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[0:00] ♪ Musical number: "You Have Bewitched Me, Body and Soul" — performed by Matthew Macfadyen ♪

[0:41] Jesse McAnally: Hello, I'm Jesse McAnally.

[0:45] Andrew DeWolf: And I'm Andrew DeWolf.

[0:48] Liz Esten: And I'm Liz Esten. And welcome to The Cheese Wheel, a hyper-fixation podcast where our topics are gambled, except for this week, because we are having our first Patreon choice!

[0:56] Jesse McAnally: Oh, yes! Finally, we don't have to pick.

[1:00] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah! No work for us.

[1:02] Liz Esten: I mean, the emotional labor of us having to spin a wheel has been removed, and we...

[1:09] Jesse McAnally: Our patrons voted on this. This is democracy in action, if there ever was democracy in action.

[1:15] Andrew DeWolf: That's the most Jesse can say about democracy.

[1:17] Jesse McAnally: That's all I can say about democracy. This one was chosen by our patrons, but the original pitch came from Toriana Frazier, one of our favorite and oldest patrons, and we're so grateful that they're picking something that I would have 100% put on my list anyway at some point. This week! And they're in chat right now.

[1:34] Liz Esten: Yeah, they're in chat right now, watching us live. They are taking all the Patreon points that they can. Andrew, I believe I sent you a little recording for why Toriana picked this.

[1:45] Andrew DeWolf: If you don't mind, would you be willing to play that?

[1:47] Toriana Frazier: This might be my favorite movie of all time. When people ask for recommendations for a comfort movie, I always recommend this one. To me, this is a great book-to-movie adaptation that also just happens to be a spectacular film. The cinematography is gorgeous, the score is to die for, and the cast do a great job bringing these characters to life. I look forward to hearing everyone's opinions on the podcast, even if they don't agree with mine. I could gush about this movie for an hour, but I'll leave that up to the professionals.

[2:20] Jesse McAnally: Are we the professionals? I hope not.

[2:22] Andrew DeWolf: We are professional gushers!

[2:24] Liz Esten: I mean, I did cry on mic, so I really am a professional.

[2:28] Jesse McAnally: This week, we are covering the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. Cue the trailer.

[2:35] Voiceover: This fall, Focus Features presents the story of a modern woman.

[2:40] Voiceover: Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Do you think this union can be prevented by a young woman of inferior birth? Who discovered the one person she cannot stand is the one man she may not be able to resist.

[2:53] Voiceover: Can you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?

[2:56] Voiceover: From the first moment I met you, your arrogance made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever marry.

[3:06] Voiceover: Do you not think him a handsome man?

[3:09] Voiceover: Yes, Odessa, he is.

[3:13] Voiceover: From the producers of Bridget Jones's Diary and Love Actually.

[3:18] Voiceover: He's been a fool, but then so have I. We are all fools in love.

[3:24] Voiceover: Keira Knightley, Matthew McFadden, Brenda Blethyn, Donald Sutherland, and Judi Dench.

[3:31] Voiceover: Pride and Prejudice.

[3:33] Jesse McAnally: So Pride and Prejudice is a film written by Deborah Moggach and Jane Austen and Emma Thompson, directed by Joe Wright, based on Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

[3:49] Andrew DeWolf: The film premiered on September 11, 2005.

[3:52] Jesse McAnally: Jess, back up. You just implied Jane Austen is still alive by saying she wrote this movie.

[3:56] Andrew DeWolf: Did she not write the book?

[3:57] Jesse McAnally: She wrote the book, but you said Jane Austen wrote the script.

[4:00] Andrew DeWolf: She's an accredited writer.

[4:02] Jesse McAnally: Okay, I just wanted to back up.

[4:04] Andrew DeWolf: She is accredited. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[4:07] Jesse McAnally: Okay, okay. I'm just making sure.

[4:09] Andrew DeWolf: I'm actually over there.

[4:12] Jesse McAnally: Actually, there was a person who wrote the screenplay.

[4:16] Andrew DeWolf: I didn't want you to get a bunch of tweets like, did you say Jane Austen is still alive, you idiot?

[4:21] Jesse McAnally: No, they'll say that anyway, because they made a big deal of it.

[4:25] Andrew DeWolf: It was directed by Joe Wright, the director of everyone's favorite movie, Pan, and future contender on this list, Andrew.

[4:31] Jesse McAnally: Do you remember when I showed you a clip from Pan?

[4:34] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, is that the one where they sing Nirvana or something?

[4:38] Jesse McAnally: Yes, it is.

[4:39] Andrew DeWolf: Of course it was that one. Wonderful.

[4:41] Jesse McAnally: Doesn't it have white Tiger Lily?

[4:43] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, played by Rooney Mara, a friend we were talking about.

[4:47] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, we were talking about her.

[4:49] Andrew DeWolf: So the film premiered on September 11th, 2005, at the Toronto International Film Festival as a special gala presentation.

[5:18] Andrew DeWolf: It was released in an additional 59 countries between September 2005 and May 2006, and with a worldwide gross of $121 million.

[5:26] Jesse McAnally: It was the 72nd highest grossing film in 2005 in the US, and was the 41st highest internationally.

[5:32] Andrew DeWolf: The film received positive reviews from critics upon release, with praise directed towards Knightley's performance.

[5:37] Jesse McAnally: It received four nominations at the 78th Academy Awards, including Best Actress for Keira Knightley, making her the third youngest Best Actress nominee at the time.

[5:46] Andrew DeWolf: There's been a lot since. The plot of Pride and Prejudice is a story of love and life among the landed English gentry during the Georgian era.

[5:55] Jesse McAnally: Mr. Bennett is a gentleman living in Hertfordshire with an overbearing wife and five daughters.

[6:01] Andrew DeWolf: But if he dies, their house will be inherited by a distant cousin who they have never met until at a certain point in the story.

[6:08] Jesse McAnally: So the family's future happiness and security is dependent on the daughters making good marriages.

[6:14] Andrew DeWolf: Um, so this is kind of a return to form for Andrew and I because we covered a Pride and Prejudice story on our last podcast.

[6:22] Jesse McAnally: We did the Pride and Prejudice musical by Paul Gordon.

[6:43] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I remember that.

[7:12] Jesse McAnally: And I think I spent most of the episode talking about how good this movie was.

[7:16] Andrew DeWolf: I feel like you did.

[7:20] Jesse McAnally: Because I feel like we've already sort of talked about this movie in a way.

[7:25] Andrew DeWolf: This is my first time seeing it, though.

[7:29] Liz Esten: Um, Liz, you've seen this before.

[7:31] Liz Esten: Yeah, of course.

[7:32] Andrew DeWolf: And it's been a minute, but did it live up to your memory?

[7:36] Liz Esten: Oh, absolutely. It's delightful. Like, same feeling of just warmth through my whole body the whole time. Loved it.

[7:43] Jesse McAnally: Um, I think this is a perfect film in every sense of what a film is.

[7:49] Andrew DeWolf: And you don't get movies like this anymore.

[7:53] Jesse McAnally: And I know we've said that, like, a bunch on this podcast, and it might be a running theme.

[7:57] Andrew DeWolf: And what I mean by that—

[8:04] Jesse McAnally: We're the nostalgia critics.

[8:05] Andrew DeWolf: You know, they didn't make—

[8:09] Jesse McAnally: Things used to be great in the 90s, and now they're not good anymore.

[8:09] Andrew DeWolf: Um, but I mean, intentional direction and camera movement, in a way that, much like Waitress, is kind of—

[8:19] Jesse McAnally: You feel the director's hand.

[8:21] Andrew DeWolf: And I feel like a lot of films and TV shows nowadays try to have an omniscient thing, because if you do something intentional or strange or a little off-the-beat path, well, people say it's cheesy.

[8:34] Jesse McAnally: Um, like, God forbid Sam Raimi puts a tiny bit of his stamp on a Doctor Strange movie.

[8:42] Andrew DeWolf: Um—

[8:43] Jesse McAnally: Cheese is good.

[8:44] Andrew DeWolf: Cheese is great.

[8:45] Jesse McAnally: People need to just accept it.

[8:47] Andrew DeWolf: You need to embrace your own cringe.

[8:49] Jesse McAnally: You need to accept it, and you become a bigger person, a better person.

[8:55] Andrew DeWolf: But even Regency romances have become so claustrophobic.

[8:59] Jesse McAnally: Compare this to any Bridgerton or—

[9:01] Andrew DeWolf: What is that?

[9:02] Jesse McAnally: My Lady Jane, and it just—

[9:04] Andrew DeWolf: It feels so much more lived in, like a real experience and a vaster world.

