This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Leah Walsh: Hi, and welcome to The Compass, the podcast documenting the struggles of life as an artist.

[0:05] I'm Leah Walsh.

[0:06] Hi everyone.

[0:08] My guest today is Delavega.

[0:10] Delavega is a film, TV, commercial, and digital content director.

[0:14] We met about four years ago through some mutual friends, and I'm such a fan of his work.

[0:20] He's also a fellow artist parent.

[0:22] His first daughter is just a few months older than Cecilia, so we've been bonding over what that life is like.

[0:29] You can check out his feature film Bookends, now available streaming on Amazon Prime.

[0:34] The web series he co-directed with Pepper Binkley, who was my guest on episode 127 of The Compass, is on Vimeo.

[0:42] And you can see what else he's up to at delavega.squarespace.com.

[0:46] I hope you enjoy the hundred and fifty-ninth episode of The Compass.

[1:03] Leah Walsh: So I always start with the same question.

[1:06] And it's what do you do to keep yourself from going to the dark side as an artist?

[1:15] Delavega: It's a combination of things.

[1:18] So meditation for me is a big one.

[1:23] I've been meditating since I was like five or six.

[1:26] Oh my goodness.

[1:27] Yeah, my parents got into it.

[1:29] I think my dad got into it and then sort of shared it with everyone in the family.

[1:33] And so I've been doing some form of it since then.

[1:36] So I think that that really helped me whenever I get anxiety, you know, sort of get overwhelmed about something, which is for me is what my darkness is.

[1:46] Definitely getting wrapped in my brain and overthinking.

[1:50] Um so I think, you know, meditation, uh, hanging out with my family, right?

[1:56] My wife, I've got two daughters.

[1:58] Um, so hanging out with them, uh, just sort of playing, you know, focusing on them and not really work.

[2:04] Um, you know, and then also I think when it becomes, you know, darkness about art, right?

[2:14] And the creativity or sort of lack of or hitting a wall, uh I definitely speak to certain friends that I speak to about it, you know, friends that are in the industry that I reach out to.

[2:27] Uh, you know, some are mentors, some are fellow directors, and you know, they're all also friends, and so you know, I can talk personal stuff with them as well as uh industry stuff, and it's you know, this sort of great blend and able to give advice on everything.

[2:44] Those are the best, the best relationships to have.

[2:47] Leah Walsh: Definitely.

[2:48] So you mentioned anxiety, like when I say the dark side, is that mainly what comes up for you?

[2:53] Is it kind of like a lack of inspiration, or is it more can it be more about like the business commerce side of things, or what form does it usually take for you?

[3:03] Delavega: For me, it's it's more of you know, not wanting to do secret projects, right?

[3:11] That's that's uh like a term that my one of my good friends uses, right?

[3:15] I take, oh, I made a secret film.

[3:17] It's great, I love it, but like no one knows about it, right?

[3:21] Um I love that term, yeah.

[3:25] Um and you know, and some some things are great, I think, specifically, like if you if you go in with that being the intention, like this is just a practice, right?

[3:33] This is uh just me having fun.

[3:35] This is just me, you know, uh just sort of exercising my creativity.

[3:42] But when it is something that you've put money into, or you've put hundreds of hours into uh, you know, creating this thing, and then it just sort of sits in the void, I think that's where anxiety comes from.

[3:55] Uh, you know, and attaching uh fulfillment to that.

[4:01] Um I think is a big thing, and so realizing that I don't have to feel fulfilled from my art or from people seeing it or from people liking it.

[4:13] Um, you know, I can get it.

[4:15] Right, that's a tricky line, right?

[4:16] Between um desiring that so it's not a secret, like you said, and also not placing all your self-worth on it.

[4:24] Delavega: Totally.

[4:25] Absolutely.

[4:26] Um yeah, and I think since, you know, since this this new world that we're in, right, with with COVID-19, um, I've really, you know, my not that priorities have changed, but it's it's uh I'm not so focused on work because there's sort of a lack of it right now.

[4:47] Um, you know, and I'm and I'm limited to what I can create, uh, because I'm you know, I've got two babies and a wife that none of them are actors yet.

[4:56] Um and so uh, you know, shifting to being more of a stay-at-home dad and realizing like, oh, this is so much more fulfilling, even though it's just as exhausting, right?

[5:11] You know, I'm I'm putting in uh 16, 17 hour days.

[5:16] Um, but it's incredible, you know, it's so fun.

[5:21] Like right now, my oldest is two in a week and a half.

[5:26] Oh my gosh, so soon.

[5:27] Yeah.

[5:28] And every day it's just these new things.

[5:31] Like every parent says, right?

[5:32] But it's like every day is just these new things.

[5:34] Um like yesterday the big thing was she lied to us for the first time.

[5:39] Which was incredible.

[5:42] To see it happening.

[5:44] Totally.

[5:45] Um she she wanted a pacifier after breakfast and I told her like hey you know pacifiers are just for when your teeth are hurting and for when we're gonna take a nap.

[5:54] And like right now we're gonna go play for a while so you don't need it.

[5:57] And so she know she grumbled a bit and then sort of forgot.

[6:01] Uh and then half an hour later we're playing and she just starts crying out of nowhere.

[6:05] And I'm like what's wrong?

[6:06] And she starts pointing at her teeth and she goes teething teething you are not eating.

[6:13] You've got all your teeth right now but I was like that was just beautiful.

[6:21] Uh it was yeah so now we know she she lies she's manipulating that we're ready for it.

[6:27] Fascinating.

[6:28] Leah Walsh: Well I that was kind of what I wanted to ask next is just how are you guys doing with all of this right now?

[6:34] Delavega: Great we are uh incredibly fortunate.

[6:37] So we have some friends who live in Romania and they own a home in upstate New York.

