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[0:14] Jess: Hey, beautiful Make Me a Musical slash Musicals with Cheese fans. This episode is a little different than our usual episodes of Make Me a Musical because we did this live, or as live as you can do during a pandemic. This was recorded during the Pot X Expo, where we represented the Broadway Podcast Network and created a musical in 30 minutes or less. So there may be one or two references to it being a live show or us chiming in with audience reaction. But all that considered, I still think this really holds up, and I'm glad you guys get to hear it because it was a ton of fun. Alright, let's see what we came up with. Andrew, do you want to introduce what we're gonna do? Because I know they were doing this very nice, like how BPN works thing. We're not gonna do any kind of stuff like that.

[0:54] Andrew: Oh yeah, we don't we're gonna be able to do that. No, this is not our we are not gonna help you in any way. We are here just for goofs. Well, we've had this sort of concept, and it started a while back where I used to guess what musicals were about just by the title alone. Um, and we've sort of morphed that concept into let's see if we can turn anything into a musical using Jess's knowledge of music theater structure and my um creative ingenuity.

[1:27] Jess: Sure.

[1:27] Andrew: Sure, Jallet. Um, and that we're just go and it's a brand new version of our show that's kind of spinoff within our show called Make Me a Musical. So for you guys today, we're gonna make you a musical. And I'm not sure how the best way to do this is, but I really wanted you guys to suggest any topic in the world to try to pitch that we can try to turn to a musical. Now, this isn't just like movies, TV, or whatever. It could be literally anything. We recorded an episode about the keto diet, and we had to turn just the concept of the keto diet into a musical. So we want you guys to try to challenge us. So whatever you guys can give us that we could try to turn to a musical, throw it at us. Really challenge us. We're gonna hang out together. Because our backup is a good idea.

[2:16] Jess: Being an expert on growing beans.

[2:20] Andrew: Alright, alright. That's I like that one. I don't want to get it just from people. Someone's been playing Starving Valley. Some of the other um 16 attendees. If not, that is a pretty good one. That is a really good one. Alright, we'll see. We'll give them like we'll give him one more minute here and just if we're going to go.

[2:47] Jess: Okay. Well, in the meantime, that's just that's dead air, my god. I thought, how do you grow beans? I am just gonna pull up. Because the only information as a musical expert I have on beans are from uh Into the Woods. Um, so I know that you sell the beans to get the shoe and all that, but I don't quite know how they're practically grown. So beans are warm season crops that grow quickly from seeds planted directly into the garden. Um you don't need them indoors. Um, let's see. Okay, so they need soil about 60 degrees.

[3:22] Andrew: Roll with the beans.

[3:23] Jess: I think we rolled with the beans. I'm sticking with the beans. Uh I I got I got tons of ideas for the beans already. So, alright. We know what the beans are like quickly, can only grow outside. This has to be like an Oklahoma style takes place outdoors, one big outdoor general location. Where do we have to be able to do it. Now do you grow beans. Like what what region of the country or the world.

[3:43] Andrew: Find us where we're beans are grown. Because I'm imagining we could either do like real world about like a bean farmer and like his struggles and wanting to be more than a bean farmer, or we could do l emoji land style, the world of beans under the ground being being grown.

[3:57] Jess: Because we are in theater and we couldn't go in ridiculous areas. I like the bean farmer angle, because I feel like there's already shows kind of like that where you have like someone who wants to do more than live on a farm.

[4:12] Andrew: Um, and we could do something like that, like a Somewhere Over the Rainbow kind of song as well, could be in there.

[4:18] Jess: Uh literally could okay, we're sticking with bean farmer idea. Where is this taking place, Bruce?

[4:24] Andrew: Where is this bean farmer at?

[4:25] Jess: Okay. Um we can do North Dakota, Michigan, Nebraska, Colorado, California, Idaho.

[4:31] Andrew: I'm sticking with Michigan because I know that.

[4:33] Jess: I know that.

[4:34] Andrew: So Jess lives in Michigan.

[4:36] Jess: So of course. It's really embarrassing. I'm so sorry. That that is the worst thing to learn about me. But I do live in Michigan, so I know a couple things. So we're sticking with Michigan.

