This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:06] Bret Shuford: Hey, I'm Bret, and I'm Stephen, and we are the Broadway Husbands.

[0:10] Stephen Hanna: We're just your all-American married couple making their living in the arts and pursuing a growing family.

[0:14] Bret Shuford: On the Broadway Husbands podcast, we offer advice from our ordinary lives under extraordinary circumstances.

[0:20] Stephen Hanna: We are living proof that you can love who you love and love what you do.

[0:24] Bret Shuford: Make sure you subscribe to our podcast so you don't miss our weekly episodes.

[0:27] Stephen Hanna: And if you really love us, make sure you leave a review on whatever podcast platform you listen to us on.

[0:32] Bret Shuford: Take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram at Broadway Husbands.

[0:37] Stephen Hanna: Members of our Patreon get exclusive access to behind the scenes videos, blogs, and other perks, including free apparel and so much more.

[0:45] Bret Shuford: To become part of our Patreon family, go to Patreon.com forward slash Broadway Husbands.

[0:51] Stephen Hanna: All right.

[0:52] Bret Shuford: Hello, listeners. Welcome to another episode.

[0:55] Stephen Hanna: We are so excited. We actually have guests this week.

[0:58] Bret Shuford: Uh, it's been a while since we've had a guest.

[1:00] Stephen Hanna: It has been a while.

[1:01] Bret Shuford: Yeah, so it's actually it's it's it's a lot of fun. I mean, I love you, and I love talking with you about all the things we talk about, but I'm so glad to have today's guests here.

[1:12] Stephen Hanna: I am too because I've followed um both of them for quite some time, and they make beautiful content online, beautiful couple, and there's a lot of really cool things happening in their lives.

[1:23] Bret Shuford: So I'm just gonna get right down to it. Welcome to the Broadway Husbands Podcast, Taylor Phillips and Jeff O'Donnell.

[1:30] Taylor Phillips: So excited to be here. Thank you so much for having us. I'm like blushing at the intro. So thank you.

[1:38] Jeff O’Donnell: Yes. Nice to be here. Thanks for having us.

[1:43] Bret Shuford: Yeah, well, I see that you're you're in your new home. So you've when did you purchase this new home that you've been renovating and now you just put in a pool? Talk what what's this this beautiful place that you're in?

[1:56] Taylor Phillips: Yeah. Okay, so um, I guess we we weren't really looking for a new place. But um you know over the summer when we couldn't really like travel far, um, we like were introduced to this town um by your best friend. Um so we came and visited all summer, fell in love with it and like happened to come across this little house that was like a perfect fit for us. Um and we were like really itching for a fun quarantine project at the time and we said why not buy it and fix it up and and honestly it's been like the most rewarding thing to have something to do when we don't have a ton of other stuff to do. Like we can't travel we can't you know go to big events you guys know. So yeah. So we we put we bought the house we put in our offer um end of October or we put in an offer in September. We closed on the house October 30th renovations started through us October 31st started with our contractor on um December 7th and then we moved in on March 15th.

[3:07] Jeff O’Donnell: So it's been quite the very quick wild ride um the longest and shortest process.

[3:15] Taylor Phillips: Yeah it's it's been it has been a true whirlwind and everything people say about renovations is true plus some that it's gonna be more expensive than you expect and that it's gonna maybe that's the only thing I know that people say but that part is true.

[3:33] Jeff O’Donnell: But we we've had such a great time renovating it.

[3:35] Taylor Phillips: And it has been it has been such a cool experience to watch our ideas come to fruition in such a large scale. We we did all everything ourselves. We did the architectural plans. We obviously had a professional draw them up, but they were our ideas. We picked all the finishes. We had, you know, so this is our our baby. Um and to watch it come to life at this grand of a scale has been a very, very wild experience.

[4:06] Bret Shuford: Yeah. Well, congratulations. Well, before we like uh like well, we I want to say, do you have an apartment? You got rid of your apartment in the city. So what has the adjustment been like just to be out in the suburbs or out out in wherever you are that's not in New York City? How is the adjustment?

[4:22] Taylor Phillips: It's nice. I'll first start by saying it's so funny that we share so much, like that. You know that we gave up our apartment because I vocally put our entire lives online.

[4:32] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[4:33] Taylor Phillips: Um, but it I personally have not thought about the city once because also the city doesn't exist the way that we all know and love it as well. Um I've gone back, I try to go back once a week for a few things, and when I have gone back, it's it's just not the place that we fell in love with in the first place. So the adjustment for us has been fairly easy because we don't feel like we're missing out, we don't have that FOMO, but also, you know, we wake up um to the sound of the birds chirping and the sun coming in, and we go on a walk to the water with our dog. And so it's just it's it's been it's also like the little things for me, like some of the biggest aha moments are like going to a grocery store and like the size of the shopping carts.

[5:17] Jeff O’Donnell: Like being able to like put like I could fit you in that cart. Whereas it's like you know, a Whole Foods like double tier, you can fit like two carton of eggs, and that's it.

[5:28] Taylor Phillips: Um also like being able to put a pot in the sink, and like also maybe some glasses, and I don't have to like do the dishes immediately following a meal because there's enough room.

