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[0:06] Jesse McAnally: Hello, I'm Jesse McAnally.

[0:09] Andrew DeWolf: And I'm Andrew DeWolf.

[0:11] Jesse McAnally: And I'm Liz Eston. And welcome to Musicals with Cheese, a podcast where I try to get Andrew and Liz to like musical theater.

[0:18] Andrew DeWolf: And today we're gonna take it back to the past to watch the shitty shows that suck.

[0:25] Jesse McAnally: Hey Cole Porter, how you doing?

[0:27] Andrew DeWolf: So, I'm getting on a boat soon.

[0:31] Jesse McAnally: Nice.

[0:32] Andrew DeWolf: What are you doing on the boat?

[0:34] Jesse McAnally: Just fucking around.

[0:37] Andrew DeWolf: Singing a few songs, maybe a wedding, maybe some racism.

[0:42] Jesse McAnally: Depends on which version you watch.

[0:44] Andrew DeWolf: Anything goes.

[0:51] Jesse McAnally: And we often rewound the clock. Since the Puritans got a shock.

[0:56] Andrew DeWolf: When they landed on Flynn Rock here today.

[1:01] Jesse McAnally: Any shock that you try to stand.

[1:12] Andrew DeWolf: In olden days a glimpse of stocking were looked on as something shocking.

[1:16] Jesse McAnally: But now Lord knows.

[1:19] Andrew DeWolf: Anything go wrong.

[1:22] Jesse McAnally: Good authors to who once knew better words.

[1:25] Andrew DeWolf: Now only use four-letter words.

[1:27] Jesse McAnally: Writing pro.

[1:30] Andrew DeWolf: Anything goes.

[1:32] Jesse McAnally: So Anything Goes is a musical with two giant quotation marks around it. Um written as a collaborative effort by Guy Bolton and P.G. Woodhouse. Do you remember that name, Andrew? It should ring a bell.

[1:38] Andrew DeWolf: P.G. Woodhouse?

[1:47] Jesse McAnally: No.

[1:48] Andrew DeWolf: Woadhouse.

[1:49] Jesse McAnally: Um, does the name By Jeeves mean anything to you?

[1:53] Andrew DeWolf: Jeeves and Wooster?

[1:55] Jesse McAnally: Wait, he was By Jeeves?

[1:57] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, he wrote the original Jeeves and Wooster books.

[2:01] Jesse McAnally: Like, so he didn't write the show By Jeeves.

[2:05] Andrew DeWolf: No, he was the source material for which By Jeeves was based on.

[2:09] Jesse McAnally: Sorry if I want to cover of my man G's from the 20s, and it's really funny. But you had me going for a second, though.

[2:16] Andrew DeWolf: I thought I thought that this was by the guy.

[2:19] Jesse McAnally: In like the 30s, and you know what? It was revised considerably by the team of Howard Lindsay and Russell Krauss. And then it was later revised by John Wideman and Timothy Krause in the 1987 revival, because you can put the other ones on stage. It was basically nonsense. But the music and lyrics are by Cole Porter in I mean, in a sort of way, because they were just kind of pop songs of the day that they just threw into this musical wherever they felt was right.

[2:45] Andrew DeWolf: Um the official Broadway debut was at the Alvin Theater on November 21st, 1934. It ran for 420 performances, becoming the fourth longest running musical of the 1930s, despite the impact of the Great Depression on Broadway's patrons' disposable income. The opening production was directed by Howard Lindsay with choreography by Ray Robert Alton and sets designed by Donald Oenslager.

[3:05] Jesse McAnally: Today the show remains a frequently revived favorite for some reason. The story concerns are madcap antics aboard an ocean liner bound to New York to London. Billy Crocker is a stowaway in love with Eris Hope Harcock, sometimes called a different name, who is engaged to Lord Evelyn Oakley, nightclub singer Reno Sweeney, and public enemy number 13 Moonface Martin. Aid Billy in his quest to win Hope.

[3:31] Andrew DeWolf: Um, sure. Sometimes that is not the plot, though, depending on which version you watch.

[3:38] Jesse McAnally: Okay, but that's the plot of the one we watched.

[3:40] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, we watched the new version.

[3:42] Jesse McAnally: Yes. However, uh it's it's so wild because it's gonna be hard to talk about this show for a thousand different reasons. Sometimes, when they adapted it to film, they just didn't adapt it.

[3:58] Andrew DeWolf: Like what like what?

[4:00] Jesse McAnally: Okay. The first film adaptation was oh gosh. Was in 1936, and it is kind of the original film. There's not almost none of the big plot things. People are called different names, things are in a different order. But you know what? Bing Crosby and Ethel Merman are there. That's great. Um then in 1956, they did another film version of Anything Goes with all the same songs and starring Bing Crosby again with a different name character and a whole different plot. Same songs, different, different, like almost nothing to do. It was written by Sidney Sheldon. Um, and the songs that they didn't like, they just cut out and replaced them with brand new songs. Um, and then you know what? We have the third version, which was the one released in theaters that we watched with Sutton Foster.

But let's not forget the 1954 television version that Ethel Merman came back for, um, reprising her role as Reno, um, and it was done live where her co-star was the one and only Frank Sinatra and Bert Lahr. Um, and it also changed a lot of it and a very different plot, and apparently Merman and Sinatra did not get along well, and it's near unwatchable. But you know the thing that all of them contain and thought, you know what, we should keep this. The racism.

[5:16] Andrew DeWolf: It's such an important plot element.

[5:20] Jesse McAnally: Really, it is. Really have to have it.

[5:22] Andrew DeWolf: It's not.

[5:23] Jesse McAnally: That's load-bearing racism right there, okay.

[5:28] Andrew DeWolf: Load-bearing racism.

[5:30] Jesse McAnally: But I don't like this clown.

[5:32] Andrew DeWolf: Uh I wouldn't take it down if I were you.

[5:34] Jesse McAnally: It's a load-bearing poster.

[5:37] Andrew DeWolf: Um so I had to get all that shit out the way so that I could say we're gonna focus on the 2011 revival production as our focus. And I don't really care that in the 1934 production someone had a different name or this song came in a different order. Or you know, there was racism. Like the original song Anything Goes had a lot of racist shit in it. We don't really want to talk about that stuff. We're gonna talk about the racist stuff that's still in it. Like a song with a slur in it. Just to just to be clear we're watching we watched the PBS great performances version from 2022.

[6:14] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[6:16] Jesse McAnally: So very recent. Um now that I got all that bullshit out of the way Andrew what'd you think of Anything Goes?

[6:16] Andrew DeWolf: Oh my god Anything Goes is kind of fine.

[6:27] Jesse McAnally: Yeah it's fine.

[6:27] Andrew DeWolf: Honestly like it's so it's like one of those musicals where like Jess said earlier it's musicals in quote in quotes because none of the songs really have anything to do or or not that it's not that they have nothing to do with the plot it's that they don't progress the plot in any real way.

[6:45] Jesse McAnally: Um it's just the show happens and then it stops so that they can sing.

[6:51] Andrew DeWolf: And that's about it.

[6:53] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[6:53] Andrew DeWolf: But the thing is you're you're so enthralled with the songs while it's happening you don't mind it that much.

[7:00] Jesse McAnally: I almost just would prefer if this were a review of Cole Porter songs.

