This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:07] Stephen Hanna: Hi, I'm Steven.

[0:08] Bret Shuford: And I'm Brett.

[0:09] Stephen Hanna: And we are the Broadway Husbands.

[0:12] Bret Shuford: We are your all-American married couple making their living in the arts and pursuing a growing family.

[0:17] Stephen Hanna: On the Broadway Husbands Podcast, we offer advice from our ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances.

[0:23] Bret Shuford: We are living proof that you can love who you love and love what you do.

[0:27] Stephen Hanna: Make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss our weekly episodes.

[0:32] Bret Shuford: And if you really love us, make sure you leave a review on whatever podcast network you listen to us on.

[0:38] Stephen Hanna: Take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands.

[0:41] Bret Shuford: Visit us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands online at Broadway Podcast Network.com slash Broadway Husbands or BPN.fm slash husbands for short.

[0:52] Stephen Hanna: We are proud to be members of the Broadway Podcast Network.

[0:56] Bret Shuford: Yes, we are.

[0:57] Stephen Hanna: So we haven't we've the last few episodes we've been interviewing people, and now it's just us today on episode 11.

[1:05] Bret Shuford: And we thought we would take a little time today to talk about what we recently experienced, 2018, 2019, that we are appropriately now calling our sabbatical from performing in New York.

[1:21] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[1:21] Bret Shuford: I think that's a pro that's appropriate title for it now, right?

[1:24] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I mean I don't know that it was like a complete sabbatical.

[1:28] Bret Shuford: That's true.

[1:29] Stephen Hanna: We had maybe I think so for those of you who don't know. Let's tell the story.

[1:34] Bret Shuford: Okay, so um in August of 2018, we moved from New York City, the big apple, to Charleston, South Carolina.

[1:46] Stephen Hanna: And um, you know, um there are a few things that led to that decision.

[1:53] Bret Shuford: Um I know for myself, I was feeling burnt out and a little bit tired.

[2:02] Stephen Hanna: And I wanted to try something new.

[2:06] Bret Shuford: Let me just paint the picture real quick.

[2:07] Stephen Hanna: Paint it, paint it.

[2:08] Bret Shuford: Stephen had gone from I think in like three years, he had done four Broadway shows or something like that, right?

[2:16] Stephen Hanna: That's how many years was it?

[2:17] Bret Shuford: Yeah, it was like four years. He went from straight eight times a week.

[2:21] Stephen Hanna: On the Town, straight into An American in Paris.

[2:24] Bret Shuford: Am I missing something?

[2:25] Stephen Hanna: And then you went right into Hello, Dolly!

[2:27] Bret Shuford: Hello, Dolly!

[2:28] Stephen Hanna: And so his body was just like beat up.

[2:32] Bret Shuford: And I had gone from Amazing Grace to Paramour straight through, and Paramour was a whole that's an episode in itself, maybe a whole podcast.

[2:41] Stephen Hanna: Um, and so we both were pretty burnt out, and an opportunity came for us to move to Charleston.

[2:50] Bret Shuford: And and also just to backtrack even further, I think I've always fantasized about living somewhere else.

[2:58] Stephen Hanna: I came to New York when I was really young. I moved here when I was 12, turning 13, and I think I always it that kind of made me always think that I should live somewhere else, and I didn't experience growing up in the suburbs like I was supposed to, or out like just a little bit further from the city.

[3:16] Bret Shuford: I think so, like I always hoped and dreamed that one day I would leave New York.

[3:23] Stephen Hanna: And um, so that was always something in the back of my head, and I always took trips specifically to like Austin, Texas, and I had a dream one night, and I woke up and I was like, I think we should move to Austin, Texas.

[3:35] Bret Shuford: So we planned a challenge.

[3:36] Stephen Hanna: Planned a vacation and we checked it out.

[3:38] Bret Shuford: And yeah, I I was searching, I was definitely searching.

[3:42] Stephen Hanna: Um so the opportunity came up for and Charleston. We'd been to Charleston a couple times.

