This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:06] Bret Shuford: Hi, I'm Bret.

[0:07] Stephen Hanna: And I'm Stephen.

[0:08] Bret Shuford: And we are the Broadway Husbands.

[0:10] Stephen Hanna: We're an all-American married couple making our living in the arts and pursuing a growing family.

[0:15] Bret Shuford: On the Broadway Husbands podcast, we offer advice from our ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances.

[0:20] Stephen Hanna: We are living proof that you can love who you love and love what you do.

[0:24] Bret Shuford: Make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss our weekly episodes.

[0:28] Stephen Hanna: And if you really love us, make sure you leave a review on whatever podcast network you listen to us on.

[0:34] Bret Shuford: Take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands.

[0:37] Stephen Hanna: Visit us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands online at bpn.fm/husbands.

[0:43] Bret Shuford: We are proud members of the Broadway Podcast Network.

[0:51] Stephen Hanna: So welcome to episode 12.

[0:55] Bret Shuford: Episode 12.

[0:56] Stephen Hanna: We've done 12 episodes of our podcast.

[0:59] Bret Shuford: We're like another trilogy from what there is of the current Star Wars episodes.

[1:08] Stephen Hanna: Like it would be like a whole nother three episodes.

[1:11] Bret Shuford: I don't think it's quite as epic.

[1:13] Stephen Hanna: I wish it was.

[1:29] Bret Shuford: We haven't had any time to like actually sit down and set goals for the year.

[1:36] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[1:37] Bret Shuford: Right?

[1:37] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I mean I feel like we were.

[1:40] Bret Shuford: Sorry.

[1:41] Stephen Hanna: Are you burping up your bubbly?

[1:43] Bret Shuford: Yeah, me too.

[1:46] Stephen Hanna: It's delicious, Bubbly.

[1:48] Bret Shuford: Sorry, we're drinking bubbly.

[1:49] Stephen Hanna: Okay.

[1:49] Bret Shuford: Not sponsored by Bubbly, but we would happily be sponsored by Bubbly.

[1:53] Stephen Hanna: Um you know, we were in such a frantic state.

[2:00] Bret Shuford: I think for a while when we moved back, so we were just super busy trying to make everything work.

[2:06] Stephen Hanna: Like living in the moment, really trying to just like get through each day and then trying to pay our bills and trying to figure it out.

[2:14] Bret Shuford: Once the holidays happened, it was like, you know, I was in rehearsals and learning all these tracks I had to learn, and I still have a couple more things to learn to go on for before I actually think I'll maybe actually feel comfortable at Wicked.

[2:30] Stephen Hanna: I'm not sure if I'll ever feel comfortable at Wicked because it's so much work swinging.

[2:35] Bret Shuford: But um, but we actually for the first time in about a year and a half have some steady income.

[2:43] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, we do, and it's definitely we're in a much calmer state now.

[2:49] Bret Shuford: So but we're both extremely busy, and it's very hard for us to find time to sit down with one another.

[2:57] Stephen Hanna: Like it's even hard for us to schedule times for both of us to be on the podcast.

[3:04] Bret Shuford: Uh on the podcast at the same time.

[3:07] Stephen Hanna: So here we are.

[3:08] Bret Shuford: So here we are, and so we thought it would be interesting to actually set our goals for 2020 live while recording.

[3:17] Stephen Hanna: I mean, it's already the end of January, so we better get a move on this.

[3:22] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[3:24] Stephen Hanna: So I'm gonna, you know, if anyone doesn't know, I have a side business as the Broadway Life Coach.

[3:32] Bret Shuford: And one of the things that tell me what I can do to coach you.

[3:36] Stephen Hanna: Well, I'll coach you first, and then you can coach me.

[3:39] Bret Shuford: Oh boy, here we go.

[3:41] Stephen Hanna: All right.

[3:42] Bret Shuford: Here we go.

[3:43] Stephen Hanna: I certified life coach.

[3:44] Bret Shuford: Um you can check out my website, bretshuford.com if anyone's looking for um for help.

[3:50] Stephen Hanna: But um the goal of you know coaching is to help you set goals and hold you accountable to them for the future.