[6:44] And as soon as actually we were supposed to be meeting them in Europe uh I think the week that they locked everything down.

[6:52] Oh my gosh.

[6:53] Um and so they were like look like we're not able to go home.

[6:57] Uh you guys can't leave so like you we've got our home if you guys want to go up and use it.

[7:02] So we've been here for three months now.

[7:05] The whole time.

[7:06] Wow.

[7:07] The entire time, yeah, yeah.

[7:08] Oh my gosh, with two kids, that must be so much easier than in the city.

[7:11] Delavega: It's yeah, it's incredible because we went for the city.

[7:13] Even if it's not your space.

[7:15] 100%.

[7:16] Um but I I sort of we they gave us that idea with enough time that I was able to do like three car trips out here with stuff.

[7:24] So it definitely is starting to feel like homework.

[7:27] Yeah, at least from the beginning was even feeling like home because we were able to bring so much here.

[7:31] Um and it's in the middle of nowhere, it's surrounded by surrounded by forests and farms.

[7:35] And so we go on hikes every day.

[7:37] Oh my gosh.

[7:38] Yeah, it's it's been uh an incredible gift that they've given us.

[7:42] And remind me what your wife does.

[7:43] Delavega: She's a psychologist.

[7:45] Okay, yeah, she works at a college.

[7:48] But she's able to work virtually.

[7:50] So she was on maternity leave up until uh I think a month ago.

[7:56] Um so we have a seven month old or seven months uh today.

[8:02] Um and uh and so yeah, so she had six months maternity leave, and so that first bit we were just here, you know, sort of trying to to get used to this new world and uh, you know, hiking a lot and playing.

[8:15] Um but yeah, now she works from home, which is great.

[8:18] Um and she works she has a private practice and she also has uh a job running or helping run an anxiety clinic for adolescents.

[8:28] Wow.

[8:28] This must be a crazy time for her work then as well.

[8:33] Delavega: Definitely, yeah.

[8:34] She she thought that there would be a you know, a bit of a shift, um, where maybe people wouldn't want to work as much or do therapy as much.

[8:44] Um, you know, with the private practice just because they'd want to, you know, save save money or whatever it is, or just not able to sort of find the time or place uh and doing it, but the people really did uh adapt quickly to teletherapy and have appreciated it, like have have found this sort of as their refuge.

[9:02] Um it's been great for her.

[9:04] Yeah.

[9:05] Um so you're a filmmaker.

[9:08] How do you guys navigate your relationship um as an artist and a non-artist?

[9:14] I'm kind of in the opposite situation being married to another actor.

[9:17] I'm so curious.

[9:18] Delavega: Um, it's uh it's interesting.

[9:22] You know, I'll show her projects sometimes and uh, you know, it'll be like, oh yeah, I like it, but it's like not giving me the creative advice that that I'll seek from it.

[9:36] Um but she's also able to, and maybe this is just her, maybe this is just sort of coming from her profession, but really, you know, able to calm me or calm me out on, you know, on any sort of nonsense that I'm sort of wrapped up in.

[9:52] Um, you know, sometimes I think there's there's definitely difficulty if you know, having like I said, like 16 hour days uh on set, right?

[10:01] Or or going away, you know, on location where, you know, I'm not home and it's you know, and and everyone who who's been on set, especially you know, being away on set, it feels like camp.

[10:15] So you're you've become friends with these people, and so it's like not just working, uh, but then after you're also, you know, doing what I call also work is like you're getting together at the bar and you're hanging out and you're talking, right?

[10:26] Because these are the people that are gonna give you work uh next time.

[10:29] So you want to make sure that you're hanging out with the producers, you want to make sure that you're hanging out, you know, with the actors or whoever else.

[10:35] Um, but it's hard to see that from the other end, you know, definitely from her perspective, where it's like, hey, like I'd like to FaceTime with you too.

[10:42] I'd like to, you know, chat and hang out.

[10:44] Um, and I've been lucky enough where since uh our babies had been born, we I haven't had that much uh uh you know, any projects away.

[10:56] They've mainly been in New York City or sort of the surrounding area.

[11:00] That helps a lot, yeah.

[11:02] Um so your film Bookends is on Amazon now.

[11:07] Delavega: Mm-hmm.

[11:07] So lovely.

[11:08] And I had watched it uh a year or two ago when you had sent it to me, but I rewatched it um this morning.

[11:14] I have to say it was a dark film to watch in the morning.

[11:18] Yeah, that's heavy.

[11:20] Uh can you tell me a little bit about like where you are in the journey with that film?

[11:24] Because something that I'm, you know, I'm not a filmmaker, but it seems like it requires a lot of stamina.

[11:31] Like it's a long, it's a long game, right?

[11:33] Delavega: Definitely.

[11:34] And where where are you in the experience with this particular film?

[11:38] Yeah, so you know, near near the end, right?

[11:42] So this for me, uh this, like we were saying, like talking about secret projects, right?

[11:48] Like this uh was a bit of a secret film where I was in, you know, I was living in Los Angeles for six years, um, and I'd worked uh as a producer for commercials for two years, um, and then you know, did well in that, was happy with that, but wasn't wasn't feeling that fulfillment uh creatively, and so you know, talking it over with my wife, we decided, all right, you know, we'll stop uh producing and focus more of like being on set.

[12:17] So I was doing more of A Ding and directing and sort of balancing that life.

[12:21] Um, and it was definitely more A Ding than directing at that point.

[12:25] And then we fast forward six years, we decided that we're gonna be moving to New York City.

[12:31] And I had a bit of uh a little mental breakdown being like I've been in LA for six years, and I came here with the intention of making a film.

[12:39] Uh with making a feature film and being a feature film director and sort of you know, holding all that uh stress over my head, and I haven't done it.

