This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Leah Walsh: Hi, and welcome to The Compass, the podcast documenting the struggles of life as an artist.

[0:05] Leah Walsh: I'm Leah Walsh. Hi. I hope you're all doing okay. I hope you've had a chance to be vaccinated and your loved ones are getting vaccinated and you've been able to see them a little bit more, a little bit more often. We just had my mom here for two weeks. I hadn't seen her in nine months. She hadn't seen my daughter in nine months, which is a long time for a two and a half-year-old. So my daughter is completely different. So it was really lovely to see them together to see her and just to have this tiny bit of extra help in person, another human being. A little bit of space, like just for my husband and I without our lovely charming daughter. It really made a big difference to us, and we are sad now that she is gone.

My guest today is Damian Jermaine Thompson. He is an actor and creator. We overlapped during undergrad at the University of Evansville for a couple of years. We're both based in New York City, and I'm always so happy when our paths cross. I admire Damian's drive to make his own path so much and his positivity. He's also recently been elected to the Actor's Equity Council. So he's working to make change to benefit the community from within that organization as well. I was so happy to hear about his work and his thoughts on building a creative life. I hope you enjoy the 175th episode of The Compass.

[1:57] Leah Walsh: So I always start with the same question, which is what do you do to keep from going to the dark side as an artist?

[2:07] Damian Jermaine Thompson: What do I do to keep from going to the dark side as an artist? For me, like I try to dive or delve into creation, right? The dark side for me a lot of times is filled with anxiety, self-doubt, you know. I had this running kind of cassette recording in my head, you know, like you'll never work again. This is the last job that you're doing. They hired you because they knew you. They hired you because you fooled them for 10 minutes. You know, there's all these things that you put in your head. And although I know that, you know, clearly I've been working consistently for a while, so when you look at the factualness of it, like it doesn't make sense, but it still doesn't stop that record from playing over and over and those feelings from coming up.

So for me, I yeah, I you know, I have a podcast that I started during the pandemic. Because I was like, oh, you know, there's so much stuff going on in the world, and I kind of want to throw my opinions out there. So it was a podcast called I'm Not Judging, I'm Just Saying.

[3:19] Leah Walsh: I don't think I knew about this.

[3:21] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, it's on, you know, it's on Spotify and all the other stuff. But so that I started writing a play. I've written a few shorter plays. I've done like a short film a few years back, which was my first short film called Black Question Mark, and that did fairly well. I also try to help people, as weird as that may sound. And I feel like I started to cultivate over the years really having a joy and a success. Sorry, a joy in other people's success. Like being just as happy for my friends or people that I know or that I've helped or given advice to when they book something or, you know, or they're doing something great, like it genuinely makes me happy and kind of motivates me, right? Like it's like, oh wow, like it's possible. Like, you know, they're doing it, and I remember when they were going through hard times and now they're doing this. It's just amazing. So that helps.

[4:35] Leah Walsh: That was a conscious choice you made at some point to cultivate that, or is that something you've always found to be your first reaction?

[4:45] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Because I know a lot of people can kind of fall down the hole of comparison and kind of getting down sometimes. I was I was never really big on comparison, but I did, you know, I did it every now and then. I remember there was one point where I was dating someone and I was making a comparison about some job that a friend of mine had booked, and she looked at me and was like, Damian, you're comparing yourself to a white female. And it just kind of clicked, right? I was like, oh my god, you're right. Like, clearly, I'm not gonna be doing the same things that this person is doing, right? And even if it's someone that even looks more like you, like it believing in your own individuality, right? And knowing that, like, even though you may look the same, be around the same age group, that there is something that makes you unique, and one person getting something doesn't mean that you would have gotten it had they not been there, right?

[5:49] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And I started to just kind of pay attention over the past like seven, eight years, and it's something really weird. And I spoke to my therapist about it. And therapy is another thing that has helped, but like I started to notice that when I would do good things or, you know, give gifts to someone, or my body reacted in such a weird way, like I started getting goosebumps, right? Like seeing someone happy would give me goosebumps. Like I'm even having it now, like just like talking to you. It's weird, and it's like it's just something that has happened over the past seven or eight years. My body does this thing, like when joy is in the air, it like I get goosebumps, and I'm like I love that. So I started to like, you know, pay attention to when that would happen and try to, you know, kind of cultivate that like oh, when I help people, I feel better.

And I know it's a cliché thing, but it's just, you know, no, but it's an easy thing to not build into your life unless you're someone who's really actively involved with like community service organizations or something like that through a church or something.

[6:58] Leah Walsh: Yeah, it's easy, especially in New York, to just focus on yourself all the time, yeah, and do that comparison game.

