, but I love when something about curriculum can be part of the thing that makes you go, yes, this is because, you know, we talk about these BFAs. In some ways, of course, compared to a normal college, the BFAs are similar to each other, but they also are different in terms of what they actually offer. I mean, you know, within this field, as you really start narrowing down, you go, that's a lot more acting class. So that's a very different kind of acting class that you're going to take or it's a different amount of dance or which things that matter to different people, of course, different, but I like when it's more that.

So there's nothing wrong. There's no reason, no, no wrong way to make a decision. If you're like, I just love the people better, or I love, you know, right. And again, we didn't know I wanted them to at least attend and just see what is this all about. And it really did just boil down, you know, for them to those two things for grace. They also had like eight or nine choices. They also had, I don't remember how many wait lists is now grace audition during COVID. Yeah. So she had 33 auditions that she actually did because of all the online opportunities that MTCA had, which was wonderful. And I think it also kept her occupied during that difficult time. And we would have never been able to do as many with all the varied schools.

Because some of them, even if there had been unified, they weren't unified schools, or some other version. It's hard to get to that number. Yeah, absolutely. So she was also stuck between two schools. And for her, it was, it was a West Coast school versus where she currently is Ohio University. And it was down to it was cost. Yeah, definitely. And diversity in the program. Yep. That they, she was very concerned about.

[29:46] Charlie Murphy: It sounds like also maybe grace just loves you more than jack because wanted to be close to home. He chose not to be far away where jack was like, I'm out. Goodbye. So we're seven and a half hours from Ohio University and 11 from Chicago.

[29:59] Amy Breslow: Oh wow, seven and a half from Ohio. Okay. But was that true when you were in Jersey too? Ohio to Jersey? Can't be. Yeah, pretty much. It's about the same. That's one of my least good skills. Anytime I'm doing consult with someone, I'm like, you're like just really close. And they're like, that is Oklahoma and Texas are not that close. I'm like, they are close, but not this part of Texas. I'm like, I never know geography well enough.

[30:17] Charlie Murphy: Yeah, yeah, no, definitely. So, you know, so she's a senior, she's going to graduate in May from Ohio and it, you know, she chose it for all the right reasons for her. Yep. And what did money come into play for you guys? Was it, were there big financial differences between schools, negotiations? How did that work?

[30:35] Amy Breslow: For grace, it was huge, huge, huge financial difference. And not that we were going to necessarily let that be the only reason, but there, as I mentioned, there were other reasons. And basically, you know, she loves Ohio university and she said to us, mom, I can't find anything wrong with the school. I really love everything about it. And we said, okay, well, there it is. That's your choice.

[31:04] Charlie Murphy: I love that for the families who, especially if you're like, I could, we could afford it. We could make it work. Right. That often then sometimes the kids will go like, well, this must be better because it's more expensive or whatever. They almost make the decision to go. I don't want to do the cheaper one. Does that mean it's less good? And in this process, that is definitely not the case that like the more you spend, the better you get. It's just, no, it's like wine where it's like after over 20 bucks, all the wine is just, it's just the makeup, the prices, my personal opinion on wine. Don't come at me. Wine's not, but, but really like, I do think sometimes to tell the student to be like, even if it's, if it's just close and you go, this is a $20,000 difference a year.

Like that's real money for your parents. If you're involved in it, it's real money for you that to be able to be mature and go, I think these are really similar. And it's even better if grace goes, I like this even better. But, but even if you go, this is just really similar and you're talking about those big price differences, hopefully you can get to that point. Well, she had her list too, just like Jack did. And unfortunately this other school just had more negatives at the time for her.

[32:02] Amy Breslow: Well, fortunately, financially, I guess, fortunately for us all. All right. We'll take a little break and on the backend, we're going to get a little bit more into your role as a college advisor. We've been talking mostly as mom. We'll talk a little bit more as college advisor. So back in a flash. Okay.

[32:16] Charlie Murphy: Okay. We are back with the inimitable Amy Breslow. Leave it all in Megan. You can, you can leave my sloppiness in. We're talking about drinking on the break in there. I just had a little slur. Okay. Says Amy. No, we're talking about how we don't drink. We're responsible parents. That's what we do. Yes. Very responsible. Very responsible. Okay. I want to get off of your role as a parent and a little bit more into your role as a college advisor. You know, it's funny, of course, for us, cause we do this multiple times a year. We talk directly to our current family on webinars about sort of specific tips and tricks and where they are in the process at any given time. But of course, given this is going out to all families, some of whom are in very different stages of their process, and also maybe listening to this at any stage of the year, we're going to go a little bit more broad, right?

