This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:06] Bret Shuford: Hey, I'm Bret.

[0:07] Stephen Hanna: And I'm Steven.

[0:07] Bret Shuford: And we are the Broadway Husbands.

[0:10] Stephen Hanna: We're just your all-American married couple making their living in the arts and pursuing a growing family.

[0:15] Bret Shuford: On the Broadway Husbands podcast, we offer advice from our ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances.

[0:20] Stephen Hanna: We are living proof that you can love who you love and love what you do.

[0:24] Bret Shuford: Make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss our weekly episodes.

[0:27] Stephen Hanna: And if you really love us, make sure you leave a review on whatever podcast platform you listen to us on.

[0:33] Bret Shuford: Take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands.

[0:37] Stephen Hanna: Members of our Patreon get exclusive access to behind the scenes videos, blogs, and other perks, including free apparel and so much more.

[0:45] Bret Shuford: To become part of our Patreon family, go to Patreon.com forward slash Broadway Husbands.

[0:51] Stephen Hanna: Well, good morning.

[0:53] Bret Shuford: Good morning.

[0:54] Stephen Hanna: It's morning here.

[0:55] Bret Shuford: I'm not sure when you're listening to this.

[0:57] Stephen Hanna: It is morning.

[0:58] Bret Shuford: And where are we doing this podcast episode from, Bret?

[1:01] Bret Shuford: From our new office.

[1:02] Stephen Hanna: What?

[1:03] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[1:03] Stephen Hanna: It feels really like back in a podcast studio type setting, right?

[1:08] Bret Shuford: Well, it kind of is, yeah.

[1:09] Stephen Hanna: We have.

[1:10] Bret Shuford: Well, I mean, we don't have the luck of having Alan Seales here.

[1:15] Stephen Hanna: No.

[1:15] Bret Shuford: Brittany.

[1:16] Stephen Hanna: Um, but we are um trying to figure out how to set this up a little bit better.

[1:23] Bret Shuford: I have two microphones, but then I couldn't figure out how to get them both to work.

[1:28] Stephen Hanna: So we're now just using the same one we've been using.

[1:31] Bret Shuford: But hey, it feels more it feels more official because we are sitting at a table in a separate room or a desk, not a table.

[1:40] Stephen Hanna: Um, but it feels really like oh like official, like we're uh really recording a podcast.

[1:45] Bret Shuford: Sometimes we we've like recorded some podcasts like while laying on our bed or sitting on the floor, or in various places, and this feels a little bit more like oh, we're going to record a podcast.

[1:59] Stephen Hanna: We haven't recorded a podcast since we announced we were moving into a house.

[2:05] Bret Shuford: Yeah, that's right.

[2:06] Stephen Hanna: Right.

[2:07] Bret Shuford: I mean, I think we did one just kind of the last one, which was about uh one year into the pandemic, but we actually closed on our house last week and moved in.

[2:19] Stephen Hanna: And I I feel like actually like that could be a really good topic for today's conversation.

[2:27] Bret Shuford: Yeah, let's actually talk through the course of closing on our house and moving, because let me just tell you it was so dramatic for a good two or three weeks.

[2:43] Stephen Hanna: Um, for us.

[2:44] Bret Shuford: It was a real nail biter.

[2:46] Stephen Hanna: I would call it a nail biter.

[2:48] Bret Shuford: It felt like at every turn there may have maybe something going wrong, or I don't know.

[2:56] Stephen Hanna: It just felt very like it felt like the floor was gonna fall out from beneath me or us the whole time.

[3:03] Bret Shuford: Yeah, it really was it really was stressful, and our um our parents lost their dog in the middle of it, and that was really traumatic.

[3:12] Stephen Hanna: And well, then why don't we start there?

[3:14] Bret Shuford: Let's let's start at the that day.

[3:17] Stephen Hanna: Well, let's just say, okay, so we knew we were gonna close on our house.

[3:23] Bret Shuford: They kept saying at the end of March.

[3:25] Stephen Hanna: So we told landing who we had our rental through that we would be moving out at the end of March.

[3:31] Bret Shuford: So we had this sort of like pressure of where where are we gonna live, you know, on top of like but we we assumed we would be closing before the first, and so we would be able to like have time to do that.

[3:46] Stephen Hanna: And also because if even if it wasn't by the end of the month, it would be very early in April.

