This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Lillian Castillo: Mythic Thunderlute is brought to you with support from 11th Hour Theater Company, Philadelphia's only all musical theater company.

[0:07] Lillian Castillo: Visit 11thhourtheatercompany.org for more information.

[0:11] Lillian Castillo: If you'd like to support Mythic Thunderlute, join our Patreon by going to patreon.com slash Mythic Thunderlute.

[0:19] Lillian Castillo: With that, here's episode two.

[0:25] Lillian Castillo: Mythic Thunderlute.

[0:41] Lillian Castillo: Welcome to Mythic Thunderlute, a D&D podcast musical.

[0:47] Lillian Castillo: I'm Lillian Castillo.

[0:48] Jake Black: I'm Jake Black.

[0:49] Michael Darty: I'm Michael Darty.

[0:50] Steve Goodalunas: I'm Steve Goodalunas.

[0:51] Leigha Cotto: And I'm Leigha Cotto.

[0:53] Lillian Castillo: And that is the team.

[0:55] Lillian Castillo: And here we go again to episode two.

[0:55] Jake Black: Episode two.

[0:59] Michael Darty: Yes.

[1:00] Steve Goodalunas: No, that that's not copyrighted because uh we're protected by parody law.

[1:03] Leigha Cotto: Yes.

[1:04] Jake Black: Is that real?

[1:05] Michael Darty: I assumed as much I took the chance.

[1:07] Jake Black: I went for it.

[1:08] Lillian Castillo: I love it.

[1:08] Lillian Castillo: How's everyone feeling?

[1:09] Jake Black: I'm feel good.

[1:10] Jake Black: I'm amped because uh I feel like we've gotten the plane off the ground now, and I was I was white knuckling it last week, and now I'm like, you know, purple knuckling it.

[1:20] Steve Goodalunas: Better.

[1:20] Michael Darty: Week three is when you landed on the Hudson.

[1:24] Jake Black: I are you calling me the Sully of Game Makers?

[1:27] Steve Goodalunas: I'm calling you the Sully Sullenberger of of Game Making.

[1:31] Jake Black: What an honor.

[1:32] Michael Darty: My word.

[1:33] Steve Goodalunas: Yeah.

[1:33] Jake Black: Tom Hanks is gonna play you someday.

[1:34] Michael Darty: It's gonna be real old.

[1:35] Jake Black: Yeah, Tom Hanks is gonna play you.

[1:37] Michael Darty: They're just gonna put all those dots over his face to look to like young him up.

[1:41] Jake Black: Yeah.

[1:41] Michael Darty: Yeah, they're gonna go Irishman on Tom Hanks just with just with your face.

[1:44] Jake Black: No one needs to see that.

[1:46] Lillian Castillo: Everyone needs to see that.

[1:47] Lillian Castillo: Um, is everybody ready?

[1:48] All: Yeah, yeah.

[1:49] Jake Black: Yes.

[1:50] Jake Black: Why not?

[1:50] Jake Black: Let's do it.

[1:51] Lillian Castillo: All right, then I'm going to take this opportunity to hand it over to our man of the hour, my daughter.

[1:57] Leigha Cotto: Woohoo!

[1:58] Lillian Castillo: Thank you, thank you.

[1:59] Lillian Castillo: Today on the pod, we have special guest Tony Carter, Chicago Theater Star.

[2:03] Lillian Castillo: He's performed at Drury Lane, Theater at the Center and the Marriott.

[2:07] Lillian Castillo: Coming up, folks in the area can catch him in the Chicago Shakespeare Theater production of As You Like It, which begins performances on October 6th.

[2:15] Lillian Castillo: Tony, thanks so much for being here.

[2:16] Tony Carter: Thank you so much for having me.

[2:18] Tony Carter: It's been a delight.

[2:18] Lillian Castillo: Oh, absolutely.

[2:20] Lillian Castillo: Um, now I understand this is a Beatles music infused production of As You Like It.

[2:26] Tony Carter: Yeah, isn't that neat?

[2:27] Lillian Castillo: Yeah, tell us about that.

[2:28] Tony Carter: It's conceived and directed by Daryl Clorin, and uh I actually get to sing some of my like absolute favorite Beatles songs.

[2:34] Tony Carter: Like Good Day Sunshine and Here Comes the Sun.

[2:37] Tony Carter: I'm playing Oliver, who's kind of a villain, and so I think we're turning money.

[2:41] Tony Carter: Uh that's what I want into uh his little his little number.

[2:45] Lillian Castillo: Little anthem.

[2:46] Tony Carter: Yeah.

[2:47] Lillian Castillo: Great.

[2:47] Lillian Castillo: How very cool is that, Tony.

[2:50] Lillian Castillo: Thank you so much for being here.

[2:52] Lillian Castillo: Chicago area friends.

[2:53] Lillian Castillo: Be sure to catch As You Like It in the Fall.

[2:56] Lillian Castillo: And with that, I'm gonna explain how this works.

[2:59] Lillian Castillo: Here's the deal.

[3:01] Lillian Castillo: Our four players will improvise their way through a fantasy style role-playing game of my making.

[3:07] Jake Black: If you say so.

[3:08] Lillian Castillo: After we record, we add sound effects.

[3:10] Lillian Castillo: Underscoring, full fledged musical numbers, and special guest voices.

[3:15] Lillian Castillo: And boom, there you have an episode.

[3:17] Michael Darty: Sound good?

[3:18] All: Yes.

[3:19] Michael Darty: Yeah, that's fine.

[3:19] Steve Goodalunas: Reasonable.

[3:20] Lillian Castillo: Great.

[3:20] Lillian Castillo: Then let's play Mythic Thunderlute!

[3:23] All: Meow meow meow!

[3:31] Lillian Castillo: Previously, on Mythic Thunderlute.

[3:33] Lillian Castillo: Eager gnome Puckface Doodalop discovers that her musical idol Edgar Hawk has been secretly living with her childhood friend, Roscoe Chubb.

[3:41] Lillian Castillo: When Jocasta Stormwood arrives from the forest with Roscoe's herb delivery, the spark of a jade causes a wood nymph to appear.

