This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Steve Goodalunas: Mythic Thunderlute is brought to you with support from 11th Hour Theater Company, Philadelphia's only all musical theater company.

[0:06] Jake Blauck: Visit 11thhour Theater Company.org for more information.

[0:10] Lillian Castillo: If you'd like to support Mythic Thunderlute, join our Patreon by going to patreon.com slash Mythic Thunderlute.

[0:16] Michael D'Arty: With that, here's episode three.

[0:22] Leigha Cato: Mythic Thunder.

[0:36] Steve Goodalunas: Welcome to Mythic Thunderlute, a D&D podcast musical.

[0:40] Steve Goodalunas: I'm Steve Goodalunas.

[0:42] Jake Blauck: I'm Jake Blauck.

[0:43] Lillian Castillo: I'm Lillian Castillo.

[0:44] Michael D'Arty: I'm Michael D'Arty.

[0:45] Leigha Cato: And I'm Leigha Cato.

[0:46] All: And we are Mythic Thunderlute.

[0:49] Steve Goodalunas: Better believe it.

[0:51] Jake Blauck: Yewes, use, it's the third episode, you.

[0:54] Lillian Castillo: How's everybody feeling?

[0:56] Michael D'Arty: How's this doing?

[0:57] Leigha Cato: Oh my gosh, you guys.

[0:58] Lillian Castillo: I mean I'm super excited to be doing this, but I'm roasting too.

[1:02] Steve Goodalunas: Oh my.

[1:03] Jake Blauck: I was gonna say, I would say I have chills, but I know people are literally melting in their closets right now.

[1:09] Michael D'Arty: Yeah, there's no chills.

[1:10] Leigha Cato: I know that our Patreon people will get to actually see video of this, and if they can, they can see how red my little cheeks are.

[1:16] Steve Goodalunas: You're glowing.

[1:18] Leigha Cato: Yes, let's blame it on the pregnancy.

[1:20] Michael D'Arty: I mean, to be completely honest, for those who give us the big bucks on Patreon, I could just have a crotch camera, and you would realize that I'm just in underwear right now.

[1:29] Jake Blauck: Oh my god.

[1:30] Lillian Castillo: I just got an email. We just got sued by Patreon.

[1:36] Michael D'Arty: I think with that, friends, yeah, I think we should hand it over to our game maker, Michael D'Arty.

[1:41] Jake Blauck: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:42] Michael D'Arty: Thank you.

[1:43] Michael D'Arty: Today on the pod we have special guest Jaye Ladymore, who listeners may have seen on The Shy, Empire, and Chicago PD.

[1:51] Michael D'Arty: She'll be playing Claudette on the new CW series 4400, premiering October 25th.

[1:57] Michael D'Arty: And we couldn't be more stoked for her.

[1:59] Michael D'Arty: Jaye, welcome to the pod.

[2:00] Jaye Ladymore: Hello, it's so exciting to be here.

[2:03] Michael D'Arty: Now, from what I've read, it sounds like a really incredible premise. What can you tell us about 4400?

[2:08] Jaye Ladymore: So the show is about this group of marginalized people, and you guessed it.

[2:12] Jaye Ladymore: How many? 4400.

[2:14] Michael D'Arty: Aha.

[2:14] Jaye Ladymore: And these folks get teleported to the future into 2021.

[2:19] Jaye Ladymore: So everyone is from a time period of the past. My character, Claudette, is from the 50s.

[2:24] Jaye Ladymore: And so we're all trying to figure out what happened to us and why we got blipped to the future.

[2:28] Michael D'Arty: Wow, well, that sounds poignant and amazing. Jaye, thank you so much for being here.

[2:33] Michael D'Arty: Friends, be sure to tune in to 4400 on the CW this fall. In the meantime, I'm gonna explain how this works.

[2:40] Michael D'Arty: Here's the deal. Our four players will improvise their way through a fantasy style role-playing game of my making.

[2:47] Michael D'Arty: After we record, we add sound effects, underscoring, full-fledged musical numbers, and special guest voices.

[2:55] All: Hello.

[2:55] Michael D'Arty: And boom, there you have an episode. Sound good?

[2:57] All: Yes!

[2:58] Michael D'Arty: I mean, yeah.

[3:00] Jake Blauck: Great. I think any one of us is gonna be like, no, I that's not really what I'm saying.

[3:05] Lillian Castillo: I'm waiting for the week.

[3:06] Michael D'Arty: If it ever happens, I've decided the contingency is we just call off the record.

[3:10] Lillian Castillo: Let's play Parchey instead.

[3:13] Michael D'Arty: We do Parchey for that episode and then resume the following week.

[3:16] Jake Blauck: Amazing. It's a wholesome family game.

[3:18] Michael D'Arty: Great! Then let's play Mythic Thunderlute!

[3:30] Michael D'Arty: Previously on Mythic Thunderlute.

[3:33] Michael D'Arty: After awakening the elven god Maris and unwittingly convincing him to destroy their society, Pugface, Edgar Jocasta, and Roscoe struggle to quell the fears of bystanders.

[3:42] Michael D'Arty: When their new monk companion Herman ushers them into a nearby restaurant, he explains that Zodindra, head of the Elven Pantheon, may be able to intervene.

[3:50] Michael D'Arty: After Herman shares that Zodindra's sanctuary lies in Red Fear, capital of Karkatara, Edgar is forced to reveal that he has been banished from the Elf Nation since abdicating the throne centuries ago.

[4:01] Michael D'Arty: The group disguises Edgar as King Cyrus of Adenia and uses his authority to send away the King's Guard, gain access to Karkatara, and request military escort to Red Fear by the Elven army.

[4:12] Michael D'Arty: A slip of the tongue outs Edgar as the fallen prince, but the kind General Alvar agrees to help them anyway.

[4:17] Michael D'Arty: The commander explains that the banning of rock music in Red Fear has led to the point of near revolution, making the Queen's permission to access the sanctuary difficult to obtain.

[4:26] Michael D'Arty: The next morning, the group enters Red Fear and invents Folk Rock, which unites the city, and the five sum is escorted toward the Elven Keep.

[4:33] Michael D'Arty: All of the day's work. As you make your way toward the keep, guided by the local sheriff, the cheers keep on coming from rock rebels and Red Fear Rangers alike.

[4:46] Jake Blauck: Okay, there is guys.

[4:50] Michael D'Arty: Before long, you reach the imposing front doors of the castle. You can hitch up your horses just beside the castle stair.

[4:59] Lillian Castillo: Alright, thank you.

[5:01] Michael D'Arty: As you do, the sheriff knocks forcefully on the castle doors.

[5:07] Michael D'Arty: Within, you hear voices shout, the rebels are at our door!

[5:11] Michael D'Arty: Secure the barricade!

[5:23] Jake Blauck: It's Sheriff Gutendale of the Red Fear Ragers.

[5:23] Michael D'Arty: Sorry, they don't know the bloody revolution's over.

[5:22] Jaye Ladymore: Who is it?

[5:23] Michael D'Arty: It's Sheriff Gutendale of the Bloomin' City Watch Gods above.

[5:28] Michael D'Arty: You hear the sound of objects being moved around inside.

[5:31] Michael D'Arty: Sorry, it seems they need to clear away to barricade.

[5:35] Jaye Ladymore: Oh.

[5:36] Jaye Ladymore: So, um, where are you lot from?