[3:52] Bret Shuford: So we just didn't really want to have to pay another month's rent, and you know, we're really optimistic, and you know, because really the whole and yeah, we got this question a lot on Instagram.

[4:03] Stephen Hanna: People saying, Well, are you going back to New York?

[4:05] Bret Shuford: Well, we don't know, like we're just stick to keeping it, you know, one day at a time.

[4:11] Stephen Hanna: But um, but the thing, the reason why you know we really wanted to invest in that piece of property is because we could have space and it would actually be cheaper than what we were paying.

[4:22] Bret Shuford: And really, for us, with the goal of starting a family, we gotta try to save up as much money as we can.

[4:28] Stephen Hanna: So that was really the intention behind it.

[4:32] Bret Shuford: And so paying another month's rent when we were gonna close on our house just felt like a priority.

[4:38] Stephen Hanna: Well, of course, of course, but I'm just explaining, and I'm explaining like the the money situation, like why we needed to save.

[4:48] Bret Shuford: So we were getting closer to the end of the month, and we were supposed to close on like the 26th or something, the Friday, and then they the lender said we're not ready to close, and we were like, Oh my god, like okay.

[5:02] Stephen Hanna: The movers had picked up our stuff out of storage like the Saturday before.

[5:07] Bret Shuford: So it was already in transit, and I think I'm not sure how they do it, like if they take it and then put it in a warehouse, and then it sits until they decide to deliver it, and then it it comes straight off or out of the warehouse uh in transit to the destination.

[5:25] Stephen Hanna: I think that's probably what they do.

[5:36] Bret Shuford: So by this point, I think no, actually, we had no word.

[5:42] Stephen Hanna: So it was probably still in the warehouse, but like we weren't sure.

[5:47] Bret Shuford: You know what I mean?

[5:48] Stephen Hanna: Yep.

[5:51] Bret Shuford: So that felt fine because they were like, oh, well, we'll call you, and you'll know, like, two to three days before it's delivered.

[5:58] Stephen Hanna: So I felt like we were safe with the moving thing for the time being.

[6:03] Bret Shuford: Um, because we hadn't heard anything yet.

[6:07] Stephen Hanna: And and it usually they give you like a two and a half week window from the time that they pick it up.

[6:13] Bret Shuford: And I would assume that they would air on closer to two and a half weeks than one week with a move, moving things from New York to Texas.

[6:23] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[6:24] Bret Shuford: So we didn't close on that Friday, and then my parents called us on Sunday, right?

[6:32] Stephen Hanna: Was it that Sunday?

[6:33] Bret Shuford: Or was it the Sunday?

[6:34] Stephen Hanna: It was the Sunday before.

[6:36] Bret Shuford: So we were in the middle of like the movers picked up our stuff on Saturday.

[6:40] Stephen Hanna: The next day, my parents called and their little dog Hallie, who we dog sat a lot since we've been here.

[6:49] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I think like three times in the she's so cute, little Yorky Pooh.

[6:54] Stephen Hanna: Sweet as she got she got a great dame, came out of nowhere in the front yard, picked her up, thought she was a toy, and threw her around, and she didn't make it.

[7:04] Bret Shuford: And it was such a sad day.

[7:06] Stephen Hanna: And my dad was just distraught, and it was just very traumatic.

[7:09] Bret Shuford: Well, it was really traumatic.

[7:11] Stephen Hanna: Like, we went to meet them.

[7:12] Bret Shuford: They were trying to like save her, and they took her to a vet or a dog hospital.

[7:17] Stephen Hanna: And it was actually right by our apartment.

[7:20] Bret Shuford: And we went to see them.

[7:21] Stephen Hanna: You know, Bret's dad had blood on his clothes, in the car, blood in the car.

[7:28] Bret Shuford: And they were just obviously in traumatized and shock.

[7:31] Stephen Hanna: And so they dropped her off for what they were hoping would be some sort of surgery.

[7:36] Bret Shuford: We had all these plans to make content that day, and we just canceled everything and just drove them around to try to distract them.

[7:41] Stephen Hanna: And so we took them to lunch, lunch, a cute little country town.

[7:45] Bret Shuford: We brought them to the house.

[7:46] Stephen Hanna: We're like, look at our house.

[7:47] Bret Shuford: Like we're trying to just cheer them up, trying to keep them from being too stressed out about it.

[7:54] Stephen Hanna: So we were very stressed, very, very, very stressed.

