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[0:10] Jess McInally: Hello, I'm Jess McInally.

[0:12] Andrew DeWolf: And I am Andrew DeWolf.

[0:13] Brianna Jones: And I'm Brianna Jones.

[0:14] Jess McInally: And welcome to Musicals with Cheese, a podcast where I try to get Andrew and Bree to like musical theater.

[0:19] Jess McInally: And today, we've got an extra special guest on our Christmas episode.

[0:23] Andrew DeWolf: Very special Christmas guest.

[0:25] Brianna Jones: Christmas guest!

[0:26] Jess McInally: You've let the Christmas in.

[0:28] Brianna Jones: Oh my goodness.

[0:29] Jess McInally: Pearl.

[0:30] Brianna Jones: Shut the door.

[0:30] Jess McInally: The Christmas is coming in.

[0:31] Brianna Jones: Oh no, the Christmas is coming in.

[0:33] Jess McInally: You gotta shut that door.

[0:34] Jess McInally: Please welcome actor, musician, composer, lyricist, singer, multi-instrumentalist, and Little Match Girl, Pearl Rhein!

[0:40] Pearl Rhein: Hello.

[0:43] Jess McInally: We are so glad to have you back. It's been far too long.

[0:46] Pearl Rhein: Little Match Girl, I think is the most important. I'm almost six feet tall, so I would like to always introduce myself as the Little Match Girl.

[0:55] Pearl Rhein: I mean, Little Match Girl is a state of mind. It's not like a literal description. It's a title. It's not actually like a descriptor.

[1:04] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, it's like Spider-Man.

[1:06] Andrew DeWolf: Anyone can wear the match.

[1:09] Pearl Rhein: He did it.

[1:10] Andrew DeWolf: You know, we'll end the episode.

[1:12] Pearl Rhein: Coming to the end of the match girl.

[1:15] Andrew DeWolf: You know, dying on the streets.

[1:21] Pearl Rhein: She gets her own standalone.

[1:22] Andrew DeWolf: Or she dies on the street.

[1:24] Pearl Rhein: She's an endgame.

[1:26] Andrew DeWolf: She's just dead on the street every time.

[1:28] Pearl Rhein: That's what happens.

[1:30] Andrew DeWolf: They're all kicking ass and she's like, Matchies!

[1:33] Pearl Rhein: Penny Ubuntu.

[1:35] Andrew DeWolf: Oh goodness.

[1:36] Pearl Rhein: Her superhero strength is cockney.

[1:40] Andrew DeWolf: Just like annoy it like comes out like Black Canaries like voice where it just can deafen people.

[1:45] Pearl Rhein: Oh, I missed that!

[1:47] Andrew DeWolf: You me dad!

[1:48] Pearl Rhein: Oh no!

[1:52] Pearl Rhein: Oh my god. Me Nan's dead!

[1:55] Jess McInally: Mike is on that note, in case you haven't picked up what we're throwing down this week for our special Christmas episode, we are talking about the Little Match Girl musical, the TV movie from 1986.

[2:07] Andrew DeWolf: Come on, you could have guessed it.

[2:09] Brianna Jones: Yeah, who didn't know about this one?

[2:13] Jess McInally: You've been reposting it for years.

[2:15] Andrew DeWolf: Come on, you guys. Everybody's wanted us to cover this for a long time.

[2:19] Pearl Rhein: I've never met another human who knew this movie.

[2:25] Jess McInally: Children singing.

[2:27] Andrew DeWolf: Judge bells ringing.

[2:30] Jess McInally: All hangs on at a new beginning.

[2:38] Pearl Rhein: But one see that's it. The Eric thing is what makes it real.

[2:46] Jess McInally: Christmas signal singing Christmas.

[3:05] Jess McInally: The Little Match Girl is a musical with music by Keith Strachan and lyrics and book by Jeremy Paul and Leslie Stewart. Based on the musical Scraps by Jeremy Paul and Leslie Stewart, which was originally based on the Hans Christian Andersen short story The Little Match Girl.

[3:20] Jess McInally: It premiered on British television on December 28th, 1986, which is strangely three days after Christmas, so that's a different day?

[3:34] Andrew DeWolf: No.

[3:35] Pearl Rhein: What?

[3:36] Andrew DeWolf: No.

[3:37] Pearl Rhein: Check your calendars.

[3:39] Jess McInally: Mina Maneri, tell us, is Andrew wrong there?

[3:43] Pearl Rhein: It come it boxing day, and then there's Christmas, and it's later. It's different.

[3:51] Jess McInally: It's true. It's a different day.

[3:54] Jess McInally: But the plot of the Little Match Girl is it's a short story by Danish poet and author Hans Christian Andersen. It's about a dying child's hopes and dreams, and was first published in 1845.

[4:05] Jess McInally: This adaptation was made for Harlech TV and broadcast on the 20th of December 1986 and starred Twiggy and Roger Daltrey and features the song "Mistletoe and Wine," which became a Christmas number one for Cliff Richard in 1988.

[4:18] Jess McInally: The biggest selling record of that year. So that's the biggest claim to fame this movie has.

[4:24] Pearl Rhein: Oh wow. They did it.

[4:25] Jess McInally: Did you not know that, Pearl?

[4:27] Pearl Rhein: No. I didn't know that part.

[4:29] Jess McInally: Yeah, that this does have a tangible connection to the world around it. It isn't like in its own little bubble.

[4:35] Jess McInally: So in case anyone hasn't picked up like the obvious like Pearl requested this and it seemed like a fun idea. What is your connection with this movie?

[4:45] Pearl Rhein: Oh my god. So my connection, I have learned this is like standard for people who got connected to this movie, at least in the US, because the YouTube link that I watched it on, which is the one you found, almost everybody in the comments had the same backstory that I did, which is I randomly found it at the library when I was a kid, when I was just going through the entire category of musicals because I was obsessed with musical theater, and I watched it and it transfixed me, and I just got it from the library over and over again. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid.

[5:17] Pearl Rhein: I remember I um we had a pretty good stereo system in like the early 90s when I was little, and I taped all the songs to a cassette tape so that I could listen to them at times when I wasn't watching the movie.

[5:35] Pearl Rhein: I think somebody in the YouTube comments said, We found this at the library and we checked it out so many times. They just told us to keep it. Um but it seems to be like one of those wants it.

[5:45] Andrew DeWolf: Oh yeah.

[5:49] Pearl Rhein: It's a real like Belle from the Beauty and the Beast, like, hey, you like it so much and keep it, don't bring it back yet.

[5:55] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, yes.

[5:55] Pearl Rhein: This doesn't make any sense.

[6:01] Pearl Rhein: I rewatched it. It's got a great story.

[6:04] Pearl Rhein: It's got a great story. It doesn't know how to tell a story.

[6:08] Pearl Rhein: I rewatched it two nights ago with my husband who'd never seen it, and he just kept being like, I can't follow this. What is happening? And I realized it's a piece, it's a show that does not know when it's introducing a new character. Like anytime a new person comes into the story, it is as though they have already been there. Like there's no established, like, oh, this there's no exposition. It's just like suddenly this person's singing now.

[6:37] Andrew DeWolf: But Pearl, at the same time, they are singing this is my name. And that's like over and over again.

[6:43] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, oh, also that too. The most it's like they wrote one verse for each song and were like, I did it 12 times.