[3:48] Bret Shuford: A couple of times.

[3:49] Stephen Hanna: A beautiful town.

[3:51] Bret Shuford: I wouldn't say city.

[3:52] Stephen Hanna: It's a beautiful town.

[3:53] Bret Shuford: It's a beautiful town.

[3:54] Stephen Hanna: And uh it's a quiet village.

[3:58] Bret Shuford: It is.

[3:58] Stephen Hanna: Would you say every day is like the one before?

[4:01] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[4:02] Stephen Hanna: No, I mean, maybe.

[4:03] Bret Shuford: I don't know.

[4:04] Stephen Hanna: It's beautiful. The weather is like the same every day except when the hurricanes come through.

[4:08] Bret Shuford: But um, so we were like, this is beautiful. And and we knew somebody there who uh proposed an opportunity, and we were like, well, maybe we should check it out.

[4:17] Stephen Hanna: And yeah, we were at that moment where like that's the way we felt. We were ready to go, and we were like, let's try. We have nothing to lose.

[4:26] Bret Shuford: Um, you know, and our friend, you know, these people were like, we'll help you, like we'll we'll make it all work out for you. Don't worry about it.

[4:33] Stephen Hanna: And we were like, great. So we moved all of our stuff.

[4:36] Bret Shuford: So yeah, we didn't sublet our apartment, we moved all of our stuff. We had movers come and they took it in a you know, a big truck down to Charleston, and we drove to Pittsburgh and then drove from Pittsburgh to Charleston.

[4:50] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, and um gosh, it's scary to like say too much.

[4:54] Bret Shuford: Yeah, because so many people know the people involved.

[4:57] Stephen Hanna: So we'll we don't want to say too much, but there was some interesting turn of events when we arrived.

[5:03] Bret Shuford: I said yes to um some teaching jobs, which I was very happy to do.

[5:07] Stephen Hanna: And I was teaching at the college, I was teaching musical theater at the College of Charleston, and shout out to anybody there who's listening. I loved the students, and um the campus was gorgeous, and the most beautiful campus.

[5:19] Bret Shuford: And I was teaching musical theater, I taught jazz, dance, and I taught and I directed the musical Urinetown in the spring.

[5:28] Stephen Hanna: And at the College of Charleston, I taught jazz, ballet, and I choreographed for their fall dance concert, which was awesome.

[5:35] Bret Shuford: I really loved working there. And I think we both thought like we'll take these adjunct positions and then eventually maybe they'll be like a higher paying position.

[5:43] Stephen Hanna: Because let's just be honest, adjunct professors, if no one knows.

[5:48] Bret Shuford: I think we made somewhere around $2,000 per semester per class.

[5:53] Stephen Hanna: I mean, there's just no way.

[5:56] Bret Shuford: Yeah, it was rough.

[5:56] Stephen Hanna: It was a little money doing that unless you're teaching like 10 classes.

[6:01] Bret Shuford: And the amount of work is just unbelievable with the paperwork and the interesting.

[6:06] Stephen Hanna: So if you are a college professor, God bless you.

[6:09] Bret Shuford: Um, and um, I have so much respect for for what they do.

[6:14] Stephen Hanna: Um, and then I was teaching at this after-school program called the Musical Theater Center, which was uh, you know, for young, younger kids, and uh, but the frustrating thing for me was no one at the musical theater center had ever really had a career in musical theater.

[6:28] Bret Shuford: So it became a real challenge um to for me uh to go from working on Broadway to then like being the the odd man out who had all this experience and it didn't really matter because like nobody nobody cared.

[6:46] Stephen Hanna: Um but the students were great. I liked teaching, um, but it was frustrating being the only person with that kind of experience.

[6:55] Bret Shuford: So I taught at uh ballet studio where um the whole reason why we went was to be a part of this ballet studio, and the ballet studio there was amazing, the students were amazing, so many talented kids.

[7:08] Stephen Hanna: And um, but it it just quickly became really clear that we were never gonna actually make the money that we needed to make in order to move into like to buy a house before.

