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[0:00] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Today on Support for This Podcast.

[0:03] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: You're Tom. You like Room and Board, the furniture store, which a lot of men do.

[0:08] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: So now that's not a lot of information.

[0:09] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: So you're Tom, you like Room and Board, and you are a fan of John Mayer.

[0:14] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Where's Tom gonna be on a Saturday?

[0:16] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: And that's characterization.

[0:18] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I know now he's going to be at a sports bar with three friends for their birthday party, probably a Brother Jimmy's type of place.

[0:24] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: We speak with Lonni Lindsay, owner, founder, and CEO of Women Take Back the Night, a robust private investigation agency with an international clientele.

[0:33] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: She's written a new book called Stalking Your Inner Stalker, an expert's guide to life and love.

[0:38] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: She'll share her company's origin story as well as some of her all-time favorite stalking scenarios.

[0:44] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: There's no job too low for me.

[0:46] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: So there's wigs, there's costumes, there's makeup, there's all different things.

[0:49] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I have become a waiter before.

[0:51] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I have been a parking valet, which always does shock people.

[0:54] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Because you don't find many female valets, but you have to do whatever you do to find the guy.

[0:58] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Join us, won't you?

[0:59] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I'm Emily Amy Lauren Beca, and this is Support for This Podcast.

[1:16] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Thank you so much for joining us today.

[1:18] Lonni Lindsay: Thank you so much for having me.

[1:19] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Of course.

[1:20] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: We're here with Lonni Lindsay.

[1:22] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Uh, when I heard your story, I was super inspired.

[1:25] Lonni Lindsay: Oh, thank you.

[1:25] Lonni Lindsay: It's amazing to hear that from particularly other women.

[1:28] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Absolutely.

[1:29] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, let's just start at the beginning.

[1:31] Lonni Lindsay: Please, yeah.

[1:32] Lonni Lindsay: How did all of this begin?

[1:34] Lonni Lindsay: Well, if that isn't a loaded question.

[1:36] Lonni Lindsay: Um, so I went to college up in Washington, and like many college girls, there was a boy there, and I was quite smitten.

[1:46] Lonni Lindsay: Uh, problem is he wasn't as smitten with me.

[1:49] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[1:49] Lonni Lindsay: Um, which is a story I think a lot of us know all too well.

[1:53] Lonni Lindsay: And, you know, it started kind of lately.

[1:55] Lonni Lindsay: It was during the AIM days, uh, AOL Instant Messenger.

[1:58] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh, of course, yes.

[1:59] Lonni Lindsay: For any listeners who are tuning in.

[2:01] Lonni Lindsay: Um, and I would use kind of his away messages to be able to guide my next step.

[2:07] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh, interesting.

[2:09] Lonni Lindsay: I was always kind of anticipating my next move, you know.

[2:11] Lonni Lindsay: If his AIM message said at the gym, I'm putting on sneakers.

[2:15] Lonni Lindsay: If his AIM message said the library, I'm packing my backpack, kind of thing.

[2:20] Lonni Lindsay: Um, so I was able to always kind of identify where he was.

[2:23] Lonni Lindsay: And slowly but surely I was able to also identify when Facebook came into play, who his friends were, what school they went to, how they knew each other, did they go to camp, and kind of was able to make this web think, um, Carrie in Homeland.

[2:35] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: You know how she has that kind of web.

[2:36] Lonni Lindsay: Yes.

[2:37] Lonni Lindsay: So I was able to have something similar recreated in my living room.

[2:39] Lonni Lindsay: So that was super helpful.

[2:41] Lonni Lindsay: And um, he ended up passing away, which is a tragic story.

[2:45] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh.

[2:45] Lonni Lindsay: But I will say, um, if he was living now, I do think there would have been a chance for us to be together.

[2:51] Lonni Lindsay: And I remember kind of I felt this kind of female empowerment, um, that I wanted to take back the night.