I mean, some of these students we know are middle schoolers and early high schoolers who really are looking at the process in the future, right? And then some may be midway through the process and some of the stuff seems too late, but I'd love to just, from a broad perspective, this is not a question that we don't always answer for our families because they're already in the thick of it, but I'd love to just talk about like, what is this organizational bucket that we do, right? If we talk about like what you do is solving the problem, what is the problem that a college advisor is needed to solve? What is, what are we organizing as we do this?

[33:49] Amy Breslow: You know, if we know we're going to work artistically, we're going to prepare our material for auditions, we know we're going to do the strategic and the psychological buckets that we talk about in ways that they, you're going to dabble in all four of those and they're going to interweave with each other as well. But just with the organizational bucket, from a broad lens, what is this process? Ooh, what a loaded question. This process is really, it's about, you know, the education of our kids is really what it's about. Even though this is specifically performing arts, we do need to take a look at the academic and the extracurricular and the social piece of this for our kids. So as college advisor, I'm helping families decide, are they pursuing performing arts?

Do they want more academics in this audition-based performing arts program? Are they looking for a minor? What kind of classes should they be taking? Ninth, 10th, 11th grade, and so on. For the students pursuing more rigorous academic programs, we're going to make sure that you have more rigorous academic courses that you're taking throughout high school. Certainly in tandem with the school counselor at the student's individual high school, want to make sure that you're meeting all your graduation requirements. But one of the things that needs the organizing is that the colleges, some of them have different requirements for admission. So you do have some colleges, as an example, that require four years of high school math.

Some students don't like to take that fourth year of high school math, especially if they're not going to go for engineering or business even, because even for business majors, they do like you to take pre-calc or even calculus. So those are some of the things that I look at academically. Is this student overall taking all the courses that they need? Are they going to be academically admissible to the different colleges at a basic level? Because certainly some of the colleges that the kids apply to, like in NYU as an example, NYU does consider academics in the process. NYU, amazing program, not for every single student out there. A student who doesn't want more academics, NYU might not be the best fit.

But I have other students I'm currently working with who just over the past couple of days, we've been talking more about applying to schools like NYU. So I think it is a matter of making sure academically that they're set up for success and that we get to organize all of that from an early point in time.

[36:35] Charlie Murphy: Yes. And I love, we hear that advice a lot. And I think for anyone who's able to be listening to this, luckily as a freshman or sophomore to hear that idea to go, can I start earlier at least with, especially with the organizational sort of planning, goal setting stuff, the earlier really the better. Can we, and it's still, I know such a broad question, but can we, like when you say organizing all of it and knowing that you will help them sort of integrate how they're organizing their artistic process, organizing all the different processes of getting all the stuff into a college, the stuff they need to have to collect for themselves, the stuff they need to get to them, you know, let's imagine someone who was not going to use MTCA.

Or maybe they're using MTCA artistically, but they say, you know, I actually think I can handle this college advising stuff. I think I got this. What does that mean they would be doing? Maybe both, what does it mean they would be doing? And if I'm trying to identify if I'm that kind of person, what kind of skills do I need to be the COO person that you were? Like what kind of skills do I need to manage it all if I don't have a Navy Breslau?

[37:36] Amy Breslow: Yeah, well, you absolutely, you need a lot of organizational skills with your spreadsheets and folders for every single kind of school. You know, if you're not going to use an online type of program, you need to really love research and be very detail oriented, keeping track of all those deadlines, you know, so you're going to have to research the schools for your student. It is overwhelming in a good way because there are so many audition based programs out there in addition to schools that are just BA theater that may not have an audition. It's really key and I think really crucial to listen to your student and know what they want and have schools on their list that are going to be academic fits and artistic fits and also financial.

So as a parent, if you are going to do it yourself, you absolutely need to look at all those areas and make sure that you haven't put all the most academic and artistic competitive schools on your list because it really unfortunately narrows the odds of being accepted to a program.

[39:01] Charlie Murphy: Yep, that's so well said and I do think I'd add in like there's something that you do so well that I think somebody on the team has to have some like project manager kind of skills. Like somebody on the team, it could be the student if it's not the parent, that's why I said like it can work where the parent is more of an executive assistant where you go I'm helping but the student is really in charge. But there is, if it's not outside help like an MTCA college advisor or the student or one of the parents who can take it on, there has to be some level of like synthesis because you're talking about these different processes. You're going the researching the school list which affects the organization but then that also affects our artistic choices.