[9:09] Jesse McAnally: Um, and this is the best version of Pride and Prejudice by a long shot, and I've watched a bunch of them to prepare for this so I can say that without hyperbole.

[9:18] Andrew DeWolf: Was one of those the Lizzie Bennet Diaries?

[9:21] Jesse McAnally: Yes, it was.

[9:22] Andrew DeWolf: Goddamn, I love that shit.

[9:24] Jesse McAnally: It's— It's—

[9:25] Andrew DeWolf: I'm sorry, this is better.

[9:27] Jesse McAnally: It's better, but it's not the same, so it's hard to compare them.

[9:30] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I— Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, this is better.

[9:33] Jesse McAnally: Pride and Prejudice the musical, this is better.

[9:36] Andrew DeWolf: Pride and Prejudice the miniseries, I like Colin Firth, but it's—

[9:38] Jesse McAnally: This is better.

[9:39] Andrew DeWolf: This is the best version of it, because I cut out all the dumb shit.

[9:43] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[9:44] Andrew DeWolf: Is it better than the book, though?

[9:45] Jesse McAnally: Yes.

[9:46] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, you actually read it?

[9:48] Jesse McAnally: I did.

[9:50] Andrew DeWolf: See, I like that type of take. That type of take is spicy.

[9:52] Jesse McAnally: Like, most people wouldn't be afraid to say that.

[9:55] Andrew DeWolf: But also, you could argue, like, Pride and Prejudice has been readapted, like, 80 billion times and called 80 billion different things, and it's called the classic American rom-com.

[10:04] Jesse McAnally: So...

[10:04] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[10:05] Jesse McAnally: It is better than Bridget Jones's Diary.

[10:08] Andrew DeWolf: Do we need to throw any other half-hearted adaptations out there?

[10:12] Jesse McAnally: I don't know.

[10:13] Andrew DeWolf: I've only seen Emma adaptations.

[10:14] Jesse McAnally: How do you know all of these?

[10:16] Andrew DeWolf: I prepared for this episode, my friends!

[10:19] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, Jess had COVID, so he over-prepared for, like, half her episode.

[10:22] Andrew DeWolf: I did!

[10:24] Jesse McAnally: Did the second time cure the brain fog, though? Like, is it gone now?

[10:26] Andrew DeWolf: But fun fact about that, the reason why I read the book for Pride and Prejudice was because of my brain fog.

[10:32] Jesse McAnally: So, my girlfriend, this is also her favorite film, and she introduced me to this movie.

[10:40] Andrew DeWolf: And for her birthday last year, I got her Pride and Prejudice, but it had every letter as a physical letter that she pulled out.

[10:48] Jesse McAnally: So, I needed to start reading aloud, because that is still something I have a difficulty with.

[10:54] Andrew DeWolf: You heard me when I was trying to do it earlier.

[10:56] Jesse McAnally: So, I read that book cover-to-cover, aloud, to my girlfriend, doing all the voices and all that.

[11:04] Andrew DeWolf: Oh my god, that book is dull!

[11:08] Jesse McAnally: Jane Austen, lovely author, all that stuff.

[11:11] Andrew DeWolf: There's a lot of tedious, like, kind of, like, things in a quarter.

[11:16] Jesse McAnally: And it's not even a funny, Les Mis way, where it's like, now we're gonna spend 30 pages talking about the sewers of love.

[11:22] Andrew DeWolf: No, it's just like, and she was like this, and la la la la la la!

[11:26] Jesse McAnally: And she was like, la la la la la!

[11:28] Andrew DeWolf: And I felt, la la la la la la!

[11:32] Jesse McAnally: It did not have any of the style, substance, and fascination in this world that this film has.

[11:40] Andrew DeWolf: And I can't believe that a director like Joe Wright was able to make a film this perfect, considering he's never made a good film since.

[11:47] Jesse McAnally: I mean, Andrew, did you like Cyrano, which was also directed by this director?

[11:51] Andrew DeWolf: No, you didn't, because no one did.

[11:53] Jesse McAnally: It was, like, fine.

[11:55] Andrew DeWolf: It wasn't, like, good, though.

[11:56] Jesse McAnally: Wait, he directed, Atonement's pretty good.

[11:59] Andrew DeWolf: I've not watched Atonement.

[12:00] Jesse McAnally: Atonement's pretty good, actually.

[12:02] Andrew DeWolf: He made that right after Pride and Prejudice, so.

[12:06] Jesse McAnally: I know Saoirse Ronan's in it.

[12:07] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, she is very good in it.

[12:10] Jesse McAnally: But he did also make The Woman in the Window on Netflix, which is some of the most boring shit I've ever seen, so.

[12:16] Andrew DeWolf: True garbage!

[12:17] Jesse McAnally: Wait, is this his first movie?

[12:19] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, it is.

[12:19] Jesse McAnally: This is his first movie!

[12:20] Andrew DeWolf: He was a TV director!

[12:21] Jesse McAnally: And they just hired him to do this movie!

[12:25] Andrew DeWolf: I will say—

[12:26] Jesse McAnally: Okay, I was willing, before listening to the audio commentary, to throw a lot of praise at him for understanding these characters and really letting them live.

[12:35] Andrew DeWolf: That commentary is mostly just him, like, They wouldn't let me get my shots I wanted, so this scene sucks!

[12:44] Andrew DeWolf: Like, every scene is him whining about it not being as good as he wanted it to be.

[12:49] Jess McAnally: Oh, fuck off!

[12:50] Andrew DeWolf: Release the right cut! Release the right cut!

[12:54] Jess McAnally: And I'm like, oh, someone had to care about the character, so I'm willing to throw the praise for that to be at the actors.

[13:04] Andrew DeWolf: Because this is some of the most incredible actors I've ever seen.

[13:07] Jess McAnally: Keira Knightley, Matthew McFadyen, Don Sutherland, Rosamund Pike.

[13:11] Andrew DeWolf: People that had not hit yet, that eventually would have a very impressive career, nailing it very, very early on.

[13:18] Jess McAnally: Keira Knightley did hit already. She was in Pirates before this.

[13:21] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, but she's still very, very young.

[13:23] Jess McAnally: She's still young, but she did have a hit before this. She was the big ticket.

[13:26] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, but if she didn't do this, she might not have become an actor.

[13:29] Jess McAnally: Oh, exactly. Yeah, I'm just saying, that was their name.

[13:33] Andrew DeWolf: She was the big name. I'm talking more like the Jenna Malone's and, you know...

[13:37] Jess McAnally: Oh, you're a...

[13:38] Andrew DeWolf: Cary Mulligan.

[13:39] Jess McAnally: Cary Mulligan, who's just there.

[13:40] Andrew DeWolf: Andrew, what is the plot of this movie?

[13:43] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, so...

[13:45] Jess McAnally: Pardon me with character names, I'm always terrible.

[13:47] Andrew DeWolf: I think it's Elizabeth is the main character.

[13:49] Jess McAnally: Yes, I am the main character.

[13:51] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, you are the main character.

[13:53] Jess McAnally: Yes, I am.

[13:54] Andrew DeWolf: And then your boy toy, Mr. Darcy.

[13:57] Jess McAnally: Damn right, he's my boy toy.

[13:59] Andrew DeWolf: I'm not.

[14:01] Jess McAnally: Okay, but...

[14:02] Andrew DeWolf: So, Elizabeth's family is like this...

[14:07] Jess McAnally: I want to say like lower class, but they're really not.

[14:10] Andrew DeWolf: They're like middle class-ish.

[14:12] Jess McAnally: I will say, that's where it gets very confusing in a lot of other adaptations.

[14:15] Andrew DeWolf: Because everyone just kind of looks high class.

[14:18] Jess McAnally: But this movie does the job of...

[14:21] Andrew DeWolf: They're farm people.

[14:23] Jess McAnally: There's pigs roaming around the house, and there's mud where they live.

[14:26] Andrew DeWolf: But they still have servants though, so it's like...

[14:30] Jess McAnally: They didn't have like a...

[14:32] Andrew DeWolf: What's that maid lady who took them places?

[14:35] Jess McAnally: I forgot what that's called.

[14:37] Andrew DeWolf: A governess! They didn't have a governess.

[14:39] Jess McAnally: Yes.

[14:41] Andrew DeWolf: But they do work to try to make them look a little more lower class.

[14:45] Jess McAnally: And kind of communicate that visually without explaining the class politics of the time.

[14:50] Andrew DeWolf: So, they all need to get married.

[14:54] Jess McAnally: Because there's five daughters.

[14:56] Andrew DeWolf: Which they need to get married in order to live.

[15:00] Jess McAnally: Because that society...