[6:52] Jess McInally: I was legitimately surprised you wanted to talk about this because you are a very accomplished songwriter yourself. You've been instructed under William Finn. You are very, very talented. And I was just thinking, like, why this, Pearl? I know you're talented. I know you can see the issues here. I'm nowhere near as acclaimed as you are, and I can see the issues here. What's going on?

[7:13] Pearl Rhein: Because I have a deep childish nostalgic love for this little mess of a musical.

[7:22] Pearl Rhein: I liked a lot of this. I think it's fantastic. I love when the two women just walk up and start singing about who they are. That's one of my favorite parts.

[7:33] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, directly to the camera. I love the ending where they die and then the dad screams, no. And then she goes, Oi, oi, oi, oi. And then she sings her happy song about how cool it is to be homeless.

[7:51] Pearl Rhein: It's like you just died because you were homeless. You're a cool thing. And now you're just happy about how great it is.

[7:58] Andrew DeWolf: Twitter.

[7:59] Pearl Rhein: But you live on the street. There's something like something about the sound stage and the like the way that their vocals, all of their songs were recorded in studio, and then they have this digital reverb on them, so they just sound completely otherworldly and fake. Something about that like confers this sense of dread to everything, like it's a horror movie that I think resonated really hard with me.

[8:29] Pearl Rhein: I was just telling somebody, um, I just came from a holiday party at this theater, and I was talking about this movie, and she had never heard of it, but she said, Is it like Shelly um is it Shelley Duvall?

[8:41] Pearl Rhein: Shelly Duvall's fairy tale theater. And I was like, Yeah, do you guys know any of Shelley Duvall's fairy tale theater? There is it's a don't.

[8:48] Pearl Rhein: I have seen it. She had Shelley Duvall had a series in late 70s or early 80s, um, where they did low budget musical reenactments of fairy tales on sound stages. Robin Williams plays The Frog Prince. She had like uh celebrities of the time, and it has a very similar low-budget sound stage wrongness to it.

[9:13] Pearl Rhein: And I feel like this is sort of folded in with like I'm a lifetime horror fan, and I think I was drawn to things that were like, it kind of seems like something's terribly bad.

[9:28] Jess McInally: I mean, you get the vibe that something is wrong in this show, yeah, but I don't know what it is because I can't figure out what's happening.

[9:36] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[9:36] Pearl Rhein: I also something I learned that I hadn't done before. One of the first comments on the YouTube link that I watched, which is the version that I know from as a kid, the f one of the first comments is from somebody who claims to have been a boom operator on the filming of this movie, and he said, This is the American cut. And it was and there was a different it was a different cut from what was originally aired in the UK, and apparently this was for an American audience who maybe wasn't as familiar with the source material.

[10:07] Pearl Rhein: Um so now I have to watch the UK version because I wonder if that explains some of the like the complete failure to just establish a timeline in this musical.

[10:20] Andrew DeWolf: I mean, if they're expecting more source material knowledge, they might it might be even more confusing.

[10:25] Pearl Rhein: Yes, yes. Um Pearl, if you don't mind, I want to make Andrew describe the plot of this for us. I feel like that would be a joy.

[10:34] Andrew DeWolf: I oh my god. I mean, the only thing I can really gather is there is a little match girl who sells matches for a penny, um, which I can't imagine is something many people are buying. She just runs around and and she loves to live in the street because her house is better than everybody else's because there's no walls and no ceiling.

[10:56] Andrew DeWolf: Um her dad is like just a bad person, it seems like. Um, and she doesn't let her live at home for whatever reason. I don't really know what's going on there. Um she meets someone named Arthur but I feel like he doesn't come back, but she loves him.

[11:11] Pearl Rhein: Um He comes back in her fantasy flashback she has while lighting matches.

[11:17] Andrew DeWolf: Okay. But she loves him. That's really important.

[11:22] Andrew DeWolf: He showed up he showed up and he sang his name like fifty times. So I mean, how could you not love him after that?

[11:28] Andrew DeWolf: Um, you know. So something happens where she goes and like wears her mom's clothes, and that really uh triggers the dad to kick her out, I think. Um, and then she dies in the street, and during that time we like see a bunch of rich people. I don't really know what's happening there.

[11:46] Pearl Rhein: That's her hallucinating from hypothermia and thinking alternative ways that she wouldn't have to die tonight.

[11:52] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, okay. The framing device basically seems to be in her real life, she's meeting all these crazy people, the little girl that could be her friend and her bitchy sister, and then she meets like Arthur, and then she meets the older ladies and whatever. And then the second half of the film is like her hallucinating how they might save her from dying, and then whoops a doodle, nobody saves her from dying, and she dies.

[12:15] Pearl Rhein: Yep.

[12:16] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[12:16] Pearl Rhein: Her dad should have let her wear her mom's old feathers.

[12:21] Andrew DeWolf: That I don't get it.

[12:22] Jess McInally: Like, like Pearl, I want to step into your shoes as a five-year-old watching this.

[12:28] Pearl Rhein: Well, let's see. Here, let's see. I was uh so I as I said I rewatched this with my husband, and I I said, I think that was a big draw for me, that like that big Capital T tragedy and this like sense of doom, and I was like, I don't know what it was about worlds like that and characters like that. I was really drawn as a kid, and he said, You don't know what it was about characters like that, because I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family.

[12:54] Pearl Rhein: Oh I get it now. And also, um, with uh like a very German family with a lot of German culture, and I I grew up speaking German with my father, and uh, and we had German kids books growing up. And if you've ever seen German kids books, they are mostly about how children misbehave and then die.

[13:15] Pearl Rhein: So I had like I had like a lot of like uh like old testament um and uh like very punitive children's literature. My whole life was like pointing me toward like the best stories are about people who die. Um, but yeah, I loved I loved anything like this. Anything like with this uh like these romantic figures who are just doomed to pass away before anyone discovers their worth.

[13:46] Jess McInally: Have you ever seen any other adaptations of this story?

[13:49] Pearl Rhein: I don't think I have. I think there are a couple of animated ones.

[13:54] Jess McInally: The Disney animated one is fantastic. Let me just say that. I watched it very young.

[13:59] Pearl Rhein: Does she still die at the end?

[14:00] Jess McInally: Yeah, it's it is a very thr five-minute version of this entire story where she lights candles, and every time she sees like Christmas, she sees her grandmother, and then the grandmother picks her up and holds her in her arms, and then we fade away from that and just see her corpse there, and it's like a cute little fantasia style, like dark short. It's very, very good.

[14:21] Pearl Rhein: Oh wow. So that's the only reason why I understood what was going on, is because I had the context from that short of like, oh, I see what they're trying to do here.

[14:28] Jess McInally: Yeah. I think I mean there so there's one of the like essential failings in the script is that sometimes she says me nan, and I think she means her grandmother, but sometimes she says me ma'am because the clothes in the trunk belong to her mother, so it's very unclear if she's ever when she's when she's speaking about her mother and when she's speaking about her grandmother.

[14:53] Pearl Rhein: I think probably because they needed to write a good part for Twiggy, and Twiggy was like, I'm not anybody's grandmother.

[15:02] Jess McInally: How about we pause and talk about the composer of this?

[15:05] Pearl Rhein: Um Keith Stretchan. Um he is a fairly old composer. Once again, he wrote the hit that for this musical that turned out in to be a billboard hit. But he also wrote the theme song to Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

[15:21] Jess McInally: Oh my god.

[15:23] Pearl Rhein: It was a last minute, 30-minute job, basically, that he did quickly, and he gets so many residuals for it. Like, and on his website, he like has Slum Dog Millionaire as like a credit of him. Not that he did the score to Slum Dog Millionaire, but they use a little bit of clips of his music for the millionaire sequences in that.