[2:57] Lonni Lindsay: And you know, private investigation to me has always felt like a man's job.

[3:00] Lonni Lindsay: I thought Tom Selleck and men drinking coffee and mustaches, and I wanted to bring this feminine edge.

[3:06] Lonni Lindsay: So, uh, that's kind of how it began.

[3:08] Lonni Lindsay: And then one thing led to another, and now it's, you know, global.

[3:11] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow.

[3:12] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: And that's kind of you started in like the kind of beta mode of online.

[3:18] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, I was like private testing.

[3:19] Lonni Lindsay: It was online, and you know, as technology changed, I was changing with it.

[3:24] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow.

[3:24] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah.

[3:25] Lonni Lindsay: So now you have your own private investigation company?

[3:25] Lonni Lindsay: I do, yeah.

[3:30] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: And what's the name of that company?

[3:32] Lonni Lindsay: Um, it's called Women Take Back the Night.

[3:33] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wonderful.

[3:34] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: And how big is it?

[3:35] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Do you have employees?

[3:36] Lonni Lindsay: I mean, we're pretty global now.

[3:36] Lonni Lindsay: We have a Hong Kong office, a London office, Beijing, and we're opening Dubai as well.

[3:41] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh my goodness.

[3:42] Lonni Lindsay: So it's huge.

[3:43] Lonni Lindsay: I can't believe it, honestly.

[3:44] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yeah.

[3:45] Lonni Lindsay: Um, and it's, uh, 40 investigators, all female, which is amazing.

[3:49] Lonni Lindsay: My mom actually works there now.

[3:51] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh, fantastic.

[3:52] Lonni Lindsay: She actually was able to find her ex-husband, the man before my father through this entire thing.

[3:56] Lonni Lindsay: So it's kind of I'm seeing all these generations of women saying, "Hey, I want to be involved. Hey, I want to find that man."

[4:01] Lonni Lindsay: That's, you know, it's kind of the new take on the Scarlet Letter.

[4:05] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow.

[4:05] Lonni Lindsay: We're not going to be scorned anymore or ignored.

[4:07] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: And there's something universal about it.

[4:09] Lonni Lindsay: Absolutely.

[4:09] Lonni Lindsay: That transcends.

[4:10] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, it's actually amazing.

[4:11] Lonni Lindsay: The market in India has been really interesting.

[4:13] Lonni Lindsay: We're speaking to people there, getting investors, but there's definitely some, um, angry women there.

[4:18] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow.

[4:19] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, do you do mostly, um, social media stalking?

[4:23] Lonni Lindsay: Is that how you?

[4:23] Lonni Lindsay: I’m pretty primarily social media stalking.

[4:26] Lonni Lindsay: If they don't have a social world, it's really difficult to find them, but I'm great at finding private accounts as well.

[4:33] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[4:34] Lonni Lindsay: Pseudonyms, people a lot I’ve seen, you know, there's classic things you see here.

[4:38] Lonni Lindsay: I'm also great at hacking passwords.

[4:40] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh, wonderful.

[4:42] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, when people apply for a job with your company, um, what's the application process like?

[4:46] Lonni Lindsay: Um, yeah, first and foremost, it's the story.

[4:49] Lonni Lindsay: Why are you doing this?

[4:50] Lonni Lindsay: Who hurt you?

[4:52] Lonni Lindsay: Kind of that's kind of the first thing.

[4:54] Lonni Lindsay: And I feel like once I have, once I can see in their eyes that they mean that, I have to meet everyone personally.

[4:58] Lonni Lindsay: So I'm constantly flying because now we're on all these different continents from different places to meet all these women, um, with a translator if we're in a different country.

[5:05] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[5:05] Lonni Lindsay: So it's kind of knowing what your story is and then seeing your skills.

[5:08] Lonni Lindsay: So I'll love to give somebody a test on the first day.