[7:59] Bret Shuford: And then the next week, we found out we weren't gonna close, and then that just added to the stress because then we were like, okay, well, what if we don't close before the end of the month?

[8:09] Stephen Hanna: All our stuff here, all of our stuff is on its way here.

[8:12] Bret Shuford: If we don't close before the truck gets here, where are we gonna put our stuff?

[8:16] Stephen Hanna: We had to start thinking about solutions on top of that.

[8:19] Bret Shuford: I was trying to coach and I'm building a course and Steven's teaching, and yeah, like the teaching online, and then even like you know, I obviously go to work, and through all of this, going to work was I mean, once I was there, it was obviously fine, but it was even more exhausting than normal because I would come home and then not be able to relax or or just take those moments that you need to get through the day because like our stuff was everywhere, you know.

[8:52] Stephen Hanna: Um in the house, we were having to do like final walkthroughs and approvals on things in the house, and anyway, it just was like super stressful, and um, and we we're getting through that weekend since they canceled basically we were supposed to close on Friday, they canceled on like Wednesday, and so then Friday we knew nothing.

[9:14] Bret Shuford: So then you know how it is, you guys know how this is when you get to like a Friday.

[9:19] Stephen Hanna: God that this is like the story of our lives as performers.

[9:23] Bret Shuford: It's like you have a callback or you know, you a final callback on a Friday, and then six o'clock hits and you haven't heard anything, and then you have to like get through the week the whole weekend in anticipation that you'll hear something, it's the worst.

[9:39] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, and that was exactly what was happening.

[9:41] Bret Shuford: We're like, we don't know anything, and now it's Friday, and we're not gonna hear anything until Monday.

[9:46] Stephen Hanna: But like on top of that, one of the email exchanges from the bank was hey, you know, maybe you'll close next week, but nothing's written in stone, like that was actually like an email exchange.

[10:03] Bret Shuford: So we were like, Well, what does that even mean?

[10:06] Stephen Hanna: Like, we just had no idea, and we were like, it does that mean it's gonna take two more weeks, or because all of our ducks were in a row, like, so we were super confused.

[10:14] Bret Shuford: Um, and then I think I don't remember what day of the next week, but we got word that we would close on Thursday, maybe early in the week, maybe Monday.

[10:22] Stephen Hanna: We found out we would close Thursday, so that was a relief.

[10:26] Bret Shuford: Um, but we had to move out of our landing by Wednesday at 11 a.m.

[10:31] Stephen Hanna: Like it was a earlier, earlier in the daytime.

[10:35] Bret Shuford: Um so we, and of course, when we were moving out of there, we had way more stuff than I had possibly thought.

[10:45] Stephen Hanna: Like we had all of the clothes and stuff that we brought with us, and then we had accumulated quite a quite a bit of stuff.

[10:53] Bret Shuford: So to so we packed up our car the night before and quickly realized that that wasn't enough.

[10:53] Stephen Hanna: That wasn't enough.

[11:01] Bret Shuford: And so um we had um Bret's mom come over and let us use her car.

[11:08] Stephen Hanna: She has a big SUV, and then we piled stuff in there as well, which was extremely helpful and made it a lot simpler.

[11:17] Bret Shuford: But also just total side note, my parents also that week, oh right, drove, I think out of their grief, they drove five hours each way to Louisiana to pick up not one, but two new Yorkie Pooh puppies.

[11:37] Stephen Hanna: They're so cute.

[11:38] Bret Shuford: And one is supposedly from my brother Eric, you know, who's on the spectrum and lives with my parents.

[11:45] Stephen Hanna: But um, but it's turning out to be like my mom and dad's dogs.

[11:51] Bret Shuford: Is it you think totally?

[11:52] Stephen Hanna: I mean, basically, I mean they're in control of it, yeah.

[11:55] Bret Shuford: Um, so you know, they're in their 70s and they're chasing these puppies around. And I just I'm worried for them. Uh anyway, so we didn't have okay, let's just kind of cut to the closing.

[12:02] Stephen Hanna: So we didn't have uh any solid solid, like, okay, we're gonna we're definitely closing. It was like, okay, it's scheduled for Thursday if everything is there.

[12:20] Bret Shuford: Right. So I was like every day, I'm not even kidding. I'm this is how persistent I am calling them and kind of annoying them and being like, what's happening? What do you need? How do I get the paperwork to you? What do you need? And basically begging people to do their job, it felt like that's what it felt like.