[7:23] Bret Shuford: Which is it's something that I think maybe you know, if we had gotten some stuff in like we didn't get things in writing before we went because we were like, oh, it's friends, and we were trusting people.

[7:33] Stephen Hanna: So our biggest number one piece of advice if you're planning on taking a sabbatical is make sure everything's in writing before you go because we really didn't uh take care of ourselves in that way.

[7:46] Bret Shuford: We trusted people in a way, and I think that you know, we both are very sensitive people, so we felt very personalized personally hurt by it.

[7:55] Stephen Hanna: But that's we realized that like that was just our part in it was to not get yeah, take care of ourselves.

[8:00] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I mean, I think my the my biggest part in it was just leading with my heart and my friendship and not my business side at all, which is sort of unlike me.

[8:09] Stephen Hanna: I mean, it's pretty unlike me, but um, for whatever reason, I just I you know, you know, and I think it comes back to the state of mind that I I can just speak for myself that I definitely know that I was in, that I wanted to try something new, that I um was a little bit burnt out and just ready to go.

[8:28] Bret Shuford: You know, I was ready to take a break or just try something new, and you know, so I think that that's all I wanted.

[8:35] Stephen Hanna: You know, I wasn't thinking about the things maybe I maybe I should have been thinking about, you know.

[8:41] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[8:42] Stephen Hanna: So we ended up um kind of being stuck in this commitment to try to fulfill for the year and um the school year, and so we were living in this studio apartment that you know, we had a studio apartment that it's really funny because the apartment that we have in that we currently live in we've had for 10 years and we've lived in it and out of it for a couple times, but I always thought it was really small, and um, but this we were living in a garage apartment.

[9:15] Bret Shuford: It was a garage apartment with sharing a car, sharing a car.

[9:19] Stephen Hanna: We would we definitely we wouldn't fight with each other, but uh we experienced watching each other kind of like break down, break down and throw fits at the highest number I think ever.

[9:40] Bret Shuford: Like it was it was pretty bad.

[9:42] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, it was it was interesting because we would never really fight with each other.

[9:46] Bret Shuford: We were we would go through things and like yell or freak out, and it was always like, Oh, this apartment is so small.

[9:54] Stephen Hanna: Like we'd hit our knee on the bed, or and then like, oh, what am I doing? You know, just like and I know that I saw Brett, you know, kind of melt down a lot, and I I know that he saw me melt down a lot too.

[10:06] Bret Shuford: And but it was interesting because through all of that, I you know, we would always laugh at the end, and I would be like, Well, I was like, it's interesting because like this is the first time in our relationship where like one of us is kind of going through something, and like we both understand and really know for the first time that it's not about the other person.

[10:27] Stephen Hanna: I think like typically in our relationship, a lot of times, like if Brett's having a hard time, like I take it upon myself and think that it's about me and think that I need to do something, or the, you know, and like I'm always like, Well, what is it? What do you need? You know, like it's like that kind of thing, and I think that I did something wrong, or I think that you know, I I can fix it somehow.

[10:45] Bret Shuford: But but there I can honestly say the first time in a relationship, like we wouldn't be fighting, but we would be struggling emotionally, and it was the first time we're like we would just let each other like kind of like go through whatever crazy we were going through and let them come out the other side, and then we'd be like, I love you.

[11:06] Bret Shuford: Like it's gonna be like if we can get through this, if we can get through this, where our marriage is very strong, yeah.

[11:13] Bret Shuford: And um, so it there were definitely some really low, like low lows, and again, like not really setting ourselves up for success financially and everything else because we didn't get anything in writing, and yeah, we really took a huge risk.

[11:28] Bret Shuford: We were like overdrawn, like on a weekly basis, and we were having to use credit cards.

[11:34] Bret Shuford: I mean, it was like it was so intense, so you know, it was it was stressful, and then sharing the car and driving for two hours to get to teach six-year-olds, and you know, blah blah blah.