[5:41] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[5:41] Taylor Phillips: Um it's like the little country moments.

[5:45] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah. It's a weird, it's a weird adjustment because it's it's like uh it's it truly is a totally different world. It's it's the little things that are so you don't realize you miss in the city, um, that you come out into the uh quote unquote suburbia and it's like oh I have a sink that I can have a garbage disposal.

[6:06] Taylor Phillips: So hot topic, hot topic.

[6:08] Jeff O’Donnell: So we don't have the garbage disposal because the town that we live in is all there's no central sewer system, so it's everyone's on septic tanks.

[6:17] Taylor Phillips: Um which we won't get into with that.

[6:20] Jeff O’Donnell: Right, right, right. That's a different episode.

[6:22] Taylor Phillips: That's like an extra podcast, but it's um, yeah, so it's it's no garbage disposal is what I'm trying to say.

[6:29] Jeff O’Donnell: We bought we bought one, yeah.

[6:31] Taylor Phillips: So if you need one for your place, let us know.

[6:35] Jeff O’Donnell: If you bought it, you can install it because it's um just a different different system.

[6:41] Bret Shuford: Yeah, I feel like we're on I feel like we're on like a a summer vacation.

[6:46] Taylor Phillips: Yeah.

[6:47] Bret Shuford: And because like we have every intent to go back to New York City, like once Broadway's back, that's like how I really think the city's gonna come alive again.

[6:57] Stephen Hanna: Um, so it this just feels like a like a school summer vacation that we're just away at camp or something.

[7:04] Taylor Phillips: Sure.

[7:05] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, yeah.

[7:05] Taylor Phillips: I keep saying I keep saying I feel like I'm playing hooky from my life.

[7:09] Bret Shuford: Yeah, no, that I mean that's how I feel too. It feels like because I feel I I grew up in the Midwest. I'm from Indiana. So when I grew when I when I was growing up I never had this idea of living this city life because I never actually left home until I was 17.

[7:24] Stephen Hanna: Right.

[7:24] Taylor Phillips: So I never I always grew up with this idea of living in a home and making a home and being very very that and now that that's here the city feels like the vacation the create the cool experience like this feels like this is real life and the city is like we're fun young and cool and like we can do whatever we want in the city but this this to me this is this is home.

[7:49] Jeff O’Donnell: I feel like we feels like home it feels like we've aged 20 years.

[7:58] Taylor Phillips: I don't know like because we're growing like seedling tomato plants from scratch.

[8:03] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah I've gone full Martha Stewart. I'm like I've got my drill you can literally the drill right here I because I was doing built two beds yesterday I'm just like you know I'm living my my butch dream wait so let's go back a little bit and just tell for people who are listening who don't know who both of you are individually and then we can talk about you as a couple tell a little bit Taylor start with you tell tell our listeners a little bit about who you are and what you do.

[8:30] Taylor Phillips: Yes um well I'm Taylor I am 27 I yeah hi um I what do I do um yeah I I I moved to New York uh in 2017 to pursue a modeling career and luckily had um success there.

[8:49] Taylor Phillips: And I I that's what I started doing. Um in that time, social media was still, I mean, social media was around, so it was still popular, and everyone was sort of on Instagram or Facebook or whatever. But it was when I started seeing people making money off of Instagram for not really doing much, and I was like, well, I can do that, I can and I can do it better, and I can and you know, and I always live by this quote of be the person you needed when you were younger.

[9:21] Taylor Phillips: So when I saw the opportunity to live my life pretty openly online, um I kind of jumped out the out jumped out the opportunity because I knew there would be some kind of visibility to that.

[9:37] Taylor Phillips: And so when I was coming out and I was coming to terms with who I was, I didn't know where to look, and I didn't have anyone that I felt like I could look up to.

[9:44] Taylor Phillips: And so really what started out as I'm gonna try to make money off brand deals and see what I can do on Instagram has fully turned into a community-building platform that I'm so fortunate to make a living off of, but also to connect with people from all over the world with from different different walks of life, and um so I guess I create content now, but on the bigger picture, it's more of a uh community building that I like to do. My favorite thing in the world is connecting people with each other, whether they talk to me ever again or not. The fact that I can build relationships for other people is super impactful, I think.

[10:24] Taylor Phillips: And um, so yeah, that's sort of what I do now. Mostly I play with the dog all day and um inner drilled it.

[10:34] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, play with my drill.

[10:37] Taylor Phillips: All these euphemisms my gosh.

[10:39] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[10:41] Bret Shuford: What about Jeff? Tell what about tell tell us about your background.

[10:45] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah. So I grew up in New Jersey, so a bit different uh than Taylor. I was like always close to New York City. I had access to like you know, performing, I guess, which is how like I sort of fell in love with um like acting.

[10:59] Jeff O’Donnell: Um yeah, I was you know, I booked like my first professional acting job when I was 16. It was a Nerf gun commercial, one of my proudest moments.

[11:09] Jeff O’Donnell: Um and then you know, I like went to school in New York City.