[12:47] Um, and so uh the lead actress uh in this film, Kat Espaille, her and I had been sort of over the year, uh that last year in LA, just sort of working ideas in like what we what could we film?

[13:00] Like either shorts or features, but trying to just workshop ideas together.

[13:04] And when we decided we were gonna move that night, I just put pen to paper and I wrote uh I think like a 20 something page treatment uh for Bookends, and I had the idea of doing a Duplass Brothers uh type film, you know, Joe Swanberg type film, where so everything was based on a treatment.

[13:24] But the actors and I would sort of workshop it and we would work on the dialogue or sort of improv the dialogue as we were filming.

[13:30] And so we're doing one night, sent it to four actors, and I said, like, look, I'm filming this in my home uh in seven weeks, and so I want to do six weeks of pre-production where we're just you know, we can meet twice a week and we can workshop this and any questions, we can chat, you know, phone or whatever.

[13:48] But on the seventh week, I just need a commitment from you for Monday through Friday, five days, seven to seven.

[13:54] Delavega: Like I have my home from when my wife leaves to work and from when she comes back in. Uh, but as soon as she comes in, we're wrapped, so we've got, you know, 10 to 12 hours a day. And uh they were super excited. They read it, they were excited, and they're like, "Great, we're in, let's do it." It's kind of amazing what that self-imposed deadline can do, you know. 100% like that. Why didn't I do this before? Um, so we filmed it, uh it was a wonderful experience. It felt very much like, uh, like theater. Um, I had one of the actors living with me, um, at the time and it just, yeah, it felt, it was great. It was so wonderful. Um, but then I edited it myself. I got paid everything, uh, with, you know, with some savings that I had, uh, so it was completely self-financed.

Um, you know, but I used the majority of the money for production and so, uh, I spent the next year and a half or so editing the film, uh, on my free time and then sent it out to festivals and, you know, did that. Um, you know, it did well more in fringe festivals but sort of, you know, won some awards, uh, all over, uh, you know, sort of different places all over the world and then it just sort of sat, right? And then became, it became the secret film, uh, in the sense that like the world wasn't seeing it, right? People that I knew would see it and it was actually helping me get work. Uh, I was definitely, people knew that I directed a feature, right? And so that sort of, that held some sort of status.

So when I did move to New York, it became a lot easier for me to get work, um, because people sort of had that trust and then they also love the story of like, "Oh, you did this thing and like you, you know, produced it in six weeks and you filmed it in a week. Like tell me that story," and they'd get excited like, "Oh, you know, I'd love to bring that same energy to my project." Um, so it did lead to a lot of work.

[15:47] Delavega: Uh, and then, you know, babies come and it gets so busy that I, you know, I couldn't, uh, you know, work on getting it out there. And then finally when this happened, it was a time where like, okay, I can't work. Um, and my wife, since she was still on maternity leave, I was like, "Look, if you can give me a few days so that you can just be with the kids and I can work on getting this online." Um, then I got it on Amazon and then have been doing word of mouth, emailing people, you know, slowly every day and just getting it out there. And now it's, you know, it's not become a secret film. I looked, I looked at it last night at the analytics, and eleven thousand people have seen it, which is wonderful.

[16:25] Leah Walsh: Oh my gosh.

[16:27] Delavega: Yeah.

[16:27] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[16:28] Delavega: That's pretty amazing.

[16:29] Leah Walsh: Espe, yeah, especially right now when everybody is, um, like streaming is the thing that people have, the thing that they're doing. So that's great that they're finding it just on their own.

[16:39] Delavega: Totally. Yeah, I, I was actually, I was watching, uh, The Descendants the other night, and when it finished, my film popped up as the "Oh, you should watch this next." It's an interesting connection. But I, I mean, I know it's a coincidence and that you've had this around, but it's also interesting that the film takes place during a hurricane. Mm-hmm. And it's only over the course of a night, but it has this sense of being people being shut inside and not being able to go anywhere. And so I think it's kind of wonderful timing in a way.

[17:11] Leah Walsh: Totally.

[17:11] Delavega: And, and having to deal with your relationships.

[17:13] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[17:14] Delavega: Right. You know, there's, it's definitely been, uh, I'm, you know, as for many, right, prefer, you know, just speaking for myself, like the first, I'd say two months of lockdown were super difficult because we were around each other all the time. And there was the stress of like what's happening in the world, right? Not just what's happening in the world, but then throw in this, this pandemic, right? Because we're already to stuff about what's happening in the world, right? But then you grow in this pandemic. And, uh, yeah, it, you know, this was a lot of stress. So it was definitely a lot of fighting and just sort of getting used to and like having to finally sit back and be like, "All right, we, we need to, uh, we need to figure out why we're fighting so much."

[17:55] Leah Walsh: Yes.

[17:56] Delavega: And that's like, let's do like a reset, let's do a hard reset. Um, and I think that's, that's sort of what, you know, some of what happens in the film, uh, where they are locked down and they're having to deal with their emotions or having to deal with the relationship and, uh, decisions that they've made that have now altered, uh, their relationship.

[18:14] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[18:15] Delavega: Yeah, even just how not to annoy each other has been an interesting task in this pandemic.

[18:22] Leah Walsh: We've definitely had to have some conversations about like, okay, we're around each other. We love spending time together, and we're around each other even more than we like to be around each other right now. How do we not step on each other's toes?

[18:32] Delavega: Yeah, you usually get a six to eight hour break a day. So that when you get to the weekend, you're like, "I get to spend time with this person." How do you handle the hustle of being a filmmaker? Because it sounds like in your path, obviously you don't get to always be directing feature films. You have to wear a lot of different hats. Do you enjoy that? Or is it something that, um, you kind of see a ladder you're climbing and you know it's gonna pass, or how do you deal with that part of it?