[4:44] Andrew: We got this Michigan Upper Peninsula bean farmer. Alright. And his name is uh Jake, and he really wants to be more than a bean farmer.

[4:53] Jess: So our opening Jess.

[4:55] Andrew: Jess.

[4:59] Jess: Yes, that that it's my self insert. Gosh, if I'm not gonna make my fanfic here, it's gonna be in my about my dream to be a bean farmer.

[5:07] Andrew: What kind of okay? So, what does Jake want to do besides grow beans?

[5:12] Jess: He wants to be on a musical theater podcast.

[5:17] Andrew: If we can't do that, Jess, that's a self-insert, okay?

[5:21] Jess: Okay. I think that's a good thing.

[5:23] Andrew: No, no, then I disagree a little bit with the wanting to be something other than a bean farmer. The show is about being an expert on growing beans. The conclusion or or where he wants to be should be to make like the biggest bean that's ever existed.

[5:39] Jess: Like he wants to grow the largest bean ever.

[5:42] Andrew: And it's a kind of this. So like the starting point is it's kind of a Jack and the Giant Beanstalk thing, but that's not quite the same.

[5:51] Jess: No, the giant bean.

[5:53] Andrew: It's not the beanstalk, the bean is just Jake and the giant bean.

[5:53] Jess: Jake and the giant bean.

[5:59] Andrew: Okay, so now we have a title.

[6:01] Jess: Jake and the giant bean.

[6:01] Andrew: Alright. He's a bean farmer and he wants more out of life.

[6:05] Jess: And his I want song.

[6:06] Andrew: Wants to grow a giant bean.

[6:08] Jess: And his I want song is he doesn't want a hill of beans.

[6:11] Andrew: Because he wants one big one.

[6:13] Jess: He wants Okay, okay. More than a hill of beans. That's his I want song, because he's more than just a hill of beans.

[6:21] Andrew: Well, what's the opening number? Is it like the world of bean farming?

[6:25] Jess: Like, we have to set up the world.

[6:28] Andrew: I think it's gonna be I think it's gonna be like the Kinky Boots opening where you introduce this kid that's father really, really liked the shoe business. So it's about this man, like who's like in love with bean farming, and he's imposing it onto his son, and his son is like, alright, dad's instilled this beauty out there.

[6:47] Jess: Like in the beauty of the bean farming world, and I'm gonna make him proud because dad died years ago, and I am gonna be more than just a hill of beans, because that's what they call their their farm, nothing but a hill of beans.

[7:00] Andrew: Yeah, and and like he's not a good bean farmer. The father is like the worst bean farmer ever.

[7:06] Jess: He he's like middling. He gets he makes money, but he's not like the anything to write home about.

[7:11] Andrew: Well, yeah, he he like does the bare minimum to get by, and and the kid, the whole time is just like I want to make much better beans than this.

[7:19] Jess: He's gotta prove the family name.

[7:21] Andrew: Okay, no, he just wants to make better beans. Um, so that is then we introduce this wildcard character, um, be it a girl that he might be interested in or a guy he might be interested in that will be like, you know, I'm experimenting with this chemical that can make vegetables giants.

[7:39] Jess: So we implement like the Frankenstein side, because we are in theater, we can go a little bit sillier.

[7:45] Andrew: A song called I Love Being Around You.

[7:48] Jess: Oh my goodness.

[7:49] Andrew: Why are we puns?

[7:52] Jess: We can't do all puns.

[7:53] Andrew: Why can't you do all puns? It's a show about beans.

[7:56] Jess: I agree, but not every song, like in Sweeney Todd, not every show's a pun about like being a barber or anything.

[8:03] Andrew: Like there's gotta be nuance here.

[8:05] Jess: I mean, there's an entire song of puns about being a murderer.

[8:09] Andrew: Yeah.

[8:11] Jess: Alright, so friend a little on the crazier side, wild card experiments with like making these giant beans, and it's kind of like the song from Be More Chill, where he's like pitching the squip where it's like, here's how the science works, and here's what we can do.

[8:25] Andrew: And then they're off to the races doing these experiments, but they keep failing.

[8:30] Jess: Is the person who can make the beans bigger? Like is the person with the special sauce.

[8:35] Andrew: Is that the bad guy? Because I think we need to have like a competition bean farmer.