[7:05] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Even like I teach, I'm an adjunct professor this past year because of the pandemic, which is great. I teach Shakespeare at the Hart School online, which is nice. But like even doing that, it's like, you know, although it's a job, within that job I'm getting the satisfaction of like giving back and, you know, kind of mentoring and, you know, I offer my services outside of class, you know, like because I really like to see people succeed and especially succeed at something that they love, especially when there's self-doubt, right? Because I feel like growing up, I grew up in Miami. I was born in Jamaica and partly raised in Miami. But coming up, like, you know, the idea of like being a working actor and being a successful working actor was, you know, it wasn't as in reach as one would think, right?

No one in my family partook in the arts. Everyone is kind of an entrepreneur. So stepping out of that and being, you know, kind of like the arts person was different, you know. And I did get support from my mom, which I'm happy, very happy about. But there's, you know, it's still just that when it's not around you 24/7, sometimes you don't know what you can do. So I remember my motivations, my high school drama teacher, my middle school drama teacher, and just hearing her stories and all, you know, would motivate me and think, oh, maybe I can do this. Maybe this is something that I can do. So I like to be that for someone else.

[8:56] Leah Walsh: That's beautiful. How has that—how large of a group are you teaching in these classes?

[8:58] Damian Jermaine Thompson: It's like an average of like 15 students per class, and it's for like the first semester, which was fall of last year, it was one class twice a week, and then they asked me to do two classes twice a week each for the spring, so we just ended last week.

[8:58] Leah Walsh: Okay, that's interesting. Had you done much teaching before that? Because I was just thinking like it's one thing for teachers who've always taught in person to transition to Zoom. If it was your first time teaching, I don't know if it's maybe an advantage that you're like designing your class for that format from the beginning.

[9:46] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, I mean I had done a lot of coaching and a lot of like guest teaching like I'd, you know, go to certain universities and do workshops or, you know, friends would call me in and be like oh can you work with our class blah blah, so I've done things in that respect but I've never had a full-on like full semester class. But I found it to be a bit easier over Zoom. It was easier for me to focus in on each individual student, right? Because it gave it that film and TV aspect where everything is kind of magnified whereas in the classrooms sometimes you can get distracted by, you know, like oh they're standing in a cool way, so I'm not really like paying attention to what they're saying, or you know, their face is doing something weird, but because I'm seeing the whole picture, I'm not like, you know, pointing on in that specific area. But on Zoom, I find that I can fix the smaller things, right?

[10:52] Leah Walsh: Yeah, just because it's so focused.

[10:54] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, yeah.

[10:56] Leah Walsh: Well, I love that you turn to creating to really block out those darker thoughts. Do you—is that something that you find you're able to like keep as a practice in your life consistently, or is it something that you kind of have to come back to in different seasons, like consciously bring yourself back to like I need to make my own work now, I need to have my own project so it's something I can control at this moment?

[11:21] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So yeah, to be no no, to be honest, it's like I've been very fortunate as a performer. And it's something that I have to come back to and be like, okay, you know, now you have some time, put some time in. Because I work pretty consistently, so like my schedule is pretty full most of the time, which is why when I had those, you know, four or five, six months during the pandemic, it was nice. It was like, oh wow, you know, like the first like three months when people were like, oh my god, I'm getting, you know, this is horrible, I don't want to be here anymore. Like it's horrible being home. I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. This is great. I was like, this is—I oh it's so good to be home and like do nothing.

And you know, people kept telling me, like, oh Damien, you should be doing more because in a year you're gonna look back and be like, I wish I had done this. And for me, I was like, uh no. For me, I'm like, I wish I would have taken that time and just relax and take some time for myself, right? And then you know, after like three, four months, you know, the idea of like, okay, this is getting kind of long, and you know, the world is still kind of crazy. So then those kind of thoughts started coming in. But for the first part, I was like, no, this is great. I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna do nothing. I'm just gonna—I mean, when do we ever allow ourselves to really rest like that?

[12:44] Leah Walsh: Maybe if you're really sick, but and then it's not the same experience, you know, you're not really getting rest, your body's like working overtime to heal itself.

[12:53] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, which is, you know, it's interesting. I used to realize that whenever I got a cold or the flu or anything like that, it was always because I was not resting. And it was my body's way of being like, Damien, you will take a couple days and you will rest. And so there's times where I'll talk to myself, right? I'm like, Damien, I know you're gonna—you're getting sick. I promise I will sleep in two days, but we just gotta get through this. Because I know it's my body's way of like, oh, well, I'll make you rest. Or like the day after you close a show, you're just suddenly wrecked.

[13:29] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[13:30] Damian Jermaine Thompson: You weren't listening.

[13:31] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[13:31] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So now I've started to pay attention. Like the minute I start to get a little bit of like, oh wait, I'm—there's a little scratch in my throat. I was like, okay, it's time to put that eight-hour sleep in. Gotta get eight hours.