[5:11] Lonni Lindsay: Say, "Hey, you have a job. His name is Taylor, he loves French fries, and he loves the Giants. How are you gonna find him?"

[5:17] Lonni Lindsay: And see what they come up with.

[5:20] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow.

[5:20] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, and that should be enough information that you should be able to find him, to be honest with you, and find his ex-girlfriends as well.

[5:26] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: And no last name?

[5:27] Lonni Lindsay: No, you don't need a last name at this point.

[5:29] Lonni Lindsay: That's extraordinary.

[5:30] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yeah.

[5:30] Lonni Lindsay: If you know what you're doing, you do it well.

[5:32] Lonni Lindsay: You know what I mean?

[5:33] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[5:33] Lonni Lindsay: You like, you do band-aids for bandages, you'd have clean extra tissues, you come to us for stalking.

[5:39] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, talk to me about the word stalking.

[5:41] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Are you okay with that term?

[5:43] Lonni Lindsay: Does it have a pejorative kind of feeling that you do you avoid using the words?

[5:47] Lonni Lindsay: Do you like it?

[5:47] Lonni Lindsay: It's actually the, um, forward in my book, which is funny.

[5:49] Lonni Lindsay: Did you read, I don't know if you read it yet?

[5:51] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Just the advanced one.

[5:52] Lonni Lindsay: Okay, so I don't even know if it's in there yet.

[5:54] Lonni Lindsay: Um, so I feel like to go back with Take Back the Night, we're taking back the word.

[5:58] Lonni Lindsay: It's not negative, it's power.

[6:00] Lonni Lindsay: Someone hurt you, somebody led you on, somebody told you something that wasn't true.

[6:05] Lonni Lindsay: So I think stalking in that case, he owes it to you or she owes it to you.

[6:10] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, do you think anybody could be a good stalker, or do you think there's you're born with it?

[6:14] Lonni Lindsay: I certainly think it's nature, not nurture.

[6:17] Lonni Lindsay: You know, I think somebody has to have the mind to get into somebody else.

[6:21] Lonni Lindsay: You, uh, in that sort of way.

[6:23] Lonni Lindsay: I actually think actors would be great at it because they can kind of turn on that cue.

[6:26] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[6:27] Lonni Lindsay: Uh, but people who have a really kind of mathematical brain, it's not gonna work for you as well.

[6:31] Lonni Lindsay: You kind of have to put yourself in this scenario.

[6:33] Lonni Lindsay: You're Tom, you like Room and Board, the furniture store.

[6:37] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Uh-huh.

[6:38] Lonni Lindsay: Which a lot of men do.

[6:39] Lonni Lindsay: So now that's not a lot of information.

[6:40] Lonni Lindsay: So you're Tom, you like Room and Board, and you are a fan of John Mayer.

[6:46] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Uh-huh.

[6:46] Lonni Lindsay: Where's Tom gonna be on a Saturday?

[6:49] Lonni Lindsay: You know?

[6:49] Lonni Lindsay: And that's characterization.

[6:51] Lonni Lindsay: I know now he's going to be at a sports bar with three friends for their birthday party, probably a Brother Jimmy's type of place.

[6:57] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Uh-huh.

[6:57] Lonni Lindsay: And that's how I'm gonna find him.

[6:59] Lonni Lindsay: So I'm gonna now go to the location feature on Instagram and go to all Brother Jimmy's and see who's been tagged in photos.

[7:04] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: So you do a lot of the preliminary research on social media when it comes to actually finding people in real life.

[7:11] Lonni Lindsay: Do you ever hide in a trash can?

[7:13] Lonni Lindsay: Oh, yeah.

[7:13] Lonni Lindsay: I mean, you'll do whatever you need for the shot.

[7:15] Lonni Lindsay: Uh, I'm not too, I'm not, you know, there's no job that's too low for me.

[7:20] Lonni Lindsay: So there's wigs, there's costumes, there's makeup, there's all different things.

[7:23] Lonni Lindsay: I have become a waiter before.