[11:45] Bret Shuford: There were a lot of stressful things um that you know, obviously led to us wanting to come back, but you know, there were a lot of great things about the things that were great about there are a lot of great things about being there, you know.

[11:58] Bret Shuford: So I'm gonna say the first thing that I loved about when we first got there.

[12:02] Stephen Hanna: Tell me.

[12:03] Bret Shuford: So there's been a hurricane that has gone through Charleston every year.

[12:08] Bret Shuford: This made the entire town evacuate for like seven years or something crazy like that.

[12:13] Bret Shuford: Terrible.

[12:14] Bret Shuford: So let's talk about climate change.

[12:15] Bret Shuford: Um, yeah, anyway, side note.

[12:17] Bret Shuford: Um, but that every so we had to evacuate.

[12:21] Bret Shuford: I think about three weeks into live to moving there, we had to evacuate Charleston.

[12:26] Bret Shuford: And my cousin lives in Columbia, lives in Columbia, South Carolina, with her then there were then girlfriend and then they weren't married, but they just built this beautiful house.

[12:37] Bret Shuford: Beautiful house, so yeah.

[12:39] Bret Shuford: Wait before, so we get evacuated and we're driving.

[12:42] Bret Shuford: Is it 26?

[12:43] Bret Shuford: Is that what the name of the highway is?

[12:44] Stephen Hanna: I don't remember.

[12:45] Bret Shuford: I want to say it's 26.

[12:46] Bret Shuford: Anyways, so you're driving up, and like you can only go out, like once you go out of Charleston, you can't turn back around and go back in.

[12:54] Bret Shuford: They only like past the highways going out.

[12:56] Bret Shuford: There's just one highway, and then so we get there, and the whole time I'm like, is this really gonna be okay that we're going there?

[13:03] Bret Shuford: Like, who knows how long we're gonna be there?

[13:05] Bret Shuford: And then we pull up to this house, and I was like, Oh, this is gonna be great.

[13:09] Bret Shuford: I mean, it was like this she's a lawyer, she's a lawyer, she's a very it was like this beautiful house, and but there's only like a few like I have a gay cousin on my on my dad's oh, and they're I have a gay cousin Paul, and then her, and I've never actually and then Julia is on my mom's side, but those are the only people I know in my family that are gay, so I have never spent time with her, so we got to spend like six days.

[13:32] Bret Shuford: We were there for an entire week because we couldn't go back into Charleston.

[13:37] Bret Shuford: I think we let went there on, I want to say on like a Tuesday or a Monday night, and we left on a Sunday.

[13:43] Bret Shuford: Yeah, like it was a long time that we were there.

[13:45] Bret Shuford: We didn't have to teach that week.

[13:46] Bret Shuford: We didn't have to teach, we didn't have to do anything.

[13:49] Bret Shuford: It got a little boring, yeah.

[13:50] Bret Shuford: We were literally just hanging out in Columbia, and it was very okay.

[13:53] Bret Shuford: So that was my first thing that I really liked.

[13:55] Bret Shuford: That was your first when we got there.

[13:56] Stephen Hanna: What was yours?

[13:57] Stephen Hanna: Oh, what was mine?

[14:00] Stephen Hanna: Okay, so there is this place that we went to very early on, and I remember I had seen it, and I remember thinking, I can't go in there and eat that.

[14:12] Stephen Hanna: If I eat it, I know I'm gonna love it and I'm gonna eat it all the time.

[14:18] Stephen Hanna: And so one of the first weekends we were there, we went up to Somerville to see a performance of a show.

[14:25] Stephen Hanna: And um and while we were waiting, we just randomly, I just like randomly searched on a map like something to eat, and it was this place that I had seen that I I was that I was just mentioning.

[14:38] Stephen Hanna: It was called Boxcar Betty's.

[14:41] Bret Shuford: Oh, so good.

[14:42] Stephen Hanna: And I was like, oh, it's this place, Boxcar Betty's, they have it up here.