[5:38] Lillian Castillo: Uh, Tallyshire.

[5:39] Jake Blauck: Tally Shire.

[5:40] Lillian Castillo: South Tally Shire.

[5:41] Jaye Ladymore: Yes, we're all from South Talia Shire.

[5:42] Jaye Ladymore: My wife and I, uh, we we took a honeymoon in North Talia Shire.

[5:47] Michael D'Arty: Actually, did you?

[5:48] Jaye Ladymore: Yeah, did you have a good time?

[5:50] Jaye Ladymore: People are very nice, I think.

[5:51] Michael D'Arty: Oh, that's what they all say.

[5:53] Michael D'Arty: Suddenly, a small panel in the door flies open, and a mustachioed elf's face pops through.

[5:58] Mustachioed Elf: No one gets in to see the queen, not until peace has been restored to the land.

[6:02] Jaye Ladymore: Oh.

[6:03] Jaye Ladymore: Uh but didn't we restore peace?

[6:05] Jaye Ladymore: We we just did.

[6:07] Mustachioed Elf: What?

[6:07] Mustachioed Elf: And he takes in the sort of celebration in the streets behind you.

[6:12] Mustachioed Elf: Well, that's right. These five heroes of a tedia are derased why.

[6:17] Mustachioed Elf: The guardian elf calls within peace has been restored to the land, peace has been restored to the land, peace has been restored to the land, peace has been restored to the land.

[6:26] Michael D'Arty: As the doors slowly open, the elven guards within launch into song.

[7:15] ♪ Musical number: "Peace Has Been Restored" — performed by Elven Guards ♪

[7:16] Michael D'Arty: Yes, Jocasta.

[7:48] Jaye Ladymore: Yes, they do.

[7:49] Jaye Ladymore: This is bloody brilliant. Can I have a try?

[7:52] Michael D'Arty: Why not?

[7:53] Jaye Ladymore: Love it.

[7:54] Jaye Ladymore: Well, where'd I spec you?

[7:56] Jaye Ladymore: You know I could bet you. Could find a way to see peace was restored.

[8:00] Jaye Ladymore: With rock music forbidden, and your talent did. You bade folk, dead peace was restored.

[8:06] Jaye Ladymore: To the land, no peace has been restored to the land.

[8:10] Jaye Ladymore: And by a new indeedy band.

[8:13] Jaye Ladymore: If they carried on, we surely get can but now we're here to save.

[8:19] Jaye Ladymore: So now we'll get you back for the queen.

[8:22] Jaye Ladymore: We'll throw you up and make you look lean.

[8:26] Jaye Ladymore: And if she happens to say something in fuck her.

[8:33] Jaye Ladymore: You know, Pugface. I never actually been bathed by another person before.

[8:37] Jaye Ladymore: Or really bathed myself for that matter.

[8:40] Jaye Ladymore: You know what? I feel weird for sure, but also it's kinda nice to be pampered.

[8:47] Jaye Ladymore: And so good heroes.

[8:50] Jaye Ladymore: Once you have to rise.

[8:53] Jaye Ladymore: I will escort you, beaming with pride.

[8:58] Jaye Ladymore: For now we have no reason to hide.

[9:04] Jaye Ladymore: All peace has been so glad that peace has been restored.

[9:16] All: Yes!

[9:19] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, that was so good.

[9:22] Michael D'Arty: I loved it.

[9:23] Jake Blauck: That's good.

[9:25] Lillian Castillo: Yeah, this was good.

[9:25] Michael D'Arty: As soon as your awkward applause break ends, the guards hop back to work and close the door behind you.

[9:33] Mustachioed Elf: So the heroes wish to see the queen.

[9:35] All: Yes, yes, please.

[9:37] Jaye Ladymore: Yep, please.

[9:38] Mustachioed Elf: Very good. Do follow me.

[9:39] Mustachioed Elf: And he proceeds to step ball change his way down a hallway to your left.

[9:45] Edgar: When in Red Fear, do as the red freeze, I guess.

[9:45] Edgar: shuffles off following him, doing the same kickball change stuff.

[9:53] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, great.

[9:54] Lillian Castillo: Lovely.

[9:54] Michael D'Arty: And Jocasta starts trying to kickball change after him.

[9:57] Jocasta: Kick step back. Kick step back step. Kick step back step.

[10:01] Jaye Ladymore: I do not attempt this.

[10:02] Michael D'Arty: As you follow the guard, Sheriff Gutendale calls after you.

[10:06] Sheriff Gutendale: Good luck, you lot. And if there's anything you ever need from me, I beg of you do not hesitate to reach out.

[10:13] Edgar: We shall bless you, my good man.

[10:15] Jaye Ladymore: Thanks, Sheriff.

[10:15] Sheriff Gutendale: I'm serious. I really don't have much going on. And I love an excuse to get out and see people I love.

[10:24] Michael D'Arty: You continue to follow this guard after a few sudden turns in the labyrinthian halls. You arrive at a set of ornately decorated doors, which Edgar recognizes as the entrance to the throne room.

[10:35] Mustachioed Elf: Wait here!

[10:37] Mustachioed Elf: And the mustachioed guard walks up a small staircase and enters the throne room, closing the door behind him.

[10:43] Edgar: I'm going to be sick.

[10:44] Edgar: I'm going to be sick.

[10:45] Herman: Oh my god. Herman the monk asks Edgar, my friend, what is your chief concern right now?

[10:51] Edgar: Um, you don't really come into the presence of a queen every day.

[10:56] Herman: What in the what is happening here?

[10:58] Edgar: Your sister, your little sister, yes.

[11:01] Herman: I think he's having a panic attack.

[11:03] Lillian Castillo: No, I put Sam having a You need to breathe, but you have over your head.

[11:10] Michael D'Arty: Yes, put your arms up over your head in deep breathing.

[11:13] Lillian Castillo: There you go.

[11:14] Edgar: I'm a special boy, and I can do it.

[11:18] Michael D'Arty: Suddenly the guard re-enters the holding chamber and says, Come, the queen will see you now, and holds one of the doors open for you.

[11:25] Jaye Ladymore: Do you want one of us to lead the way?

[11:27] Edgar: Edgar goes first.

[11:28] Jaye Ladymore: You want me to walk in?

[11:29] Edgar: Yes, Roscoe. Go, go, go.

[11:30] Roscoe: Okay, Roscoe leads you into the throne room.

[11:33] Michael D'Arty: As soon as you enter, you see Queen Kistani standing about 30 feet before you.

[11:39] Michael D'Arty: A lavishly dressed matriarch and an elf nearly as old as Edgar.

[11:43] Michael D'Arty: Guards with spears line the walls as well as the massive staircase that leads up to the queen.

[11:49] Michael D'Arty: Behind Kistani sits her overembellished throne and two femme elves, one a bit younger, the other much younger, both bearing a striking familial resemblance to Kistani.

[12:01] Michael D'Arty: You stand in the presence of her Majesty Kistani the enduring of the House Quandalani, Festifanine, Queen of the Elves, Protector of the Realm Karkatara, and Vanquisher of Rock.

[12:13] Queen Kistani: My dear brother, I understand I have you to thank for ending the uprising in our streets, which is good because I fail to understand how it is you're still alive.

[12:25] Edgar: A bit of trickery, my dear bit of trickery.