[13:44] Leah Walsh: What are you excited about right now as things are like starting to reopen a little bit? Is there anything creatively that's kind of sparking your interest or you're looking forward to down the line?

[13:58] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Uh I mean, well, for what I'm doing now, um like I said before, I'm currently in Toronto working on this um feature film. Um, so I'm looking I'm looking forward to that. My my first day of recording should have been tomorrow, but it's been pushed back, I think, to next Friday. Oh my gosh.

[14:20] Leah Walsh: So is the anticipation just driving you crazy?

[14:22] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yes, the anticipation is driving me. I'm just like, I just want to be on set for the first day, you know, because we all get the little twinners, right? Doesn't matter how many times you've you've done something. Um and it's been a while since I've been since I've done like a uh feature film. It's been like five years. Um so I'm I'm excited about it. The role is great. Um, I'm you know, I'm getting to be a little bit um comedic because it's a romantic com comedy. Um so yeah, and it's you know, and they're diving in this idea of like having lines but also doing a little bit of improv because it's comedy, so you can, you know, blah blah blah blah. And so all of that is just like in my head, and I'm like, oh, I just just want things to like relax and open up and COVID to just really calm down and because they're still in modified lockdown here.

[15:11] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So um, but I'm look I'm looking forward to like going to like a really nice restaurant, you know. Like I feel like all of them, um the the ones that are open now, like it's it's great, but there's not like you know the the refined ones, right? Because they can't operate with like 25 or 55% capacity.

[15:33] Leah Walsh: How's your family been doing through all of this?

[15:37] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Uh family's been doing well. Um my dad or my stepdad is on dialysis, so he's had to be very cautious. Um, and my mom, you know, is has to be cautious because they're living together. Um, my brother's a little bit more relaxed. Um, very, I mean, uh, very COVID conscious and COVID safe, but um not as you know anxiety-ridden about it. He's just like, you know, it is what it is, we just gotta do our thing and go on, right? Um you know, he's an entrepreneur, so he owns his own small business.

[16:17] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So for him, it's just about getting things done and trying to stay on on track, right? And he also has my nieces and nephews to worry about, so his mind is a little bit forward.

[16:30] Leah Walsh: Yeah, I feel like it's definitely everybody obviously has had so many varied experiences through all of this, but um, it's been interesting as a parent to have uh a little bit of a different experience of the the lockdown and the quarantine period.

[16:47] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, it was interesting because I was speaking to um Amelia, you know, who's a friend friend of ours um a couple days days ago, and we were talking about you know things opening up, and she's like, you know, like yeah, I I want things to open up, but I have to think about my child, right? I want it to be safe.

[17:06] Leah Walsh: Yeah, and she's like, you know, I yes, I want to get back to work, but I don't want to get back to work at the expense of like risking bringing something home to my child.

[17:16] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So I was like, that makes sense. I'll feel much much better once all the kids can get vaccinated too.

[17:22] Leah Walsh: Yeah, give me a lot of peace of mind.

[17:24] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So can we talk a little bit about the actors equity council that you're a part of now?

[17:30] Leah Walsh: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[17:31] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, totally. You were just elected this this year, right? Or was it last year now?

[17:35] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, no, it was 2020. It was last year, yeah.

[17:39] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, 2020. Yeah, it was 2020. It was actually uh during the pandemic. Um it all runs together for me now.

[17:47] Leah Walsh: So yeah, exactly. It's like the the year started when the pandemic started.

[17:55] Damian Jermaine Thompson: But um no, it it was um it's funny because I like like I said, you know, like I'm my schedule has always been fairly busy that I never thought I really had time, you know, to commit and be on council or be on, you know, be a delegate or just you know, put that kind of service time in.

[18:16] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And when the pandemic hit and I didn't have much going on in the beginning because everything was like shut and closed, um, and this opportunity came came up, I was like, yeah, because I've I mean our union is like, you know, I'm a very union oriented person. I believe in the you know, positive things that it can bring, but I I I I think our union needs work.

[18:38] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Like it's in a very it's it's I I don't think it's in a very good place. Um and but it doesn't mean that there's not optimism in that sense. But I just feel like part of it is that we need to admit that we're not in a good good place, right?

[18:55] Leah Walsh: Yeah, um in in order to bring change.

[18:59] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um so I um I got the the email came out. I I decided to run, you know, got a few folks to like sign and support because you needed a certain amount of signatures and then I got on and to be honest, like, you know, I was shadowing a few meetings, a few council meetings, which we're able to do as members.

[19:23] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Like anyone can do it, but again, like, you know, like no one ever thinks, oh, let me take this time to go sit for three hours or four hours to listen to what our union is talking about, right? Um, and so I did, and it's it was shocking.

