This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:07] Alistair Justin Black: Hello, I am your host, Alistair Justin Black, and welcome to Theatre in the Black.

[0:15] Alistair Justin Black: Theater in the Black in Kahoots with the Afro Existential Podcast welcomes your apprehensive listening.

[0:23] Alistair Justin Black: As we present part one of the audio podcast play Deadweight, a journey in Afro Existentialism.

[0:32] Alistair Justin Black: It is a black comedy about an old American family trying to move up in the world.

[0:38] Alistair Justin Black: And it was written especially for Theatre and the Black by Blaine Teamer.

[0:43] Alistair Justin Black: It is brought to you in part by new and improved Afroexistential Sheen Shampoo and Deep Conditioner.

[0:51] Alistair Justin Black: Get it today. And that's no lie.

[1:04] Alistair Justin Black: Every day I struggle with caring. I don't wanna have to struggle with my hair.

[1:11] Alistair Justin Black: Get new and improved Afro Existential Sheen Shampoo and Reconditioner.

[1:17] Alistair Justin Black: Oh. It goes deep into your roots and uncovers the natural beauty that's been there all the time.

[1:24] Alistair Justin Black: Yeah. Every day I live the struggle. I don't wanna have to struggle with my hair.

[1:30] Alistair Justin Black: And for added projection on those curling games, there is Afro Existential Sheen Super Holding Hairspray.

[1:39] Alistair Justin Black: A protein-based hairspray that holds your hair back, but won't hold you back.

[1:45] Alistair Justin Black: I don't even have to take my earrings off. I hate to think where I'd be without it.

[1:51] Alistair Justin Black: Afro Existential Sheen Shampoo, Reconditioner, and Relaxer. Get it today, your roots will thank you. And that's no lie.

[2:09] Alistair Justin Black: There will always be certain people who engage in self-deception to evade responsibility for their own actions.

[2:18] Alistair Justin Black: Actually, it's quite the pandemic today. People will go to any length to avoid the truth of their own reality.

[2:27] Alistair Justin Black: French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called this mauvaise foi, or bad faith. In other words, people just be front.

[2:37] Alistair Justin Black: Now a perfect example can be found in the small Los Angeles apartment of the Mulligan family.

[2:44] Alistair Justin Black: As our story opens, you will find Brady, the father, in front of the TV, as his wife Georgina is aimlessly trying to have a conversation with him as she makes cakes for her church's fundraiser.

[2:57] Alistair Justin Black: Oh, and one thing you should note about Georgina Mulligan is that she is a woman that likes to finish what she starts.

[3:06] Georgina Mulligan: Brady, sweetheart, did I tell you what my two trivial prayers were today?

[3:12] Brady Mulligan: Um, I prayed that you'd have a change of heart about Ollie's day.

[3:18] Georgina Mulligan: And look, you really did. Oh, my other trivial prayer was oh, wait, wait, wait.

[3:27] Alistair Justin Black: And once again, the 300 million dollar Powerball numbers are three, six, twenty-one, sixty, sixty-eight.

[3:37] Georgina Mulligan: Sweetie, did you check your tickets to see if you finally won?

[3:41] Brady Mulligan: I guess if you did, you wouldn't be sitting over there, huh?

[3:45] Georgina Mulligan: Where will we go? It'd be so nice to get out of here and see the world again.

[3:51] Georgina Mulligan: Barely remember the last time we left this place. Helen posted pictures on Facebook.

[3:56] Georgina Mulligan: Too many, if you ask me, of their trip to Monaco. I don't need to see her old ugly dancer's feet overlooking an otherwise perfectly beautiful beach.

[4:06] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, anyway. I read where most people end up blowing all their lottery winnings and end up right back where they started.

[4:14] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, your show is on.

[4:17] Brady Mulligan: Who the hell did I marry?

[4:19] Alistair Justin Black: This time. Shocking secret.

[4:34] Alistair Justin Black: A penis! Victoria used to be Victor.

[4:39] Alistair Justin Black: Poor Donald. Didn't see it coming.

[4:43] Georgina Mulligan: Mmm. This ice. Mm-hmm. It's delicious.

[4:49] Georgina Mulligan: Freddy, I know you're over there thinking. Is she really over there decorating a cake?

[4:53] Georgina Mulligan: You know how I am. I always have to finish what I start.

[4:57] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, your show is on. It's who's that baby's daddy day on the Alex Winter Show.

[5:06] Alistair Justin Black: It's Alice Winter. Who's that, baby's daddy?

[5:13] Alistair Justin Black: Hello, everyone. On today's show, we are looking at sibling rivalry.

[5:19] Alistair Justin Black: Welcome, Colt. Colt says his fiancée Brittany cheated on him with her stepfather Gunner.

[5:28] Alistair Justin Black: Now, he doesn't know if little Magnum is his baby. But wait, that's not all.

[5:36] Alistair Justin Black: Brittany's stepfather just happens to be Colt's twin brother Gunner. Let's meet Colt's fiancée.

[5:44] Alistair Justin Black: Please give a warm welcome to Brittany. Who's that baby's daddy? Who's that baby's daddy?

[5:53] Brittany: Y'all don't know me. Y'all do not even know me.

[5:58] Brittany: Yeah, right. Huh. Y'all, be quiet. It's a damn lie, Alex.

[6:03] Brittany: He was spreading fake news. It's fake news.

[6:07] Brittany: He knows he's that baby's daddy. Alex! Alex! Alex!

[6:12] Alex Winter: Yes, Brittany, I'm right here. Please let her speak.

[6:17] Brittany: Go ahead. Alex, he's spreading fake news, and he needs to build a huge wall around his lies so he can keep his lies away from my border because they are foreign to me and my baby.

[6:30] Alex Winter: Okay. That baby don't look nothing like me. Look at his ears. Look at his nose. He look like my brother Gunner.

[6:37] Alex Winter: Your twin brother Gunner? Don't twins tend to look alike?

[6:43] Brittany: Don't he sound stupid, Alex? Y'all, ain't he stupid? Him and his brother, they twins.

[6:53] Brittany: Colt, why do you think he would sleep with his stepdaughter, your fiancée, and his future sister-in-law?

[7:01] Colt: Even as kids, he was always jealous of me, Alex. Always.

[7:06] Colt: If little baby Magnum is your son or nephew, I hope you two can work it out. Because either way, you are family.

[7:17] Alex Winter: Here are the results. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

[7:21] Colt: Tell the truth and shame the devil, Alex. That's all I know.

[7:25] Alex Winter: Here we go. When it comes to three-month-old baby Magnum, I guess.

[7:33] Alex Winter: You are shooting blanks, Colt, because you are not that baby's father.

[7:39] Colt: Oh god! Oh god! Oh god, I am so sorry. Oh God!

[7:47] Brittany: Don't call on God now. He has blocked your number.

[7:51] Georgina Mulligan: I swear, Brady. I don't know how you watch this horrible show.

[7:56] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, when did other people's misery become entertainment?

[8:03] Oliver Mulligan: Ma, did you find it?

[8:06] Georgina Mulligan: Oliver, you becoming like those women on that hoarder show. What's it called?

[8:10] Oliver Mulligan: What?

[8:11] Georgina Mulligan: Hoarders? If it's not there, then it's up here in this old trunk.

[8:16] Georgina Mulligan: Here, let me look through that. Brady, I guess I just didn't want Oliver to leave.

[8:22] Georgina Mulligan: He belongs here with us. But Brady, maybe something good can come of it.

[8:28] Georgina Mulligan: Now he can stay, right? Don't you think that would be okay now? I mean, considering.

[8:35] Georgina Mulligan: Did I tell you what my second trivial prayer was? I prayed that we could take a little staycation.

[8:42] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe the four seasons in Beverly Hills. I mean, we would wait till everything is sorted out with you, of course, but I really think it would be so good for us.

[8:53] Georgina Mulligan: We need to get out of here. Don't you think? Brady.

[8:58] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, look at what I found in this old trunk. Oh, look at this picture.

[9:05] Georgina Mulligan: It's my first music video. Remember? How did that beautiful young girl end up stuck here?

[9:15] Georgina Mulligan: Oh now. Look at this, Brady. Our wedding album. This is how she ended up here.

[9:23] Georgina Mulligan: Look at me. So pretty in that white veil and straight jacket.

[9:28] Georgina Mulligan: Aw, look at this. Oliver's christening gown. Wasn't he sweet?

[9:35] Oliver Mulligan: I found it. What's that white stuff on your face?