[12:28] Jocasta: Oh, well, do tell, dear brother.

[12:31] Edgar: You have my friends and I to thank for folk rock.

[12:35] Jocasta: So I hear.

[12:36] Edgar: I love family drama.

[12:38] Jocasta: Well, do explain first, dear brother, why it was you weren't killed instantly upon entering our border.

[12:45] Edgar: Perhaps because her Majesty's army does not serve her majesty the way she wishes.

[12:51] Jocasta: Insubordination?

[12:52] Edgar: Or maybe, maybe, maybe it wasn't insubordination that could possibly get a number of people killed.

[13:00] Jocasta: It could also be because he did not look like himself when we came in here.

[13:04] Edgar: Right, right.

[13:07] Jocasta: I should have known.

[13:09] Edgar: You always did have the tendencies of a cowardly wolf.

[13:13] Jocasta: And your army was fool enough to believe it.

[13:16] Edgar: I see.

[13:17] Jocasta: She snaps her fingers, and eight guards standing in front of you train their spears at Edgar's neck.

[13:24] Jocasta: And now then, can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you now?

[13:28] Edgar: Uh, yeah, hey, hi. We just saved your kingdom.

[13:30] All: Yeah.

[13:31] Edgar: Folk rock.

[13:32] Jocasta: The song was clever.

[13:34] Jocasta: She snaps her fingers, and the eight guards return to their positions.

[13:38] Edgar: You're welcome. Tell me what it is you all want.

[13:41] Lillian Castillo: I'm gonna go ahead and speak because I feel like every time Edgar opens his mouth, he almost kills somebody.

[13:46] Michael D'Arty: So I couldn't agree more.

[13:48] Lillian Castillo: The situation is um we are in need of going to Zodindra's temple and communing with the god.

[13:56] Jocasta: Why on earth would you Adenians need to worship before the Elven Pantheon?

[14:00] Edgar: Well, are there better gods than the Elven Pantheon?

[14:04] Jocasta: I don't think so.

[14:07] Edgar: I see your point there.

[14:09] Jocasta: If I grant you access to the sanctuary and spare my brother's life, you all must swear never to return here ever again.

[14:18] Lillian Castillo: With Claire all of us?

[14:20] Jocasta: Well, if it were thought that the fallen prince and his cohorts had somehow been pardoned, there would be a military coup.

[14:27] Edgar: We can't have that.

[14:28] Lillian Castillo: Third time the sentry.

[14:29] Edgar: But like, you know, what if mm Pugface or Roscoe needs a vacation here?

[14:34] Jocasta: You bear an association. The only way I will grant you access is if you swear to never return.

[14:41] Edgar: You know what? I that's fine. That's just fine. You know, I don't like going places where I'm not wanted anyway, you know?

[14:47] Jocasta: So should any of you ever return to Car Katara, I promise you a swift but brutal death.

[14:56] Edgar: The food's better in Idenia anyway.

[14:58] Lillian Castillo: You gotta stop, Edgar.

[14:59] Edgar: Have fun boiling carrots.

[15:02] Jocasta: My hand Giselda will show you the way.

[15:04] Edgar: Non, I do believe you've met.

[15:08] Jaye Ladymore: A guard in the far left corner of the room unlocks a door, and through it steps Giselda Glass, the Queen's hand, and Edgar's formerly betrothed.

[15:18] Giselda: Hello, Edgar Non. Or should I say Edgar?

[15:22] Edgar: I gotta tell you. That is cold.

[15:24] Jaye Ladymore: Your sister is cold.

[15:29] Edgar: I couldn't agree more.

[15:30] Jaye Ladymore: Giselda kind of beckons for you all to follow and exits back out the door as Castani retires to her throne.

[15:36] Edgar: As much as I love to watch Giselda walk away, I'm going to follow her.

[15:40] Lillian Castillo: So uh would you all join me?

[15:42] Michael D'Arty: Fine.

[15:42] Lillian Castillo: Okay. Is can someone in this castle bring me a snack?

[15:46] Edgar: Oh, you're hungry, huh? But there should be someone feeding a grapes and founding you right now.

[15:49] Lillian Castillo: I'm not quite sure why.

[15:51] Edgar: That sounds delightful.

[15:52] Jocasta: All of the guards and Castani stare coldly at you, waiting for you to leave the throne room.

[15:57] Lillian Castillo: Uh all right, so no snacks.

[15:59] Edgar: I don't think so, but we can take a hit.

[16:01] Jaye Ladymore: As soon as you walk through the door, Giselda closes it behind you.

[16:05] Edgar: I'm impressed. When I'd heard that you'd entered the car, Shalton, I assumed there'd be a bloodbath in the throne room, but here you stay in.

[16:15] Jaye Ladymore: Castani, am I right?

[16:16] Edgar: Hmm.

[16:17] Jaye Ladymore: Well, come along. We can uh talk while we walk.

[16:20] Edgar: I would like that very much, Giselda.

[16:22] Edgar: And Edgar offers his arm.

[16:24] Jaye Ladymore: Oh god.

[16:25] Jaye Ladymore: She takes Edgar's arm and proceeds to guide you down the hallways.

[16:29] Jaye Ladymore: Edgar Nan, I have to tell you, and all of your sweet little friends here. Being left at the altar by you was the best thing that could have happened to me.

[16:37] Edgar: Oh shit.

[16:38] Michael D'Arty: Not only is your sister cold, but your ex is cold, too.

[16:45] Jaye Ladymore: We're elves. We're cold. You have to understand. I was nineteen years old and about to give my life away to a boy I hardly knew.

[16:54] Jaye Ladymore: But since then, girls, I have been liberated.

[16:59] Edgar: Yeah?

[16:59] Jaye Ladymore: Sexually.

[17:01] Edgar: Oh my.

[17:03] Jaye Ladymore: Well, let me put it like this. Edgar, Edgar, you left uh 1400 years ago.

[17:08] Edgar: Yes.

[17:08] Jaye Ladymore: That's how many elves I slept with within the first two centuries you were gone.

[17:13] Edgar: Oh my god.

[17:15] Michael D'Arty: You know, they are a cold people, but they also overshare.

[17:19] Jaye Ladymore: Yes.

[17:19] Jaye Ladymore: I suppose we do. Well, now that you mention it, let's see. There was uh Gowan Greystone, Edgar's little soldier friend. You remember him.

[17:27] Edgar: Oh friend.

[17:28] Jaye Ladymore: Coldric the wise, our learned elder. He taught me some things.

[17:32] Edgar: Could you?

[17:33] Jaye Ladymore: Oh my god. The kind lady Blackwell.

[17:36] Edgar: Oh.

[17:36] Jaye Ladymore: Well, not the one you know, her daughter.

[17:38] Edgar: Oh wow.

[17:39] Jaye Ladymore: Yes. I taught her some things.

[17:42] Edgar: I mean, good for you.

[17:44] Jaye Ladymore: You sew your old here.

[17:46] Jaye Ladymore: We are, and you find yourselves at a large stone door with words carved in old Elvish, which Edgar can translate as the sanctuary of the gods.

[17:56] Jaye Ladymore: Giselda says, Meetal Kar Sagan Kistani we reiner.

[18:02] Jaye Ladymore: And with that, the stones of the door shift and part in the middle, and with a golden shimmer magically slide open.

[18:09] Jaye Ladymore: Come on in. Try not to leave your jaws on the floor.