[11:14] Jeff O’Donnell: Um I went to Fordham University.

[11:18] Jeff O’Donnell: I you're giving the long.

[11:20] Taylor Phillips: I should have I should have done better at talking about um I should have done you and you should have done me.

[11:28] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:29] Taylor Phillips: Oh yeah. Next episode.

[11:31] Jeff O’Donnell: Um, so then fast forward, I studied business, like something completely different from like performing.

[11:38] Jeff O’Donnell: Um and then met Taylor, and like Taylor was like already sort of doing this social media situation, and I was like, stop taking pictures of me.

[11:48] Taylor Phillips: Yeah, dinner, I don't know, like it was just like a very foreign concept to me.

[11:52] Jeff O’Donnell: Like Taylor, like naturally like would share much more, right?

[11:56] Taylor Phillips: Yeah, thanks for asking.

[11:58] Taylor Phillips: I I never took pictures of you.

[12:01] Jeff O’Donnell: I asked, well, no, because I knew getting into a relationship with someone who does openly share a lot of themselves online.

[12:08] Jeff O’Donnell: So when I when Taylor and I started dating, I asked him, yeah, you know, do you want to be a part of this?

[12:14] Jeff O’Donnell: And for a very long time, there was like, you know, four or five, six months before we ever even posted a photo together.

[12:22] Jeff O’Donnell: And that was because I didn't want it to, you know, I didn't want people's opinions where it didn't really matter.

[12:29] Jeff O’Donnell: Um, especially while we were still in such the early stages of figuring it out together.

[12:33] Taylor Phillips: And it is a weird, I mean I feel weird about it still sometimes today about how I share what I share.

[12:39] Taylor Phillips: And um so to bring someone else into that it was a conversation that we had.

[12:43] Jeff O’Donnell: And we we opted to hold off a bit.

[12:45] Bret Shuford: Yeah. But then Jeff, were you making content at all yourself? Or like how much were you sharing your own so you were like zero.

[12:52] Jeff O’Donnell: No like zero sharing or like what kind of sharing were you doing?

[12:56] Jeff O’Donnell: Everywhere, but I would like post like once a month of like you know.

[13:00] Taylor Phillips: Yeah the the the way a normal person uses Instagram.

[13:03] Jeff O’Donnell: Right.

[13:04] Jeff O’Donnell: An audition. You're like at an audition or you're yeah yeah.

[13:07] Taylor Phillips: Like not like daily content, but then you know what Taylor the phrase Taylor mentioned before like really resonated with me in that like you know if be someone that you could have used when you were younger um because especially like you know what I felt like when I was growing up there wasn't someone that I really was looking up to to be like I want to live a life like that and you know I well I look up to you and you know I aspire to do the same kinds of things that you know this person does.

[13:39] Jeff O’Donnell: So you know we decided if we could be that for like one person it's worth it.

[13:44] Taylor Phillips: That's what sort of brought us here today I guess.

[13:49] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[13:53] Taylor Phillips: So how did you grabbing a dog toy yeah if you guys can see chasing the dog in the background so did you meet in reality or did you know Taylor through social media before you met him in person?

[14:06] Jeff O’Donnell: This is good.

[14:07] Taylor Phillips: This is actually tell the full story because it's really crazy how three hours now it's all right.

[14:14] Jeff O’Donnell: Um so the first time we ever met in person, we didn't realize it.

[14:19] Taylor Phillips: We were at is this where you were going with?

[14:22] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, but I didn't know.

[14:23] Taylor Phillips: You saw me.

[14:24] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[14:25] Taylor Phillips: Okay.

[14:25] Taylor Phillips: So I didn't see it. I was like working a job while I was auditioning at like this men's clothing startup, like a t-shirt company, like that my friend started.

[14:34] Taylor Phillips: So we were at a trade show at the Javits Center. Um, and I was like working the booth, whatever, as one does.

[14:42] Jeff O’Donnell: And then my coworker was like, oh, there's a really cute model down at you know, this booth, um, modeling swimwear. Go take a look when you know you get a chance. So I like waltz down to where Taylor is, and I was like, you know, trying to like get his attention, catch eyes with him. He was giving me nothing. He didn't even look up at me. So I was like he was working. He was working. I'm a professional. I was working. And he worked. Um but I was like, oh, he's not cute. So because he I was upset that he wasn't even looking at me. Classic. So that was what that was like 2017.

[15:24] Taylor Phillips: Yeah.

[15:25] Jeff O’Donnell: So then, you know, fast forward to like Instagram, blah, blah, blah. I noticed him on my explore page. I was like, oh my god, this guy is so cute, whatever. Didn't do anything with it. And then he messaged me about yeah, the plot thick.

[15:42] Taylor Phillips: Oh no, I'm very, I'm like very direct and very I just had never seen him. I hadn't gotten the opportunity to see him. So I was scrolling on Instagram back when the explore page was like, you know, more like the thing.

[15:57] Jeff O’Donnell: I don't know, whatever.

[15:58] Taylor Phillips: Oh yeah.

