This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:03] BLAINE TEAMER: Well, that's when you thank your lucky stars for glowful. Let's see, what are you going to do downtown, ladies and gentlemen? We invite your apprehensive listeners. Oh yes, hello, I am your host, BLAINE TEAMER, and welcome to Theatre in the Black. Theatre in the Black and Kahoots with the Afro-Existential Podcast welcomes your apprehensive listening as we present the audio podcast play DEAD WAIT: A Journey in Afro-Existentialism, written by BLAINE TEAMER.

[0:49] BLAINE TEAMER: Oh yes, it is a black comedy about an all-American family trying to move up in the world, and it is brought to you in part by new and improved Afro-Existential Sheen shampoo and deep conditioner. Get it today; your roots will thank you, and that's no lie. I struggle with caring; I don't want to have to struggle with my hair. Get new and improved Afro-Existential Sheen shampoo and reconditioner. It goes deep into your roots and uncovers the natural beauty that's been there all the time. Yeah, every day I live the struggle; I don't want to have to struggle with my hair. And for added protection on those caring days, there is Afro-Existential Sheen Super Holding Hair Spray.

[1:48] BLAINE TEAMER: A protein-based hairspray that holds your hair back, but won't hold you back. I don't even have to take my earrings off. I hate to think where I'd be without it. Afro-Existential Sheen shampoo, reconditioner, and relaxer. Get it today. Your roots will thank you. And that's no lie.

[2:12] BLAINE TEAMER: Oh, there will always be certain people who engage in self-deception to evade responsibility for their own actions. Oh yes, actually, it's quite the pandemic today. People will go to any length to avoid the truth of their own reality. French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called this Mauvaise Foi or Bad Faith. In other words, people just be fronting.

[2:43] BLAINE TEAMER: Oh yes. Now, a perfect example can be found in the small Los Angeles apartment of the Mulligan family. As our story opens, you will find Brady, the father, in front of the TV, as his wife, Georgina, is aimlessly trying to have a conversation with him as she bakes cakes for her church's fundraiser.

[3:07] BLAINE TEAMER: Oh, and one thing you should note about Georgina Mulligan is that she is a woman that likes to finish what she starts.

[3:19] Georgina Mulligan: Brady, sweetheart. Did I tell you what my two trivial prayers were today?

[3:25] Brady: Um, I prayed that you'd have a change of heart about Ollie's day. And look, you really did.

[3:34] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, my other trivial prayer was, oh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, wait, wait, wait. And once again, the 300 million dollar Powerball numbers are 3, 6, 21, 60, 68.

[3:49] Georgina Mulligan: Sweetie, did you check your tickets to see if you finally won? I guess if you did, you wouldn't be sitting over there, huh? Where will we go? It'd be so nice to get out of here and see the world again. Barely remember the last time we left this place. Helen posted pictures on Facebook. Too many, if you ask me, of their trip to Monaco. I don't need to see her old ugly dancer's feet overlooking an otherwise perfectly beautiful beach.

[4:27] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, your show is on.

[4:41] Brady: He soon discovered this Victoria's very shocking secret.

[4:47] Georgina Mulligan: A penis! Victoria used to be Victor. Poor Donald. Didn't see it coming.

[4:59] Brady: This ice is delicious.

[5:03] Georgina Mulligan: Brady, I know you're over there thinking, is she really over there decorating a cake? You know how I am. I always have to finish what I start.

[5:12] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, your show is on. It's who's that baby's daddy day on the Alex Winter Show.

[5:20] Brady: It's Alex Winter. Who's that, baby's daddy?

[5:28] Georgina Mulligan: Hello, everyone. On today's show, we are looking at sibling rivalry. Welcome, Colt.

[5:36] Colt: Colt says his fiancée Brittany cheated on him with her stepfather Gunner. Now he doesn't know if little Magnum is his baby.

[5:48] Georgina Mulligan: But wait, that's not all. Brittany's stepfather just happens to be Colt's twin brother Gunner. Let's meet Colt's fiancée. Please give a warm welcome to Brittany.

[6:03] Brittany: Who's that baby's daddy? Who's that baby's daddy? Y'all don't know me. Y'all do not even know me. Yeah, right. Huh. Y'all, be quiet. It's a damn lie, Alex. He was spreading fake news. It's fake news.

[6:24] Brittany: He knows he's that baby's daddy. Alex! Alex! Alex!

[6:28] Alex: Yes, Brittany, I'm right here. Please let her speak. Go ahead.

[6:34] Brittany: Alex, he's spreading fake news, and he needs to build a huge wall around his lies so he can keep his lies away from my border because they are foreign to me and my baby.

[6:46] Alex: Okay. That baby don't look nothing like me. Look at his ears. Look at his nose. He look like my brother Gunner.

[6:53] Brittany: Your twin brother Gunner? Don't twins tend to look alike? Don't he sound stupid, Alex? Y'all! Ain't he stupid? Him and his brother, they twins.

[7:09] Colt: Colt, why do you think he would sleep with his stepdaughter, your fiancée, and his future sister-in-law?

[7:17] Colt: Even as kids, he was always jealous of me, Alex. Always.

[7:22] Alex: If little baby Magnum is your son or nephew, I hope you two can work it out. Because either way, you are family. Here are the results.

[7:36] Colt: Tell the truth and shame the devil. Tell the truth and shame the devil, Alex. That's all I know. Here we go. When it comes to three-month-old baby Magnum.

[7:50] Colt: I guess you are shooting Blake's Colt because you are not that baby's father.

[7:57] Brittany: Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! I'm so sorry! Oh god! Don't call on God now. He has blocked your number.

[8:10] Georgina Mulligan: I swear, Brady, I don't know how you watch this horrible show. I mean, when did other people's misery become entertainment?

[8:22] Georgina Mulligan: Oliver! Did you find it?

[8:24] Oliver: Ma, you becoming like those women on that hoarder show. What's it called?

[8:30] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[8:31] Oliver: Hoarders? If it's not there, then it's up here in this old truck. Here, let me look through that.

[8:40] Georgina Mulligan: Brady, I guess I just didn't want Oliver to leave. He belongs here with us. But Brady, maybe something good can come of it. Now he can stay, right? Don't you think that would be okay now? I mean, considering.

[8:57] Georgina Mulligan: Did I tell you what my second trivial prayer was? I prayed that we could take a little staycation. Maybe the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. I mean, we would wait till everything is sorted out with you, of course. But I really think it would be so good for us. We need to get out of here. Don't you think? Brady.

[9:19] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, look at what I found in this old truck. Oh, look at this picture. It's my first music video. Remember? How did that beautiful young girl end up stuck here?

[9:36] Georgina Mulligan: Oh now. Look at this, Brady. Our wedding album. This is how she ended up here. Look at me. So pretty in that white veil and straight jacket.

[9:51] Georgina Mulligan: Aww, look at this. Oliver's christening gown. Wasn't he sweet? I found it.

[10:00] Georgina Mulligan: What's that white stuff on your face? Oliver Mulligan. Have you been sneaking into my cake batter? Huh?

[10:07] Oliver: Uh what? Uh oh, oh yes, I must have got some flour on me. Uh who were you talking to? Huh?

[10:13] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I was just saying to your father that maybe we can take a family staycation.

[10:18] Oliver: The three of us? Huh? How in the hell would all three of us go?

[10:24] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, Oliver, I know your daddy's. I know he's dead.

[10:32] Oliver: Thank God. Not that he's dead. I mean, good that you know he's dead and not talking to him like he's not dead.

[10:39] Oliver: Seriously, Ma, I couldn't handle Daddy dying tonight. And you going 5150 all in the same night. You just don't stop talking to someone after 26 years of marriage.

[10:48] Georgina Mulligan: You know, I begged him not to kick you out. Not that he listened to me when he was alive. It all happened so fast, so fast, didn't it?

[10:56] Oliver: He really did. I mean, one minute he was alive, and the next minute he was dead. Just like that. We argue all the time, and it never—I mean, do you think that's what killed him?

[11:09] Georgina Mulligan: You know, our arguing all probably so. Oh, oh, I mean, no. I mean, it didn't help. I mean, it didn't add any years to his life, is what I'm trying to say.

[11:20] Oliver: I get it. I get it. Whatever you do, honey, don't blame yourself. I mean, if I had been here when he was choking to death, I would have done the Heimlich and saved him. But like you said, it happened so fast. I went across the street to get some eggs for my cake, and I came back, and Daddy was dead.

[11:38] Georgina Mulligan: You didn't hear him choking?

[11:41] Oliver: If I saw her daddy choking, I wouldn't have let Daddy choke.

[11:44] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I know. It's not your fault. Did you have your earphones on? Sometimes I'll be yelling for you; you can't hear me.

[11:52] Oliver: I hear you. Huh? What was that? Uh no, I didn't have my earphones on.

[11:58] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, oh, okay. It's not your fault. You hear me now? It's not. He'd get that horrible fried chicken from churches. You can't tell a thigh from a wing, and he'd eat it like it was his last meal.