[18:13] Edgar: I I love her.

[18:15] Lillian Castillo: I she's so fucking cool.

[18:17] Michael D'Arty: Right. This is pretty cool, right? She's awesome.

[18:21] Lillian Castillo: She's so self-assured.

[18:23] Michael D'Arty: God Herman, I keep forgetting you're here, but you enter a large brass dome with a great glass ceiling that the sun shines through.

[18:30] Edgar: It's a little after midday. A thin stone lectern juts out of the floor in the center of the room, and twelve large circles are carved into the floor, which line the circular wall.

[18:40] Jaye Ladymore: So tell me, have any of y'all ever summoned a god before?

[18:45] All: Yep, unfortunately, yes, we all have.

[18:45] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, not the answer I was expecting.

[18:50] Jaye Ladymore: Well, approach the lectern and make your sacrifice. You know how to do it.

[18:54] Jaye Ladymore: And she proceeds to leave the sanctuary, causing the enormous stone doors to slide shut once more.

[19:01] Edgar: Alright, well, who what are we sacrificing?

[19:03] Lillian Castillo: Well, last time we did a song, so But this time the gods have put Herman here for a very specific reason.

[19:10] Herman: Oh my god. Please wait, wait, come on. No, we're not doing that. That's dark.

[19:15] Edgar: I'm sorry, Herman, that I tried to sacrifice you to the gods of Dintra.

[19:21] Herman: I completely understand.

[19:22] Edgar: Now do it again.

[19:23] Lillian Castillo: Alright. So the sacrifice we have is music. And you have said multiple times that we are a band.

[19:32] All: Yeah.

[19:32] Lillian Castillo: And I feel that that is what we have to give to the world.

[19:36] Edgar: Yes, but wait, I a cappella.

[19:38] Lillian Castillo: Acapella.

[19:39] Edgar: We can just sing a cappella.

[19:40] Lillian Castillo: Oh, four-part harmony.

[19:41] Edgar: Maybe perhaps I can beat box for you.

[19:46] Lillian Castillo: Oh no, no, no, no, no. Do not do that. Herman, if you do that again, but face give me the dagger.

[19:52] Edgar: We will let him sacrifice you.

[19:53] Lillian Castillo: Vow of silence from here on out.

[19:55] Edgar: Thank you.

[19:56] Lillian Castillo: Alright. So maybe Acapella, four-part harmony, something?

[20:00] Edgar: That sounds great.

[20:01] Lillian Castillo: I would love. I would love to do that. Somebody pick a note.

[20:15] Edgar: Oh my god.

[20:18] Lillian Castillo: Oh, I'm lightheaded.

[20:20] Lillian Castillo: Everyone give me a performance check on this a cappella.

[20:26] Edgar: Hold on.

[20:27] Lillian Castillo: Natural 20!

[20:29] Edgar: Oh my god.

[20:30] Lillian Castillo: Yes. I got a 22 for Roscoe.

[20:33] Edgar: Great.

[20:33] Lillian Castillo: Oh god, uh I've a 25.

[20:36] Edgar: Oh my god.

[20:37] Lillian Castillo: Oh, a non-nat 20, I think.

[20:41] All: Yes!

[20:41] Lillian Castillo: Okay, you all sing brilliantly. You are so in tune with each other that you create the perfect street corner a cappella song.

[20:52] All: So Dintra, if you think you got it in here. Shine a light on me. Can't you say that we're in trouble? And soon it will be double. If you don't hear my salmon, please. Whoa, whoa, whoa, so dintra. I just need a little favor. Humanity's in trouble, and I really wanna save her so whoop, Zodra, won't you come on down? Cause you're the only hope of now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Zodindra, if you think you got it in here. Would you please calm down and take our cares away? Oh God of all, I know we're mortally small. But you know we're in a bad way. Hey So Dindra, I wouldn't ask. If I thought we were equal to the task. I know they were asking might sound odd, but this is really a job for my God. So Dindra, if you think you got it in there, would you please calm down, shine your light on me? Oh God of all, I know we're mortally small, but can't you see we're in a bad way? So won't you come down today?

[22:10] Jaye Ladymore: A column of golden light shoots out of the circle directly in front of the lectern. There is a blinding flash, and then before you you see the benevolent, shimmering face of the golden god known as Zodindra. You can feel his power radiating.

[22:26] Zodindra: I am Zodindra, God of all.

[22:30] Zodindra: Ah, yes. The disciples of Mares have made a pilgrimage.

[22:35] Edgar: Uh, are we disciples of Morris?

[22:38] Zodindra: Uh yes.

[22:39] Zodindra: Hello, Zodindra.

[22:41] Zodindra: Hello. Do not be alarmed, my friends, for I know.

[22:45] Edgar: Oh.

[22:46] Zodindra: Oh, then you know that we really, really, really did not mean to set Maris on the particular path he has chosen.

[22:55] Zodindra: Correct. Indeed. But I'm afraid, my friends, that when Maris brought the decay of Stormwood to our attention, we did deem it a harbinger of worse things to come.

[23:06] Edgar: Okay, but like, is it necessary to like, you know, lay waste to the people of our country?

[23:13] Lillian Castillo: Yeah, that doesn't seem necessary.

[23:15] Zodindra: Our decision was to press forward with the extinction of your people, but if you'd like to make your case, you may do so before my fellow gods.

[23:24] Edgar: We would like to do that.

[23:25] Lillian Castillo: Yeah, we would definitely like to do that.

[23:27] Zodindra: Very well. When can we schedule that?

[23:29] Zodindra: Now I shall summon the twelve, or as you Adenians call us, the gods of old.

[23:36] Edgar: I would never call you that.

[23:38] Edgar: Just saying.

[23:39] Zodindra: And with a flick of his wrists. The other eleven circles become pillars of light, each one a different color. From them emerge eleven different gods, all with glimmering luminescent skin, the same color as the shaft of light from which they came.

[23:46] Zodindra: I shall introduce each one as they appear. Up first, the newly reinstated red god Maris, Lord of Agriculture and War.

[24:03] Maris: Hey! Danians! Good news about Stormwood, huh?

[24:08] Edgar: No debatable.

[24:11] Maris: Whoa! A thank you would be nice.

[24:14] Zodindra: Next, the green god Gaiadus, Lord of Land and Nature.

[24:19] Gaiadus: Greetings. I believe you've met my daughter, Daphne.

[24:24] Edgar: Yes, Daphne's in a bad way.

[24:27] Gaiadus: Yes. What a pill.

[24:29] Zodindra: The Silver god, Athamon, Lord of Wisdom and Insight.

[24:34] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, look at them.

[24:35] Edgar: How could you want to destroy them?

[24:38] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, I like this here, like him.

[24:39] Edgar: This one definitely gets it.

[24:41] Jaye Ladymore: The White God, four tier, Lord of Fortune and chance.

[24:45] Edgar: Hey!

[24:46] Jaye Ladymore: Any chance you guys are terrified right now?

[24:51] Edgar: It's good. I mean that all feels great, good times.

[24:54] Jaye Ladymore: The gray god, Morthal, Lord of Death and the Afterlife.

[24:59] Edgar: We'll get to know each other.

[25:02] Jaye Ladymore: Eventually.

[25:03] Edgar: Oh, any time anybody whispers it's not gonna work.