[7:05] Andrew DeWolf: Because the plot the plot feels like it's intervening on the the the musical that I want to be watching.

[7:14] Jesse McAnally: So I you said musical is in quotes, and I feel like a plot should also be in quotes.

[7:20] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[7:21] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, what plot?

[7:23] Andrew DeWolf: Like, okay, so the plot of this is a effectively, you could describe it in like one sentence. Like, guy gets on a ship and wants to win a girl, and like that's it.

[7:36] Jesse McAnally: Like, really nothing else of importance is happening at all.

[7:40] Andrew DeWolf: There's a bunch of wacky hijinks, um, but like realistically, there's no plot.

[7:48] Jesse McAnally: The stakes are are will he get the girl or not?

[7:51] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, there's literally a mobster on board who's considered one of the most dangerous criminals, and no one gives a fuck.

[7:58] Jesse McAnally: He's not one of he's number 13, and they really care about number one of.

[8:02] Andrew DeWolf: I said he's one of. That's why I said that way.

[8:05] Jesse McAnally: Number 13's pretty low on the list.

[8:08] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[8:08] Jesse McAnally: Number 13 is pretty high.

[8:09] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I guess.

[8:11] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, there's only there's only like 15 of them though.

[8:13] Andrew DeWolf: I don't know. Like number 13's effectively the bottom.

[8:15] Jesse McAnally: That's true. I didn't know how many there were. I must have not paid attention.

[8:22] Andrew DeWolf: They discussed this in depth.

[8:23] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, clearly.

[8:24] Andrew DeWolf: Sorry.

[8:27] Jesse McAnally: Shut the fuck up, Andrew.

[8:29] Andrew DeWolf: Stop bullying her.

[8:31] Jesse McAnally: Um I will gaslight, I will gatekeep.

[8:34] Andrew DeWolf: I don't gaslight gatekeep, all those.

[8:38] Jesse McAnally: Girl boss.

[8:39] Andrew DeWolf: I'm girl boss.

[8:40] Jesse McAnally: You want to know?

[8:41] Andrew DeWolf: You guys are one of the other two.

[8:43] Jesse McAnally: You want to know the most ridiculous part of this musical to me.

[8:46] Andrew DeWolf: And maybe it's just to me.

[8:49] Jesse McAnally: Besides the racism?

[8:50] Andrew DeWolf: The racism we'll get to.

[8:52] Jesse McAnally: We'll get to it.

[8:54] Andrew DeWolf: So to be fair, the one we watched, the racism is toned very heavily down.

[8:59] Jesse McAnally: But it's kind of present. But I I will definitely p give uh a little clip show of all the school productions that decided, you know, it's just too damn important to cut that.

[9:09] Andrew DeWolf: That's just it's load-bearing racism. You can't remove that.

[9:15] Jesse McAnally: Jerry, these are load-bearing walls. They're not gonna come down.

[9:20] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, that's no good.

[9:22] Jesse McAnally: Um we'll get there. But the most baffling part is we start the scene with like Reno and Billy. Like, Reno's like, You're in love with me, right? And he's like, No, I'm not in love with you. And that that is just never brought up again.

[9:37] Andrew DeWolf: That is really.

[9:47] Jesse McAnally: And it's wild because the I'll get a kick out of you is like the first song. So it's like she sings this whole song about how she's in love with him, and then it's just not relevant ever again.

[10:00] Andrew DeWolf: It is truly one of the more baffling parts of it. Because you think, like, hey, maybe she's trying to go get him for the rest of the show, and she is not.

[10:08] Jesse McAnally: Also, she only gauge interest in him because he like treated her nicely as a friend and never made a pass at her, so he she assumed he was in love with her.

[10:17] Andrew DeWolf: He's like, oh girl, bring your like you deserve better than this.

[10:24] Jesse McAnally: You deserve better. Like, don't do the bare minimum.

[10:27] Andrew DeWolf: I hate that for this.

[10:28] Jesse McAnally: Like, that joke hits a little better when your actress is someone like Ethel Merman or Patti LuPone. You know, I'm not saying either of those women are unattractive, but they are kind of not a traditional, like, you know, bombshell the way that Sutton Foster is, where it's like any person would walk over hot fires for Sutton Foster.

[10:50] Andrew DeWolf: She looks incredible in this, by the way.

[10:52] Jesse McAnally: She looks so good. Every dance scene is uh and Andrew, you're gonna say I hate dance scenes.

[10:59] Andrew DeWolf: I was gonna say, is this part 17,000 of Aunt Jess Hates Dance Numbers?

[11:03] Jesse McAnally: I was thoroughly entertained by every extended dance break.

[11:10] Andrew DeWolf: I don't believe you.

[11:11] Jesse McAnally: He was like, he was like anything to get me away from the fucking plot.

[11:16] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, I will I will claim to enjoy dance numbers, so I don't have to talk about the plot.

[11:21] Jesse McAnally: Get me away from Moonface, please.

[11:25] Andrew DeWolf: Fucking Moonface.

[11:27] Jesse McAnally: Get me away from Bonnie slash Irma, please.

[11:31] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, Moonface actually sucks. Like, this is a character that doesn't belong here. I don't understand what's going on with him.

[11:40] Jesse McAnally: So, Moonface in the original production was played by Victor Moore, who is a very famous comedy performer doing his shtick. Like he was hired to just do his bits, and they wrote to his bits. And now every production after that is someone else pretending to do that old vaudevillian comedian's bits.

[12:04] Andrew DeWolf: And yeah, it it's it's embarrassing. There have been some very interesting people that have played that role that I would have liked to have seen instead of this. You know, folks like uh Joel Grey or uh Kenneth Mars.

[12:19] Jesse McAnally: Those posts are.

[12:21] Andrew DeWolf: Rip Taylor.

[12:22] Jesse McAnally: No, that's not the Rip Taylor I'm thinking of.

[12:24] Andrew DeWolf: No, no, you're thinking of Rip Torn.

[12:26] Jesse McAnally: I'm thinking Rip Torn.

[12:28] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, Rip Torn in that role. This is really a vaudeville kind of uh show, isn't it?

[12:35] Jesse McAnally: Yeah. Like, it's it's it's heavy in that.

[12:39] Andrew DeWolf: Um I don't know if anyone else. No one else has ever brought this up. But it bothers me. Um everyone there's a character who is like the main character's boss, who isn't a main character, but you know, is named a lot called Eli Whitney.

[12:56] Jesse McAnally: Elijah Whitney something. Do you guys know who who Eli Whitney is?

[13:02] Andrew DeWolf: The inventor of the cotton gin.

[13:04] Jesse McAnally: Yes. Is that like some deep racist joke that I I like they're trying to make a gross racist joke there?

[13:13] Andrew DeWolf: I don't even know.

[13:14] Jesse McAnally: I don't know. Like you can name that character anything, and you pick the inventor of the cotton gin. And considering all the other things you're doing in this musical.

[13:25] Jesse McAnally: I don't know. It's an interesting reference. And by interesting, I mean suspicious or questionable. I mean, here's the thing. There's no plot. It meanders for a bit, you get a bunch of Cole Porter songs, they have the like basis line justification for why they're singing. You have a good time, you go home, and you don't unpack any of that, and you think, wow, Sutton Foster's legs can sure dance.

[13:54] Andrew DeWolf: Damn right. Do we want to just I can quickly just do the actual plot.