[19:03] Delavega: I think it's a mix, you know, there's definitely aspects, uh, that I don't enjoy, which are the, you know, in the industry always trying to get to that next rung, right? Um, you know, so there's like the excitement of like, "Oh, I've reached this level," but then like I'm still not that level, right? It reminds me of a story of a gaffer friend of mine who was working with Tim Robbins on a film the day after Shawshank won at the Oscars. And he said that he overheard a conversation with Tim Robbins yelling at his agent or manager, uh, trying to get in the room so that he can audition for a part. And he was just like, "This is crazy. This never ends." This guy was just at the Oscars for the best film of the year. And he's still fighting to get in a room. Like, how is this possible? And he was like, "I'm so happy I'm a gaffer."

[19:56] Leah Walsh: Like that's cruel.

[20:00] Delavega: I don't have to do it.

[20:01] Leah Walsh: I know some stories like that too.

[20:02] Delavega: Wow.

[20:03] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[20:03] Delavega: Um, and so, you know, there's that aspect of it, which can be, uh, incredibly frustrating. Um, but I enjoy, I feel like I'm a people person, so I enjoy talking to people. I enjoy, you know, uh, connecting them with, it's like, you know, let's go to X Place and just like get some coffee or a drink and like let's talk a project. I enjoy that, and I get ex, I'm, I think I have the, uh, the not so great sort of part of me that I get excited too early about an idea. I'm like, "Yeah, this is like, this is a great idea, and I've met with this person and they're really excited about it, and like we're gonna go make a movie." It's definitely happening.

[20:49] Delavega: Yeah, it's definitely happening. And I've, you know, I've been in the industry forever. I've worked on thousands of projects, uh, not thousands, hundreds of projects, right? At this point, um, and so I know the story, I know how it goes, but I still get excited. So, and that excitement is probably what keeps me going every time because I love making movies. Um, you know, I love being on set, I love working with actors, I love figuring out story, I love, uh, being on set and being told we don't have this location, uh, so what do you want to do and then problem solving that and figuring it out and still making it work, you know, sitting down with the writer or whoever and still making it work.

Um, you know, so I think it's just like the maybe the excited little kid in me, right, that just like wants to keep creating art and like the excitement of like creating this, you know, and thinking back of the movies that I love and how they made it and reading stories about how, you know, these directors made their first films and how they were in this, you know, everyone was sort of once in this situation. I think that that's what keeps me going.

[21:59] Leah Walsh: Yeah. Can we talk a little bit about how kind of the quilts of how you put it all together financially? I know you said you were directing a lot of commercials along the way. Have you kind of been able to support yourself with that or have you been doing side jobs as well?

[22:15] Delavega: So the, I would say the directing has always been because I'll do, I'll do some commercial directing as well and I'd say that's, it's maybe like 30/70 at this point and the 70 being assistant directing, um, or producing. Um, and so that is my bread and butter.

[22:35] Leah Walsh: Gotcha.

[22:36] Delavega: So that's features, that's commercials, that's fashion, that's, um, you know, industrials, it's tabletop videos, it's, uh, whatever, whatever they need, um, I'd sort of jump in and I've been lucky enough where, uh, you know, I'm at the point where I'm turning down, I'm turning down jobs.

[22:57] Leah Walsh: And I've, does a lot of it just come from word of mouth and people that you've met, or do you have any like resources that you use to help you find stuff?

[23:06] Delavega: So definitely, uh, so definitely word of mouth, right? So, you know, even though I still subscribe to, you know, Mandy and all these other, you know, job hunting websites for the industry, I don't think I ever really get work from them. But, uh, the majority of my, I think maybe when it, when I first moved to New York since I was, even though I had, uh, a great resume, I was still sort of starting in this new city. But right now it comes from word of mouth. So just, you know, there's a few different producers, uh, that I love working with and that seem to love working with me. And so they'll call me for projects. And when I, if I'm already working on something, what I've figured out, what I figured out was, uh, I've created a pool of assistant directors around me.

So if I can't take a job, I'm like, "These are five other great ADs that I think will make you super happy." And so then those producers feel comfortable, uh, with me, with my recommendation, and then they work with one of these ADs and they're very happy. And either they, you know, continue working with me because, uh, because they're so, you know, because they still love me and, uh, they're happy with my recommendations, or they move on to that person. But those, those other ADs as well constantly send me work where they're like, "Look, I'm already working on this feature, but I've got this other feature that's with Susan Sarandon." Right. And so it's, uh, and I always thought maybe it would be more of a we're fighting for the same job, but I feel like I sort of got to a certain level with it where we've realized there's enough work and it's just finding the right people to hand it off to.

And then they're, since they're working, you know, and if they're jumping on a feature, they're gonna be busy for the next two months. So any jobs that come to them in those two months, they're gonna be happy to send my way.

[24:56] Leah Walsh: Right. So it's kind of an informal collective you guys have going on.

[25:00] Delavega: Totally. And I don't think any of them know each other. Um, but you know, it's sort of the spider web for me, and I, you know, they brought back my way.

[25:07] Leah Walsh: That's awesome.

[25:08] Delavega: Yeah. Um, what does your family think of you being an artist for your career?

[25:14] Delavega: Um, they love it. They, I come from an incredibly supportive family. Um, like two.

[25:21] Leah Walsh: And you grew up in Miami, right?

[25:22] Delavega: Yes, in Miami.

[25:24] Leah Walsh: Yeah, yeah.

[25:24] Delavega: Uh, Cuban American, my parents Cuban, they came here, uh, in the early 50s to the States, uh, mid-50s, and I was born, uh, in Miami in the 80s. And, uh, yeah, they're super supportive. Um, and I, they're all artists in, in their own right. So my mom's a singer, um, and like never like professionally, or like as a profession, um, but she's recorded an album, you know, she loves singing at home, yeah. So, uh, so she's an artist that way. My dad, I always say he's an artist. So my dad is a translator, interpreter, and his art form is, you know, is taking language and, and, and putting it so that the world can understand, right? So he's, he's been the voice of the last, I think, eight presidents.