[15:02] Andrew DeWolf: What year is this supposed to be? Like 1810 or something like that?

[15:08] Jess McAnally: The 18th century, this version is set in.

[15:11] Andrew DeWolf: To set it apart from the other version that came out in '95.

[15:14] Jess McAnally: The worst version.

[15:16] Andrew DeWolf: The Colin Firth version, for context.

[15:18] Jess McAnally: So they go to this party, and they're excited because this guy...

[15:22] Andrew DeWolf: They're excited for Mr. Darcy, right?

[15:25] Jess McAnally: No, Mr. Bingley!

[15:27] Andrew DeWolf: No, it's his friend.

[15:29] Jess McAnally: Because he's rich and single.

[15:31] Andrew DeWolf: I thought it was his friend, but I wasn't sure.

[15:33] Jess McAnally: Yeah.

[15:35] Andrew DeWolf: So they're excited because that guy's going to be there.

[15:37] Jess McAnally: But Mr. Darcy shows up as well.

[15:39] Andrew DeWolf: And immediately, this sad boy does not win anyone's heart.

[15:43] Jess McAnally: Elizabeth hates him.

[15:45] Andrew DeWolf: She thinks he's conceited.

[15:49] Jess McAnally: A prideful and prejudiced man?

[15:51] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, yes.

[15:55] Jess McAnally: Kind of the point of the title.

[15:58] Andrew DeWolf: So really, the whole movie...

[16:01] Jess McAnally: I don't know if I can go plot point by plot point.

[16:03] Andrew DeWolf: The whole movie is them meeting more and more and more often.

[16:07] Jess McAnally: And her finding...

[16:09] Andrew DeWolf: The whole first half of it is her finding different reasons to not like him.

[16:14] Jess McAnally: She forces his friend to break it off with her sister.

[16:21] Andrew DeWolf: She meets this soldier guy who tells a bad story about Mr. Darcy.

[16:26] Jess McAnally: And she's piling on these reasons not to like him.

[16:31] Andrew DeWolf: Because he's just the worst, right?

[16:33] Jess McAnally: But then, Mr. Darcy really likes her.

[16:37] Andrew DeWolf: And eventually, they confront each other about it.

[16:41] Jess McAnally: And he finds out that she doesn't like him.

[16:43] Andrew DeWolf: And she gives the reasons.

[16:45] Jess McAnally: And he sends her a letter that's like...

[16:47] Andrew DeWolf: You're totally wrong, actually.

[16:49] Jess McAnally: Here's why I did that stuff.

[16:51] Andrew DeWolf: And she was like, oh my god.

[16:53] Jess McAnally: I fucked up.

[16:55] Andrew DeWolf: No, no, no.

[16:57] Jess McAnally: She's not like, oh my god, I fucked up.

[16:59] Andrew DeWolf: She's more like, okay, whatever, fuck you.

[17:01] Jess McAnally: True, true.

[17:03] Andrew DeWolf: But eventually she is.

[17:05] Jess McAnally: Because she goes to visit with her uncle and aunt.

[17:07] Andrew DeWolf: Well, she is with her uncle and aunt.

[17:09] Jess McAnally: And she's going somewhere else.

[17:11] Andrew DeWolf: I forget where they're traveling to.

[17:13] Jess McAnally: Oh, their family.

[17:15] Andrew DeWolf: It doesn't matter.

[17:17] Jess McAnally: They pass through the town where Mr. Darcy's house is.

[17:21] Andrew DeWolf: And she goes and stops there.

[17:24] Jess McAnally: And he happens to be there with his sister.

[17:26] Andrew DeWolf: Right?

[17:28] Jess McAnally: I will say, during that moment when she looks through the window.

[17:30] Andrew DeWolf: Sees him and his sister.

[17:32] Jess McAnally: And there's that wacky zoom into her eye.

[17:34] Andrew DeWolf: Amazing!

[17:36] Jess McAnally: Why can't we do shit like that anymore?

[17:38] Andrew DeWolf: Um.

[17:40] Jess McAnally: Okay, you interrupted.

[17:42] Andrew DeWolf: Now I'm lost again.

[17:44] Jess McAnally: Okay, wait, wait, wait.

[17:46] Andrew DeWolf: I believe in you.

[17:48] Jess McAnally: He invites them to have dinner with him.

[17:50] Andrew DeWolf: Um.

[17:52] Jess McAnally: Um.

[17:54] Andrew DeWolf: And then there's an issue where one of her sisters.

[17:56] Jess McAnally: Ran away with the soldier guy.

[17:58] Andrew DeWolf: That Mr. Darcy.

[18:00] Jess McAnally: Well, he was gonna.

[18:02] Andrew DeWolf: The soldier guy was trying to get his inheritance.

[18:04] Jess McAnally: Right?

[18:06] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, I have to explain this now.

[18:08] Jess McAnally: Because it actually comes up again.

[18:10] Andrew DeWolf: Um.

[18:12] Jess McAnally: And Mr. Darcy's like, no, we're not doing that.

[18:14] Andrew DeWolf: Um.

[18:16] Jess McAnally: Because, fuck you.

[18:18] Andrew DeWolf: Because you just keep asking for more and more money.

[18:20] Jess McAnally: And then he's like, okay, I'll marry your 15-year-old sister.

[18:22] Andrew DeWolf: This is normal at the time, by the way.

[18:24] Jess McAnally: Uh.

[18:26] Andrew DeWolf: And then he's like, okay, I'll marry your sister.

[18:28] Jess McAnally: Because she's getting an inheritance.

[18:30] Andrew DeWolf: And then he's like, oh, you can marry my daughter.

[18:32] Jess McAnally: But you're not getting a drip of that inheritance.

[18:34] Andrew DeWolf: And then he's like, oh, fuck you.

[18:36] Jess McAnally: And that's what happened.

[18:38] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[18:40] Jess McAnally: But, upon hearing this.

[18:42] Andrew DeWolf: Um.

[18:44] Jess McAnally: Mr. Darcy works this out.

[18:46] Andrew DeWolf: To get the sister and the soldier married.

[18:48] Jess McAnally: Or something like that.

[18:50] Andrew DeWolf: And get them to come home.

[18:52] Jess McAnally: It's weird.

[18:54] Andrew DeWolf: Is the soldier like holding the sister hostage or something?

[18:56] Jess McAnally: No, no, no, no.

[18:58] Andrew DeWolf: It's like the sense of propriety.

[19:00] Jess McAnally: Like, oh, her virtue's been stolen.

[19:02] Andrew DeWolf: So.

[19:04] Jess McAnally: Yeah.

[19:06] Andrew DeWolf: So if they don't get married ASAP, the Bennett family is ruined in society.

[19:08] Jess McAnally: And none of the other daughters can get married.

[19:10] Andrew DeWolf: Because women's only value at the time was being marriageable and virginal.

[19:12] Jess McAnally: So.

[19:14] Andrew DeWolf: You know.

[19:17] Jess McAnally: That makes sense.

[19:19] Andrew DeWolf: And.

[19:21] Jess McAnally: It's only possible because of Mr. Darcy.

[19:23] Andrew DeWolf: And also their uncle.

[19:25] Jess McAnally: Who I don't think we ever see again.

[19:27] Andrew DeWolf: But when you see him.

[19:29] Jess McAnally: He does leave an impression, doesn't he?

[19:31] Andrew DeWolf: He does.

[19:33] Jess McAnally: And then.

[19:35] Andrew DeWolf: I think it was the sister.

[19:37] Jess McAnally: That was with Mr. Darcy's friend.

[19:39] Andrew DeWolf: Mr. Darcy brings the friend back.

[19:41] Jess McAnally: And they get back together?

[19:43] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[19:45] Jess McAnally: And Mr. Bingley, to not marry Rosamund Pike.

[19:47] Andrew DeWolf: Then tells him.

[19:49] Jess McAnally: Oh wait, no.

[19:51] Andrew DeWolf: Actually you should marry Rosamund Pike.

[19:53] Jess McAnally: My bad.

[19:55] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah.

[19:57] Jess McAnally: So really.

[19:59] Andrew DeWolf: The whole first half is like.

[20:01] Jess McAnally: Elizabeth comes up with a bunch of reasons not to like him.

[20:03] Andrew DeWolf: And then he's like.

[20:05] Jess McAnally: Well actually I had good reasons.

[20:07] Andrew DeWolf: But then he kind of goes back on everything anyways.

[20:09] Jess McAnally: Because of her.

[20:11] Andrew DeWolf: For her.

[20:13] Jess McAnally: You are forgetting.

[20:15] Andrew DeWolf: One very important plot point.

[20:17] Jess McAnally: And one very official actress.