[25:06] Jaye Ladymore: The blue god, Cronus, Lord of Time.

[25:09] Edgar: I travel through the fourth dimension and marvel at the folly of mortals.

[25:14] Jaye Ladymore: And it beats working!

[25:16] Edgar: The orange god Freno, Lord of weather and the elements.

[25:21] Jaye Ladymore: Every time it rains, a cloud spit it loses its virginity.

[25:25] Edgar: Or is it the other way around?

[25:29] Jaye Ladymore: He's we all get a really weird vibe from him.

[25:32] Edgar: Man, this is we gotta go through all of them, my god.

[25:35] Jaye Ladymore: The aqua god Postune, lord of the sea.

[25:38] Edgar: Ahoy, Mate!

[25:42] Jaye Ladymore: The Pink God Zamira, Lord of love, kindness, and truth.

[25:47] Edgar: Oh I'm glad you came all this way.

[25:50] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, we're happy.

[25:52] Edgar: We're happy to be here.

[25:54] Jaye Ladymore: The purple god, Papa Curio, Lord of Travel, Bounds, and Trade.

[25:59] Edgar: Oh, we know you!

[26:00] Jaye Ladymore: Game Travelers!

[26:02] Edgar: Wait, you guys were journeying here?

[26:05] Jaye Ladymore: That's crazy! Can you believe it? Here we are. A friendly face.

[26:09] Edgar: And finally, the yellow god, Domino.

[26:12] Jaye Ladymore: Lord of music, dance, and celebration.

[26:16] Jaye Ladymore: Domino appears and sees Edgar and says, Oh shit.

[26:22] Domino: What's up, Eddie?

[26:23] Edgar: Domino, I'm so sorry.

[26:25] Domino: Yeah, I'll bet you are, ma'am. What is happening?

[26:29] Domino: Well, hey, Edgar's friends! Uh, question for you. Did he tell you about that little necklace that he wear that corrected his voice?

[26:36] Edgar: Uh I mean, he did mention something about that.

[26:39] Domino: Yeah, I'd like to hear a little bit more about it though.

[26:41] Edgar: Well, well, did he mention to you that it used evil draconic magic in order to work?

[26:47] Domino: He did not mention that.

[26:48] Edgar: Well, no, that's new information.

[26:50] Domino: That's new.

[26:51] Edgar: You son of Enough. It is time.

[26:54] Domino: Make your case before the twelve.

[26:56] Edgar: Who wants to go first?

[26:57] Jaye Ladymore: Do we need to rock paper scissors?

[26:58] Edgar: I can beat box again.

[27:00] Jaye Ladymore: Don't you dare.

[27:03] Edgar: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Uh uh.

[27:06] Jaye Ladymore: Gods, the twelve.

[27:09] Edgar: We come before you, penitent, and asking for your blessings and your forgiveness and your help.

[27:18] Jaye Ladymore: Yep.

[27:19] Edgar: We understand that our countrymen have made many mistakes.

[27:25] Jaye Ladymore: We understand that it might feel like just desserts to like eradicate them.

[27:31] Edgar: Oh, desserts.

[27:32] Jaye Ladymore: I need you to control your.

[27:33] Edgar: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[27:34] Jaye Ladymore: I feel like if you give us a chance, we can go back to our country and through music, bring our people back to the old ways and turn the messed up situation we got going on over there around.

[27:49] Edgar: What do you think? How do you feel?

[27:51] Jaye Ladymore: Zodindra looks to all of his fellow gods who seem to communicate telepathically with him.

[27:56] Jaye Ladymore: He then looks back at you and says, Very well.

[28:00] Zodindra: If you can convince your people and your ruler to change your ways, end the digging of the Talia Shire mines, and stop any further deforestation, then you will be spared.

[28:14] Jaye Ladymore: The gods burst into hubbub, some excited by this proposition, some angered.

[28:22] Jaye Ladymore: Failure to do so will result in Edenic Doom.

[28:26] Jaye Ladymore: We shall issue you three warnings before that.

[28:29] Jaye Ladymore: Three plagues to signal that you head toward destruction.

[28:34] Jaye Ladymore: As the being who led the charge on this, Mares will choose first.

[28:39] Mares: All right, mortals.

[28:42] Mares: First, a dense fog shall cover the land and steal away your precious crops.

[28:49] Edgar: Okay. Very well.

[28:50] Jaye Ladymore: Frano, god of weather, you choose the second.

[28:54] Frano: My pleasure, my lord. Let's see.

[28:57] Frano: Progs shall rain from the heavens upon Edenia and disturb the natural order.

[29:01] Edgar: Frogs?

[29:02] Jaye Ladymore: Not frogs.

[29:03] Edgar: Oh, progs.

[29:04] Jaye Ladymore: Grotesque frog-like creatures who sing progressive rock.

[29:08] Edgar: Oh.

[29:09] Jaye Ladymore: Oh no.

[29:12] Jaye Ladymore: Gaiadess, it seems only fitting that you should choose the third and final plague.

[29:18] Gaiadess: With pain in her eyes, Gaiadus says, Should you and your people fail to heed all other warnings?

[29:26] Gaiadess: Locusts shall swarm into the sky and block the sun for three days.

[29:32] Jaye Ladymore: Very well.

[29:33] Jaye Ladymore: After the third day of darkness, should you fail to move your countrymen, your destruction will be imminent.

[29:40] Jaye Ladymore: Are we clear?

[29:42] Jocasta: Jocasta raises her hand.

[29:44] Jaye Ladymore: Jokasta looks like you have something.

[29:46] Jocasta: I do. Now, um, do we have like a time limit as to when each of these is gonna happen?

[29:52] Jaye Ladymore: Like Fair enough.

[29:54] Zodindra: You shall have three days before the first plague.

[29:56] Zodindra: Three days after that before the second.

[30:02] Zodindra: And three days after that before the second.

[30:04] Zodindra: Oh after the three days of darkness, you shall face Edenic Doom.

[30:09] Jocasta: Is this up for debate?

[30:11] Edgar: Herman, negotiate with the gods, Herman.

[30:13] Jaye Ladymore: Negotiate.

[30:14] Herman: Okay. I'm going out on a limb here. Uh my name is Herman.

[30:19] Herman: My friends call me Monkey. I want you to know that we're not going to be able to do that.

[30:23] Edgar: No, no, no, no, no, no.

[30:27] Herman: I panicked. I totally blacked out.

[30:29] Herman: How did I do?

[30:29] Jaye Ladymore: You fucked up so hard, Herman.

[30:32] Edgar: God. I don't understand why you keep trying to sing.

[30:35] Jaye Ladymore: Any other questions?

[30:36] Edgar: Yeah, we can a guy get a burger or something around here.

[30:39] Jaye Ladymore: Like, it's been all day.

[30:41] Zodindra: Zodindra snaps his fingers, and a platter of food appears right before you.

[30:47] Edgar: And Roscoe just dives head first and it was like, look, I'll do whatever plan we want. There's been so much talking.

[30:53] Jaye Ladymore: Very well. Thus ends this gathering of the twelve.

[30:57] Jaye Ladymore: And with another flick of his wrists, the god vanish in flashes of light.

[31:04] Domino: I have to know, buddy. Are you truly sorry, Edgar?

[31:08] Edgar: I'm I'm so sorry.

[31:10] Domino: Alright, how many times do I have to say that?