[14:45] Stephen Hanna: Like, I really want to go.

[14:46] Stephen Hanna: I think it's a chain.

[14:48] Stephen Hanna: Like, oh god, we gotta go.

[14:50] Stephen Hanna: And so we go.

[14:51] Stephen Hanna: And the first time I had it.

[14:55] Stephen Hanna: Okay, I I'm also like really into blue ribbon fried chicken.

[14:59] Stephen Hanna: And this makes blue ribbon fried chicken like nothing.

[15:04] Stephen Hanna: Like, it's like terrible.

[15:06] Stephen Hanna: Like Costco.

[15:07] Stephen Hanna: Like Costco nothing.

[15:08] Stephen Hanna: I mean, it's like the best fried chicken.

[15:11] Stephen Hanna: And I feel like the first time I had it, they had we got sweet potato fries because we were trying to be healthier.

[15:19] Stephen Hanna: And the sweet potato fries definitely had sugar on them.

[15:23] Stephen Hanna: Right?

[15:24] Stephen Hanna: I mean, like it was like, I was like, well, this is.

[15:26] Stephen Hanna: This was like a southern it it's like why you cannot go to Chick-fil-A if there's a box carpet.

[15:26] Stephen Hanna: If there's a box car vetties.

[15:34] Stephen Hanna: So, and then there was one in West Ashley that then I started to kind of not frequent, but definitely like if I was feeling upset or like low, would be like, we gotta go to Boxcar Betty's.

[15:46] Bret Shuford: Yeah, that was a good one.

[15:48] Stephen Hanna: So that was probably like my first thing.

[15:51] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, and then the other thing that was really great was we became so if you go to our website, SabrawiHusbands.com, we have a whole chapter on Charleston where you can we have recommendations.

[16:02] Stephen Hanna: So if you're thinking about going to Charleston when check out Charleston, we have all these like rep ref referrals for like food and places like that.

[16:09] Stephen Hanna: But we became really good friends with this girl, Jamie Huffman, who's the Charleston Charles and she lived in our neighborhood and she was super fun.

[16:17] Stephen Hanna: She was on Survivor, met her husband on Survivor, and there was this fun little community of like quote unquote influencers, and we became kind of a part of that community because of our Instagram account, and so we got to know her and hang out with her, and um that was really fun.

[16:35] Bret Shuford: And uh the food we would just eat so well in Charleston, because we had no time to like we were shuffling always between places, yeah.

[16:47] Bret Shuford: Um the weather, the weather was amazing.

[16:51] Bret Shuford: January it's interesting.

[16:53] Bret Shuford: I think November was actually kind of cold, and I remember being upset about it because I was like, wait, they said it wasn't gonna be that cold.

[16:59] Bret Shuford: And I remember I was like, I think I had to get my winter jacket out.

[17:03] Bret Shuford: And then once January came, it was so mild and always in the 50s or higher and um sunny.

[17:10] Bret Shuford: We would go to the beach and kind of walk around.

[17:13] Bret Shuford: Um, so that was nice.

[17:15] Bret Shuford: I love that.

[17:15] Bret Shuford: We lived down the street from Folly Beach, which was amazing.

[17:20] Bret Shuford: We could always just go down there in January, January, and just like walk around and yeah, we went to an amazing church.

[17:29] Stephen Hanna: Oh, yeah, we found this amazing church called the um circular congregation church, and it's downtown and it was open and affirming, so there were lots of lesbian gay couples there, and um, so that was such a wonderful thing to sort of find a community there, spiritual community awesome.

[17:48] Bret Shuford: Yeah, we had never gone to a church regularly, and this like from the moment we went, I was like, oh, like I would look forward to it every week, and it was just such a great place, and also there's a lot of fun things to do in Charleston, especially um if you're ever there, go on a ghost tour.

[18:08] Bret Shuford: Because the first time we actually saw the circular church was in a ghost tour that we did, like one of the times we were visiting there, and um there was uh like um a gay rainbow flag, a rainbow flag, okay, sorry, a rainbow flag on somewhere up by the church, and so that's how we knew to go there.