Like even your ability to go hey it's sophomore year I need to get Jack into some dance class so that when the pre-screens come 18 months from now we're going to be in this place. Like that's like the we all know is like from the business world like whatever that project management leadership kind of skill somebody needs to have that idea which I think it's wonderful if it's a student. Not every 17 year old has that ability even if they're like I do have the ability to manage my artistic process but to go all right but how does that synthesize with the letters of recommendation and how does that synthesize with when my school list research has to happen in order for me to know my essay requirements.

I think sometimes people they understand oh there might be a lot of work in like going to individual websites and pulling data but they don't always understand there's like a strategic element to like how does that how do you interweave the process together. I see that with a lot of our parents in like the green room afterward where they go where do I put this skill I have this amazing skill now that I've done it what do I use I got to do this process again I get it now you know that it's doing it once you're like oh there is like there's a game to it there's a strategy to going how do you put these jigsaw puzzles together.

[41:20] Amy Breslow: And I think as a parent doing it with two of my kids who were very different from each other it's also about being able to approach this individually for each student so that's one of the things that I do make sure I do with every student that I work with as college advisor is that no I don't give the same advice no two students have the same school list they all have their checklists and yes some of the things are the same but there's also differences and that's really important it you can't do a cookie cutter approach to this and certainly not from the artistic perspective it cannot be. But it's why you're the perfect fit to be an MTCA college advisor because I mean that is such a thing of like what we are I was just I was interviewing new candidates today and they were asking like what makes MTCA and MTCA I'm like that.

[41:58] Amy Breslow: It's such a learning process, and some parents want to learn more than others. Again, everybody has their own abilities, you know, how much about this process do I want to know, do I want to do, versus, you know, like I said, I don't want to do any of it, being able to sort of split the process up between mom and dad. I know there were certain things like, you know, Brett did spreadsheets, Brett, you know, took care of the resumes, I traveled and, you know, all those other things. So, you know, being able to really sit down as a family and talk about what's going to work for us as a family, how do we want to tackle this process, because it is a process, no matter if you have assistance or you don't have assistance, you still have to go through the process and you want to be able to go through it as well as you can to come out the other end with your student having offers.

[45:54] Charlie Murphy: It's so true. And, you know, you say you wish you started earlier when you started sophomore year, which, of course, I think everyone feels that way to some extent. It does always feel better to have said that and recognize that at some point along the way, every once in a while I will meet families or, you know, maybe someone I taught at TPAP or someone I go, I know this person, but they didn't necessarily take the process with as much seriousness as needed. And if you realize that at Unifieds, it's tough, then you go, oh, man, I really didn't approach this. I didn't apply to enough schools. I didn't really know what this thing was. And everyone seems to be coming in feeling prepared. And I feel less than you don't want that realization to happen in Chicago.

[46:32] Amy Breslow: And I do think I would also, I just that, like, for the families that don't have at least one parent who is involved in some way, I do think you are the kind of family who is going to benefit even more from college advising or just guidance in general so that your student not only is going to have the resources for information, also just help with the organization and somebody to be a partner in this process. You know, when we hear of a family where that's the case, where both parents are like, I'm super busy, two inflexible jobs, neither of us is going to be able to help a lot. That is someone that we're going to go, you probably would be a candidate for college advising, right, because it's a lot to take on for the student alone.

It's not that we've never heard of that. We have had students who really shouldered this whole process and kind of white-knuckled it all. But it is really an exceptional young person who can handle everything artistically, handle all the organization, figure all out the travel and logistics and flights and all that kind of stuff while going to high school. That is a pretty extraordinary 17-18.

[48:25] Charlie Murphy: Yeah, that's really, I think, just a big, you know, it's a huge undertaking. And I think sometimes the kids do bite off more than they can chew, for sure. But I know over the years I've worked with parents in all different ways. I mean, I might meet with a family for an hour and that's all they feel they need. And that's great. And whatever advice and support I can provide in that hour is great. And then I have other families who, you know, I'll see them five, six, seven, eight times throughout the process. And I have others who I'm meeting with them constantly that they are, you know, using us in an all-inclusive kind of way that everything from A to Z, we're helping them with. And I think that that's one of the things that really drew me to MTCA in the very beginning when I was first looking at it for Jack was there were all these different possibilities.