[16:01] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[16:01] Taylor Phillips: So I was scrolling through and I see this guy, and he was wearing a black sweater, and I was like, oh, he's really cute. I'm gonna go look at his page. And so I was scrolling. Um, and I couldn't really tell if he was if he was gay, first of all. Um, let alone like that was that was really it. That's what I was looking for. And um, I'm like, you know what? I got nothing to lose. So I send a DM and I just send two two waving hand emojis, and I was like at home with my roommates that night, and a couple hours passed, and he hadn't responded. So I was like, I'm over this now, so I'm gonna unsend the message.

[16:42] Jeff O’Donnell: So I unsent the DM, which you can do if anyone who doesn't know that. This was prior to everyone knowing I I had not education. Um so then the next morning I wake up to a DM from Jeff with two waving hands.

[16:57] Taylor Phillips: So he had seen the message, but he chose not to respond. And then so we we like hit it off then and we talked that entire day. I because I had seen his profile before, like I thought it was like a spam account. I thought it was like someone using his pictures because I was like, there's only this guy's message in the oh my god.

[17:19] Jeff O’Donnell: Very sweet.

[17:20] Taylor Phillips: I was out when I saw the message, so I had to go home and do my research and make sure, you know, it was actually smart. Um yeah, we met like we we chatted that entire day. It was very like, you know, when you're first meet someone you like have a crush on your giddy, you're t you're you're texting like nonstop.

[17:40] Jeff O’Donnell: And um, so that was happening, and then that night we had cross, it was that night, right?

[17:47] Taylor Phillips: Yep.

[17:47] Jeff O’Donnell: We had cross paths um in the same neighborhood, like coincidentally, like cross literally cross paths, which is like pretty crazy.

[17:58] Taylor Phillips: Yeah.

[18:05] Jeff O’Donnell: So yeah, and then we just took it from there.

[18:09] Taylor Phillips: Yeah, it was like and end of the end of story there.

[18:13] Jeff O’Donnell: The rest is there we go. Happily in our house, or whatever you want to say.

[18:20] Bret Shuford: Well, how do you um, you know what are some of the boundaries or like rules that you kind of live by, like trying to keep balance in your relationship while also creating content and sharing so much? Like, you know, I just know for us, you know, sometimes scheduling it's crazy, like we live together, right? And we spend so much time together, but scheduling things just to the two of us is difficult.

[18:44] Stephen Hanna: So what are some of the things that you do to help your relationship stay balanced in this crazy content making life sharing stuff that you do?

[18:55] Taylor Phillips: I think we have very we have pretty differing opinions on on this um idea, so it'll be fun to talk about it. I am much more prone to sharing, um, just because I I don't know, I feel like I've not like grew up online, but we all grew up in the age of being on our computers and on our phones and and things like that.

[19:16] Jeff O’Donnell: And for the most part, my entire existence out of after college or even since college has been being shared online.

[19:25] Taylor Phillips: And so when it comes to our relationship, we obviously talk about everything before um we decide to discuss anything publicly but I am just much more likely to share our trials and tribulations with people because I think they're that's important and I think a lot of people have this idea that oh you guys are so perfect you guys are so like great I'm like dude we just like got into a bickering match over like the way the car was parked you know what I mean like it's not it's not that our relationship isn't great and amazing because it is but it's the reality that people have we are two very different people that are learning to navigate as one unit and as a family and that's difficult and I think that more people need to know that not everything is as it appears online and so we try to be we try to be pretty open but as far as like the creating content the scheduling if you have any tips let us know because we're not good at we have very different you know Jeff works full time and I do I do social media full time so I have a much more lenient schedule and Jeff has a much more uh you know nine to five schedule so trying to schedule things while also being like okay you just got off work we're not gonna film a video right when you just get off work let's spend some time together or let you relax or whatever.

[20:50] Jeff O’Donnell: So the scheduling actually is really hard and we we never force ourselves to do anything to for for content creation purposes because at the end of the day we we matter most to each other.

[21:05] Taylor Phillips: And so if if we're not in the mood or we don't have the time or whatever, then we're not gonna hit the weekly YouTube video. We're not gonna hit the Instagram post that you think needs to go up because at the end of the day, that's not what's most important.

[21:19] Jeff O’Donnell: Um, and so we try to do it when we can, and by doing that, we are as intentional as we can be, and and and as much ourselves as we can be, because no one wants to see us in bad moods on a YouTube video because it shows.

[21:38] Taylor Phillips: I wear my I wear my heart on my sleeve. So if I'm not feeling it, I'm not feeling it, and you're gonna know.

[21:43] Jeff O’Donnell: And so we avoid it.

[21:45] Taylor Phillips: He's laughing because that's like our life. We've yeah, we've done we've we've done stuff where we find where it's like we fly the cameras on, and we're like, we're doing great.

[21:55] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, there's a giant helicopter over our house right now. Sorry.

[21:58] Taylor Phillips: I was like, what's happening?

[22:00] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, wait, expand on that.

[22:03] Taylor Phillips: We're their guests.

[22:04] Jeff O’Donnell: No, but I want to hear.