[18:30] Bret Shuford: But there is so many cool um ghost tours there, and um, if you ever have a chance to do the haunted um jail tour, you did it like three times.

[18:44] Stephen Hanna: I think I did it.

[18:44] Stephen Hanna: I know I did it twice.

[18:46] Stephen Hanna: I possibly did it three times, but I know that for sure I did it twice, like really close together, and it was it was so cool.

[18:53] Stephen Hanna: And so there's a tour guide there, and I wish I knew his name right now.

[18:56] Stephen Hanna: Um, but he was a retired homicide detective, and now he just um is you know, because that of his line of work, he's familiar with like all of like the murders and crimes in the area, like all throughout history, so then he knows like all of like what kind of ghosts like roam different areas, and like any sort of um supernatural television show, like reality show on it yeah he like is their like supervisor and like helps them so like he's been on like ghost hunters and I had him twice as my tour guide and it I wish I could oh what is this anyway it was so it's so worth it and kind of really scary and I highly recommend it.

[19:45] Stephen Hanna: Yes.

[19:45] Stephen Hanna: Um so Charleston, so the other thing that I think that was really great about going away is that it gave us a lot of perspective, and we were able to sort of of course we talked about how the perspective we got of our relationship because it really I think seeing ourselves kind of in these really weakened and kind of heartbroken states, I would say, um, and frustrated, you know, because we really, you know, were we're struggling.

[20:18] Stephen Hanna: I mean, it was not easy, and yet on Instagram, you would never have known because we built this Instagram account at the same time that really started to blow up.

[20:27] Stephen Hanna: But one of the things that we had been planning was that once the business deal came through, we were gonna start a family, and um, and then when everything sort of started falling apart, we realized we had to put that on pause, and um that was a hard thing to do because we had really started moving pretty quickly through that process, but now we've kind of had to take a step back, which is which is not easy, um, because it was a huge goal for us, but um what we did realize is how how what what New York gives us as artists and what New York, the opportunities that New York offers us kind of outweigh the lifestyle.

[21:08] Bret Shuford: Don't you think?

[21:09] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I mean, I think that part of the perspective that we gained was people would always say things like, oh, it's just a better quality of life.

[21:18] Stephen Hanna: It's just a better quality of life.

[21:21] Bret Shuford: And I and Brett used to say this to me all the time.

[21:24] Stephen Hanna: And I I think it depends on how you define quality of life.

[21:30] Bret Shuford: Like, I think for a long time I thought that I would be happy if I was out on the beach or lived down the street from the beach and was in a car and not in the subway and like had all this open space all the time.

[21:45] Bret Shuford: And don't get me wrong, those things are amazing and awesome. Um but I ultimately like learned that I I need to have and I want people at my not, you know, I want access to people, I want access to people who I can learn from constantly. Um just like all of the things that the city provides and all the opportunities that are here and all of the groups and networks of people and companies that you that I'm involved in and maybe didn't even really um appreciate it, appreciate it, you know, and like so it just for me it was kind of like oh wait, what if I what have I done? Oh god. But I think what's what's super powerful about it is that we did step away and we came back and and the community is still here, and you know, I booked a Broadway show. You know, like things happened when we came back. So I think if anything, I I would encourage people to step away. Take a take a sabbatical if you're burnt out, go away. I mean, protect yourself first.

[23:00] Stephen Hanna: Yeah. But we what we gained from the experience, what we learned about ourselves, what we learned about what we want is was so worth it. And what we learned about what New York gives us, the opportunity that New York City gives us, especially at this point in our lives, is um is gonna actually help us move further along towards the path to fatherhood, towards the path to what we want personally, because we can actually make a living here.

[23:29] Bret Shuford: Yeah, we can actually make a living and get insurance weeks and get pension and benefits, which you there were no equity theaters in Charleston. Like, how are we gonna ever? That's how we've made our living. Um, unless we completely quit doing what we love. And like we said, then on this podcast, we encourage you to love who you love and love what you do. And I don't know that I'm sac ready to sacrifice doing what I love.