You weren't, you know, put into this one box and it was like, well, this is the package and that is what you have to do. No, there were all kinds of possibilities. You want to work with your dance teacher at home? Okay. You want to do this? Okay. You want to go to that summer program? Okay. And I think it just made it seem like, you know, that it wasn't a hard push. It wasn't stressful like, oh, you have to do this. It was more of like, you know, hey, here are the things that are available. And what does my, you know, what did Jack need? What did Grace need? And being able to take advantage of that.

[50:15] Amy Breslow: And just knowing that, you know, MTCA was there. Both of my kids keep in touch with MTCA coaches still. You better believe it. We see Jack every time we're in Chicago. We love it. It's, you know, years later. Yes, years later. And I think that, you know, a lot of times when you hear about coaching, you know, it has in the past taken on, you know, negative connotation. But I really look at all this as training and education, you know, certainly from my perspective. I was talking with a potential new candidate and that's how I described it. You are a mentor and a guide to this young person's life. It's not just about the quick and dirty fix the material. It is about like helping them at the beginning, often of their, when we're talking about this as an acting coach, often the first sort of high-level acting coach that they've had or acting teacher, and then helping them lay the foundation for what will carry them through college will set them up right here.

[51:20] Charlie Murphy: All right. Now we're getting just in on the MTCA and we don't need to do that. And I promise I won't overlap too much with some of the tips and tricks of our regular webinars, but I do, did want to give just a couple, maybe a little tidbits of advice of stuff that you found has been really helpful. So maybe not like too time specific on the trips, tips and tricks, but of course it can be whatever comes to mind. Are there bits of advice and guidance that maybe you've given to families over the years where they consistently come back and say, Oh, this was so helpful and really changed my process. Thank you. Or maybe it's, I wish I'd known this sooner, but this really unlocked something for me. Do you have any of those sort of tried and true bits of advice?

[51:57] Amy Breslow: Oh my goodness. So many, so many. I think that one of the best pieces of advice that I know that I was given and that I continue to pass along is really to keep an open mind in this process. You know, don't write off a school because, oh, I heard, you know, this about it, um, you know, be open to exploring it. You know, I had a student this year who originally was not going to put a school on their list because it was in their home state and guess where they're going to go now. Guess where they're on the verge of committing. Um, so, you know, I always try to tell the families to kind of be open to all of that. Don't say no, no, no, too quick. Um, that I think is one of the biggest pieces of advice.

[52:56] Charlie Murphy: I love that also because it goes beyond just being open to that specific school, but it is such good advice for the way then you encounter your schools that maybe you knew you were going to always apply to that. Like to walk into those, it's both the schools that you might have negative feelings about and also the schools that you know, you're in love with to actually be able to walk in with that openness of like, what are you like to be curious and not know all the answers. You just come in as a much better auditioner than if you're like, this is the dream school. This specific school is on a pedestal versus going like, huh, I'm interested in meeting you. What are you going to be like for all schools is just great artistic advice.

[53:28] Amy Breslow: All right. Cut you off. You had a second one in there. And then two, we'll only do two bits of advice. Two bits of advice. Oh my goodness. Um, I would say, you know, start researching the schools early, you know, so if we're talking, you know, freshmen, sophomore parents start to look, you know, it doesn't mean that you're going to go to any of those particular schools, but you want to research, um, and doing some visits when they're younger visits, you know, in junior year and senior year, those are much more difficult because you're so busy with the process. Um, but I think as freshmen and sophomores, it can be good to just expose yourself to a city campus, a larger campus, that's not in the city, smaller schools, larger schools, but conservatory, um, and just see, you know, do you feel that school's compatible?

Because I think sometimes we do get hung up on a name of a school, you know, some of the schools, they've been around a really long time and they're on those, you know, top 20 lists, which I always, and here's another sneaking in a piece of advice, don't take those lists, you know, as gospels, you know, you can take them and use them for research, but you know, I could ask 10 people to make top lists of schools and you're going to have all these different schools on there. So, um, I think you have to take that with a grain of salt, but I think, you know, doing the research earlier and kind of spreading out the process, so it's not all jammed in to junior and then into senior year, because, you know, if you talk to any of the current seniors, you know, they're going to tell you as, you know, as slow as this did go.

[55:18] Charlie Murphy: Welcome back to Mapping The College Audition. Today, we're diving into the topic of parenting through the college audition journey.