[12:37] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, it's like take our money.

[12:39] Bret Shuford: Um so we got to the closing, and the way it is, it's very different closing on a house in Texas than it is in New York because in New York there's a lot more people involved, it feels like you have a lawyer, and maybe that's just because we have yeah, also like you don't own the land, so that title we had a work with a title company because we're buying land.

[13:03] Stephen Hanna: Oh, right.

[13:03] Bret Shuford: I never even thought of that. Yeah, that's why it was so different. I was like, why is this the land title?

[13:07] Stephen Hanna: Well, yeah, because and also we had the lawyer, and we also had a real estate agent.

[13:11] Bret Shuford: We didn't use a real estate agent, which probably in hindsight, maybe we should have may have been helpful. Um we got to the title company, which just felt super it felt like because of the way new construction works, and I have a lot of guilt around the new construction because of the way that it just like it just it's beautiful and it's so nice and new, but like the what they have to do to order in order to build these like mega communities is just destroy habitat, and so I have a lot of guilt around it. I'm working through it.

[13:50] Stephen Hanna: Um and so we go to this place, and it's like this huge office building, huge, and like Texas huge. I felt like we were being like shepherded. Like it w didn't even feel like they were nerd, like they didn't even really know our names. It felt like they just were it looked so it's filling in the blanks.

[14:11] Bret Shuford: Yeah, it felt like when we got there, they had probably maybe just looked at our paperwork at 9:30. We were supposed to start at 10. They didn't come out to get us till like I was checking my clock, like 10:03 or 10:05. It was a very like Broadway show, 8:05 start.

[14:29] Stephen Hanna: Um, but I was we were very unhappy with the way the closing went and the way the title company treated us. And they tried to throw our lender under the bus, the actors credit union, and I kind of we both kind of lost it.

[14:48] Bret Shuford: I I kind of went off.

[14:50] Stephen Hanna: We did because it was it was ridiculous because we were there, right? So you know how like and I tend to be like pretty I we were very friendly people and like we were being so friendly while signing all the documents, making jokes, like just plain keeping it very lighthearted until they just didn't have everything.

[15:08] Bret Shuford: They didn't have everything and they actually would leave and check to see if you know they were getting back what they needed from the lender. And at one point, I think where I lost it was when they were like, Well, maybe you could call your lender and see what you can do, or something like something along those lines, like basically like, Well, we can't get them to work any faster, maybe you can. But meanwhile, the reason why is because the the document wasn't ready because they made a change like 30 minutes before um we were to close.

[15:42] Stephen Hanna: And our, you know, it's it was just ridiculous.

[15:45] Bret Shuford: It was it was totally ridiculous, you know. Unbelievable that we were sitting in their office, and the guy comes in and he's like, Well, your lender, we made minor adjustments this morning. And I was able to change that so quickly. I said it's not a minor adjustment the morning of closing. Like this is this is we are here in your office.

[16:03] Stephen Hanna: Yeah.

[16:04] Bret Shuford: So anyway, we it took a lot to get to the closing. And then and also I was so there, also was always a time crunch. Stephen had to go teach.

[16:13] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I had to teach at 11:30.

[16:15] Bret Shuford: The closing was at 10, and we were like pretty, you know, at least 25 minutes from where I needed to be. So I was like, I need to be in the car by 11, which I kind of had a feeling it wouldn't work out that way. And of course it didn't. I was able to um, you know, just tell work I was gonna be 30 minutes late, and um, which sucked, but you know, that's the way it was.

[16:38] Stephen Hanna: And even when I did leave, whatever there was one form that I signed that wasn't even really the final document. They were like, just sign this and we'll change it once we get it. Um so when I left, it felt like you normally not normally, the other time that we bought something, it was like, oh my god. There was also a lot of fear around the first purchase, but for other reasons. But we were like, Oh my god, this is so awesome. We bought our first home, you know. And because we were so frustrated, the woman was like, Congratulations, you bought a home. We were like, Great, thanks. Because she was just it was felt so unofficial because they hadn't finished everything. It was really frustrating, it was so bizarre and stressful, and then we couldn't even get the keys.

[17:20] Bret Shuford: Yeah, because we can't get the keys until the money is wired into their account.