[4:00] Bret Shuford: So for me, I always use this acronym SMART, which I'm sure most people have heard of.

[4:09] Stephen Hanna: Um the acronym SMART for goal setting basically is a great way to measure out whether or not it's a goal that is achievable.

[4:19] Bret Shuford: So SMART stands for specific.

[4:22] Stephen Hanna: The M stands for measurable.

[4:25] Bret Shuford: A stands for achievable.

[4:28] Stephen Hanna: That was it, yeah.

[4:29] Bret Shuford: Mm-hmm, right?

[4:29] Stephen Hanna: Um some people say uh attainable or whatever, but R, I use the for R I use resonant.

[4:37] Bret Shuford: So does it resonate with you?

[4:39] Stephen Hanna: And uh T stands for timely.

[4:42] Bret Shuford: So um some people use different words for those, but that's what I use.

[4:46] Stephen Hanna: So specific.

[4:47] Bret Shuford: So we want to set a goal for 2020.

[4:50] Stephen Hanna: Uh-huh.

[4:50] Bret Shuford: And usually I say let's set one to three goals at a max.

[4:56] Stephen Hanna: Okay.

[4:56] Bret Shuford: Right.

[4:57] Stephen Hanna: But for this, for the sake of everyone on the listening, let's just try to set one.

[5:02] Bret Shuford: What do you think?

[5:04] Stephen Hanna: Do you want to do one personal one?

[5:05] Bret Shuford: Like a personal one and a personal one and a professional one.

[5:11] Stephen Hanna: How about that?

[5:12] Bret Shuford: Okay.

[5:12] Stephen Hanna: Okay.

[5:13] Bret Shuford: So what feels daunting right now, because I'm not I like really I don't what do you think?

[5:20] Stephen Hanna: What do you want to accomplish this year, personally for you?

[5:23] Bret Shuford: Uh personally, I think God, there's so many things.

[5:28] Stephen Hanna: So personally, like the things I want to happen like now or in the near future are I want to sell our apartment, I want to buy a house, I want to have a baby, I um like those are the things that I want to happen that I feel like can't really happen today.

[5:55] Bret Shuford: Well, what about this year?

[5:56] Stephen Hanna: But they can happen in 2020.

[5:59] Bret Shuford: So what's one thing that would get you closer to one of those things?

[6:02] Stephen Hanna: Is 2020?

[6:03] Bret Shuford: Sorry.

[6:04] Stephen Hanna: Um like let's say we don't have the house this year.

[6:08] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I mean the house is fine.

[6:09] Stephen Hanna: That's probably okay, right?

[6:10] Bret Shuford: Yeah, but I'm like starting to obsessively look at houses.

[6:13] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[6:14] Bret Shuford: Okay, sorry, I'll stop.

[6:15] Stephen Hanna: Um so I think then really the goal is to be pregnant and have a baby.

[6:25] Bret Shuford: That's me, it's really the main goal, and I think so.

[6:29] Stephen Hanna: Wait, so go ahead, coach me.

[6:31] Bret Shuford: So you're so you would like to be pregnant by the end of this year, or would you like to have the baby by the end of this year?

[6:39] Stephen Hanna: If this be specific.

[6:42] Bret Shuford: I would like to have the baby by no later than February of 2021.

[6:54] Stephen Hanna: Okay, so we're pregnant this year.

[6:57] Bret Shuford: Like next month.

[6:58] Stephen Hanna: That would be awesome.

[7:00] Bret Shuford: Um, yeah, so coach me.

[7:02] Stephen Hanna: Okay, so is that measurable?

[7:05] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[7:05] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I just like to if you have a baby.

[7:05] Bret Shuford: If you have a baby in your hand, it's like measured it.

[7:10] Stephen Hanna: 2021, February.

[7:12] Bret Shuford: How achievable is that?

[7:14] Stephen Hanna: Very how?

[7:16] Bret Shuford: What do you mean?

[7:17] Stephen Hanna: How do you know it's achievable?

[7:21] Bret Shuford: It's achievable because I have no people that have done it.

[7:27] Stephen Hanna: It's achieved okay, but for you.

[7:29] Bret Shuford: Well, it's achievable because we're in a place financially where we're gonna do it.