[9:39] Georgina Mulligan: Oliver Mulligan. Have you been sneaking into my cake batter? Huh?

[9:43] Oliver Mulligan: Uh what? Uh oh, oh yes, I must have got must have gotten some flour on me.

[9:47] Oliver Mulligan: Uh who were you talking to? Huh?

[9:50] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I was just saying to your father that maybe we can take a family staycation.

[9:55] Georgina Mulligan: The three of us? Huh? How the hell would all three of us go?

[10:00] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, Oliver, I know your daddy's. I know he's dead.

[10:09] Georgina Mulligan: Thank God. Not that he's dead. I mean, good that you know he's dead and not talking to him like he's not dead.

[10:16] Oliver Mulligan: Seriously, Ma, I couldn't handle daddy dying tonight. And you going 5150 all in the same night.

[10:21] Georgina Mulligan: You just don't stop talking to someone after 26 years of marriage.

[10:24] Oliver Mulligan: You know, I begged him not to kick you out. Not that he listened to me when he was alive.

[10:29] Georgina Mulligan: It all happens to me. So fast, didn't it?

[10:32] Oliver Mulligan: You really did. I mean one minute he was alive, and the next minute he was dead. Just like that.

[10:39] Georgina Mulligan: We argue all the time, and it never. I mean, do you think that's what killed him?

[10:45] Oliver Mulligan: You know, our arguing all over. Probably so.

[10:49] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, oh, I mean, no. I mean, it didn't help. I mean, it didn't add any years to his life, is what I'm trying to say.

[10:56] Oliver Mulligan: I get it. I it didn't help. I get it. Whatever you do, honey, don't blame yourself.

[11:02] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, if I had been here when he was choking to death, I would have done the Heimlich and saved him.

[11:06] Oliver Mulligan: But like you said, it happened so fast. I went across the street to get some eggs for my cake, and I came back and daddy was dead.

[11:14] Georgina Mulligan: You didn't hear him choking?

[11:16] Oliver Mulligan: If I saw her daddy choking, I wouldn't have let daddy choke.

[11:20] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I know. It's not your fault.

[11:23] Oliver Mulligan: Did you have your earphones on? Sometimes I'll be yelling for you. You can't hear me.

[11:28] Georgina Mulligan: I hear you. Huh? What was that?

[11:29] Oliver Mulligan: No, I didn't have my earphones on.

[11:32] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, oh, okay. It's not your fault.

[11:35] Oliver Mulligan: You hear me now? It's not. He'd get that horrible fried chicken from churches.

[11:42] Georgina Mulligan: You can't tell a thigh from a wing. And he'd eat it like it was his last meal.

[11:46] Oliver Mulligan: And I guess it was, wasn't it?

[11:48] Georgina Mulligan: Well, look on the bright side. In his obituary, you can spin it and say he loved to visit various churches and had visited his favorite one the night he passed.

[11:57] Oliver Mulligan: Always talking with food in his mouth. And who wants to see that? Now look what happened.

[12:01] Georgina Mulligan: He choked on his chicken. You know, it's one of seven deadly sins.

[12:06] Oliver Mulligan: What?

[12:07] Georgina Mulligan: Choking on your chicken?

[12:08] Oliver Mulligan: Gluttony. It's a sin.

[12:09] Georgina Mulligan: But God knows your daddy had a good heart.

[12:13] Oliver Mulligan: He was so lucky to get a heart transplant from that surfer.

[12:16] Georgina Mulligan: That's not what I meant, Oliver.

[12:18] Oliver Mulligan: But wasn't that a waste of money? Now that I think about it.

[12:20] Georgina Mulligan: I meant he was a good person. Despite all the heartache he caused me.

[12:28] Georgina Mulligan: I need you to help me pick out a nice suit for your father's homecoming.

[12:32] Oliver Mulligan: Anything you want. But can we stick a pen in that for a minute?

[12:36] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, shoot. I need you to take my cakes to church for.

[12:39] Oliver Mulligan: Seriously? They'd understand if you don't give them a cake this year.

[12:42] Georgina Mulligan: I need you to focus.

[12:44] Oliver Mulligan: Focus on what?

[12:45] Georgina Mulligan: I always make a cake for the fundraiser.

[12:47] Oliver Mulligan: Okay, I'll get the cakes there. Listen.

[12:49] Georgina Mulligan: I found the life insurance policy you asked me to look for.

[12:52] Oliver Mulligan: It's all paid up and current, the policy, right?

[12:55] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, give it here.

[12:57] Oliver Mulligan: Yes. Remember how your Aunt Kitty used to always make jokes about Uncle Rusty.

[13:02] Georgina Mulligan: Being so old, and she took out all those insurance policies on him?

[13:05] Oliver Mulligan: Yeah. She said she was gonna live it up like the Queen of Sheba when he was dead.

[13:10] Georgina Mulligan: Then she cackled like an old hen.

[13:15] Oliver Mulligan: No, and then she got hit by a truck on the set of blessed by an angel.

[13:19] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, I know. Listen.

[13:21] Oliver Mulligan: Well, after all that cackling she did, it turned out she didn't keep up the payments.

[13:26] Georgina Mulligan: Are you serious? He got all that money after she died?

[13:29] Oliver Mulligan: Only because she got killed working on the set of blessed by an angel.

[13:34] Georgina Mulligan: Well, the angel went and blessed your Uncle Rusty. So I always made sure I kept our policies up to date.

[13:41] Oliver Mulligan: Where's the coroner? Did you tell them your father was dead?

[13:44] Georgina Mulligan: Uh, that's the first requirement for the coroner to come.

[13:47] Oliver Mulligan: Do they take their time if the person is already dead?

[13:50] Georgina Mulligan: All the people they pick up are dead. I wonder what's taking them so long.

[13:54] Oliver Mulligan: I swear they are slower than the second coming of the Lord.

[13:57] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I haven't called uh yet.

[13:59] Oliver Mulligan: What? Why not?

[14:01] Georgina Mulligan: You told me to look for the insurance policy.

[14:03] Oliver Mulligan: After you called.

[14:05] Georgina Mulligan: I can't depend on you for anything.

[14:07] Oliver Mulligan: Let's you can't. Ma, listen.

[14:10] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, this policy says you get $500,000.

[14:16] Oliver Mulligan: Didn't I tell you not to look at it?

[14:18] Georgina Mulligan: Did you? I guess in the rush to find it, I I am the rush, but you had time to read it.

[14:24] Oliver Mulligan: It also says that I'm a beneficiary and I get $50,000.

[14:29] Georgina Mulligan: Does it now?

[14:30] Oliver Mulligan: It does. It says right here, Mama. See?

[14:33] Georgina Mulligan: Well, I guess now you really are gonna leave.

[14:37] Oliver Mulligan: That was the plan all along, right? Daddy was putting me out on the street in the middle of the night like you do trash.

[14:43] Georgina Mulligan: Daddy isn't here anymore, sweetheart. I mean, once a corner comes, he won't be over there anymore.

[14:48] Oliver Mulligan: I've given it a lot of thought.

[14:50] Georgina Mulligan: A lot of thought? How? Your daddy just died.

[14:54] Oliver Mulligan: Remember when I did the GoFundMe campaign so I could go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity to help those poor people?

[15:00] Georgina Mulligan: I don't remember that at all.

[15:02] Oliver Mulligan: Come on. Yes, you do. Really, how could you forget that?

[15:05] Georgina Mulligan: What I remember is you getting arrested and using the funds for your bail.

[15:10] Oliver Mulligan: My point is, I thought I'd be going down there and teaching the poor people something.

[15:14] Georgina Mulligan: But those poor people taught me something so valuable about myself.

[15:17] Oliver Mulligan: What?

[15:18] Georgina Mulligan: I learned I do not want to be poor.

[15:21] Oliver Mulligan: Really? And not only that.

[15:24] Georgina Mulligan: There's more. Daddy said I was a horrible person, and he was right.

[15:28] Oliver Mulligan: I am sense. God doesn't make mistakes.

[15:32] Georgina Mulligan: Never?

[15:32] Oliver Mulligan: I think maybe he does. I think he makes a lot of mistakes.

[15:36] Georgina Mulligan: I think he makes a lot of mistakes on purpose.

[15:38] Oliver Mulligan: You're just feeling this way because you were here when he choked to death, and you feel responsible.

[15:43] Georgina Mulligan: And now you're thinking about leaving me all alone. Huh?