[22:06] Taylor Phillips: Well, I just think that there's times where life is life is this is real life, you know. It's not like uh and I think that you're right. I think that people have a perception of social media, and and it's very easy to only show things when they're good, right?

[22:19] Jeff O’Donnell: And so we will bicker about what the topic is, like what or Steven's just gotten he, he I work from home, and so he's always coming back from work, right? He teaches ballet for like five hours, so physically and vocally, because he's been yelling, he's exhausted, and then I'm like, we need to record a podcast.

[22:38] Taylor Phillips: He's like, ah, you know.

[22:41] Jeff O’Donnell: Well, not just that, you know, it's like, or or I'll let I'll give in to the idea if he hasn't mentioned content creation, I'll just kind of like back off and I'll be like, oh, maybe he doesn't want to do something today.

[22:54] Taylor Phillips: And then, like, you know, by the end of the day, he's like, Why didn't you say something?

[22:57] Jeff O’Donnell: And I'm like, Well, I mean, you you didn't say you wanted to do it.

[23:00] Taylor Phillips: So, you know.

[23:01] Jeff O’Donnell: Literally, us.

[23:02] Taylor Phillips: And that's that's the thing is like that's why I feel it is important to share those, even though they're silly and they're whatever, and maybe they're not like this isn't gonna get liked because they're fighting.

[23:12] Jeff O’Donnell: Whatever.

[23:12] Taylor Phillips: Well, that's real life, people, okay? This is real life. This is social media is is a snippet of what we choose to share, and we all know that, and but it's still it's still hard to conceptualize that there's more behind the photo or the video.

[23:28] Jeff O’Donnell: But at the end of the day, like we we are trying to figure this out the same way anyone else does.

[23:34] Taylor Phillips: We have we do not have all the answers.

[23:36] Jeff O’Donnell: Sure, we can make photos look great and we can share what we're eating for dinner and and whatever, but like that doesn't mean that that's the only thing happening in our lives.

[23:45] Taylor Phillips: Um this is like my favorite soapbox to be on.

[23:49] Jeff O’Donnell: So I could think forever about the importance of trying to be as authentic as possible in the world of social media.

[23:57] Taylor Phillips: Um I really quickly too.

[24:01] Jeff O’Donnell: I feel like one of our fights I can remember is it was either it was either it was either a YouTube video or it maybe it was even a podcast where we started and he was like, You just do not have enough energy.

[24:14] Taylor Phillips: You have got you know, and so then we restarted it.

[24:16] Jeff O’Donnell: I mean about that is I think all I said was hey, we need more energy.

[24:20] Taylor Phillips: And his perception oh, okay.

[24:23] Jeff O’Donnell: You want more energy? All right, I'll give you more energy.

[24:26] Taylor Phillips: Like, I was so mad anyway.

[24:27] Jeff O’Donnell: Oh my gosh.

[24:28] Taylor Phillips: Enough about that.

[24:29] Jeff O’Donnell: But yeah, we do that.

[24:30] Taylor Phillips: It's a mirror.

[24:31] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, it's a mirror.

[24:32] Taylor Phillips: Um, but that's that that's the life of content creating.

[24:34] Jeff O’Donnell: Jeff, I uh what how has the experience been for you having not really been a content creator for so much?

[24:41] Taylor Phillips: Because you're I mean, I know as an actor, we want to preserve some of the mystique and you know, the the be seen as versatile and stuff like that.

[24:51] Jeff O’Donnell: Was it uncomfortable for you to kind of adopt this into your life more?

[24:56] Taylor Phillips: Yeah, because I I think also like coming from that world of like auditioning where like you're on for when you're in the room, like I had the same do you know what I'm saying?

[24:56] Jeff O’Donnell: I had the same attitude going into like filming a YouTube video or whatever we were doing.

[25:14] Taylor Phillips: There are so many videos that we've started, and I'll click record and then he'll and he'll say something, and I'm like, What whoa, like what is I doing?

[25:22] Jeff O’Donnell: I feel like I'm a pageant girl, like and I mean, obviously, we're not at this point anymore, but like in the beginning I felt like everything had to be like so well groomed and rehearsed and like perfect, and now you you'll see like we fight on camera, and we will bicker and like it it's just real, yeah.

[25:42] Taylor Phillips: So that was like the biggest hurdle for me to get over that like this isn't an audition, it's real life, it's like a glimpse into our life, and everything doesn't have to be rehearsed because life isn't a rehearsal.

[25:56] Jeff O’Donnell: Am I right?

[25:56] Taylor Phillips: Oh Broadway thing.

[25:58] Jeff O’Donnell: I don't know.

[26:00] Taylor Phillips: Isn't that in the bomb?

[26:02] Jeff O’Donnell: Oh my life tailor.

[26:06] Taylor Phillips: Wow, I'm impressed, Taylor.

[26:08] Jeff O’Donnell: See how I'm grooming him?

[26:10] Taylor Phillips: Grooming is not the right word.

[26:11] Jeff O’Donnell: I don't think isn't grooming like a bad thing, like grooming means something different.

[26:16] Taylor Phillips: Never mind.

[26:17] Jeff O’Donnell: Grooming's fine.