[3:48] Lillian Castillo: She pleads with the group to stop the digging of the Talia Shire mines by reviving the elven god known as Maras.

[3:54] Lillian Castillo: As they travel toward the god shrine in Borestead, their nation's capital, they encounter a traveling musician who inspires them and is then immediately killed.

[4:01] Lillian Castillo: Soon they acquire horses, and the group arrives in Borstead, just in time to hear the announcement of the Founder's Day Bicentennial in two weeks' time.

[4:09] Lillian Castillo: At the Shrine of Mares, an optimistic monk ushers them within, but when they perform a song that revives the old god and share the wood nymph's plea, Maris decides the best course of action is to wage war with their civilization.

[4:20] Lillian Castillo: He proceeds to fly through the roof, destroying the shrine and leaving our travelers in shock.

[4:25] Steve Goodalunas: Well shit.

[4:26] Lillian Castillo: As you stare at the sky, Morris's red glow fades into the heavens.

[4:31] Lillian Castillo: By the time you lower your gaze to take in the shrine that lays crumbled around you, you notice the bystanders of Borstead Square staring at you, baffled.

[4:39] Michael Darty: As some begin to murmur to one another, many more rush forward with concern.

[4:43] Unknown speaker: My word, are you okay?

[4:45] Unknown speaker: What happened?

[4:48] Unknown speaker: Well, it was the monk that did it.

[4:51] Unknown speaker: Well, we all, if we remember, uh, were trying to pray to the god when we discovered that we needed to clear the vines and moss away.

[5:03] Unknown speaker: You seem like you're having a hard time with this.

[5:05] Unknown speaker: And so we lit some quick fire.

[5:08] All: Yes.

[5:09] Unknown speaker: To um clear away when boom, right?

[5:12] Unknown speaker: The whole place combusted.

[5:14] All: Yep, sure.

[5:14] All: Yes.

[5:15] Jocasta Stormwood: Jocasta leans over to Puff Face's leg.

[5:18] Jocasta Stormwood: So are we lying now?

[5:19] Unknown speaker: I think we are lying now.

[5:21] Unknown speaker: I didn't think lying was okay.

[5:22] Unknown speaker: The old monk is gonna roll deception.

[5:25] Unknown speaker: And he's gonna crit fail.

[5:28] Unknown speaker: And based on that performance, that feels apt.

[5:31] Unknown speaker: So the crowd kind of is kind of like okay, and they're really skeptically gonna kind of back away from you.

[5:40] Unknown speaker: Good people, as we know, from time to time.

[5:44] Unknown speaker: Things like this happen.

[5:47] Unknown speaker: Dead gods come back to life and seek revenge.

[5:51] Unknown speaker: You hear people now start to murmur to one another.

[5:54] Unknown speaker: They they they seem like a little panicked.

[5:56] Unknown speaker: Well, you're really good at that, you know.

[5:57] Unknown speaker: I gotta tell you.

[5:58] Unknown speaker: Uh they all seem perfectly calm and uh clear-headed right now, so thank you very much.

[6:03] Unknown speaker: So we're lying to each other, too?

[6:04] Unknown speaker: I mean, I'm gonna go with it.

[6:05] Unknown speaker: I'm just gonna start lying all the time.

[6:07] Unknown speaker: Gio Costa, my darling.

[6:08] Unknown speaker: If I've taught you one thing, if it's to lie all the time, I'm so very proud of you.

[6:12] Unknown speaker: Didn't you guys just meet yesterday?

[6:14] Unknown speaker: Silence.

[6:14] Unknown speaker: And you see the King's Guard emerging from Orion's keep.

[6:17] Unknown speaker: I think it's time to go.

[6:18] Unknown speaker: Come follow me.

[6:19] Unknown speaker: Let's find a place we can talk in peace.

[6:22] Unknown speaker: Brother, what's your name?

[6:23] Unknown speaker: I am called Herman.

[6:24] Unknown speaker: And he starts to leave the square toward the east.

[6:26] Unknown speaker: Yeah, let's go with the monk.

[6:27] Unknown speaker: Come on.

[6:28] Unknown speaker: Tudoroso, let's go.

[6:29] Unknown speaker: You take your horses and you go.

[6:32] Unknown speaker: The monk looks back at you and says, We can talk while we eat.

[6:35] Unknown speaker: Fast food or upscale pub.

[6:37] Unknown speaker: Oh, I mean either.

[6:39] Unknown speaker: Upscale pub.

[6:40] Unknown speaker: Are you paying?

[6:41] Unknown speaker: I'm not paying.

[6:42] Unknown speaker: No, I don't have any money.

[6:43] Unknown speaker: I've taken a vow of poverty.

[6:45] Unknown speaker: Yeah, I think the fast food is like he nods and he makes a beeline down the street and through the front door of a colorful hut known as Beef Sovereign.

[6:53] Unknown speaker: The popular Idenian fast food franchise.

[6:56] Unknown speaker: The outside is adorned with cartoon images of King Daniel, the ruler at the time the franchise was founded, who was brutally slain by his nephew.

[7:04] Unknown speaker: There are six available hitching posts outside.

[7:07] Jocasta Stormwood: Oh, beef sovereign.

[7:08] Jocasta Stormwood: I love this place.

[7:09] Jocasta Stormwood: I hear it's not tape in beef.

[7:11] Unknown speaker: Do they have anything fresh here?

[7:12] Roscoe Chubb: Fresh?

[7:13] Roscoe Chubb: Yeah, probably some lettuce, a tomato or something.

[7:16] Roscoe Chubb: You know, you get an onion.

[7:17] Jocasta Stormwood: I never had fast food.

[7:18] Jocasta Stormwood: This is gonna be fun.

[7:19] Unknown speaker: You see a tall, thin black wooden structure across the street, known in Adenia as a K-Ren outpost.

[7:25] Jocasta Stormwood: Oh, goose poop.

[7:27] Jocasta Stormwood: Can I?

[7:27] Jocasta Stormwood: I'm I'm gonna be right back.