[15:42] Jess McInally: Oh my god.

[15:46] Pearl Rhein: What is the theme for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

[15:48] Jess McInally: Is it just that like that one?

[15:52] Pearl Rhein: And the like?

[15:54] Jess McInally: Yeah, all that.

[15:54] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, I'm very literally the whole thing. Like synthesized drums, like boom ba boom.

[16:00] Jess McInally: Yes.

[16:01] Pearl Rhein: He wrote the entire score to like Who Wants to be a Millionaire and all that. Um probably did that in in like an hour.

[16:07] Jess McInally: Yeah.

[16:09] Pearl Rhein: And this musical, The Little Match Girl, um, Scraps, as it was originally called, but it was renamed after this TV movie. Um, it's still getting performed. Like on his website, he still has like clips of it from 2017 productions. And he has demos of him singing every song from it that Bree is gonna play right now.

[16:30] ♪ Musical number: "Our Names Are Maud and Winifred" — performed by Keith Stretchan ♪

[16:54] Jess McInally: That's really good. That's really great. I if I wanted you guys to have that, Brie. I if you need links to that, I feel like the audience needs to hear a bit of that too. But this is his claim to fame. This ship movie that I'm pretty sure so many people think is a fever dream from their childhoods, is this person's claim to fame outside of doing like the quickest of quickest jobs on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

[17:15] Pearl Rhein: Fever Dream is right, because this is exactly the era of like stuff you'd get your mom to get from the library if you're a home or strep throat like me.

[17:23] Jess McInally: Yeah.

[17:23] Pearl Rhein: Um and I I probably I probably literally did watch this movie more sick than well.

[17:30] Jess McInally: I will join you in that. Um I watched it today. I had an a hundred and two fever all day today.

[17:36] Pearl Rhein: Um you have the full experience.

[17:39] Jess McInally: I watched it three times. The first two times I fell asleep, the third time I got through it. And the third time I realized a lot of the first two watches crept into my fever dreams.

[17:49] Pearl Rhein: Oh my god.

[17:51] Jess McInally: So that was my experience where I'm like, I am Queen of the Streets. That's the key to this movie. You have to watch it with a fever.

[17:58] Pearl Rhein: Maybe that's I I'm not saying I liked it or enjoyed my experience anytime I've watched this. Don't quote me there, Pearl.

[18:06] Jess McInally: That's why the lyrics are so repetitive because they figure you're kind of going in and out.

[18:11] Pearl Rhein: Yeah.

[18:12] Jess McInally: You're like, you're like, whoa. You gotta understand what their name is.

[18:16] Pearl Rhein: Arthur's me name.

[18:18] Jess McInally: Yes.

[18:18] Pearl Rhein: Arthur's me name, Arthur's me name. Our names are Maud and Winifred.

[18:23] Jess McInally: I love that one. That's my favorite one. Uh tag yourself, which which little match girl character are you?

[18:29] Pearl Rhein: Oh my god. I'm soft shoes.

[18:31] Jess McInally: Oh, way a soft shoes on me fate.

[18:34] Andrew DeWolf: Um, I'm Maud and or Winifred.

[18:39] Pearl Rhein: I'm Twiggy.

[18:40] Jess McInally: Twiggy.

[18:41] Pearl Rhein: Actually, yeah, Twiggy's first number with all with the fast lyrics that are like uh uh uh if your ass is your ass at you something, your bed um uh in the like off-the-shoulder sh um like beer hull outfit was so fucking formative for me as a kid. I remember being like, that's the dream. That's the best thing you can do is just sing a rude song in an off-the-shoulder dress. That's what I want to do with my life.

[19:10] Jess McInally: That really is like like very much part of the bedrock of the musical theater hockster.

[19:19] Pearl Rhein: And I still don't know what half those words are.

[19:22] Jess McInally: There's no way you would have the lyrics either. Would you perform in in Little Match Girl? Would you if alright, if we were to do like a cabaret of you singing all of Little Match Girl, would you do it?

[19:33] Pearl Rhein: Oh yeah, like a one-woman little match girl. This is actually a really good idea.

[19:39] Jess McInally: Like a Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins one man band but one woman performer.

[19:45] Pearl Rhein: Yes.

[19:46] Jess McInally: But in my version, everybody dies.

[19:49] Pearl Rhein: Just get different hats and you can put on different hats for when you're different characters.

[19:53] Jess McInally: She's really living up to the multi-instrumentalist.

[19:56] Pearl Rhein: Yeah.

[19:58] Jess McInally: Multi-vocalist. That's gonna go into what I wanted to do next. Pearl, you do a lot of sad covers on your YouTube page.

[20:05] Pearl Rhein: It is part of your bread and butter.

[20:06] Jess McInally: Yes. I would love to hear you and your incredible voice do a sad cover of Queen of the Street, please.

[20:12] Pearl Rhein: Right now in front of everyone. Let me see how if I remember these words. I have to do it in the dialect. It's the only way it works.

[20:21] Jess McInally: Yeah, but it has to be sad.

[20:23] Pearl Rhein: Sad cocky.

[20:28] I'm the queen.

[20:31] I'm the queen of the streets. In my palace. All my dreams are complete. All of plenty. I'll have so much to eat. Away. Soft shoes on me feed.

[20:50] Jess McInally: Now Brady just had some sad piano track behind that.

[20:55] Pearl Rhein: Oh yeah. That's yeah, I think that's sad piano.

[20:59] Jess McInally: No, it's just like one key. Like that's not.

[21:01] Pearl Rhein: That's it that's like that's a little bit more dramatic than ukulele.

[21:04] Jess McInally: So it's a lot of people. It's like the nostalgia, nostalgia piano type thing where you're gonna be. Like this is for the people that were like, Man, I love um Little Match Girl. I'm so excited for Little Match Girl No Way Home.

[21:18] Pearl Rhein: There is a way home, she doesn't have one.

[21:21] Jess McInally: Oh my god. Little Match Girl got no home.

[21:25] Pearl Rhein: I don't know. When you go into the Little Match Girl reverse and you see all the dead all the different little match girls.

[21:32] Jess McInally: That's a Matty one girl.

[21:36] Pearl Rhein: It's like famous British young actresses. My god, the Emerson. Millie Bobby Brown, we've got Florence Pugh, all of them are the Little Match Girlverse.

[21:45] Jess McInally: Yes. There already is that in Little Match Girl. You see all the different versions of her at the end, living a different lives. Just have them all come together and they have a party in the dead.

[21:59] Pearl Rhein: The dead one didn't show up.

[22:02] Jess McInally: And they still all die, and it's still always Roger Daltrey's fault.

[22:07] Pearl Rhein: Yes.

[22:07] Jess McInally: Oi, oi, oi, oi! But you still have to have them come out and yell. You have to have them come out and yell no for every single one of them.

[22:13] Pearl Rhein: No!

[22:17] Jess McInally: Oh my god. On that note, how about we compare our opinions to those of the insane people on the wonderful website Letterboxd?

[22:27] Pearl Rhein: Perfect.

[22:28] Jess McInally: Let me just say, um, we play a game here, Pearl. It's called One Star or Five Star, where Bree and I are gonna read both you and Andrew reviews, and you have to tell us whether it was a one-star review or a five-star.

[22:40] Pearl Rhein: Um, so there is a letterbox page for this movie adaptation, but there is not a single five-star review on it, so we couldn't play So we couldn't play it with just this movie.