[26:18] Leah Walsh: Oh my god.

[26:19] Delavega: In the last 40 years. So if you, you know, if one of the presidents is speaking and he, you know, you log on to Univision or Telemundo, you'll hear his voice, uh, as the president.

[26:30] Leah Walsh: Wow.

[26:31] Delavega: And yeah, and so he's done, you know, he's been doing, uh, yeah, that his since he graduated. I think he went to college for it and just been doing it forever. Another one of my brothers got two brothers, one is a musician, um, and has been in multiple bands, and now, uh, doesn't do that professionally, but is still, you know, constantly writing music, sending me songs to listen to. Uh, actually his band is the band that does the soundtrack for my film.

[26:55] Leah Walsh: Oh wonderful.

[26:56] Delavega: Um, yeah, so it was great. It was, it was really nice to work together in that. Um, and my other brother, he worked in the industry for a while, and he's more, I'd say of a producer, and of like a, as a creative producer, and so he worked on the film industry and then transferred over to video games and did that for a while. Um, and then has come home and is now working with my parents' company and helping run the company.

[27:20] Leah Walsh: That's so great that everyone at least is like on the same vibe and can appreciate each other's work.

[27:25] Delavega: Yeah, and, and you know, it's great. I can, uh, I'll send them all, you know, I'm always sending them my work, like, you know, when it's a work in progress and they always love it, even though I know it's not great. Uh, went at the work in project for like, "Oh, this is so awesome. Like, I can't wait to see it finish," and they'll, you know, go watch the, the eleven different versions of whatever I'm getting them. Uh, you know, and, and my brothers will give notes.

[27:48] Delavega: My parents, I could do whatever they would love. Um they're not they're not great for notes. Um, so I think we first met when Frankie was working with you and Pepper on It's Freezing Out There.

[28:05] Leah Walsh: No, we met. Did we meet before that? When did we meet?

[28:09] Delavega: Um, so uh I did a reading for a film. Um this was soon after I moved to New York. And this was so it was right around the election. It was literally we did the reading, I think two days after Trump won. And this was a film about uh about rape culture in Hollywood. And does not have a happy ending. Basically, the bad guy gets away with it. Um, but it's a film that showed uh how it is that that rapists and these monsters get away with this for years for decades. Um I didn't realize it, you know, it's like I'd scheduled this and wasn't expecting uh uh Trump to win the presidency until we did this reading and everyone was just so mentally from it.

[29:03] Leah Walsh: Um do you remember that?

[29:07] Delavega: Yeah, because I because I I met I had heard about you and I tried I invited you to come. And Frankie and I came. Yeah, and I remember like asking you like, hey, so like you know, and can I get some notes in your like I'm embarrassed that I care about in front of my mind, but still but then we didn't we didn't see each other for a very long time until that project was.

[29:30] Leah Walsh: Oh my gosh.

[29:31] Delavega: I think I've kind of erased that entire month out of my mind. Did it happen? Is it still happening?

[29:38] Leah Walsh: Yeah, yeah. Like I said, there's a lot going on in the world.

[29:42] Delavega: Well, we re met. We reconnected when um when you guys were doing It's Freezing Out There.

[29:49] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[29:50] Delavega: And then you and Pepper also did a short film that you sent me called Hey Mama.

[29:54] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[29:55] Delavega: More recently, that was after.

[29:57] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[29:57] Delavega: After It's Freezing Out There. Uh yeah, that was a few months ago.

[30:00] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[30:02] Delavega: Tell me a little bit about your collaboration. It seems like you guys work really well together, and you have this interesting um, I kind of love that the projects you've been working on are kind of parent focused.

[30:12] Delavega: Mm-hmm. Yeah. So uh It's Freezing Out There came about from Pepper, I think doing a workshop for It's Freezing Out There. Um or like a reading for it. And she wanted to team up with someone or was considering teaming up with someone because she was considering playing the lead. And someone there, actually, I think Sessie, Sessi Fernandez, recommended me. Uh, and she was looking for a woman to team up with, but she was like, look, it's a man, but this man is as close to being a woman as he can be. He's very, very sensitive. Uh so you know, give him a chance. And so we met and she saw BookendS, um, and she was like, this is totally the kind of thing, like that was one of those projects where she's like, this is absolutely how I want to make this film. A lot of people have.

[31:06] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[31:07] Delavega: Um, and so, yeah, so we started working on it together, and it's been this uh incredible relationship. It's wonderful. We've become really good friends. We've traveled the world together with our families. I mean, it's been wonderful. Uh I miss her so much. She's now with her family in Washington, and we, you know, we text and talk often. But uh, but yeah, our families have have become really close. Um, and she's got two kids that are a little bit older than mine. And so yeah, so she was doing this this project about uh egg freezing, uh, and it was based a bit off of her experience. Um and so yeah, so we you know, we we filmed it, I think over a week it was sort of the same idea where we worked with our actors for a little bit and then filmed it over two weeks.

[31:55] Delavega: Um you know, one of the things that I always say, like people ask me, like, oh, which which do you like better, LA or New York? And for me, it really is uh an experiencing both it's really become New York, and it's because I feel like the filmmakers here uh really are more like artists, where it's not about, you know, it isn't always about the uh well what what's this project gonna bring me, right? Or like how much money is this gonna pay? Like if it doesn't, if it doesn't hit like my my minimum, then like I'm not gonna do it. But the I feel like uh people in New York are just excited about creating something cool. And if they come across something cool, they're more than willing to jump on board and be a part of it.