[7:34] Stephen Hanna: Financially we're okay.

[7:36] Bret Shuford: And we already have all of our eggs in a basket.

[7:40] Stephen Hanna: Mostly we have all the insurance.

[7:43] Bret Shuford: We have embryos.

[7:44] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I mean, like literally we have all of our eggs in a yeah.

[7:48] Bret Shuford: We have the embryos, we have all of our insurance and things set up.

[7:56] Stephen Hanna: Um we have the money set aside in an account for the surrogate.

[8:03] Bret Shuford: Um so all those things are ready.

[8:05] Stephen Hanna: Like we just have to find a surrogate.

[8:07] Bret Shuford: We just need a carrier.

[8:08] Stephen Hanna: We need a carrier.

[8:10] Bret Shuford: Okay.

[8:11] Stephen Hanna: And yeah.

[8:13] Bret Shuford: Go ahead.

[8:14] Stephen Hanna: And does it resonate with you?

[8:16] Bret Shuford: Like, does it get you excited and a little nervous?

[8:18] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[8:19] Bret Shuford: Resonating.

[8:20] Stephen Hanna: Uh-huh.

[8:20] Bret Shuford: And it's timely.

[8:21] Stephen Hanna: Okay, good.

[8:22] Bret Shuford: That's a good goal to be pregnant by the end of the year.

[8:27] Stephen Hanna: Just get me pregnant already.

[8:29] Bret Shuford: We've been trying.

[8:31] Stephen Hanna: For years.

[8:33] Bret Shuford: So, um please.

[8:35] Stephen Hanna: So then so that's a great personal long term goal for the year, and then we could break that down into smaller goals.

[8:42] Bret Shuford: So like you're you which you already just did.

[8:44] Stephen Hanna: So you need we need a carrier.

[8:47] Bret Shuford: So that's that's to me the first goal.

[8:50] Stephen Hanna: And we could set that, you know.

[8:52] Bret Shuford: We are we have some wheels in motion, the things might happen.

[8:52] Stephen Hanna: Might happen.

[8:55] Bret Shuford: We're hoping maybe by March things will be lined up.

[8:58] Stephen Hanna: Um break that down to a small goal, then you know, then from there it's like we have to get the apartment ready, right?

[9:06] Bret Shuford: So then that could be a second half of the year goal.

[9:11] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, it's a tiny apartment.

[9:13] Bret Shuford: To have another human being in there.

[9:16] Stephen Hanna: They'll last will last for like a year.

[9:18] Bret Shuford: And the walls are thin.

[9:19] Stephen Hanna: I'm gonna feel so bad for our neighbors.

[9:22] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[9:23] Stephen Hanna: Well, we listen to them fight all the time.

[9:25] Bret Shuford: So like literally like drunk fight.

[9:28] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I don't even know that they're drunk.

[9:30] Bret Shuford: Like, because I there have been times that they have been drunk, but like all I hear is a just like, I told you.

[9:38] Stephen Hanna: I babe, it's not like that.

[9:44] Bret Shuford: Listen to me.

[9:45] Stephen Hanna: You're not listening to me.

[9:46] Bret Shuford: It's like anyway, so like trying to watch Star Wars.

[9:48] Stephen Hanna: And I'm like, Yep.

[9:54] Bret Shuford: So yeah, I mean, uh this is a goal that I feel like we've got all of the things lined up.

[10:02] Stephen Hanna: I just want it to happen.

[10:04] Bret Shuford: Okay, so that's a good personal goal for us.

[10:07] Stephen Hanna: I think we can both share that goal personally, right?

[10:09] Bret Shuford: Okay, we can share it.

[10:12] Stephen Hanna: What's a what's talk about career goals?

[10:16] Bret Shuford: Okay.

[10:17] Stephen Hanna: So yeah, these are hard.

[10:21] Bret Shuford: It's super hard.

[10:23] Stephen Hanna: Um I I can do my career.

[10:26] Bret Shuford: How about yeah, how about you go first?

[10:28] Stephen Hanna: I would really like this year to get more directing and producing credits.

[10:33] Bret Shuford: Like that's a big goal.

[10:34] Stephen Hanna: I directed Little Mermaid last year.