[55:48] Amy Breslow: It's such a unique experience, and I think it's important for parents to understand how to navigate it.

[56:18] Charlie Murphy: Absolutely. So, Amy, can you share a bit about your personal experiences with the college audition process?

[56:48] Amy Breslow: Sure! As a parent, I found that there were times when we needed to have conversations about college-related topics, especially during the thick of applying and prescreens. But I also believe it's crucial to balance those discussions with enjoying family time. It can't be all about the process.

[57:18] Charlie Murphy: That's so smart. Is it always productive talk? For first-time families, it can sometimes just ramp up anxiety without providing any real answers.

[57:48] Amy Breslow: Exactly. Sometimes, those conversations can just add to the stress and anxiety. If we could talk about it a little less and focus on other things, it was definitely better for everyone.

[58:18] Charlie Murphy: I love that perspective. It reminds me of what Brett said on that parent panel about letting kids make mistakes and supporting them without trying to control them.

[58:48] Amy Breslow: Yes! It's about helping them become the people they want to be, rather than molding them into what we think they should be. Of course, there are times when guidance is necessary, especially if they're heading towards a dangerous mistake.

[59:18] Charlie Murphy: Right. They need to learn on their own, even if it means facing some tough lessons.

[59:49] Amy Breslow: I've seen parents who think they just need to get their kids into college and then everything will be fine. But that mentality can carry over into their college experience and beyond.

[1:00:00] Charlie Murphy: Yes, at some point, they need to spread their wings and learn to fly on their own.

[1:00:05] Amy Breslow: Exactly!

[1:00:36] Charlie Murphy: Do you have any bonus advice for our partnership? You and Brett seem to communicate so well through this stressful process.

[1:00:40] Amy Breslow: Well, the first time around was definitely more stressful for Brett, thinking about Jack flying the nest. But once we experienced it as a family, we realized it was going to be okay.

[1:01:00] Charlie Murphy: That's a great perspective.

[1:01:04] Amy Breslow: With Grace, it was a blur because we were all still in lockdown. We approached things differently because of what our family went through during COVID.

[1:01:11] Charlie Murphy: That must have been incredibly challenging.

[1:01:14] Amy Breslow: It was. My husband was very sick with COVID and hospitalized during Grace's audition process. So, with his life at stake, the rest of it just didn't matter as much.

[1:01:20] Charlie Murphy: That puts things into perspective.

[1:01:22] Amy Breslow: Yes, we just wanted our kid to be happy and not sweat the small stuff.

[1:01:29] Charlie Murphy: That's such good advice.

[1:01:33] Amy Breslow: And hopefully, there were some vacations or massages for you afterward for what you had to go through.

[1:01:40] Charlie Murphy: Yes, slowly but surely, we're finally coming out of it.

[1:01:43] Amy Breslow: I'm glad to hear that.

[1:01:46] Charlie Murphy: Thank you for your time today, Amy. This was so fun to get to see you.

[1:01:50] Amy Breslow: Always a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

[1:01:56] Charlie Murphy: What a joy to sit down with Amy. I tried to keep this episode distinct from our webinars, which tend to focus more on the how-tos and specifics of the process.

[1:02:06] Amy Breslow: I think you did a great job balancing that.

[1:02:10] Charlie Murphy: I appreciate that. I really liked Amy's advice about openness and starting research early.

[1:02:18] Amy Breslow: Yes, it's so important for parents to be involved in a way that supports their kids without overwhelming them.

[1:02:25] Charlie Murphy: Exactly. I want to keep showing different models of parental involvement in future episodes.

[1:02:30] Amy Breslow: That’s a great idea.

[1:02:34] Charlie Murphy: Many students have a parent helping them significantly through this process, and if not, they often have outside resources like a college advisor.

[1:02:41] Amy Breslow: Yes, and having that support can make a huge difference.

[1:02:45] Charlie Murphy: I know my parents would have benefited from a college advisor like you, Amy.

[1:02:50] Amy Breslow: I'm glad to hear that! It’s all about easing the stress for families.

[1:09:07] Charlie Murphy: Welcome back to Mapping The College Audition. I'm your host, Charlie Murphy, and today we have a special guest, Amy Breslow, who is not only an MTCA College Advisor but also a two-time MTCA parent. We're going to dive into the college audition journey from a parent's perspective.

[1:09:37] Amy Breslow: Thanks for having me, Charlie. I'm excited to share my experiences and insights on this journey.