[17:27] Stephen Hanna: So we didn't have the keys. We did all of that, and we still didn't have the keys, so we had to spend two nights. We spent the second night at my parents' house. And then and then we woke up Friday morning and we both started calling and emailing, probably at like 7:30 a.m. to see what's happening. Many of them had gone through. And luckily, you know, before 10 a.m., I want to say it was before 10. We found out that you know everything had gone through and we could go get the keys.

[17:53] Bret Shuford: So it was a relief because the moving truck. The moving truck was supposed to come.

[17:59] Stephen Hanna: On Saturday.

[17:59] Bret Shuford: Yeah, on Saturday. The refrigerator is supposed to come. This was Friday. All these things were already set up. It was on Good Friday. And the title company said that they were closed on Good Friday because of the holiday.

[18:12] Stephen Hanna: So there was all of this stuff happening, but the movers were coming in Saturday. The title company is closed on Friday. If we don't get our keys, what are we gonna do with our stuff?

[18:22] Bret Shuford: Yeah. Because then it's like then you think about, well, how are we gonna then that's gonna be another fee to put it somewhere, then another fee to get it? You know, you just start thinking about and it's just anyway.

[18:34] Stephen Hanna: So we luckily Friday morning were able to get them to get us the keys, and the movers came on Saturday, and we got everything moved in, and it's not even been a week, right?

[18:48] Bret Shuford: It's been because today's Thursday. It's been so it's not even been a few days since we've been in our new house, and it feels feels good. Really good.

[18:57] Stephen Hanna: It does feel really good. It gets a lot of light in the morning, so much light.

[19:01] Bret Shuford: So and all and all this to say is like I don't want to to seem like maybe like we're complaining about the how hard it was. I it's not that, it's just like there's always like a lot of bumps in the road, right? Like I feel like sometimes my expectations are like thinking everything's just gonna be so easy breezy and smooth, and um go according to the plan and it's it's hard to always meet the challenges, whatever big or small they may be, and kind of like take them calmly and move through them.

[19:44] Stephen Hanna: Um, especially when it feels like people just aren't kind of doing what maybe they're being paid to do. I don't know. It feels very it feels very strange.

[19:54] Bret Shuford: I would I would say do not use the company we used. If you are buying a house in Texas, but don't we will just reach out to us and we'll tell you who not to use.

[20:07] Stephen Hanna: Um the actors credit union were awesome, and they always are. You know, they're small, it's a credit union, so they're not you know, they're not Bank of America. They're you know, there's only like two people that work there in the lending department, so they were very patient and very sweet.

[20:25] Bret Shuford: But you're right. I mean, there is something about expectations and just you know, and we always know that. I think we both it's kind of interesting. You you run this balance as a performer and all these years of doing what we do, you learn how to balance your expectations in reality, but it also like you also kind of always have this bit of a cynical, yeah.

[20:53] Stephen Hanna: It you don't trust anything until it actually happens, right? It's like I've God, how many shows have I done where it's like it's gonna transfer to Broadway, and then it never does, right? It's like so you just learn, like, yeah, I'll believe that when I see it. When I'm standing on stage on a Broadway stage, and the audience is applauding, is when I'll be like, okay, we made it to Broadway.

[21:13] Bret Shuford: Well, well, also I think so. I think there's that part, so it's like this dual duality, right? It's like there's that um understanding of like, you know, maybe things aren't gonna happen until they happen and all of that.

[21:26] Stephen Hanna: But then there's also this part, at least for myself, is that sometimes I'm so optimistic, right? And obviously, positive and want things to happen that I'm like, well, everything, you know, because that's why I was well, everything's gonna happen, everything's gonna work out, and and so that then when there are these small kinks, sometimes like I just am like, whoa, like it kind of throws me, you know.

[21:50] Bret Shuford: And so, like getting through those things, um, like thank god we have each other, and then there are times where I think we probably are like, uh, you know, freaking out.

[21:59] Stephen Hanna: We definitely I I will say this, and I'll say this on record here.

[22:06] Bret Shuford: Oh no, I know that I've not been the nicest, and I apologize.

[22:12] Stephen Hanna: Um I I'm not managing my stress that well, and I think part of it is just a time, yeah.

[22:21] Bret Shuford: I mean, on top of all of this, I'm also trying to launch a course that I'm teaching in May, and like I'm teaching starting the webinar next week, it's like next week already, and I'm so behind because of all of this, and it just overwhelms me because you know, I feel like sometimes running my own business, I no, I feel like no one around me understands that like if I don't show up, it doesn't happen, the business doesn't run.