[13:57] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, let's do the plot actual plot summary for the audience who probably don't. There's the dude. His name's the main dude.

[14:02] Andrew DeWolf: Billy.

[14:03] Jesse McAnally: His name's Billy. Billy Billy Crocker. He's got this girl that he doesn't love, but he is a different girl that he does love. And somehow, like his boss. No, no, hang on. His boss is going on a ship and it's going to London. But the girl that he likes is also going on the ship that's going to London. So then he goes on the ship. He doesn't have to be a few minutes. The other girl he doesn't like is also on that ship for some fucking reason. Who the fuck knows why? I don't know. She's performing. And then also, there's just a wanted criminal just on the ship as well. Um and then the guy has to try to win over the girl. But the wanted criminal is pretending to be a priest. That's not that's not important.

[14:59] Andrew DeWolf: That's not important.

[14:59] Jesse McAnally: Well, no, it's important because Billy thinks he's a priest and he thinks he's helping out a priest, but he's really helping out a bad guy, but then the bad guy reveals himself to be a bad thing. He very quickly reveals himself to be a mobster, and Billy is literally like, cool, that's fine. Like it doesn't even affect the city. He continues to help him.

[15:15] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[15:16] Jesse McAnally: Um, and honestly, the entire ship finds out he's a mobster and doesn't give a fuck. So who cares? He's not the number one criminal, so who gives a shit?

[15:26] Andrew DeWolf: So okay. We're gonna keep going. Hang on. Come on, continuing on.

[15:29] Jesse McAnally: Okay, so she is that he's and she's engaged. Don't forget that she's engaged.

[15:34] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, I'm about to say that the girl that he likes is trying, not trying, she doesn't want to get married, but she is engaged to get married to some weird British guy.

[15:45] Jesse McAnally: Evelyn Oakley. It turns out the weird British guy, which is sort of unlike these stories, is actually he's kind of a cool guy.

[15:53] Andrew DeWolf: He's like a fine guy.

[15:54] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, but she doesn't really like him that much. Um, so then Hajinxon sues, the girl that he the girl that Billy doesn't like at the start, does like the British guy, and then there's a but she only starts to like him after she was trying to seduce him to make the girl Joe. And it didn't work.

[16:12] Andrew DeWolf: And it didn't work.

[16:14] Jesse McAnally: So she actually started liking the guy.

[16:16] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[16:17] Jesse McAnally: This so Bella's negging, it's a real strategy. This show says so.

[16:21] Andrew DeWolf: Men everywhere. Don't listen to him. Negging is bullshit.

[16:25] Jesse McAnally: Negging. Never neg a woman.

[16:28] Andrew DeWolf: I can't believe you'd say that.

[16:30] Jesse McAnally: I mean, given your taste. Why would why would you even I I'm is that what negging is?

[16:36] Andrew DeWolf: Did I do it right?

[16:37] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, you did it right, and I'm mad.

[16:40] Andrew DeWolf: So that's an indication.

[16:42] Jesse McAnally: I'm sorry. I think any guy who thinks negging would work should absolutely be a good one.

[16:43] Andrew DeWolf: Any guy who thinks negging could work should literally never go near a woman. Like, don't even try.

[16:53] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, of course you'd say something like that.

[16:58] Andrew DeWolf: I think on my fuck.

[17:02] Jesse McAnally: I'm sorry.

[17:04] Andrew DeWolf: I love you so much, Wiz.

[17:05] Jesse McAnally: I'm sorry. Damn.

[17:08] Andrew DeWolf: Jess, I'm gonna send my boyfriend to kill him.

[17:11] Jesse McAnally: And I will deserve it.

[17:17] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, a bunch of funny shit happens. I'm actually fine, don't worry. I'm fine. They sing and dance for another hour, and then the finale happens and they all get married.

[17:27] Jesse McAnally: You're forgetting. There's also a there's a third girl that gets married to multiple men because.

[17:32] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, yeah, yeah. There's the girl the moon face is with who just fucks all the sailors and she sings a song about how if they want to date her, they need like a lot of money, and then she just keeps fucking all of them.

[17:43] Jesse McAnally: So it's a second to last song in the show. It's very weird.

[17:47] Andrew DeWolf: I don't know. You're forgetting that the most important couple, and that is the boss and the girl's mom.

[17:56] Jesse McAnally: No, no, no, no. The most important couple is the girl's mom and the dog that spends most of the show in the ocean.

[18:01] Andrew DeWolf: Um, yes.

[18:02] Jesse McAnally: The pool.

[18:03] Andrew DeWolf: The pool, I mean.

[18:06] Jesse McAnally: We're supposed to think they threw them into the ocean because all we hear is a splash.

[18:10] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[18:11] Jesse McAnally: But they actually threw them in the pool. Also, before it's thrown in the pool, it's in Moonface's pants.

[18:16] Andrew DeWolf: Um, that's a different part of that scene.

[18:18] Jesse McAnally: It's weird.

[18:18] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, and then it he makes it look like he's jerking off, but actually he's got a dog in his own.

[18:18] Jesse McAnally: He's got a dog in there, and they shaved the dog so he can have a fake the as the main guy could have a fake beard.

[18:28] Andrew DeWolf: And then at the end the dog comes back.

[18:30] Jesse McAnally: So everything's about. That's actually where where the saying you have a dog in you, that the you know, that's where that saying came from.

[18:38] Andrew DeWolf: I thought it came from porn.

[18:39] Jesse McAnally: Um I just made it up right now, so I I believe that.

[18:39] Andrew DeWolf: I believe that.

[18:44] Jesse McAnally: Well, Andrew, you did correctly predict that the origins of Shake Shack were from the Grease musical. You did that was right.

[18:50] Andrew DeWolf: So yeah.

[18:53] Jesse McAnally: And Andrew's good at that. He was drunk when he said that too.

[18:55] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, you were drunk as fuck when you said that too.

[18:57] Jesse McAnally: And I Googled it and you were correct. Um, I do want to point out that the moment that I almost said we're not covering this show anymore, happened almost 10 minutes before it ended. And that was where she's like, what was it doing in the pool? And the entire stage, every character says the doggy paddle, and I'm like, and I just imagined every low-budget local theater doing that, and the cringe I felt in my soul for the last 90 years of those people saying the doggy paddle made me want to emulate myself on the street.

[19:34] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, I thought you were gonna say the racism made you not want to do it.

[19:37] Jesse McAnally: Um, the racism made me want to do it because it's something to talk about. Should I talk about it briefly?

[19:43] Andrew DeWolf: The doggy paddle joke is funny.

[19:46] Jesse McAnally: It's funny.

[19:47] Andrew DeWolf: No, it isn't.

[19:48] Jesse McAnally: It's hilarious.

[19:49] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, you wouldn't. The way everyone everyone yells out the doggy joke.

[19:55] Jesse McAnally: It's a communal experience.

[19:59] Andrew DeWolf: And the audience could communally cringe.

[20:02] Jesse McAnally: Cringe?

[20:03] Andrew DeWolf: I laughed.

[20:04] Jesse McAnally: Me, me personally, I clapped.

[20:10] Andrew DeWolf: I clapped.

[20:11] Jesse McAnally: I started doing the doggy paddle in my seat.

[20:15] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, yeah. I mean, some of the some of the jokes are pretty fucking corny.

[20:19] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[20:20] Andrew DeWolf: Like, let's be real here. The show is corny as fuck.