[20:19] Andrew DeWolf: In Old Deuteronomy.

[20:21] Jess McAnally: Okay yeah.

[20:23] Andrew DeWolf: I love that character.

[20:25] Jess McAnally: Mr. Darcy.

[20:27] Andrew DeWolf: Has like an asshole aunt.

[20:29] Jess McAnally: Who's just like the most snobby piece of shit.

[20:31] Andrew DeWolf: Lady Catherine.

[20:33] Jess McAnally: Catherine de Bourgh.

[20:35] Andrew DeWolf: Just the worst piece of shit.

[20:37] Jess McAnally: You've ever fucking met in your life.

[20:39] Andrew DeWolf: Literally talking about the purity of their bloodline.

[20:42] Jess McAnally: And shit.

[20:44] Andrew DeWolf: She wants him to marry like.

[20:46] Jess McAnally: His own cousin or something.

[20:48] Andrew DeWolf: Because you gotta keep it pure baby.

[20:50] Jess McAnally: Also.

[20:52] Andrew DeWolf: Lindsay was about to marry her own cousin.

[20:54] Jess McAnally: Potentially.

[20:56] Andrew DeWolf: So this is just normal I guess.

[20:58] Jess McAnally: It's just how things are done you know.

[21:00] Andrew DeWolf: That's why all the rich people are fucked.

[21:02] Jess McAnally: That's how you get Elon Musk.

[21:04] Andrew DeWolf: No.

[21:06] Jess McAnally: This is a man.

[21:08] Andrew DeWolf: That knows how to marry his cousin.

[21:10] Jess McAnally: But she.

[21:12] Andrew DeWolf: Shows up early on.

[21:14] Jess McAnally: And.

[21:16] Andrew DeWolf: Liz just like pisses her off.

[21:18] Jess McAnally: Yes I did.

[21:20] Andrew DeWolf: And then she hears a rumor.

[21:22] Jess McAnally: About like oh shit.

[21:24] Andrew DeWolf: They're gonna get married maybe.

[21:26] Jess McAnally: I don't actually know who tells her.

[21:28] Andrew DeWolf: But she hears it somehow.

[21:30] Jess McAnally: It was one of the other soldier guys hanging out.

[21:32] Andrew DeWolf: It's one of the wildest things.

[21:34] Jess McAnally: There's just one gossipy soldier.

[21:36] Andrew DeWolf: That whispers to her at church.

[21:38] Jess McAnally: Disappears for the rest of the movie.

[21:40] Andrew DeWolf: Best character.

[21:42] Jess McAnally: That's you Jess.

[21:44] Andrew DeWolf: That's me.

[21:46] Jess McAnally: So she shows up at.

[21:48] Andrew DeWolf: The Bennett house.

[21:50] Jess McAnally: And is like.

[21:52] Andrew DeWolf: Don't you ever dare touch him.

[21:54] Jess McAnally: Or lay a finger on him.

[21:56] Andrew DeWolf: Or even try to think about maybe.

[21:58] Jess McAnally: Trying to think about him.

[22:00] Andrew DeWolf: And then you never see her again.

[22:02] Jess McAnally: After Liz tells her to fuck off.

[22:04] Andrew DeWolf: And then they get married.

[22:07] Jess McAnally: The question is.

[22:09] Andrew DeWolf: Is she marrying Darcy because she loves him.

[22:11] Jess McAnally: Or is she doing it to spite that old woman.

[22:13] Andrew DeWolf: Because I feel like she wouldn't have said yes.

[22:15] Jess McAnally: If that old bitch didn't show up.

[22:17] Andrew DeWolf: Nah she loved him at that point.

[22:19] Jess McAnally: Didn't you watch the fucking movie.

[22:21] Andrew DeWolf: Didn't you watch the statue.

[22:23] Jess McAnally: Like half an hour before that scene.

[22:25] Andrew DeWolf: Jess did you watch the fucking movie.

[22:27] Jess McAnally: Like come on man.

[22:29] Andrew DeWolf: I don't know.

[22:31] Jess McAnally: I think Lizzy is just so fucking prideful.

[22:33] Andrew DeWolf: And prejudiced.

[22:35] Jess McAnally: And prejudiced.

[22:37] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah that's the point.

[22:39] Jess McAnally: They're both prideful and prejudiced.

[22:41] Andrew DeWolf: And they get over it.

[22:43] Jess McAnally: It's just like.

[22:45] Andrew DeWolf: As soon as she's put into a situation.

[22:47] Jess McAnally: Where someone doesn't want that to happen.

[22:49] Andrew DeWolf: She's like.

[22:51] Jess McAnally: Oh then that's going to fucking happen then.

[22:53] Andrew DeWolf: Because fuck you.

[22:55] Jess McAnally: I mean.

[22:57] Andrew DeWolf: Look there was a number of factors.

[22:59] Jess McAnally: Yeah there's a series of things that occurred.

[23:01] Andrew DeWolf: Like he saved her sister's life.

[23:03] Jess McAnally: So that's the plot.

[23:05] Andrew DeWolf: That's the plot.

[23:07] Jess McAnally: We did the plot.

[23:09] Andrew DeWolf: There you go.

[23:11] Jess McAnally: What did you like so much about this movie Jess?

[23:13] Andrew DeWolf: Is there anything not to like about it?

[23:15] Jess McAnally: Like everything is just so excellently done. And doing so in ways that is both effective, short, concise, and you don't lose any of the emotion. And there's those slow moments. Like I just think about the way that the weather changes. Like I think about that scene. The swing that leads us into the next season. And these long shots of her. Standing on a mountain. That we don't really need. But god damn I'm happy they're there. I saw this in a movie theater about two years ago. And it is so much better on the biggest screen you can get. My god. And those long shots. Where we just follow them through that dance. And it doesn't cut. There is zero faults with this movie. I'm pretty sure when Grace Aki and I did our romcom rankings, we were number two. And I still stand by that. Whatever my choice was.

[24:06] Andrew DeWolf: How is this a romcom?

[24:08] Jess McAnally: I'm just throwing it out there.

[24:10] Andrew DeWolf: There's no calm here.

[24:12] Jess McAnally: The mom is a calm.

[24:14] Andrew DeWolf: Donald Sutherland as the dad has a few really good remarks. He's like.

[24:18] Jess McAnally: I'm aware of your nerves. They are my constant companion.

[24:24] Andrew DeWolf: There's some good lines. This is also the basis for modern romcoms. This is kind of important for basic bitch romcoms. I'm saying it's just a rom.

[24:30] Jess McAnally: This is a rom.

[24:32] Andrew DeWolf: We're romming it up right now.

[24:34] Jess McAnally: There's no calm.

[24:36] Andrew DeWolf: We're all rom.

[24:38] Jess McAnally: Such romantics.

[24:40] Andrew DeWolf: I think it's very breezy. For a two-hour movie, it does not feel like two hours.

[24:52] Jess McAnally: For me, I'm not a fan of the stuffy, old-timey romance where everyone needs to talk really formally. No one does anything sexual. I'm not a huge fan of that. For me to feel like it's breezy, they did something right. This is the most boring genre for me ever. I sat through two hours. It didn't feel like a pain.

[25:20] Andrew DeWolf: Now I'm curious. I don't remember. How did the movie end?

[25:26] ♪ Musical number ♪

[32:02] Jesse McAnally: And truly, I would be fascinated to talk about that movie if I could make it to the end without the fuckin' girl from, uh, The Ring coming out and eating my soul. I'm not totally convinced that won't happen. Okay, I remember trailers for this movie and then forgetting them, like, immediately. Like, afterwards. It's totally like the silence from Doctor Who. As soon as you look away, you forgot it existed.

[32:29] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, honestly, you just brought back a lot of memories of 2018 movie marketing. Um, yeah. Uh, so, speaking of 2018 movie marketing, how about we compare our opinions to those of the real critics over on Letterboxd.com? It's time for Previews!

[32:43] Jesse McAnally: And Andrew, you better play the theme this time, because you didn't last week. You gotta sprinkle it in here and there, you know? It's time for Previews!

[32:52] Jesse McAnally: Previews!

[32:54] Jesse McAnally: It's time for Previews! Alright, in case this is your first episode of The Cheese Wheel, and there's a good chance it is, uh, this is a game where I pull real Letterboxd reviews off of Letterboxd.com, and Andrew and Liz have to go head-to-head to guess whether they're a one-star or five-star based on nothing but the review alone. Alright, are you guys ready?

[33:13] Liz Esten: I'm always ready.

[33:15] Andrew DeWolf: I'm ready to lose.

[33:16] Jesse McAnally: Liz, I think you might win. So, you're first.