[15:46] Oliver Mulligan: Wait, hold. Hold. I don't feel responsible for his death.

[15:50] Georgina Mulligan: You said he died from choking on his chicken.

[15:52] Oliver Mulligan: This might be the catalyst I need to get out of here and try to make something of myself.

[15:57] Georgina Mulligan: Otherwise, I feel like I'll be stuck here forever. Maybe it's not too late.

[16:05] Oliver Mulligan: I understand.

[16:06] Georgina Mulligan: You really mean that.

[16:09] Oliver Mulligan: Wait, this isn't like reverse psychology, is it? Something you saw on Dr. Phil?

[16:14] Georgina Mulligan: No. I vaguely recall being young once. I was gonna be a prima ballerina like your Aunt Helen, but I chose instead to raise you.

[16:23] Oliver Mulligan: Go. Go be all you can be.

[16:28] Georgina Mulligan: Thank you, Ma. I'm just glad your daddy didn't die at work.

[16:33] Oliver Mulligan: Boy, oh boy. I'd probably never see you again.

[16:37] Georgina Mulligan: You be living in the south of France somewhere with all that money.

[16:42] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, where should I send your $50,000 check to?

[16:45] Georgina Mulligan: Why? Wait, what was that? You didn't say where you were going. Where can I mail it?

[16:51] Oliver Mulligan: Wait, why are you glad he didn't die at work?

[16:53] Georgina Mulligan: I thought you read the policy.

[16:59] Oliver Mulligan: Well, goddamn! If he would have choked on his chicken at work, I'd have gotten 150,000.

[17:05] Georgina Mulligan: Don't use the Lord's name in vain. Your father was always at work. Or that's where he said he was. Who knows where he was, really? Or with whom? No good lying bastard.

[17:16] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, snap! You get a million dollars! I hope you at least stick around for the funeral.

[17:23] Georgina Mulligan: If not, I need to get my lie together now to explain why you're not at your father's funeral.

[17:27] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, is the peace course still a thing? Maybe I'll say that you couldn't get back from the Congo in time.

[17:32] Georgina Mulligan: Where's the Congo exactly? It's far, right? I don't want to keep you here stuck just on account of this money. Now go!

[17:39] Oliver Mulligan: I'll make sure you get it.

[17:41] Georgina Mulligan: Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I mean, what kind of son would I be if I wasn't at my own father's funeral?

[17:48] Oliver Mulligan: What I'm saying is you don't have to stick around. I can mail you the check. Just write down the address, but put it where I can remember to find it. I'm taking those ginkgo supplements from my memory, but after time I forget to take them.

[17:59] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, are you trying to get rid of me now or what?

[18:02] Oliver Mulligan: You know better than that. I just want what's best for you. Isn't that all a mother ever wants for her child?

[18:10] Georgina Mulligan: Don't think twice about us. Well, me, actually. I really think your father died at home just to spite me.

[18:18] Oliver Mulligan: Hmm. I have half a mind to just put your father in the car and drop him off at that video store.

[18:24] Georgina Mulligan: We'd both be rich. Uh, can you please call the coroner now? So he's ready in time for his own funeral.

[18:31] Oliver Mulligan: Mother, what did you just say? Can you call the coroner before the funeral?

[18:36] Georgina Mulligan: That's funny. No, before that. Oh, I don't know. Um, put your father in the car and drop him off at work and collect that money?

[18:46] Oliver Mulligan: Better yet, maybe we could call him an Uber.

[18:49] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, that's that's that. Well, what about it?

[18:53] Oliver Mulligan: Yes, what about it, mother? What about it? What are you saying?

[18:59] Georgina Mulligan: I'm saying just what you just said.

[19:02] Oliver Mulligan: I didn't say anything. I I I was just joking, Oliver.

[19:06] Georgina Mulligan: You always said there's a lot of truth in a joke.

[19:08] Oliver Mulligan: Not this time. This time would be the time, mother.

[19:13] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, would it be so bad if we moved daddy from spot A to spot B?

[19:17] Oliver Mulligan: If spot C was jail, yes, it would be so bad. Like going to jail for insurance fraud, bad.

[19:22] Georgina Mulligan: You think? Really? That bad?

[19:25] Oliver Mulligan: I mean. I am not going to drag your father's dead body down Olympic Boulevard in the middle of the night, Oliver.

[19:33] Georgina Mulligan: Ma, we are three miles from a million dollars. That's like 333k a mile. I could definitely do it for that. No problem. And looky, Ma Ways is saying it'll take 15 minutes to get there.

[19:45] Oliver Mulligan: Where's my phone? I'm calling the corner right now.

[19:50] Georgina Mulligan: Give me my phone, Oliver. We are not that type of people.

[19:55] Oliver Mulligan: I'm that person for a lot less money than this. Trust me.

[19:58] Georgina Mulligan: Well, that's not how we raised you, Oliver Mulligan.

[20:01] Oliver Mulligan: Well, that's how I turned out, Georgina Mulligan. This could give us our old life back, Ma. Isn't that what he would have wanted for us? Or at least for you.

[20:11] Georgina Mulligan: Your father? Brady Mulligan?

[20:14] Oliver Mulligan: Ha ha! Don't make me laugh.

[20:16] Georgina Mulligan: No, not at all. No good line fast.

[20:19] Oliver Mulligan: Okay, true, but isn't that even more reason to do it? You get that last laugh, and I'm talking a million dollar belly laugh.

[20:29] Georgina Mulligan: Give me my phone, Ollie. It's starting to stink around here. And I swear I don't know if it's your daddy or you.

[20:36] Oliver Mulligan: It's the stink of poverty, and I smell it on all of us. I should have never told you that you get all that money if he died at work.

[20:43] Georgina Mulligan: I should have just mailed you the check.

[20:45] Oliver Mulligan: Why did you? Why did you tell me?

[20:47] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't know where to mail it.

[20:50] Oliver Mulligan: Jesus, what was I thinking?

[20:53] Georgina Mulligan: I think you knew. I think you knew exactly what you were doing.

[20:58] Oliver Mulligan: What? That's why you sent me to look for it.

[21:01] Georgina Mulligan: You knew. How could I know you'd want to move your father's dead body around town?

[21:05] Oliver Mulligan: For God's sake, we're not doing a pub crawl.

[21:08] Georgina Mulligan: It's three miles down the street. Greedy is another one of the seven deadly sins, Oliver.

[21:13] Oliver Mulligan: I know. Gluttony, greed, lust, wrath, sloth, envy, pride.

[21:18] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, there's one more. What is it?

[21:20] Oliver Mulligan: It's poverty. And here in the city of Los Angeles, only the poor are punished for it.

[21:25] Georgina Mulligan: Have you no moral compass?

[21:29] Oliver Mulligan: Since he was kicking me out on the street tonight, my moral GPS may not be working. Especially since I didn't know where the hell I was going to end up after I was thrown out.

[21:37] Georgina Mulligan: I would have never let him throw you out. My box is stacked by the door, tell a different story.

[21:41] Oliver Mulligan: You are going to get $50,000, Ollie, and you still want to do it. Why are you acting so daft?

[21:46] Georgina Mulligan: Doesn't everyone want more money, mother? I know you do.

[21:50] Oliver Mulligan: Give me five minutes. If you don't want me to do it after that, I'll call the coroner.

[21:57] Georgina Mulligan: I swear to God.

[21:59] Oliver Mulligan: The atheist is swearing to God. That's the problem, Oliver.

[22:03] Georgina Mulligan: That's your damn problem. You don't believe in anything.

[22:06] Oliver Mulligan: Okay, then I swear on Daddy's grave.

[22:09] Georgina Mulligan: On Daddy's grave. He's not in his grave yet.

[22:12] Oliver Mulligan: Because you won't give me my phone to call the coroner.

[22:15] Georgina Mulligan: Give me five minutes. And if we do it, I'll stay for good.

[22:18] Oliver Mulligan: You are wasting your breath. You always said daddy dragged us down to this hellhole after he gambled our beautiful house away that your father built.

[22:30] Georgina Mulligan: And you know I have nothing against these poor people down here. It's just that I grew up in Hancock Park, and now look at us, living hand to mouth.

[22:40] Oliver Mulligan: He put us here with all his lies and mendacity.

[22:48] Georgina Mulligan: But that's all in the past. Since I got saved and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I forgave him for gambling away the house my father built.

[23:02] Oliver Mulligan: Did you? Really? I mean, really.