[20:23] Jesse McAnally: Alright, can we uh pause for a moment and talk about the actual worst joke in it?

[20:28] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, yes. What is it?

[20:29] Jesse McAnally: Only if I can follow it up with the actual, actual worst joke in it.

[20:32] Andrew DeWolf: But you first.

[20:33] Jesse McAnally: I don't have a worst joke, uh, because I they all went over my head because I ignored them.

[20:37] Andrew DeWolf: Maybe we have the same one Jess, but mine is when they pretend that they fuck up halfway through one of the songs.

[20:45] Jesse McAnally: Yes! That's the worst joke.

[20:49] Andrew DeWolf: Because it's sudden Foxy's. Even the audience wasn't laughing.

[20:52] Jesse McAnally: Is that just what Sutton Foster does when she's on Bravo?

[20:55] Andrew DeWolf: Because we talked about this in the Music Man.

[20:58] Jesse McAnally: Did she do this in the Music Man?

[21:00] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, we did a whole rant about it and how she and Hugh Jackman fucking intentionally break so the audience applauds and they think they had a moment, but it's not a moment.

[21:10] Jesse McAnally: It's fake.

[21:11] Andrew DeWolf: They're lying to you.

[21:13] Jesse McAnally: Oh.

[21:14] Andrew DeWolf: But they did it here too.

[21:16] Jesse McAnally: And and the way she laughs is so clearly like rehearsed.

[21:20] Andrew DeWolf: It isn't even real.

[21:21] Jesse McAnally: She has such a big kind of ha! Full mouth open, teeth out laugh.

[21:26] Andrew DeWolf: The funny thing is, like, I saw Mean Girls on Broadway back in like 2018. And there is a moment where Taylor Adaman and Erica Henningson are in the bathroom scene at the end, and they legitimately break.

[21:38] Jesse McAnally: Like it's a genuine break in the middle of the scene, and that was a hundred percent real.

[21:44] Andrew DeWolf: And it's like, oh, this is just fake.

[21:46] Jesse McAnally: This for the anything goes is just fake as shit. Same with the music, man.

[21:50] Andrew DeWolf: I think God, Sunton Foster. Is this just something you do?

[21:54] Jesse McAnally: Did you do this in Shrek?

[21:56] Andrew DeWolf: Speaking of ruining people, how about we compare our opinions to those of the theater critics over over all over the world?

[22:03] Jesse McAnally: Um It's time for previews.

[22:09] Andrew DeWolf: It's time for previews.

[22:12] Jesse McAnally: So I pulled one review from the 30s, because I find it very fascinating to read uh reviews from almost a hundred years ago.

[22:20] Andrew DeWolf: Okay.

[22:21] Jesse McAnally: I mean, that's fair. And I know we don't do this much.

[22:24] Andrew DeWolf: I hope they who's I hope they use funny words.

[22:26] Jesse McAnally: Um, so yeah. This is from the one and only Brooks Atkinson, written November 22nd, 1934.

[22:32] Andrew DeWolf: Um, the title was Anything Goes as long as Victor Moore, Ethel Merman, and William Gaxton are present.

[22:40] Jesse McAnally: Um, I imagine, Andrew, why don't you do a funny effect on my voice and add some old timing music to this?

[22:46] Andrew DeWolf: Sure. We'll add a little radio effect.

[22:49] Jesse McAnally: By keeping that sense of humor uppermost, they have made the thundering good musical show out of anything goes, which was put on at the album last evening. They are Guy Bolton and P. G. Wodehouse, whose humor is completely unhackneyed, Hole Porter, who has written a dashing score with impish lyrics, and Howard Lindsay and Russell Krause, who have been revising the jokes in person.

[23:12] Andrew DeWolf: After all, these Superman must have had a good deal to do with the skylarking that makes anything go such hilarious and dynamic entertainment.

[23:20] Jesse McAnally: But what a show is off the shelf at the up the top shelf of the pantry cupboard is hard to remember that the comics have not written all the jokes, and the singers have not composed all the ex exultant tunes.

[23:32] Andrew DeWolf: If Ethel Merman did not write If I get a kick out of you, and also the title song of the show, she has made them hers now by swinging gusto of her platform style.

[23:41] Jesse McAnally: Do you remember a pathetic, unsteady little man who answers to the name of Alexander Thuddlebottom?

[23:47] Andrew DeWolf: Masquerading in program That's not a real person.

[23:57] Jesse McAnally: Masquerading in the program as Victor Moore, he is the first clown of this festival, and he is tremendously funny, for it has occurred to the Wastrels who wrote the book to represent him as a gangster disguised as a parson to place him on a liner bound for Europe.

[24:11] Andrew DeWolf: Among the other passengers are a Nightcloud enchantress who sings with the swaggering authority of Ethel Merman, and a roystering man about town who enjoys the infectious exuberance of William Gaxton.

[24:22] Jesse McAnally: There is also a lady of considerable breeding who can sing the soprano of Betina Hill Hall.

[24:30] Andrew DeWolf: Dude, the 30s were a time, man.

[24:33] Jesse McAnally: I'm not gonna lie, this feels like a AI generated a little bit.

[24:39] Andrew DeWolf: You're the top is one of the most congenial songs Mr. Porter has ever written, and Mr. Gaxton and Miss Merman put their toes as well as their voices into it.

[24:47] Jesse McAnally: Although Miss Hall has a nicer talent, she plays the part of a girl exalted station with winning good humor, and she sings all through the night with the thrilling beauty of a trained artist.

[24:57] Andrew DeWolf: For minor diversion, there is a foursome of dry humored sailors for whom Mr. Porter has written a droll chanty, count as items worth sober consideration, a platoon of chorus girls, whose dancing is also well planned, a suite of old slagger settings, a wardrobe full of guns by Jenkins, and a general good time.

[25:16] Jesse McAnally: Guy Bolden and P. G. Wonehouse are always funny fellows.

[25:20] Andrew DeWolf: It does no harm to be associated with Cole Porter.

[25:22] Jesse McAnally: Howard Lindsay, Russell Krauss, and a thundering good song and dance show.

[25:29] Andrew DeWolf: That is ridiculous.

[25:30] Jesse McAnally: That that was I know we make fun of Ben Brantley a lot, but I I feel like that man said the same thing in every paragraph.

[25:40] Andrew DeWolf: I I think the 1930s were just a very very, very different time.

[25:46] Jesse McAnally: This is just this was peak entertainment.

[25:48] Andrew DeWolf: Like there was nothing better.

[25:50] Jesse McAnally: Like saying a woman is a peak breeding was a compliment back then.

[25:54] Andrew DeWolf: Like Well, I mean, she was very breedable.

[25:57] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, she clear Submissive and breathable even.

[26:00] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[26:01] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[26:02] Andrew DeWolf: And then you could just say things like the jokes in anything goes are unhackneyed.

[26:07] Jesse McAnally: You know, you could just say that.

[26:09] Andrew DeWolf: You could just like make shit up out of thin air and just say it in your review.

[26:13] Jesse McAnally: Like, I think my favorite.

[26:18] Andrew DeWolf: Favorite word in there, and I know we're gonna latch on to this for a while, is when he takes like Gaxton's name and he makes it like Gaxolodafone.

[26:27] Jesse McAnally: Gaxiolowphone.