[33:20] Liz Esten: Okay.

[33:21] Liz Esten: Hot autistic male having his moment.

[33:25] Jesse McAnally: Five.

[33:26] Liz Esten: That is correct! You're on the board!

[33:28] Jesse McAnally: Yay!

[33:29] Jesse McAnally: Andrew.

[33:30] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah?

[33:31] Jesse McAnally: Early morning walk propaganda.

[33:35] Andrew DeWolf: You don't need propaganda for early morning walks, they're just always good. Late night walks, too. Anytime where the sun's not out and you go for a walk, it's like...

[33:45] Andrew DeWolf: And it comes out by the time you're done?

[33:47] Jesse McAnally: No, no, it should be fully gone by the time it's done. You know, whatever.

[33:50] Jesse McAnally: We're gonna say five for that one.

[33:55] Jesse McAnally: That is correct!

[33:57] Liz Esten: Yes?

[33:58] Jesse McAnally: Not the fringe.

[34:00] Liz Esten: Oh, the bangs.

[34:01] Jesse McAnally: You mean the bangs.

[34:03] Liz Esten: I'm assuming they're British.

[34:05] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, the fringe is British for bangs.

[34:09] Liz Esten: One.

[34:10] Jesse McAnally: That is correct!

[34:11] Jesse McAnally: Andrew.

[34:12] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah?

[34:13] Jesse McAnally: I'm gonna need a Muppet adaptation with Nathan Fielder as Mr. Collins stat.

[34:17] Andrew DeWolf: This would be a great movie.

[34:18] Jesse McAnally: That's fucking awesome. The problem with this as a Muppet adaptation is that there's not enough female Muppets.

[34:25] Andrew DeWolf: There just isn't.

[34:26] Jesse McAnally: Yeah.

[34:27] Jesse McAnally: That's just a problem in general with the Muppets.

[34:29] Andrew DeWolf: It is an issue. I think that they need to just add more, but Disney is afraid to do anything with Muppets. And they're not gonna include the sexy girlfriend Muppet from the show, so...

[34:40] Liz Esten: Jess was about to bring that up.

[34:42] Jesse McAnally: Yeah, because Jess texted me like, last week out of the blue, top three favorite Muppets, go! And then he just talked about her.

[34:47] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I gave my top three favorite Muppets, and he didn't even correct me when I spelled Rolfe wrong.

[34:54] Liz Esten: Yeah, I also said Rolfe, and I think I spelled it right!

[34:57] Andrew DeWolf: I spelled it like James Rolfe.

[34:59] Liz Esten: Oh, I spelled it like W-R-O-W-L-F-F.

[35:02] Andrew DeWolf: I think that's right.

[35:03] Liz Esten: Yeah, that's the correct spell.

[35:04] Jesse McAnally: I think the sad thing is, you guys will now discover I text y'all the same shit whenever I'm feeling like it. So, this is gonna get a...

[35:13] Andrew DeWolf: This is gonna get a once...

[35:15] Jesse McAnally: No...

[35:16] Andrew DeWolf: No, no, it is...

[35:17] Jesse McAnally: I'm gonna give it a one.

[35:18] Andrew DeWolf: I think it's a one star.

[35:19] Jesse McAnally: That's a five.

[35:20] Andrew DeWolf: Why would they know who Mr. Collins is if they didn't love this movie?

[35:23] Jesse McAnally: Because they've read the fucking book, okay? And they wanna Muppet at me.

[35:26] Andrew DeWolf: Well, they watched like eight other adaptations of it.

[35:28] Jesse McAnally: That's a good argument. Alright, Liz.

[35:30] Liz Esten: Yes?

[35:31] Jesse McAnally: Lol, maybe I'm Borkin.

[35:32] Liz Esten: I'm Borkin?

[35:34] Jesse McAnally: Swedish Chef.

[35:35] Liz Esten: Oh, oh, okay.

[35:37] Jesse McAnally: Okay, why is all the Muppet-related shit on this fucking letterbox face? What the hell?

[35:41] Andrew DeWolf: Don't let Andrew Gass let you.

[35:43] Jesse McAnally: They meant to say Broken, but they spelled Borkin.

[35:46] Liz Esten: Bork, Bork, Bork.

[35:50] Andrew DeWolf: I believed it.

[35:51] Liz Esten: I fully believed it.

[35:52] Andrew DeWolf: Goddamn.

[35:54] Liz Esten: Five.

[35:55] Jesse McAnally: They're sad.

[35:56] Andrew DeWolf: Nope.

[35:57] Jesse McAnally: Damn.

[35:58] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah?

[36:00] Jesse McAnally: What the cunt?

[36:02] Liz Esten: Jez, you're not allowed to say that.

[36:04] Andrew DeWolf: I just did. I'm allowed to say that.

[36:07] Liz Esten: He's British, he can say it.

[36:08] Jesse McAnally: Question mark, exclamation point, question mark, exclamation point at the end. Forgot that.

[36:14] Andrew DeWolf: One.

[36:15] Jesse McAnally: That is correct, and Andrew, you and Liz are tied.

[36:20] Liz Esten: Yes?

[36:21] Jesse McAnally: I'm just a girl.

[36:24] Liz Esten: I'm just a girl.

[36:25] Jesse McAnally: That's the ultimate pitch for liking this movie. Like, I'm just a girl. I just want a man to hold my hand in a romantic way. That's all I want.

[36:35] Liz Esten: Five.

[36:36] Jesse McAnally: That is correct. I will say, one of my favorite things that happened on set of my movie is I asked a PA to go help set up chairs and her response was, I'm just a girl before sitting down. And it was the funniest shit I'd ever seen.

[36:48] Liz Esten: That's so good!

[36:51] Jesse McAnally: And I think about that at least once or twice a day.

[36:54] Liz Esten: That's so funny.

[36:55] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah?

[36:57] Jesse McAnally: Not to be a teenage girl, but when will someone love me that much?

[37:03] Andrew DeWolf: Never, I'm sorry. Mr. Darcy's love is only for one.

[37:07] Jesse McAnally: That's true.

[37:08] Jesse McAnally: It's me.

[37:09] Liz Esten: It's Liz.

[37:11] Jesse McAnally: Romance is way faster now. You would never have months of hating somebody and then get a chance.

[37:19] Andrew DeWolf: I will say, unless you're in school. Because then you're kind of forced in proximity every day where you can kind of let hate fester into something different.

[37:29] Jesse McAnally: Really, that's the problem. We just don't get enough time to let hate fester anymore. We have to just let our hate out at all times.

[37:35] Andrew DeWolf: On Twitter.

[37:40] Jesse McAnally: So, we're going to give this a 5 because it is a lustful review. And yes, Andrew, you have tied it up and there's two more questions and we can make this happen.

[37:50] Liz Esten: Alright, Liz.

[37:52] Jesse McAnally: Yes?

[37:53] Jesse McAnally: Help! I cannot unsee Tom Wobbscans!

[37:56] Liz Esten: I'm so sorry for your soul.

[37:59] Jesse McAnally: Succession ruins.

[38:02] Liz Esten: I've never seen Succession. I cannot talk about it properly.

[38:05] Jesse McAnally: It's good.

[38:09] Andrew DeWolf: Stressful and I don't like it.

[38:11] Jess McAnally: Anyway, uh, 5.

[38:13] Andrew DeWolf: That is correct!

[38:14] Jess McAnally: All right, Andrew, you can tie it up.

[38:16] Andrew DeWolf: Oh boy. Never seen it, but I know it's not Pride & Prejudice and Zombies.

[38:21] Jess McAnally: Shrug emoji. We're gonna say 1 just because this feels like a stupid review by a stupid person.

[38:27] Andrew DeWolf: And that is correct!

[38:28] Jess McAnally: And Andrew, you have tied the letterboxd game!

[38:32] Andrew DeWolf: Ayyyyy! I'll take it!

[38:33] Jess McAnally: Victory for both of us!

[38:35] Andrew DeWolf: I'll take it, honestly. We both lost, whatever you wanna say.

[38:37] Jess McAnally: This is a better win than music, so I'll take it.

[38:40] Andrew DeWolf: It's gonna be heart and music!

[38:44] Jess McAnally: Let's go into a mid-show and then talk about some more shit.

[38:47] Andrew DeWolf: I don't know.

[39:00] Jess McAnally: Um, all right, all right! Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt you in the middle of the show, but we've got a shill on you!

[39:04] Jess McAnally: Today's show is brought to you by the extremely kind donations by our donors over at Patreon!

[39:08] Jess McAnally: Patreon's this lovely place where you can get a lot of fun stuff! Um, in case you're interested, our Patreon meetup for this month will be September 28th, and that's available to all patrons that are paying us more than $10!