[8:39] Jess: I think there's a competition bean farmer, which I think is just the rest of the town that just sees them as like the failure, the bigger.

[8:46] Andrew: I want there to be like kind of went over to the town. I want there to be like a Chick Hicks, like a like a Kachiga kind of guy who's like there and he he's like, I make the best beans, and he has he made the biggest bean.

[8:58] Jess: And there's like a big bean that's on stage.

[8:59] Andrew: No, no, no, no, no, no. He like does cocoa beans, so he gets them imported and gives them to the town.

[9:04] Jess: So it's still beans, but it's a completely different type.

[9:07] Andrew: And oh, so it's like comp it's like a competition between bean types as well.

[9:12] Jess: Yes.

[9:13] Andrew: They're trying So any bean goes.

[9:16] Jess: Oh my god, we got we got it.

[9:20] Andrew: That is the competition. Like he is up in competition against the cocoa bean guy with his like what kind of beans?

[9:26] Jess: Are we doing like black beans, brown beans, lima beans?

[9:28] Andrew: I feel like lima beans is like the the lamest type of beans, so I think you do that to emp to emphasize like to emphasize that this guy has no chance of being the best bean farmer.

[9:40] Jess: Alright.

[9:40] Andrew: I'm imagining the scientist character kind of being like Meg from Hercules, a little bit more like thing.

[9:47] Jess: And I imagine it kind of like what do you think her song sounds like, Brie?

[9:50] Andrew: Like if you had to like imagine what this crazy scientist girl that enters his life and says, like, I can make your bean the biggest bean in the world.

[10:01] Jess: Was that intentional?

[10:05] Andrew: I feel like it would be like I can make it I can make your bean the biggest in the world with a splash of this and a splash of that.

[10:13] Jess: And that's oh my god, I I need this character in my life. I need her to like exist on brawl. It may not be this musical, but I need that character.

[10:21] Andrew: Alright, so we all build up and like there's the competition, and that is like it.

[10:28] Jess: We're all building up to that, and they like staying up all night together. There's like a bond and friendship growing between them, but the beans never stay together. Every time they put the science ego in it, the bean explodes. Um and then act one ends the night before the competition, the bean competition. Um I mean that that's a good ending for act one. And it ends like with the bean finally growing, like they've given up all hope, and then they're like, Well, I guess this is it. Like they keep trying one last ditch, and then as they turn around, we the audience see the bean growing, and then curtains close. We gotta see what happens in act two.

[11:03] Andrew: Okay, there's a lot of ways you can go with this. What if the bean grows and it's the biggest bean now, but then they find out there was something wrong, and the bean's gonna explode, and everyone at the in the bean competition is in danger.

[11:16] Jess: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The bean just keeps growing, so it's gonna crush everyone eventually. Like they it just keeps getting bigger. It becomes like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors, where it just becomes a danger in and of itself. It is the Faustian bargain, and they have to try to figure out their way out of this. They have to get two. He finally achieves his dream of the biggest bean in the whole world, and it's gonna kill everybody. Yes, it's gonna destroy the town, and once again, he has become the failure that the town saw him as. And we get reprises of the Hill of Beans song where he is, I guess I really am nothing but a hill of beans.

[11:55] Andrew: Oh man, this is like uh Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm gonna like a little bit. But it's like one bean. It's like only one bean. But he like How do we even put this on stage? Like, what is it? Literally, like have you seen the plant on Little Shop of Horrors? Like, this is possible. You can definitely Yeah, this is this is easier. There's not even puppetry, it's just a big bean. Yeah, you don't even need an actor to play the bean. The bean is just a thing. It is a act of nature. It is literally like the volcano in SpongeBob. It is just an act of god coming to destroy it.

[12:31] Jess: So they have to descience it. And they like are like, we got a ticking clock. Um at midnight, the bean, my science says the bean will crush the entirety of this town in Michigan that's known for growing beans. Jake, we need to destroy this bean. We need to science it back to small. Is does Jake not want to because he's finally He's conflicted. He's achieved his dreams. He's not like mad with power. He understands the dangers, but he's like, is there any way we can just like stop it as opposed to like shrink it down? And and she's like, No, we we we gotta really make sure that this does work.