[31:12] Domino: If you are truly sorry, and swear never to use draconic magic ever again, I will consider letting you be my votary once more.

[31:23] Edgar: I I so I swear, I swear on Herman's life that I will never Oh.

[31:28] Jaye Ladymore: A smile creeps across Domino's face.

[31:31] Domino: Do you still have it?

[31:33] Edgar: Do I still have it?

[31:36] Edgar: Grant Edgar pulls out the thunder loot, and maybe, maybe, I don't know. Maybe it's like, you know.

[31:41] Edgar: A shaft of light.

[31:42] Jaye Ladymore: Yeah, the dislist like lens flare that like flares and this little loot thing.

[31:48] Domino: Bring it forth!

[31:49] Edgar: Edgar takes it in his hands, brings it forth, and lifts it up to Domino.

[31:53] Edgar: He heaves out his arm and a beam of yellow light shoots from his hand and into the Thunderloot.

[31:58] Jaye Ladymore: The instrument hums with the sounds of electricity once more.

[32:02] Domino: Go forth!

[32:04] Domino: My rocking votaries!

[32:06] Domino: And use this mythic Thunderloot to guide you on your way.

[32:13] Domino: I shall take the mythic Thunderloot itself. Crafted by the great Luthia Leonidas Vendir, and play upon it, O Domino.

[32:21] Domino: Then go forth, my children, and rock!

[32:25] Jaye Ladymore: Will, you know, make sweet, sweet music.

[32:30] Jaye Ladymore: And Domino vanishes in a flash of yellow light.

[32:33] Edgar: I'll tell you, I'm glad I ate because I would have just passed out.

[32:36] Jaye Ladymore: Pugface is crying right now.

[32:37] Edgar: Hey, y'all. Did Domino give us a name before he left?

[32:42] Jaye Ladymore: Are we the votaries now?

[32:45] Edgar: It's an option.

[32:46] Jaye Ladymore: The disciples of Morris, um, that was not good.

[32:50] Edgar: What did he call the thing that he bestowed with magic, Edgar?

[32:54] Jaye Ladymore: Magic Thunderfoot?

[32:55] Edgar: What did he call it?

[32:55] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, the mythic Thunderloot?

[32:57] Edgar: Mythic Thunderlute.

[33:01] Jaye Ladymore: I think I like it.

[33:02] Edgar: I could get into it.

[33:03] Jaye Ladymore: I wonder if the Thunderloot still does its thing.

[33:05] Edgar: Dust it off.

[33:06] Jaye Ladymore: Play something.

[33:07] Edgar: I don't know, let me see.

[33:16] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, that's starting to sound like rock music.

[33:19] Edgar: Maybe we should get out of here before we upset anyone else.

[33:22] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, good call.

[33:23] Edgar: I'm a little out of practice anyway.

[33:24] Jaye Ladymore: I agree with Monkey. Let's go.

[33:26] Edgar: And I bet the queen is just chomping at the bit to kill us.

[33:29] Jaye Ladymore: We gotta get out.

[33:30] Jaye Ladymore: As you head near the large stone door, it parts and opens once more in that golden shimmer, revealing Giselda.

[33:37] Giselda: Y'all done in there?

[33:39] Edgar: Yes.

[33:39] Jaye Ladymore: Yeah, we're done.

[33:40] Edgar: God, I hope so.

[33:41] Giselda: Took you long enough.

[33:43] Giselda: Come along, loves. Best get you out of here before her majesty changes her mind.

[33:47] Jaye Ladymore: And she heads down the hallway in the opposite direction from which you came.

[33:51] Edgar: Where are we going, Giselda?

[33:53] Giselda: Well, I'm taking you through the throne room again. I'm I'm leading you to the dawn.

[33:58] Jaye Ladymore: You follow Giselda through more winding halls, past guarded doors and chambers, until you find yourselves back in the busy lobby where you started.

[34:06] Edgar: Nice to see you again, Ed Ganon.

[34:08] Giselda: Nice to see you, Giselda.

[34:10] Edgar: Wonder a little bit about what might have been.

[34:12] Jaye Ladymore: Alright, we're wasting time. Let's go.

[34:14] Edgar: We gotta go.

[34:14] Jaye Ladymore: We don't we only have three days.

[34:15] Edgar: Uh goodbye, y'all.

[34:17] Jaye Ladymore: Goodbye.

[34:18] Giselda heads back down the hall.

[34:20] Edgar: I swear, y'all, that had me jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.

[34:24] Jaye Ladymore: When you leave the keep, you notice the folk rock celebration is still raging in the streets.

[34:29] Jaye Ladymore: As soon as you emerge, a peal of cheers rings out.

[34:32] Crowd: Fans of the beat sovereigns.

[34:36] Jaye Ladymore: We have communed with the gods, and they have bestowed upon us a new name.

[34:43] Edgar: On the count of three, except for Herman.

[34:46] Jaye Ladymore: Oh, we're all going to say it together.

[34:49] Crowd: One, two, three.

[34:51] Crowd: Mystic!

[34:56] Jaye Ladymore: The crowd erupts into cheers once more.

[34:59] Jaye Ladymore: Uh, one of the rangers that's been guarding your horse approaches.

[35:02] Ranger: Sheriff Gutendell instructed us to look up to these steeds until your return.

[35:06] Ranger: One of them is quite smelly.

[35:08] Edgar: Oh, that one's mine.

[35:09] Edgar: Shall we to Borstead?

[35:11] Jaye Ladymore: Yes, please.

[35:12] Jaye Ladymore: You mount your horses once more and take off down the streets of Red Fear.

[35:16] Jaye Ladymore: One Mohawk individual shouts at you, Fare thee well, Folk Rock!

[35:20] Crowd: Folk heroes!

[35:22] Jaye Ladymore: And you ride up and out of the valley and come to a fork in your path.

[35:26] Edgar: One leading back to Fort Carlot and the other heading back into the Elvwood Forest and toward the Edenian border.

[35:32] Edgar: We gotta go back to Denia.

[35:33] Jaye Ladymore: Your steeds gallop fiercely through the Elvwood Forest as you race against the setting sun.

[35:39] Jaye Ladymore: As dusk falls on the forest, you come upon a platoon of Elven soldiers on horseback heading toward you, led by none other than General Alvar.

[35:47] General Alvar: Oh, it's your friend.

[35:48] General Alvar: Ah, Edgernon, Roscoe!

[35:51] General Alvar: Pug face to Costa. Herman.

[35:53] General Alvar: Tell me, my friends, how did it go in Red Fear?

[35:58] Edgar: Oh, swimmingly.

[36:00] Edgar: You restored peace to the land.

[36:03] General Alvar: Better believe it.

[36:04] General Alvar: Ha! I should have known you have it in you.

[36:06] General Alvar: Please, I hope you come back in the future.

[36:10] Edgar: Uh well, we've been banished, but um.

[36:13] General Alvar: Ah.

[36:13] Edgar: And this is probably the last time we'll see each other over.

[36:17] General Alvar: I'm so sorry to hear that, my friend, though I suppose not entirely surprised.

[36:22] General Alvar: Indeed.

[36:23] General Alvar: Therefore, I should warn you just before the border that lies ahead lies a company of elves led by Colonel Tarsk, who I believe Roscoe had the displeasure of meeting last night.