[39:20] Jess McAnally: Last month, BigBeak joined us. Um, hopefully Andrew and Liz will be able to make it, but if not, I'll be there and we'll have a good time and make some stuff happen!

[39:29] Jess McAnally: Um, you're also getting a lot of exclusive content. Andrew is getting you guys the fully edited episode a day early. You will be getting the video episodes as we record it, as you are getting, um, currently we have our own Toriana Frazier and uh, Goldplated Kiki Moore listening to us as we do these live, and that's pretty, that's pretty interesting if you ask me!

[39:50] Jess McAnally: Um, we have also selected October's, uh, Patreon request. Uh, are we ready to hear what it is? I know what it is already, but I'm ready!

[40:01] Andrew DeWolf: So, we had a lot of fun choices, but our patrons have decided for our October episode, we will be covering both Scary Godmother 1 and 2, as suggested by our patron Puffyboy!

[40:13] Jess McAnally: So! Hell yeah! Yeah, that's a good choice, that's, that's gonna be a fun choice!

[40:17] Andrew DeWolf: I don't think I know anything about this.

[40:19] Jess McAnally: Scary Godmother?

[40:19] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:19] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:19] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:19] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:20] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:20] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:20] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:20] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:20] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:20] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:20] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:20] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:20] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:20] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:20] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:20] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:21] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:21] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:21] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:21] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:21] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:21] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:21] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:21] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:21] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:21] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:21] Andrew DeWolf: What?!

[40:21] Jess McAnally: What?!

[40:24] Andrew DeWolf: I watched the shit out of these as a kid!

[40:26] Jess McAnally: Are these Disney Channel?

[40:27] Andrew DeWolf: Cartoon Network!

[40:27] Jess McAnally: Yeah, they're horrifying to look at, like, don't, don't look up any pictures or clips yet, wait till you watch it the first time, it's horrific!

[40:34] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I don't think I know anything about this.

[40:37] Jess McAnally: It is your spooky shit, but for, for babies!

[40:40] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, it's really baby stuff. I, I like it when they try to actually scare babies though, because babies need to be scared.

[40:45] Jess McAnally: The world's a scary place, and babies should be no exception.

[40:51] Andrew DeWolf: Um, Jimmy's pretty scary, and he makes them pretty scary.

[40:55] Jess McAnally: Let's be honest, everyone is scary.

[40:57] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I think it might have caused nightmares without hyperbole, um.

[41:02] Jess McAnally: I got nightmares from Courage the Cowardly Dog and it made me a better person.

[41:06] Andrew DeWolf: True, I also had that experience.

[41:08] Jess McAnally: Um, I-

[41:09] Andrew DeWolf: The Slab episode.

[41:11] Jess McAnally: Everyone has the Slab, the Slab episode does not hit as hard if you're not watching on an old CRT TV, in my opinion.

[41:18] Andrew DeWolf: It fucking hit pretty damn hard though.

[41:20] Jess McAnally: It hit pretty hard on my shitty TV, or my big TV.

[41:23] Andrew DeWolf: No, I'm talking, I'm saying if you pull it up on HBO Max right now, it's like, oh, it's kind of cheesy.

[41:26] Jess McAnally: But if it's kind of blurry and shitty and you're 15 feet away from it-

[41:31] Andrew DeWolf: Return the Slab.

[41:33] Jess McAnally: But it's also the argument of like, we were also kids when we watched it the first time, and now we're old.

[41:38] Andrew DeWolf: Read our patron list, Jess.

[41:39] Jess McAnally: Yeah, read our patrons, why are we on this?

[41:42] Jess McAnally: Our current patrons that need to return the Slab or un-bear my curse is Justa Stampede, Ewan Cassidy, Monica Thoreau, Brent Black, Lathania Slacey-Kuhn, Mary Lou Shoket, Jon Van Alls, Ross Walker, Musical Hell, Emily Gracie, Jhene Seascoot, The Technicolor Dreamcoat, Nothing is Certain Except Beth, and Taxes.

[42:00] Jess McAnally: Jon Van Alls, Thesbian, Chai Tea Cup, Chris Smartcoat, Keechi Marie Anastasio, Trevi Joseph, RJ Noriega, Julia McClennan, Joe, Bjorn Hermans, Toriana Frazier, who suggested this episode we're talking about today, so thank you Toriana, Sammy the Adequate of Mount Jacobson, who is getting kissed a lot, good for them, Hilly Blaze here,

[42:17] Andrew DeWolf: Stop talking about Sammy's kisses, it's getting weird.

[42:21] Jess McAnally: Nope, Villainous Miss, The Omega Geek, Paige Pearson, Maddie Wargill, Lisa Erdman, Anna Loscatova, Evan Ball, Zachary Torres, Rora Marasso, Mara, Lisa L., Possessed Washing Machine, Nick Roten, Puffy Boy, Sydney Hicks, Billy Clifton, Gold Plated Kiki Mora,

[42:36] Jess McAnally: Um, and Liz, did you see Gold Plated Kiki Mora made you a Minecraft figure to go along with ours?

[42:40] Liz Esten: I did, I did, thank you, I'm honored, I'm truly honored.

[42:44] Jess McAnally: Artie, Aria Artie, Emma, Kara, Balda, JRL Studios, Alexandra, Dom, and BT McMenany. Um, they all give us some financial support that helps us keep the lights on here at Musicals & Cheese, if you'd like to support us and help us keep the lights on, we'd really appreciate it, honestly. Um, we're kind of dipping low on patrons and it's getting to the point where I can't pay Andrew anymore, so it would be great if we got some new patrons, and if you have ideas on how to make it worth your while, because I know that these are hard times out there, it's hard out there to be a pimp like you, um, because you're killing it so much, just share the show, leave a review, tell people about it. If you tell two people, they'll tell two people, and they'll tell two people, and then eventually we'll be ruling the world. Um, how about we get back to the show.

[43:27] Jess McAnally: So, which Bennett sister do you think you are, Andrew?

[43:43] Andrew DeWolf: Well, I, I think I'm, I'm Liz.

[43:50] Jess McAnally: Well, you can't be Liz, because Liz is Liz.

[43:56] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I have to be, I have to be Liz.

[43:56] Jess McAnally: You can have more than one Liz.

[43:56] Andrew DeWolf: No, you can't. In this case, you have to pick another one.

[44:02] Jess McAnally: Well, I think it's best to not leave it up to us to decide who is the most incredible, or which Bennett sister we are, but we should leave it to BuzzFeed to decide which Bennett sister we are.

[44:10] Andrew DeWolf: Is BuzzFeed really a relevant source here? This, this quiz was made in 2020 by a community member, I don't fucking know, is the first thing I'm gonna google.

[44:17] Jess McAnally: Andrew, Andrew, it is the best way to discuss this. BuzzFeed quizzes are what birthed this movie.

[44:23] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, it's in the private chat if you want to take it, Andrew.

[44:28] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, I've got it, I've got it. We're taking it all together. We are doing this as a collective. Um, so, are we ready to find out which Bennett sister from Pride and Prejudice we are? Um, how would you describe yourself? Caring, adventurous, unique, good-humored, and confident. I think we're pretty good-humored. Either good-humored, or caring, or confident.

[44:51] Andrew DeWolf: I'm going good-humored.

[44:51] Jess McAnally: Yeah, I don't think, I don't think we're good-humored.

[44:56] Andrew DeWolf: What animal are you? A cat, a horse, a dog, a butterfly, or a turtle? A cat or turtle. I'm feeling turtle.

[45:06] Jess McAnally: Um, pick a color that accurately reflects your personality. Purple, pink, black, yellow, or blue? Blue.

[45:11] Andrew DeWolf: Blue. I thought yellow because cheese, but whatever.

[45:17] Jess McAnally: No, blue.

[45:17] Andrew DeWolf: Fuck, Jess, cheese is not my entire life.

[45:22] Jess McAnally: Yeah, cheese is not my personality. It's just most of it.

[45:28] Andrew DeWolf: Pick your favorite season. Summer, autumn, spring, winter, I love them all. Autumn.

[45:35] Jess McAnally: You gotta go with the Doug Walker choice, I love them all. You know, it was all good. All seasons are great. Scooter.

[45:41] Andrew DeWolf: I don't need the rest. I don't need to read the rest. What is your preferred mode of transportation? Scooter, hitchhiking, bus, walking, or car? Hitchhiking.

[45:47] Jess McAnally: Scooter.

[45:47] Andrew DeWolf: Scooter. Just like it's your, what do you look for in a partner? Similarities, hosties, loyalty, humor. I think humor.