[12:13] Oliver: And I guess it was, wasn't it? Well, look on the bright side. In his obituary, you can spin it and say he loved to visit various churches and had visited his favorite one the night he passed.

[12:23] Georgina Mulligan: Always talking with food in his mouth. And who wants to see that? Now look what happened. He choked on his chicken. You know, it's one of seven deadly sins.

[12:33] Oliver: What? Choking on your chicken?

[12:33] Georgina Mulligan: Gluttony. It's a sin. But God knows your daddy had a good heart. He was so lucky to get a heart transplant from that surfer.

[12:42] Oliver: That's not what I meant, Oliver. But wasn't that a waste of money, now that I think about it? I meant he was a good person, despite all the heartache he caused me.

[12:52] Georgina Mulligan: No good lying bass.

[12:59] Oliver: Anything you want.

[13:00] Georgina Mulligan: But can we stick a pen in that for a minute?

[13:03] Oliver: Oh shoot.

[13:04] Georgina Mulligan: I need you to take my cakes to church for a seriously?

[13:08] Oliver: They'd understand if you don't give them a cake this year.

[13:11] Georgina Mulligan: I need you to focus.

[13:12] Oliver: Focus on what?

[13:13] Georgina Mulligan: I always make a cake for the fundraiser.

[13:15] Oliver: Okay, I'll get the cakes there.

[13:16] Georgina Mulligan: Listen.

[13:21] Georgina Mulligan: It's all paid up and current, the policy, right?

[13:25] Oliver: Oh, give it here.

[13:26] Georgina Mulligan: Yes.

[13:27] Georgina Mulligan: Remember how your Aunt Kitty used to always make jokes about Uncle Rusty.

[13:31] Georgina Mulligan: Being so old, and she took out all those insurance policies on him?

[13:34] Oliver: Yeah.

[13:35] Georgina Mulligan: She said she was gonna live it up like the Queen of Sheba when he was dead.

[13:40] Georgina Mulligan: Then she cackled like an old hen.

[13:44] Oliver: I know, and then she got hit by a truck on the set of blessed by an angel.

[13:48] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, I know.

[13:49] Georgina Mulligan: Listen.

[13:50] Georgina Mulligan: Well, after all that cackling she did, it turned out she didn't keep up the payments.

[13:55] Oliver: Are you serious?

[13:56] Georgina Mulligan: He got all that money after she died?

[13:58] Georgina Mulligan: Only because she got killed working on the set of blessed by an angel.

[14:03] Georgina Mulligan: Well, the angel went and blessed your Uncle Rusty.

[14:06] Georgina Mulligan: So I always made sure I kept our policies up to date.

[14:11] Oliver: Where's the coroner?

[14:12] Georgina Mulligan: Did you tell them your father was dead?

[14:14] Oliver: Uh, that's the first requirement for the coroner to come.

[14:17] Georgina Mulligan: Do they take their time if the person is already dead?

[14:20] Oliver: All the people they pick up are dead.

[14:22] Georgina Mulligan: I wonder what's taking them so long.

[14:24] Georgina Mulligan: I swear they are slower than the second coming of the Lord.

[14:27] Oliver: Oh, I haven't called yet.

[14:30] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[14:30] Oliver: Why not?

[14:31] Georgina Mulligan: You told me to look for the insurance policy.

[14:34] Oliver: After you call the coroner, I can't depend on you for anything.

[14:38] Georgina Mulligan: Miss you can't.

[14:38] Oliver: Ma, listen.

[14:41] Oliver: Mother, this policy says you get $500,000.

[14:47] Georgina Mulligan: Didn't I tell you not to look at it?

[14:49] Oliver: Did you?

[14:50] Oliver: I guess in the rush to find it, I'm the rush, but you had time to read it.

[14:55] Oliver: It also says that I'm a beneficiary and I get $50,000.

[15:00] Georgina Mulligan: Does it now?

[15:01] Oliver: It does.

[15:02] Oliver: It says right here, Mama.

[15:04] Georgina Mulligan: See?

[15:05] Georgina Mulligan: Well, I guess now you really are gonna leave.

[15:09] Georgina Mulligan: That was the plan all along, right?

[15:11] Oliver: Daddy was putting me out on the street in the middle of the night like you do trash.

[15:15] Georgina Mulligan: Daddy isn't here anymore, sweetheart.

[15:18] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, once the coroner comes, he won't be over there anymore.

[15:22] Georgina Mulligan: I've given it a lot of thought.

[15:24] Oliver: A lot of thought?

[15:25] Georgina Mulligan: How?

[15:26] Georgina Mulligan: Your daddy just died.

[15:28] Georgina Mulligan: Remember when I did the GoFundMe campaign so I could go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity to help those poor people?

[15:34] Oliver: I don't remember that at all.

[15:35] Georgina Mulligan: Come on.

[15:35] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, you do.

[15:37] Georgina Mulligan: Really, how could you forget that?

[15:39] Oliver: What I remember is you getting arrested and using the funds for your bail.

[15:43] Georgina Mulligan: My point is, I thought I'd be going down there and teaching the poor people something.

[15:47] Georgina Mulligan: But those poor people taught me something so valuable about myself.

[15:51] Oliver: What?

[15:52] Georgina Mulligan: I learned I do not want to be poor.

[15:56] Oliver: Really?

[15:56] Georgina Mulligan: And not only that.

[15:58] Georgina Mulligan: There's more.

[15:59] Georgina Mulligan: Daddy said I was a horrible person, and he was right.

[16:02] Georgina Mulligan: I am.

[16:04] Georgina Mulligan: God doesn't make mistakes.

[16:06] Oliver: Never?

[16:07] Georgina Mulligan: I think maybe he does.

[16:09] Georgina Mulligan: I think he makes a lot of mistakes.

[16:10] Georgina Mulligan: I think he makes a lot of mistakes on purpose.

[16:13] Oliver: You're just feeling this way because you were here when he choked to death, and you feel responsible.

[16:18] Georgina Mulligan: And now you're thinking about leaving me all alone.

[16:20] Oliver: Huh?

[16:21] Oliver: Wait, hold.

[16:23] Georgina Mulligan: Hold.

[16:23] Georgina Mulligan: I don't feel responsible for his death.

[16:25] Oliver: You said he died from choking on his chicken.

[16:28] Georgina Mulligan: This might be the catalyst I need to get out of here and try to make something of myself.

[16:32] Georgina Mulligan: Otherwise, I feel like I'll be stuck here forever.

[16:36] Oliver: Maybe it's not too late.

[16:41] Georgina Mulligan: I understand.

[16:43] Oliver: You really mean that?

[16:45] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, this isn't like reverse psychology, is it?

[16:48] Oliver: Something you saw on Dr. Phil?

[16:50] Georgina Mulligan: No.

[16:51] Georgina Mulligan: I vaguely recall being young once.

[16:53] Georgina Mulligan: I was gonna be a prima ballerina like your Aunt Helen.

[16:56] Georgina Mulligan: But I chose instead to raise you.

[16:59] Oliver: Go.

[17:01] Georgina Mulligan: Go.

[17:01] Georgina Mulligan: Be all you can be.

[17:04] Oliver: Thank you, Ma.

[17:06] Georgina Mulligan: I'm just glad your daddy didn't die at work.

[17:09] Georgina Mulligan: Boy, oh boy.

[17:11] Georgina Mulligan: I'd probably never see you again.

[17:13] Georgina Mulligan: You'd be living in the south of France somewhere with all that money.

[17:18] Oliver: Oh, where should I send your $50,000 check to?

[17:21] Georgina Mulligan: Why?

[17:22] Oliver: Wait, what was that?

[17:23] Georgina Mulligan: You didn't say where you were going.

[17:25] Oliver: Where can I mail it?

[17:27] Georgina Mulligan: Wait.

[17:28] Georgina Mulligan: Why are you glad he didn't die at work?

[17:30] Georgina Mulligan: I thought you read the policy.

[17:32] Oliver: Hmm.

[17:36] Georgina Mulligan: Well, goddamn!

[17:38] Georgina Mulligan: If he would have choked on his chicken at work, I'd have gotten $150,000.

[17:42] Georgina Mulligan: Don't use the Lord's name in vain.

[17:45] Georgina Mulligan: Your father was always at work.

[17:47] Georgina Mulligan: Or that's where he said he was.

[17:48] Georgina Mulligan: Who knows where he was, really?

[17:50] Georgina Mulligan: Or with whom?

[17:51] Georgina Mulligan: No good lying bastard.

[17:53] Oliver: Oh, snap!

[17:55] Georgina Mulligan: You get a million dollars!

[17:56] Georgina Mulligan: I hope you at least stick around for the funeral.

[18:00] Georgina Mulligan: If not, I need to get my lie together now to explain why you're not at your father's funeral.

[18:04] Oliver: Oh, is the Peace Corps still the thing?

[18:06] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe I'll say that you couldn't get back from the Congo in time.