[32:43] Delavega: And so with It's Freezing Out There uh between the two of us, we were able to pull a lot of actors who read it and were really excited about actors, like you know, Frankie being one of them, and we're really excited about it. And there are some actors that were like on these Tony Award-winning uh Broadway shows who would come and play with us for you know five hours. And like, all right, hey, I've got another hour left, because I gotta get on the train and and you know, and get to midtown because I'm gonna be on stage. And to me, it was it was uh it was just such a beautiful experience to be like I'm working with these wonderful people who are just like having a good time.

[33:22] Delavega: Um and so yeah, so we filmed this 12-episode web series and we did the festival circuit with it. Um it got written up in a bunch of places, got written up in The Week. Um Lena Dunham's company uh tweeted about it, saying like this is a show that you know everyone should be seeing right now. And so yeah, it got some great press. Um, and we I think fell in love with working with each other. Um we just had this, we have this great collaboration, and so we came up with uh an idea for a film, and we decided to make uh a short version of it, which was Hey Mama.

[34:00] Leah Walsh: Oh, okay.

[34:01] Delavega: Um, and so Hey Mama is a it's a film about a pregnant woman's last days before uh being induced. Um where she's she's told by her doctors that if if you don't go into labor naturally, we're gonna have to induce you. And she's you know, two weeks overdue, and she is you know, not she's she's too much in her head about it. Um and so, you know, what's it's spending the last days, and so what we wanted to do as an exercise with this short was actually work with a pregnant actress because we've got a bigger, bigger uh picture uh film that we've written and that we're you know, sort of rewriting now, which is a bit of uh a Boyhood type film, but it's about motherhood, and it's about a woman who finds out she's pregnant and wasn't necessarily trying to get pregnant, um, and then going through that entire experience, going through those 10 months of pregnancy.

[34:56] Delavega: And the idea is that we would actually work with a pregnant actress, and we'd go from, you know, once they found out, right, you know, that they're two or three months pregnant, uh, we'd sort of do those first three months uh of the film, and then every month we'd get together, you know, for four to five days and film that next segment of the film. And you know, in the end, uh actually film the pregnancy.

[35:22] Leah Walsh: And that way, you know, one this this uh You mean like film the birth at the end? Is that what you meant?

[35:30] Delavega: Yeah, I mean sorry, film the birth, yeah. So in the end we would film uh not a pregnancy, we would film the birth. Already filming the pregnancy.

[35:37] Leah Walsh: Yeah, so you know, so the idea is like we're going from conception to uh to birth and you're seeing the change that that a woman goes through, right? Where it's like that internal change, the external change, uh the way that the world sees her, the way that she sees the world.

[35:53] Delavega: Um and so we did uh Hey Mama with Lindsay Broad, and she was nine and a half months pregnant, and I think she went into labor the week after we filmed.

[36:04] Leah Walsh: Oh my gosh.

[36:05] Delavega: Yeah, and it was incredible. I mean, and it was and it was such a learning experience being like, okay, we can't push our actress stairs again.

[36:15] Leah Walsh: Totally.

[36:15] Delavega: Like we've got a limited amount of takes uh for her climbing stairs. And that was a that was a fear of mine where I was like, you know, in this film she's doing all these things to go into labor, and we're having her do all these things going to labor. Uh but thank God she didn't.

[36:32] Leah Walsh: I loved it so much because I will say that was my experience with our baby is I was two weeks overdue and had to be induced, and I was remembering those last couple days where I was like walking in 90 degree heat for three miles and just like trying to make something happen. I loved it.

[36:46] Delavega: But I love that that larger idea, it's kind of um like Boyhood-esque in a more of a 10 month time period.

[36:54] Leah Walsh: Mm-hmm.

[36:54] Delavega: Yeah, and I think, you know, it's you know, I my my films have always been influenced by what's going on in my life. Right. So so for BookendS, um my wife and I had a party in our house in LA, and you know, everyone was like hanging out, drinking, and sort of, you know, as the nights ending, you know, friends are leaving, and you know, by the end of the night, it was us and another couple that were there hanging out. And you know, I was talking to my friend's wife, my friend was talking to my wife, and like everyone was just like having a good time and like people were drunk, and it was like very loose.

[37:36] Delavega: And I had the thought of like, man, the energy in this room could totally go in a completely different direction. Uh and it was like, what would happen if like if that if that happened? Um and that's you know, that's what sparked the idea for BookendS, right? And you know, while we were filming uh It's Freezing Out There, I think by the end of it there was eight babies that came from it. It was either like we were working pregnant actresses or uh or people uh conceived babies um while we were shooting, you know, and nine months later there was a baby, which was my my story because we did a uh we did a QA with a doctor uh because we worked with uh with a clinic, um and one of you know in working with them, one of the things that we did was uh had one of your their doctors come and actually do a talk with me through our character in it and we filmed it and he was saying, you know, talking about how after 35 the you know the the amount that the eggs you know start dropping, um and he freaked me out and like when we finished filming he's like yeah if anyone like have any questions and I was just like I don't have a question but I just gotta say like you're freaking me out like I feel like I need to go home and impregnate my wife tonight and he was like well how old is she uh you know I told him he was he was like yeah well yeah you should and literally like three days later she went um and so yeah you know and I've definitely been affected by fatherhood and like the stress you know that was coming like as you know this baby's coming and your role's gonna change and everyone's telling you that your world's gonna change but uh you don't know how it's gonna change and they tell you you're not gonna know how it's gonna change but it's gonna change um and I think that was part of Hey Mama where you're so wrapped in your head because you're excited about this baby coming but you're also so scared um because you don't know you know it's the fear of the unknown right which I think is is a lot of my anxiety comes from is fear of unknown um yeah it totally worked into you know I think I think these beautiful projects I love it are there any lessons you've learned in the last couple years um as an artist or as a parent that you're really proud of that you want to share with me could be something small let me think yeah I think you know maybe it's it's uh sort of piggybacking to to what I was saying before, but not being not letting my career be the only thing that fulfills me uh and not putting so much into it um and realizing that it won't always fulfill me.

