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[0:06] Bret Shuford: Hey, I'm Bret.

[0:07] Stephen Hanna: And I'm Steven.

[0:08] Bret Shuford: And we are the Broadway Husbands.

[0:12] Stephen Hanna: We are your all-American married couple making their living in the arts and pursuing a growing family.

[0:17] Bret Shuford: On the Broadway Husbands Podcast, we offer advice from our ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances.

[0:23] Stephen Hanna: We are living proof that you can love who you love and love what you do.

[0:27] Bret Shuford: Make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss our weekly episodes.

[0:31] Stephen Hanna: And if you really love us, make sure you leave a review on whatever platform you listen to us on.

[0:36] Bret Shuford: Take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram at BroadwayHusbands.

[0:39] Stephen Hanna: Make sure to check out the Broadway Podcast Network, which we are very proud to be members of.

[0:45] Bret Shuford: Go to bpn.fm backslash husbands to check out all of our episodes, leave a review, and also check out BroadwayLifeApparel.com where we have designed Broadway-themed apparel, and some of it actually goes to benefit the Actors Fund during this COVID-19 crisis.

[1:06] Stephen Hanna: So if you want to help make a difference and get something in return, check out BroadwayLifeApparel.com.

[1:29] Bret Shuford: I will have had my birthday.

[1:31] Stephen Hanna: What?

[1:31] Bret Shuford: And wait, your birthday's coming up?

[1:33] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[1:34] Bret Shuford: Just kidding.

[1:35] Stephen Hanna: And let's say, okay, so Wicked isn't happening. So what have we been doing with our time?

[1:40] Bret Shuford: I have been coaching a lot with the Broadway Life Coach. That's my side business. So if you're anyone who wants to be an aspiring actor and is looking for advice or coaching, check out BroadwayLifeCoach.com.

[1:54] Stephen Hanna: I've been teaching ballet at Ballet Academy East on Wednesdays and Fridays, and also training privately and group classes at Ballet Beautiful.

[2:06] Bret Shuford: Um, yeah, you can check out my schedule on my Instagram. I usually post it there.

[2:11] Stephen Hanna: And I try to work out every day. I've done a little better the last couple weeks. I've been taking class, which has been fun.

[2:19] Bret Shuford: Um, we've been taking long walks together, lots of walks, lots of walks.

[2:24] Stephen Hanna: In fact, we just took a walk and we saw four deer just right in the yard next to us.

[2:29] Bret Shuford: A couple bunny rabbits, bunny rabbits.

[2:31] Stephen Hanna: We heard a cat like meowing maybe it was in heat. I don't know what was going on, but doing some cats are out, their bunnies are out, the deer are out.

[2:41] Bret Shuford: And we're sort of like you can't see this in the East Village.

[2:45] Stephen Hanna: So it's certainly been kind of a nice little break to get a little nature in our lives.

[2:49] Bret Shuford: I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if I saw a deer running down 7th Street in the East Village, but or somebody dressed like or somebody pretending to be a deer.

[2:59] Stephen Hanna: But so on tonight's episode, we're calling it the love languages.

[3:07] Bret Shuford: We were asked by actually by a couple people have suggested what are your love languages? And we didn't know.

[3:12] Stephen Hanna: So we looked up the five love languages. If you don't know what the five love languages is, it's a book.

[3:20] Bret Shuford: And um, there's a website, five love languages.com, where you can take a quiz now and find out what language you most communicate.

[3:34] Stephen Hanna: So we're gonna take a look at the question. We decided we're gonna take the quiz out loud with you all, and then tell you the results, and we'll discover it all together.

[3:44] Bret Shuford: So while you're listening to this, or maybe you want to take it with us, go to fivelovelanguages.com. Uh maybe you'll think about what your answers are.

[3:53] Stephen Hanna: All right, Bret's computer. I can see it.

[3:54] Bret Shuford: So you can can you turn your computer so I don't see it?

[3:58] Stephen Hanna: Fine.

[3:58] Bret Shuford: Okay, good. So wait, I still can see it.

[4:00] Stephen Hanna: All right, what's your gender?

[4:02] Bret Shuford: Gender. Okay, that's easy. Done.

[4:04] Stephen Hanna: Male.

[4:05] Bret Shuford: Age.

[4:06] Stephen Hanna: Age.

[4:07] Bret Shuford: 35 to 44.

[4:08] Stephen Hanna: What?

[4:09] Bret Shuford: Okay. Married or in a relationship.

[4:11] Stephen Hanna: Married.

[4:12] Bret Shuford: Have you read The Five Language by Gary Chapman as the author?

[4:16] Stephen Hanna: Gary Chapman is the author.

[4:17] Bret Shuford: No. Somebody, hey Gary, if you want to send us a copy, we'll read it. We would love to read it.