[19:32] Damian Jermaine Thompson: It was shocking. It was like the only thing I can equate it to is like if you've ever had parents, if you've ever had young parents, and you reach a certain age and you realize, wow, my parents are young, and they might not really know everything. You know, like it's like it's like yeah, like I'm trusting this. I'm I'm thinking that they're gods and that they know everything, and that you know, they're this, you know, like great person.

[20:08] Damian Jermaine Thompson: I mean, like great, you know, uh out of this world uh figure, but they're just human beings with flaws, and a lot of times they don't know what they're doing, and a lot of times they're making a lot of mistakes.

[20:19] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And that for me was like, I was like, oh my god, this is our union needs help, you know, like our union needs needs help.

[20:29] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And so um one of the major things that I've been advocating for, because you know, I I have other friends that have a list of things that they're trying to, you know, change or improve. And for me, I'm like, I don't think you we can do much until we get full transparency.

[20:49] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And there's this just a huge lack of transparency within our union. I think it's become a culture in this country in general, right? Where accountability threatens people. You know, like being able to quote you on something or being like, This is what you said, and bringing it back and having people stand by their word, is become this, oh my god, you know, but what if people use it against me, or what if, you know, um someone discriminates against me because of something I believe in?

[21:22] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And I'm like, that's a part of being a leader. It's like if you're willing to put yourself out there, you have to be able to stand in the face of all that, right? And if you and if you can't, or if you choose not to, which is your choice, um, you know, no one's saying that you have to, um, that you might not need to be in that leadership position.

[21:44] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And that's a hard thing for people to grasp, you know, because I feel like there's also a sense of importance that people get from this. Um a lot of things I advocate for when I sit back, it's like I don't benefit from these.

[22:01] Damian Jermaine Thompson: I mean, I benefit in in a way where, you know, if the people around you are are happy and you know, and um excited, then you will be happy and excited in in that sense. But you know, I've I've spoken on behalf of like defunding our health fund and getting a health fund that actually works for the members.

[22:22] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um, and I've you know, like I have extra weeks. I I work a lot, so I've never had an issue having health insurance, it's not a thing for me, but I'm also not um content with like thinking about myself and realizing that 15% of our union get to use the health insurance, you know, 20% if we're being like generous, like very generous.

[22:51] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And the only way that those 20% get to use the health insurance is if 80% of the people don't like if 80% of the people don't make their required weeks, that's the only way that 20% gets it.

[23:05] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And if we all made our weeks, it would be virtually impossible for the health fund to actually work. So it's like looking at things like like that, it's like even if you worked 52 hours a week, sorry, 52 weeks a year, you still don't pay for the year health insurance that you as one individual get.

[23:25] Damian Jermaine Thompson: You still have to rely on the people that work and don't make their health. And they their unused health weeks is what's giving the 20% their actual health insurance.

[23:37] Leah Walsh: Right.

[23:37] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And that just doesn't seem like a viable. It just doesn't seem fair.

[23:41] Leah Walsh: Yeah.

[23:41] Damian Jermaine Thompson: It just doesn't matter.

[23:42] Leah Walsh: Which doesn't surprise me, especially since the health industry in our country.

[23:47] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah. In general, it's uh and so it's like, you know, it's um for me, I think it's a bit selfish to think about yourself and think in that sense of like, well, I'm making my my weeks and you know, and I'm doing blah blah blah.

[24:00] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And um, yeah, so yeah. So that's that's been, you know, so and it won't necessarily affect me in the most positive way.

[24:10] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um, but I think it will, as a union, it will benefit us in the sense that yes, we might defund it and we don't have a perfect system now, but it's that idea that if you take away what doesn't work, you will be forced to find something that will.

[24:31] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And advocating for state, you know, run health or um federal run health programs is a better use of our money than giving 15 to 20 percent of our constituents health insurance, while the other 80 just sits there and have to figure it out on their on their on their own.

[24:53] Damian Jermaine Thompson: And so I I advocated with a few other people, um, which it didn't, you know, didn't pass because you know there's a lot of resistance, and right, rightly so, you know, I'm I'm not saying that it's a cut and you know, a black and white issue.

[25:08] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um, but I I somewhat advocated for kind of what Canada does, where you I mean, they have a federal health thing, but that money that you would put in that health thing, you give the actors, like you pay the actors more.

[25:25] Damian Jermaine Thompson: So the contracts are actually more. So if I'm trying to make 11 weeks to get six months and I don't, and I get and I make 10 weeks, it's not that now I don't have health insurance and I don't have the money to get it.

[25:38] Damian Jermaine Thompson: At least if I was being paid those 10 weeks, you know, paid extra, I can use that money and advocate for like Obamacare or whatever resources, you know, we have in our regions.

[25:50] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um, so yeah, it's just looking at it from the greater good of like what is better for 51,000 members and not 2,000 members or 3,000 members.