[7:29] Jocasta Stormwood: I'm gonna go and send my mama a message at this um K-Ren post, okay?

[7:34] Unknown speaker: Oh, good luck.

[7:35] Jocasta Stormwood: All right.

[7:35] Jocasta Stormwood: All right, I'll be right back.

[7:37] Unknown speaker: I go with him.

[7:37] Unknown speaker: I'm I'm starving.

[7:38] Unknown speaker: Inside Beef Sovereign, fatty aromas fill the air, dozens of wealthy humans sit hunched over, devouring their food in shame.

[7:46] Unknown speaker: At the front, a pimple-faced teen stands at the counter in a paper crown and colorful uniform.

[7:51] Unknown speaker: The monk says, Buy something to eat.

[7:54] Unknown speaker: I'll grab us a table.

[7:55] Unknown speaker: And he moves discreetly to a corner booth.

[7:57] Pimple-faced teen: Hello, welcome to Beef Sovereign, home of the King Slaying Quadruple Decker combo.

[8:02] Pimple-faced teen: What shall you feast upon today?

[8:04] Roscoe Chubb: I'll have two of those, please.

[8:06] Roscoe Chubb: I'll take uh three apple pies, I'll have one large fry, and I'll take three soft drinks, please.

[8:11] Roscoe Chubb: That's just for me.

[8:11] Unknown speaker: I don't know what my friends are.

[8:13] Jocasta Stormwood: Hi, do you have any type of um salad?

[8:17] Lillian Castillo: Jocasta, you cross the street to the K-Ren outpost.

[8:21] Lillian Castillo: Inside a bespectacled and tiny human sits behind a desk, counting gelder and scrawling notes.

[8:27] Lillian Castillo: Above, you notice rows of raptors crisscrossing their way up to the ceiling, upon which are perched dozens upon dozens of K-Rens.

[8:35] Lillian Castillo: Ravens with Can I Speak to Your Manager haircuts, which serve as the messenger birds to the citizens of Idenia.

[8:42] Lillian Castillo: Their chatter fills the room.

[8:44] Unknown speaker: My last client only tipped me like two Galder, so I told him I feel assaulted by your lack of generosity.

[8:53] Jocasta Stormwood: Um Joe Costa feels extremely uncomfortable in this place, surrounded by all these K-Rens.

[8:59] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: Welcome to the outpost.

[9:01] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: Send a K to make someone's day.

[9:03] Jocasta Stormwood: Excuse me, I'd like to send a message to the Stormwood, please.

[9:07] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: The forest outside of Talia Shire.

[9:09] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: Yes.

[9:09] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: We don't typically send there, but uh I could do it for 12.

[9:13] Jocasta Stormwood: Okay.

[9:14] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: Pay up front.

[9:15] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: He beckons up to the rafters.

[9:16] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: Ladies, next in line, and proceeds to place a small velvet pillow upon his desk.

[9:22] K-Ren: A K-Ren flutters down, muttering, Ugh, rude, I have a name.

[9:26] K-Ren: It's Kathy.

[9:28] K-Ren: And she flops down on the pillow and looks at you.

[9:32] Jocasta Stormwood: What?

[9:33] Jocasta Stormwood: Hi, Kathy.

[9:34] Jocasta Stormwood: I need you to send a message to my mama Minerva in Stormwood.

[9:38] K-Ren: Okay.

[9:38] K-Ren: Uh-huh.

[9:39] Jocasta Stormwood: Let her know that I am safe.

[9:41] Jocasta Stormwood: Um, that I have traveled to Borstead because I have become aware of a problem that needs taken care of in order to protect our business.

[9:51] K-Ren: Is that all?

[9:52] Jocasta Stormwood: Yeah, tell her that I love her.

[9:54] K-Ren: You got it.

[9:54] K-Ren: And she judgmentally flies away.

[9:57] Unknown speaker: There's gotta be a better way.

[10:01] Unknown speaker: There's gotta be a better way to send your love to your to your family than these birds.

[10:05] Unknown speaker: No fan.

[10:06] Unknown speaker: It's been existing before I got here, and I hope it will be gone when I am.

[10:11] Unknown speaker: I hope so too.

[10:12] Unknown speaker: I have a question.

[10:13] Unknown speaker: How do you live in this room all day?

[10:15] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: I slowly go mad.

[10:17] Unknown speaker: That was my guess.

[10:18] Unknown speaker: I hope you have a really, really nice day.

[10:20] K-Ren Outpost Clerk: I won't.

[10:21] Unknown speaker: Oh.

[10:22] Unknown speaker: Well, then I hope you go slowly deaf.

[10:25] Lillian Castillo: And Jocasta leaves the K-Ren outpost.

[10:28] Lillian Castillo: Meanwhile, inside Beef Sovereign.

[10:30] Pimple-faced teen: Your total comes to 38 Gelder.

[10:33] Roscoe Chubb: I'll take care of it.

[10:34] Roscoe Chubb: It's fine.

[10:34] Unknown speaker: Thank you, Roscoe.

[10:35] Roscoe Chubb: Uh no, you're paying me back.

[10:37] Unknown speaker: No, no, no, wait.

[10:37] Unknown speaker: I'm not paying for it.

[10:38] Unknown speaker: Paying for it.

[10:39] Unknown speaker: Like, I'm gonna pay for it now.

[10:40] Unknown speaker: And we're gonna pay you back.

[10:42] Lillian Castillo: At this moment, Jocasta Stormwood enters from across the street.

[10:45] Lillian Castillo: And before you know it, your food is dropped on the counter by a very focused young dwarf.

[10:50] Young dwarf: Thank ye for choosing beef sovereign.

[10:52] Young dwarf: Have a royal day.

[10:54] Unknown speaker: Thank you.

[10:55] Unknown speaker: Thank you very much.

[10:56] Unknown speaker: I think we should sit down and talk to our little elf muck friend over there and find out what's going on.

[11:01] Unknown speaker: How to do, brother.

[11:02] Unknown speaker: So the god Morris, he said he was gonna wage war on the kingdom.

[11:06] Unknown speaker: Um, how serious do you think that is?