[18:09] Oliver: Where is the Congo exactly?

[18:11] Georgina Mulligan: It's far, right?

[18:12] Georgina Mulligan: I don't want to keep you here stuck just on account of this money.

[18:16] Georgina Mulligan: Now go!

[18:17] Georgina Mulligan: I'll make sure you get it.

[18:18] Oliver: Don't be ridiculous.

[18:20] Oliver: I wouldn't miss it for the world.

[18:22] Oliver: I mean, what kind of son would I be if I wasn't at my own father's funeral?

[18:26] Georgina Mulligan: What I'm saying is you don't have to stick around.

[18:28] Georgina Mulligan: I can mail you the check.

[18:30] Georgina Mulligan: Just write down the address, but put it where I can remember to find it.

[18:33] Georgina Mulligan: I'm taking those ginkgo supplements for my memory, but after time I forget to take them.

[18:37] Oliver: Mother, are you trying to get rid of me now or what?

[18:40] Georgina Mulligan: You know better than that.

[18:42] Georgina Mulligan: I just want what's best for you.

[18:45] Georgina Mulligan: Isn't that all a mother ever wants for her child?

[18:48] Oliver: Don't think twice about us.

[18:50] Georgina Mulligan: Well, me, actually.

[18:52] Georgina Mulligan: I really think your father died at home just to spite me.

[18:56] Georgina Mulligan: Hmm.

[18:57] Georgina Mulligan: I have half a mind to just put your father in the car and drop him off at that video store.

[19:02] Oliver: Is we'd both be rich.

[19:05] Georgina Mulligan: Uh, can you please call the coroner now?

[19:07] Georgina Mulligan: So he's ready in time for his own funeral.

[19:09] Oliver: Africa.

[19:10] Oliver: The Congo is in Africa.

[19:12] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, what did you just say?

[19:15] Oliver: Can you call the coroner before the funeral?

[19:18] Georgina Mulligan: That's funny.

[19:19] Georgina Mulligan: No.

[19:19] Georgina Mulligan: Before that.

[19:20] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, I don't know.

[19:21] Georgina Mulligan: But um put your father in the car and drop him off at work and collect that money.

[19:28] Georgina Mulligan: Better yet, maybe we could call him an Uber.

[19:31] Oliver: Yes, that's that's that.

[19:33] Georgina Mulligan: Well, what about it?

[19:34] Oliver: Yes, what about it, mother?

[19:37] Georgina Mulligan: What about it?

[19:39] Oliver: I'm saying just what you just said.

[19:43] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't say anything.

[19:45] Georgina Mulligan: I was just joking, Oliver.

[19:47] Oliver: You always said there's a lot of truth in a joke.

[19:50] Georgina Mulligan: Not this time.

[19:51] Georgina Mulligan: This time would be the time, mother.

[19:54] Oliver: I mean, would it be so bad if we moved daddy from spot A to spot B?

[19:58] Georgina Mulligan: If spot C was jail, yes, it would be so bad.

[20:01] Georgina Mulligan: Like going to jail for insurance fraud, bad.

[20:04] Oliver: You think?

[20:05] Georgina Mulligan: Really?

[20:06] Georgina Mulligan: That bad?

[20:07] Georgina Mulligan: I mean I am not going to drag your father's dead body down Olympic Boulevard in the middle of the night, Oliver.

[20:14] Oliver: Ma, we are three miles from a million dollars.

[20:18] Oliver: That's like 333k a mile.

[20:20] Oliver: I could definitely do it for that.

[20:22] Oliver: No problem.

[20:22] Oliver: And lookie ma ways is saying it'll take 15 minutes to get there.

[20:27] Oliver: Where's my phone?

[20:28] Oliver: I'm calling the corner right now.

[20:31] Georgina Mulligan: Give me my phone, Oliver.

[20:34] Georgina Mulligan: We are not that type of people.

[20:36] Oliver: I'm that person for a lot less money than this.

[20:39] Georgina Mulligan: Well, that's not how we raised you, Oliver Mulligan.

[20:43] Oliver: Well, that's how I turned out, Georgina Mulligan.

[20:46] Oliver: This could give us our own life back, Ma.

[20:49] Oliver: Isn't that what he would have wanted for us?

[20:51] Georgina Mulligan: Or at least for you.

[20:52] Georgina Mulligan: Your father?

[20:53] Georgina Mulligan: Brady Mulligan?

[20:56] Georgina Mulligan: Don't make me laugh.

[20:57] Georgina Mulligan: No, not at all.

[20:59] Georgina Mulligan: No good lying fast.

[21:01] Oliver: Okay, true, but isn't that even more reason to do it?

[21:05] Oliver: You get that last laugh.

[21:07] Oliver: And I'm talking a million-dollar belly laugh.

[21:10] Georgina Mulligan: Give me my phone, Ollie.

[21:13] Georgina Mulligan: It's starting to stink around here.

[21:15] Georgina Mulligan: And I swear I don't know if it's your daddy or you.

[21:17] Georgina Mulligan: It's the stink of poverty, and I smell it on all of us.

[21:21] Georgina Mulligan: I should have never told you that you get all that money if he died at work.

[21:25] Georgina Mulligan: I should have just mailed you the check.

[21:27] Oliver: Why did you?

[21:28] Georgina Mulligan: Why did you tell me?

[21:29] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't know where to mail it.

[21:32] Georgina Mulligan: Jesus, what was I thinking?

[21:35] Oliver: I think you knew.

[21:36] Oliver: I think you knew exactly what you were doing.

[21:39] Georgina Mulligan: What?

[21:40] Georgina Mulligan: That's why you sent me to look for it.

[21:42] Georgina Mulligan: You knew.

[21:43] Oliver: How could I know you'd want to move your father's dead body around town?

[21:47] Georgina Mulligan: For God's sake, we're not doing a pub crawl.

[21:50] Oliver: It's three miles down the street.

[21:51] Georgina Mulligan: Greedy is another one of the seven deadly sins, Oliver.

[21:54] Oliver: I know.

[21:55] Oliver: Gluttony, greed, lust, wrath, sloth, envy, pride.

[22:00] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, there's one more.

[22:02] Oliver: What is it?

[22:03] Georgina Mulligan: It's poverty.

[22:04] Georgina Mulligan: And here in the city of Los Angeles, only the poor are punished for it.

[22:08] Georgina Mulligan: Have you no moral compass?

[22:12] Oliver: Since he was kicking me out on the street tonight, my moral GPS may not be working.

[22:16] Oliver: Especially since I didn't know where the hell I was going to end up after I was thrown out.

[22:20] Georgina Mulligan: I would have never let him throw you out.

[22:22] Georgina Mulligan: My box is stacked by the door tell a different story.

[22:24] Georgina Mulligan: You are going to get $50,000, Ollie, and you still want more.

[22:29] Oliver: Why are you acting so daft?

[22:31] Georgina Mulligan: Doesn't everyone want more money, Mother?

[22:33] Georgina Mulligan: I know you do.

[22:35] Oliver: Give me five minutes.

[22:37] Oliver: If you don't want me to do it after that, I'll call the coroner.

[22:40] Georgina Mulligan: I swear to God.

[22:42] Oliver: The atheist is swearing to God.

[22:44] Georgina Mulligan: That's the problem, Oliver.

[22:46] Georgina Mulligan: That's your damn problem.

[22:47] Georgina Mulligan: You don't believe in anything.

[22:49] Oliver: Okay, then I swear on Daddy's grave.

[22:49] Georgina Mulligan: On Daddy's grave?

[22:53] Oliver: He's not in his grave yet.

[22:55] Oliver: Because you won't give me my phone to call the coroner.

[22:58] Oliver: Give me five minutes.

[22:59] Oliver: And if we do it, I'll stay for good.

[23:01] Georgina Mulligan: You are wasting your breath.

[23:04] Georgina Mulligan: You always said Daddy dragged us down to this hellhole after he gambled our beautiful house away that your father built.

[23:12] Georgina Mulligan: And you know I have nothing against these poor people down here.

[23:17] Georgina Mulligan: It's just that I grew up in Hancock Park, and now look at us.

[23:21] Georgina Mulligan: Living hand to mouth.

[23:23] Georgina Mulligan: He put us here with all his lies and mendacity.

[23:32] Georgina Mulligan: But that's all in the past.

[23:35] Georgina Mulligan: Since I got saved and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

[23:41] Georgina Mulligan: I forgave him for gambling away the house my father built.

[23:47] Oliver: Did you?

[23:48] Oliver: Really?

[23:49] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, really.

[23:50] Georgina Mulligan: I did.

[23:51] Georgina Mulligan: I really did.

[23:52] Georgina Mulligan: Thank you very much.

[23:56] Georgina Mulligan: Listen.

[23:58] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe the two of us can pool our insurance money and get a little house in Hancock Park together.

[24:05] Oliver: Oh, please, Mother.

[24:07] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe a two-bedroom condo in Hancock Park adjacent, adjacent, which is Koreatown.