[36:35] Roscoe: He's the one I was having it out with at the campfire.

[36:38] Edgar: Yeah, they don't like that guy.

[36:40] General Alvar: I strongly recommend your pushing through to the Edenian border before you rest, tonight.

[36:47] General Alvar: If you tread stealthily, you should be able to avoid them.

[36:51] General Alvar: What about an escort, General?

[36:52] Edgar: Edgenon, I must back to Fort Carlot, I'm afraid. The sun is against us. Alright, guys, let's go. Goodbye, my dear boy. Good luck, General. Come, soldiers.

[37:03] General Alvar: And Alvar and his platoon race back toward the east.

[37:08] Edgar: Well, let's go. Gideon. You ride forth, and before long you notice campfires stretched out before you. Do you proceed stealthily?

[37:17] Lillian Castillo: I mean as stealthily as we can. Can everyone give me a stealth check then on your horseback?

[37:22] Michael D'Arty: 19 for Roscoe.

[37:24] Lillian Castillo: Okay.

[37:25] Edgar: Sixteen for me.

[37:26] Lillian Castillo: Okay.

[37:27] Jaye Ladymore: 23 for Puckface.

[37:28] Lillian Castillo: Okay.

[37:28] Edgar: So 15.

[37:32] Lillian Castillo: You all creep stealthily. On horseback, no less, through the elven army's encampment. Herman even holds his breath. He doesn't beat box once. You navigate around the light from the campfires, and as you pass, Rosco sees the solemn and craggy face of Tarsk, the colonel who cold shouldered him last night.

[37:55] Tarsk: Once I have word from Her Majesty, a vow before the gods I shall end his life. If he be fool enough to show his aged face here ever again.

[38:15] Edgar: Did he say aged?

[38:16] Lillian Castillo: The night grows darker as you near the Adenian border, and then off in the distance, you see light. The province of Kingsrung lies just ahead.

[38:25] Edgar: Thank heavens I grew weary of constantly having bows and arrows trained on us all the time. And I gotta tell you, I'm gonna need an app after this one.

[38:34] Lillian Castillo: As you approach the lights, you realize it's actually torches held by the King's Guard of Borstead, at least 100 strong.

[38:43] Edgar: The moment you realize, you hear one of the soldiers yell, HOT Travelers!

[38:48] Lillian Castillo: And the guards draw their bows in unison.

[38:51] Edgar: Oh, spoke too soon.

[38:53] Lillian Castillo: Okay. You hear several of the guards murmur, it's them as their commanding officer who Edgar deceived with his Cyrus costume steps forward.

[39:03] Commanding Officer: Attention, terrorists! You stand accused of false impersonation of his majesty, obstruction of justice, and incitement of the apocalypse.

[39:14] Edgar: You want to come with us immediately.

[39:16] Lillian Castillo: No.

[39:17] Edgar: I feel like only one of those actually happened.

[39:19] Lillian Castillo: No one ever really gets in trouble for obstruction of justice.

[39:23] Commanding Officer: Sorry. Surrender yourselves now.

[39:27] Edgar: It's gonna take us alive, that's what I said.

[39:30] Commanding Officer: I told you once I won't tell you no more.

[39:40] Edgar: We won't do take you all alive, but I'm here to tell you your life crime!

[39:49] Commanding Officer: The NBU is there to let me be clear.

[39:54] Edgar: You're gonna hack my tears!

[39:56] Lillian Castillo: Everyone cover your ears.

[39:58] Edgar: Okay. I'm sorry about this, everyone.

[40:02] Edgar: And Edgar turns the thunder loot all the way up. You see that it's like one through ten, and then it just has like this mystical looking T on the dial there.

[40:14] Edgar: And he says, Do you boys like rock and roll?

[40:17] Lillian Castillo: And they just stare at you with their bows trained still.

[40:20] Edgar: I'll take that as a yes. And I'd like to thunder loop them.

[40:24] Lillian Castillo: Give me give me a roll for you.

[40:26] Edgar: So, as Edgar plays this chord, yellow light pours forth, and you see about half of the soldiers just evaporate into nothingness and crumble into burnt skeletons.

[40:38] Lillian Castillo: What the other remaining soldiers proceed to fire their arrows, and a sea of arrows rains down upon you.

[40:47] Jaye Ladymore: Hug face.

[40:54] Lillian Castillo: Take five damage and give me a constitution saving.

[40:59] Jaye Ladymore: 18. You feel like a little woozy, but you're still standing.

[41:03] Edgar: Oh my god, how we done? This could be the end.

[41:14] Lillian Castillo: Joe Pasta, two arrows are gonna sink into you as well.

[41:18] Jaye Ladymore: Take 10 damage and give me two constitution saving throws.

[41:22] Lillian Castillo: Okay, the first one is a 19.

[41:24] Jaye Ladymore: The second one is a four.

[41:27] Lillian Castillo: You feel a little dizzy after the first one, and upon the second hit, you fall unconscious.

[41:32] Edgar: Is anyone else here feeling sleepy?

[41:35] Jaye Ladymore: Edgar.

[41:36] Edgar: Oh my god.

[41:37] Lillian Castillo: Three of the arrows hit Edgar.

[41:39] Edgar: Shit.

[41:41] Lillian Castillo: Take 15 damage and give me three constitution saving throws.

[41:45] Edgar: Seven.

[41:46] Lillian Castillo: Uh Edgar, upon the first arrow that hits you, you fall immediately unconscious.

[41:51] Jaye Ladymore: I'm sorry everybody.

[41:52] Lillian Castillo: And two arrows hit Herman the Monk.

[41:56] Jaye Ladymore: Oh no.

[41:56] Lillian Castillo: Miraculously rolls two Nat 20 and stays standing.

[42:00] Jaye Ladymore: And he goes.

[42:23] Lillian Castillo: And it is now Roscoe's turn.

[42:25] Jaye Ladymore: Okay, the first thing I'd like to do, he starts getting crazy. Start banging my chest. What you gonna do when I come for you?

[42:30] Jaye Ladymore: You might take that my friends and pugging I ain't through. You pissed me off, so what I'm gonna do is take you back in blue.

[42:40] Edgar: I'd like to see you try.

[42:42] Jaye Ladymore: Well then Camille, my guy. I'm gonna make you cry. You all are gonna die!

[42:50] Edgar: What are you gonna do now?

[42:51] Jaye Ladymore: And I'm gonna run straight at all 50 of them.

[42:54] Lillian Castillo: Pug Face, what do you do?

[42:55] Jaye Ladymore: I have my short bow. There's so many of them, I'm just sh fucking shooting.

[42:59] Lillian Castillo: Great.

[42:59] Edgar: Okay, 14 and a uh 18.

[43:02] Lillian Castillo: You fire two arrows, they sink into two of the soldiers, they drop dead off their steeds.

[43:08] Edgar: Another sea of arrows rains down upon you.

[43:12] Lillian Castillo: Pug face, two of the arrows are gonna hit you again, take another 10 damage and give me an additional two constitution saving throws.

[43:21] Jaye Ladymore: I got a three and a seven.

[43:22] Lillian Castillo: Yeah, when the first arrow hits you, you too fall unconscious.

[43:26] Edgar: And Roscoe, three of them are going to hit you. You can deflect one, but take an additional ten damage and roll me two more constitution saving throws.

[43:36] Jaye Ladymore: Fifteen.

