This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Becca Tilley: Hello, I'm Becca Tilley, and you're listening to The Art of Kindness Podcast.

[0:30] Robert Peterpaul: Hello, friends. I'm back. I apologize for the delay in episodes, but we have been moving into our first house. Did you hear that echo? Because I'm in a bigger space. I don't know if there was an echo. But one of the most exciting things about moving into this dreamy cottage that has become our home has been showing our cats around, our pets. And these little furry family members have been a little stressed because of all the moving boxes, all of their furniture being shifted around. I don't know why I said their furniture. Well, I do know why, because they think it's theirs and they march all over it. And now that we're in the space, you know, I really want to make sure that everything is clean for them.

Everything is OK and safe for them to venture into, all the nooks and crannies. And so this got me thinking, how can I be kind to my cats in this way? And Mrs. Myers has the answer with their new pet care line. And, you know, who better to talk to about this than their ambassador, the amazing Becca Tilley. A Louisiana native, you most likely know Becca Tilley from The Bachelor. This 30-something resides in Los Angeles, California, with her girlfriend and their pup, Phoebe. She is one of the personalities behind People's Choice Awarded podcast Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley and Tanya Rad and a lifestyle influencer and content creator. Go check out her pages. She's posting the most joyful things.

Becca was quickly put in the public eye through season 19 of The Bachelor and an additional run on season 20. You can usually find her eating McDonald's or sipping a Dr. Pepper in her free time or spritzing Phoebe, her pup, with some Mrs. Myers pet care. OK, we get into that. We talk the Wicked movie and just have such a wonderful time together. She was so sweet. And I'm thankful that our paths have crossed. I'm also thankful that I have crossed paths with you in the audio form. Thanks for being here, friend. Now, without further ado, please enjoy Becca Tilley.

[3:09] Becca Tilley: Hi, I'm good. You look so lovely.

[3:16] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, thank you so much. You look so lovely. I don't know about that, Becca. I'm going to keep it real. We just moved into our first house. So this is like—

[3:20] Becca Tilley: Congratulations.

[3:21] Robert Peterpaul: Thank you. On top of boxes, I'm like balancing a weird light, you know, just a trashman over here. I have my computer bouncing on a bowl right now. So I 1000 percent get it. I think that's going to be the title. Are you in L.A. or are you based?

[3:39] Becca Tilley: We just moved to Connecticut. So, yeah, we're near the beach, which is super nice.

[3:46] Robert Peterpaul: You're in L.A., right?

[3:46] Becca Tilley: I'm in L.A. But I dream of like having an East Coast summer, like, you know, like a summer house or like even for the fall. I just that's the one thing about the Southern California. Like it's so beautiful, but I just crave the leaves changing and some cooler weather.

[3:59] Robert Peterpaul: I know. Are you a spooky person? Because I'm such a spooky—

[4:06] Becca Tilley: Well, you know what's so funny? I'm not really a spooky person, but my birthday is the day before Halloween. So you would think that I was a spooky person, but yeah, I lean more on the Libra side.

[4:16] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, OK. I'll pretend to kind of get that. I'm the worst with science. I don't get it either. I just always say it because any time I say I'm a Scorpio, people are like. And I'm like, no, but I'm more like a leap. I'm something in my chart is Libra.

[4:34] Becca Tilley: Yeah, it means something. I have a Scorpio rising. Apparently, I don't know what it might be while you're spooky.

[4:39] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah, a little unhinged. But yeah, my wife has a similar thing because her birthday is right near Christmas. So she feels like she kind of she's a weird relationship with Christmas. I don't know. That might be—

[4:50] Becca Tilley: No, I think that's the thing. My brother's birthday is a day after Christmas. And then my girlfriend's sister is like a few days before Christmas. And it's kind of like a—I don't know if it's the gift thing or like to celebrate not feeling celebrated enough because everyone's celebrating this other big thing.

[5:03] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah, I think that's correct.

[5:08] Becca Tilley: Yeah. So okay, Becca, I just got to say, you know, from The Bachelor to your podcast, which shout out to my cousin Maggie, because she's the biggest scrubber—is it a scrubber? She's obsessed—to your recent, you know, wicked social media video that went viral. I mean, I just feel like you bring people so much joy. So I wanted to start out by thanking you for that. Because we need joy in these times. Becca, we need that.