[24:13] Georgina Mulligan: That money will be gone in two years, tops.

[24:15] Oliver: Think about it.

[24:16] Oliver: You're not gonna have daddy's income anymore from the video store to fall back on.

[24:20] Georgina Mulligan: Well, why don't you run it?

[24:22] Oliver: I mean, you can run it.

[24:23] Oliver: You want me to run a video store?

[24:25] Oliver: What is this, 1998?

[24:27] Georgina Mulligan: Plus, you know I'm trying to finish writing my novel.

[24:30] Georgina Mulligan: And it's hard to create great work when you have to work.

[24:34] Oliver: You don't even like saying that word, do you?

[24:37] Georgina Mulligan: Work.

[24:38] Oliver: You make it sound like a four-letter word.

[24:41] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, it is a four-letter word.

[24:43] Oliver: Mother, none of the great writers had to deal with poverty and try to be brilliant at the same time.

[24:49] Oliver: I mean, I know Fitzgerald, but dare I say I fall somewhere between Danielle Steele and Paris Hilton.

[24:54] Georgina Mulligan: Paris Hilton is an author?

[24:55] Oliver: Yes!

[24:56] Georgina Mulligan: See what I'm saying?

[24:57] Oliver: I'm not blaming you, Mother.

[24:59] Oliver: But but what?

[25:01] Oliver: Don't you think we've suffered enough for your poor marital choice?

[25:08] Georgina Mulligan: When I met him, he owned two video stores.

[25:13] Georgina Mulligan: After we were married, with my help, we had opened ten Blockbusters.

[25:19] Georgina Mulligan: Ten!

[25:20] Georgina Mulligan: He was king of the world, or rather Ramsey's and I was his Nefertari.

[25:25] Georgina Mulligan: But then came Netflix.

[25:28] Georgina Mulligan: And those damn little red envelopes delivered to every door.

[25:34] Georgina Mulligan: Like the red plague in Exodus, killing our business.

[25:38] Georgina Mulligan: Then just like he did in the Bible, God took away our kingdom, and now my firstborn.

[25:45] Oliver: What I'm hearing is that you've been living his dream and he gambled yours away.

[25:49] Georgina Mulligan: That's exactly what happened.

[25:51] Oliver: You know I danced the part of Yes, the part of Bluebird.

[25:55] Georgina Mulligan: Firebird.

[25:56] Oliver: Yes, yes, firebird.

[25:58] Georgina Mulligan: I meant firebird.

[26:00] Oliver: All those years with your own potential.

[26:03] Georgina Mulligan: Bottled like a shaken soda pop.

[26:06] Oliver: Like a caged bird.

[26:07] Georgina Mulligan: Caged bird, yes.

[26:09] Oliver: That's a much better metaphor.

[26:10] Georgina Mulligan: A caged firebird.

[26:12] Oliver: Now you are free to fly away in first class and not in coach.

[26:18] Georgina Mulligan: Hey, I bet your sister doesn't even have to fly a coach.

[26:23] Oliver: Only coach she knows is the one that hangs from her arm.

[26:26] Georgina Mulligan: Don't you at least deserve to fly business class?

[26:29] Oliver: At least.

[26:30] Georgina Mulligan: I know it's a horrible thing to say.

[26:32] Oliver: Look around. There's nobody here but us three.

[26:34] Georgina Mulligan: And he ain't listening.

[26:36] Oliver: Ollie, I never envisioned myself being not rich.

[26:42] Georgina Mulligan: Does that make sense?

[26:44] Oliver: I just wasn't prepared for this.

[26:47] Georgina Mulligan: I just don't identify with not being rich.

[26:51] Oliver: Does that make sense?

[26:53] Georgina Mulligan: It most certainly does.

[26:54] Oliver: And neither do I, mother.

[26:56] Georgina Mulligan: You know what we are, mother?

[26:58] Oliver: We're trans affluent.

[27:01] Georgina Mulligan: Hmm?

[27:02] Oliver: Trans what?

[27:03] Georgina Mulligan: You know how you have your transgenders, people whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex, right?

[27:11] Oliver: If you say so.

[27:13] Georgina Mulligan: I don't say so. That's what they say.

[27:15] Oliver: They feel like they belong to the opposite of what they are.

[27:18] Georgina Mulligan: Isn't that us? Isn't that us, dammit?

[27:21] Oliver: No.

[27:22] Georgina Mulligan: Not at all.

[27:23] Oliver: Yes, it is. Listen.

[27:25] Georgina Mulligan: We feel like we belong with affluent people, and we don't identify with being poor.

[27:30] Oliver: So we are trans affluents.

[27:33] Georgina Mulligan: You just made that nonsense up.

[27:38] Oliver: Oh, but somebody said they were transracial. You remember that lady?

[27:41] Georgina Mulligan: Yes.

[27:42] Oliver: Now that's a thing. Transracial.

[27:44] Georgina Mulligan: She came out white as cotton, got some cornrows, a spray tan, said she was black and got a Netflix special.

[27:51] Oliver: So why can't we be trans affluent?

[27:53] Georgina Mulligan: Well, I guess, but what I'm trying to say is that look, I go to church and I was saved.

[28:01] Oliver: I took care of our sick mother until the end.

[28:04] Georgina Mulligan: I was a devoted wife. I tried to be a good mother. Didn't I try? Don't I deserve something more than nothing?

[28:10] Oliver: People don't get what they deserve, mother.

[28:12] Georgina Mulligan: True.

[28:13] Oliver: Yes. People don't get what they deserve.

[28:17] Georgina Mulligan: God knows that's true.

[28:19] Oliver: Wait. What do you mean?

[28:22] Georgina Mulligan: You get what you can get away with getting.

[28:25] Oliver: And that has nothing to do with what you deserve.

[28:27] Georgina Mulligan: You think the black people picking cotton deserve to be slaves?

[28:30] Oliver: No.

[28:30] Georgina Mulligan: No, is right. But guess what?

[28:32] Oliver: What?

[28:32] Georgina Mulligan: The cotton sure got picked, didn't it?

[28:34] Oliver: But moving your father's dead body. It's just wrong.

[28:36] Georgina Mulligan: Let me tell you something. That cotton got picked and right and wrong didn't have nothing to say about it.

[28:45] Oliver: So maybe it's the wrong thing to do at the right time.

[28:49] Georgina Mulligan: You sound like a fortune cookie.

[28:51] Oliver: What does that mean?

[28:53] Georgina Mulligan: I don't know, but I do know you've done the right thing all your life. Maybe we can do something wrong just once.

[29:02] Oliver: Well, I do wrong stuff all the time, but you could do it once and get our old lifestyle back.

[29:08] Georgina Mulligan: No one's going to give it to us.

[29:10] Oliver: You are talking insurance fraud. They'll do an investigation.

[29:14] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, just because you are used to jail doesn't mean I am.

[29:19] Oliver: I'm familiar with jail.

[29:21] Georgina Mulligan: I'm not yet used to it, mother.

[29:23] Oliver: I'm sorry, Oliver. I can't put a price on my freedom.

[29:27] Georgina Mulligan: I can. And I'm looking at the number.

[29:29] Oliver: It's $150,000.

[29:31] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe we could pool our money and buy a really nice place together in Hancock Park.

[29:36] Oliver: I'm sure one of those old bidies over there is about to kick the bucket. We could get a nice deal.

[29:41] Georgina Mulligan: Together?

[29:42] Oliver: Together forever.

[29:43] Georgina Mulligan: With this kind of money.

[29:47] Oliver: It's all so sudden. And I know it's wrong. But he is dead.

[29:53] Georgina Mulligan: I agree. He is most certainly dead.

[29:56] Oliver: What does he care, right?

[29:57] Georgina Mulligan: He literally could not care less.

[29:59] Oliver: If I only had a sign from God.

[30:02] Georgina Mulligan: Seriously? You want God to call you on your cell phone and say, Georgina, you got this.

[30:06] Oliver: Oh, he works in a mysterious way. I need to pray.

[30:10] Georgina Mulligan: No, better yet. What are you doing?

[30:13] Oliver: Mother, please don't get my own Ouija board.

[30:17] Georgina Mulligan: I need advice from our ancestors on the other side.

[30:20] Oliver: You barrel to your phone when your ancestors on this side call you.

[30:23] Georgina Mulligan: I don't always recognize the number.

[30:25] Oliver: Does this Ouija board come with the caller ID?

[30:28] Georgina Mulligan: Put your fingertips on. Don't cheat.

[30:30] Oliver: Okay. Now shut up.

[30:32] Georgina Mulligan: Me or the Ouija board.

[30:33] Oliver: Hush.

[30:34] Georgina Mulligan: Ouija board.

[30:36] Oliver: Are you ready to begin?

[30:39] Georgina Mulligan: Give me a sign.

[30:41] Oliver: Give me a sign.

[30:44] Georgina Mulligan: Give me a sign.

[30:48] Oliver: It's a sign.