[45:51] Jess McAnally: Humor.

[45:51] Andrew DeWolf: Humor. Looks. Fuck you. You know we're Kitty Bennett!

[46:06] Jess McAnally: Oh. Oh god, we're the little sister. Um, we're the one that ends up with a soldier. This is a bad ending. This is the actual worst ending, oh my god.

[46:13] Andrew DeWolf: Okay, in my heart, I'm Elizabeth Bennett. We have happy personality and find joy in many things, including a husband that will never love us.

[46:19] Jess McAnally: Okay. I'm gonna take this for myself and see what I get.

[46:26] Andrew DeWolf: No, that's cheating!

[46:26] Jess McAnally: Too bad! We did this fair and square! Um, that being said, what, I really think that this has everything. This is the fucking whole kit and caboodle as far as a film goes, and I know I've said that a ton, but why don't we get more Regency romances? And when we do, why are they seem embarrassed to be a Regency romance?

[46:48] Andrew DeWolf: Well, they should be embarrassed. It's an embarrassing genre. Um, but if you're gonna do it, you should have some confidence and some balls and just actually do it.

[46:59] Jess McAnally: What I think is incredible is that this is the, this guy's first movie, and it's the only time he nailed it. It's like an M. Night Shyamalan, uh, Shyamalan.

[47:05] Andrew DeWolf: Motherfucker! God fucking damn, I can't fucking tell you.

[47:11] Jess McAnally: How dare you? How dare you in our house? This is a safe space.

[47:17] Andrew DeWolf: M. Night Shyamalan directed the best thriller of 2024 in Trap, one of the greatest films of American cinema. If I have to hear Jess talk about Trap one more time, I'm going to.

[47:28] Jess McAnally: Isn't Trap that, that band that released that one song and then became racist?

[47:32] Andrew DeWolf: No, that's Smash Mouth. Um, no, Trap is M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, and it's like one of the best films I've seen in a long time. It does everything that I think Pride and Prejudice does in confidence and quality and overall effectiveness in storytelling.

[47:47] Jess McAnally: Did you really just compare Pride and Prejudice to fucking Trap?

[47:52] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, I did. A scene where a man explains what an uncle is. You know what? If someone explained what an uncle was in Pride and Prejudice, maybe everyone would be marrying their cousins. Checkmate.

[48:04] Jess McAnally: Okay, if anyone wants Jess and I to talk about Trap on Patreon, tell us. I will, I will do it just so we stop talking about every recording.

[48:09] Andrew DeWolf: Every, I mean, Andrew brought up M. Night Shyamalan. Like, I feel like it was worth bringing up. I was comparing the fact that the director made a good movie right at the start of their career, and then kind of just fell off.

[48:20] Jess McAnally: M. Night Shyamalan didn't fall off it, though.

[48:26] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, he did. He fully fucking did. Come on, it was like two good movies at the beginning, and then it was-

[48:31] Jess McAnally: He made two good movies, he had a drop, and then he came back with The Visit, dropped again with Split and Glass, and then went back up again with Old, kind of.

[48:41] Andrew DeWolf: I think Split is, like, really well-respected and well-liked. I feel like that's unfair to include in there.

[48:46] Jess McAnally: No, I don't think Split is that well-respected and well-liked.

[48:50] Andrew DeWolf: It was a box office hit, and was well-reviewed by critics.

[48:53] Jess McAnally: Yeah, but like, over the years, people are like, Split's kind of bad, though.

[48:57] Andrew DeWolf: I thought Split was okay. Glass was not, though. Glass looked really bad.

[49:03] Jess McAnally: I have not watched Glass, but I still think- I watched Bolt.

[49:06] Andrew DeWolf: I think The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Sign, The Village, that's a great run. Lady in the Water might be the worst film ever made.

[49:13] Jess McAnally: Yes, that's correct.

[49:19] Andrew DeWolf: The Happening, I think time's gonna come around on that film.

[49:24] Jess McAnally: I think the problem with that-

[49:26] Andrew DeWolf: It already has.

[49:26] Jess McAnally: It already has, and it's circled back to being bad.

[49:29] Andrew DeWolf: I think the reason why that film doesn't work is Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. Those two performances are what's ruining that movie.

[49:35] Jess McAnally: Plan on murdering me in my sleep.

[49:43] Andrew DeWolf: What? No!

[49:45] Jess McAnally: But then The Visit, which I hear is great. Knock at the Cabin Door-

[49:49] Andrew DeWolf: Knock at the Cabin and Old are incredible, and Trap is an old-timer.

[49:54] Jess McAnally: I wouldn't call Old incredible. I only liked Old because I had mono at the time, and my brain was so foggy, I was like, this is pretty good, actually. But in retrospect, it's not.

[50:04] Andrew DeWolf: I think Old is doing some fascinating, intentional things, and I feel Toriana Frazier wants us to talk about Trap.

[50:10] Jess McAnally: Yeah, and your Patreon requested an episode, I'll talk more about Trap.

[50:15] Andrew DeWolf: Should we get back to the pride and prejudice of it all, rather than talking about M. Night's career?

[50:24] Jess McAnally: But Joe Wright, as a director, he really hit it out of the park with his first one, and he's never touched anything close to this, despite other things.

[50:33] Andrew DeWolf: The cinematography in this is probably one of its highest praises, and it's the same cinematographer as your beloved The Autopsy of Jane Doe, and that also has very similar choices being made.

[50:44] Jess McAnally: Yeah. Autopsy of Jane Doe is great. I should- I think I have my list.

[50:48] Andrew DeWolf: It is on your list.

[50:49] Jess McAnally: Okay, good, good, good. Yeah, I must make-

[50:51] Andrew DeWolf: Yes, but-

[50:52] Andrew DeWolf: And maybe the director is more of a fluke? Not to be that guy. But I'd also credit her with understanding the characters. More so than Joe Wright and the actors. She got it down and made it clear where it's going to go in the script. Because this script is incredible. It's so concise. My favorite moments are things where they don't have to tell us how they're feeling. Where it's a short scene where it's Lizzie and her sister in bed. And then the sister's like, are you feeling okay? And then she just looks off into space and then blows out the candle. And that's the answer. And I'm like, that's great! That's cinema! There's so many small moments that tell so much story in such a short time. But I also feel like Joe Wright at the time was a TV director.

Just TV directors at the time. Into this era very much. We hire you to make the episode. We're going to tell you how to make it type of thing. So his vision might not have been exactly what this is. And maybe it was a cinematographer. We don't fucking know. I know that Joe Wright recently did Cyrano. And it doesn't look even a quarter as good as that movie or as Pride and Prejudice did. Yeah, so it could be a cinematographer who did a lot of the good stuff. So we don't know.

[52:41] Liz Esten: Yeah. Is there another Regency romance that even touches this as far as quality goes, like in the film world? Have you seen any other kind of Regency romance where you're like, oh, that's it. That's scratching that brain feeling for me?

[52:55] Andrew DeWolf: Emma 2020.

[52:57] Liz Esten: Did you? Okay.

[52:58] Andrew DeWolf: I'd say Emma 2020. This is the one with Ani Taylor-Joy and Josh O'Connor pre-Challengers. My precious baby boy, Josh O'Connor. I really like it. It's modern but older. Like the costumes aren't period accurate, but they don't feel like they're wearing jeans and a t-shirt. You know what I mean? But it's very true to the Emma book as written, while also being a new, like brighter colors, good character dynamics. And this is probably my favorite Ani Taylor-Joy movie, like in terms of acting ability. I love her in the menu, but she's not the main character of that. That's Bray Fiennes. So Emma kind of scratches that for me, but also the last Regency thing I watched was Bridgerton.

[53:45] Liz Esten: Which I love hate.

[53:47] Andrew DeWolf: I love hate Bridgerton.

[53:50] Liz Esten: Bridgerton is the kind of Regency romance I hate, where it's like, we're embarrassed to be a Regency romance. We're going to play pop music and swear. I watched a show called My Lady Jane about one of the queens that got beheaded. What if she didn't get beheaded? And also her husband was a horse at night. And I'm just like, this is stupid. And it got canceled after one season, surprising nobody. I think my favorite Regency romance story is still Jane Eyre. I think that the Orson Welles film is truly one of the most impressive pieces of filmmaking of that time. But I might just be a simp for Orson Welles. So we'll find out one day when we cover Citizen Kane. So I don't know if that's just me being like, I love Orson Welles, or if it's an actually good movie. And I am brave enough to say that.