[5:30] Becca Tilley: That's so nice. Yeah, we really we're in a shortage of joy right now. I think.

[5:36] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah, that's a good title, too. You know, now that I kind of like, accosted you with a compliment, I feel like you probably get a lot of them from people. And I was wondering, how are you at accepting compliments and sort of like receiving love from people?

[5:51] Becca Tilley: Um, I think that I, my initial reaction is to push it away, you know, but I think as I've gotten older, and also recognizing that when I give a compliment, if someone deflects or tries to push it away, I'm like, wait, just let me say something nice or let me love you. And so I think I can I like put myself in that position of how I feel when I give a compliment, someone doesn't want to receive it, it makes me feel more open to receive them because I know people are saying it out of, you know, I think I've always been like, they're just saying that because they have to as opposed to just, they're just saying it because they want to. So it's something that I definitely have had learned to work on, I think throughout like getting older, but you know, I still get a little bit uncomfortable if someone's too complimentary, like, just give me one compliment and move on.

[6:50] Robert Peterpaul: Okay, let me cross out like the 37 others I have listed here.

[6:54] Becca Tilley: Going, but like, funny, because like, I, my girlfriend is such a words of affirmation person. And so she showers me with verbal compliments. And I was telling we were actually talking about this last night, because I was saying in terms of how she makes me feel, I have never felt more beautiful or like loved in my life, because she is so vocal about it. And it's not like anything grand. It's just little moments throughout the day or in the morning where, you know, she's like, you're so beautiful. And I just I love you. And I love that you do this. And I'm like, Oh, wow. I've, I think she's helped me learn to accept those things, too.

[7:36] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, that's so beautiful. I was gonna ask you because your relationship seems, you know, it's so beautiful. And I love following it. Today, we're here to talk about kindness. So I'll probably get into what she's taught you about kindness. But you kind of just gave us an example right there, which I think is amazing off the bat here. And now I keep singing Let Me Love You in my head since you said that. Remember that song? It's like, let me love you.

[7:53] Becca Tilley: Oh, wait, I was going Justin Bieber. I went Justin Bieber. Let me love you. Oh, my gosh. Okay, there's probably a third listeners DM us what that is.

[8:03] Robert Peterpaul: So before we get into your amazing new kindness first partnership, I would just love to know to set context, Becca, what does kindness mean to you? You know, speaking of sort of those love languages, I guess it could be similar. And how do you think that definition has changed over the years?

[8:23] Becca Tilley: Wow. Um, I think what I've realized about kindness, I guess, as I've gotten older, I think I've always thought of kindness is just, you know, the action that you do for someone. But I think what I've realized is kindness is kind of how someone feels after the interaction, like how someone feels after they leave the interaction with me, like that, to me is kindness of how I left someone feeling whether it was a stranger who I took their shopping cart back to the place for them, or I, you know, something even a small just like how someone feels when you leave them, or how you—and I think that sometimes kindness is I think it's infectious, because I think if I'm in a bad mood, and someone's kind to me, I'm instantly like, Oh, I need to, I need to shift gears.

There's actually science behind it, you know, why it is contagious. I know it says it on like every home goods pillow. And we'd love that too. But it literally is contagious. And that's so brilliant what you said, I just saw a video of, you know, bow down to Miss Viola Davis of her talking about just that her saying, like, it's not about me and my ego and what I do. It's about how people feel because of what I do. And I think that's beautiful because it puts the emphasis on others versus, you know, just thinking about yourself.

[9:41] Becca Tilley: Yeah, I mean, the thing is, is, you know, when people say if you're in a bad mood, or if you're feeling down, like go do something kind for someone. And you're thinking, well, that feels like a selfish motive, because I'm doing something kind to make myself feel better. But I think what happens is it automatically shifts how you how you're perceived and how you perceive the world.