[10:36] Bret Shuford: I really loved that experience.

[10:38] Stephen Hanna: I loved producing and creating the video content I've produced over the years.

[10:43] Bret Shuford: I've been doing some side work, doing branding and like social media management stuff for some friends, and I really love the content, right?

[10:53] Stephen Hanna: Clearly, probably husbands, I love creating content.

[10:56] Bret Shuford: So but I want to get more legitimate, like legitimate producing, directing credits with real theaters or real production companies.

[11:06] Stephen Hanna: Because I think what I'd like to do is eventually either um well, ideally, in like five years from now, I want to work for Walt Disney Imagineering.

[11:17] Bret Shuford: That's my dream goal.

[11:18] Stephen Hanna: Um, but I wanna I want to take advantage of being in the community again and being in New York to do some more of that.

[11:27] Bret Shuford: So I think this year what would be great is maybe two or three projects that I have guided either as a producer or what is the S4 again specific.

[11:42] Stephen Hanna: So I I'm curious.

[11:44] Bret Shuford: Oh god, how can we make this a little bit more specific?

[11:48] Stephen Hanna: So you're saying two to three projects?

[11:50] Bret Shuford: He's listened to me.

[11:52] Stephen Hanna: So you're saying two to three projects.

[11:57] Bret Shuford: What specifically would you be doing in those projects?

[12:02] Stephen Hanna: Would it be directing only or creating content and directing and producing?

[12:09] Bret Shuford: I think you need to be a little bit clearer.

[12:11] Stephen Hanna: Do you really are you just patronizing me?

[12:14] Bret Shuford: I think no, I mean I think you do because I think that you can't just be like doing three things.

[12:20] Stephen Hanna: Like it has to be one thing.

[12:21] Bret Shuford: Well, I would like to do I would I would like to have I mean three, like I you could do three projects, but I think what are you doing in those projects?

[12:29] Stephen Hanna: I would like directing.

[12:31] Bret Shuford: I'm open to them either being producing and directing or both.

[12:34] Stephen Hanna: Why couldn't I why can't they be open to that?

[12:37] Bret Shuford: I think they do vague.

[12:39] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[12:40] Bret Shuford: I think it would be more I guess I if I am producing it, I could still be directing it, right?

[12:46] Stephen Hanna: So why don't I say I want three projects that I direct?

[12:50] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[12:50] Stephen Hanna: I think that that's that's what I'm talking about.

[12:52] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[12:52] Stephen Hanna: And I guess they could be video projects or theatrical projects.

[12:56] Bret Shuford: I think you need to be more specific.

[12:58] Stephen Hanna: Why can't I say t a minimum of two projects?

[13:02] Bret Shuford: And one one is video and one is theatrical.

[13:05] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[13:06] Bret Shuford: That's that's more specific.

[13:10] Stephen Hanna: And then the M is for measurable.

[13:13] Bret Shuford: Measurable.

[13:14] Stephen Hanna: So there's two.

[13:15] Bret Shuford: There's two, okay.

[13:17] Stephen Hanna: And attainable.

[13:18] Bret Shuford: No, what did you say?

[13:19] Stephen Hanna: Oh, achievable.

[13:20] Bret Shuford: Do you think this is achievable?

[13:21] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I've done it before.

[13:23] Bret Shuford: I have experience accomplishing it before.

[13:26] Stephen Hanna: All right.

[13:26] Bret Shuford: And what is the R for?

[13:28] Stephen Hanna: Resonance.

[13:29] Bret Shuford: Resonant.

[13:30] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[13:30] Bret Shuford: Makes me nervous.

[13:31] Stephen Hanna: I will say you look excited.

[13:33] Bret Shuford: If I could like work with let's say like if I could even associate direct, like with um Susan Stroman or like Jerry Mitchell.

[13:44] Stephen Hanna: You know, like somebody like that, that would be really cool.

[13:47] Bret Shuford: Or even lead a project as a director, like to host like direct a reading and help get a project like into like a theater company or something like that.

[13:57] Stephen Hanna: That would be so cool.

[13:58] Bret Shuford: Like I would live for that.

[14:01] Stephen Hanna: And then so that yeah, that r makes me scared and nervous and like res that resonates, yeah.