[43:40] Lillian Castillo: You all lack out.

[43:45] Commanding Officer: You fools who couldn't be deterred. Wouldn't take me at my word, but your impudence will be cured, and justice will be served.

[44:05] Lillian Castillo: When you awake, you discover that you are in a dungeon. It's a large cement room with a large metal door. You're laying across two long benches. There is a bucket in the corner, and it reeks of urine. There are no windows. But sitting in the middle of the room, you see a balding man in a gray robe.

[44:29] Edgar: Is Herman okay?

[44:35] Jaye Ladymore: Yeah, Herman is laying among you guys.

[44:37] Edgar: Do we have to talk to this guy?

[44:39] Lillian Castillo: As soon as you speak, Roscoe, you startle the gray-robed man who says, Oh, oh, good. You're awake. Come on. We've got a lot of planning to do, and we're burning daylight. Not that you could tell in here.

[44:50] Simon Crab: And you are?

[44:51] Edgar: Oh, I'm Simon Crab. I'll be your defense attorney in the trial today.

[44:55] Lillian Castillo: What of what?

[44:56] Simon Crab: So let's get a few things straight. Did you do it?

[44:58] Edgar: Did we do what?

[44:59] Simon Crab: Well, all the things you stand accused of.

[45:00] Edgar: What are we standing accused of?

[45:02] Simon Crab: The charges are impersonation of the king.

[45:05] Edgar: That one definitely happened.

[45:06] Simon Crab: Okay, uh, let's see, obstruction of justice.

[45:08] Edgar: No.

[45:08] Simon Crab: I don't even know what that means.

[45:10] Simon Crab: That you lied to officers of the law.

[45:13] Edgar: We did that.

[45:13] Simon Crab: We did that.

[45:14] Simon Crab: Now I don't quite understand incitement of the apocalypse.

[45:18] Edgar: No, that was.

[45:22] Simon Crab: Okay. We might have something here. A new charge that was just added to the mix last night is murder of several kings guard.

[45:29] Edgar: That might be true.

[45:30] Simon Crab: Uh, what's your definition of murder?

[45:32] Edgar: Does it count as self-defense?

[45:33] Simon Crab: I'd like to go with an accident defense that.

[45:36] Edgar: A misfire.

[45:37] Simon Crab: A mi a complete misfire.

[45:39] Simon Crab: That's great. My friends, we might actually have a case here.

[45:42] Simon Crab: I almost forgot. Got this bird here. We've got this K-wren, in case any of you can think of a character witness.

[45:49] Edgar: Well, we have Herman.

[45:50] Simon Crab: Yes.

[45:51] Edgar: Uh, he also stands accused, so he is.

[45:53] Simon Crab: Can't I feel like anybody who would corroborate what we've said is a deity of some kind.

[46:00] Simon Crab: It does not have to be anyone who can corroborate your story, merely someone who can speak favorably on the parts of all five of you.

[46:06] Edgar: General Ovar.

[46:08] Simon Crab: Do you think he'd come?

[46:09] Edgar: Oh, or the sheriff.

[46:10] Simon Crab: The sheriff likes us.

[46:12] Edgar: Sheriff is good. Get some law enforcement on us.

[46:13] Simon Crab: Oh, good, that's good.

[46:14] Edgar: Hey, you the bird.

[46:15] Jaye Ladymore: The K-Ren finally chimes in and says, My God.

[46:18] Jaye Ladymore: It's Kathy.

[46:19] Jaye Ladymore: The name is Kathy. And also, it reeks in here.

[46:22] Edgar: Oh my gosh!

[46:24] Jaye Ladymore: Uh, you're the one that I sent to go talk to my mama.

[46:26] Edgar: Hmm.

[46:27] Jaye Ladymore: She has a message for you.

[46:29] Edgar: Oh, what is it?

[46:30] Jaye Ladymore: Your mom said, do what you need to protect us, sweetheart. I believe in you.

[46:35] Edgar: Oh.

[46:36] Jaye Ladymore: So much for that.

[46:37] Edgar: So I'm sending a message to summon Sheriff Gutendell in Redfear then.

[46:43] Jaye Ladymore: Yes, please.

[46:44] Edgar: Can you do it now?

[46:45] Jaye Ladymore: Say it, don't spray it.

[46:47] Jaye Ladymore: And Kathy flies over and pecks at the door.

[46:50] Lillian Castillo: A small panel opens, allowing her to fly through.

[46:53] Simon Crab: Now then, at this moment, the door flies open and an imposing guard beckons you to follow.

[47:01] Guard: Come.

[47:02] Simon Crab: The trial of the Boarstead Five is about to begin.

[47:06] Lillian Castillo: And that's where we will end our episode.

[47:10] Jaye Ladymore: What a fucking ride.

[47:12] Lillian Castillo: I feel like we are being given all sorts of horrible names.

[47:15] Jaye Ladymore: My god.

[47:16] Lillian Castillo: I'm just like, I disagree.

[47:22] Lillian Castillo: Tune in in three weeks on Monday, September 13th for episode four, The Trial of the Boarstead Five.

[47:27] Lillian Castillo: And don't forget to rate, comment, and subscribe.

[47:30] Michael D'Arty: Mythic Thunderlute was conceived by Jake Blauck, Michael D'Arty, and Steve Goodalunas.

[47:35] Jake Blauck: Jake Blauck serves as our guitarist and the voice of Edgar Hawk.

[47:38] Lillian Castillo: Lilyn Castillo is the voice of Jocasta Stormwood.

[47:41] Michael D'Arty: I'm Michael D'Arty, the editor and head writer, aka the game maker.

[47:45] Steve Goodalunas: Steve Goodalunas is our drummer and the voice of Rosco Chubb.

[47:48] Lillian Castillo: Leah Cato is the voice of Pugface Doodle Op.

[47:51] Michael D'Arty: Dan Casini does our underscoring, arranging, mixing, mastering synth, and keyboard.

[47:56] Michael D'Arty: Alex Skyper is our co-producer and chief story editor. She did the sound effects for this episode.

[48:01] Michael D'Arty: Peace has been restored was written and performed by Michael D'Arty, Dan Kazimi, and Matthew Mastrinardi with additional vocals by Alex Skyper.

[48:08] Michael D'Arty: Woozo Dindra was written by Jake Blauck and Michael D'Arty.

[48:11] Michael D'Arty: And Ain't Gonna Take Us Alive was written by Jake Blauck.

[48:14] Michael D'Arty: An omission from last week. The harmonica and folk of rock was performed by the great Charlie Del Marcel.

[48:20] Michael D'Arty: The drums were recorded, mixed, and tracked by Tyler Blanchard at Goodcat Productions.

[48:25] Michael D'Arty: Our production manager is Molly Foy, social media assistants from Sarah Royds, marketing consultation from Judd Mellinger Blau, imaging by Lee Cortapassi and Daniel Kantz, and web design by Campbell O'Hare.

[48:37] Michael D'Arty: A shout out to our first six Patreon supporters, Meg McCormick, Joshua Grubb, Greg Nicks, Mike Hahn, F. Mark Salo, and Steven.

[48:45] Michael D'Arty: Join us on Patreon to get an early glimpse of our next episode.

[48:49] Michael D'Arty: Or find us on Bandcamp.

[48:51] Michael D'Arty: We'll catch you next time on Mythic Thunder.