[4:21] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when I receive a loving note/text/email for no special reason from my loved one, or my partner and I hug.

[4:32] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when I can spend alone time with my partner, just the two of us, or my partner does something practical to help me out.

[4:43] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when my partner gives me a little gift as a token of our love for each other, or I get to spend uninterrupted leisure time with my partner.

[4:54] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when my partner unexpectedly does something for me like filling my car or doing my laundry, or my partner and I touch.

[5:16] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when I'm around my partner, even if we're not really doing anything, or I hold hands with my partner.

[5:25] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when my partner gives me a gift, or I hear I love you from my partner.

[5:34] Stephen Hanna: That's a tough one.

[5:36] Bret Shuford: It is.

[7:09] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when my partner works on special projects with me that I have to complete, or my partner gives me an exciting gift.

[7:17] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when I'm complimented by my partner on my appearance, or my partner takes the time to listen to me and really understand my feelings.

[7:30] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when my partner and I share non-sexual touch in public, or my partner offers to run errands for me.

[7:41] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when my partner does a bit more than his or her normal share of the responsibilities we share around the house, work related, etc., or I get a gift that I know my partner puts thought into choosing.

[7:55] Stephen Hanna: Hmm.

[7:56] Bret Shuford: Hmm.

[7:57] Stephen Hanna: That's hard.

[7:58] Bret Shuford: Yeah, it's more meaningful to me when my partner doesn't check his wait, wait. I don't know.

[8:01] Stephen Hanna: I don't know.

[8:02] Bret Shuford: It's still meaningful.

[8:02] Stephen Hanna: Pick one.

[8:03] Bret Shuford: I don't know.

[8:04] Stephen Hanna: Oh yeah, wait, wait, wait, wait. Pick one, Steven.

[8:07] Bret Shuford: Doesn't matter. Go.

[8:08] Stephen Hanna: Yeah. It's more meaningful to me when my partner doesn't check his or her phone while talking, or my partner goes out of their way to do something that relieves pressure on me.

[8:18] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when I can look forward to a holiday because of a gift I anticipate receiving, or I hear the words I appreciate you, or my partner.

[8:28] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when my partner brings me a little gift after he or she has been traveling without me, or my partner takes care of something I'm responsible to do, but I feel too stressed to do at the time.

[8:41] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when my partner doesn't interrupt me while I'm talking, or gift giving is an important part of our relationship.

[8:53] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when my partner helps me out when he or she knows I'm already tired, or I get to do something while spending time with or get to go somewhere while spending time with my partner.

[9:07] Bret Shuford: I don't know.

[9:08] Stephen Hanna: I don't know.

[9:08] Bret Shuford: Um wait, did I do it?

[9:15] Stephen Hanna: Oh yeah. It's more meaningful to me when my partner and I are physically intimate, or my partner gives me a little gift that he picked up in the normal course.

[9:25] Bret Shuford: What's the difference?

[9:26] Stephen Hanna: Yeah. It's more meaningful to me when my partner says something encouraging to me, or I get to spend time in a shared activity or hobby with my partner.

[9:34] Bret Shuford: It's more meaningful to me when my partner surprises me with a small token of their appreciation, or my partner and I touch a lot during the normal course of the day.

[9:45] Stephen Hanna: It's more meaningful to me when my partner helps me out, especially if I know they're already busy, or I hear my partner specifically tell me I appreciate you.

[10:08] Bret Shuford: Oh, 100%.

[10:12] Stephen Hanna: That was it for me.

[10:14] Bret Shuford: How did I get another question?

[10:16] Stephen Hanna: I don't know. It's more meaningful to me when I'm around my partner, even if we're not really doing anything, or my partner does something practical to help me out.

[10:28] Bret Shuford: What's your answer?

[10:34] Stephen Hanna: Interesting. Mine's acts of service.

[10:39] Bret Shuford: I got a.

[10:40] Stephen Hanna: What did you get?

[10:45] Bret Shuford: Quality time.

[10:47] Stephen Hanna: So what does quality time mean, Steven?

[10:49] Bret Shuford: Quality time is in the vernacular of quality time.

[10:55] Stephen Hanna: Nothing says I love you, like full undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby makes your significant other feel truly special in love.

[11:10] Bret Shuford: Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

[11:17] Stephen Hanna: Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

[11:22] Bret Shuford: I would just like to say we had Steven's parents who are staying about a mile and they live about a mile and a half from where we're staying.

[11:29] Stephen Hanna: Take this test, and Steven and his dad get the same.

[11:34] Bret Shuford: How dare you?

[11:36] Stephen Hanna: You're both quality time.

[11:37] Bret Shuford: That's right. And what's interesting is your mom and I got the same results.

[11:41] Stephen Hanna: Oh my god, what is your result?

[11:45] Bret Shuford: Acts of service.

[11:46] Stephen Hanna: Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love?