[26:03] Leah Walsh: Those numbers are just so shocking.

[26:06] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, and they don't and they don't tell you like that's the thing.

[26:09] Damian Jermaine Thompson: No one talks talks in the just like the plain transparency, you know, way like transparent way. It's it's always riddled with like fear and oh my god, and people won't have health insurance, and we won't, it's like the majority of us don't have health insurance.

[26:26] Leah Walsh: Right, right, already.

[26:28] Damian Jermaine Thompson: I think it's admirable that you're you're stepping up and you're volunteering to work within that system.

[26:36] Leah Walsh: Like it's as difficult as I'm sure it will be because it's gonna be such a bureaucracy as you know even though our union does a lot of great things it also leaves a lot of things undone and um that's why we need need people like you on the inside.

[26:54] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah no no yeah but there's there's one thing is like you know each time you go to like a meeting or something like you know the recent town hall that they had when people were asking like we need like concrete plans to get back to work like what are we doing right?

[27:09] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um, you know, starting a meeting with like 30 to 45 minutes of telling us how great you're doing doesn't help. You know if we're here because people are having concerns and issues it's like take the time to find out what the concerns are and address the actual concerns that are being brought up instead of giving us a 45 minute lecture on the great things that you quote unquote are are doing right I think we know the things that are good.

[27:36] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Like no one is negating the fact that there isn't some good being done but as a majority it's like you know the just having that transparency and being able to see and having the um the strength to to admit what's not working is the only way that you will be able to improve otherwise, we're giving it a band-aid, and then further down the line, you know, it's gonna be the same crap.

[28:06] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Like the pandemic forced people to see what the issues were. Because, like, like myself, right? I knew that there were problems, but I was too busy, you know. Like, I was like, oh, my career, I have to do this, I have to do that, whatever. And now, like stepping back, it's like, man, like there is a lot of issues. Yeah, and with this pause, we have that opportunity to like really try to turn them around. Yeah. In our personal lives, you know, in our careers, like, you know, thoughts of the future, right? Um, are there any lessons that you've learned in the last couple years that you're really proud of that you wouldn't mind sharing?

[28:46] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah. Uh oh God, you just it's funny, just asking me that it has already you can hear the quipper in my voice. It could be something. No, I'm already getting a little, you know, I'm just already getting a bit emotional because it's it's been, you know, it's been a year. It's been a uh 2019 was a very hard year for me. Even before the pandemic, I um I went through like a very horrible breakup. Um and it got just not very good, like very negative in certain parts. And and also I lost a lot of people. Like I it's the year that I lost the most um people, and it was wasn't it it wasn't older people, so it hit in in a different way. It was like mortality kind of had set in, right? So by the time the pandemic came, it was just like we are mortal human beings on another, you know, like to another level.

Like we, you know, you've just managed to. I feel like the pandemic has aged me in that sense of showing me that life is not as long as we think. Um, and also that it's it could be you could be here one day and not be here the next. Right? 70, 75, you know, give or take a few, you know, five or ten. Um that everyone has that. And when we are mean to other people, or you know, or treat people in certain ways that don't uplift them or better their lives, that we're robbing someone of that short window. And that for me hit last year in a way that I'd never like that it had never hit me before. Um that the way you treat someone really affects them. And it's you know, we've heard that cliche thing and all that kind of stuff, but if you think about it, and I you know, I make the comparison to people like Jeff Bezos, and I'm not just attacking uh corporate corporations or or anything, but just him for an example, someone that is able to make billions in this country, right?

So much money that you cannot spend it in one lifetime, but you're willing to take other people's lifetimes, like you're literally taking the years from them to put on your own, and you can't spend that in your life, your lifetime. Right. So wouldn't it be better to take that extra that you have and afford these people you know, a a couple like 10 20 years of a great life you know while they're here in and it's not going to take anything away from you because you will still be living beyond your comfort right. I I I just think to have companies that are making billions and having people that are working for those companies that are barely surviving, you know, not having health insurance and not knowing where the next you know how the next bill is going to be paid I I think it's it's monstrous um and that for me hit it just hit me this past year on a on a real level that we have to do more to help people while they're here because when you know when someone is gone it's like oh I could have done or I should have done or you know what you know how could I made their lives better um we can do it while they're here and how can we how can we do that on whatever scale is possible in our own lives.

[32:53] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah like just something simple as you know like I I I think that's why for me that cultivating helping someone or cult cultivating being there for someone like my friends know that you can call me at 2 a.m in the morning to put you on a self tape to ask like an advice you know like I'm kind of a life coach to like a lot of people and they are to me to me to me too, you know. Like I if I have problems and things, I can always call someone and have a talk and just and just realizing that that's for me, that's how I made it through 2019. Um my friends, you know, even more than my family, I would say my friends, like the chosen family, right?