[14:06] Bret Shuford: Mm-hmm.

[14:07] Bret Shuford: And then timely, I think, yeah, we've set a time limit on it. Let's say if so it'd be December nineteenth of 2020. You want to achieve these goals?

[14:14] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, that'd be cool.

[14:16] Bret Shuford: Wouldn't that be cool?

[14:17] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, it would be awesome. I feel like December 19th or 20th is a good date to pick because it's right before Christmas, and by that point you're gonna wanna have done it.

[14:27] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[14:28] Bret Shuford: All right. So do you have did I coach you right?

[14:32] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, good job, Steven.

[14:34] Bret Shuford: So if you guys want to be coached by me, um just DM me on Broadway Husbands. No, I'm just all right. So coach me on a on a goal.

[14:45] Stephen Hanna: Okay, let's talk about your career goal. What do you want to have happen this year?

[14:48] Bret Shuford: God, I like I have like fantasies of things that I want to happen.

[14:56] Stephen Hanna: I'm sure you do.

[15:01] Bret Shuford: I do, I do, I do say it, Alan. I was gonna make a bad threesome joke.

[15:10] Stephen Hanna: Um but I wanna I wanna say things that are realistic.

[15:16] Bret Shuford: Okay, so go like for instance, there's like this like I I would love to be in a play. I think that that would be something that but aren't you doing that right now?

[15:32] Stephen Hanna: I am doing it right now, so that's like yeah.

[15:35] Bret Shuford: So then you've accomplished that goal.

[15:38] Stephen Hanna: I'm accomplishing it and I'm loving it. So I guess my other goal is I want to be at least a supporting role in a future film.

[15:53] Bret Shuford: Ooh, that's good. That's like always been like a dream thing of mine. Like I want to be able to go somewhere and like work really hard and rehearse really hard for like three to four months and like really prepare and then like get this get a chance to like film a project that I don't know.

[16:18] Bret Shuford: Okay. So you would like to book a um at least a supporting role in a major motion picture or an independent film? Where what do you think?

[16:28] Stephen Hanna: Well uh see this is where I don't want to had you booked any films before.

[16:35] Bret Shuford: Oh, only like two.

[16:38] Stephen Hanna: And were they major motion pictures and independent films?

[16:41] Bret Shuford: One was a major motion picture and one was um an independent film.

[16:46] Stephen Hanna: And did you have speaking lines? Were you supporting role in either of them?

[16:49] Bret Shuford: One I was the lead, and one I was not just like a dancer.

[16:53] Stephen Hanna: Okay. And so the one you were the lead, were you happy with the level of that production?

[16:59] Bret Shuford: Okay. So you want to go a notch up from that.

[17:02] Stephen Hanna: Yes.

[17:03] Bret Shuford: So more so not a student film, not a student film or not like a like a no-budget film, but like so supporting role in an independent film.

[17:13] Stephen Hanna: Independent film, yeah. That sounds like that's it, yeah.

[17:17] Bret Shuford: I think it's a good that feels specific, right?

[17:19] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[17:21] Bret Shuford: And it's measurable because it's one.

[17:24] Stephen Hanna: It's one, yeah.

[17:25] Bret Shuford: Is it how achievable is that? We just talked through that, right?

[17:29] Stephen Hanna: Yeah. I mean it it can be achieved. Because you've done I've done it, sort of, sort of.

[17:33] Bret Shuford: So you just gonna be a good one. I'm definitely like auditioned for things that are much bigger than that kind of level and much smaller than that kind of level. I've auditioned for all of those levels around it and in between and just really, really, really want to blow.

[17:50] Stephen Hanna: You really want that.

[17:50] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I can see that it resonates.

[17:52] Stephen Hanna: I really do.

[17:52] Bret Shuford: Yeah. So then you so then your actions this year need to reflect that.

[17:57] Stephen Hanna: Yes, sir.

[17:58] Bret Shuford: Right? So how do you you know you need to maybe take some workshops with some you know, independent film casting directors?

[18:06] Stephen Hanna: Okay, that's a good idea.

[18:07] Bret Shuford: Or maybe take Rob Krakowers class again or something. Yeah, you know what I mean?