[26:18] Taylor Phillips: Okay.

[26:19] Jeff O’Donnell: Just like getting getting you ready, preparing you, training you in grooming.

[26:24] Taylor Phillips: Um, maybe not that.

[26:28] Jeff O’Donnell: Okay.

[26:28] Taylor Phillips: Okay.

[26:30] Bret Shuford: We no, we won't go there.

[26:32] Taylor Phillips: Wait, to talk about your wedding.

[26:33] Bret Shuford: So I know you were planning a wedding.

[26:35] Stephen Hanna: Yes.

[26:36] Bret Shuford: And was it supposed to happen during the pandemic?

[26:39] Taylor Phillips: It's been postponed.

[26:39] Jeff O’Donnell: What's happening with the wedding?

[26:41] Taylor Phillips: Oh, it's actually so we got engaged last January.

[26:45] Jeff O’Donnell: Um pre-pandemic.

[26:47] Taylor Phillips: Who proposed to who?

[26:48] Jeff O’Donnell: Whom?

[26:50] Taylor Phillips: He proposed to me.

[26:51] Jeff O’Donnell: Oh, Jeff.

[26:53] Taylor Phillips: Um, but yeah, we got engaged last January, and then even then we had planned initially, we were getting married October 2021. When the pandemic hit, we just kind of re-evaluated our idea of what we wanted our wedding to be because A, weddings are not cheap, and B, we wanted to, if we were going to spend the money, we wanted to make sure it was gonna go exactly the way that we anticipated, and there was no guarantee that that was gonna happen.

[27:27] Jeff O’Donnell: So our first option was the more, you know, posh, yeah, more upscale wedding, golf club, whatever.

[27:34] Taylor Phillips: And then we were like, why are we doing this? This isn't really us. Like, let's just like kind of rethink this, and um, I guess I shouldn't say I mean it's not a secret, I don't think.

[27:47] Jeff O’Donnell: Okay.

[27:48] Taylor Phillips: The other thing too that that this is back to the social media things, Jeff. Jeff is so funny about mentioning, like he'll he'll want to like say a brand name. He'll be like, oh, we're eating like Pop Tarts, but he's like, I'm not I'm not saying pop tarts.

[28:02] Jeff O’Donnell: He'd be like, we're eating these pastries that have like on my grave.

[28:07] Taylor Phillips: I'm like, wait, you can say Pop Tarts, it's okay.

[28:09] Jeff O’Donnell: That's not true.

[28:09] Taylor Phillips: I was gonna say where we're gonna get it.

[28:11] Jeff O’Donnell: It's just it's more meaningful.

[28:13] Taylor Phillips: It's it's a lot, it's yeah, it's so we we totally changed the vibe from this like black tie like mansion wedding to a black tie wedding.

[28:24] Jeff O’Donnell: Um that's some something that was just more us and had more meaning to us.

[28:29] Taylor Phillips: So yeah.

[28:30] Jeff O’Donnell: Um, but yeah, with the wedding planning process really only started like a week ago because the house has taken up all of our time and energy and we really need to shift focus.

[28:43] Taylor Phillips: We got back, yeah.

[28:44] Jeff O’Donnell: We got lucky.

[28:45] Taylor Phillips: So we got engaged in January. We we put a bid on the house in September.

[28:50] Jeff O’Donnell: So from January to September, we were in wedding mode, so we got all of our vendors locked down, we got the whole I we got the whole shell of it done, and now it's details picking out what's gonna be for dinner, what the colors are, what we're wearing, what our the vibe is.

[29:07] Taylor Phillips: What song I'm singing as I walk down the aisle from the prom, right?

[29:13] Jeff O’Donnell: Right.

[29:13] Taylor Phillips: Right, from the prop.

[29:15] Jeff O’Donnell: Um give it some Zayas.

[29:17] Taylor Phillips: So it's um it's it's been fun, but it it's some it's it it's been fun, I will say, but when you do when you're doing that in tandem with not only buying but renovating a house while also living in a pandemic, it's all just like so crazy that we're experiencing these huge life milestones in in a time in the world that will hopefully change and not exist anymore, like this pandemic style life.

[29:50] Jeff O’Donnell: Hopefully, um, you know, once we're out of it, everything will be like normal again, but we're doing all this stuff in a time when it's just not normal.

[29:59] Taylor Phillips: Yeah. I'm really hoping our wedding will be like the celebration the kickoff of like normalcy at the Oracle.

[30:08] Jeff O’Donnell: We will send that dirt energy your way for sure.

[30:11] Bret Shuford: During the um pandemic what have you learned about each other that you didn't know before now that you've spent so much time together.

[30:20] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[30:22] Taylor Phillips: Good things good things.

[30:23] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah of course always I feel like I I've said this before but um like being forced to spend 247 with each other for like over a year at this point it also like aged our relationship or matured our relationship because like not only did we one get to spend more time together like I remember at the beginning the first three months we're like oh my god it's like a sleepover every night like this is so fun.