[11:09] Unknown speaker: Well, considering that he is the god of agriculture and war, it could be quite serious.

[11:15] Unknown speaker: Or you were not aware that he was the god of war.

[11:19] Unknown speaker: No.

[11:20] Unknown speaker: I see.

[11:21] Unknown speaker: We elves built Mars' shrine to aid the nation of men during the Great War against the dragons.

[11:27] Unknown speaker: Uh we kept our necks out of the fray and then watched as our comrades burned, and there the shrine sat for over a millennium, a testament to our cowardice.

[11:37] Unknown speaker: Wow.

[11:38] Unknown speaker: That's intense.

[11:40] Unknown speaker: We need to find a way to stop Maris from taking such drastic measures.

[11:46] Unknown speaker: Do you have any recommendations?

[11:47] Unknown speaker: Well, Mares is not omnipotent.

[11:50] Unknown speaker: He answers to Zodindra, the god of all.

[11:53] Unknown speaker: Oh, so we just go to Zodindra and make a plea before Zodindra.

[11:57] Unknown speaker: No, the only thing is, all remaining houses of worship to the gods of old lie in the elf nation, Karkatar.

[12:05] Unknown speaker: Well, all of you young people have a lot of spunk.

[12:08] Unknown speaker: Uh, very clearly, this is where things end for me.

[12:12] Unknown speaker: It has been lovely getting to know all of your.

[12:15] Unknown speaker: Now hold on, buddy.

[12:16] Unknown speaker: You don't get to leave.

[12:16] Unknown speaker: You stay on my couch for nothing.

[12:18] Unknown speaker: This is true.

[12:19] Unknown speaker: You do nothing but insult me.

[12:21] Unknown speaker: You're not leaving.

[12:22] Unknown speaker: My dear Roscoe Chubb, if I were to return to Kakatara, it would be a death sentence for you and me and all the rest of us.

[12:29] Unknown speaker: Nobody knows you.

[12:30] Lillian Castillo: At this point, the monk comes forward.

[12:33] Lillian Castillo: All the color has drained from his face, and he says to Edgar, I knew it.

[12:38] Lillian Castillo: You're Edgar Non Quindalari, the fallen prince.

[12:42] Unknown speaker: Um he's asleep.

[12:44] Unknown speaker: Have you not told them?

[12:45] Unknown speaker: Uh no.

[12:47] Unknown speaker: No.

[12:47] Unknown speaker: What's that about?

[12:48] Unknown speaker: All right, so uh before I was Edgar Hawk of Elf Mother, I was Edgar Nonquindalari, heir to the throne of Kakatara and your fucking royalty?

[12:59] Unknown speaker: I forsook my throne in order to follow uh the music that I loved.

[13:05] Unknown speaker: But it did lead to a bit of a banishment from Kakatara and a uh promise of death should I ever return.

[13:13] Unknown speaker: Well, you could just wait outside.

[13:14] Unknown speaker: You know, you come with us, you wait outside, we'll go and do what we gotta do, we'll come back and get you.

[13:18] Unknown speaker: Come on.

[13:19] Unknown speaker: I shall go in disguise.

[13:20] Unknown speaker: There you go.

[13:21] Unknown speaker: Now, I should say, access to the sanctuary can only be granted by the queen herself.

[13:27] Unknown speaker: Great, so we gotta disguise you real good.

[13:29] Unknown speaker: You leave that to me.

[13:31] Unknown speaker: I've uh learned to use a makeup kit in my day there, Pugface.

[13:34] Unknown speaker: You get up to leave, everyone roll perception.

[13:37] Unknown speaker: I got an unnatural twin.

[13:39] Jocasta Stormwood: Joe Costa, you see out the window.

[13:42] Jocasta Stormwood: King's guard are inspecting your horses.

[13:45] Unknown speaker: Somebody's checking out our rides, y'all.

[13:47] Unknown speaker: They better get away from Tularoso.

[13:49] Unknown speaker: Quickly, I must disguise myself now.

[13:50] Unknown speaker: Into the water closet.

[13:52] Unknown speaker: Come, come.

[13:52] Unknown speaker: All of us?

[13:53] Unknown speaker: Especially you, Pugface.

[13:54] Unknown speaker: You know your way around clothing.

[13:55] Unknown speaker: Come, come, come.

[13:56] Unknown speaker: You pile into this bathroom.

[13:57] Jocasta Stormwood: Jocasta goes in, finds herself a corner, covers her eyes, because she doesn't know what's about to happen.

[14:02] Unknown speaker: No, it's all right.

[14:03] Unknown speaker: It's all it's all just magic.

[14:04] Unknown speaker: It's all magic, and there's no deribing.

[14:06] Unknown speaker: What's your plan, bud?

[14:07] Unknown speaker: I am going to disguise myself.

[14:09] Unknown speaker: Okay.

[14:10] Unknown speaker: As King Cyrus.

[14:12] Unknown speaker: Oh.

[14:13] Unknown speaker: That way, I shall ride through the streets, be unharmed.

[14:17] Unknown speaker: And who does that make us?

[14:18] Unknown speaker: Yeah, what does that do for me? Very clearly, when the King Sguard who are inspecting our horses right now see me, I should simply order them away, for I'm King Cyrus.

[14:26] Lillian Castillo: Wouldn't that bring more attention to you, though?

[14:29] Unknown speaker: For a brief moment, but we're leaving, we're going, we're out of Borstead.

[14:33] Unknown speaker: It may be worth a try if we want to recover the horse.

[14:36] Unknown speaker: I mean, at this point, what the hell? Uh, Herman, what does the King Cyrus, what does he sound like when he talks?

[14:42] Tony Carter: Well, I'm I'm not one for impressions, but kind of like I I say, you there.

[14:48] Tony Carter: I demand you to leave my court instantly. Something like that.

[14:54] Unknown speaker: That was good. Let me know how this looks.

[14:56] Unknown speaker: And Edgar sort of like flashes his hands in front of his face a few times, and then how's that?

[15:02] Unknown speaker: Can you give me a roll for it to see the quality of your disguise?