[10:03] Becca Tilley: And so I think that even though it feels like a selfish gesture in the beginning, I think that there's something to doing that because you watch someone else's mood shift, and then you get to experience that shift too, which is like a really good feeling, especially when you're feeling down. It is like, if you can just get out of your own head and like, look at the world in a bigger picture, you realize how small your little mood player up is. Yeah, that's why I love plane rides. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I always think it's going down and I like accept my death like halfway through the plane ride. But I do love the moment where you see the little cars, the little ants, the little buildings, and you're like, okay, I'm just a tiny speck, you know, it puts things into perspective. Even our biggest issue is not that big.

[10:48] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah, right. You know, I wonder, is there an act of kindness that you feel like kind of changed your trajectory, even in regards to just getting into the entertainment industry? I know that's a big question too. But oh, hey, oh, yes. I'm glad we're getting the pet cameos. I know I locked my cats out, but they'll probably bust in. Has to like sit up. If I'm on a call, she has to be up here like sitting next to the computer. It's like she's my assistant or something.

[11:17] Becca Tilley: Oh, yeah. Anytime I'm sitting and working, the cats are screaming. And I'm new to cats, and they're so weird and fun. But like, they just can't get enough.

[11:27] Robert Peterpaul: I've heard they're interesting.

[11:29] Becca Tilley: Yeah, if you we have really sweet ones. One's basically a dog like she'll play fetch. But that's so funny. They're so weird. Like if you just like weird, funny things. Yeah, you gotta embrace a cat.

[11:40] Becca Tilley: Yeah, I love my friends. I have cats. I love them. Sorry, I got off. Well, Phoebe got us off topic. But we're gonna get to Phoebe. So yeah, perfectly on topic. But I think an act of kindness that like changed the trajectory of really my life, like honestly, was when I went public with my relationship with Haley because I, we had been dating since 2018. And we didn't, we weren't public with our relationship until 2022. And I had a lot of apprehension and fear of how people would respond. And I knew that there would be I was like, it'll be 50/50. Some people have people will celebrate us and half the people will will not. And it was so much more kindness and celebrating us than I ever gave, like gave myself the option to accept that I was so overwhelmed.

And it fully changed. I mean, it changed my life because it made me go like you have to give people a chance. Like you can't just assume that everything is black and white. And you can't just assume that it's 50/50 on everything. And that just because someone like has different views on certain things doesn't mean that they're not going to celebrate you, you know, and I think that I had so many, like the kindest DMs and messages from people that I was that were so unexpected, and I will I will never ever forget it.

[13:12] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, that's so beautiful. I'm glad you had that. You deserve it. And it is it I know that must be so scary. I know friends that have gone through things on a smaller level where it's it's similar, sometimes any anytime you're vulnerable in life, you know, even just an act of kindness, like smiling at someone on the street that's a stranger that takes vulnerability and on a smaller level can be scary. So you did, I think, is an example to so many people. And, you know, I'm glad you were met with that kindness. It's like, you're never gonna please everybody. So you might as well just please yourself.

[13:46] Becca Tilley: Yeah, I think that's, yeah, I think that's awesome. But thank you for sharing that. I know we got to get to today's actual topic of conversation, which is kindness to our furry friends. So you got a pal named Phoebe that already crashed the conversation here is okay. Is Phoebe after friends? Is it like?

[14:02] Becca Tilley: Oh, it is. Okay. Yeah. So I was having like, when I first of all, I was looking to get a dog for my parents. And so when I went to, I found these little Pomeranians. And I was like, let's I was with my sister, she lived with me at the time. I was like, let's just go look at them. Like they're cute puppies. Let's go see them. Yeah. And I picked up Phoebe and she just like melted into my neck. And I looked at my sister and I was like, I think I'm gonna get a dog today. And she is just the love of my life. Like, I am so obsessed with her. And she kind of gives like, she's kind of like a teenager, you know, like she like, sometimes she wants me, but she also can play hard to get. She's obsessed with Haley, like hurts my feelings sometimes. I do everything for you.

[14:52] Robert Peterpaul: But what was your question? I like just went on.

[14:58] Becca Tilley: I love that. Keep going. I was just asking if it was named after friends. I know like you call her chicken. You have a lot of names.