[1:09:57] Charlie Murphy: Absolutely! So, let's start with your personal experiences. Can you tell us about your journey through the college audition process with your children?

[1:10:17] Amy Breslow: Sure! It was quite a journey, filled with ups and downs. I remember the excitement and anxiety that came with each audition. It was important for me to be supportive while also allowing them to take the lead in their own process.

[1:10:37] Charlie Murphy: That’s a great approach. How do you think parents can best show up for their kids during this time?

[1:10:57] Amy Breslow: I believe it's crucial for parents to be present and listen. It's about being a sounding board and providing encouragement without adding pressure. Each child is different, and understanding their individual needs is key.

[1:11:17] Charlie Murphy: That makes a lot of sense. What advice would you give to parents who are navigating school decisions with their children?

[1:11:37] Amy Breslow: I would suggest keeping an open mind. It's easy to get caught up in rankings or reputation, but what's most important is finding the right fit for your child. Encourage them to explore various options and trust their instincts.

[1:11:57] Charlie Murphy: Yes, trusting their instincts is vital. How did you handle the stress that comes with the audition process?

[1:12:17] Amy Breslow: I tried to stay organized and focused on the positives. We made a plan and broke it down into manageable steps. It helped to keep the stress at bay and made the process feel less overwhelming.

[1:12:37] Charlie Murphy: That's a smart strategy. Did you find any resources particularly helpful during this time?

[1:12:57] Amy Breslow: Definitely! MTCA was a huge support for us. The guidance and coaching provided were invaluable. We also found community support through other parents and students going through the same process.

[1:13:17] Charlie Murphy: Community support can make a big difference. What do you think is the most important thing for parents to remember during this journey?

[1:13:37] Amy Breslow: I think it's essential to remember that this is a journey, not a race. It's about growth and discovery for both the student and the parent. Celebrate the small victories along the way.

[1:13:57] Charlie Murphy: That's a wonderful perspective. As a parent, how did you balance your involvement with allowing your children to take ownership of their auditions?

[1:14:17] Amy Breslow: It was a delicate balance. I made sure to provide support and guidance, but I also encouraged them to take the lead. It was important for them to feel empowered in their decisions.

[1:14:37] Charlie Murphy: Empowerment is key. Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

[1:14:57] Amy Breslow: I think I would have tried to worry less. It's easy to get caught up in the stress of the process, but I learned that staying calm and supportive was the best approach.

[1:15:17] Charlie Murphy: Great insight. What would you say to parents who are just starting this journey?

[1:15:37] Amy Breslow: I would say to take a deep breath and enjoy the process. It's an exciting time for your child, and being there for them with love and support is what matters most.

[1:15:57] Charlie Murphy: Thank you, Amy. Your experiences and advice are incredibly valuable.

[1:16:17] Amy Breslow: Thank you for having me, Charlie. I'm glad to share my journey and hopefully help other parents along the way.

[1:16:37] Charlie Murphy: Absolutely! If anyone has questions or wants to reach out, they can contact us at mailbag@mappingthecollegeaudition.com.

[1:16:57] Amy Breslow: Yes, please do! We're here to help.

[1:17:17] Charlie Murphy: Thanks again, Amy. It's been a pleasure having you on the show.

[1:17:37] Amy Breslow: Thank you, Charlie.

[1:17:57] Charlie Murphy: And to our listeners, remember to stay tuned for more insights on the college audition process.

[1:18:07] Amy Breslow: Good luck to everyone out there!

[1:18:27] Charlie Murphy: Until next time, take care!

[1:18:47] Amy Breslow: Bye!

[1:19:07] Charlie Murphy: Bye!

[1:19:27] Charlie Murphy: This episode was produced by Kelly Prendergast with social media by Jordan Rice.

[1:19:47] Charlie Murphy: Our theme music was created by...

[1:20:07] Charlie Murphy: ...and we look forward to seeing you next time on Mapping The College Audition.

[1:20:27] Charlie Murphy: Bye for now!

[1:20:47] Charlie Murphy: Bye!

[1:21:07] Charlie Murphy: Thanks for listening!

[1:21:27] Charlie Murphy: See you next time!

[1:21:47] Charlie Murphy: Take care!

[1:21:57] Charlie Murphy: Bye!

[1:22:07] Charlie Murphy: Bye!

[1:22:28] Charlie Murphy: Thanks again!

[1:22:38] Charlie Murphy: Bye!