[15:06] Unknown speaker: It's uh it's an awful so you've got the equivalent of like someone putting their finger in front of their nose to pretend they have a mustache.

[15:16] Unknown speaker: Perhaps not the most convincing uh disguise.

[15:22] Unknown speaker: But I must say the ruling class has the wool over your eyes.

[15:30] Unknown speaker: They make it out to be some sort of noble pedigree, but here's the thing anyone can be king.

[15:41] Unknown speaker: Had a little brush with royalty that didn't turn out good.

[15:46] Unknown speaker: Spend a little time in the court, and there's one thing that's understood.

[15:52] Unknown speaker: Anyone that could sit on their lazy asses is good enough to rule the messes.

[15:57] Unknown speaker: That's the thing. Anyone can be king.

[16:03] Unknown speaker: That's what the king looks like.

[16:04] Unknown speaker: Well, it'll have to do for now. Come on.

[16:06] Unknown speaker: Didn't you just say that puck face is really good with like uh costumes and disguises?

[16:10] Unknown speaker: Maybe she should try and do it.

[16:11] Unknown speaker: I we gotta get something better than this.

[16:13] Unknown speaker: We're gonna be dead. Alright, do your worst, puck face.

[16:16] Unknown speaker: A little bit of rouge can really go a long way.

[16:22] Unknown speaker: Right up your eyes, turn the smile from the front.

[16:27] Unknown speaker: A little foundation, and when you enter this play.

[16:33] Unknown speaker: How about your chest?

[16:34] Unknown speaker: Stick up your chin, slide his head that wears his crown.

[16:38] Unknown speaker: Walk around and speak in platitudes with a self-important attitude.

[16:43] Unknown speaker: Yes, that's the thing.

[16:45] Unknown speaker: Anyone could be key.

[16:49] Unknown speaker: Pugface, give it a shot.

[16:51] Unknown speaker: Add proficiency to whatever you roll.

[16:53] Unknown speaker: Fuck.

[16:53] Unknown speaker: Sorry, it's a five.

[16:55] Unknown speaker: Okay, she does her best because Edgar's shoddy workmanship was so rough to begin with.

[17:00] Unknown speaker: It's kind of like polishing a turd right now.

[17:02] Unknown speaker: Just I'm really nervous right now.

[17:04] Unknown speaker: I'm really sorry. I I'm embarrassed.

[17:06] Unknown speaker: It's gonna be up to him to really sell this one. You know what I mean?

[17:09] Unknown speaker: Here we go.

[17:10] Unknown speaker: Show time.

[17:12] Unknown speaker: We tell me fancy jewels and rings to show the world that we are bad swing.

[17:22] Unknown speaker: So here I see Anyone can be king.

[17:30] Unknown speaker: You know, that's really nothing to it.

[17:33] Unknown speaker: Shit, guys. I think I blew it.

[17:36] Unknown speaker: Will this work?

[17:37] Unknown speaker: Who knows? Let's do it.

[17:38] Unknown speaker: We know one thing.

[17:42] Unknown speaker: Anyone can be killed.

[17:49] Unknown speaker: Edgar steps out of the bathroom.

[17:51] Unknown speaker: Greetings, my subjects!

[17:53] Unknown speaker: And he's as he's saying this, he's sort of like making his way out the door.

[17:57] Unknown speaker: Come along, my my people in waiting.

[17:59] Unknown speaker: We must we must to the key.

[18:01] Unknown speaker: Herman the monk kind of throws his his hood over his head and follows behind.

[18:05] Unknown speaker: Bless you, Padre.

[18:06] Unknown speaker: As everyone kind of stares at you in in total bafflement.

[18:10] Unknown speaker: You step outside the door where the King's Guard appear to be inspecting your horses.

[18:15] Unknown speaker: And you've captured all of their attention.

[18:18] Unknown speaker: Good men of both Ted.

[18:21] Unknown speaker: I thank you for your attention to my steed, but I must mount it and be on my way.

[18:26] Unknown speaker: Roll deception.

[18:27] Unknown speaker: Um, that's uh that's gonna be a 15.

[18:30] Unknown speaker: Okay. Surprisingly, despite your horrible disguise, the King's Guard all immediately kneel and say, My sovereign, I did not realize you were here.

[18:40] Unknown speaker: These steeds belong to you.

[18:41] Unknown speaker: We thought they were the horses of the terrorists.

[18:44] Unknown speaker: Perfectly understandable.

[18:46] Unknown speaker: I came in through the back.

[18:47] Unknown speaker: And as we all know, horses tend to look like other horses.

[18:51] Unknown speaker: Absolutely, my sovereign.

[18:53] Unknown speaker: We shall continue to search the square for the terrorists.

[18:55] Unknown speaker: And the ten Kingsguard soldiers march off back toward the square.

[18:59] Unknown speaker: I cannot believe that actually worked.

[19:01] Unknown speaker: I hop on Nick Foles and begin to regally make but quickly make my way.

[19:05] Unknown speaker: Herman the monk asks, Who do I ride with?

[19:08] Unknown speaker: Oh, you can ride with me.

[19:10] Unknown speaker: You ride down the king's road for a few miles.

[19:13] Unknown speaker: You notice the terrain notably change.

[19:15] Unknown speaker: Just ahead of you, at the road's end, massive elve wood trees extend into the sky.

[19:20] Lillian Castillo: Jocasta, Roscoe, and Pugface.

[19:22] Lillian Castillo: You stare in awe as you've never seen a trunk nearly as wide nor as tall.

[19:26] Unknown speaker: You've reached the Kar Qataran border.

[19:28] Unknown speaker: I've been I've grown up around a lot of trees, and these are Grade A trees.

[19:33] Unknown speaker: This is magical.

[19:34] Unknown speaker: It's a little less awesome when you grow up there, let me tell you.

[19:37] Unknown speaker: Uh, do we wish to keep going with this disguise, Edgar?

[19:42] Unknown speaker: I didn't have a better plan at this point.

[19:44] Unknown speaker: You're not gonna go wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[19:46] Unknown speaker: You're not gonna go in there dressed like the king.

[19:48] Unknown speaker: Yeah, that's insane.