[15:03] Becca Tilley: She's such a chicken, but I couldn't think of a name. And I was like, going through all these names. And I, it was like day three, and I still didn't have a name for her. And I was taking photos with my friend who is a photographer. And she was like, you love friends. What about Phoebe? And I was like, Oh my gosh, she's such a Phoebe. So that's where her name came from. She's not a smelly cat, but she's a not smelly dog. She's not smelly because well, honestly, she went through a phase because she couldn't. She has like a lot of sensitivities and allergies. So I had to be like, so I was scared to spray anything on her near her. And so I was so excited about working with Mrs. Myers and trying when I got to try their new pet product line, I was so excited because they have this dog deodorizing spritz, which is all of their grooming products for dogs and cats.

They're a vet tested and they are cruelty free. And so I sprayed it and I was just like waiting for her to start coughing. I was just like, here we go. And she never did. And it smells so good. So she's always smelling good. And then they also, they release products that are just like the, they're not only, I think a lot of products that I've used for Phoebe stuff, it like will mask any smells. But then after a while, I'm like, did I even clean this? And I think they're, they're cleaner. It's, it's like, smells like coconut, it's coconut leaf scented. It makes the whole room smell good. It tackles the stain and the smell at the source. So it doesn't just like mask it and then come back later. It's the best. I literally, all my friends with dogs and cats, I'm like, I have, you have some, you need to shop for this because it's incredible.

[17:01] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah. I've always been a fan of Mrs. Myers and the bottles are just beautiful. Like it's, it's like such a great brand because it feels clean. It looks clean. It literally does clean. And I'm so excited that they have this pet care line now. Are there any tips I guess you've learned from them or just in general that you have for people listening that do have, you know, a furry friend?

[17:14] Becca Tilley: Well, the main tip that I've like really learned, I was just having a lot of conversations with the, is this so loud? They're literally, what is that? I think it's, oh, it's like they're doing work. I don't know. Becca, this is the story of my life. Every time I record something, there's a lawnmower, like just stuff falls, my cats scream. So we're rolling with it. My listeners, I think are used to it.

[17:37] Becca Tilley: Okay. Yeah. I think like through this partnership and having these conversations, I've realized that I was thinking about how messy my, I'm, I have a lot of stuff. So like when I get stuff, I just like have piles and it's always a mess. And I was like thinking about how Phoebe never, she never says anything about my mess. And I was thinking about how anytime she has a mess or like her paws, I have a white couch. So like if her paws get, you know, the couch dirty or whatever, she sleeps in bed with us. I'm always like, I would never, it's changed my perspective. Not that I ever got mad at her. Like she can do no wrong, but it changed my perspective of like, I have no, I can never be mad at her for anything because she's just, she's the exact example of unconditional love. She never makes me feel judged. She never makes me feel bad for my messes. And I'm like, she will get the same treatment forever. Always.

[18:41] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, that's beautiful. You know, because it's true. It's like, what do they want? They just want to sit on your lap and be with you all the time. And yes, if you're doing something, you're like, stop, you know, get away. But then you always come back to, oh wait, they're not doing anything wrong. They're just, they're, they're saying, let me love you. They're singing Justin Bieber song, you know, over and over again, always comes back to the beeps.

[18:57] Becca Tilley: Always. I wonder too. I always think about this, especially having pets and knowing people that do and pet always feels like a weird word. It's like your, your family member. Do you feel like people that do have animals in their life in any sense are like kinder people? Cause I kind of do feel like it makes you a kinder person.

[19:14] Becca Tilley: I think honestly, when you're receiving the unconditional love of a pet, I think it just makes you a better person because I, even honestly, before I had Phoebe, I liked animals and stuff, but I wasn't super like, I wouldn't bend down and pet. I would just be like, oh, that's a cute dog. But I was like, eh, you know, as soon as I got Phoebe, it's like every animal I come in contact with, I'm, I need to pet, I need to pet it. Or even if it's a bug that's in the house, I, I get upset with Haley if she ever kills it because I'm like, it's just a small thing that came into the wrong place. And so I try to like, save it. And she's like, this is crazy, but it changed my, my, the way my perspective on, on any living creature to the point where it's gotten a little weird.

[20:07] Becca Tilley: I do think you have a different sense of empathy when you have pets.

[20:10] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah, I think so too. I love that. Do you have a favorite, I guess, product with Mrs. Myers that you've been using on Phoebe? Is there a specific one? You mentioned the spritz, which honestly, I want to put that on my body because of the coconut smell. I'll probably spray it in my face. I don't do that everybody, but I probably will.