[30:50] Georgina Mulligan: Oh my God.

[30:51] Oliver: Oh, Jesus! I need to.

[30:53] Georgina Mulligan: It's not the father or his son.

[30:55] Oliver: It's Uncle Todd.

[30:56] Georgina Mulligan: Why in the hell is he calling your father?

[30:59] Oliver: Let it go to voicemail.

[31:01] Georgina Mulligan: Put it back in your father's pocket.

[31:04] Oliver: Oh, look at these. God bless him.

[31:07] Georgina Mulligan: What's that?

[31:07] Oliver: It's his lotto tickets. I guess today wasn't his lucky day.

[31:12] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, God.

[31:14] Oliver: Who is this?

[31:16] Georgina Mulligan: It's Helen.

[31:17] Oliver: What does she want?

[31:18] Georgina Mulligan: Are you gonna answer it?

[31:20] Oliver: Lord. Then you can't get her off the phone.

[31:23] Georgina Mulligan: Daddy, I'll have rigor mortars by the time she finishes yipping and yapping.

[31:28] Oliver: Hey, Helen! I'm downstairs.

[31:31] Georgina Mulligan: Todd just dropped me off. Let me in before I have to make somebody.

[31:37] Oliver: Hell Helen, now is not mine.

[31:40] Georgina Mulligan: Your neighbor is coming out.

[31:41] Oliver: Hi.

[31:42] Georgina Mulligan: Hello.

[31:44] Oliver: Have we met? Are you visiting someone?

[31:47] Georgina Mulligan: You see, I have to be very careful like that is.

[31:50] Oliver: I understand.

[31:51] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, my sister.

[31:53] Oliver: What now?

[31:58] Georgina Mulligan: Hello.

[32:00] Oliver: This is Helen. And it's a great day to be alive.

[32:05] Georgina Mulligan: She's on her way up!

[32:06] Oliver: You said you wanted a sign.

[32:15] Georgina Mulligan: Well, it looks like the only sign Oliver will need is a big fat money sign.

[32:23] Oliver: And will Georgina's ancestors answer her call.

[32:28] Georgina Mulligan: Or if they blocked her number.

[32:31] Oliver: Vind out after a brief message from our sponsor.

[32:37] Georgina Mulligan: She's on her way up!

[32:38] Oliver: You said you wanted a sign.

[32:40] Georgina Mulligan: But is it a sign to do it or not to do it?

[32:44] Oliver: What do you think I should do?

[32:46] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, have you heard of the term ask hole?

[32:48] Oliver: Don't talk about your Aunt Helen that way.

[32:51] Georgina Mulligan: Not in listen. The gig is up, so we should call the coroner now.

[32:56] Oliver: You're right.

[32:58] Georgina Mulligan: Okay, let's move him. And when she leaves, I'll decide.

[33:01] Oliver: But we got to get rid of her quick. Where should we move, Daddy?

[33:05] Georgina Mulligan: The closet. She may try and hang up her coat, being nosy.

[33:10] Oliver: No, no, no. Put him in the steamer trunk. She never looking there.

[33:14] Georgina Mulligan: And I can lock it.

[33:15] Oliver: And that is what we refer to as an asshole. He can be rolled out in that.

[33:20] Georgina Mulligan: If we don't do it, we can just dump him back out.

[33:24] Oliver: I mean, lift him back out, not dump. I mean, if you think that would work, I'm so confused.

[33:30] Georgina Mulligan: I don't know what to do.

[33:32] Oliver: It sounds like you do know what to do.

[33:34] Georgina Mulligan: I'll get his legs. Let's get him in this trunk, okay?

[33:37] Oliver: Okay, on three.

[33:38] Georgina Mulligan: Okay. One, two, three.

[33:42] Oliver: Take the stairs.

[33:44] Georgina Mulligan: Cut her off before she comes up.

[33:45] Oliver: Got it. The stairs.

[33:47] Georgina Mulligan: What should I tell her?

[33:48] Oliver: You can't think of a lie?

[33:51] Georgina Mulligan: Seriously. Tell her I'm sick.

[33:53] Oliver: Tell her I just entered the witness protection program.

[33:56] Georgina Mulligan: I got abducted by you after.

[33:57] Oliver: Oh, just don't let her come up here.

[34:01] Georgina Mulligan: Okay.

[34:02] Oliver: Who? What's this?

[34:04] Georgina Mulligan: Another ticket. The money you wasted on these stupid lotto tickets.

[34:09] Oliver: What good they do us?

[34:17] Herb Garson: Welcome back to Celebrity Gossip News. So last week, Pop Princess Marissa J overdosed at the Roscoe chicken and waffles in Los Angeles.

[34:29] Georgina Mulligan: By the way, I love their chicken and waffles.

[34:32] Herb Garson: We were the first to post the pictures of the pop princess dead on the throne, so to speak.

[34:48] Georgina Mulligan: Horrible. I don't want to see her in the casket.

[34:48] Herb Garson: We'll have those pictures when we're going to break.

[34:54] Georgina Mulligan: It's Helen.

[34:55] Oliver: Didn't I tell him not to let Helen come up here?

[35:03] Georgina Mulligan: Hi.

[35:06] Helen: My husband has been blowing up your husband's phone. Where's Brady?

[35:12] Georgina Mulligan: Who are you looking down the hall for?

[35:14] Helen: He's not coming up.

[35:16] Georgina Mulligan: No.

[35:17] Helen: He is.

[35:18] Georgina Mulligan: He'll be back.

[35:19] Helen: Oh, my Todd?

[35:21] Georgina Mulligan: I said he just dropped me off.

[35:24] Helen: No.

[35:25] Georgina Mulligan: Ollie.

[35:26] Helen: He just went down the stairs to meet you.

[35:28] Georgina Mulligan: Why?

[35:29] Helen: I took the stairs up. I didn't see him.

[35:32] Georgina Mulligan: He didn't take.

[35:34] Helen: I told him to take the stairs.

[35:37] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't want you to climb 13 flights to have to turn back around and leave.

[35:42] Helen: I just got here.

[35:44] Georgina Mulligan: I have to catch my breath.

[35:46] Helen: Why do I have to turn back around?

[35:49] Georgina Mulligan: Girl, this coat closet? You don't believe in letting anything go, do you?

[35:55] Helen: Is that your old girl?

[35:58] Georgina Mulligan: It's none of my business.

[36:00] Helen: What does that people do?

[36:03] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, it smells so good in here. You baking cakes?

[36:07] Helen: By the way, did you get that other coach purse I sent you?

[36:11] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, thank you. It's beautiful.

[36:14] Helen: I'm not feeling very very good. I think I may have caught a bug or something.

[36:20] Georgina Mulligan: I was about to go lie down.

[36:22] Helen: Good, you got it. You never mentioned it, so I didn't know if you got it.

[36:27] Georgina Mulligan: You know how people steal packages right off your front steps these days.

[36:31] Helen: Let me fill your forehead. You don't feel warm.

[36:35] Georgina Mulligan: Coach sponsored the gala at the Dorothy Chandler, so I asked for an extra one for you.

[36:40] Helen: Oh, there it is. It's not even in stores yet. It's cute, right?

[36:46] Georgina Mulligan: You're baking a cake while you're sick?

[36:51] Helen: I won't be eating any of that contaminated cake. Remember, mother used to say birthday cake was the dirtiest cake in the world.

[37:01] Georgina Mulligan: People spitting all over it when they blow out the candles.

[37:04] Helen: She tickled me.

[37:05] Georgina Mulligan: It's not a birthday cake. And it's not for you, it's for the church fundraiser.

[37:10] Helen: Oh, look. It's on TV.

[37:14] Georgina Mulligan: Welcome back. Isn't that sad about Marissa? Poor thing. These kids and these drugs. It breaks my heart.

[37:23] Helen: Now look, someone she knew snapping pictures of her dead in the casket.

[37:28] Georgina Mulligan: You can't even rest in peace at your own funeral. They keep showing that picture of her in the casket. It's horrid.

[37:34] Helen: I mean, the dress is nice, but that hair is a mess.

[37:38] Georgina Mulligan: Mm-hmm. No different from when she was alive, poor thing.

[37:42] Helen: You know, Lola knew her from school. She said she was really sweet before the drugs.

[37:48] Georgina Mulligan: Gina, now that you mention it, you do look kind of worn out.

[37:53] Helen: There is a virus going around. Do you have muscle and joint pain?

[37:57] Georgina Mulligan: Yes.

[37:58] Helen: I sure do. I should probably lie down.

[38:02] Georgina Mulligan: Wait. Do you have malaise? Headache? Mild fever?

[38:06] Helen: Yes, now that you mention it, I think I do.

[38:09] Georgina Mulligan: Don't lie down!

[38:11] Helen: Zika virus! I just heard about it all on NPR. They say whatever you do, don't lie down.

[38:18] Georgina Mulligan: Wait, or is that a concussion?

[38:20] Helen: I don't feel that bad, Helen.