[19:49] Unknown speaker: The king's very guard itself bought it.

[19:52] Unknown speaker: I think we'll be all right.

[19:53] Unknown speaker: I agree.

[19:54] Unknown speaker: I I was I did not have faith in this disguise, but I really believe in it now.

[19:58] Unknown speaker: Line is the way to go.

[20:00] Lillian Castillo: I'd like that spirit, Docasta.

[20:01] Unknown speaker: You enter Kar Katara and proceed through the Elvwood Forest.

[20:05] Unknown speaker: Before long, you hear a voice from high above you yell, HOOOOOO!

[20:10] Unknown speaker: A horn is blown!

[20:14] Unknown speaker: And dozens and dozens of elven soldiers descend from the trees.

[20:19] Unknown speaker: They appear to use blades affixed to their wrists to scale the mammoth trunks.

[20:24] Unknown speaker: Tension mounts.

[20:25] Unknown speaker: A platoon of soldiers arrives from the east on horseback.

[20:28] Unknown speaker: Chief among them, a gnarled and truly ancient elf, whom Edgar recognizes as General Alvar, commander of the Car Kataran army, and Edgar's former mentor.

[20:38] Unknown speaker: Uh, Edgar stifles back a little lump in his throat when he sees General Ovar.

[20:42] Lillian Castillo: Are you okay?

[20:43] Unknown speaker: And carries on with his King Cyrus.

[20:45] Unknown speaker: Greetings to thee, oh elves.

[20:48] Unknown speaker: I am King Cyrus of the nation of Adania, and I have come upon a diplomatic mission in order to reestablish diplomatic relations between our two nations.

[21:00] Unknown speaker: Do you hear some of the soldiers murmuring like, I didn't realize there was problems with our diplomatic relationship.

[21:07] Unknown speaker: And give me a deception check.

[21:09] Unknown speaker: Clearly not up on my history, huh?

[21:11] Unknown speaker: Um.

[21:12] Unknown speaker: Ooh, uh, 22.

[21:14] Unknown speaker: Everyone seems to buy it, and uh General Alvar hops off his horse and says, Greetings, King Cyrus.

[21:21] Unknown speaker: I wasn't expecting your arrival.

[21:24] Unknown speaker: You wish to speak with the Queen?

[21:26] Unknown speaker: The Queen herself, yes.

[21:28] Unknown speaker: Very well.

[21:29] Unknown speaker: We shall escort you to Redfear.

[21:32] Unknown speaker: Come, and he ablely hops upon his horse.

[21:34] Unknown speaker: We ride east.

[21:36] Unknown speaker: And the platoon of soldiers rides forth.

[21:39] Unknown speaker: I'll tell you what, this is amazing.

[21:41] Unknown speaker: As you start to head towards Red Fear, General Alvar turns back to who he thinks is King Cyrus and says, Now then, if you wish to gain counsel with the Queen, I'm afraid she's currently got a bit of a mess on her hands.

[21:54] Unknown speaker: Oh.

[21:55] Unknown speaker: How's that?

[21:56] Unknown speaker: Do tell.

[21:56] Unknown speaker: It begins rather long ago, when a certain Edgar Non Quindalari forsakes his throne.

[22:02] Unknown speaker: After his father died, his sister banished rock music from the land.

[22:07] Unknown speaker: And for a while it seemed like this land would never rock again.

[22:11] Unknown speaker: But recently, a new generation of elves has come of age, unable to comprehend why something so joyous could be forboten.

[22:19] Unknown speaker: Oh, so they like rock music now, huh?

[22:22] Unknown speaker: A couple of years ago, it was more quiet disobedience.

[22:26] Unknown speaker: Underground speakeasies, where young elves would rock out until the rangers would come in and break up the party.

[22:32] Unknown speaker: Now, a veritable rock revolution brews in the streets of our capital, and it seems Queen Castani is mere days away from calling in the army to end it.

[22:41] Unknown speaker: Still the tyrant, is she, huh?

[22:43] Unknown speaker: Ever so, I'm afraid.

[22:45] Unknown speaker: I mean, oh, a good good tyrant like I would be if my people an elderly elf uh moves his horse closer and closer to uh Edgar's horse, and he squints at who he thinks is King Cyrus and very quietly says, Edgar Non?

[22:59] Unknown speaker: No, tis King Cyrus Yes, hello, General.

[23:04] Unknown speaker: All of the Karkataran army draw their bows and train them on Edgar.

[23:09] Unknown speaker: Oh my god, I forgot about that.

[23:10] Unknown speaker: General Alvar yells, Holt, and the army stops.

[23:14] Unknown speaker: Now, this man is our guest, and I'll thank you not to act insubordinate to your general.

[23:21] Unknown speaker: He rides east with us, and we discuss it at the campfire tonight.

[23:26] Unknown speaker: Just a quick question, uh, for the old elf.

[23:29] Unknown speaker: Uh, are we uh are we a part of this crew too?

[23:33] Unknown speaker: Edgar Non, why don't you introduce me to your friends?

[23:36] Unknown speaker: Um, this is uh Pegface.

[23:40] Unknown speaker: Hello.

[23:40] Unknown speaker: And my former roommate, uh Roscoe.

[23:43] Unknown speaker: Come on, Eddie, you're gonna his um friend.

[23:46] Unknown speaker: We're friends.

[23:47] Unknown speaker: Two Castor.

[23:48] Unknown speaker: And um we are a rock and roll band.

[23:51] Unknown speaker: I see.

[23:52] Unknown speaker: Come.

[23:53] Unknown speaker: We ride for Redfear.

[23:55] Unknown speaker: Did everybody else catch that he called us a band?

[23:58] Unknown speaker: I did.

[23:58] Unknown speaker: I I perked up a little bit.

[24:00] Unknown speaker: After hours of riding, the caravan of horses finally reach a clearing of the Elvewood Forest before you, the gorgeous city of Red Fear sits in a large valley.

[24:10] Unknown speaker: The setting sun shines bright on the eastern city when Alvar says, To Fort Carlot.

[24:15] Unknown speaker: Yeah, and the horses break into a gallop.