[23:53] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I mean, I think ultimately that was that was probably what I learned most because I um I I didn't stop really performing or auditioning like the whole time I was there, and I think that I thought I would get there and be like, oh, I'm done. You know, I mean, I didn't actually like decide to be done, but when we left, and I wasn't that wasn't my intention. Um, but I think that there was a part of me that was hoping that somehow like I would fade out of myself somehow, but that didn't happen. So um, you know, so I was like flying up and auditioning and flying back, you know, like doing things like that.

[24:36] Bret Shuford: And so yeah, and we did book some like local commercial Google. I did a Hallmark movie, but it was sort of like, well, if we're booking these here, why wouldn't we book them in New York? So we're really happy we came back and we're really happy we didn't sell our apartment.

[24:52] Stephen Hanna: Yes, thank God. It we had listed it and it never sold. So we were able to move back in to our East Village place, and um, we're still kind of furnishing it, but it's been really furnished. There's a couple things that we still need to go. Um, so if anybody at Wayfair is listening, um we love Wayfair. We need sponsorship.

[25:12] Bret Shuford: Um, and then um, and I'm really lucky that I got this job, so we're able to sort of kind of keep moving forward and getting out of the hole. And the actors fund was incredibly helpful to us last year. If you don't know the actors fund, and the actors federal credit union helped us uh refinance our mortgage, and that was super helpful. Um, and so those are both two organizations that we owe a huge, huge thanks to.

[25:40] Stephen Hanna: And um, and so that is our story. That is our story. Charleston, radical story. We love Charleston. I would totally have stayed if you know if we were gonna make money. We could have figured it out somehow, and but um, but ultimately I'm a New Yorker.

[25:58] Bret Shuford: Yeah, so here we are. Here we are. So now we are going to move on to our segment we call Spotlight on Love.

[26:07] Stephen Hanna: So somebody wrote to us Dav Neil on Instagram, and it's a super simple question. Um, but is there a good time to first say I love you to your partner?

[26:18] Bret Shuford: Hmm, I think it's pretty a pretty quick answer. Well, I mean, is there a good time? I mean, uh I mean, I think when I was in this kind of situation, I would always try and like wait and wait and wait and wait.

[26:37] Stephen Hanna: And in Bret and I's relationship, I I think I knew pretty quickly that I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him, and there was nobody else. And um, but I definitely held back by by you know, to say it. I didn't like want to say it right away because I didn't, I feel like when you say I love you, it kind of like commits you a little bit.

[27:10] Bret Shuford: Um, and that's not why I didn't want to say it to Brett. I think I didn't want to say it to him to you because I don't want I didn't want him to think that I was like jumping the gun.

[27:23] Stephen Hanna: Um so in this case, I let Bret say it first, and he said, I love you, and I said, I know he did he did, and he never lets me forget it.

[27:43] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I mean, we literally Star Wars of you.

[27:46] Stephen Hanna: That is so Star Wars.

[27:48] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[27:49] Stephen Hanna: I know.

[27:50] Bret Shuford: It's so funny. So, side note, I was recently sick and I had to call out of the show. And so for the two days I was sick, I was vocal resting and trying to just sit on the couch, and I watched all the Star Wars movies from episode one through episode six, um, which was a huge feat.

[28:09] Stephen Hanna: And I was I watched a most of them with him. I didn't rewatch number one, but it was like, we got Disney Plus, and I'm sick. I'm gonna take advantage of this.

[28:16] Bret Shuford: So I have never really committed to the story of Star Wars, and now I'm fully committed. Like I'm in.

[28:24] Stephen Hanna: But I will say I feel like this would have never happened if Disney didn't have Star Wars Land.

[28:33] Bret Shuford: The Star Wars Land.

[28:34] Stephen Hanna: Star Wars Land, or just you know, now it's a Disney property, you know, like Star Wars in general.