[54:40] Andrew DeWolf: I also really like the 2011 Jane Eyre with Michael Fassbender and Mia Wasikowska. Michael Fassbender is not Rochester, though. He's not Rochester, but I still like the movie. It's really well made. And it's made by the same guy who made one of my all-time favorite movies. So I like it. Did he rape someone? I don't know. I didn't look into it. Harry Fukunaga, didn't he, like, do a sex assault on someone?

[55:08] Liz Esten: Why are you ruining it?

[55:11] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, yeah, yeah. He committed grooming.

[55:16] Liz Esten: Yep. Whoops. Well, I guess never let me go. I have to go off my Letterboxd page. If only I could log into it. Oh, he went full Jew-Oreo. God fucking damn it. What's your favorite H.C. romance, Andrew?

[55:31] Andrew DeWolf: I think I've already made it clear I don't really like the genre. So I'm going to go with this one that we just watched that I actually kind of liked. That leads into our cheese ratings pretty well. What is our overall thoughts on Pride and Prejudice 2005 and our cheese ratings? Andrew, you're up first.

[55:46] Andrew DeWolf: It's a good movie in a genre I'm not a huge fan of. But it makes very good use of its time. It's shot very well. There's very good acting in it. None of it's, like, boring. They don't waste your time at all. And I feel like part of the reason I don't usually like this genre is I feel like there is a lot of, like, just, you know, conversations where they use old-timey English to, like, just waste my time and just never do anything. They wrote the script just to waste your time. Yeah, they literally they're like, you know what? Let's make him listen to this shit. It's just like, let's have two people just talk about something and nothing happens. But I feel like everything is deliberate here. If there's a conversation happening, it's because it's of consequence.

Like, it's good. I thought it was a good sit. I'm not going to say it's, like, my favorite or anything like that. I'm probably not going to watch it again anytime soon, at least not on my own. But I thought it was pretty good. So I'm going to give it a cheddar cheese, which sounds lame. But if you look up cheese that they ate in the 1800s, it's cheddar. It's Swiss. It's Gouda. It's the standards. So you got to give it cheddar.

[57:06] Liz Esten: You know what? That's fair enough. And Liz, what about you?

[57:10] Liz Esten: I love this movie. Also, I do want to point out, I took that BuzzFeed quiz by myself with my own answers, and I did get Elizabeth Bennet. So just saying. Anyway, I like this movie a lot. It's delight. It's such a delightful. It's such a comfort movie. It's breezy. It's like a hug. I love it. I love I just love this type of shit. I love, like, how holding a hand, holding someone's hand for the first time is like the equivalent of a first kiss. Like, I love that shit. The hand twitch, though. Oh, God, the hand twitch gets me every time. I love it. I love it. I love it. Also, I was long distance with my boyfriend during COVID. So we couldn't come in contact with each other at all because he was out of state. So every time I held his hand, I'm like, wow, I'm in pride and prejudice right now. God damn. Six months and all I got is a handful.

[58:03] Andrew DeWolf: But all I got was a hand.

[58:05] Liz Esten: Well, in the 1800s, they called that a hand job.

[58:07] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, that's basically an 1800s hand job.

[58:10] Liz Esten: Anyway, I'm going to give this just a really good cheesecake because it always makes you feel better.

[58:17] Andrew DeWolf: That's a good one. This is one of the greatest films ever made. Truly peak. No faults, no notes. Nothing could make it better. If I were to try to suggest changes, I would only ruin what is already there. So I would never dare to do it. If you haven't watched it, do yourself a favor. Even Andrew liked it. And Andrew hates most things.

[58:41] Andrew DeWolf: I am a hater. I can admit that.

[58:45] Liz Esten: He's one of those people that just despises most things that people love. You might call him a hipster.

[58:50] Andrew DeWolf: Hmm, maybe.

[58:54] Liz Esten: Um, but this film is perfect. Zero notes. Total perfection.

[58:57] Andrew DeWolf: And much like that, I am giving this, um, the Bennett family cheese cheese company where you can take your photo with people like this.

[59:11] Liz Esten: That's honestly adorable.

[59:13] Andrew DeWolf: Cheese fedora.

[59:14] Liz Esten: Yes, it is. My cheese fedora. They have not posted since 2022. But their last post says, don't forget to pick up some cheese curds, smoked pepperjack, cheddar or Monterey Jack for your New Year's party. Charlie will be manning the shop from 11 to 1 Saturday. The price of cheese curds is going up on September 1st. We have smoked pepperjack with two exclamation points. The cheese curds were always really good. But can you get rid of the mildew smell?

[59:47] Andrew DeWolf: Hold on. The cheese curds are always excellent. But can you do something about the mildew smell inside the plastic cheese curd bag? And it just looks like someone's house.

[59:58] Liz Esten: This is someone's garage.

[1:00:00] Andrew DeWolf: We are closing at 4 p.m. today. Wednesday's hours are 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. You have three hours to come get your cheese on a Wednesday.

[1:00:07] Liz Esten: And the top comment is, do you have cheese curds Friday?

[1:00:11] Andrew DeWolf: Yes.

[1:00:12] Liz Esten: Yes.

[1:00:14] Andrew DeWolf: Did you make meat and cheese trays?

[1:00:16] Liz Esten: PM me, please.

[1:00:18] Andrew DeWolf: This is a rabbit hole.

[1:00:19] Liz Esten: We didn't need to go down.

[1:00:20] Andrew DeWolf: We could go down.

[1:00:22] Liz Esten: What can I say except you're welcome?

[1:00:28] Andrew DeWolf: That was a lovely episode. Toriana, I hope you are happy with what you caused. This is all your fault. And if you would like to be involved in our next Patreon choice episode, you can join us over at Patreon where any patron can vote, but only the special patrons get to be picked.

[1:00:44] Liz Esten: Thank you guys for listening. Please follow us on iTunes and Spotify at TheCheeseWheelPodcast. If you wouldn't mind, if you if you wouldn't mind, could you, could you, if you don't have much, much on your plate, leave us a review like right now. It's right there at your fingertips anyways. You could just go down down to the Apple podcast thing and hit the review button. Give us a little five stars. Give us a little like y'all are doing great. Say that we're your favorite podcast that just happens to be about spinning a cheese wheel. There's many of them.

[1:01:12] Andrew DeWolf: Speaking of.

[1:01:14] Liz Esten: Yeah, we need to spin that wheel.

[1:01:15] Andrew DeWolf: You are 100% correct. To see what we're covering next week. It's time to spin the titular cheese wheel.

[1:01:24] Liz Esten: All right. Do we have any, any picks? Any, any, any, any predictions on what it could be?

[1:01:32] Andrew DeWolf: Maybe Shrek 2?

[1:01:33] Liz Esten: Maybe something more child friendly.

[1:01:35] Andrew DeWolf: Maybe Shrek the third?

[1:01:37] Liz Esten: Maybe Shrek 4?

[1:01:40] Andrew DeWolf: Maybe Shrek the halls?

[1:01:42] Liz Esten: No.

[1:01:44] Andrew DeWolf: Well, let's spin it and find out.

[1:02:02] Liz Esten: Oh, look at that.

[1:02:03] Andrew DeWolf: Spy Kids 2001.

[1:02:06] Liz Esten: Andrew, that's one of yours.

[1:02:08] Andrew DeWolf: You know, honestly, I don't know how I feel about this one. So it's going to be fun. And if you would like to see what we're doing next on the Patreon and whatever the shit, come join us over there. In the meantime, go follow us on all the socials. Our theme song was written by Andrew DeWolf, and he's doing a great job. He's also editing this show. Our Keeper of the Trees is Julian Antonio. Thank you to the Broadway podcast for having us on the platform and for not kicking us off for all the naughty, naughty stuff we do over here.

[1:02:38] Liz Esten: All right. Anything else we have left to say before we wrap it up?

[1:02:41] Andrew DeWolf: Something romantic.

[1:02:43] Liz Esten: Yeah.

[1:02:43] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah. Andrew, Jess, be romantic with each other.

[1:02:46] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, fuck.

[1:02:48] Liz Esten: Yeah, I don't want to be involved.

[1:02:49] Andrew DeWolf: I don't remember what he says.

[1:02:52] Liz Esten: Jess, you have this memorized.

[1:02:53] Andrew DeWolf: Yeah, I propose to Andrew right now.

[1:02:55] Liz Esten: He already did that at the beginning.

[1:02:57] Andrew DeWolf: There are few people whom I really love and still fewer whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it. And every day confirms my belief in the inconsistency of all human characters and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.

[1:03:13] Liz Esten: That's how I'm feeling right now.

[1:03:14] Andrew DeWolf: Oh, what a fucking sad boy. You know, he was thinking about that all week. He was writing every word in his head. He had that whole thing prepped. He was ready.