[40:35] Delavega: And and with you know with our industry, like there definitely is ageism, right? And there's gonna be, you know, at one at at certain point where I'm just gonna be too old. You know, too old to be like the young, the young cool guy with his ideas coming in. And you know, and just getting that I really I get that from having you know my my wife and my daughters. You know, and I get that fulfillment from from being a stay at home dad with them right now, right? And teaching them.

[41:11] Delavega: Yeah, so I think the lesson for me is not is not putting not putting your happiness you know solely on your art. Because I think it's a trap. You know, especially right now where it's like we don't know the state of our industry. You know and being an independent filmmaker, like I don't know how this is really gonna affect you know I can I can think about it, you know, and I can sort of talk to friends about what they think's gonna happen, but we still don't know uh how it's gonna change everything.

[41:48] Delavega: You know, indie filmmaking has already been cut off so much since the late 90s that right now it's like, I feel like maybe it's—and maybe it's silly, you know, thinking this way—but it's like teetering, like is it, you know, gonna be like the nail in the coffin? Um, you know, or not. And I think there'll always be indie films, but the ability to make those films and have people actually really see them, I don't know.

[42:08] Leah Walsh: Right.

[42:20] Delavega: I mean, I think this is me looking from the outside, but I think you've been so smart being involved in so many different ways of presenting work, from like working with the Insta mini series format or like what it's phrasing out there was put out on Vimeo. There's so many different platforms now. I think you've been really kind of smart in diversifying the things you have to show.

[42:46] Delavega: Yeah, I mean I've been lucky where it's working with others. Um, right, which is one of the things that I love about filmmaking is that collaboration. Uh, you know, so it's not always, you know, it's not always my idea, right? So like the Instant Mini series, that was something that I was just brought on to. Um, and I was lucky enough where when I moved to, you know, moved to New York, uh, you know, Nikki Borgia's, um, you know, had just finished doing season one and they were about to do—or maybe they'd done two seasons and they were about to start doing a third, and you know, and I had producing experience, AD experience, and so they asked me to jump on board and produce, you know, this project.

And the third season ended up being creating the last project that David Bowie did. Um, so, you know, just, you know, literally two weeks after moving here, I had this incredible experience. Um, that, uh, yeah, that was beautiful. And it was on Instagram. Um, and it was, you know, and it would just, it had just really people had just started, um, you know, putting projects on Instagram. It's—that's the thing, it's like, you know, when I was saying before, it's like I don't know if it'll ever really die, but it is scary to sort of think where we're at right now and where financing is gonna come from for these smaller films because people are, people are, um, being a bit tighter right now, you know, and aren't making money.

And that's—that's a scary thing about right now. It's that I know so many people that are struggling because they don't have work, right? And so many people that had restaurant jobs that, you know, haven't been working. That's terrifying.

[44:22] Leah Walsh: Yeah, it really is.

[44:23] Delavega: Yeah, that's I think that's the scariest thing for me is just knowing, uh, all the people that are suffering financially and the stress that that brings because I've been there too.

[44:33] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[44:35] Delavega: Um, I know you're extremely busy right now in this time period with your kids and everything, but have you been feeling inspired to write or anything around the fringes, or has it just been too much to handle?

[44:48] Delavega: No, definitely. There's—there's, uh, there's writers that I'm constantly working with. Um, where, you know, one of my mentors, uh, you know, is this friend of mine, Christopher Pratt. He is this incredible, incredible, incredible writer. And he decided, let's see, maybe this was five years ago. Yeah, it was right around when I moved here. He decided that he was gonna become a writer. He was a manager before he managed, uh, writers himself and directors, and decided that he wanted to write and he's written I think sixty scripts in sixty months.

[45:29] Leah Walsh: Oh my gosh.

[45:30] Delavega: Yeah, he moved to the woods and, you know, cut his, uh, you know, cut his rent from, you know, what he was, you know, paying in LA, uh, living in the hills, and like, you know, decided to move to the woods with his family and really focus on writing, and so he's constantly sending me stuff, right? Or, you know, we'll constantly talk about ideas. Um, so there's a few scripts that we're working on and, uh, I've got a friend of mine who's a producer, uh, here in the States, but he's, he's Spanish and so he does a lot of work in Spain as well, and so we've been talking a few ideas about what we can go and shoot in Spain right now because they just gave in some incredible incentives where I think in the end it'll be as if you spent 15% of what it would actually cost you to make your film.

[46:20] Leah Walsh: Oh my gosh.

[46:21] Delavega: Yeah.

[46:23] Leah Walsh: Well that I was thinking that as you were talking about the scripts. Like, are you, um, approaching them as you normally would, or are you taking into consideration like how could we make this so that we can film it easily in whatever this mid or post-pandemic world is?

[46:41] Delavega: Totally. Um, yeah, I'm definitely considering that. And I—that's—that's what I do for all my projects, right? So with BookendS, it was what do I have? I have a house that I live in, and I've got actors, you know, uh, accessible to me. So that's what we did. Uh, you know, with a treezing out there, we filmed in all locations that we owned or that we could borrow from people. Um, and so with this it's the same thing, right? So this producer, uh, you know, he's done some projects in the Canary Islands. Um, and so he's sent me like this, these are the locations, right? They've got, you know, their own location film board, um, uh, for the Canary Islands. Like these are all our locations. So this is what we have access to. What scripts can you bring me that fit within this? Um, because I want to make something with you, uh, and this is how I can make it.

[47:29] Leah Walsh: Interesting.