[33:39] Leah Walsh: Um yeah, the importance of community.

[33:44] Leah Walsh: Yeah, well, I was gonna say, piggybacking off of that, can you tell me a little bit about your artistic community and your any collaborators that you've found that have been important to your lifeblood as an artist and being able to do your own projects along the way?

[34:02] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Yeah, um, there were you know, there's a few people, there's three individuals in my life that um that really inspired me in a really great way, in a really great way. And the first one is my high school/slash middle school theater teacher. Um we met at a performing arts school in middle school. Um, but then when I was going to the performing arts high school, she just happened to be transferring that same year, so I had the privilege of being with her um for an extended period of time. But she was the one that got me into the arts. I got into the arts because I had a horrible stutter. I came from Jamaica. I was put in a speech class, and it was kind of abrasive and just a very harsh technique.

Um, and so I developed a stuttering, which was like every other word. I couldn't even say my name. It was like, hi, I'm Damian, and I'm here, like that's how it was. And she realized that when I was on stage, I didn't stutter. And so she um encouraged me to audition for the performing arts program, and I did, and I got in and just kind of you know went on from there. But just like her life teachings have been very, very helpful. Um and then the next person was um one of our professors in uh our undergrad. Um and it was someone, you know, it's someone now who I mean we both know this person, I won't say their names out of risk respect, but it was someone that you know later on we found out had a lot of issues and struggles and demons that um they were overcoming.

Um which was hard for me because you know, like I saw that and I agreed. I mean, you know, it there was major issues there, but on the other side of it for me was um that person also played a uh a huge part in me being an artist um and was kind of a mentor for me there while while I was there for four four years. Um and just was you know, like didn't baby me, like I I wasn't um the chosen one, I wasn't the you know the favorite one in the class, right? Um, and I remember he asked me a very important question, he said he brought me in his office and he said, Is this easy for you? And I I was like, What? He's like acting, is acting easy, you know. And I I told him, you know, I was very honest with him.

I said, because at that time I was still struggling with stuttering, like um, I was pretty good on stage, but cold readings, or if I got really, really nervous, it would come every now and then. And so, you know, I told him, I said, hey, I said, it's actually not. I said, it's actually it's a battle. You know, it's a it's a struggle. Um, and it's something I work at every day. It's something I work at every time I'm on stage. I don't have the luxury, especially at that time, to just relax and be myself. And I'm just acting. I, you know, it's always like, how can I use the technique so that I don't stutter, but but I'm still being authentic and you know, and portraying, you know, a real human being.

And then he said to me, he's like, that's good. He said, you're not the most talented person at this school, and you're not the most talented person that has come through the school, but you're one of the hardest working. And he's like, never stop that, never stop that, because that's what's gonna make you work, is your work ethic. And it just it stuck with me because you know, it was just it was just like a real conversation and a real thing, and he wasn't like, you know, kissing my butt or something. It was just it was like, no, it's like this and this, and it's not always just about talent and your natural, you know, given, you know, um, gifts. A lot of it comes down to self-motivation, self-determination, and how hard you're willing to work.

And I've never thought of myself as a you know, the most talented actor, but I I've never questioned my ability to work. Um, you know, e even though I have I we talked about having that record playing in your head, there is still I I'm still confident that this is something that I can do. This is something I can make a living from, and I know it is because I know that I'm willing to put the work in, even when it's not coming easy.

[35:24] Damian Jermaine Thompson: Um, and then the third person was in was the head of my grad program, and you know, tying it back to the stuttering, he basically said, and this is how I licked the final part of it. We he had a thing where he's like, I want you to document every time you stutter, um, write it down in a journal, and then we'll meet, you know, once a week or once every other week, and we'll talk about it. And it, you know, I started to see that when I started stuttering, it was because I didn't feel like I had something important to say. I was just trying to get the words out. I thought that people didn't want to hear me, you know. Um, I was just trying to rush and I'm just you know, just going. And my breath, like I would hold my stomach, hold my abdominal area, and so I just wouldn't be breathing.

And he said, I want you to do an exercise. Try to recreate your stuttering. And I was like, what? He's like, Yeah, when you're in public, you know, around friends or colleagues, intentionally try to stutter. And I was like, what? Okay. And then I did, and it was like a weird thing because like I realized when you start to be able to when you can control it and actually make it happen out of choice, then you start to let go of the um stigma that is surrounding it, right? Um let go of the stories that you've built up. In that moment, yeah. When it's not happening to you and you are creating it, you see that it's not as big a deal as you think. You see that people will be patient they will wait right right um and that a lot of the the thoughts that are going through your head is just that it's thoughts that are going through your head and no one is rushing you no one's like you know why why is he stuttering like you know people just wait and then they hear what you have to say and you continue so that um yeah that was a a a major revelation and just like the teachings and stuff also and the like it was a very language based program and I I I have a a love of like rhetoric and like rhetorical speaking and um that was really nurtured in graduate school can I ask um where your thoughts on your your stuttering live in your mind today like does it come up do you think about it much or is it really something that you're like oh that's something I did earlier in my life or does it have a life in your imagination nowadays?