[26:29] Andrew DeWolf: Loa phone, which is ridiculous.

[26:31] Jesse McAnally: You know what's great though is someday, someday we're gonna sound like this.

[26:35] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[26:36] Jesse McAnally: Yes. People will look into this in the old Jedi records and be like, wow, that's what people listen to for entertainment before they can just drill drill holes in their head and just have Elon Musk tell them that they're that the slurs right to their brain.

[26:50] Andrew DeWolf: It's true.

[26:51] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, Elon Musk will be ageless.

[26:53] Andrew DeWolf: Um, one last thing before our mid show, and that is the letterbox game, but I'm gonna go speed round.

[26:57] Jesse McAnally: Andrew versus Liz.

[26:58] Andrew DeWolf: This is a game where I read real letterbox reviews, and Liz and Andrew have to guess whether they're a one-star or five-star based on the review alone.

[27:04] Jesse McAnally: Are you ready?

[27:06] Andrew DeWolf: So ready.

[27:07] Liz: I'm born ready for letterbox.

[27:08] Andrew DeWolf: We're stretching.

[27:09] Liz: We're ready.

[27:10] Jesse McAnally: Alright. Andrew, you're first.

[27:12] Andrew DeWolf: Okay.

[27:14] Jesse McAnally: Anything really does go, doesn't it?

[27:16] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[27:16] Jesse McAnally: Five stars.

[27:17] Andrew DeWolf: Correct.

[27:18] Jesse McAnally: Liz.

[27:19] Liz: Yes.

[27:20] Jesse McAnally: Dance, dance, dance.

[27:21] Liz: All lowercase.

[27:22] Jesse McAnally: Uh five.

[27:23] Liz: One.

[27:24] Jesse McAnally: Andrew.

[27:25] Andrew DeWolf: Ooh.

[27:27] Jesse McAnally: I see under London.

[27:28] Andrew DeWolf: I see France.

[27:29] Andrew DeWolf: I've seen you all without your underpants.

[27:32] Jesse McAnally: Five.

[27:34] Andrew DeWolf: That is correct.

[27:34] Jesse McAnally: Liz!

[27:35] Liz: Yes.

[27:36] Jesse McAnally: The humor holds up while the Asian stereotypes do not.

[27:40] Liz: One.

[27:41] Jesse McAnally: That is a five.

[27:46] Andrew DeWolf: Okay. You're on the way to a clean sweep, Andrew.

[27:46] Andrew DeWolf: I'm not good at these.

[27:50] Jesse McAnally: Awkward monkey puppet avoiding eye contact.png at that racist final act.

[27:56] Andrew DeWolf: Barf emoji.

[27:57] Jesse McAnally: I know exactly the gift that they're talking about. Um, we're gonna go one.

[28:02] Andrew DeWolf: That's a one.

[28:03] Jesse McAnally: That is a five, Liz!

[28:05] Liz: Well, yes.

[28:07] Jesse McAnally: The amount of hijinks in the show are unreal.

[28:10] Andrew DeWolf: Five.

[28:11] Jesse McAnally: That is correct. You're on the board.

[28:13] Andrew DeWolf: God.

[28:14] Jesse McAnally: Andrew.

[28:15] Andrew DeWolf: Yep.

[28:16] Jesse McAnally: Who catfished it?

[28:17] Jesse McAnally: Was catfished into thinking this was in color.

[28:21] Andrew DeWolf: Well, uh, one star.

[28:24] Jesse McAnally: That is correct.

[28:25] Liz: Last one.

[28:27] Jesse McAnally: Anything though?

[28:28] Liz: Dot dot dot.

[28:29] Jesse McAnally: Ooh. Anything goes.

[28:31] Liz: Anything goes?

[28:33] Jesse McAnally: Uh, one.

[28:35] Liz: That is correct.

[28:36] Jesse McAnally: And with a score of two to three, Andrew, you won this one.

[28:39] Andrew DeWolf: That was closer than I thought it would be.

[28:42] Jesse McAnally: I did good job to all teams.

[28:52] Jesse McAnally: Hey guys, sorry to interrupt you in the middle of the show, but we've got a show on you. Today's show is brought to you by the extremely kind donations by our donors over at Patreon. Andrew, tell us a little bit about Patreon and who is supporting us there.

[29:02] Andrew DeWolf: Oh man, Patreon's where you can go if you want to give us a little extra support and also get some extra content. You can see the video episodes, which give you, you know, extra just just extra content that we cut out of the show.

[29:16] Andrew DeWolf: I can tell you this right now. There's gonna be a lot of extra stuff that was cut out of our Death Note episode.

[29:23] Jesse McAnally: Oh yes. Um spicy stuff.

[29:27] Andrew DeWolf: If you want some spicy, spicy meatballs, that's a good one to check out. Um Melissa Goldman, Daniel Rennix, Justice Stampede, Ewan Cassidy, Monica Thoreau, Brent Black, with Thanksgiving, Joseph Evans Green, Mary Lucia Cat, John Van Alz, Russ Walker, Musical Hell, Emily Gracie, Kyle Summers, Janae C, Scoot and the Technical Dream Code.

[29:48] Andrew DeWolf: Nothing is certain except Beth and Taxis, Thesbian, and Robert Benjamin, Jessica T, Mitchell Young, Chai Tacup, Chris Marcote, uh, Kiji Marie Anastasio, Trivi Joe Joseph, RJ Noriga, Julia McLannan, Bjorn Hermans, Toriana Fraser, Sammy the Attic With Amount Jacobson, Kaylee Blazier, uh Cinemageddon Reviews, Villa Smith, Sophina Elie, the Omega Geek, Page Pearson, Maddie Wargle, Eliza Erdman, Anna Loscatova, Sarah Den Blaker, uh Evan Ball, Zachary Therese, Rora Morasso, Mara Fulloin, Lisa L, Possessed Washing Machine, Nick Roe Ten, uh Puffy Boy, Sidney Hicks, Annabelle, Billy Clifton, Gold Plated Kigimora, uh, Julia Baldur's daughter, Hutt Muttbutt, Emma, Dude 2.0, Matt and Sabella Stang.

[30:37] Andrew DeWolf: They all give us some money to keep the lights on here, musicals and cheese, and help us do better than we currently are and get things out at a higher rank. Um, you liked our wicked little trailer breakdown. Uh, we can do more things of that by you supporting us at Patreon.

[30:51] Andrew DeWolf: Also, we have a lot of cool stuff over at Patreon. We have commentaries on both Camp Rock movies. Me and Andrew just did a commentary on Angels in the Outfield. Liz and I have a lot of content over there, and hopefully some new ones coming up there soon.

[31:04] Andrew DeWolf: It's a cavalcade of comedy over there on our Patreon, and y'all missing out if you're not there. As well, we have the Discord server, which is very active and full of good people. So come on and join us.

[31:16] Jesse McAnally: Come on and slam and welcome to the jam.

[31:19] Andrew DeWolf: Alright, let's get on with the show.

[31:28] Jesse McAnally: Um, I get a kick out of you.

[31:37] Jesse McAnally: My story is much too sad to be told.

[31:42] Jesse McAnally: The practically everything leaves me totally cold.

[31:50] Jesse McAnally: The only exception I know is the case when I'm out on a quiet spree, fighting vainly the old on we and I suddenly turn and see fabulous.