[22:54] Jess McInally: So this is of all the adaptations of Little Match Girl.

[22:57] Pearl Rhein: Oh good.

[22:58] Jess McInally: Oh my gosh. Okay. Um so Bree, do you want to start off?

[23:01] Brianna Jones: Pick pick your favorite. I always usually get to pick, but pick who you want, what team you want to play on.

[23:06] Pearl Rhein: Ooh.

[23:07] Brianna Jones: Uh me and Pearl.

[23:09] Pearl Rhein: Yeah.

[23:09] Brianna Jones: Alright.

[23:11] Jess McInally: Yes.

[23:12] Brianna Jones: Alright. Alright, Jess. Give me the easy ones.

[23:15] Jess McInally: Okay. Um, really beautiful animation about the death of a little girl. By the way, I learned that sheriffs have navels but no nipples. Good to know.

[23:25] Pearl Rhein: So, Pearl, what do you think? Is that a five-star or a one-star?

[23:29] Pearl Rhein: I hope that's a five-star.

[23:31] Jess McInally: Five star?

[23:31] Pearl Rhein: Yep.

[23:32] Jess McInally: Yes.

[23:33] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, that's correct. Sorry. My internet went out for a second.

[23:36] Jess McInally: No worries. Alright, alright. Andrew, are you ready?

[23:39] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I'm ready. Let's let's let's uh give me a good one here.

[23:42] Brianna Jones: This is actually one for the 1986 movie. Like the only one.

[23:48] Jess McInally: Um they padded this out too long and I hated it. I'm glad she died at the end. I was so afraid she'd actually get saved.

[23:56] Andrew DeWolf: That's a one-star.

[23:59] Jess McInally: I mean that guy's very clear, but what do you think?

[24:04] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, how could it not be?

[24:06] Jess McInally: Fair. With that many aimless patter songs. I might as well be a Sontime musical.

[24:14] Brianna Jones: Alright, Bree, you ready?

[24:16] Brianna Jones: Uh yeah. Um the story loses something when the little Match Girl is clearly 35.

[24:26] Pearl Rhein: I disagree.

[24:27] Brianna Jones: How dilmatch girl is a title. It's not Exactly Descriptor. Anyone can wear the match.

[24:37] Pearl Rhein: We've said this.

[24:38] Brianna Jones: The Little Match melf.

[24:41] Pearl Rhein: Oh.

[24:41] Brianna Jones: Oh shit.

[24:43] Pearl Rhein: Now it's a descriptor.

[24:45] Brianna Jones: You know what? Can we make that the title of the musical version that Earl's writing?

[24:53] Pearl Rhein: The Little Match Melf.

[24:55] Brianna Jones: She doesn't die.

[24:56] Jess McInally: Um that's gotta be one star.

[24:59] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, that's correct.

[25:02] Brianna Jones: Alright, Andrew, are you ready?

[25:04] Andrew DeWolf: I'm ready.

[25:05] Brianna Jones: Not really relatable, and that's the point of it, I think.

[25:08] Andrew DeWolf: Dot dot dot dot dot. Yeah, they they wrote the story. They're like, you know what the point of this story is? No one can relate to it. That's the point.

[25:19] Brianna Jones: Um I mean, they seem to appreciate that it wasn't relatable, so five stars.

[25:24] Andrew DeWolf: That is correct.

[25:24] Brianna Jones: Oh my god, you guys are killing it today.

[25:27] Jess McInally: Alright. I feel like that could be a review of many of my favorite movies.

[25:32] Pearl Rhein: Not really relatable, and that's the point of it.

[25:34] Jess McInally: That's the point.

[25:36] Brianna Jones: Alright, are you ready, Pearl?

[25:38] Pearl Rhein: Yes.

[25:39] Brianna Jones: Don't get high on your own supply.

[25:44] Pearl Rhein: Oh, that's good.

[25:46] Brianna Jones: Five.

[25:47] Pearl Rhein: That's a one star.

[25:50] Brianna Jones: That's a that's a that's like a generous one star. I get it.

[25:54] Andrew DeWolf: Alright, Andrew, are you ready for this one?

[25:56] Andrew DeWolf: I don't think I'm ready.

[25:57] Brianna Jones: This is what I get for eating so much that I get stuck on the couch.

[26:07] Andrew DeWolf: Sounds like it's a one-star review of somebody's holiday experience.

[26:11] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I'm I I want to go with one star because it feels like that feels negative. So one star.

[26:15] Brianna Jones: That was a five star.

[26:17] Andrew DeWolf: I don't understand it either.

[26:19] Brianna Jones: Oh my god.

[26:21] Andrew DeWolf: Letterboxd makes no sense.

[26:23] Brianna Jones: None of this website is. These are both tricks.

[26:25] Andrew DeWolf: Those are both trick questions. It's they're not even tricks. The people at Letterboxd means. Alright. Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight, wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight, wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight. Harry Styles only angel. Five. I'm hoping it's a five-star review. Oh, that's a one-star. Oh my god. What? Oh my lord. We don't understand it. Alright, Andrew, are you ready for this?

[27:03] Andrew DeWolf: I'm ready. I'm ready. Her trying to get people to buy her matchsticks was me trying to get people to register to vote when I was an intern during the Hillary campaign.

[27:14] Pearl Rhein: What? Why? Why would you it's a review? You're supposed to be reviewing the movie.

[27:23] Andrew DeWolf: Um I guess it was relatable for him. And the last one that was said that it was good to not be relatable. No, so five stars. That's a five-star. That is a one-star, Andrew. You saved all the hard ones. Was that, can I ask? Was that for the this one, the 86 live action?

[27:40] Pearl Rhein: No, that one was for uh the Disney one.

[27:43] Andrew DeWolf: Oh I don't understand anything. I don't get it. Alright. Bree.

[27:50] Brianna Jones: Okay. What if sad?

[27:57] Andrew DeWolf: Good question. Oh no. Um I'm gonna go with my instinct and say that is a five-star review.

[28:08] Brianna Jones: That's a one-star.

[28:10] Andrew DeWolf: That's I'm not I I use up all my correct guesses, I guess. That's okay. It's no way to guess this. There's no rhyme and reason to this. There's no skill. Because what if sad is how I feel about this as a person who enjoys this movie musical, that is my review of it, and for me that is a five-star review. What if sad? Um okay, Andrew, you ready?

[28:34] Andrew DeWolf: I'm ready. Maholland Drive could never be the little match girl.

[28:39] Pearl Rhein: Uh I mean, prove that wrong.

[28:42] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. We're gonna go gonna go with uh with five stars. Five stars. That is a one-star, Andrew. Oh my god. I don't I don't understand none of these make any sense. Are you guys still tired?

[28:55] Pearl Rhein: Yeah.

[28:55] Brianna Jones: Oh. It's still two to two. We were both winning and now we're both losing.

[29:00] Andrew DeWolf: Yes. Basic, basically. Alright, we have three reviews left. Anyone can win this. Yes. Alright, Pearl.

[29:08] Pearl Rhein: Yeah. This one says, we don't deserve dogs.

[29:12] Andrew DeWolf: Is there a dog in?

[29:14] Pearl Rhein: Okay, must be one that I don't. I'm gonna say I'm still going with five because I've Yeah. That's it. I knew it would come back around to me.

[29:22] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, these are both very, very dubious last choices.

[29:27] Pearl Rhein: Of course. Like, I don't I I don't know how. Uh wish you luck, Andrew.