[7:25] Lonni Lindsay: I have been a parking valet, which always does shock people.

[7:28] Lonni Lindsay: Because you don't find many female valets, but you have to do whatever you do to find the guy.

[7:32] Lonni Lindsay: And also you are, um, if I may say so, petite in stature, which could—

[7:32] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Thank you.

[7:32] Lonni Lindsay: —be useful if you, especially if you're in a cramped—

[7:38] Lonni Lindsay: Well, I was a jockey once, which definitely wasn't an experience that I wasn't prepared for, but my body type did lend itself to that at the Derby.

[7:45] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: That's remarkable.

[7:46] Lonni Lindsay: He's in jail now.

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[9:02] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Shock the words away.

[9:04] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Literally.

[9:06] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, who are your—do you have role models or people you look up to within the industry?

[9:12] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, I certainly do.

[9:14] Lonni Lindsay: Um, you know, as much as I'm the first woman who's gotten a little notoriety for that, uh, there were many before me.

[9:21] Lonni Lindsay: Mrs. Budafuco was definitely somebody who changed the game.

[9:25] Lonni Lindsay: And, uh, she's been a guest speaker before.

[9:27] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: That's wonderful.

[9:28] Lonni Lindsay: We are taking it back, once again, taking back the narrative.

[9:31] Lonni Lindsay: Um, I loved Tanya Harding.

[9:35] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[9:35] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, she was a—it was that was an interesting sort of twist, and I thought it was great that she hired somebody else.

[9:40] Lonni Lindsay: So that was an interesting sort of thing.

[9:42] Lonni Lindsay: To keep a buffer between if she had done the knee banging.

[9:46] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Exactly.

[9:47] Lonni Lindsay: It could have gotten really up.

[9:48] Lonni Lindsay: Exactly, but she was smart about it.

[9:49] Lonni Lindsay: Outsourcing.

[9:50] Lonni Lindsay: Outsourcing, exactly.

[9:51] Lonni Lindsay: Knowing your strength.

[9:52] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Exactly.

[9:53] Lonni Lindsay: Um, and then I would say there's an unknown private investigator, female private investigator, and she likes to stay under the radar.

[9:59] Lonni Lindsay: But I feel like I wouldn't be right if I didn't pay it forward to her.

[10:03] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[10:03] Lonni Lindsay: Um, and that's Marianne Tai.

[10:05] Lonni Lindsay: She's a very, very small woman in Nepal, and she does lessons out there.

[10:10] Lonni Lindsay: I go, I try to go like once a year if I can, and she gives some incredible, incredible work, and it's amazing because the village she's in has no internet.

[10:17] Lonni Lindsay: And still she imagines she can manage to get this all together.

[10:21] Lonni Lindsay: So if you are listening, please buy Mary Ann Tai's book.

[10:24] Lonni Lindsay: She's incredible.

[10:26] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, how do potential clients find you?

[10:28] Lonni Lindsay: You're online and, uh, well, at this point, I would say we get maybe 300 inquiries a day.

[10:34] Lonni Lindsay: Wow.

[10:34] Lonni Lindsay: Women are being hurt by the thousands out there, and they're finding us.

[10:37] Lonni Lindsay: We can't take them all on.

[10:39] Lonni Lindsay: I would say a client generally finds us.

[10:41] Lonni Lindsay: We did go on Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo.

[10:43] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh.

[10:44] Lonni Lindsay: Which was a blessing and a curse.

[10:46] Lonni Lindsay: Um, but mostly a blessing, give us a lot of business.

[10:49] Lonni Lindsay: So we've found a lot of people through there.

[10:51] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, would Patty maybe say at some point you have to stop stalking people if you—

[10:51] Lonni Lindsay: Well, well, in what capacity were you going on?

[10:58] Lonni Lindsay: Sometimes when there's a lover that's kind of—there's a blockage and they can't move forward, and we usually find out it's because there was an ex there.