[23:05] Georgina Mulligan: I did. I really did. Thank you very much.

[23:12] Oliver Mulligan: Listen. Maybe the two of us can pool our insurance money and get a little house in Hancock Park together.

[23:21] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, please, Mother. Maybe a two-bedroom condo in Hancock Park adjacent, adjacent, which is Koreatown.

[23:28] Oliver Mulligan: That money will be gone in two years, tops. Think about it.

[23:31] Georgina Mulligan: You're not gonna have daddy's income anymore from the video store to fall back on.

[23:35] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, why don't you run it? I mean, you can run it.

[23:37] Georgina Mulligan: You want me to run a video store? What is this, 1998?

[23:40] Oliver Mulligan: Plus, you know I'm trying to finish writing my novel. And it's hard to create great work when you have to work.

[23:48] Georgina Mulligan: You don't even like saying that word, do you? Work.

[23:53] Oliver Mulligan: You make it sound like a four-letter word.

[23:55] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, it is a four-letter word. Mother, none of the great writers had to deal with poverty and try to be brilliant at the same time.

[24:03] Oliver Mulligan: I mean, I know Fitzgerald, but dare I say I fall somewhere between Danielle Steele and Paris Hilton.

[24:08] Georgina Mulligan: Paris Hilton is an author?

[24:10] Oliver Mulligan: Yes! See what I'm saying? I'm not blaming you, mother. But but but what?

[24:15] Georgina Mulligan: Don't you think we've suffered enough for your poor marital choice?

[24:21] Oliver Mulligan: When I met him, he owned two video stores. After we were married, with my help, we had opened ten blockbusters.

[24:32] Georgina Mulligan: Ten! He was king of the world, or rather Ramsey's and I was his nephotari. But then came Netflix, and those damn little red envelopes delivered to every door.

[24:47] Oliver Mulligan: Like the red plague in Exodus, killing our business. Then just like he did in the Bible, God took away our kingdom, and now my firstborn.

[24:58] Georgina Mulligan: What I'm hearing is that you've been living his dream and he gambled yours away.

[25:02] Oliver Mulligan: That's exactly what happened.

[25:04] Georgina Mulligan: You know I danced the part of Yes, the part of Bluebird.

[25:08] Oliver Mulligan: Firebird.

[25:09] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, yes, Firebird. I meant firebird.

[25:11] Oliver Mulligan: All those years with your own potential, bottled like a shaken soda pot.

[25:19] Georgina Mulligan: Like a caged bird.

[25:20] Oliver Mulligan: Caged bird, yes.

[25:21] Georgina Mulligan: That's a much better metaphor.

[25:23] Oliver Mulligan: A caged firebird.

[25:25] Georgina Mulligan: Now you are free to fly away in first class and not in coach.

[25:31] Oliver Mulligan: Hey, I bet your sister doesn't even have to fly a coach.

[25:35] Georgina Mulligan: Only coach she knows is the one that hangs from her arm.

[25:39] Oliver Mulligan: Don't you at least deserve to fly business class?

[25:42] Georgina Mulligan: At least. I know it's a horrible thing to say.

[25:45] Oliver Mulligan: Look around. There's nobody here but us three.

[25:47] Georgina Mulligan: And he ain't listening.

[25:49] Oliver Mulligan: Ollie, I never envisioned myself being not rich.

[25:54] Georgina Mulligan: I just wasn't prepared for this. I just don't identify with not being rich.

[26:01] Oliver Mulligan: Does that make sense?

[26:02] Georgina Mulligan: It most certainly does.

[26:04] Oliver Mulligan: And neither do I, mother. You know what we are, mother?

[26:07] Georgina Mulligan: We're trans affluent.

[26:10] Oliver Mulligan: Hmm. Trans what?

[26:12] Georgina Mulligan: You know how you have your transgenders, people whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex, right?

[26:19] Oliver Mulligan: Mm-hmm.

[26:20] Georgina Mulligan: If you say so.

[26:22] Oliver Mulligan: I don't say so. That's what they say.

[26:24] Georgina Mulligan: They feel like they belong to the opposite of what they are. Isn't that us? Isn't that us, dammit?

[26:30] Oliver Mulligan: No. Not at all.

[26:32] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, it is. Listen, we feel like we belong with affluent people, and we don't identify with being poor. So we are trans affluence.

[26:42] Oliver Mulligan: You just made that nonsense up.

[26:46] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, but somebody said they were transracial. You remember that lady?

[26:50] Oliver Mulligan: Yes.

[26:51] Georgina Mulligan: Now that's a thing. Transracial. She came out white as cotton, got some cornrows, a spray tan, said she was black and got a Netflix special.

[27:00] Oliver Mulligan: So why can't we be trans-affluent?

[27:02] Georgina Mulligan: Well, I guess, but what I'm trying to say is that look, I go to church and I was saved. I took care of our sick mother until the end. I was a devoted wife. I tried to be a good mother. Didn't I try? Don't I deserve something more than nothing?

[27:19] Oliver Mulligan: People don't get what they deserve, mother.

[27:21] Georgina Mulligan: True.

[27:22] Oliver Mulligan: Yes. People don't get what they deserve.

[27:25] Georgina Mulligan: God knows that's true.

[27:27] Oliver Mulligan: Wait. What do you mean?

[27:29] Georgina Mulligan: You get what you can get away with getting. And that has nothing to do with what you deserve.

[27:34] Oliver Mulligan: You think the black people picking cotton deserve to be slaves?

[27:37] Georgina Mulligan: No.

[27:38] Oliver Mulligan: No, is right. But guess what?

[27:39] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[27:40] Oliver Mulligan: The cotton sure got picked, didn't it?

[27:42] Georgina Mulligan: But moving your father's dead body, it's just wrong.

[27:46] Oliver Mulligan: Let me tell you something. That cotton got picked and right and wrong didn't have nothing to say about it. So maybe it's the wrong thing to do at the right time.

[27:56] Georgina Mulligan: You sound like a fortune cookie.

[27:58] Oliver Mulligan: What does that mean?

[28:00] Georgina Mulligan: I don't know, but I do know you've done the right thing all your life. Maybe we can do something wrong just once.

[28:10] Oliver Mulligan: Well, I do wrong stuff all the time, but you could do it once and get our old lifestyle back. No one's going to give it to us.

[28:18] Georgina Mulligan: You are talking insurance fraud. They'll do an investigation. I mean, just because you are used to jail doesn't mean I am.

[28:26] Oliver Mulligan: I'm familiar with jail.

[28:28] Georgina Mulligan: I'm not yet used to it, mother.

[28:30] Oliver Mulligan: I'm sorry, Oliver. I can't put a price on my freedom.

[28:34] Georgina Mulligan: I can. And I'm looking at the number. It's $150,000.

[28:39] Oliver Mulligan: Maybe we could pool our money and buy a really nice place together in Hancock Park. I'm sure one of those old biddies over there is about to kick the bucket. We could get a nice deal.

[28:46] Georgina Mulligan: Together.

[28:49] Oliver Mulligan: Together forever. With this kind of money.

[28:54] Georgina Mulligan: It's all so sudden. And I know it's wrong, but he is dead.

[29:00] Oliver Mulligan: I agree. He is most certainly dead.

[29:03] Georgina Mulligan: What does he care, right?

[29:04] Oliver Mulligan: He literally could not care less.

[29:06] Georgina Mulligan: If I only had a sign from God.

[29:09] Oliver Mulligan: Seriously? You want God to call you on your cell phone and say, Georgina, you got this.

[29:14] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, he works in a mysterious way. I need to pray.

[29:17] Oliver Mulligan: No, better yet. What are you doing?

[29:20] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, please don't get my own Ouija board.

[29:24] Oliver Mulligan: I need advice from our ancestors on the other side.

[29:27] Georgina Mulligan: You barrel to your phone when your ancestors on this side call you.

[29:31] Oliver Mulligan: I don't always recognize the number. Does this Ouija board come with the caller ID?

[29:35] Georgina Mulligan: Put your fingertips on. Don't cheat.

[29:36] Oliver Mulligan: Okay. Now shut up.

[29:39] Georgina Mulligan: Hush!

[29:41] Oliver Mulligan: Ouija board.

[29:43] Georgina Mulligan: Are you ready to begin? Give me a sign. Give me a sign. Give me a sign.

[29:54] Oliver Mulligan: It's a sign.

[29:56] Georgina Mulligan: Oh my god. Oh, Jesus! I need to. It's not the father or his son. It's Uncle Todd.