[32:22] Jesse McAnally: So tell me why should it be true that I get a kick out of you?

[32:34] Jesse McAnally: Some get a kick from cocaine.

[32:40] Jesse McAnally: I'm sure that if I took even one sniff, that would bore me terrific.

[32:57] Jesse McAnally: I get no kick from cocaine.

[33:02] Andrew DeWolf: Well, if it's the problem song with this show, all the songs we kind of have connections with outside of a musical theater context. It is a jukebox musical by all accounts at this point.

[33:14] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, even though, like, maybe a lot of these came from this.

[33:18] Andrew DeWolf: I don't actually know. Were they pop songs before?

[33:22] Jesse McAnally: Some were, some weren't? It's it's it's confusing. They're all Cole Porter songs, and some of them he wrote for it, some of them he didn't.

[33:28] Andrew DeWolf: Well, regardless, I get a kick out of you, even though it literally has nothing to do with the show and is even contradictory, like one minute after they sing it.

[33:35] Jesse McAnally: Yep. Great fucking song.

[33:39] Andrew DeWolf: I think I texted you while I was watching it the first time. I'm like, every song is a fucking bop. They have nothing to do with the story.

[33:48] Jesse McAnally: I had not watched it at the time, so I was just like, okay, well, I'll see. And then I started watching it and I was like, damn, they yeah, they really they just sing for no reason. Um, I don't think this is the most egregious one in the story, but it is it's pretty random and pretty like oh Zach it sets the tone for like the expectation of the songs.

[34:09] Andrew DeWolf: I get a kick out of you. Great fucking song, but you already knew that.

[34:12] Jesse McAnally: Like, let's be real. You already love this song.

[34:15] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. If you love musical theater, even if you've never seen this, I'm sure you like this song.

[34:20] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[34:21] Andrew DeWolf: And then of course we have um the I think it's the best punchline ever is when they sing in Blazing Saddles. I don't know if anyone else remembers that, but that is truly hilarious.

[34:34] Jesse McAnally: I get no kick from champagne.

[34:41] Jesse McAnally: Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all.

[34:47] Jesse McAnally: So tell me why should it be true that I get a belt out of you.

[35:01] Andrew DeWolf: Song get a kick from Coca-Cola.

[35:07] Jesse McAnally: Hold it, hold it. What the hell is that shit?

[35:11] Andrew DeWolf: How about we move on to You're the Top.

[35:16] Jesse McAnally: You're the nine.

[35:18] Andrew DeWolf: Tell me, tell me.

[35:19] Jesse McAnally: You're the tower, Pisa.

[35:22] Andrew DeWolf: I are the smile of the Mona Lisa.

[35:28] Jesse McAnally: I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop, but a baby, I'm the bottom.

[35:36] Andrew DeWolf: You're the top.

[35:44] Jesse McAnally: You're the top.

[35:45] Andrew DeWolf: Come to me, come to me.

[35:47] Jesse McAnally: You're the Eiffel Tower.

[35:50] Andrew DeWolf: You're the top.

[35:53] Jesse McAnally: Oh, you're on Napleshaw.

[35:57] Andrew DeWolf: You're the leading men in the season's ten best plays.

[36:02] Jesse McAnally: You're the voice of Dino Yor Durezden China.

[36:05] Andrew DeWolf: You're a boy base.

[36:16] Jesse McAnally: You're the top.

[36:19] Andrew DeWolf: You're a Yankee Doodle.

[36:22] Jesse McAnally: I'm a case of gout.

[36:24] Andrew DeWolf: A bee without a prop.

[36:27] Jesse McAnally: But a baby. I'm the bottom.

[36:29] Andrew DeWolf: You're the top.

[36:31] Jesse McAnally: It's about gay, right?

[36:33] Andrew DeWolf: It's about being gay.

[36:34] Jesse McAnally: Cole Porter was a very gay man, so that this has to be about gay sex, right?

[36:39] Andrew DeWolf: Uh yeah. It definitely could be.

[36:42] Jesse McAnally: I mean, clearly those lyrics. You're the top. I mean, that that is a particular meaning in certain circles, so.

[36:48] Andrew DeWolf: Also, the chorus is if you're the of I'm the bottom, you're the top. Thus indicating gay sex might happen.

[36:55] Jesse McAnally: Yes. So it's it I mean, he was kind of known for stuff like that, but baby, if I'm the bottom, you're the top.

[37:04] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. Yeah, that means they're about to fuck in some readings.

[37:09] Jesse McAnally: I like the song. It does kind of like Reno just kind of bumps into uh Billy and is like, oh hey you, we're buds, right? And he's like, Yeah, we're buds, and they sing the song. That's it.

[37:20] Andrew DeWolf: It's it really is wild. Like, just some of these songs are just literally out of absolutely nowhere.

[37:30] Jesse McAnally: Like they just characters will just bump into each other, yeah, and then she's like, hey, you want to just like sing a song about how we're best buds? And she's like, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

[37:38] Andrew DeWolf: The best part about the Wikipedia page for this show is there's a song, there's a section under musical numbers where they mention the context in each version that each song is performed in, and half the time it's completely different.

[37:52] Jesse McAnally: Yep. That's why I had my big letter angry rant at the beginning. I had my big long rant at the beginning. I'm like, every version's kinda different.

[38:01] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, your high school probably put on a different version. Yours probably had the weird moment where the white men dress up as Asians and do really horrendous accents.

[38:12] Jesse McAnally: Yup. It was bad then and it's bad today.

[38:16] Andrew DeWolf: A lot of racism here.

[38:17] Jesse McAnally: So anything goes.

[38:19] Andrew DeWolf: Anything goes.

[38:27] Jesse McAnally: The world is all mad today.

[38:29] Andrew DeWolf: It does that today, it's like today.

[38:31] Jesse McAnally: Today's night today with those guys today that win the ties today.

[39:22] Andrew DeWolf: It's my favorite song from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

[39:27] Jesse McAnally: I really actually like this song. I think it's a lot of fun. Um it sucks that the earlier versions had like a really racist fucking verse.

[39:36] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, let's let's bring that up.

[39:40] Jesse McAnally: So, yes, in the original version of the song, there's a line that goes basically about black men. Um, where it says, When ladies fair who seek affection prefer a slur of dark complexion, anything goes. Um, Cole Porter is a weird guy who might have thought that was a very progressive lyric. Uh it's clearly about uh like interracial.

[40:09] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[40:10] Jesse McAnally: Um interracial love making, which Cole Porter was a man that liked to fuck a lot of black men, um, by a lot of accounts.

[40:19] Andrew DeWolf: So is the song "Anything Goes"? Is it like sarcastic, like, geez, I guess anything goes now, or is it like, uh, they're happy about it?

[40:28] Jesse McAnally: I think it's joyous "Anything Goes," but in the context, why the fuck is it in the story? Why are the sailors dancing to it? What's going on? Why do we care about a hint of stalking? They're all just having a good time, okay? They're all having a grand old time. Let's all fuck everybody. Anything goes.

[40:47] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, there's a gangster in the boat. Who gives a shit? Honestly, uh, on some level, like we're talking about this like it's a flaw, but on some level it's just kind of fun.

[40:56] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[40:56] Andrew DeWolf: But they just sing whenever the fuck they want, and it doesn't matter.

[41:01] Jesse McAnally: Um, well, let's talk about, uh, one elephant in the room that they have not addressed, and they could very easily address.