[22:50] Stephen Hanna: Right.

[22:50] Bret Shuford: And if I'm not doing shit, then nothing's getting done. It's not like somebody else is picking up the pieces or teaching another class or doing something else. Like, like no. If I'm not there, it doesn't happen. And the last few weeks, I've not been there because of all of the chaos. So I just feel totally overwhelmed. And um well, the good news is and so I apologize. Well, thank you. And I love it. I'm giving lots of excuses, but I apologize. Thank you. And I think that learning how to manage my stress during I it's something I need to work on during the last couple weeks. I mean, I do think there's these were extraordinary circumstances. But well, now that we're in here, I think I feel better. Don't you?

[23:32] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, I mean, well, it's seem better because I have an office.

[23:36] Bret Shuford: Because he has an office.

[23:37] Stephen Hanna: Well, it's our office, but I don't know how much work I'll actually be doing in here except just kind of annoying Brett and trying to get his attention.

[23:44] Bret Shuford: But recording podcasts.

[23:45] Stephen Hanna: Recording podcasts. And um, but it's so nice in here, and it's very, you know, it's all set up. So now when we're done for the day, now you can go and do all of your work. So uh maybe that's what we're gonna title this is managing expectations.

[24:03] Bret Shuford: Managing expectations. I feel like it's you know, it's interesting too, right? Especially after living through this pandemic, right? Like, how do I expect anything sometimes? Like, why do I even expect it's like when people keep saying, like, are you coming back to Broadway? It's like, I don't know. I can't, I there is no Broadway right now, so I can't I'm not gonna set any expectations around that until it happens, right? Because I gotta live my life, yeah.

[24:34] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, that has to be priority number one is just how do I make my life livable in this moment? And that being said, uh, I think for spotlight on love today, I'm gonna ask you to help me.

[24:51] Bret Shuford: What's what?

[24:52] Stephen Hanna: I need advice.

[24:53] Bret Shuford: No, what's your don't do this to me.

[24:56] Stephen Hanna: Why?

[24:57] Bret Shuford: Okay, tell me.

[24:58] Stephen Hanna: Okay. So a little story. No, talking about managing expectations. I was all excited about buying this house because it feels like such a fresh new start. It feels like, you know, we're kind of in this pioneer, right? We're like we've we own land and we have a house and we can run our business out of it and uh you know start a family and blah blah blah. So I've had all this like fresh start ideas in my head. Okay, and then I find out that my childhood buddy who lived down the street, his name was Justin Britton. He was definitely he was like two or three years younger than me, but definitely like you know, we were the little gay boys in the neighborhood growing up, and we became close because we go we both got made fun of in school, so we would just like hang out together after school and just be whatever we wanted to be.

We would decorate each other's houses for Christmas and Easter, and God, I can't imagine what our parents thought of it. And um he was very eccentric. He when we were young, he was battling leukemia, and so I remember he had to wear hats a lot, he didn't have any hair and from the chemo, and anyway. Come to find out on Facebook last week when we posted that we were moving, he was like, Where are you moving to? And I said, you know, Imperial Oaks or whatever. And he's like, Oh, my parents and my sister live in that neighborhood. Turns out his parents live literally like two streets over. And it like the emotional, like the I just kind of went into this weird, I don't know, it's like there's this ego part of me that has always been attached to the idea of not living in Texas because it's so it's gonna sound so gross, but it was like as a kid, I was always like, I'm special, like I want to be better than that.

I want to be in New York City and I want to be big and I want to, and then like to there was this, there has always been this little part of like moving back to Texas where I was like, oh like getting a house in Texas means I've given up on that or something, which is BS. I know that because like we had a I've had a really good career and it's not over, but um, but there's still that little ego part, and yet having these neighbors nearby feels super like I liked the ice, like the idea that we were gonna have all this space and no one's gonna know us, and like we're gonna be like special, and now I'm like, well no, actually, I've just now completely gone full circle. I now live down the street from the Britons.

[27:57] Stephen Hanna: So what's your question?

[28:00] Bret Shuford: How do I how do I manage my expectations around this? Because how do I look at this differently? Because I feel like I'm I'm kind of disappointed in that. Like it feels like it took it took the kind of shininess and newness of living over here away in a in a way. And I don't know if this I there's a different way to look at it.