[11:04] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[11:04] Lonni Lindsay: So I come in to kind of piece together that hole.

[11:06] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh.

[11:07] Lonni Lindsay: It's about finding love.

[11:08] Lonni Lindsay: At the end of the day, I want people to find love.

[11:10] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yeah.

[11:10] Lonni Lindsay: And you have to release your demons to find that love.

[11:12] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure.

[11:13] Lonni Lindsay: Or you have to murder or whatever needs to happen to be able to close up that hole.

[11:18] Lonni Lindsay: Sure. Well, I wouldn't personally advocate for murder. You do you? You know what I mean? It's taking back the night. That's the whole thing. So judgment's not part of this. That's where you're getting mixed up.

[11:29] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, when you're working on a case, how do you feel if you find out someone's been cheating? Are you excited when you get that information? Is it hard to relay that information to your client?

[11:42] Lonni Lindsay: No, that's the bite of the apple you really want. You know what I mean? So finding out cheating scandal, jail, money laundering, these are all things that make sense. Anything to help fill in the pieces.

[11:53] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, what happens if you look and there's really nothing going on?

[11:57] Lonni Lindsay: I have to be honest with you, that has not happened to me yet. Ever. No. If a woman's suspicious, there's a reason. So ladies, if you're listening, if there's something that is irking you, there's a reason why. And chances are he's probably not being good to you.

[12:10] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, do you struggle at all taking your job home with you? Do you find that you separate it, or it sounds like it's such a passion for you?

[12:18] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, my work is my life. My husband understands that, so that's kind of part of it. I travel around the country to crack the case, so you know, wherever it takes me. After this, I have no idea. I have a plane ticket, and I don't even know where I'm going. My assistant books it, so sometimes she doesn't even tell me where I'm going because I kind of like to be in the headspace and arrive and figure it out from there.

[12:40] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow. So you thrive on wanting to know as little as possible.

[12:43] Lonni Lindsay: Yes. It's kind of intuition. And if you have things in your brain before that, you're not as successful. So I could wake up anywhere tomorrow and stalk anyone. Anyone. In any language.

[12:55] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Now, where do you think this... We talked about how it's more of a nature versus nurture. Can you talk about your home life? Was this something growing up? Do you think this came out of something in your childhood?

[13:11] Lonni Lindsay: I do. I remember an experience at day camp where there was a young man, who shall remain unnamed, who did say some nasty things to me during a lip sync battle contest. And it stuck in my mind, and I remember I kept always thinking, I gotta get back to him, I gotta figure out, I gotta find where he is and tell him how he wronged me. So that experience was the first time I felt that urge of I gotta stalk him. Where is he now?

[13:39] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: So you do think that those formative years of camp definitely sort of affected what happened to you moving forward?

[13:46] Lonni Lindsay: Sure. And then there was the Goosebumps series, R.L. Stine. Oh, of course. I remember thinking characters would do things, and I would think that's not how you're gonna find it. Oh, so it's kind of like, you know, when you hear people who speak to ghosts or mediums or things like that when they learn their skill. Kind of R.L. Stine was that conduit for me. Wow. Fear Street, not so much, but Goosebumps, I remember reading very as a young girl and thinking, Jane's on the wrong path. That's not how you're gonna get him.

[14:14] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: So now you were in college, you had that AIM experience. What did you major in in college?

[14:24] Lonni Lindsay: Oh, something completely different. I did therapy and I did twin studies.

[14:28] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Twin studies?

[14:28] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, like twins.

[14:30] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh. I was gonna go into like a medical field at some point.

[14:35] Lonni Lindsay: Oh. And then obviously something took me in another direction. And what I find so inspiring about your story is that you really found your passion and you made it your life's work.

[14:45] Lonni Lindsay: I sure did. And I hope to continue. I mean, there's so many more cases. Every day something new happens. It's interesting. And it doesn't seem like there's much of an age limit; you can stalk until your thumbs stop moving.