[41:35] Damian Jermaine Thompson: I I think it's still it's still present. It doesn't run my life right there's not a there's not as much anxiety around it.

[41:47] Damian Jermaine Thompson: But it you know it still comes um it comes when I'm passionate um a lot of times and a lot of times I just have to remember like the more passionate I get is the more articulate I get, um, which is interesting. It's like I've managed to um overcome it by being overly articulate, if if that makes sense. Um, but it's still yeah, it's still it's still it's still there. It's just that now it's probably like five percent on my on my mind, versus growing up, um, it was you know like 75%, you know. In in college it was like 60 to 65, right? Um so I was just slowly chipping away at it. Right. And and and being able to like I I remembered um in graduate school, there was a role I was playing where the character had a mouthpiece, um, like that he had it's a thing that covered his soft palate, because he was born without a palate, and so with the piece in he speaks very articulate, and without it, he'd hunt off like this, so you can't understand what he's saying, right?

And so my biggest fear was like as the character, when I put the mouthpiece in, and I'm and I'm supposed to be this articulate person that I would stutter, and so all night I was like just like fretting about it as the run, you know, and like um it was like the third week in, like the last week of the run, and I was like, oh my god, I I'm almost to the finish line, you know, da-da-da. And I remember one night I did it, and like I got so excited because the character got excited, and I I stuttered, and the audience erupted in this huge laughter, and that and I was just like, oh my god, this can be a character choice. This is amazing, like you know, like it's just like the I the idea that we all this stuff that we put on our head, like sometimes if we just let it go, we never know what the reaction will be, right?

And I, yeah, and from and that just eased up so much tension and frustration, and it never happened again, but it gave me a peace of mind that like if it did happen, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the in the world. Yeah, and in some way, like what would happen if we all brought like 100% of ourselves? I think everybody has something that they're like, well, that that isn't something that anyone wants to see. That's not something that I should ever show to anyone. And it's like actually a really interesting part of you. Yeah. It might add to what you're doing. Yeah. I I my acting journey has been from I used to think that I would have to be a character. And I would put on a character that was separate from myself.

And part of that was rooted in the idea of like this person doesn't stutter, right? And as I continued my training, I realized that like the character has to start from me. Like I have to be the human being that is speaking. Right. Um and that's yeah, and that's that's a little bit of undergrad, a little bit of grad, you know, that that journey has just been like, yeah, I have to start from me as a real person. Can you tell me a little bit about the short film that you made? Have you is it available for people to see, or what was your experience speaking it? Um, so um it's called Black Question Mark, and the motivation um around it, it's it's based on my personal experiences in New York. Um, which ties a again a lot into my speech.

Um, being born in Jamaica and having gone through speech classes and you know, and speaking the way that I do now. Um when I would go into rooms, like people always asked me, Oh, can you speak more more like yourself, right? Or like do it more like you. And so I would think I was like acting, and you know, I would oh, do it, do it again and just try to take all the acting out. And they would still be like, you know, oh, you sound a bit British, which I don't sound British. I just, you know, I don't know. I I I kind of have a non-regional accent, I guess. But um, so like all these things kept coming up, and I just didn't know what it was, and I just thought, oh my God, I'm you know, being that actor that's like acting.

And then a friend of mine was a reader, and uh and then a friend of mine was a reader in the broom once, and you know, I went through this whole experience with a director telling me that I wasn't, you know, that I wasn't being myself and that I needed to talk more like me. And then as we left, my friend called me and was like, I just wanted you to know that you were being yourself, you were talking like yourself, and just listening to the conversations after you left, they thought that you had that you were putting on a proper way of speaking, but me knowing you and knowing that that's how you talk, like it wasn't, you know, but they long story short, they expected a more urban sound or a more quote unquote black sound.

Um and so that had been happening a few times, and it happened in a in an audition for a commercial where the casting person acted out what she would like me to say, and it was just like so jarring that like I started laughing, which she took to mean, you know, like it was a joke, and I was like, okay, because she, you know, like I would try to do it, and she was like, No, you need to say it like this, you know, like oh my gosh, why not go to McDonald's? I'll be doing it. And I was like, oh wow, and I was just like, okay, and she's like, try it. And I tried it, and she's like, That that's good, right? And I was like, Yeah, uh, didn't book it, which is fine, but like, um it was just, yeah, it was just that kind of thing.