[30:50] Taylor Phillips: We would like sleep in the living room and like watch movies and it was like so fun. But with that you also like learn how to spend that much time with each other which we've never done before and how to like give each other space or like just coexist when you're constantly with the other person.

[31:11] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah and it was something something that for me that was or for us that was kind of tough is for me I don't know if you guys know like the love languages but my love language is quality time and so quality time and time together are not the same thing in my mind quality time is intentional time spent doing something that you know is is intentional and the pandemic forced us to be together 24-7 and so for a while figuring out what was quality time and what was just we can't leave the house because things bad things may happen it was hard it was hard figuring out where that went and so we just had to intentionally like make date night and we would have no phone date night yeah we would order our favorite foods and then we would like make the house like we would set the house up like it was a restaurant or like we we did some really cute stuff and it's funny but it you know in that in the thick of it it was like when are we gonna be able to leave again so you really had to make it last and make it make it work and I feel like it for a lot of people it was make or break and and luckily we you know so far still here still there's a house so um I love that so why do you think as a why do you think it's important that gay couples be visible online with social media and and and all of that um loaded question but I I just think that visibility is so important because I just I know firsthand how long I struggled to feel seen and in the world.

[33:06] Taylor Phillips: So when I when I first ever even had the thought that I might be gay I was so confused because growing up when I did realize that I was gay. I was so confused for so long because I wasn't Carson Kressley. I wasn't, I wasn't um, that's literally the only gay person I can think of when I was growing up who I saw. Like she's the she's lesbian. I'm just saying over the whole gay representation on she's lesbian.

[33:33] Jeff O’Donnell: Well, so anyway, so I growing up when I was like, well, maybe I'm not gay because I'm not like that. I'm not that guy, I'm not, you know what I mean? Like, if that's all I saw and I didn't relate to that, and that's what I associated gay with, of course, I'm gonna be confused. And so now that there's just other people out there that you know are are similar to me, I felt more seen, and I felt, okay, well, maybe maybe it's not just the um, I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I just didn't feel like I fit into that overly flamboyant gay person when I was coming out. Now I'm like, catch me in some wigs and heels all the time, but whatever. When I was coming to terms with that, I was just very confused.

And so that's why I think it's important because I know that confusion can lead to depression, to mental health issues, to you know, suicide. Like I, you know, there were times when when I was growing up, when I just I had no idea who I was, and I did not know if I would ever figure it out. And so my my actual like aha moment was um when Gus Kenworthy came out on the cover of ESPN magazine. I was like, oh, this is someone who played sports their whole life who um is is more masculine, and now I use the terms masculine and feminine a lot less because I know it's way different than. But when I was coming out, I that's how I felt. I um, you know, so that was the first time I felt represented, and now with access to social media and the people we've been exposed to, I feel I can see myself a little bit in all of these people.

And but you know, when you're when you're first coming out, or when you when you're when you don't know who you are, you you need someone to guide you. And I I felt like that didn't exist. And so that that truly is why I even use my platform the way I do, because I feel I just remember what it was like for me, and I don't want anyone else to ever feel like that. So, you know, social media has its pros and cons, but that will always outweigh the negative comments or the DMs or whatever. Um that that's that's it. Like the kid in whatever corner of the state, like that might like seeing a post or a photo of a gay couple like us, like that might be the thing that keeps them going that day, and like that's why I'm like it's not like an obligation, but like I feel like again, if we can make a difference in like one person's life and have and like ease their experience of coming out or feeling more comfortable with themselves, like it's the DMs the DMs that we get that I get more so are so make me like take a step back, and I'm like, holy crap, like you think this of me, like I'm helping you get like because even though this is what I'm setting out to do, when someone tells you that you're you're doing exactly what you're setting out to, but also how important it is to them, it's a really like odd experience because I I was in your shoes.

It's very, it's very weird um because I feel so grateful to have a platform at all and to have someone to share it with and to be able to make a difference to anyone. I don't want to sit here and like I don't want it to come across that we're like changing the world or we're we're you know masculine gay men need representation, whatever. That's not that's not my MO. It's that I want to create a space where people feel seen. And um if I can if we can be ourselves, that's all we can do is be ourselves, and hopefully people see that and they're like, oh, I like to sing and dance around like I I like, you know, I I see myself and Jeff or whatever. And and so that really is um that's what that's why we do it.

[37:46] Bret Shuford: Well said.

[37:47] Stephen Hanna: Yeah, absolutely.

[37:49] Bret Shuford: Now we're gonna move on to a segment we call Spotlight A Love.

[37:55] Stephen Hanna: Okay, so is there a lot of it?

[37:58] Bret Shuford: There is a jingle.

[37:59] Stephen Hanna: It will play underneath.

[38:00] Bret Shuford: Yeah, yeah. When you listen and share it with everyone.

[38:04] Stephen Hanna: Um, so we had someone write a write in and they want to say anonymous. And this person said, I recently just survived a divorce and started dating. I'm trying to be cautious on apps and be selective. Last night I went on a date with a gorgeous man who turned out not to be, I don't know how to say it, very smart. I'm definitely intellectual, and this guy is so sweet, but I'm not sure if I can date someone who isn't very intelligent. Is that shallow of me? Should I still consider going out with him?