[30:03] Oliver Mulligan: Why in the hell is he calling your father? Let it go to voicemail.

[30:07] Georgina Mulligan: Put it back in your father's pocket. Oh, look at these. God bless him.

[30:11] Oliver Mulligan: What's that?

[30:12] Georgina Mulligan: It's his lotto tickets. I guess today wasn't his lucky day.

[30:16] Oliver Mulligan: Oh God. Who is this?

[30:19] Georgina Mulligan: It's Helen.

[30:21] Oliver Mulligan: What does she want? Are you gonna answer it?

[30:23] Georgina Mulligan: Lord. Then you can't get her off the phone. Daddy, I'll have rigor mortars by the time she finishes yipping and yapping.

[30:31] Oliver Mulligan: Hey, Helen!

[30:33] Helen: I'm downstairs. Todd just dropped me off. Let me in before I have to make somebody.

[30:40] Georgina Mulligan: Hell Helen, now is not mine.

[30:43] Helen: Your neighbor is coming out. Hi.

[30:47] Georgina Mulligan: Have we met? Are you visiting someone?

[30:50] Helen: You see, I have to be very careful why that is.

[30:53] Georgina Mulligan: I understand. Yes, my sister.

[30:56] Helen: What now?

[31:01] Helen: Hello. This is Helen. And it's a great day to be alive.

[31:08] Georgina Mulligan: She's on her way up. You said you wanted a sign.

[31:18] Oliver Mulligan: Well, it looks like the only sign Oliver will need is a big fat money sign. And will Georgina's ancestors answer her call? Or if they blocked her number.

[31:34] Oliver Mulligan: Vine doubt after a brief message from our sponsor.

[31:41] Georgina Mulligan: She's on her way up. You said you wanted a sign. But is it a sign to do it or not to do it? What do you think I should do?

[31:50] Oliver Mulligan: Mother, have you heard of the term asshole?

[31:53] Georgina Mulligan: Don't talk about your Aunt Helen that way.

[31:55] Oliver Mulligan: Not in listen. The gig is up, so we should call the coroner now.

[32:00] Georgina Mulligan: You're right. Okay, let's move him. And when she leaves, I'll decide. But we got to get rid of her quick. Where should we move, Daddy?

[32:10] Oliver Mulligan: The closet.

[32:10] Georgina Mulligan: She may try and hang up her coat, being nosy.

[32:14] Oliver Mulligan: No, no, no. Put him in the steamer trunk. She'd never look in there. And I can lock it.

[32:19] Georgina Mulligan: And that is what we refer to as an asshole. He can be rolled out in that. If we don't do it, we can just dump him back out.

[32:28] Oliver Mulligan: I mean, lift him back out, not dump. I mean, if you think that would work.

[32:33] Georgina Mulligan: I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.

[32:36] Oliver Mulligan: Sounds like you do know what to do. I'll get his legs. Let's get him in this trunk, okay?

[32:41] Georgina Mulligan: Okay, on three.

[32:42] Oliver Mulligan: Okay. One, two, three. Take the stairs. Cut her off before she comes up.

[32:49] Georgina Mulligan: Got it. The stairs. What should I tell her?

[32:52] Oliver Mulligan: You can't think of a lie?

[32:55] Georgina Mulligan: Seriously. Tell her I'm sick. Tell her I just entered the witness protection program. I got abducted by UFO.

[33:01] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, just don't let her come up here.

[33:05] Georgina Mulligan: Okay. Ooh, what's this? Another ticket.

[33:08] Oliver Mulligan: The money you wasted on these stupid lotto tickets. What good they do us.

[33:21] Herb Gossing: Herb Gossing here. Welcome back to Celebrity Gossip Dude. So last week, Pop Princess, Marissa J overdosed at the Roscoe chicken and waffles in Los Angeles.

[33:33] Herb Gossing: By the way, I love their chicken and waffle. We were the first to post the pictures of the pop princess dead on the throne, so to speak.

[33:43] Herb Gossing: And we have exclusive pictures of her in a cast. We'll have those pictures when you break don't horrible.

[33:53] Georgina Mulligan: I don't want to see her in the casket.

[33:58] Oliver Mulligan: It's Helen. Did I tell him not to let Helen come up here?

[34:06] Helen: Hi. My husband has been blowing up your husband's phone. Where's Brady?

[34:14] Georgina Mulligan: Who are you looking down the hall for? He's not coming up.

[34:19] Helen: No, he is. He'll be back.

[34:21] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, my Todd? I said he just dropped me off.

[34:26] Helen: No. Ollie. He just went down the stairs to meet you.

[34:30] Georgina Mulligan: Why? I took the stairs up. I didn't see him.

[34:34] Helen: He didn't take.

[34:39] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't want you to climb 13 flights to have to turn back around and leave.

[34:44] Helen: I just got here. I have to catch my breath. Why do I have to turn back around?

[34:50] Georgina Mulligan: Girl, this coat closet. You don't believe in letting anything go, do you?

[34:56] Helen: Is that your old girl? It's none of my business.

[35:01] Georgina Mulligan: What is up, people do? Oh, it smells so good in here. You baking cakes.

[35:05] Helen: By the way, did you get that other coach purse I sent you?

[35:11] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, thank you. It's beautiful. I'm not feeling very good. I think I may have caught a bug or something.

[35:20] Helen: I was about to go lie down.

[35:22] Georgina Mulligan: Good. You got it. You never mentioned it, so I didn't know if you got it. You know how people steal packages right off your front steps these days.

[35:30] Helen: Let me feel your forehead. You don't feel warm.

[35:34] Georgina Mulligan: Coach sponsored the gala at the Dorothy Chandler, so I asked for an extra one for you.

[35:40] Helen: Oh, there it is. It's not even in stores yet. It's cute, right?

[35:46] Georgina Mulligan: You're baking a cake while you're sick?

[35:50] Helen: Ha ha ha. I won't be eating any of that contaminated cake. Remember, mother used to say, birthday cake was the dirtiest cake in the world. People spitting all over it when they blow out the candles.

[36:03] Georgina Mulligan: She tickled me. It's not a birthday cake. And it's not for you. It's for the church fundraiser.

[36:11] Herb Gossing: It's on T. Welcome back to celebrities. So last week, Pop printed Marissa Jake overdosed at the Roscoe. Chicken and Wobble in Los Angeles.

[36:23] Herb Gossing: Someone she knew snapping pictures of her dead in the cast. We were afraid. You can't even rest in peace at your own view. It's horrid.

[36:34] Georgina Mulligan: And I mean the dress is nice. But that hair is a mess.

[36:38] Oliver Mulligan: No different from when she was alive. We'll have those pictures when we come back. You know, Lola knew her from school. She said she was really sweet before the drugs.

[36:47] Helen: Gina, now that you mention it, you do look kind of worn out. There is a virus going around. Do you have muscle and joint pain?

[36:55] Georgina Mulligan: Yes. I sure do. I should probably lie down.

[37:00] Helen: Wait, do you have malaise? Headache, mild fever?

[37:03] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, now that you mention it, I think I do.

[37:06] Helen: Don't lie down! Zika virus! I just heard about it all on NPR. They say whatever you do, don't lie down.

[37:14] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, or is that a concussion?

[37:16] Oliver Mulligan: I don't feel that bad, Helen.

[37:19] Helen: That's how the virus starts. I'm gonna go in this kitchen and boil you up this detoxification tea I have.

[37:25] Georgina Mulligan: I have some for my new shaman. You remember Randy, our old contractor. He put in the infinity, and I talked about him so bad because it took forever. Well, he changed his name to Takataka Kaboom. He's a certified shaman now. That Randy was an awful contractor, but Taca is a great shaman. He really is.

[37:48] Oliver Mulligan: Are these Duncan Hines box cakes? You making box cakes for the church funny?

[37:56] Georgina Mulligan: You are a piss. It's the fault that counts, right? Mind your business. Let me finish you, Mr. Grumpy, and I will be on my very way. It's supposed to get all the toxins out of you. So you might need the whole thing box.

[38:15] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, what are all these boxes over there?

[38:19] Georgina Mulligan: What boxes? Am I hallucinating? You don't see boxes stacked up by the door? Are you finally giving this old stuff to the goodwill? Thank goodness, all this clutter will make you sick.

[38:32] Oliver Mulligan: How about you just worry about your clutter? Oliver is moving out.

[38:38] Georgina Mulligan: What? Did you just say?