[41:11] Andrew DeWolf: Okay.

[41:11] Jesse McAnally: There is a song in the 1962 version of "Anything Goes," not the '30s one, but only in 1962, called "Let's Misbehave."

[41:23] Andrew DeWolf: I like a man with class and dignity and savoir faire.

[41:31] Jesse McAnally: It's getting late, and while I wait, my poor heart aches on.

[41:39] Andrew DeWolf: Why keep the brakes on?

[41:43] Jesse McAnally: Let's misbehave.

[41:47] Andrew DeWolf: I feel quite sure I'm headed more would be attractive.

[41:55] Jesse McAnally: While we still act in "Let's Misbehave."

[42:03] Andrew DeWolf: You know my heart is true, and you say you for me care.

[42:12] Jesse McAnally: Someone shouldn't tell.

[42:15] Andrew DeWolf: But what the hell do we care?

[42:20] Jesse McAnally: They say that spring means just one thing.

[42:24] Andrew DeWolf: Two little love birds.

[42:28] Jesse McAnally: Who in the double birds?

[42:32] Andrew DeWolf: Let's misbehave.

[42:35] Jesse McAnally: That was set to replace a song called "The Mama Rose" musical title, and in me.

[42:44] Andrew DeWolf: It's the Oakley family secret.

[42:47] Jesse McAnally: There's something dark and savage in our blood.

[42:52] Andrew DeWolf: In mine, especially.

[42:55] Jesse McAnally: Long, long ago.

[42:58] Andrew DeWolf: So long ago, I hardly know when.

[43:01] Jesse McAnally: My great-great-grandmother now and then stepped out with a Dipsy.

[43:07] Andrew DeWolf: Dipsy.

[43:09] Jesse McAnally: Of course you will say she was a little bit tipsy.

[43:19] Andrew DeWolf: Of the love there wasn't a doubt.

[43:23] Jesse McAnally: So I can't wait to get the stage or set.

[43:28] Andrew DeWolf: So I can let the dipsy in me.

[43:37] Jesse McAnally: And "Let's Misbehave" is just objectively a better song, just as far as quality goes. That song is a classic. It's great and I love it.

[43:45] Andrew DeWolf: And the other one's racist because it implies because there's some Romani in this character, he's a fucking horn dog. Is that not what that's trying to imply?

[43:53] Jesse McAnally: Oh, absolutely.

[43:56] Andrew DeWolf: Oh no, you know, yeah, there's an earlier scene where he mentions he's a horned dog. Like he fucked in a bush. Like I don't think it's, um, I don't think it's fully unintentional that the character is portrayed in the version we watched as British and European people.

[44:11] Jesse McAnally: Uh, that this word means more to them than it does to us in America.

[44:15] Andrew DeWolf: So yeah. That also being said, in the production we watched, almost everyone that isn't Sutton Foster is British doing an American accent.

[44:25] Jesse McAnally: And then we got one character doing a British accent, like their natural British accent.

[44:30] Andrew DeWolf: The funniest part is when you've got Brits doing an American doing a bad British accent, and their British accent is just kind of good.

[44:39] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[44:41] Andrew DeWolf: Like there's a lot of confusing things going on with this show, accent-wise.

[44:45] Jesse McAnally: But this song's racist as fuck and should have been cut.

[44:47] Andrew DeWolf: It was cut in only in 1970.

[44:49] Jesse McAnally: It was cut only in that.

[44:51] Andrew DeWolf: Then brought back in the '80s because Patti LuPone probably didn't want to do another song.

[44:58] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[44:58] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[44:59] Jesse McAnally: Um, this was by far the most uncomfortable section of it, because it's just like, you know, this doesn't need to be here.

[45:06] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[45:06] Jesse McAnally: Because like the real thing is none of the songs need to be here. So when you add a song like this, it's just like, well, why?

[45:12] Andrew DeWolf: It's a load-bearing racism.

[45:14] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, it's load, it's load-bearing racism.

[45:21] Andrew DeWolf: Cut the "Mama Rose" musical in me and replace it with "Let's Misbehave" because "Let's Misbehave" is just a better song.

[45:28] Jesse McAnally: Well, I guess since this show decided that it wanted to end in a bunch of racism, we should probably just talk about the other song that has a bunch of racism.

[45:36] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, we should talk about the racism.

[45:38] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, we're not, there's not really any other songs.

[45:41] Andrew DeWolf: You know these songs.

[45:42] Jesse McAnally: Let's talk about the racism.

[45:43] Andrew DeWolf: So, Andrew, as you say, a lot of early musicals end in a court case.

[45:48] Jesse McAnally: What, it's either a court case or a wedding or both if you're "Oklahoma."

[45:52] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[45:52] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[45:54] Andrew DeWolf: This one is in a wedding.

[45:55] Jesse McAnally: A double.

[45:56] Andrew DeWolf: A d, uh, double wedding.

[45:58] Jesse McAnally: Um, a beginning that is weird legalese, so.

[46:02] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[46:03] Jesse McAnally: It's almost a court case.

[46:05] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, it is close enough to a court case.

[46:08] Jesse McAnally: Um, but in other productions, we have our two leads, we have Moonface and Billy in jail, and they have to break out.

[46:16] Andrew DeWolf: And what they do to get him to break out is play strip poker with, uh, uh, Asian characters horrifically referred to as Chinamen.

[46:25] Jesse McAnally: And you guess what that happens? They steal their clothes and they go out and pretend, uh, to, they put on an accent, wear some horrendous clothing.

[46:35] Andrew DeWolf: And yeah.

[46:37] Jesse McAnally: So let's look at some high school productions really quick.

[46:41] Andrew DeWolf: Relatively recent high school productions.

[46:43] Jesse McAnally: I'm so glad that they were doing this in high school.

[46:45] Andrew DeWolf: And that's, there are so many other links in this article of other school productions doing this.

[46:53] Jesse McAnally: Okay.

[46:53] Andrew DeWolf: I mean, I've been making a joke about it being load-bearing or whatever. The joke is here, you don't need to do this at all.

[47:01] Jesse McAnally: There's literally, we don't. You could have any other ending.

[47:04] Andrew DeWolf: You don't need this in the slightest.

[47:08] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[47:08] Andrew DeWolf: Like the '80s version changed their names to be less racist.

[47:11] Jesse McAnally: Like we can just make this not racist.

[47:14] Andrew DeWolf: Like, come on.

[47:15] Jesse McAnally: Not to be that guy, but you know, Sutton Foster was in another very famous yellow-faced musical called "Thoroughly Modern Millie."

[47:24] Andrew DeWolf: Oh yeah, she was.

[47:25] Jesse McAnally: It's just a lot of things.

[47:27] Andrew DeWolf: It may, maybe I don't think you can really disconnect from this history.

[47:32] Jesse McAnally: Unless you do an all-Asian production.

[47:33] Andrew DeWolf: I have not seen an all-Asian production of "Anything Goes," and I think that would be interesting.

[47:37] Jesse McAnally: So it's, uh, Miko Glenn in there.

[47:40] Andrew DeWolf: The ending that we watched, yeah, they toned it down considerably, and it feels like they actually got, and maybe I'm wrong, uh, did they get actual Asian actors to portray some of these characters?

[47:55] Jesse McAnally: Yes, they were there, but they did, yeah.