[29:32] Andrew DeWolf: Okay. I guess I'm gonna pick the easier of the two. What the fuck?

[29:36] Pearl Rhein: That full review.

[29:38] Andrew DeWolf: Fair. I I mean that sounds negative. I'm gonna go with one star.

[29:43] Pearl Rhein: I don't know. That was a five.

[29:45] Andrew DeWolf: How is that a fun stuff? Andrew, just like you're you just sit down, you watch a you watch a really good movie, and you just write the review, you're like, what the fuck? It was to the Disney one, and I if you're out of context uh sitting down and watching that Disney one, it is a what the fuck kind of watch. Because you're like, it's just I thought it was a cute little cartoon, and then you watch it and she's dead.

[30:09] Brianna Jones: Well, I mean, all cute cartoons end with death, especially Disney ones. Alright, Pearl, let's see if you win by one point or two.

[30:17] Pearl Rhein: Okay, ready? How did women hold their hair up in hats like that? What the heck? Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. Explain this to me. Crying face.

[30:31] Andrew DeWolf: What?

[30:34] Pearl Rhein: Oh my god. One star.

[30:37] Andrew DeWolf: That was a five-star.

[30:39] Pearl Rhein: The crying face. Yeah. Threw me off. Oh my god. That review threw me off. Like it was either that one or what the fuck, Andrew. I was taking the best risk on what the fuck.

[30:51] Andrew DeWolf: That's amazing. I don't know. I feel like I might I might have had a better chance with the hat one. Because the what the fuck one just sounds negative.

[30:59] Pearl Rhein: That's fair, but the other one had a crying frowny emoticon. Wow. I would like to say that I think this is the first time that Andrew has ever lost.

[31:07] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I know. No, I don't think so. The first time I've lost to the other guest.

[31:11] Pearl Rhein: Which one?

[31:12] Andrew DeWolf: The last guest we had on, I forget.

[31:14] Pearl Rhein: Joel?

[31:15] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. You didn't lose.

[31:15] Pearl Rhein: Okay.

[31:16] Andrew DeWolf: You tied.

[31:16] Pearl Rhein: No.

[31:17] Andrew DeWolf: You tied.

[31:18] Pearl Rhein: That's a loss.

[31:19] Andrew DeWolf: I think you've always tied. You tied with sideways too. I'm I'm the host, so I have to uh I have to actually win to win.

[31:24] Pearl Rhein: That's fair.

[31:25] Andrew DeWolf: Got it. That's fair. Um what you're saying is I'm a trailblazer.

[31:29] Pearl Rhein: Yes, you are, Pearl. In many, many ways. I feel like if you win at this game, though, it it doesn't say good things about you.

[31:36] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. It just it means like you're you're in tune to some really fucked up psyches.

[31:43] Pearl Rhein: Yeah.

[31:44] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. But I will say, every time you laughed at one of the reviews, I want your laugh like as a ringtone. It just brought so much serotonin to me.

[31:54] Pearl Rhein: I was so joyous. Made my whole evening. Those are wonderful. How do women keep their hair up in hats? Like I mean, pins is the answer. Lots of pins.

[32:06] Andrew DeWolf: That review feels like a review of like the last time I did a period show in wigs.

[32:11] Pearl Rhein: Oh, okay. I had a brain. I was like, a show about periods? And I was like, oh no, no, I'm a dumbass.

[32:20] Andrew DeWolf: Playing the fever's brain. I've done those two. You're all out. You're out of it.

[32:25] Pearl Rhein: I am.

[32:25] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I know what? How about we go into a mid-show and then we talk about some songs?

[32:29] Pearl Rhein: Sure.

[32:40] Andrew DeWolf: Hey guys, sorry to interrupt you in the middle of the show, but we've got a shill at you. Andrew, tell them about Patreon.

[32:45] Andrew DeWolf: Uh, today's show is brought to you by the extremely kind donations by our donors at Patreon. And they are getting some extra perks that um our normal viewers don't have access to because they don't give us money. Perks like.

[32:58] Pearl Rhein: Um, I don't know. We have the extra podcast thing.

[33:02] Andrew DeWolf: What is it? Patreon with cheese, we call it Patreon with cheese, yeah. Uh, we have some commentary tracks that we do on like Tom and Jerry and like Rent. What else have we Rent the movie? That was the Superstar. Jesus Christ Superstar. We have some good ones on there. You know, go check it out. And we also we're doing uh monthly meetups as well where we play jackbox games.

[33:23] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, those start up again in January.

[33:25] Andrew DeWolf: So January 7th, come join the fun. Um current also, also, also, you will get uh video versions of the episodes where you can see all of our wonderful faces. You can see the incredible dress that Pearl has on right now. You're missing out on that unless you're on our Patreon, and really it is a fucking bomb ass dress.

[33:46] Pearl Rhein: Um, our current patrons are Melissa Goldman, Terry Needleman, John Donna, Layton Accles, Danielle Renx, Justin Stampede, you and Cassidy, Tessier, Monica Thoreau, Nina Meneer, Brent Black, Haley Mary, Nathaniel, Stacey Coombe, Joseph Evans Green, Carrie Ahern, Mary Lou Choquette, John Vanows, Russ Walker, Musical Hell, Emily Gracie, Tablam, Kyle Summers, Janay C, Scoot in the Technicolor Dreamcoat, Liz Limb, Alison Stiller, nothing is certain except Beth and Texas, Thesbian, Ren Cullen, Wait in the Wings, Rafael Martinez Salaz, Robert Benjamin, Jessica T, Mitchell Young, Chai T Cobb, Katie McDonough, Timothy Keyes, Jeffrey Machado, Chris Marcote, Tomimu Robinson, Kiji Marie Anastasio, Layla, RJ Norija, Sebastian Canino, Avan Regan, Lizzie Keynes, Charlie B.

[34:23] Andrew DeWolf: Patrick Deering, Courtney Schreiner, Joe, Avery Brinson, Marilyn Brown, Melk Hormick, LaFemme Fectional, Bjorn Hermans, Trennese Massey, August Gorman, Mac the Knife, Erica S. Toriana Vestal, Sammy the Most Lopez, and Lyanna Morton. Um they give us money that helps us keep the lights on and helps us keep Brie getting paid, and we like paying Brie. It's one of my favorite things to do. Um, one of the rare times I love giving money away. Um, but please help support us. We love it. 2022 is gonna be a good year for us. Um there's a lot of fun things we want to talk about, so keep us keep us going. Alright, let's get back to the show.

[35:56] Andrew DeWolf: Alright, what do we think of the opening number? The Little Match Girl named for the show itself. Which is the opening. I just watched part of the uh of the British cut, which opens with her I Want song, so now I'm forgetting. Wait, wait, there you can find the British cut.

[36:12] Pearl Rhein: I didn't even mean to. I was just I it's if you Google little uh the little match, it's like the second YouTube result, just I think is called Little Match Girl 1986. And it's a different version that opens with her um like uh she's next to she's next to the pillar and she goes, Scraps in the street, only ever get to eat, and it's that whole song, and then it go and then it's a little bit of me on it's different to yours. And then there was there was like a character selling there was a character I hadn't seen before. It was a whole new world. This is like 30 minutes ago.

[36:41] Andrew DeWolf: Um Wow. But in but the in the in the version we watched that I'm used to, it opens with somebody reminded me.