[20:28] Becca Tilley: So, the dog deodorizing spritz, I just use that as a refresher between her baths because I take her to the groomer and stuff, but I love for her to smell good. And so, I just spritz that on her when I do her brushing, which she doesn't like the brushing.

[20:43] Robert Peterpaul: Now, they do my cats.

[20:46] Becca Tilley: Yeah, she's kind of cat-like in that way. And so, the scent is white peach, but it smells so clean and fresh. And then, I love the cleaner, which I said I spray on the couch stains and whatnot. I sprayed it the other day when my friends were here. There was a stain, so I sprayed it. My friend didn't see me and she goes, did you just spray something that smells like coconut? And I was like, oh yeah, it's the cleaner. And she's like, that smells amazing. So, those have been my two, I've used consistently since I got the products.

[21:20] Robert Peterpaul: Yeah. Okay. This is so random, but if you were a scent, what would you be?

[21:26] Becca Tilley: I'm not good at knowing notes of anything, but I have a specific, I have a perfume. And so, my favorite compliment is that I smell good. That's the one compliment that I do not reject. I'm like, thank you. Thank you. But I love a clean, fresh, I don't like a powdery smell, but almost like I love a beachy smell. You know that smell when you go to the beach and it's like coconut and pineapple and sunscreen and it's just like all these things. It just smells like summer. I like that, but with something that I don't know the name of added to it. No. Yeah. I actually love the smell of sunscreen too. Now, I'm picturing, this actually sounds so weird, but the girl with the dog biting her bikini bottom. What brand is that even? I don't know. It's like the original sunscreen.

[22:25] Becca Tilley: Yeah. Where's that biopic? Ryan Murphy. I mean, I don't know what that means.

[22:31] Robert Peterpaul: Okay. Wait. So, we're on the Broadway Podcast Network. So, we did a lot with Wicked, and I got to ask because of your amazing video. I know you're a huge Wicked fan.

[22:40] Becca Tilley: So huge. What were your thoughts on the first movie? And then we'll break down what we're excited for in part two.

[22:47] Becca Tilley: I was so, okay. So, I saw the Broadway show. I lived in San Diego and it was like I saw the traveling show. And I had no idea what, I didn't know what it was about or anything. So, I just went to it and I was obsessed. I was like, I listened to the soundtrack over and over again. And then I took my mom to New York. She had never been to New York. So, like two years ago, I took her to New York and we went and saw the show. And I was like, oh my gosh, it never gets old. And when the movie came out, I was a little nervous because sometimes the movie adaptations just don't hit like the Broadway. I sat there and was just, I don't think I moved during Defying Gravity. I feel like I, and I was dressed as Elphaba in the movie theater.

I had green paint and everything. I was very uncomfortable physically. But I just remember, I was sitting in my chair, like sitting up and I felt like I had my popcorn right here and I never moved for like the whole song. The green paint's melting. You're just crying. I saw it three times in theater. I bought it as soon as it came out. We sometimes just put it on to watch Defying Gravity.

[24:01] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, I don't blame you. It's so iconic.

[24:07] Becca Tilley: I did a stupid TikTok bit where I was like, was her cape in Defying Gravity. Like the, like it was, okay, it was really dumb, but I think it's such an iconic scene. It's so fun. Part two's coming. And we had, it was interesting because we had John Chu on here who directed the film. And I was just like geeking out the whole time. And he talked about how he might like take into account what the fans say. And then, cause he hadn't edited part two yet. And then go into part two, like with that in mind, because he shot so much extra footage. What are you, I guess, hoping to see? Is there a number that you're most looking forward to?

[24:40] Becca Tilley: I mean, the one thing that I can't stop thinking about is For Good because I think it's just going to be so emotional. And I think, you know, it's Defying Gravity is such an emotional song on so many different scales of like personal, the friendship of it all, the everything about it. And I think that For Good is kind of like, it's the finale of the whole movie. So I think that's on top of it being like, oh no, it's over. It's, I'm like, for them to sing that song, I just cannot even, I can't wait.