[38:40] Oliver Mulligan: Well, it's about time, isn't it? Wait. Moving out or getting kicked out. What did he do now?

[38:48] Georgina Mulligan: Nothing. He's writing again.

[38:53] Oliver Mulligan: What? Bad checks. Is that what he did again?

[38:57] Georgina Mulligan: No, thank God. He didn't do anything, Helen. A mother's love. Ain't nothing like it. Except glaucoma.

[39:04] Oliver Mulligan: Glaucoma? I'm not blind. He's not a bad person.

[39:09] Georgina Mulligan: No, just a bad thief. That's why he keeps going to jail. Brady and him got into a terrible fight about whatever it was he did. I was afraid Oliver might physically do him harm.

[39:21] Oliver Mulligan: Really? Oh, honey, Ollie wouldn't hurt a fly. He's too lazy. He'd steal the fly's wings, but only if the flies sat the wings down somewhere and stepped away.

[39:33] Georgina Mulligan: Just doesn't want to work. Brady tells him all the time. You act like you're afraid to get your hands dirty.

[39:39] Oliver Mulligan: He is. Speaking of Brady, where is he?

[39:44] Georgina Mulligan: At the video store. Working late. You know he's cluttering through his lotto tickets to see if he won, huh?

[39:53] Oliver Mulligan: You know I don't believe in that foolishness.

[39:55] Georgina Mulligan: Neither do I. I got mine though. I even bought some for my cleaning lady and my gardener. If they win, they better not quit. If Brady wins, he's gonna buy you a palace. I know how much you hate living on this side of town.

[40:10] Oliver Mulligan: I never said I hate living here.

[40:12] Georgina Mulligan: You say it every chance you get. I say, Gina. Wasn't it hot today? Then you'll say, it was worse over here, Helen. That's why I hate living over here.

[40:21] Oliver Mulligan: I guess it's grown on me since then.

[40:23] Georgina Mulligan: Since yesterday? You know this area is gonna flip soon. Mark my words. George Lucas is building a movie studio over here.

[40:33] Oliver Mulligan: Or is it a museum?

[40:35] Georgina Mulligan: It's a museum. This area is going to flip like a pancake. That's what they say.

[40:41] Oliver Mulligan: It's true, Gina. Have you noticed how homeless people now have great shoes?

[40:46] Georgina Mulligan: Yes. I saw one bag lady wearing a pair of what I am pretty sure were a pair of Louboutons, rare bottoms.

[40:53] Oliver Mulligan: They're not homeless. They're the hipsters taking over this area. They all like to look homeless. Don't ask me why.

[40:59] Georgina Mulligan: I was at an art opening over this way. Tall man walked in with long blonde hair, looking like Jesus on his 39th day in the desert. I said he's either homeless, coming off the street for free wine, or a Calvin Klein model coming off the runway.

[41:14] Oliver Mulligan: Which was he?

[41:15] Georgina Mulligan: They said he was some famous model, and he bought a purple smudge on a white canvas for $10,000. It looked like the artist accidentally dropped grape jelly on a tablecloth, and his art dealer said, waste not whatnot. Put a price tag on it. I'm telling you, now is the time to buy over here.

[41:32] Oliver Mulligan: Unfortunately, I'm not rich like you.

[41:35] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, shut up. We are both rich. We just circulate our money in different ways.

[41:40] Oliver Mulligan: Well, that's what you always say.

[41:42] Georgina Mulligan: It's true. Hey, we could buy a duplex together. We'd be investors. I could put the 20% down, and one tenant could cover the mortgage. You could live there free and just manage the property. Wouldn't that be great?

[41:57] Oliver Mulligan: I always wanted to be a slumlord.

[42:00] Georgina Mulligan: You'd rather just rent from one. Okay. Anyway, moving on. My husband was trying to call your husband.

[42:09] Oliver Mulligan: Why?

[42:09] Georgina Mulligan: He's excited about his new car.

[42:12] Oliver Mulligan: Well, he's not here.

[42:13] Georgina Mulligan: I can see he's not here, Georgina. Why are you so snippy? I'm trying to be nice.

[42:20] Oliver Mulligan: I'm I'm sorry, but I told you I wasn't feeling well, didn't I?

[42:26] Georgina Mulligan: Okay. Okay. You don't have to tell me twice. I can take a hint. I just had an ask for Lola's wedding. I told her I would do it.

[42:36] Oliver Mulligan: Do what?

[42:36] Georgina Mulligan: Make her wedding cake.

[42:38] Oliver Mulligan: You're gonna make her a box cake?

[42:41] Georgina Mulligan: Say box cake one more time and I will. I'm just kidding. First of all, she didn't ask you to do it, you offered. Now, you won't return her calls or texts.

[42:50] Oliver Mulligan: I've just been so busy.

[42:52] Georgina Mulligan: Doing what?

[42:53] Oliver Mulligan: Minding my business.

[42:55] Georgina Mulligan: Which is what?

[42:56] Oliver Mulligan: None of yours.

[42:57] Georgina Mulligan: Well, ain't you in a mood today? You asked me why you don't have any likes on Facebook. This is why.

[43:05] Oliver Mulligan: I never asked you that.

[43:07] Georgina Mulligan: Tell her I'll do it.

[43:08] Oliver Mulligan: Mm-mm. That ship has sailed, and you ain't on it.

[43:11] Georgina Mulligan: The wedding is months away. The ship shouldn't even be at the dock yet.

[43:16] Oliver Mulligan: The ship was at the dock. Folks got on, they cracked the champagne on the side of it, and it has sailed on. You know that reality show is doing her entire wedding, and they don't have time to waste.

[43:28] Georgina Mulligan: Did I tell you a reality show is doing her entire wedding? The entire thing from soup to nuts.

[43:34] Oliver Mulligan: Yes, yes, I think you've mentioned it a million times.

[43:38] Georgina Mulligan: No, I haven't. Have I? Well, they are. It's not like I'm lying. The truth ain't no rumor. The producers selected some famous celebrity chefs to make their cake. Can you believe we are living in a time where you can be famous for being a cook for somebody halfway famous?

[43:58] Oliver Mulligan: Lola said she was trying to get you in the running, but apparently Miss Duncan Hines can't return calls to her only niece. She's too busy minding her own business.

[44:07] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't know that was what she was calling for. You need context to return my child's call. Anyway, since the network is paying for the whole wedding, it's up to them. It's saving us a fortune. So it would be Sarah Lee, as far as I'm concerned.

[44:23] Oliver Mulligan: The exposure would have been great for my cake business. If you're not returning calls, is it a business or a hobby?

[44:32] Georgina Mulligan: Why do they keep showing poor Marissa dead in that casket? They must have paid a lot of money for that photo.

[44:39] Oliver Mulligan: And clearly they are trying to make every cent back. I think one of her relatives took that picture and sold it.

[44:46] Georgina Mulligan: No. Really? How do you know? Is that what they said? Which one?

[44:51] Oliver Mulligan: I'm sure. That family was always sketchy, especially that mother. My heart goes out to them. It's horrible all the way around.

[45:00] Georgina Mulligan: I know. Overdosing at Roscoe's chicken and waffles of all places. I mean, really. And the one on Pigo? Can it get any worse? At least go to the one in Pasadena to have an overdose. Poor thing. I just hope she got to eat first.

[45:17] Oliver Mulligan: You know, Lola said Oliver and her were an item in high school. They were prom king and queen.

[45:24] Georgina Mulligan: That's right. I forgot about that. Gosh, time flies. And stand still at the same time.

[45:31] Oliver Mulligan: Oh. You are starting to look bad, Gina. Really beat down and worn out. Go to your doctor tomorrow and get checked out for Zika.

[45:42] Georgina Mulligan: Say Zika virus one more time, Helen, and I swear.

[45:45] Oliver Mulligan: Okay. Not another word. I didn't see her downstairs.

[45:50] Georgina Mulligan: Speak of the devil and Hel walks in. Give your favorite altar hug. You must have forgotten your Aunt Helen's agoraphobia.

[46:02] Oliver Mulligan: That's why I specifically told you to take the stairs. All that money you spend on psychoanalysis, and you still afraid of elevators?

[46:10] Georgina Mulligan: I'm not afraid of them. I just don't want to die in one. Speaking of dying, Marissa.

[46:17] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, uh, people have to learn how to just say no. And people also need to wipe the cocaine from under their nose.