[11:49] Bret Shuford: Uh absolutely.

[11:51] Bret Shuford: Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an acts of service person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear. I can help you with that. Can I help you with that? Let me do that for you. Let me do that for you. Let me do that for you. Oh, that's like music to my ears, Steven. Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tells speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts. What do you think, Steven? Is that accurate?

[12:26] Stephen Hanna: I mean, yeah, I guess. I think for you, I think it's pretty accurate.

[12:33] Bret Shuford: Yeah. What did you what was your second choice? Your second.

[12:39] Stephen Hanna: It was physical touch.

[12:41] Bret Shuford: Mine was acts of service. Interesting. And then my third one was physical touch, then receiving gifts, and then words of affirmation.

[12:52] Stephen Hanna: Wow. You don't need much affirmation.

[12:57] Bret Shuford: No, I just need like your time. I need you to touch me, and I need you to do things for me.

[13:04] Stephen Hanna: Okay. All right. Well, that's so interesting. I feel like we should read the book now because I would like to know more about how to speak your language.

[13:13] Bret Shuford: I wish you would, you know.

[13:15] Stephen Hanna: I know. I mean, I actually think that we do pretty good with this because um, you know, in periods of our relationship when maybe we aren't listening to one another or aren't communicating. Um, we've figured out how to. Um, maybe not always like super gracefully, but you know, there have been times when we've had to have conversations about our feelings and about what we want from one another, and you know, we're definitely a work in progress, and I'm super grateful that we're in this quarantine isolation together, and now I'm even more grateful that you know what language to speak to me.

[14:06] Bret Shuford: Do you think that I do a good job of doing of speaking your language? Or no?

[14:13] Stephen Hanna: That sounded like a lie. You went, mm-hmm. I mean, there's like times where I feel like, and this is we we've talked about this. If I don't tell you to do it, it doesn't happen. I have to literally be like, that do this and this and this and this.

[14:31] Bret Shuford: Yes, but I also and then you'll do it and you will always do it, but there's never a moment where it's like, oh, and while I was doing that, I saw these other things I could do and I did those.

[14:42] Stephen Hanna: Well, I mean, yeah, I guess you're right, but like also I'm I don't know that like a lot of times I feel like you don't tell me that you want me to do those certain things.

[14:54] Bret Shuford: Right, that's the point.

[14:55] Stephen Hanna: Oh, okay. Well do you think you speak my language?

[15:01] Bret Shuford: I think you are so physical that sometimes I think I No, but mine is not physical.

[15:10] Stephen Hanna: Oh, right. What is it?

[15:11] Bret Shuford: Quality time.

[15:13] Stephen Hanna: I don't think I think sometimes. I think sometimes I piss you off with my distractions because I get very Yeah, you're super distracted all of the time.

[15:22] Bret Shuford: I'm very EDD.

[15:23] Stephen Hanna: Yes.

[15:23] Bret Shuford: And so I'm always like, can you not bang all these things on the table while we're recording? It's gonna be all in the recording.

[15:35] Stephen Hanna: So I think you know, you want a lot of times you want like undivided attention, and usually you want it when I'm in the middle of like working, and that can be frustrating.

[15:46] Bret Shuford: But I s I do think I could do better when we are together to thank you.

[15:50] Stephen Hanna: Not my phone.

[15:52] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I agree.

[15:53] Stephen Hanna: Thank you.

[15:54] Bret Shuford: You're welcome.

[15:55] Stephen Hanna: Thank you for acknowledging that. I know that must have been hard for you.

[16:04] Bret Shuford: It's so funny. I feel so um. It's like we're in isolation, right? But like I feel so worn out today. It's so interesting. I think it's because like we painted my brother's house the other day. And like I'm tired from that. And then like I taught and I took a ballet class. And then, you know, I don't know. It's like I feel very tired today, my hair.

[16:28] Stephen Hanna: You're very busy.

[16:29] Bret Shuford: I'm just so busy.

[16:30] Stephen Hanna: You're just so busy in quarantine.

[16:32] Bret Shuford: I mean, I guess, whatever that means. Um it's interesting. I just feel very calm. Um, well, let's talk about our next segment.

[16:47] Stephen Hanna: We call this segment spotlight on love.

[16:53] Bret Shuford: All right. There we go. All right. So the question is from a follower on Instagram who DMed us and they said, I'm thinking about moving from New York to Seattle to be with my boyfriend. We've been dating long distance for three years. Do you think it's a good time, or should we wait for the pandemic to end?

[17:18] Stephen Hanna: I mean, personally, if you're going from New York to Seattle, these are like two of the worst hit cities in America for the pandemic.

[17:26] Bret Shuford: Yeah. I would say, like, tell your boyfriend to meet you somewhere in the middle. Maybe um North Dakota. I don't know who who has a who has a low rate.

[17:33] Stephen Hanna: I don't know.