[38:23] Georgina Mulligan: That's how the virus starts.

[38:24] Georgina Mulligan: I'm gonna go in this kitchen and boil you up this detoxification tea I have. I have some for my new shaman. You remember Randy, our old contractor. He put in the infinity pool. And I talked about him so bad because it took forever. Well, he changed his name to Takataka Kaboom. He's a certified shaman now. That Randy was an awful contractor, but Takataka is a great shaman. He really is. Are these Duncan Hines box cakes? You're making box cakes for the church fundraiser? You are a miss! It's the thought that counts, right? Mind your business. Let me finish making this for you, Miss Grumpy, and I will be on my very way. It's supposed to get all the toxins out of you. So you might need the whole damn box. Oh, what are all these boxes over there?

[39:23] Helen: What boxes? Am I hallucinating? You don't see boxes stacked up by the door? Are you finally giving this old stuff to the good will? Thank goodness all this clutter will make you sick.

[39:38] Georgina Mulligan: How about you just worry about your clutter? Oliver is moving out.

[39:45] Helen: What? Did you just say?

[39:47] Georgina Mulligan: Well, it's about time, isn't it? Wait. Moving out or getting kicked out. What did he do now?

[39:56] Helen: Nothing. He's writing again.

[40:00] Georgina Mulligan: What? Bad checks. Is that what he did again?

[40:04] Helen: No. Thank God. He didn't do anything, Helen. A mother's love. Ain't nothing like it. Except glaucoma.

[40:11] Georgina Mulligan: Glaucoma? I'm not blind. He's not a bad person.

[40:16] Helen: No, just a bad thief. That's why he keeps going to jail. Brady and him got into a terrible fight about whatever it was he did. I was afraid Oliver might physically do him harm.

[40:28] Georgina Mulligan: Really? Oh, honey, Ollie wouldn't hurt a fly. He's too lazy. He'd steal the fly's wings, but only if the fly sat the wings down somewhere and stepped away. He just doesn't want to work. Brady tells him all the time. You act like you're afraid to get your hands dirty.

[40:47] Helen: He is. Speaking of Brady, where is he?

[40:51] Georgina Mulligan: At the video store. Working late. You know he's looking through his lotto tickets to see if he won, huh?

[41:00] Helen: You know I don't believe in that foolishness.

[41:02] Georgina Mulligan: Neither do I. I got mine though. I even bought some for my cleaning lady and my gardener. If they win, they better not quit. If Brady wins, he's gonna buy you a palace. I know how much you hate living on this side of town.

[41:17] Helen: I never said I hate living here.

[41:19] Georgina Mulligan: You say it every chance you get. I say, Gina, wasn't it hot today? Then you'll say it was worse over here, Helen. That's why I hate living over here. I guess it's grown on me since then.

[41:31] Helen: Since yesterday. You know this area is gonna flip soon. Mark my words, George Lucas is building a movie studio over here.

[41:41] Georgina Mulligan: Or is it a museum?

[41:43] Helen: It's a museum. This area is going to flip like a pancake.

[41:48] Georgina Mulligan: That's what they say.

[41:50] Helen: It's true, Gina. Have you noticed how homeless people now have great shoes?

[41:55] Georgina Mulligan: Yes. I saw one bag lady wearing a pair of what I am pretty sure were a pair of Louutons, rare bottoms.

[42:01] Helen: They're not homeless. They're the hipsters taking over this area. They all like to look homeless. Don't ask me why. I was at an art opening over this way. Tall man walked in with long blonde hair, looking like Jesus on his 39th day in the desert. I said he's either homeless, coming off the street for free wine, or a Calvin Klein model coming off the runway.

[42:23] Georgina Mulligan: Which was he?

[42:24] Helen: They said he was some famous model, and he bought a purple smudge on a white canvas for ten thousand dollars. It looked like the artist accidentally dropped grape jelly on a tablecloth, and his art dealer said, waste not whatnot. Put a price tag on it. I'm telling you, now is the time to buy over here.

[42:42] Georgina Mulligan: Unfortunately, I'm not rich like you.

[42:45] Helen: Oh, shut up. We are both rich. We just circulate our money in different ways.

[42:50] Georgina Mulligan: Well, that's what you always say.

[42:52] Helen: It's true. Hey, we could buy a duplex together. We'd be investors. I could put the 20% down, and one tenant could cover the mortgage. You could live there free and just manage the property. Wouldn't that be great?

[43:07] Georgina Mulligan: I always wanted to be a slumlord.

[43:10] Helen: You'd rather just rent from one. Okay. Anyway, moving on. My husband was trying to call your husband.

[43:19] Georgina Mulligan: Why?

[43:20] Helen: He's excited about his new car.

[43:22] Georgina Mulligan: Well, he's not here.

[43:24] Helen: I can see he's not here, Georgina. Why are you so snippy? I'm trying to be nice.

[43:31] Georgina Mulligan: I am I'm sorry, but I told you I wasn't feeling well, didn't I?

[43:37] Helen: Okay. Okay. You don't have to tell me twice. I can take a hint. I just had an ask for Lola's wedding.

[43:46] Georgina Mulligan: I told her I would do it.

[43:47] Helen: Do what?

[43:48] Georgina Mulligan: Make her wedding cake.

[43:50] Helen: You're gonna make her a box cake?

[43:52] Georgina Mulligan: Say box cake one more time, and I will. I'm just kidding. First of all, she didn't ask you to do it, you offered. Now you won't return her calls or texts.

[44:03] Helen: I've just been so busy.

[44:05] Georgina Mulligan: Doing what?

[44:06] Helen: Minding my business.

[44:08] Georgina Mulligan: Which is what?

[44:09] Helen: None of yours. Well, ain't you in a mood today? You asked me why you don't have any likes on Facebook.

[44:17] Georgina Mulligan: This is why.

[44:18] Helen: I never asked you that.

[44:20] Georgina Mulligan: Tell her I'll do it. That ship has sailed, and you ain't on it.

[44:25] Helen: The wedding is months away. The ship shouldn't even be at the dock yet.

[44:29] Georgina Mulligan: The ship was at the dock. Folks got on, they cracked the champagne on the side of it, and it has sailed on. You know that reality show is doing her entire wedding, and they don't have time to waste.

[44:41] Helen: Did I tell you a reality show is doing her entire wedding?

[44:45] Georgina Mulligan: The entire thing from soup to nuts.

[44:48] Helen: Yes, yes, I think you've mentioned it a million times.

[44:51] Georgina Mulligan: No, I haven't. Have I? Well, they are. It's not like I'm lying. The truth ain't no rumor. The producers selected some famous celebrity chefs to make their cake. Can you believe we are living in a time where you can be famous for being a cook for somebody halfway famous?

[45:12] Helen: Lola said she was trying to get you in the running, but apparently Miss Duncan Hines can't return calls to her only niece. She's too busy minding her own business.

[45:21] Georgina Mulligan: I didn't know that was what she was calling for. You need context to return my child's call. Anyway, since the network is paying for the whole wedding, it's up to them. It's saving us a fortune. So it would be Sarah Lee as far as I'm concerned.

[45:37] Helen: The exposure would have been great for my cake business. If you're not returning calls, is it a business or a hobby?

[45:46] Georgina Mulligan: Why do they keep showing poor Marissa dead in that casket? They must have paid a lot of money for that photo.

[45:54] Helen: And clearly they are trying to make every cent back. I think one of her relatives took that picture and sold it.

[46:01] Georgina Mulligan: No. Really? How do you know? Is that what they said?

[46:05] Helen: Which one? I'm sure. That family was always sketchy, especially that mother. My heart goes out to them. It's horrible all the way around.

[46:16] Georgina Mulligan: I know. Overdosing at Roscoe's chicken and waffles of all places. I mean, really. And the one on Pico? Can it get any worse? At least go to the one in Pasadena to have an overdose. Poor thing. I just hope she got to eat first.

[46:34] Helen: You know, Lola said Oliver and her were an item in high school. They were prom king and queen.

[46:41] Georgina Mulligan: That's right. I forgot about that. Gosh, time flies. And stand still at the same time.

[46:48] Helen: Oh. You are starting to look bad, Gina. Really beat down and worn out. Go to your doctor tomorrow and get checked out for Zika.

[46:59] Georgina Mulligan: Say Zika virus one more time, Helen, and I swear.

[47:02] Helen: Okay. Not another word. I didn't see her downstairs.

[47:08] Georgina Mulligan: Speak of the devil and hell walks in. Give your favorite auto hog. You must have forgotten your Aunt Helen's agoraphobia. That's why I specifically told you to take the stairs.

[47:23] Helen: All that money you spend on psychoanalysis, and you still afraid of elevators.

[47:27] Georgina Mulligan: I'm not afraid of them. I just don't want to die in one.

[47:31] Helen: Speaking of dying. Marissa.

[47:35] Georgina Mulligan: Oh, uh, people have to learn how to just say no. And people also need to wipe the cocaine from under their nose.