[46:25] Georgina Mulligan: No, I'm talking about the photo of her dead in the casket. It would be worse if she wasn't dead in the casket.

[46:32] Oliver Mulligan: Stop being silly. You two were loved at Westlake Academy. Everyone loved and adored me back then.

[46:40] Georgina Mulligan: Then we went broke and no one loved me anymore, including the deceased. It's true what they say. Peacock today, feather duster tomorrow.

[46:48] Oliver Mulligan: Your mother says that you're moving out.

[46:50] Georgina Mulligan: Thrown out would be more accurate.

[46:52] Oliver Mulligan: Really? I guess that's how baby birds learn to fly, though. Even at 30 something. Just gotta flip those wings and didn't you say you knew how to take a hint?

[47:05] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, can you imagine if we met most of what we said? Don't worry. Todd will be here shortly to scoop me back up.

[47:13] Oliver Mulligan: Where is Uncle Toddy? Is he coming up here?

[47:16] Georgina Mulligan: He's driving around the block. He's got that new Tesla.

[47:19] Oliver Mulligan: Wow. How much did that set him back?

[47:22] Georgina Mulligan: That's so tacky to ask that. Churchina, you didn't teach your child better manners than that. You don't ask someone how much something cost.

[47:31] Oliver Mulligan: It was a hundred and thirty-four thousand dollars. Isn't that ridiculous for a car? Do you know what I can do with a hundred and thirty-four thousand? I could buy me a Tesla.

[47:42] Georgina Mulligan: Is he coming up? He was afraid to park in this neighborhood. He said it looks like the walking dead around here, so he's driving around.

[47:51] Oliver Mulligan: The walking what? It's a TV show about the entertainment business in Los Angeles.

[47:56] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, he's afraid of the crackheads in the park. Isn't that silly? I mean, what's a crackhead gonna do with a Tesla? I mean, where would they plug it in?

[48:06] Oliver Mulligan: You didn't come just to see your favorite nephew? The last time I came to see you, you were away at college, as your mother likes to call it. I even gave your mother some money to put on your books.

[48:18] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, for your books. She never mentioned that.

[48:22] Oliver Mulligan: Didn't I? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I had other things on my mind, like getting you out of jail.

[48:28] Georgina Mulligan: As you could imagine, I was deep in my studies.

[48:32] Oliver Mulligan: Well, that is what college is all about, right? Learn the lessons that you didn't learn in school.

[48:39] Georgina Mulligan: Helen, what exactly do you want? We are kind of in the middle of something.

[48:45] Oliver Mulligan: I can see. Ollie, your mother has been trying to kick me out since I got here. I don't know why.

[48:52] Georgina Mulligan: Listen, I have very exciting news.

[48:56] Oliver Mulligan: Oh my gosh! Is that the old steamer truck?

[49:00] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, sit on the couch with me. Um, don't sit on it.

[49:04] Oliver Mulligan: Why?

[49:05] Georgina Mulligan: We use it as a coffee table now. We put our plates on it.

[49:10] Oliver Mulligan: We use it as a coffee table now.

[49:12] Georgina Mulligan: Oh. I'll sit by you, nephew, at least until we can get your mother checked out for that zeker. Did your mother ever tell you how she locked me in that trunk when we were little girls?

[49:23] Oliver Mulligan: It was an accident. And didn't I say I was sorry? After mother beat you with that ping pong paddle.

[49:30] Georgina Mulligan: I don't remember.

[49:31] Oliver Mulligan: I'll never forget it. You and I are gonna be on TV.

[49:36] Georgina Mulligan: What? How? Why? When?

[49:41] Oliver Mulligan: Well, what about me? We're not doing America's Most Wanted.

[49:45] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, you got jokes. Forgive me. It was cops.

[49:48] Oliver Mulligan: Oh, forgive me. Cops. I do not see why you two think that's so funny.

[49:53] Georgina Mulligan: Let her finish, please.

[49:55] Helen: The producers of the wedding show did a pre-interview with me.

[49:59] Georgina Mulligan: Why did they interview you?

[50:00] Helen: I'm the mother of the damn bride, Georgina. Why wouldn't they interview me? I still can't believe Lola found a sucker to marry her. That nose job was a good investment. It really paid for itself. And the show is paying for everything else. It saved us about a hundred grand.

[50:17] Georgina Mulligan: That's a down payment on a house. Your mother's wedding was about that much. All that money for one day. I bet a lot of people wish they had that money now, huh?

[50:25] Helen: Hmm. Anyway, I told the producers about our great grandma's diamond and pearl wedding necklace and how it's been passed down to the women in our family to wear it on their wedding day. Your mother was the last to wear it, so I figured we could give it to her on TV together.

[50:41] Georgina Mulligan: The producers ate it up like wedding cake.

[50:45] Helen: Yes, like wedding cake. It would mean so much to Lola, especially since she thinks we hate each other.

[50:52] Georgina Mulligan: Well, why would she think that?

[50:53] Helen: She's an only child, so she doesn't know how sisters can hate each other and love each other at the same time.

[50:59] Georgina Mulligan: I don't hate you, Helen.

[51:02] Helen: I was just kidding. Who cares about what stupid Lola thinks?

[51:07] Georgina Mulligan: Why are you crying? You're gonna make me cry.

[51:10] Helen: Because of the necklace. Isn't it a great idea?

[51:14] Georgina Mulligan: Where is it?

[51:17] Helen: Uh, I don't have it anymore.

[51:21] Georgina Mulligan: I had to pawn it.

[51:27] Helen: Stop being silly. You never pawn that.

[51:31] Georgina Mulligan: Oh my god. You're not joking.

[51:34] Oliver Mulligan: Oliver, take the tea kettle off, please.

[51:38] Helen: I needed the money to post bail for Oliver.

[51:42] Georgina Mulligan: Which time?

[51:43] Helen: The first time. I couldn't let you sit in jail and be molested or God knows what.

[51:50] Georgina Mulligan: Why not? I mean, of course not. The necklace was just sitting there, not being used.

[51:56] Helen: You couldn't ask me for the money.

[51:58] Georgina Mulligan: I had just borrowed all that money from you to try to save our old house. I couldn't ask for another loan.

[52:03] Helen: A loan is something you have to pay back.

[52:05] Georgina Mulligan: I never asked for that money back. My intention was to pay you back, Helen, and I couldn't take another handout from you.

[52:12] Helen: Now it's a handout?

[52:14] Georgina Mulligan: Was it a loan or a handout? Do you think it's easy having to ask you for money?

[52:19] Helen: You make it look easy.

[52:21] Georgina Mulligan: It isn't. And that's why I did it. Cheetah, Los Angeles is in the middle of a drought, and you are wasting water with those crocodile tears.

[52:30] Helen: What's that supposed to mean?

[52:32] Georgina Mulligan: Forget it. I release it and let it go.

[52:37] Helen: Well, in a way, it was your idea to sell it. I mean, you gave me the idea. You said there was nothing wrong with selling things if I needed extra money.

[52:47] Georgina Mulligan: I meant like Avon or Amway or this old oversized furniture, not a family heirloom. And you said yourself that you never thought that Lola would get married.

[52:58] Helen: It wasn't legal back then. And plus I stopped saying that after she had that gastric bypass surgery five years ago. I was gonna go back and get the necklace out, and by the time I went back, it was gone.

[53:09] Georgina Mulligan: Gone?

[53:10] Helen: Gone.

[53:11] Georgina Mulligan: Did you know your mother was doing this?

[53:14] Oliver Mulligan: No, I didn't even know there was a necklace.

[53:16] Helen: I think I did what any mother would do for her child.

[53:19] Georgina Mulligan: Enable them? It didn't occur to you to tell me you were going to pawn it and give me a chance to buy it first.

[53:26] Helen: It's always about you, isn't it? The line always starts behind Helen the Great!

[53:31] Georgina Mulligan: Please explain how you pawning a family heirloom to get your son out of jail is about me.

[53:37] Helen: Even when we were kids, it was always about you.

[53:41] Georgina Mulligan: I guess I'm just not as quick on my feet or as smart as you always were.

[53:45] Helen: Even when we were kids. So are we back to the stone age?

[53:49] Georgina Mulligan: I feel horrible.

[53:50] Helen: Don't blame yourself.

[53:52] Georgina Mulligan: Why the hell not? Sometimes people should blame themselves.

[53:55] Helen: No, shame to my game.

[53:58] Georgina Mulligan: There should be shame to people's game. You should both blame yourselves and feel horrible. You for always getting into trouble and you for always bailing him out of it.