[18:11] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[18:12] Bret Shuford: That'd be a really good goal for you.

[18:14] Stephen Hanna: All right. Do you guys talk like this at home?

[18:16] Bret Shuford: No.

[18:17] Stephen Hanna: Sometimes.

[18:18] Bret Shuford: Sometimes. We're not this civil.

[18:20] Stephen Hanna: Usually we just watch Netflix.

[18:24] Bret Shuford: Would it not be beneficial to like do monthly check-ins like this?

[18:29] Stephen Hanna: I've tried.

[18:30] Bret Shuford: Oh.

[18:31] Stephen Hanna: I've tried to schedule those appointments and then they always fade from our schedule.

[18:37] Bret Shuford: Right, Steven.

[18:39] Stephen Hanna: I mean, yeah, sometimes they do, yeah. The problem really for us with our lives is that we freelance on so many things, so our schedules are so inconsistent.

[18:50] Bret Shuford: So we have to really sit down and like force ourselves to to have these conversations. You know, but we honestly, like we were saying, and we were being really honest, is we since this year started, since I joined Wicked, like I've had no time. So this is really helpful.

[19:08] Stephen Hanna: I hope it's helpful for some of you listening.

[19:10] Bret Shuford: Somebody listening, yeah. For us to like sit down and talk through what we want to accomplish this year.

[19:15] Stephen Hanna: Yeah. I think those are good goals.

[19:17] Bret Shuford: They are good goals and they're definitely achievable. Um, and they require us to budget and think about money and all that stuff will sort of be the smaller goals towards these larger goals for the year. But it's exciting.

[19:31] Stephen Hanna: I'm excited.

[19:32] Bret Shuford: I'm excited.

[19:35] Stephen Hanna: Yay. I coached you. Do you feel better now that I coached you?

[19:40] Bret Shuford: Yeah, you're such a good coach.

[19:42] Stephen Hanna: I know. You've learned from the best.

[19:46] Bret Shuford: Alright. So now that you've learned.

[19:51] Stephen Hanna: No. Well, now we're gonna move on to our next segment we call Spotlight.

[20:00] Bret Shuford: Well, I don't really have we have the question.

[20:04] Stephen Hanna: So the question is.

[20:06] Bret Shuford: Oh, right. Yes, this is a good question. Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?

[20:19] Stephen Hanna: I mean, it's interesting because we have friends who um a really dear friend of ours who's going through separation. And one of the early conversations as the separation started was his was his unwillingness to compromise. And that was an interesting conversation because like compromise, I think is really a huge part of marriage. And but the thing about to me about marriage is the compromise doesn't feel like compromise in a marriage. It feels like collaboration, maybe, or like so it's a hard thing to say.

[21:06] Bret Shuford: Like I I'm willing to do maybe suspend my own um satisfaction, let's say work-wise, if it's going to help our family, let's say accomplish our goals for 2020, right? So if like if you wanted to make a film and you booked something and or um or we knew that this job was gonna make more money and help us have a kid, that's our goal for the year, then I'm willing to say, like, okay, I'll quit and we'll go and we'll try it and we'll figure it out, just like we did with Charleston, right? Is that compromise?

[21:45] Stephen Hanna: I mean, I guess on some level it's compromise, but it feels like a commitment to our relationship.

[21:51] Bret Shuford: Right. And, you know, I was very unhappy. There were moments in Charleston where I would be driving a drop you off at work and I would be driving to my other job crying in the car going, I'm so unhappy. And, you know, but it was it was worth figuring out and worth trying. How many people do we know in New York that complain about New York and complain about the eight shows a week and never frickin' try something else? And we freaking did it.

[22:21] Stephen Hanna: That's right.

[22:21] Bret Shuford: And and we're back to where we started, you know, and we know but we know things now, many wonderful things. And it's you're so Broadway. And so I think it's, you know, I would say compromise and a commitment in relationship, compromise is uh essential in marriage, but it doesn't feel like compromise when you're doing it for the greater good of the relationship.

[22:52] Stephen Hanna: And also I think uh I guess my answer would be like do you compromise your happiness for the success for the success of the relationship? I think that just speaking for myself is that my relationship in marriage makes me so happy that I want to do things that support it. So therefore, it's very similar to what Brett was just saying. It's just it doesn't, it's not compromising, it's making this thing like in my life, you know, it makes me happy on like just my living level, like my heart happy.