[47:57] Andrew DeWolf: It just kinda, they just sidestepped it by not dealing with it at all, you know.

[48:01] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[48:02] Andrew DeWolf: Well, I mean, honestly, they did the right thing in the sense that, yeah, you could just cut that aspect.

[48:07] Jesse McAnally: It doesn't need to be there at all.

[48:08] Andrew DeWolf: Like you literally could just remove it.

[48:10] Jesse McAnally: Other people have changed it from quote unquote Chinamen to Russians, which that's fine.

[48:16] Andrew DeWolf: We, well, I like making fun of Russians.

[48:18] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[48:19] Andrew DeWolf: I suppose.

[48:20] Jesse McAnally: Honestly, though, you could just change it entirely. It doesn't even need to be anything like this.

[48:24] Andrew DeWolf: Oh well.

[48:25] Jesse McAnally: It's, it's, there's a lot of things going on.

[48:29] Andrew DeWolf: Um, so we, uh, save that for the end.

[48:32] Jesse McAnally: That you, you had to deal with that, um, and I think it was important that we all dealt with that, but at this point, I think we just have to say what's our overall thoughts on our cheese rating of "Anything Goes."

[48:43] Andrew DeWolf: All right. "Anything Goes," I think is pretty fun, to be honest. Obviously, there's some stuff that I would like to see changed. A lot of it is changed in the version we watched. Um, but you know, we, you could still kind of, uh, remove some stuff.

[48:59] Jesse McAnally: Uh, but, uh, basically it's good. I mean, it's, it's nonsense, the story's nonsense, the, uh, songs come out of fucking nowhere, but every song is a banger, and the story is light, so, and relatively quick, so it doesn't keep you hostage too much.

[49:21] Andrew DeWolf: Uh, I'm gonna give it, uh, kicked up mac and cheese. Um, because I get a kick out of this show. Also, cut all the racism. We can cut, we can cut all of it, you know.

[49:31] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, yeah.

[49:37] Andrew DeWolf: Um, I'm with Andrew. This is fun. Like, sure, there's a lot of stuff that's problematic here, and it's, it's not like we should change a lot of this, but like, it's just a bunch of sc, it's a screwball comedy with the Cole Porter songs in it.

[49:55] Jesse McAnally: Like, it's kind of fun when it's not being massively racist.

[50:00] Andrew DeWolf: Like if you like Cole Porter, yeah, basically, yeah.

[50:04] Jesse McAnally: Like, like it, the songs are great, performances are good, they sing whenever they feel like, and that's very funny.

[50:10] Andrew DeWolf: It's like randomly they start singing and it makes no sense.

[50:13] Jesse McAnally: I enjoy parts of it.

[50:15] Andrew DeWolf: We should cut all the racism, please.

[50:18] Jesse McAnally: Like, please just cut the racism.

[50:20] Andrew DeWolf: If we cut the racist in the show, it's the show's pretty good if it's not racist.

[50:26] Jesse McAnally: And when it's not racist, it's solid.

[50:28] Andrew DeWolf: So anyway, I'm going to give this, um, I looked at '30s recipes from the 1930s, because I didn't think they would age very well, and I found something called tuna cheese spread.

[50:39] Jesse McAnally: And it looks like barf.

[50:42] Andrew DeWolf: And, uh, it's described as the, this, the description is the flavor of tuna is very subtle and it's thick in this thick and creamy spread.

[50:50] Jesse McAnally: Um, that's the smell of the dressing rooms, um, after all the dancing and the "Anything Goes" number.

[50:56] Andrew DeWolf: Yep, basically.

[50:57] Jesse McAnally: Oh god.

[50:58] Andrew DeWolf: It looks disgusting.

[51:01] Jesse McAnally: If you need to make fake vomit, look up this recipe.

[51:03] Andrew DeWolf: It's nasty.

[51:03] Jesse McAnally: It'll turn into real vomit if you try to eat it.

[51:07] Andrew DeWolf: Absolutely.

[51:07] Jesse McAnally: But apparently it's creamy and delicious.

[51:09] Andrew DeWolf: So apparently it's creamy and delicious according to this woman from Kansas who submitted this recipe.

[51:16] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[51:17] Andrew DeWolf: Um, sounds like a John Mulaney special.

[51:19] Jesse McAnally: Um, "Anything Goes" is fine. Like, you'll like the songs because you know these songs.

[51:25] Andrew DeWolf: Um, it's got a wild history.

[51:27] Jesse McAnally: Don't watch any of the movies.

[51:29] Andrew DeWolf: I know we all love Ethel Merman.

[51:31] Jesse McAnally: Don't watch those.

[51:32] Andrew DeWolf: I watched them, so you don't have to.

[51:34] Jesse McAnally: Um, like another critic out there.

[51:36] Andrew DeWolf: James Roll.

[51:38] Jesse McAnally: No, no, no.

[51:38] Andrew DeWolf: Andrew's gonna start playing the theme.

[51:42] Jesse McAnally: So I am giving this an "Anything Goes" cheese quesadilla.

[51:47] Andrew DeWolf: Um, Pocket Food Guy.

[51:49] Jesse McAnally: Um, apparently it takes eight flour tortillas to make it.

[51:54] Andrew DeWolf: 500 grams of cooked sweet potato or butternut squash, lightly crushed or chopped, sea salt, ground pepper, 100 grams of creamy blue cheese, and 200 grams of fresh mozzarella.

[52:05] Jesse McAnally: Enjoy the diabetes.

[52:06] Andrew DeWolf: You, uh, you officially have it after eating that.

[52:08] Jesse McAnally: The cheese sucks.

[52:10] Andrew DeWolf: Um, yeah.

[52:12] Jesse McAnally: Um, speaking of sucking, we suck the soul out of you this Valentine's Day.

[52:18] Andrew DeWolf: Thank you guys for listening. Please follow us on iTunes and Spotify, "Musicals with Cheese."

[52:22] Jesse McAnally: We're on Twitter at Cheesy Musicals, Patreon Musicals with Cheese, Instagram Musicals with Cheese, YouTube page Musicals with Cheese, Patreon Podcast, Patreon with Cheese, email us at musicaltheatrelives@gmail.com.

[52:30] Andrew DeWolf: Our keeper of the cheese is Juliet Antonio.

[52:33] Jesse McAnally: Thank you, Juliet.

[52:36] Andrew DeWolf: This show is edited by the one and only Andrew DeWolf, the wolf.

[52:42] Jesse McAnally: Thank you to Liz for being our research and panelist, as always.

[52:46] Andrew DeWolf: Um, I love having you here, and you give us such wonderful feedback and a bouncing board.

[52:51] Jesse McAnally: And yeah, um, thank you to the Broadway Podcast Network for having us on the platform and for not kicking us off for the tuna explosion.

[52:59] Andrew DeWolf: All right, anything else we have left to say?

[53:01] Jesse McAnally: Anything goes, man.

[53:03] Andrew DeWolf: Anything goes.

[53:13] Jesse McAnally: In olden days, a glimpse of stalking was thought of as something shocking, but God now knows anything goes.

[53:23] Andrew DeWolf: But I don't like this clown.

[53:25] Jesse McAnally: Uh, I wouldn't take it down if I were you.

[53:27] Andrew DeWolf: These are load-bearing wolves.

[53:29] Jesse McAnally: They're not gonna come down.

[53:32] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, that's no good.