[54:08] Helen: No, no, no. You, Georgina, for not telling me you were gonna pawn something that wasn't yours to sell.

[54:14] Georgina Mulligan: I am sorry if I love my child more than I love a trinket.

[54:18] Helen: If it was just a trinket, why didn't you see if I wanted it?

[54:22] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe I didn't want you to have it. I mean, that's the sister I know.

[54:29] Helen: You know Daddy thought you were dumb, but mother knew how vindictive you were. That's why mother used to take me out of school for our secret spa days because she thought I was so vindictive.

[54:42] Georgina Mulligan: She made me promise not to mention it to you. And until now, I never did because I never wanted to make you feel bad.

[54:49] Helen: You big dummy!

[54:53] Georgina Mulligan: That's so funny.

[54:54] Helen: It's true.

[54:56] Georgina Mulligan: Oliver, your mother didn't want to make me feel bad until now.

[55:02] Helen: Georgina! She did that for the both of us.

[55:05] Georgina Mulligan: Both of us. I guess I'm just a horrible person.

[55:09] Helen: You guessed right then. But I always thought I was doing the right thing.

[55:15] Georgina Mulligan: You've always blamed me for losing our parents' house. Since you keep bringing it up to this day, I'm not quite sure how you lose a house that's paid for when you inherited it.

[55:26] Helen: Or how a new will popped up that left you everything, but it did, Helen.

[55:32] Georgina Mulligan: It did, didn't it? But you couldn't hold on to it or a goddamn necklace.

[55:38] Helen: I just don't quite understand it.

[55:39] Georgina Mulligan: What's to understand? You were off traveling the world, focusing on your dad's career, and I stayed back to take care of our parents.

[55:48] Helen: I'm so tired of that story, Gina.

[55:51] Georgina Mulligan: She's tired. You don't know what tired is. Try taking care of a sick parent. I hope you never have that problem, Oliver.

[55:58] Oliver Mulligan: So this is what's true. You didn't make it into the touring company because you got knocked up.

[56:04] Georgina Mulligan: I did, and you always resented me for it.

[56:07] Helen: But I wasn't on vacation. I was working. I've been paying my own way since I was 18.

[56:13] Georgina Mulligan: That's your truth, but it's not mine. I said it before, and I will say it again. The truth ain't no rumor. Just because you ignore or choose to be ignorant of a fact doesn't make it false.

[56:25] Helen: Here's another fact. Our parents were fine when I left. Played tennis three times a week, so I'm not sure who you felt like you had to take care of since you were knocked up, unemployed, and didn't have two nickels to rub together.

[56:39] Georgina Mulligan: Liars! Let's pull out his birth certificate and compare it to your wedding certificates. Dates don't lie.

[56:49] Oliver Mulligan: What's that ringing?

[56:51] Georgina Mulligan: Is there a phone inside the steamer trunk?

[56:54] Helen: It's my old cell phone. I have all my stuff packed in there for the move. I must have forgot to turn it off.

[56:59] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, listen. I didn't come here to argue with you.

[57:04] Helen: Really? You could have fooled me.

[57:06] Georgina Mulligan: I just thought we could do something nice as sisters for Lola's wedding. At least for TV.

[57:11] Helen: Exactly. At least on TV. I thought the necklace would be a nice thing to do. You know, something old.

[57:23] Georgina Mulligan: The house. The house is old.

[57:26] Oliver Mulligan: Oliver, you're a genius.

[57:28] Georgina Mulligan: I am. Yes. Well, no, not really. But you said the money we would have spent on the wedding is a down payment on a house.

[57:36] Helen: I have an even better idea for a wedding gift. You are going to die.

[57:41] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[57:41] Helen: You know that rapper Count Basie that bought our old house.

[57:44] Georgina Mulligan: No, it's Count the Bass G. I love the gospel remix of his song.

[57:48] Helen: Your lips say no, but your other lips be screaming.

[57:51] Georgina Mulligan: Yes. That vulgar man. He stuck 400 statues of Venus de Milo all over the lawn, up the driveway, on the roof.

[58:00] Helen: That beautiful house looks crazy now. It looks like a bordello. And I heard it looks just as gaudy inside. My old friends in Hancock still don't talk to me because of that man bought that house like it was my fault.

[58:15] Georgina Mulligan: Is that why you think they don't talk to you? What about the house?

[58:19] Helen: He declared bankruptcy. Imagine that. The house is going on the market. We're not using the wedding savings. I'll put an offering on the house. Remove those statues, trip it back to the original house, give them the keys for a wedding gift on the show.

[58:35] Georgina Mulligan: That would be the something old.

[58:38] Helen: The house. Isn't that a great idea? I mean, it needs so much work.

[58:43] Georgina Mulligan: If it's that crazy on the outside, what would it look like on the inside?

[58:48] Helen: I know, but we know the bones are good. And the location is great. We have the extra money since we're not using it for the wedding.

[58:56] Georgina Mulligan: I'm just saying, I imagine it needs so much work, and who knows if they even want to live there.

[59:01] Helen: It needs work. I'm not afraid of work. Besides, it's not like either of you plan on picking up a hammer and nail and getting your hands dirty. I mean, you're welcome to do so.

[59:12] Georgina Mulligan: You know, I'll do whatever I can. I love that house more than anything. Now it'll be back in the family, and we can have family gatherings there like we used to before. Won't that be great?

[59:23] Oliver Mulligan: Yeah, so of course.

[59:25] Georgina Mulligan: That was not convincing at all. Brady will think it's a good idea.

[59:29] Helen: Does he normally work this late?

[59:32] Georgina Mulligan: Do you think he's trapped in the trunk?

[59:35] Oliver Mulligan: What? What did you say?

[59:37] Georgina Mulligan: I said, do you think he's trapped at work?

[59:40] Helen: What's wrong with you two? You're both acting extra strange.

[59:44] Georgina Mulligan: Nothing. It's a great idea. The house. Right, Mom?

[59:48] Helen: Right. I can't think of anything greater than that house being back in our family.

[59:53] Georgina Mulligan: God is good.

[59:54] Helen: All the time, sis. Can I borrow that old picture of mom and dad on the TV? I can have it scanned and put the picture in a locket for her. Or don't you want me to have that?

[1:00:04] Helen: I swear you can be so hateful, Helen.

[1:00:09] Georgina Mulligan: Hey, sweetie. I'll be right down.

[1:00:11] Helen: She said he's at work.

[1:00:13] Georgina Mulligan: I know. He'll see it when he sees it.

[1:00:17] Helen: Hey, I have a great idea about what to do with Lola's wedding money. Get your checkbook handy.

[1:00:22] Georgina Mulligan: Not a bad connection. Sit tight.

[1:00:26] Helen: Shut up. No one is going to carjack you.

[1:00:30] Georgina Mulligan: I'll be right down. Here's a picture of mommy and daddy. The glass frame is Waterford.

[1:00:36] Helen: It's Crystal. Do you want to keep the frame too?

[1:00:40] Georgina Mulligan: Huh?

[1:00:40] Helen: Oh, no. Daddy gave it to Mommy for their 15th anniversary. It's Waterford.

[1:00:46] Georgina Mulligan: Crystal. Fifteen years is real.

[1:00:48] Helen: Crystal. You know what? Keep it. She should have it. Long as it stays in the family, right?

[1:00:55] Georgina Mulligan: Give it to Lola as our wedding present.

[1:00:57] Helen: Oh, that's so sweet of you. I'm sure she'll love it.

[1:01:02] Georgina Mulligan: I'll let you two get back to whatever you were up to. Good luck, Oliver.

[1:01:07] Oliver Mulligan: With what?

[1:01:08] Georgina Mulligan: Moving.

[1:01:09] Oliver Mulligan: M Moving what? I'm not moving anything.

[1:01:12] Helen: Hmm. That's what I thought. You ain't never leaving. Helen, give your husband a hug for me.

[1:01:19] Georgina Mulligan: I will. And I'm so sorry I didn't get to see Brady. When you see him, give him my love.

[1:01:26] Helen: You sold that necklace? A family heirloom because of me?

[1:01:29] Georgina Mulligan: Huh? Oh, that? Aunt Helen was right. She always thinks she's right. But I know one thing she's not gonna be right about. If anyone is gonna buy that house, it's gonna be me and you.

[1:02:04] Narrator: Join us again for part two of DEAD WAIT. A journey and a full existence.