[14:58] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: You certainly could. And the most amazing thing is that our clients are all different ages. I love getting somebody who's 73, and I love also getting someone who's 11.

[15:06] Lonni Lindsay: Do you find that the older clients are less stealthy?

[15:10] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I do. I think they need us more. We do charge more if you're past the age of fifty-five, 'cause there's a kind of a learning curve that I have to work past. But I do find that they are more appreciative of the news. Our clients in their twenties and thirties are kind of cavalier about the whole experience. So I find those older women are some of our most successful to work with and also heartwarming. It makes the job really worth it.

[15:34] Lonni Lindsay: So you know, I feel like when I give a big nugget to a 20 or 30-year-old and they say, "Hey, thanks," it kind of feels like, "Hey, I traveled to South Korea for that. Pay attention to me."

[15:44] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Absolutely. Is there anyone in your life that you are looking to find or anything like that?

[15:49] Lonni Lindsay: Oh, then I don't mean to turn the table on you.

[15:52] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yes and no. I don't want to talk about it.

[15:54] Lonni Lindsay: You don't want to unpack that? Okay. Let's move on.

[15:56] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Okay, sure. Here's my card if you do want to recall.

[15:58] Lonni Lindsay: Thank you.

[16:01] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Support for Support for This Podcast is brought to you by Yourself Says. Be yourself. Everyone else has already taken. Do thine own self be true. I'm a do me. It seems like everywhere we look, we're told that the answer to almost everything is to just be yourself. But what if you don't know who yourself is? And not in a study abroad for a semester in college and come back with a regrettable tattoo that you make up a meaningful story for after the fact kind of way. You just don't know how to be yourself.

[16:32] Lonni Lindsay: From the makers of BuzzFeed quizzes comes Yourself Says, an app to help guide you to you. Answer a few questions like a BuzzFeed quiz, and Yourself Says will generate an authentic answer in any situation. Topics include, what do I want to eat tonight? Should I go to grad school? And do I need therapy? You've already found out that you're a Miranda. Now find out if it's better to Netflix and chill or throw down with your bros. Just be true to yourself and do what Yourself Says says. That says with a Z. How you is that?

[17:07] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Let me ask you this. Do you ever have any kind of legal trouble? Do you ever have people sue you or feel like you've invaded their privacy? Are there legal ramifications for the work that you do?

[17:17] Lonni Lindsay: There are. We've had several civil suits. We do have a lawyer on call. There's someone who follows me at all times as well with security. I will say that if you know how to stalk someone accurately, you know how to get around the law accurately too. So we've had not a hard time figuring it out. Stalking laws are pretty light at this point. You know, there was that whole paparazzi thing with celebrities that kind of affected things, but I don't usually find celebrities.

[17:47] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Do you go after any revenge porn cases?

[17:51] Lonni Lindsay: We don't deal with cloud work, as you can understand. Nobody wants to get involved with that.

[17:56] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: The cloud.

[17:57] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, if you're on the cloud, you ask for it. That's rule number one.

[18:02] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: What do you think about catfishing?

[18:05] Lonni Lindsay: Hey. Have I done it? Sure. Do I support it? I don't know. Do I think it's the best use of our time? Definitely not. It's probably the best. I think we've all catfished before, and if we're not, you're lying. And I want to take, like everything else, I want to take back the night.

[18:20] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow. Do you know, are you familiar with Hamilton, the musical?

[18:25] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah. I did see it with my nephew.

[18:28] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: You know, because Eliza says something about taking back the narrative.

[18:34] Lonni Lindsay: She does, yeah. Well, I did actually work with Lin-Manuel a little bit on that storyline. But he doesn't ever credit me with that. We did have a brief discussion about it at some point in Berlin when he was traveling for work and I was there for work as well.

[18:47] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: That's great. Thinking about ways to get in touch with people, stalking them. Have you had any experience working for celebrities?