[24:19] Unknown speaker: As you wind south along the valley's rim, you eventually reach a large stone fortress.

[24:24] Unknown speaker: Tents, large and small, line the front of the barracks, underneath the largest of which sits a buffet of steaming hot food.

[24:31] Unknown speaker: Remember, soldiers, guests eat first.

[24:37] Unknown speaker: Well, once again, where's the food?

[24:38] Unknown speaker: Where do we go?

[24:39] Unknown speaker: When you approach the buffet, you're amazed at the quality of the provisions, steaming piles of chicken and bore lay in large tins, accompanied by a wide array of brightly colored vegetables.

[24:48] Lillian Castillo: Oh, veggie singer fit!

[24:50] Lillian Castillo: Oh, I'm so happy.

[24:51] Lillian Castillo: I don't think I could eat any meat after our lunch this afternoon.

[24:55] Unknown speaker: Once you all have your food, you notice that the sun has set, and a number of large blazing campfires draw your attention.

[25:02] Unknown speaker: At one, General Alvar appears to be having a heated conversation with his colonel and a small group of majors.

[25:08] Unknown speaker: At another, a group of lieutenants and captains listen to one another quite seriously.

[25:12] Unknown speaker: And at a third, straggling privates and a few sergeants await the line thinning out in order to get their food.

[25:18] Lillian Castillo: Jokasta's gonna pick this third campfire, and she's going to put her food down in front of her and be like, if y'all want to pick from my plate while you're waiting to go, you can go ahead and pick.

[25:29] Unknown speaker: Several ravenous privates uh lunge towards your plate and they eat off of it as several more run to get in line.

[25:36] Unknown speaker: And I think I should play some mood music.

[25:38] Lillian Castillo: And she pulls out her little mandolin.

[25:40] Unknown speaker: A young private says, I'm surprised you're not playing rock music, Adenian.

[25:44] Unknown speaker: Almost sounds like folk.

[25:45] Unknown speaker: The music of our people.

[25:46] Unknown speaker: What's the second uh bombfire?

[25:48] Unknown speaker: A bunch of lieutenants and captains, higher ranking officers.

[25:51] Unknown speaker: Are they hot?

[25:52] Unknown speaker: Uh some of them.

[25:53] Unknown speaker: They're a little older.

[25:54] Unknown speaker: Oh.

[25:55] Lillian Castillo: The younger soldiers are where Joe Costa is.

[25:59] Unknown speaker: I'll go there.

[26:00] Unknown speaker: You join Joe Costa and see these soldiers just scarfing down their food.

[26:04] Unknown speaker: Mm-hmm.

[26:05] Unknown speaker: I'm gonna go to the first fire.

[26:07] Unknown speaker: So I'm gonna go over to the general and his colonel, and I'm just gonna sit down.

[26:10] Unknown speaker: As you approach the campfire, you hear the end of a tirade from Alvar to his officers.

[26:16] Unknown speaker: I don't care if he was banished.

[26:18] Unknown speaker: He could be the very thing we need to de-escalate tensions in Redfear, and I'll be damned if we don't let him try.

[26:24] Unknown speaker: Now the officers have all clocked Roscoe's arrival and stare uncomfortably at you, Rosco, waiting for the general to notice.

[26:31] Unknown speaker: No, no, no, don't mind me.

[26:32] Unknown speaker: This is my normal meditation hour.

[26:34] Unknown speaker: I'm just gonna sit here and meditate.

[26:36] Unknown speaker: Oh, please, please join us.

[26:38] Unknown speaker: I believe my men were just getting ready to fill their plates.

[26:41] Unknown speaker: And the colonel and the major slowly get up and silently leave, staring at Yorasco to join the buffet line.

[26:48] Unknown speaker: Okay.

[26:48] Unknown speaker: Sit down, my friend.

[26:50] Unknown speaker: Tell me, where where is Edgarnon?

[26:52] Unknown speaker: Oh, you know, he usually turns in pretty early.

[26:55] Unknown speaker: Edgar is um sort of hiding behind a tree, just kind of, you know, camping out, making himself scarce.

[27:01] Unknown speaker: I I'd love a word before daybreak.

[27:04] Unknown speaker: Yes, hello.

[27:05] Unknown speaker: Edgaron?

[27:06] Unknown speaker: I'm behind the tree.

[27:07] Unknown speaker: He's wandering through the dark away from the campfire.

[27:10] Unknown speaker: Would you join us, my friend?

[27:12] Unknown speaker: Yeah, he just wants to talk.

[27:13] Unknown speaker: Yes, I suppose.

[27:14] Unknown speaker: As you come out from behind the tree, you see Herman has joined Roscoe at the campfire just before you enter the light.

[27:20] Unknown speaker: General Alvar rushes to you and embraces you.

[27:23] Unknown speaker: My friend, I was so worried.

[27:25] Unknown speaker: I thought I had never see you again.

[27:27] Unknown speaker: I've been alright these past millennia.

[27:29] Unknown speaker: Pull it together, Alvar, pull it together.

[27:32] Unknown speaker: Meanwhile, over at Yocasta and Pugface's campfire, a young private is now noodling on his lute.

[27:39] Unknown speaker: He says.

[27:45] Unknown speaker: So brutish and selfish.

[27:47] Unknown speaker: Your people are so consumed with self that you worship it as a god.

[27:52] Unknown speaker: Do you hear the sweet tones of these nodes strung together?

[27:56] Unknown speaker: No vulgar song of a Dania, you can't be sure.

[28:01] Unknown speaker: Your false god of self and the rock and roll you worship shows you a nation of brutes, bastards and boars.

[28:12] Unknown speaker: Do you hear all these melodies hanging on the breeze?

[28:16] Unknown speaker: Hear our voices melding in tune.

[28:21] Unknown speaker: This is the sound of the elf wood trees, dappled in the bright light of the moon.

[28:30] Unknown speaker: Folk music can make the gods themselves swoon.

[28:35] Unknown speaker: This is the music of car.