[38:42] Taylor Phillips: Who wants to start?

[38:44] Jeff O’Donnell: I love it.

[38:45] Taylor Phillips: Go for it.

[38:46] Jeff O’Donnell: I mean, I think it's it's too it's yes and no. So I think if you're deciding that on on one go, like that's a that like give him another give him another shot. But if if it's if you if you keep going and you feel the same way, then it's not shallow at all. People have needs and to have like those intellectual conversations. If that's something that you need that fulfills you, and that person is not giving it, then they're not giving it. That's that's them, and that's you, and that's it, doesn't have to work. And so move on.

[39:21] Taylor Phillips: I would say again, I agree. I think it's too hard to tell on like a first date. I think um, you know, there's so many other factors that can go into a first date. Nerves, um, having a bad day. You need to give it like two or three times to really get a sense. Ask them something they're really interested in and knowledgeable in to see if they because that this person might also have a false sense of reality, and maybe they're not stupid, maybe they just didn't have a huge interest in what they were talking about.

[39:57] Jeff O’Donnell: What are you talking about?

[39:58] Taylor Phillips: Like, do you say let's have an intellectual conversation?

[40:01] Jeff O’Donnell: No, no, I'm saying on the first date to be able to determine if there's Twitter good enough or not, was was the person that wrote in like, let's be intellectual. You know what I mean? Like, it's like it could have just not been the moment to showcase is intellectuality. Is that a word?

[40:20] Taylor Phillips: Yeah, it is different ways. It's not always like people sometimes aren't the best at like um speaking about.

[40:27] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, maybe they're not good at math, but they took ballet for 20 years and they're killer at dance. Like that, that's intelligent. There, maybe you're not like, you know, so I think it's good. Ask about a topic that they are interested in.

[40:39] Taylor Phillips: I like that. I mean, the thing that gets me is that like they're with a gorgeous man. I'm like, well, if they're that gorgeous, like, yeah, go out with them again. Like give them another shot. Like, clearly they've got something going on. Like you might, you know, finding it. And also, like, if you just got out, if you're just getting out of a divorce, like, why do you need to be intellectually stimulated? Just like have fun.

[41:02] Jeff O’Donnell: Definitely.

[41:10] Taylor Phillips: I say go for the gorgeousness and just like see see how long you can handle it.

[41:14] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[41:17] Taylor Phillips: Go on one date at a time.

[41:18] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah.

[41:19] Taylor Phillips: You guys that week.

[41:21] Jeff O’Donnell: And yeah, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

[41:23] Taylor Phillips: That's true.

[41:25] Jeff O’Donnell: 21 opportunities to find someone intellectual.

[41:28] Taylor Phillips: Yeah. Um and also maybe I mean, I can't speak for them, but if you're coming hot off a divorce, like, are you really looking for something super serious right now?

[41:38] Jeff O’Donnell: So true that.

[41:40] Taylor Phillips: That's some really good advice. If you, as a listener, want to get unqualified advice from us and our guests, make sure you shoot us a DM on Instagram at Broadway Husbands or check out Broadway Husbands.com and shoot us an email. We would love to read your question out loud. And of course, you can always stay anonymous. We are happy to offer any sort of guidance if it's helpful.

[42:04] Bret Shuford: Um Wow, what what a treat getting to talk to the both of you and your beautiful dog uh from your new house. I can't wait to follow you as you settle into your new home and plan your wedding and all the exciting things that are coming your way. And thank you so much for being here, and thank you for inspiring all the people out there that you inspire.

[42:26] Taylor Phillips: Oh, thank you so much for having us.

[42:28] Jeff O’Donnell: Sorry, I I tend to ramble, so sorry about that. But um, yeah, thank you for having us, and thank you for you know having a platform and using it to do things like this. I think that's super impactful.

[42:41] Taylor Phillips: Yes.

[42:42] Jeff O’Donnell: We're gonna all come hang out at your pool soon.

[42:44] Bret Shuford: Yeah?

[42:44] Jeff O’Donnell: Yeah, no, please. It's it's this is uh entertaining house. So if you build it, they all come.

[42:51] Bret Shuford: And tell tell tell our listeners where they can follow both of you at.

[42:56] Taylor Phillips: You can follow me on all platforms at Taylor J Phillips.

[43:01] Jeff O’Donnell: You can follow us on YouTube together at Taylor and Jeff and on Instagram. I am at Jeff O'Donnell.

[43:08] Taylor Phillips: Yeah. That's us.

[43:11] Bret Shuford: Thanks for listening to the Broadway Husbands Podcast. Don't forget to subscribe. And while you're at it, leave a review on whatever podcast platform you listen to us on. Don't forget to check out Broadway Life Apparel and our new designs that are released every month. Thanks to our Patreon patrons. Don't forget to join our family by going to Patreon.com forward slash Broadway Husbands. And a big shout out to the Broadway Podcast Network. Go to BPN.fm forward slash husbands to check out the wide array of Broadway themed podcasts for your listening pleasure. And on this podcast, we encourage you to love who you love and love what you do.