[13:04] Andrew: What if it's like a a sacrifice thing? There is a way to stop it, but then when he finally gets the chance to do it, he he realizes that he has to sacrifice something to do it, so he chooses not to stop it, he just destroys it instead.

[13:15] Jess: Yeah, maybe. Like, what do you think? Um, okay. The pitch is we can just stop it from like being it, or we can blow it up. Like, if we get this needle to the core of the bean, we can stop it from getting any bigger. And but the danger is his his scientist friend like has to dive inside the bean with like and it just keeps getting bigger, and eventually it just starts crushing her and she's dying, and he's like finally blows up the bean. He blows up the bean instead. And he thinks that she died, but she comes out covered in bean goo.

[13:48] Andrew: And so what's what is the moral of at the end of this? Just don't don't science beans.

[13:56] Jess: Well, no, it is the Frankenstein story of don't mess with nature, and B, it's be grateful for the beans you've got. Don't count your beans too early. Because really, the beans was the friends we made along the way. Is as sad as that is, that is the message, and at the end of it, yeah, that is the message of most stories is the thing I wanted really wasn't what mattered. It is X friendship or X love or X whatever.

[14:21] Andrew: Yeah. So I think we have a solid plot here. I think that this is all this is all coming together here. Uh do we need like a big We need an 11 o'clock number?

[14:30] Jess: Which you could uh say is like a visual 11 o'clock number, which would be like don't feed me plants where it's a good one.

[14:38] Andrew: Yeah, but uh which would be a reprise of like I'm more than a hill of beans, and then he just blows it all up.

[14:44] Jess: Yeah. Or we have a romance like, um, what um I can't legume you go, like something about that.

[14:52] Andrew: No, you're doing all the puns. I feel like the bean puns are gonna have to be in the dialogue and the Yeah, I don't think they belong in the songs. I think Hill of Beans is like you know, one song and that's it, so um, but really at the core it is the love story between this farm boy and the scientist, because we finally have the merging of science and farm. Maybe they figure out how to stabilize it a bit, but they can't make the biggest beans in the world at the end, and they just they settle to make, you know, moderately large beans.

[15:32] Jess: And they make all that plus more. Like they feed like their entire town and they market it. And they're like, well, we know how to stop it, so we can just mash up as much beans. Like we can grow a thousand beans, and then we can have like a bunch worth of mashed beans, because we're gonna have to blow it up before it gets too big.

[15:48] Andrew: Well, we got like a mass production process.

[15:50] Jess: Okay. So it ends happily with farming and science coming together. They have kids, they're so happy, and he achieves his dream just not in the way he thought he'd get it.

[15:59] Andrew: That's all great, but we need a musical style and maybe someone an idea of who could write.

[16:05] Jess: Also, um, I wish that yeah, you're right. Um honestly, I wish that's what I think. What happened to Coco Bean guy? Did he die?

[16:13] Andrew: He's just like crushed by the bean.

[16:16] Jess: I feel like his name should be Brad.

[16:18] Andrew: I feel I feel like Coco Bean guy's name should be Brad.

[16:22] Jess: No, I mean Brad the Chad who runs the cocoa bean lab.

[16:27] Andrew: Brad, he he's not like a farmer type either. He's got like a suit and like a tie and he's like sleazy.

[16:32] Jess: No, he brags about it.

[16:35] Andrew: Oh, like a Hawaiian shirts and khakis.

[16:37] Jess: Yeah, and he like brags about how like, oh, I've got all the cocoa beans they're imported. You know from the carabine.

[16:44] Andrew: And then he gets crushed by the giant bean at like halfway through act two or something.

[16:48] Jess: Okay. Thank you. Like it's a comedy death. It can't be like an actual serious death, and we have to make him really hateable so that it's a laugh when he dies, and not like oh my god.

[16:58] Andrew: Yeah, absolutely. I couldn't let you guys leave everybody on that cliffhanger of what happened to him. So go ahead. Let's talk about uh or he gets trapped in the bean and he comes out along with um the scientist girl, which we should give a name. Did we give her a name?

[17:11] Jess: Molly.

[17:12] Andrew: I don't think so.

[17:13] Jess: Molly's a good name.

[17:15] Andrew: All right. Unless there's a bean bun that someone can think of right now.