[25:16] Robert Peterpaul: I know. Yeah. Just, well, Mrs. Myers has changed us for good too, to bring it back to that. I know you've done some things around this, but do you have any interest in acting and like going into the theater? Has that crossed your mind?

[25:28] Becca Tilley: It's so funny. I was talking about this the other night with, I was at Haley's family's house and we were talking, I was in drama in seventh and eighth grade and they were like, oh, and of course, Haley's family, they're all like, they would be the stars of the show, right? So they were like the leads. And I was like, yeah, I was just a background actor, but I thought that I was as equal, like I thought that I was as important as the leads, you know?

[25:49] Robert Peterpaul: You were, yeah.

[25:56] Becca Tilley: Yeah. Like you can't do it alone. We need the tree or we're not in the forest, you know, if you're not dressed as the tree. But I feel like any acting craving I have, I kind of get to channel into, you know, what I do for, I can do really whatever I want with social media, which is really fun. Yeah. I don't know that I have the, um, I would definitely have to take some extensive classes to get to a place where I felt confident in that. I can't sing at all. So the Broadway thing is off the hook. I appreciate that. I love seeing what Trish has done with her platform. You know, she's such a huge fan of Broadway and then she'd used all her money to literally make these videos and then get to Broadway and everyone's obsessed with her now. And I think that's so special.

[26:41] Robert Peterpaul: It's amazing. So you could do whatever you want to do. I don't need to tell you that, but I do know that you have to go. And so it would just be awesome if we could end this time together by you sharing a tangible kindness tip. So something you would like everybody out there listening to do on their own corner, just to try and make the world a little bit brighter.

[27:02] Becca Tilley: Oh, there's, I mean, man, I think that my, something that I try to do that I think is such a low lift, easy thing. Cause everyone is typically around people throughout the day at some point is if you, even if it's like checking out with the cashier, like giving someone a compliment, because I was thinking about how sometimes you can go the whole day and, and you realize you didn't really have any good interactions with someone. And maybe you can be like the one good interaction someone has. And even if it's not giving them a compliment, it's like looking them in the eye and having direct eye contact and smiling because I, I know it sounds so silly and simple, but I was looking around the other day and I was at a store and we were all waiting in line and every single one of us was looking down at our phone.

It was like, man, we've kind of lost that just genuine connection, like chit-chatting and the, I mean, coming, I'm, I'm from the South. And so like you would talk to someone at a checkout line about nothing or anything. And I kind of just miss in general, that connection of greeting people and like looking people in the eye and smiling and having this conversation, even if it's 30 seconds. And I think that's so low lift for people. And it's just like a reminder that you could be the only like positive interaction someone has for that whole day, maybe the week, you know, you don't know like what they're going home to or what, what life is like outside of that moment, but you could be like something that they remember in a positive light. And it's, it's easy, you know.

[28:34] Robert Peterpaul: That's such a great reminder. You know, we talk a lot about compliments on here, but I don't think anyone's ever framed it that way of, that you could be the only positive interaction someone has. And I think that's a great way to think about it. You know, you could be someone's last interaction. You don't even know it, not to be morbid, but you know, sorry.

[28:46] Becca Tilley: Okay. Bye. I look like a ghost. I'm looking at myself. I'm so glad this isn't falling out the boxes, but I'm like, anyway, it's like nice. And your background's all blurred. It's good. Good. You got a good setup. Very professional.

[29:06] Becca Tilley: It'll be better. I promise next time, next time. We just moved in literally like yesterday. So when this came to me, I was like, I'm going to do it. And this will be my first one in the house, but I won't have my, my studio. But anyway, this was so lovely. And I just think you're amazing. Ooh, I am going to go before this falls down, but I believe everybody should go get this pet care line. Where can they find it? Anything else you want to shout out about Mrs. Myers before we go?

[29:27] Becca Tilley: Yeah, you can go to Mrs. Myers.com and all the information is on there. And, um, I would just like to say, if you have a pet, like don't wait because these products are amazing and they smell so good and they make life better.

[29:45] Robert Peterpaul: Oh, I love that. Thank you so much for making life better for people, Becca. It was a pleasure. It was so great talking to you and meeting you and you are so lovely.

[29:54] Becca Tilley: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Anyway, we should go. Until next time, remember everything is going to be A-OK.