[28:39] Bret Shuford: Yeah, probably.

[28:40] Stephen Hanna: But I've always been like, I'm more of a Disney animation fan. Nope, I'm hooked on Star Wars now.

[28:45] Bret Shuford: So I never actually put that together when I when he said I know that he was being Han Solo.

[28:50] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, that's right.

[28:52] Bret Shuford: Um anyway, that means I'm Prince of the World.

[28:55] Stephen Hanna: So that was like what happened in our relationship, but I think that like in general, I think a good time is ultimately when you feel it and you think that the other person feels it too.

[29:07] Bret Shuford: I don't think that if you're hesitant and you feel like maybe the other person doesn't feel that way, I I think that maybe that's not a good time, but I think a good time to say it is when you're feeling it and you have a good feeling that they feel it too.

[29:22] Stephen Hanna: Then I think there's you know, there's a good chance that you'll get what you want out of it. I think you have to trust your gut.

[29:28] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I think you have to say, like, if I'm feeling something and be and it's not a feeling, right? I mean, it has to be a real feeling, it can't be um infatuation.

[29:39] Stephen Hanna: So you know, if it's early on and there's a lot of sex happening, and you're just like physically like just oh my god, I feel amazing with this person. That's probably a little more infatuation than love at that point.

[29:52] Bret Shuford: Lust.

[29:55] Stephen Hanna: So give it a little bit of time. It's when you see when you see somebody and you start to see their imperfections and you're still okay with that, that's when you know it's love.

[30:10] Bret Shuford: Yes.

[30:10] Stephen Hanna: Or when you're when you move to a different town, and you each one of you is like freaking out like four times a day on a daily basis. That's when you know it's love.

[30:22] Bret Shuford: The hard part, I think, is when you start to see the human part of them, because humans are not perfect.

[30:27] Stephen Hanna: And so when you first see somebody But see, he's not talking about me right now, so I don't know what's what he's talking about.

[30:34] Bret Shuford: I mean, when I met Steven, I was like, he was his abs.

[30:37] Stephen Hanna: I mean, they still are like a rock.

[30:39] Bret Shuford: They're not like there.

[30:39] Stephen Hanna: And I was like, oh god, and I was backstage at Beauty and the Beast with John Tartaglia and Meredith Inglesby.

[30:46] Bret Shuford: And I'm like, oh my god, you guys, I'm dating the hottest guy. You gotta see him is picking me up the stage door. Do you remember this?

[30:52] Stephen Hanna: Yes.

[30:53] Bret Shuford: And I was there, and they like they peeked out the Fontan stage door. Checking me out, and they're like, I was just like, oh god. I knew it was happening. Johnny Tartaglia was like checking me out.

[31:06] Stephen Hanna: Anyways, so if you're feeling it and you think that they're feeling it, I think that it's okay. Just be honest.

[31:13] Bret Shuford: But know that I think I think it's a good idea. Just know that it's a commitment. I don't think that it should just be like flippantly said, you know.

[31:21] Stephen Hanna: And also make it a conversation.

[31:23] Bret Shuford: Like, yeah, I think I love you. Can we talk about that?

[31:26] Stephen Hanna: What that means?

[31:27] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[31:27] Stephen Hanna: And see what happens.

[31:28] Bret Shuford: So that's our advice for Dab Neil. And if you want relationship and dating advice from our completely unqualified selves, send us a DM on Instagram at Broadway Husbands or shoot us an email on Broadway Husbands.com, and we just might choose your question on the next episode.

[31:45] Stephen Hanna: Also, to guarantee you receive our advice, consider becoming a patron on Patreon, and you can join us on a live podcast to ask your question. Check out this plus an array of other benefits at patreon.com slash BroadwayHusbands for more details.

[32:01] Bret Shuford: Thanks for listening, guys, and we will see you in the next episode.

[32:04] Stephen Hanna: Remember, on this podcast, we encourage you to love who you love and love what you do.

[32:10] Bret Shuford: Bye.