[36:49] Pearl Rhein: Oh I'm fully blank. I think it opened with Little Match Girl, and then it kinda goes into Penny from from his profits. If I remember correctly. There's a lot of songs I'm seeing in the song list. What song is called A Little Match Girl? Hold on. I think it's just like a little song that plays over the opening credits.

[37:09] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, okay. Oh, so there's there's something. All of the music in this piece is on synthesizer.

[37:16] Pearl Rhein: Yes. Which like there's like a few live violins at one point. And when Arthur sings his Maybe We'll get Married, even though you're 14 song, there's momentarily an electric guitar when it's like sexy man is singing. But other than that, it's just synth.

[37:33] Andrew DeWolf: Which is like being bombarded by Matt Wonderful Christmas time. It really is. And it's such a weird choice for a like 1890s set piece of theater. Like to my ear is so jarring, it just sounds like this is set in like the recent past. Um but actually I love the melody. That bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing. I I actually think that melody is like really touching.

[38:02] Pearl Rhein: So I I think what I like about the soundtrack to this is that everything I listened to had a bit of that uh VHS warble to it, you know?

[38:11] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[38:11] Pearl Rhein: So like every single every single song is just kind of like wow.

[38:16] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. Sounds like it sounds like childhood.

[38:20] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also it sounds like, man, I wish someone would do like a 4K like restoration of this so I can hear what these songs are supposed to say.

[38:29] Andrew DeWolf: Do you do you want that though?

[38:31] Pearl Rhein: I I want a 4K restoration of the Star Wars holiday special.

[38:34] Andrew DeWolf: So yeah, I want a lot of garbage. You went to the Star Wars Horror special though. In that dry, sandy snow that just scoots across the s the floor of that sound stage. It doesn't even look remotely cold, so the fact that she's supposed to be freezing to death really doesn't sell at all.

[39:02] Andrew DeWolf: And everyone else looks fine. I guess she doesn't have socks, but like everyone else is like bare necked and you know, a dress yeah, I've I found that very confusing. And it reminds me of I've done I've done a couple of shows that were like extended periods take place in the cold, and it is so tedious to remember to go. And it and it feels so stupid. And you understand you're cold.

[39:29] Pearl Rhein: Yes.

[39:30] Andrew DeWolf: It's cold. That's just all of the directors' notes are like, don't forget it's cold, and you're like, I'm s I'm doing a musical, I'm sweating.

[39:39] Pearl Rhein: The lights are on me. Can't you see? Yeah. What they need to do is just make the set actually really cold. We call that the James Cameron. Just actually give them hypothermia. It's a good thing. Yeah, you've seen the Exorcist. Everyone turned out good from that. Classic. It's a great strategy. Broken back acting. Although this time I clocked in the end when it actively snows, I think that's hand-drawn animation. It looked way too thick to be real. Yeah, and it's way too old to be computer-generated, and I think that's kind of lovely. So I agree with the budget went there. It gives me Pee-Wee's Playhouse vibes more than, you know, like really it doesn't feel as effective as I think they wanted it to.

[40:25] Jess McInally: Um, let's talk about Arthur's Me Name. Give us your ankle.

[40:33] Pearl Rhein: Mommy's frozen. Your nose is all swollen. Come on and get closer. Come on, let me warm ya. And I'm happy by night ya. And I'll line I've made nine. And off this may game. And I'm happy to make ya.

[41:03] Pearl Rhein: I feel like another major layer to my loving the show when I was a kid is because I just I was trained by Newsies, and any time a scamp in a newsboy cap entered, I was like, that's my boyfriend.

[41:17] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, so you were crushing on like the four pixels on screen, like couldn't you even see his face?

[41:24] Pearl Rhein: All I knew was he had an accent and he was singing and he was kind of flirty.

[41:30] Jess McInally: Yeah. But does that describe your current partner?

[41:33] Pearl Rhein: Let me see. He does really good accents. He's pretty flirty. Um, but he's uh, no newsboy caps.

[41:41] Andrew DeWolf: That's it. I know it's getting for Christmas.

[41:46] Pearl Rhein: Although I remember watching this, and I thought he was so cute, and I thought the little relationship was, and even this time through, I think those two actors did a really good job with their relationship. They seemed really warm until the end when he sings and we live happily ever after, and she comes in in a wedding dress, and I remember being a kid being like, but we're eight. We're in this relationship. Move a little fast here, man. Arthur's eight years old.

[42:20] Jess McInally: She is, and I would believe that he's eighteen and she's fourteen.

[42:27] Pearl Rhein: Yikes. They look young.

[42:31] Andrew DeWolf: They look like kid kids.

[42:33] Jess McInally: Yes. What were the lyrics to Arthur's Me Name, though? I feel like he repeats Arthur's Me Name like five times.

[42:39] Pearl Rhein: Arthur's me name and laughter's me game. Um, and I'm happy to meet ya, but I won't eat ya. Arthur's me name and laughter's me game, and I'm happy to meet ya. Over and over.

[42:51] Andrew DeWolf: Doesn't he at one point rhyme meet show with teacher? And I'm like, nah, that's cheating.

[42:57] Pearl Rhein: Oh yeah. The sweatiest rhymes. But it's all in Cockney, too. So it's off of me nine and laughter's me gain, and I'm happy to make off. There's actually only three consonants in the whole dialect.

[43:11] Andrew DeWolf: That's how they fall in love, though. You know?

[43:14] Pearl Rhein: Okay. I'm gonna say I'm maybe controversial opinion here.

[43:19] Andrew DeWolf: Oh no.

[43:20] Pearl Rhein: I did not ship them, but I shipped her and the little girl that really wanted to be her friend. I thought they had more romantic chemistry.

[43:25] Andrew DeWolf: Nah.

[43:31] Pearl Rhein: I did like he's like, hey, I'm gonna take advantage of you. And she's like, I want to take her home and feed her, because I want to be her friend.

[43:40] Andrew DeWolf: You're putting a lot, a lot of stuff into the show here that isn't there, all right.

[43:45] Pearl Rhein: You know what, Andrew? I maybe I have one character trait. One character trait Arthur has.

[43:49] Andrew DeWolf: And it's his name.

[43:53] Pearl Rhein: It's his name. And the other girl has one, many character traits. Her trait is being unlike her sister, going against the grain, wanting to help others, having empathy for people, believing in all that, and wanting to take this poor nasal belt.

[44:14] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, she's doing her best, girl. Like it's a very that's way too complex of a character for a love interest.

[44:21] Pearl Rhein: Nowhere near as nasally as her sister, though. Oh, that the actor who plays the sister is just doing everything. Every frame, she's like, it is important that you know I am a bitch, I am a classist, I am insufferable, I have this kind of accent.

[44:38] Andrew DeWolf: Is she just you could tell she did her own hair because her hair was better than anybody else's?

[44:43] Pearl Rhein: She really understood the assignment. She gave theater mom energy, meaning that her mom basically went through every single line and every movement and did her hair and was like, you're doing it like this. This is your one shot, Melissa.

[44:59] Andrew DeWolf: She was very coached. Don't fuck this up for us.

[45:02] Pearl Rhein: I mean, for you. You're paying the mortgage.

[45:10] Andrew DeWolf: What song's next here?

[45:12] Pearl Rhein: Um, don't talk to beggars.

[45:20] Andrew DeWolf: Try this on, it's just your style. The very thing to catch his eye. Make him smile. Make him sigh. Take your hand. Understand. You and I are of a kind. In this dress you're in the divine. And this hat is a refined such design. Ooh, such love. It's what you wear that makes you what you feel. Turn around and step up proud. Show 'em off and wear 'em loud. Draw a proud. Make them stand. It's what he wear that makes you what you feel.