[17:18] Jess: Uh yeah, go for that. Um go for that audience.

[17:21] Andrew: Um, but I really think I wish that Howard Ashman was still alive because this would be right up his alley.

[17:25] Jess: Molly Leafly.

[17:27] Andrew: I think so. That's the the Disney Renaissance guy, right?

[17:32] Jess: Little Shop the Horrors guy.

[17:33] Andrew: That is well.

[17:34] Jess: Yeah. Honestly, I could see um Joe Iconis doing a really good job if he like embraced his like be more chill side.

[17:41] Andrew: I think that would be a good one.

[17:42] Jess: I was thinking that, because you mentioned you mentioned that earlier, and that could sort of fit.

[17:47] Andrew: Um it's more modern as well.

[17:49] Jess: Yeah, like something more modern. Or even like Eddie Perfect or Tim Minchin would get uh like go crazy with like these bean punks that we can slide them in.

[17:59] Andrew: I feel like just for that, I'm gonna stick with Tim Minchin. Do you have a better suggestion?

[18:03] Jess: I do not. Honestly, I think any of the ones you mentioned could work.

[18:07] Andrew: Uh I think I'd like the more modern style, like the Be More Chill style. Or if we're gonna go like a massive goofy with it, we could do Alan Mankin and Glenn Slater, who did Gallivant Entangled and all that, and they would probably do a very good job um getting like the funnier side.

[18:21] Jess: But I feel like you kind of need like some pathos to this, so I'm sticking with Tim Minshin.

[18:25] Andrew: Alright. Well, that's our why do you think what do you think Brenn Brantley would have reviewed this musical?

[18:31] Jess: Yep, yeah, right. We have to ask that.

[18:33] Andrew: Um that I have no idea. He would be like, um, I thought that I had seen the worst of musical theater, but it wasn't until I was right.

[18:36] Jess: But it wasn't until I saw What were we calling it?

[18:50] Andrew: Jake and the bean thing in the giant bean.

[18:52] Jess: Jake and the bean.

[18:53] Andrew: Giant bean.

[18:54] Jess: Jake and the giant bean.

[18:56] Andrew: Is an utter disappointment.

[18:58] Jess: And it's like it's such a good title.

[19:01] Andrew: It's a mix of James and the Giant Peach and Jack and the Giant Beanstalk.

[19:06] Jess: It's like it's both. Alright, we gotta we gotta contact some people about this.

[19:11] Andrew: We're gonna make this happen. This is this is brilliant. This is by far the best idea we've ever had.

[19:16] Jess: Yeah. So the theater people we have in our panel. Um, would you go to see Jake and the Giant Bean? Do you think this is worth producing?

[19:24] Andrew: Can can I Wow.

[19:27] Jess: Really? Come on, we need we need like we need to be on board.

[19:32] Andrew: Jess, it's already being panned. I'm sorry.

[19:34] Jess: It's already being panned.

[19:34] Andrew: Oh, give it up.

[19:35] Jess: Throw it.

[19:36] Andrew: The New York Times reviews are in.

[19:37] Jess: It's it's over.

[19:38] Andrew: Ah.

[19:39] Jess: We're closing up one night.

[19:41] Andrew: We're the they're not gonna now they're they're not gonna say never since K.

[19:45] Jess: They're gonna say never since Jake and the Giant Bean.

[19:49] Andrew: All right. The worst part is I kind of want to see this.

[19:52] Jess: Someone make it.

[19:54] Andrew: Jess has got his head fully up his ass right.

[19:59] Jess: I don't think it'll be good, but I do want to see it. Like I legitimately don't think it'll be a good one.

[20:04] Andrew: My God.

[20:06] Jess: All right. I I think we've filled up our time. Um, so thank you guys for listening. I hope you enjoyed our pitch for Jake and the Giant Bean, which might be one of the best things we've ever pitched.

[20:16] Andrew: I don't think it got much love on the feed, but I thought it was great.

[20:19] Jess: Oh yeah. I thought it was very good.

[20:21] Andrew: I I'm honestly I feel like there was a lot of you know, everyone's a critic, but especially Ben Brantley.

[20:27] Jess: Um I I thought that was a lot of fun. Thank you to Pod X for letting us do that weird little live show we did.