[28:26] Stephen Hanna: Well, I mean, I think they're I think them and I met them, you know, we went over to their house and they're so sweet and so nice. And I I think there's something actually really nice that we know that you know somebody and have history with somebody that you know, I think the good thing about it is that they live really close and we actually know them, right? So there's like a level of trust there, and so there's somebody that you we can really reach out to if we need help, and um, but as far as the like I mean, they have nothing to do with it, you know, they have nothing to do with us getting a house here or anywhere, like they would still exist, you know what I mean? If even if we had a house or another apartment in New York City, it would still be like a similar thing, like right, like they're just closer to us and they're nice people who are very giving.

And I think as long as you know, as long as we're you know, I I think it's nice to just have people that we know. I honestly don't I mean, but the ego thing I understand, but I guess it's easier for me to say because they're not people that I have to do with.

[29:47] Bret Shuford: Yeah.

[29:48] Stephen Hanna: Um, how would you have felt if we'd let's say moved to Pittsburgh?

[29:53] Bret Shuford: Right.

[29:54] Stephen Hanna: And you were all excited to get like a new place, and then you found out like two streets over was Roxanne or Nine.

[30:05] Bret Shuford: Yeah, but I don't like Roxanne.

[30:07] Stephen Hanna: I mean, not that I don't like these.

[30:08] Bret Shuford: No, but I just don't know them.

[30:09] Stephen Hanna: It just brings up old memories or um, you have to that time too. I mean, that was like the late 80s, early 90s.

[30:19] Bret Shuford: Yeah, but you gotta understand. So, Brett, you're not the same person.

[30:22] Stephen Hanna: I know.

[30:23] Bret Shuford: This is not the same time period. There's a lot of old emotions in our chat, they're just gonna have to be shed.

[30:30] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, and you also just need to create new experiences, and you already have done that.

[30:35] Bret Shuford: Yeah, you know what I mean? Like you we saw them the other night, they're lovely. That's great. Just create new experiences.

[30:41] Stephen Hanna: Just create new experiences. It's like when you get sober, you have to go through life. And the first year, you usually hit all those benchmarks of like, oh my god, this is my first birthday sober, this is my first new year's sober where I'm not drinking. That you know, you just kind of go through all those benchmarks.

[30:57] Bret Shuford: But I that's that's really creating new experiences, that's really helpful.

[31:00] Stephen Hanna: Is that helpful?

[31:01] Bret Shuford: That's great. Thank you. And also again, not to have expectations right now. Your expectations are giving you negative or emo-filled feelings, right? But if that's your expectation to be the same Brett that you were in 1990, like then that's then your expectations are gonna be not met or met. You know what I mean? So if you actually make that it up in your head, then you're gonna kind of feel that way. But if you actually recognize the truth of the reality that it's 2021 and that you're not 10 years old anymore, even though you look no, you look really good, not 10, but um, so yeah, that's really helpful.

[31:51] Stephen Hanna: I hope so. Well, this was hopefully an insightful episode for all of you. Uh we hope that you learn a little something about managing expectations and not being afraid to just stay in the moment and commit to the moment because that's what we're doing. There's nothing wrong with that. And you know, sometimes we get afraid we're gonna get stuck in a situation that doesn't exist. And right now we're you know, we're really happy that we continue to move forward with this process.

[32:24] Bret Shuford: We had nothing to lose.

[32:25] Stephen Hanna: No, and also feels like I know this is really weird, but I always just imagined us sitting in places where it's really bright, and this whole house is really bright, even in this room is I would say one of the darker rooms, and it's really bright. We're gonna be making a lot more dance reels in this house.

[32:42] Bret Shuford: There's so much more space, so much more space.

[32:44] Stephen Hanna: So, yeah, it's all really good.

[32:46] Bret Shuford: Yeah, thanks for listening to the Broadway Husbands Podcast. Don't forget to subscribe, and while you're at it, leave a review on whatever podcast platform you listen to us on. Don't forget to check out Broadway Life Apparel and our new designs that are released every month. Thanks to our Patreon patrons. Don't forget to join our family by going to Patreon.com forward slash Broadway Husbands. And a big shout out to the Broadway Podcast Network. Go to bpn.fm forward slash husbands to check out the wide array of Broadway-themed podcasts for your listening pleasure.

[33:18] Stephen Hanna: And on this podcast, we encourage you to love who you love and love what you do.