[28:40] ♪ Musical number: "Folk Rock" — performed by the Beat Sovereigns ♪

[36:00] Edgar Hawk: You ride forth. You enter the city and you come upon two young elves with Mohawks brandishing green bottles and squaring off against six Red Fear Rangers.

[36:08] Edgar Hawk: The Car Qatar and City Watch. Two more young elves shred on their lutes upon a nearby roof where you can see magical yellow bolts shooting out from their instruments, giving them an electric sound.

[36:20] Edgar Hawk: The two elves throw their green bottles at the rangers, which explode into quick fire. The rangers reel back as the elves escape down an alleyway.

[36:28] Edgar Hawk: Alright, I've got this, everyone. People of Red Fear, it is I, Edgar Hawke. Come to save Kakatara. Throw down your weapons of war and make music, my friends.

[36:46] Edgar Hawk: As you say this, Edgar, you see many, many more Red Fear Rangers, and many, many of these Mohawk revolutionaries enter the streets. Roughly 200 people at your attention.

[36:58] Edgar Hawk: Alright, let's do this. Thank you for coming. We are the Beat Sovereigns. And we have our song here to play for you.

[37:08] Edgar Hawk: We call it what do we call it?

[37:10] Edgar Hawk: The folk of rock.

[37:11] Edgar Hawk: The Rangers prepare for the worst, as do the rebels. And you could see like tension mounting as they both fear the thing they do not understand.

[37:29] Edgar Hawk: The elves once had a haven safe from fear and greed and strife. In song they found their comfort, saw the meaning of life.

[37:39] Edgar Hawk: Nothing could match that sweet folk music. Here the harmony ringing in the end.

[37:48] Edgar Hawk: But soon the children of this land heard a sound from far away. And there was nothing they could do. Rock was here to stay with everybody choosing sides, and no one to heal that divine.

[38:07] Edgar Hawk: Hey, we are the folk rock. Can we come to rock you folk? You just tip a little top and you add a little fucking ball.

[38:17] Edgar Hawk: If you never take you over, you're bound to soon discover that there's one thing left to do. Take a little bit of this and a little bit of that answer.

[38:26] Edgar Hawk: You got something to in this brother, there isn't time for animosity. Let's exchange some folk for rock in reciprocity.

[38:41] Edgar Hawk: Everybody's gonna get together love and let music lead the way.

[39:00] Edgar Hawk: Hey, we are the folk rock and we've come to rock you folk. You just take a little talk and you add a little fuck in the volume lobby you give me a book.

[39:10] Edgar Hawk: If you let it take you away about it, soon discover that there's one thing we have to do. Take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and soon.

[39:18] Edgar Hawk: You got something new.

[39:29] Edgar Hawk: Hey, we're the folk rock, and we come to rock you folk. You just take a little talk and you add a little fuck in the volume lobby, and folk.

[39:43] Edgar Hawk: Take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and soon. You got something new.

[39:53] Edgar Hawk: Y'all play the most incredible folk rock hybrid. The rangers and revolutionaries stare at you, at first unable to comprehend what they're listening to.

[40:03] Edgar Hawk: Then as they look to one another to seek to understand, they jointly yell, HEL yeah! And a veritable party erupts in the streets as the two sides lay down their weapons.

[40:14] Sheriff of the Red Fear Rangers: Damn, that was bloody brilliant. What do you call that?

[40:22] Edgar Hawk: We call that folk rock.

[40:25] Sheriff of the Red Fear Rangers: Folk? Rock by word. I've never had anything like it. Well, tell me, my friends, what is it you wish? You have resolved this horrible revolution. I will give you anything that is in my power.

[40:39] Edgar Hawk: We wish to see the queen.

[40:41] Sheriff of the Red Fear Rangers: Yes. Come. I shall guide you to her majesty.

[40:45] Edgar Hawk: And you proceed to follow the sheriff to the Elven Keep as the elves continue to dance in the street.

[40:51] Edgar Hawk: Everyone high-fives you as you pass. And that's where we will end our episode.

[40:56] All: Yes.

[40:57] All: Thank you.

[40:59] All: Thank you very much.

[41:00] All: Jesus.

[41:11] Michael Darty: Tune in on Monday, August 23rd for episode three, The Gods of Old. And don't forget to rate, comment, and subscribe.

[41:18] Michael Darty: Mythic Thunderlute was created by Jake Blauck, Michael Darty, and Steve Goodalunus. Jake Blauck serves as our song composer, guitarist, and the voice of Edgar Hawk. He did the sound effects for this episode.

[41:27] Lillian Castillo: I am Lillian Castillo, the voice of Jocasta Stormwood.

[41:32] Michael Darty: I'm Michael Darty, the editor and head writer, aka the game maker. I wrote additional lyrics and harmonies for this episode.

[41:40] Steve Goodalunas: Steve Goodalunas is our drummer and the voice of Roscoe Chubb.

[41:43] Leigha Cotto: Leigha Cotto is the voice of Pugface Doodleop.

[41:46] Michael Darty: Dan Kazimi did the underscoring, arranging, mixing, mastering synth, and keyboard. Alex Kuiper is our co-producer and chief story editor.

[41:54] Michael Darty: The drums are mixed and tracked by Tyler Blanchard at Goodcat Productions. Our production manager is Molly Foy. Social media assistance from Sarah Royds.

[42:03] Michael Darty: Marketing consultation from Judd Mellinger Blauck, imaging by Lee Cortapassi and Daniel Kantz, web design by Campbell O'Hare. And thanks to our first five Patreon supporters, Meg McCormick, Joshua Grubb, Greg Nicks, Mike Hahn, and F. Mark Salo.

[42:18] Michael Darty: Join us on Patreon to get an early glimpse of our next episode. Or find us on Bandcamp. We'll catch you next time on Mythic Thunderlute.

[42:30] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, show 'em how we folk.

[42:33] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, show these guys how hard we folk.

[42:36] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, show 'em how hard we can folk.

[42:42] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, folk these guys up.

[42:42] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, folk these guys in the ass.

[42:45] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, show these guys they shouldn't folk with us.

[42:48] Unknown speaker: Private Kunzler, show 'em we're not folking around.