[18:57] Lonni Lindsay: I've worked with one celebrity before, and after that experience, I'm hesitant to work with another one.

[19:03] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Sure. Do you find, do you imagine that certain celebrities have more expected emails than you would suspect? Like chris.pratt@gmail.com or something of the like?

[19:16] Lonni Lindsay: It's incredible to me actually what the emails are. They're usually just like a number one is attached to it. You probably can figure out anyone's email address. Yeah. Or if they have the dog, chances are it's in there.

[19:28] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh. And they don't use Gmail.

[19:29] Lonni Lindsay: So if you're still ladies, if you're going through Gmail, that is not going to be your best place.

[19:33] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Why mail?

[19:34] Lonni Lindsay: Why mail? It's Yahtzee. It's a different server.

[19:39] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh. Or like Earthlink or something?

[19:41] Lonni Lindsay: Earthlink was big for a while, but people don't use Earthlink as much. Just Y Mail, there's Fiesta, which is another kind of private server.

[19:50] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow. But Gmail's kind of for rookies.

[19:55] Lonni Lindsay: So now really exciting, you are publishing your first book.

[19:58] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I am with Random House. That's wonderful. Can you tell us? Tell us the title.

[20:01] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, sure. It's Stalking Your Inner Stalker: An Expert's Guide to Life and Love.

[20:05] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow. What made you want to write this book?

[20:10] Lonni Lindsay: Well, I'll be honest with you. One of my exes is an investor in Borders, the now defunct bookstore? And it started as a way to get back at him and put my book in every other bookstore possible. And then once I started it, kind of one thing led to another, and I found real love in it. And I realized I could touch so many people with this. But really, him at the end of the day.

[20:38] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yeah. And does... What's he doing now?

[20:41] Lonni Lindsay: As of a few hours ago, I had checked he was buying bulbs at a store called Basic Basics in the East Village.

[20:48] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh wow. I just meant in general.

[20:51] Lonni Lindsay: Oh yeah, is that a business? Oh yeah. Well, he's trying to get a few things off the ground. He was part of Fire Festival.

[20:58] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Oh my goodness.

[20:59] Lonni Lindsay: Yeah, so everything he touches kind of turns to trash.

[21:02] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Wow. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.

[21:04] Lonni Lindsay: I certainly did. And he got what's coming to him, and he knows it.

[21:07] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: One last question. Is there a friends and family discount?

[21:11] Lonni Lindsay: There is. It is only for first cousins. So it's a limited discount, but if you are a first cousin, come on in. It's a 20% discount.

[21:19] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Of your first cousin.

[21:21] Lonni Lindsay: Just me.

[21:22] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yeah, yeah, just me.

[21:22] Lonni Lindsay: Okay. So not many people are available to the discount.

[21:28] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Yeah. Do you... How many first cousins do you have?

[21:30] Lonni Lindsay: I have seven.

[21:31] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Have they taken you up on it?

[21:32] Lonni Lindsay: Not yet.

[21:33] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Well, they should.

[21:34] Lonni Lindsay: They should. Unless Teresa, if you're listening, you get a discount.

[21:38] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Teresa's the only one I really speak to at this point.

[21:40] Lonni Lindsay: Oh.

[21:42] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Well, thank you so much for...

[21:44] Lonni Lindsay: Thank you for having me. This was fabulous.

[21:45] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: I really appreciate it. It's my pleasure.

[21:48] Lonni Lindsay: Oh, thank you. And everyone be sure to go on Amazon and buy the book Stalking Your Inner Stalker: An Expert's Guide to Life and Love.

[21:54] Emily Amy Lauren Becca: Thank you. For more information and a full price consultation, contact Lonni Lindsay at women take back the night one at Ymail dot com. And don't worry, if you can't find her, she'll find you. I'm your host Emily Amy Lauren Becca. Thanks for listening. And as always, for supporting Support For This Podcast.