[46:18] Pearl Rhein: Oh, that's those are the girls. Yeah, we're gonna talk with the girls. I like the song. I it maybe because it made me feel something other than like, oh, I'm bored. My favorite thing about this song is that it's five minutes long, and the two sisters are talking at each other, and the whole time the little match girl is just like, yeah.

[46:40] Andrew DeWolf: The staging is really rough. And she's like, too bad at her now. That's the issue with the Daddy Please Letter Stay song, too, where it's these daughters fighting about her, and then she's just also there giving a doll.

[47:03] Pearl Rhein: Anytime the match girl isn't on screen, we have to have them ask where's the match girl. Where's the match girl? Oh, there she is, just kind of standing there. Yep. Um, yeah, just chillin'.

[47:14] Andrew DeWolf: I guess we have to talk about the billboard top seller mistletoe wine.

[47:20] Pearl Rhein: Time for living, a time for believing, a time for trusting, and not for deceiving. Snow and smoke, a smile, and a joke to warm the hearts of good gentle.

[47:55] Andrew DeWolf: A time for rejoicing all everything. A time for giving.

[48:02] Pearl Rhein: A time for giving.

[48:04] Andrew DeWolf: A time for forgiving.

[48:07] Pearl Rhein: A time for forgiving. Christmas peace love. Christmas is peace. A time for making a fighting. Come on, reading now.

[48:39] Andrew DeWolf: That's the one that was a big song?

[48:41] Pearl Rhein: Yep, that one became really just.

[48:44] Andrew DeWolf: Was it a big song in the UK?

[48:46] Pearl Rhein: Yeah.

[48:48] Andrew DeWolf: There's like ten people in the UK.

[48:50] Pearl Rhein: Yeah. Like, that doesn't count.

[48:52] Andrew DeWolf: A lot of them support us on Patreon.

[48:56] Pearl Rhein: Like, at least four of the ten.

[48:58] Andrew DeWolf: At least four of the ten people support us.

[49:01] Pearl Rhein: Um, it's a Christmas song. Like it was pretty big. It has its own Wikipedia page.

[49:09] Andrew DeWolf: Wow. I mean, I guess it's its own wiki. I gotta see this.

[49:12] Pearl Rhein: It's not plot specific.

[49:14] Andrew DeWolf: Nope. Christmas time. Michael Ball and Alfie Bo covered it on their Christmas album this like last year.

[49:21] Pearl Rhein: Oh wow. Bree, play a little clip of that. Because those are some Broadway pedigrees.

[49:26] Andrew DeWolf: That is the most Broadway pedigree this musical probably has ever seen.

[49:33] Pearl Rhein: Christmas time.

[49:44] Andrew DeWolf: Rebongs on the fire. We see Christmas time. Mistletoe and wine.

[50:03] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, this was a hit, like a proper hit. I literally cannot remember it in the show at all. Like I'm sure it played, I'm sure, like, oh, that's the famous one. And then it's a good thing. It's always background. It's always like people singing outside the home.

[50:22] Andrew DeWolf: Then why did how did it become a hit?

[50:24] Pearl Rhein: Is the thing. Like, it's obviously not in service of this show. Maybe it's like kind of like how waving through a window kind of became a hit because no one really knew what that show is about.

[50:33] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, it's like it the lyrics are very generic. Christmas-y. You gotta you gotta read the background in the Wikipedia here.

[50:42] Pearl Rhein: Why don't you read it for us, Andrew?

[50:44] Andrew DeWolf: As originally conceived, mistletoe and wine had a different meaning from that which it has come to be known. The writers wanted a song that sounded like a Christmas carol, intending it to be sung ironically, while the little match girl is kicked out into the snow by the unfeeling middle classes. By the time the musical transferred to television, the song had become a lusty pub song sung by the local whore, as played by Twiggy.

[51:09] Pearl Rhein: Now is she canonically a sex worker?

[51:11] Andrew DeWolf: I think that's a good idea.

[51:12] Pearl Rhein: Apparently. Man, poor Twiggy, she won like a good good role here, or like her TV debut or whatever.

[51:22] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. But also, that actually is very parallel to waving through a window. It was initially written to be ironic and then was taken seriously.

[51:32] Pearl Rhein: You're right. What you're telling me is the little match girl is Dear Evan Hansen. They're the same show.

[51:39] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, don't it's not that bad. The little match girl has the ending that Dear Evan Hansen should have had.

[51:45] Pearl Rhein: I would fund that change petition to change Evan Hansen to freeze to death.

[51:52] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, well, imagining that he's living with the Murphy.

[51:58] Pearl Rhein: No, no, no. He likes a match. The first one is his dad comes back in the truck.

[52:04] Andrew DeWolf: Oh my god.

[52:05] Pearl Rhein: Second one is the Murphy. And the third one is him and Connor, like cuddled together, and then that's the one that he goes to heaven.

[52:07] Andrew DeWolf: He goes to heaven with Connor.

[52:15] Pearl Rhein: His mom holding the lifeless body.

[52:19] Andrew DeWolf: No, wouldn't it? And then she's like, No! She has to yell now.

[52:24] Pearl Rhein: Then Evan's like, Oi, oi, oi! I'm waving through a window!

[52:30] Andrew DeWolf: He fixed it! It's so much better now.

[52:33] Pearl Rhein: It's perfect. The worst part is if nobody saw the little match girl TV movie we're talking about. I wonder if this will make any sense or if we just sound like insane people.

[52:46] Andrew DeWolf: What other songs are worth talking about?

[52:49] Pearl Rhein: None of them.

[52:49] Andrew DeWolf: That's it.

[52:50] Andrew DeWolf: I I don't I I honestly past a certain point I can't remember any of the songs.

[52:56] Jess McInally: Oh yeah. Pearl, are there any other big hitting songs from this show that we need to talk about?

[53:01] Pearl Rhein: What how does the twiggy one go that she sings in the beer hall?

[53:05] Pearl Rhein: Choosing is easy if oh choosing is easy if hunger is your dread. If your ass is your asset, then I've never known what this word was. Something you're bed, uh it's just it's just it's a song about like playing loose and easy. And when I was a kid, this was so scandalous to me that and I remember very very well this uh this line when uh one of the one of the like stuffy old women is like, what are you doing back here? And she goes, Working! And I was like, that's what I want to do. Just be coarse and unpleasant.

[53:38] Andrew DeWolf: Man um you're living the dream.

[53:40] Pearl Rhein: Oh yeah. J uh like I honestly did love this portrayal of and I think this is a little bit groundbreaking. She is completely unapologetic and seems to be kind of doing well for herself. Yes, she's hanging around with like a guy who's very slowly murdering his child by not letting her into the house. But Yeah, that's not too bad. But she seems very self-possessed, and she's like, I like singing in the beer halls. Maybe she likes doing some sex work. If that like I don't know it, I don't know if the implication is that like every woman who sang in a beer hall was also turning tricks. Ever since Oliver, that's been the implication, sadly.

[54:22] Andrew DeWolf: Oh no, Oliver, that there's there's definitely be just beyond the the dialect, um, there are some parallels of like doomed women and snappy urchins.

[54:35] Jess McInally: Yep, yep. Better songs.

[54:37] Andrew DeWolf: Man, those three hand in hand. Doomed doomed bear bar maids, um snappy orphans and abusive men.