[47:44] Helen: No, I'm talking about the photo of her dead in the casket. It would be worse if she wasn't dead in the casket.

[47:51] Georgina Mulligan: Stop being silly. You two were loved at Westlake Academy. Everyone loved and adored me back then. Then we went broke and no one loved me anymore, including the deceased.

[48:02] Helen: It's true what they say. Peacock today, feather duster tomorrow. Your mother says that you're moving out.

[48:09] Georgina Mulligan: Thrown out would be more accurate.

[48:12] Helen: Really? I guess that's how baby birds learn to fly, though. Even at 30 something. Just gotta flap those wings and didn't you say you knew how to take a hint?

[48:23] Georgina Mulligan: Huh? Oh. Can you imagine if we met most of what we said? Don't worry. Todd will be here shortly to scoop me back up.

[48:33] Helen: Where is Uncle Toddy? Is he coming up here?

[48:36] Georgina Mulligan: He's driving around the block. He's got that new Tesla.

[48:40] Helen: Wow. How much did that set him back?

[48:42] Georgina Mulligan: That's so tacky to ask that. Chachina, you didn't teach your child better manners than that. You don't ask someone how much something cost.

[48:52] Helen: It was a hundred and thirty-four thousand dollars. Isn't that ridiculous for a car? Do you know what I can do with 134,000? I could buy me a Tesla.

[49:03] Georgina Mulligan: Is he coming up? He was afraid to park in this neighborhood. He said it looks like the walking dead around here, so he's driving around.

[49:12] Helen: The walking what? It's a TV show about the entertainment business in Los Angeles.

[49:17] Georgina Mulligan: Mother, he's afraid of the crackheads in the park. Isn't that silly? I mean, what's a crackhead gonna do with a Tesla? I mean, where would they plug it in?

[49:27] Helen: You didn't come just to see your favorite nephew? The last time I came to see you, you were away at college, as your mother likes to call it. I even gave your mother some money to put on your books. I mean, for your books. She never mentioned that.

[49:43] Georgina Mulligan: Didn't I? Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I had other things on my mind, like getting you out of jail. As you could imagine, I was deep in my studies.

[49:54] Helen: Well, that is what college is all about, right? Learn the lessons that you didn't learn in school.

[50:01] Georgina Mulligan: Helen, what exactly do you want? We are kind of in the middle of something.

[50:07] Helen: I can see. Ollie, your mother has been trying to kick me out since I got here. I don't know why.

[50:12] Georgina Mulligan: Listen, I have very exciting news.

[50:19] Helen: Oh my gosh! Is that the old steamer truck?

[50:23] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, sit on the couch with me. Um, don't sit on it.

[50:27] Helen: Why?

[50:28] Georgina Mulligan: We use it as a coffee table. Now we put our plates on it. We use it as a coffee table now.

[50:37] Helen: Oh. I'll sit by you, nephew, at least until we can get your mother checked out for that Zika. Did your mother ever tell you how she locked me in that trunk when we were little girls?

[50:48] Georgina Mulligan: It was an accident. And didn't I say I was sorry? After mother beat you with that ping pong paddle.

[50:54] Helen: I don't remember.

[50:55] Georgina Mulligan: I'll never forget it. It was almost like I was being beat myself. Almost. You and I are gonna be on TV.

[51:05] Helen: What? How? Why? When? Well, what about me? We're not doing America's most wanted.

[51:14] Georgina Mulligan: You got jokes.

[51:15] Helen: Forgive me.

[51:16] Georgina Mulligan: It was cops.

[51:17] Helen: Oh, forgive me.

[51:18] Georgina Mulligan: Cops.

[51:19] Helen: I do not see why you two think that's so funny.

[51:22] Oliver: Let her finish, please.

[51:24] Georgina Mulligan: The producers of the wedding show did a pre-interview with me.

[51:28] Helen: Well, why did they interview you?

[51:29] Georgina Mulligan: I'm the mother of the damn bride, Georgina. Why wouldn't they interview me?

[51:31] Helen: I still can't believe Lola found a sucker to marry her.

[51:36] Georgina Mulligan: That nose job was a good investment. It really paid for itself.

[51:39] Helen: And the show is paying for everything else.

[51:42] Georgina Mulligan: It saved us about a hundred grand.

[51:44] Helen: That's a down payment on a house.

[51:45] Georgina Mulligan: Your mother's wedding was about that much.

[51:48] Helen: All that money for one day.

[51:51] Georgina Mulligan: I bet a lot of people wish they had that money now, huh?

[51:54] Oliver: Hmm.

[51:54] Georgina Mulligan: Anyway, I told the producers about our great grandma's diamond and pearl wedding necklace and how it's been passed down to the women in our family.

[52:02] Georgina Mulligan: To wear on their wedding day. Your mother was the last to wear it, so I figured we could give it to her on TV together.

[52:10] Helen: The producers ate it up like wedding cake.

[52:14] Georgina Mulligan: Yes, like wedding cake. It would mean so much to Lola, especially since she thinks we hate each other.

[52:20] Helen: But why would she think that?

[52:22] Georgina Mulligan: She's an only child, so she doesn't know how sisters can hate each other and love each other at the same time.

[52:28] Helen: I don't hate you, Helen.

[52:31] Georgina Mulligan: I was just kidding.

[52:33] Helen: Who cares about what stupid Lola thinks? Why are you crying?

[52:38] Georgina Mulligan: You're gonna make me cry.

[52:39] Helen: Because of the necklace. Isn't it a great idea?

[52:43] Georgina Mulligan: Where is it?

[52:45] Helen: Uh, I don't have it anymore.

[52:50] Georgina Mulligan: I had to pawn it.

[52:55] Helen: Stop being silly. You never pawn that.

[53:01] Georgina Mulligan: Oh my god. You're not joking.

[53:03] Oliver: Take the tea kettle off, please.

[53:08] Georgina Mulligan: I needed the money to post bail for Oliver.

[53:12] Helen: Which time?

[53:13] Georgina Mulligan: The first time. I couldn't let you sit in jail and be molested or God knows what.

[53:20] Oliver: Why not? I mean, of course not. The necklace was just sitting there, not being used.

[53:25] Georgina Mulligan: You couldn't ask me for the money.

[53:28] Helen: I had just borrowed all that money from you to try to save our old house. I couldn't ask for another loan.

[53:33] Georgina Mulligan: A loan is something you have to pay back.

[53:35] Helen: I never asked for that money back. My intention was to pay you back, Helen, and I couldn't take another handout from you.

[53:42] Georgina Mulligan: Now it's a handout?

[53:43] Helen: Was it a loan or a handout? Do you think it's easy having to ask you for money?

[53:49] Georgina Mulligan: You make it look easy.

[53:51] Helen: It isn't. And that's why I did it.

[53:54] Georgina Mulligan: Cheetah. Los Angeles is in the middle of a drought, and you are wasting water with those crocodile tears.

[54:00] Helen: What's that supposed to mean?

[54:02] Georgina Mulligan: Forget it. I release it and let it go.

[54:07] Helen: Well, in a way, it was your idea to sell it. I mean, you gave me the idea.

[54:11] Georgina Mulligan: You said there was nothing wrong with selling things if I needed extra money.

[54:17] Helen: I meant like Avon or Amway or this old oversized furniture. Not a family heirloom.

[54:23] Georgina Mulligan: And you said yourself that you'd never thought that Lola would get married.

[54:28] Helen: It wasn't legal back then. And plus I stopped saying that after she had that gastric bypass surgery five years ago.

[54:34] Georgina Mulligan: I was going to go back and get the necklace out, and by the time I went back, it was gone.

[54:39] Helen: Gone?

[54:40] Georgina Mulligan: Gone.

[54:41] Helen: Did you know your mother was doing this?

[54:43] Oliver: No, I didn't even know there was a necklace.

[54:46] Georgina Mulligan: I think I did what any mother would do for her child.

[54:49] Helen: Enable them? It didn't occur to you to tell me you were going to pawn it and give me a chance to buy it first.

[54:55] Georgina Mulligan: It's always about you, isn't it? The line always starts behind Helen the Great.

[55:01] Helen: Please explain how you pawning a family heirloom to get your son out of jail is about me.

[55:07] Georgina Mulligan: Even when we were kids, it was always about you. I guess I'm just not as quick on my feet or as smart as you always were.

[55:15] Helen: Even when we were kids. So are we back to the stone age?

[55:19] Georgina Mulligan: I feel horrible.

[55:20] Helen: Don't blame yourself.

[55:21] Georgina Mulligan: Why the hell not? Sometimes people should blame themselves.

[55:25] Helen: No, shame to my game.

[55:27] Georgina Mulligan: There should be shame to people's game. You should both blame yourselves and feel horrible.

[55:33] Oliver: You for always getting into trouble and you for always bailing him out of it.

[55:38] Georgina Mulligan: No, no, no. You, Georgina, for not telling me you were gonna pawn something that wasn't yours to sell.

[55:44] Georgina Mulligan: I am sorry if I love my child more than I love a trinket.