[17:37] Bret Shuford: A low any of the Dakota rate.

[17:40] Stephen Hanna: I don't know.

[17:40] Bret Shuford: Not a Montana.

[17:41] Stephen Hanna: Not a low interest rate, a low COVID rate.

[17:43] Bret Shuford: Montana would be pretty. Maybe Montana. Um yeah, I mean, I feel like maybe now is not the best time, but like I also feel like if you have like plans in motion and you've already kind of like got the ball rolling by either like buying a house or already renting an apartment or you have a job that I'm I guess that doesn't make sense, but because I feel like everything would be online. So I don't know, but I would say I guess now is probably not the best bet. Like maybe wait a month or two and like see where we're at in this whole like craziness that's going on, and you know, because right now it feels like there's still like not a lot of answers, and especially if you're going from one hot zone to the other hot zone, maybe it's not the best idea right now.

[18:28] Stephen Hanna: Also, like I mean, unless you have a job and I just feel like moving right now until everything is really back online. Because like who knows what's gonna happen to the economy, like honestly. And you're gonna move to a city where like what are the jobs you're gonna have? What is your boyfriend's job gonna be? There's just so much stuff in the air, up in the air, that I just wonder if like it might be better to just wait, unless you're like you know this is the one, you want to be together, and you're willing to like you just take the risk of like a like we have a friend who was in wicked with me who drove across the country to uh get home to LA, and she ended up getting like she stayed, I think it took her four days, and she stayed at like two different hotels, and then she got away and got COVID, yeah.

And so you're just risking a lot, I think, by doing that, and if you're willing to risk it because you love him, then I'd say go for it. But yeah, but maybe you can consider relocating somewhere else together. Um I don't know. It's so hard to say. I think you should do you, and you probably know what that is. But if you're second guessing it, then just wait. Just wait.

[19:46] Bret Shuford: What would you have done? If we had been dating, and let's say, like so we started dating, I went to Denver, right? And Denver was like in April. Okay. So let's say that the shutdown happened. I was in Denver, you were New York. What would you have done?

[20:09] Stephen Hanna: Well, so it was it before I went to Denver. I don't remember.

[20:15] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I guess so. So like in the state already, you know, like we like we have friends who are in Toronto with Hamilton. And they're and they flew up to be together because they had already paid for their housing.

[20:27] Stephen Hanna: Oh yeah. What would you have wanted to do? Like, I don't know. I mean, I I mean, I know that we probably would have talked on the phone a lot because we did at that time. So, like, I think that it might end up just us trying to get together somewhere. I don't know, but yeah, yeah. Would you have stayed in New York, you think?

[20:50] Bret Shuford: No, yeah, absolutely not.

[20:52] Stephen Hanna: Right. I would have left.

[20:54] Bret Shuford: Yeah. Which we did. Yeah. It's so interesting, right? I would have not stayed, like, whether I was with you or by myself, I would have probably left around the same time that I did. So our poor New York City, man, it is just being really ravaged by this thing because there's just no way, like with them shutting Broadway down until September 6th, or longer.

[21:17] Stephen Hanna: Or longer, yeah, that the city's gonna bounce back too quick, right?

[21:22] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I mean, it will, it's just gonna take time. And you know, tomorrow is not tomorrow. Oh my god, Friday. I keep thinking tomorrow is Friday, and totally Wednesday. I've done this like three times today, anyways.

[21:39] Stephen Hanna: So on Friday, certain counties like upstate are gonna start opening things in New York. So that's positive. And you know, we'll see what happens, and hopefully everyone will continue to be safe, and there won't be like crazy breakouts, and um, you know, I just hope for the best. I mean, that's all we can do right now, and do our part, stay in, wash your hands, try and figure out new ways to um create income. That's like kind of what's happening.

[22:17] Bret Shuford: Yeah, and um, so if you're I would say, like, if you won't have a job and your boyfriend's in Seattle, just go be with the people you love.

[22:27] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I guess that's what I would have said.

[22:29] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I think you should go. I don't know. I don't know over. Maybe not, I don't know. I tell you what, if we take for granted how nice it is to not be together, be alone, yeah. And we shouldn't take that for granted. I think it's probably really hard for some people who are by themselves and by themselves in New York City would be really tough. So go meet them, go be with them, but be careful, safe, clean, wash everything all the time. You can't be too clean.

[22:58] Stephen Hanna: Nope.

[23:00] Bret Shuford: So, Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean. Well, thank you for writing in. If you want some relationship advice from us that's completely unqualified, shoot us a DM on Instagram at BroadwayHusbands or check out our website, BroadwayHusbands.com, and you can shoot us an email there. Plus, we have lots of goodies coming to the website, some blogs coming soon. So we want to have fun fun. Yeah. So join our email list so that you don't miss a thing. And don't forget to love who you love and love what you do.