[23:34] Bret Shuford: And if that's happy, then joy can be found in things that I maybe don't like necessarily like want to do or have to do, but like it doesn't matter. It just it all seems sort of trivial because uh there's been like two or three times in our relationship where career things have come up. One was very early on in our relationship. I got offered a final callback for the course line tour. Do you remember that?

[24:03] Stephen Hanna: Oh, right.

[24:04] Bret Shuford: And I turned down the callback because I didn't want to leave town because Steven and I had just started dating, and I really wanted the relationship to grow. It felt like a bigger commitment to the relationship to turn down that job. And of course, I always wonder what you know, J. Armstrong Johnson has this amazing, like, you know, principal career now. And like I wonder if I had done that tour, if that could have happened to me or whatever. But at the same time, I'm so happy in my marriage, and I'm so happy with what we've built that it was worth it.

[24:38] Bret Shuford: It's it, you just never, you know, and I remember that one time I got offered the Hoop-Dee-Doo Review at Disney World.

[24:44] Stephen Hanna: Oh, right.

[24:44] Bret Shuford: And I was like, I'm ready to move to Disney World. And I was like, we're not moving on, we're not moving to Orlando.

[24:49] Bret Shuford: And I was willing, like I knew it would make me so happy to move to Orlando and work at Disney World. I was like, we're not moving to Florida.

[24:54] Bret Shuford: But I was willing. I think I said I'm not moving to Florida.

[24:57] Bret Shuford: And I was like, I'm wrong, I can't leave my husband behind.

[25:02] Stephen Hanna: So yeah. And I think I like on a on my side of things, I I've had people like instantly I think of a friend of mine who I grew up with dancing uh with, she dances for a company in in uh France, and the few times that I've seen her in the past 10 years, she's been like, Oh, you should come and audition and take class, and I remember there was a time where like I was at the age and like where I probably could have done that, and but ultimately I was like, but then I would have to like live in France, yes, and but I said to Brett, I was like, How would I and he was like, if you want to do it? And I was like, I don't know, you know, so like I've definitely made decisions like that for us to be together, and um, but like ultimately it it doesn't feel like a compromise on my happiness because this is what I want, you know.

[26:02] Bret Shuford: Like, I want us to be together as much as we possibly can. I mean, not as much as we want, but you know, you know, as long as it, you know, we're still gonna do the things that we want to do.

[26:14] Stephen Hanna: So I guess the you know, the point is that like if if you're not willing to compromise in the relationship, it shouldn't feel like a compromise. I feel like compromise is the wrong the right relationship for you, yeah.

[26:27] Bret Shuford: Yeah, that's my thought on that question, because it shouldn't feel like compromise, and it it shouldn't feel like it should feel like you know you're committed. And that's to me what marriage is about, right? You I'm committed to to this other person's happiness. And you know, I think that if Steven knew that like moving to Orlando would have been the best thing for us together, he would have been like, yes, let's do it. But the timing it was not the right thing.

[26:59] Stephen Hanna: The timing is always an issue, right? Sometimes the timing's right for one person and it's not right for the other. And you know, you just have to trust that when whatever the universe wants, timing-wise, is gonna work out. And that's and you know, ultimately, that's how we came to the decision to move to Charleston. Like the timing was just right for both of us. We were just so ready to like say yes to leaving work, yeah.

[27:23] Bret Shuford: We were like, yeah, and we both were like, let's try this, you know. So that is a great question.

[27:31] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I think. And um, we'd love to hear what you guys have to think. So if you want relationship and dating advice from our completely unqualified self, shoot us a DM on Instagram at Broadway Husbands, or email us on Broadway Husbands.com, and you just might choose your question on the next episode. Also, to guarantee that you receive our advice, consider becoming a patron on Patreon, and you can join us live on a podcast to ask your questions. So check out this plus an array of other benefits at patreon.com/slash Broadway Husbands for more details.

[28:03] Bret Shuford: And as always, we inspire you on this podcast to love who you love and love what you do. Always.