[47:30] Delavega: So now, yeah, and so now it's considering everything that would work within there. And even so now I'm, you know, I'm talking to the writer that I mentioned and going back to his scripts and be like what scripts do we have that fit in here? So it's not that we have to actually write something, but we can just see something that already sort of fits in that peg and hand it off and then maybe we make that.

[47:53] Leah Walsh: Right.

[47:53] Delavega: Yeah, these last two little questions are just when you do feel yourself going to that dark place or that uninspired place, like are there any tangible things that you reach for again and again, like a book or that you go back to again and again or music or a place that you go, something like that?

[48:11] Delavega: Yeah, so definitely not music because I really like becoming depressed with music. I'm all about the sad music; like I will just sit in a room and cry listening to music, but not because I'm sad from like the first thing that was stressing me, but the singer's voice is just like destroying me. So not music, but yeah, things—things like I definitely will, will, um, will be proactive about meditating, uh, for sure.

[48:44] Leah Walsh: Do you have any—have you come across anything? I know you started so young, but have you had friends who started meditating later in life, like any resources that they've used to do that or just tell them to be quiet and sit down and just go for it?

[49:01] Delavega: There's a bunch of apps, right? So there's, um, you know, there's a few different apps, right? So like I practice mainly, uh, TM, which is, which is, uh, transcendental meditation, so I've got this word that I repeat, you know, sort of my mantra that I just sort of repeat in my head, uh, and I focus on that which helps me sort of lose focus on everything else. Um, but so there's some apps that will automatically give you that; they'll say like this is your word, just sort of repeat this, you know, repeat this humming sort of word in your head and you can do, you know, 10, 20 minutes of that. I think, uh, Russell Simmons has an app, um, that I use for that sometimes. Uh, there's another one called Budify, which is more of, uh, like mindfulness meditation where the person—there's a person speaking and they're walking you through the meditation and they'll give you different topics like if you're having flight anxiety, right?

Like getting on a plane and traveling, which is some of my anxiety, so you know, sometimes listen to that or things about work or family, different kinds of stressors. Um, let's see, and there's a few books that, uh, I read. So there's an essay that I read when I was 17 that really changed my life, uh, and just sort of my outlook on life, and it's called The Iron and it's about Henry Rollins, or it's by Henry Rollins, and it's about how he got into, uh, working out, just sort of his—how his mindset changed from it. But one of the things that he talks about is, you know, he used to be this very, uh, depressed kid and this very, um, just sort of sad and weak-minded kid, but when he started working out, he realized that he had all this power in him; he just didn't know how to harness it.

And so he says if, you know, if you're feeling depressed and you—there you've got this negative energy, instead of doing something negative with it, like, uh, you know, popping pills or, you know, or drinking too much, uh, why not channel that energy into something positive like working out, right? So it's like, you know, so I use that to remind myself, so if I'm feeling in a negative place, we'll go outside and go for a walk, right? Or go for a jog, go for a hike, sit and meditate, you know, do some push-ups, whatever it is, uh, but do something active with that energy and take it to a positive place.

[51:23] Leah Walsh: Right.

[51:24] Delavega: Uh, I think the other one is a book called The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, uh, by Dan Milman. And it's sort of a similar story, but it's a, uh, based on a true story where it's this college gymnast who is this, you know, Olympic athlete and he ends up breaking his leg in a motorcycle accident, and it's all about how he recovers from that, uh, mentally and physically by working with this gas station attendant who sort of ends up becoming his, like, guru mentor. Uh, you know, it takes place I think in like 1967, so it's definitely like a new age sort of hippie-ish. Uh, but I've read it like seven times; like whenever I feel like I'm going to a dark place, I reread it. It's a, it's a quick read and I've recommended it to people, uh, and they've told me that they loved it, so great.

[52:09] Leah Walsh: We'll have to look this up. Um, and then the last question is have you seen anything recently of any art form that you want to recommend?

[52:09] Delavega: Uh, from your house? Yeah, I just, uh, I just watched Normal People.

[52:32] Leah Walsh: Okay.

[52:32] Delavega: Um, and it's a show that's on Hulu, and it's a Hulu original, uh, that they teamed up with the BBC. Um, and it's an Irish show, and it's based off of a book with the same title, and it's just, uh, beautiful. It's like such a simple, it's for me, it's like the kind of thing, it's kind of story, uh, show and film that like I aim to make where it's like if I made this, it'd be like I'm retiring. Like this is perfect, like this is what I've wanted to do. Um, but it's such a simple story. It's just two people who meet and continue to get in their way, uh, like to get in each other's way from actually having this wonderful relationship because they have baggage, because they have issues, but they just keep—they keep missing each other.

Um, it goes from high school to college to post-college, and it's just beautiful, and there's—there's a moment where the character, there's the—the lead, the male lead, it's just sort of he's in—he's at a museum and he's just staring at a painting for hours, and I felt like that watching this show. I felt like I was at a museum in Europe just staring at this massive classic painting and just taking it all in and like being moved by it where it's, you know, I'm looking at one part of it, it's, you know, to bring in happiness and then sadness, and it's just—it was this cathartic, uh, experience watching the show; it was beautiful. I loved it. I cried, I laughed, I smiled, it was—it was wonderful.

[54:08] Leah Walsh: I gotta see it.

[54:10] Delavega: Yeah, it's great.

[54:11] Leah Walsh: Alright. Well, thank you so much for doing this. This really made my day.

[54:15] Delavega: It was great.

[54:26] Leah Walsh: Thank you for listening to The Compass Podcast. If you find these conversations valuable to your life as an artist and would like to support the ongoing production of The Compass, please consider becoming a patron at patreon.com slash The Compass Podcast. Pledges start at as little as one dollar a month. Anything you can give would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you have a moment, please rate or review in iTunes. Every little bit helps other listeners to find the podcast.

[54:59] Delavega: Audio assistance from Nick Choxy, and a special thanks to Frankie J. Alvarez. See you next time.