[54:45] Pearl Rhein: Oh yeah. That was a lot of my favorite uh properties as a kid. I'm gonna have to unpack that.

[54:50] Jess McInally: Oh, time to figure that one out in therapy.

[54:54] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[54:55] Jess McInally: On that note, what is everyone's thoughts on the little match girl and their cheese ratings? Pearl, do you want to go first?

[55:03] Pearl Rhein: I'm gonna be uh very honest. I don't fully understand the cheese rating system, and I would like a little refresher so that I can do it justice.

[55:11] Jess McInally: Literally any cheese you can try to justify as a rating, whether not good or bad.

[55:17] Pearl Rhein: Okay, it is just mostly us making fun of ranking systems to begin with.

[55:23] Jess McInally: I love that. I love that really speaks to me. I'm gonna I'm gonna give the little match girl um uh blue box macaroni and cheese cheese rating because I loved it as a kid. And as an adult, I I recognize its flaws. It is still nostalgic nostalgically appealing to me, but ultimately leaves me queasy.

[55:46] Andrew DeWolf: Really?

[55:47] Jess McInally: I didn't even get to that one. Why why did it leave it queasy?

[55:54] Pearl Rhein: I think honestly, I think that when you grow up with a lot of really old-fashioned, really retrograde entertainment, you get a lot of ideas about romantic relationships, especially heteronormative romantic relationships. And I think I think that can really seep in, and you can get some you can get some bad ideas, especially about those those angry men, those like angry attractive men and those kind of tragic beaten women. And I think that's actually not the greatest model to be giving to kids. And so I think if kids are gonna absorb entertainment like this, it should just come with some context and also some alternatives so that that's not the only model they get.

[56:40] Jess McInally: That's fair. That's good.

[56:42] Pearl Rhein: Cool good for me that I shipped her with the very kind girl though.

[56:46] Jess McInally: Exactly. Like that's where my brain was like that seems like the healthy relationship here.

[56:51] Pearl Rhein: Yeah, I think you take care of each other. I mean she likes her for the right reasons and their connection seems genuine. Uh so that's good. Alright Andrew, what's your thoughts and cheese reading?

[57:02] Andrew DeWolf: Um I I didn't like it. I don't I don't I didn't think it was very good to be honest. I couldn't follow it.

[57:07] Jess McInally: Um that's fair.

[57:10] Andrew DeWolf: And a lot of the songs were just people introducing themselves and honestly that just is kind of like a cat's vibe for me. Uh not my favorite um none nonetheless I'm going to give it a Cropwell Bishop Stilton cheese because uh that is just the most British sounding cheese I can find.

[57:27] Pearl Rhein: It is that's great.

[57:31] Andrew DeWolf: That sounds like it has chimney sweep ash in it.

[57:34] Pearl Rhein: It probably does honestly which which only furthers the reason that this should get it all right what do you think of our discussion in your cheese rating of that I think this discussion was perfect for Christmas um as this is our Christmas episode.

[57:49] Jess McInally: Oi.

[57:53] Andrew DeWolf: And I enjoyed having Pearl on the show once again uh and overall, I thought I thought it was great. Will I ever watch the Little Match Girl? Probably not.

[58:05] Jess McInally: That's the right takeaway.

[58:06] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. I enjoyed the discussion. Won't watch it though. I'm going to give this Saganaki because I'm going to use the little match from the Little Match Girl and light this cheese ablaze. That is my rating.

[58:21] Pearl Rhein: That's great. Not gonna lie, it took me three watches to get through this show. However, once I finally got there, I could see this being a really fun drinking game for like a late night Christmas thing. It's uh the American one. I don't think I can handle anything longer than the hour and 14-minute version.

[58:40] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, um, to be honest. But it's so wacky, so insane. I feel like if you drank and made fun of this, this would be a fun night. I know Pearl watched it with sincerity as a child. I don't think anyone right now really could. I'm very curious of her partner's review of it.

[58:57] Pearl Rhein: Oh, uh uh, I think the review was uh I am physically unable to follow the story of this movie.

[59:04] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, the same review Andrew gave it.

[59:05] Pearl Rhein: Yes. Um I was able to follow it just because I had seen other adaptations. I cannot imagine anyone else being able to pick it up. Um on that note, I am giving this easy Mac, or as I would like to call it, choosing is easy Mac.

[59:21] Jess McInally: I like that.

[59:22] Pearl Rhein: Because you gotta tie it in. Um Pearl, happy Christmas and whatever because Christmas episode. Please promote all your stuff for people to find you.

[59:32] Pearl Rhein: Oh, lovely. I am uh I'm currently in a Christmas carol at uh one of my favorite regional theaters, People's Light Theater in Malvern, Pennsylvania. And uh, if you don't live immediately in the area, you can get a streaming ticket on our website if you like. It is $25, and you can stream it as many times as you want. Um, there's also a demo recording of my solo in the show as Christmas uh Ghost of Christmas Past for available for free on the website, and it's kind of a lovely, sad, haunting folk song, as I like to do. So it's very fun. I've I my uh my character is kind of a weird, queer, impish, um Peter Pan-esque spirit, and I'm having a fucking blast playing. No typecasting here.

[1:00:19] Jess McInally: Right.

[1:00:20] Pearl Rhein: Yep.

[1:00:21] Jess McInally: Um, I would also like to promote some of your songwork. Um, including the more recent four pieces you did with the William Finn workshop.

[1:00:30] Pearl Rhein: Oh, yeah, thank you so much. Those were incredible. Um, the one I'm gonna actually have Brie play instead of our ending song is February Friend, which is probably one of my favorite pieces you've written, and I love a lot of your pieces.

[1:00:43] Jess McInally: So that will be what is playing at the end of this show as opposed to our usual outro. So enjoy that one, everybody.

[1:00:49] Pearl Rhein: Oh, that means a lot. Thank you so much.

[1:00:51] Jess McInally: Yes, um, because I do sincerely love your work and I love you as a person too. So isn't it great that I can do both?

[1:00:58] Pearl Rhein: Thank you.

[1:00:58] Jess McInally: Thank you guys. Um, but we also love you people listening, so please follow us on iTunes Spotify, Stitcher at Musicals with Cheese. We're on Twitter at Cheesy Musicals, we're on Patreon Musical Cheese, Instagram Musicals with Cheese, YouTube page musicals with cheese. We have a patron only podcast called Patreon with Cheese with me and Liz Eston. We're covering TV shows right now. Um, email us at musical theater lives at gmail.com. Our title card was created by the amazing Jolene Casco. Follow them on Instagram at Jolene Casco. Our keeper of the cheese is Julian Antonio. Thank you, Juliet, for keeping track of all of our cheese ratings, because God knows I wasn't gonna do it. This show is produced by the incredible, the wonderful, one of my best friends in the entire world, Brianna Joel. Um our theme songs were created by Rob and Nash of IOU Music UK. Thank you to the Broadway Podcast Network for having us on the platform and for not kicking us off for lighting too many matchsticks.

[1:01:49] Jess McInally: Alright, you guys, are you ready? What what what the fuck? I think that's all we have this week. Thank you for joining us, Pearl. This was honestly a joy.

[1:01:56] Pearl Rhein: Thank you for having me. It's always wonderful.

[1:01:59] Jess McInally: Okay. We'll see you next time on musicals with cheese. Merry Christmas, everybody. Have a have a happy matchstick on us this year.

[1:02:04] Pearl Rhein: Merry Christmas.

[1:02:24] ♪ Musical number: "February Friend" — performed by Pearl Rhein ♪