And so, you know, um, actors are we bitch a lot, you know, we complain a lot. And I thought instead of complaining and being that that actor that is always, you know, going to other actors and being like, Can you believe that this happened? Blah blah blah. I was like, how how can I use this and kind of put a positive spin on it? And so I decided to write this short film, kind of like talking about that issue, right? Um, and so I sat down and I think I knocked it out in like 15 minutes. Like I just like quickly wrote I know it was shocking because I was I was very impassioned, and I was just like, I'm just gonna write this. And so I wrote it, and a friend of mine read it, uh, and she, you know, asked me, she's like, um, is there a part in there for me?

And I was like, uh, because uh it was um based on two New York actors um that are, you know, one is more your traditional black, quote unquote, and then one is more, you know, the um the safe black, quote unquote, and they're living together and kind of navigating the same experiences and how you know it affects each person. Uh and so there's casting people in it, and so I yeah, I said, Yeah, you can add yourself as a casting person. So there was a scene that was a one-person casting person, and she turned it into two, which was great, because then it, you know, there was chemistry between two people. It it brought the film, I think, to a a higher level. Um, and it showed that it wasn't a black and white thing because the the casting um people weren't white, right?

So it's it's not an issue of black and white it's an issue of what our society expects to see right and even me as a as a black male still succumb to those ideas right to to those when I get a script I'm like oh maybe oh he's black let me drop drop my voice right like it's just these ideas that you probably want to see from me yeah and you want to and what I've seen yeah and what what I've seen on TV, what I've seen you know on the radio on uh in movies so it's it's just it's like I realize how much the arts influence what we think and and how we behave as human beings. So I decided to write this film. So I wrote it shot it um I was lucky enough to have um a DP friend of mine that had like a whole crew and he did it for free so the so that wasn't a a cost the major cost was just sound because you can't really do anything without paying for sound um and it did well it went to a couple film festivals it went to the International Black Film Festival in Nashville it went to um the Orlando Film Festival the Albuquerque Film Festival and a few others it won uh best uh short film at the New York premiere film festif festival um I've had like uh schools that have seen it at film festivals asked me to be able to play it in their classrooms you know it's just a way of like educating students on the you know the industry and you know how we can make change and create change and break expect expectations.

Um so yeah, it's been a it's been a a good journey. It's um it's I don't have it out out like for everyone to see. Okay. Um but I should, I should, because it's been I I initially had it password protected because it was still you know doing doing its rounds. Um but now I just kind of send it. If someone asks me, I just send it. But I sh after this podcast, I will upload it on YouTube. You let me know and I will let the listeners know when you decide to do that. But I would I would definitely love to see it. I will upload it on you you YouTube and it will be Black B L A C K quest question mark. Okay, great. Yeah. Um well I think we're pretty much at the end of our recording time, but I usually ask two quick questions right at the end so we can do like a lightning round with these two really quick.

Um and then we'll wrap up. The first one is when you do feel yourself kind of going to that dark place. Um, are there any tangible things that you reach for again and again that help you combat it, like a book that you reread or music that you listen to or something like that? Um to be honest, like well, what I do is I I tend to try to find like a a TV show. Um I you know, I'm I'm a firm believer of letting the emotions run and you know, and experiencing them. Um I don't necessarily feel like I need to sit in a room and sit with my emotions and just you know, and just experience them by myself and then on my own. And what I do is like I get a TV show, you know, and um most times one that's emotionally driven, and I kind of get lost in it.

I get lost in this other world. I allow myself to cry to, you know, to go through the emotions that the actors are going through, and and in a way, it gives me a cathartic feeling, right? Like I'm still experiencing all the things that is going on in my in my life. But there's a bit of a separation to it. I love that. I do that too. Um and then the last question, and maybe this will be related, is there a piece of art that you've experienced lately that you want to recommend of any art form? A piece of art. Um so I'm I'm I I have a great love for visual art as well. Um there's a there's a guy by the name of Hernan Bass, um, uh painter. Um and he's very big now. Like he has shows, you know, in New York, Paris, like, you know, he's at Art Basel.

Um, and his art for me, there's so much emotion within the art that a lot of times I I go back to looking at his his uh stuff. Um and it reminds me of Edward Monk, who's one of my favorite artists. And that's one of the things I love about Edward Edward Monk is that his pieces are so emotional. Um when you look into the character's eyes, and he even wrote like small poetry um for each of his paintings. Um and I had the pleasure of going to his museum in uh Oslo in Norw Norway, and there they have the writing selections next to each painting, and just like reading those words and looking at the painting is just like, oh, it yeah, it kind of like inspires me like over and over again. Well, Damien, thank you so much. This really just made my day. Oh, thank you. It was a pleasure. I can't believe that I this time flew. It flew by too fast.

[54:45] Thank you for listening to the Compass Podcast.

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