[55:48] Helen: If it was just a trinket, why didn't you see if I wanted it?

[55:52] Georgina Mulligan: Maybe I didn't want you to have it. I mean, that's the sister I know.

[55:59] Helen: You know, Daddy thought you were dumb, but mother knew how vindictive you were. That's why mother used to take me out of school for our secret spa days because she thought I was so vindictive.

[56:12] Georgina Mulligan: She made me promise not to mention it to you. And until now, I never did because I never wanted to make you feel bad.

[56:19] Helen: You big dummy!

[56:23] Georgina Mulligan: That's so funny.

[56:25] Helen: It's true. She did.

[56:28] Oliver: Your mother didn't want to make me feel bad until now.

[56:33] Georgina Mulligan: Georgina, she did that for the both of us. Both of us.

[56:38] Helen: I guess I'm just a horrible person.

[56:40] Georgina Mulligan: I guess you guessed right then.

[56:44] Helen: But I always thought I was doing the right thing.

[56:48] Georgina Mulligan: You've always blamed me for losing our parents' house. Since you keep bringing it up to this day, I'm not quite sure how you lose a house that's paid for when you inherited it, or how a new will popped up that left you everything, but it did, Helen.

[57:05] Helen: It did, didn't it? But you couldn't hold on to it or a goddamn necklace.

[57:11] Georgina Mulligan: I just don't quite understand it.

[57:12] Helen: What's to understand? You were off traveling the world, focusing on your dad's career, and I stayed back to take care of our parents.

[57:21] Georgina Mulligan: I'm so tired of that story, Gina.

[57:23] Helen: She's tired. You don't know what tired is. Try taking care of a sick parent.

[57:28] Georgina Mulligan: I hope you never have that problem, Oliver.

[57:31] Oliver: So this is what's true. You didn't make it into the touring company because you got knocked up.

[57:37] Georgina Mulligan: I did, and you always resented me for it.

[57:40] Helen: But I wasn't on vacation. I was working. I've been paying my own way since I was 18.

[57:46] Georgina Mulligan: That's your truth, but it's not mine. I said it before, and I will say it again. The truth ain't no rumor.

[57:53] Helen: Just because you ignore or choose to be ignorant of a fact doesn't make it false.

[57:58] Georgina Mulligan: Here's another fact. Our parents were fine when I left. Played tennis three times a week, so I'm not sure who you felt like you had to take care of since you were knocked up, unemployed, and didn't have two nickels to rub together.

[58:12] Oliver: Liars! Let's pull out his birth certificate and compare it to your wedding certificates. Dates don't lie.

[58:22] Georgina Mulligan: What's that ringing?

[58:24] Helen: Is there a phone inside the steamer trunk?

[58:27] Georgina Mulligan: It's my old cell phone. I have all my stuff packed in there for the move. I must have forgot to turn it off.

[58:32] Oliver: Oh, listen. I didn't come here to argue with you.

[58:37] Georgina Mulligan: Really? You could have fooled me.

[58:39] Helen: I just thought we could do something nice as sisters for Lola's wedding.

[58:44] Georgina Mulligan: At least for TV.

[58:46] Helen: Exactly. At least on TV. I thought the necklace would be a nice thing to do.

[58:54] Georgina Mulligan: You know, something old.

[58:57] Helen: The house.

[58:58] Georgina Mulligan: The house is old.

[59:00] Oliver: I am. Yes. Well, no, not really. But you said the money we would have spent on the wedding is a down payment on a house.

[59:11] Georgina Mulligan: I have an even better idea for a wedding gift. You are going to die.

[59:15] Helen: What?

[59:16] Georgina Mulligan: Again? How many times does one have to die tonight?

[59:19] Oliver: You know that rapper, Count Basie that bought our old house.

[59:22] Georgina Mulligan: No, it's Count the Bass G. I love the gospel remix of his song.

[59:26] Helen: Your lips say no, but your other lips be screaming.

[59:29] Georgina Mulligan: Yes. That vulgar man. He stuck 400 statues of Venus de Milo all over the lawn, up the driveway, on the roof.

[59:37] Helen: That beautiful house looks crazy now.

[59:40] Georgina Mulligan: It looks like a bordello. And I heard it looks just as gaudy inside.

[59:45] Helen: My old friends in Hancock still don't talk to me because of that man bought that house like it was my fault.

[59:52] Georgina Mulligan: Is that why you think they don't talk to you? What about the house?

[59:56] Helen: He declared bankruptcy. Imagine that. The house is going on the market.

[1:00:00] Georgina Mulligan: We're not using the wedding savings. I'll put an offering on the house. Remove those statues, trip it back to the original house, give them the keys for a wedding gift on the show.

[1:00:13] Helen: That would be the something old. The house. Isn't that a great idea?

[1:00:19] Georgina Mulligan: I mean, it needs so much work.

[1:00:21] Helen: If it's that crazy on the outside, what would it look like on the inside?

[1:00:26] Georgina Mulligan: I know, but we know the bones are good. And the location is great.

[1:00:30] Helen: We have the extra money since we're not using it for the wedding.

[1:00:34] Georgina Mulligan: I'm just saying, I imagine it needs so much work, and who knows if they even want to live there.

[1:00:40] Helen: I got it. It needs work. I'm not afraid of work.

[1:00:44] Georgina Mulligan: Besides, it's not like either of you plan on picking up a hammer and nail and getting your hands dirty. I mean, you're welcome to do so.

[1:00:51] Helen: You know, I'll do whatever I can. I love that house more than anything.

[1:00:56] Georgina Mulligan: Now it'll be back in the family, and we can have family gatherings there like we used to before. Won't that be great?

[1:01:02] Helen: Yes.

[1:01:04] Georgina Mulligan: Of course.

[1:01:05] Helen: That was not convincing at all.

[1:01:07] Georgina Mulligan: Brady will think it's a good idea.

[1:01:09] Helen: Does he normally work this late?

[1:01:12] Georgina Mulligan: Do you think he's trapped in the trunk?

[1:01:14] Helen: What? What did you say?

[1:01:16] Georgina Mulligan: I said, do you think he's trapped at work?

[1:01:20] Helen: What's wrong with you two? You're both acting extra strange.

[1:01:24] Georgina Mulligan: Nothing. It's a great idea. The house.

[1:01:26] Helen: Right, Mom?

[1:01:27] Georgina Mulligan: Right. I can't think of anything greater than that house being back in our family.

[1:01:32] Helen: God is good.

[1:01:34] Georgina Mulligan: All the time, sis. Can I borrow that old picture of mom and dad on the TV? I can have it scanned and put the picture in a locket for her.

[1:01:42] Helen: Or don't you want me to have that eat? I swear you can be so hateful, Helen.

[1:01:49] Georgina Mulligan: Hey, sweetie. I'll be right down.

[1:01:51] Helen: She said he's at work.

[1:01:53] Georgina Mulligan: I know. He'll see it when he sees it.

[1:01:56] Helen: Hey, I have a great idea about what to do with Lola's wedding money. Get your checkbook handy.

[1:02:00] Georgina Mulligan: Hello?

[1:02:04] Helen: Not a bad connection. Sit tight.

[1:02:08] Georgina Mulligan: Shut up. No one is going to carjack you.

[1:02:12] Helen: I'll be right down. Here's a picture of mommy and daddy. The glass frame is Waterford.

[1:02:17] Georgina Mulligan: It's Crystal. Do you want to keep the frame too?

[1:02:23] Helen: Huh? Oh, no. Daddy gave it to mommy for their 15th anniversary. It's Waterford.

[1:02:27] Georgina Mulligan: Crystal. Fifteen years is real. Crystal.

[1:02:34] Helen: You know what? Keep it. She should have it. Long as it stays in the family, right?

[1:02:40] Georgina Mulligan: Give it to Lola as our wedding present.

[1:02:43] Helen: Oh, that's so sweet of you. I'm sure she'll love it.

[1:02:47] Georgina Mulligan: I'll let you two get back to whatever you were up to. Good luck, Oliver.

[1:02:51] Oliver: With what?

[1:02:54] Georgina Mulligan: Moving.

[1:02:56] Oliver: Moving what? I'm not moving anything.

[1:02:58] Georgina Mulligan: Hmm. That's what I thought. You ain't never leaving.

[1:03:02] Helen: Helen, give your husband a hug for me.

[1:03:05] Georgina Mulligan: I will. And I'm so sorry I didn't get to see Brady. When you see him, give him my love.

[1:03:13] Helen: You sold that necklace? A family heirloom because of me?

[1:03:16] Georgina Mulligan: Huh? Oh, that Aunt Helen was right. She always thinks she's right.

[1:03:22] Oliver: But I know one thing she's not gonna be right about. If anyone is gonna buy that house, it's gonna be me and you.

[1:03:41] Georgina Mulligan: No!

[1:03:41] Helen: Oh yes. Join us again for Act Two of DEAD WAIT. A journey in Afroexistentialism.