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[0:18] David Rigano: Hello, and welcome to The Drama Book Show.

[0:20] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I'm David Rigano.

[0:22] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I am Mark-Eugene Garcia, and this is episode nine.

[0:25] David Rigano: Something like that.

[0:27] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yes.

[0:28] David Rigano: You know, you know better, listener, because you're actually looking at the thing that says what episode we're on.

[0:34] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, yes. This is episode nine.

[0:35] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Episode nine. Here we go.

[0:37] David Rigano: Um and and today we we are getting not just to hear about the work, but we're getting to hear a little bit of the work.

[0:46] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, we had to perform it. This is Sincerely Held Beliefs, a play by Bambi Everson.

[0:52] David Rigano: Right.

[0:52] Mark-Eugene Garcia: And Bambi is, I want to say a bit of a celebrity.

[0:56] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, she's definitely she's a good friend of the store. She comes in quite often.

[0:58] Mark-Eugene Garcia: It's always happy to see her come in and to sign her scripts.

[1:02] David Rigano: Which she's so prolific.

[1:04] Mark-Eugene Garcia: She has so much on our shelves.

[1:06] David Rigano: Yeah, we first started talking about doing an event here. I was expecting that we were gonna do some noir.

[1:12] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, she's got a lot of film noir on our shelves.

[1:16] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Uh a lot inspired by the Dashiell Hammett stories, The Thin Man.

[1:22] David Rigano: Yes, and those the characters of Nick and Nora.

[1:25] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I was expecting that.

[1:26] David Rigano: Yeah.

[1:27] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Not what we got.

[1:28] David Rigano: No, and it was a delightful surprise, but also just so profound.

[1:32] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[1:32] David Rigano: It I was expecting that it was gonna be comedy.

[1:32] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, very much.

[1:40] David Rigano: But this one is it's in the title, Sincerely.

[1:43] Mark-Eugene Garcia: And we talked about it last time, and I was there to witness it, but while this was happening, I remember you had to step away.

[1:49] David Rigano: Yes.

[1:50] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I'm very glad that I was not moderating this one because I was getting so emotional when they were reading the scene that I had to step away from my post where I was.

[2:00] David Rigano: And had I been up there on stage as the moderator, I don't know what I would have done.

[2:05] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, I was already sitting in the back listening and feeling that. I saw you come back and I knew.

[2:11] David Rigano: I was like, oh, I know why he's coming back again.

[2:13] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[2:13] David Rigano: And I won't spoil it, but it was as soon as I understood what the main conflict of the story was gonna be.

[2:22] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I had to take a moment.

[2:24] David Rigano: Yeah.

[2:24] Mark-Eugene Garcia: And speaking of moderators, we had a new moderator come in.

[2:27] David Rigano: We had Jay Michaels moderating this, who is another friend of the store, who has partnered with us to bring some really cool events here for this and and many afterwards.

[2:37] Mark-Eugene Garcia: And so it was nice to see him step in and talk.

[2:41] David Rigano: He's taken on a kind of co-producer role.

[2:43] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[2:43] Mark-Eugene Garcia: And he's such a big personality.

[2:45] David Rigano: Oh my god.

[2:47] Mark-Eugene Garcia: So it was fun to see him bring that and put that in front of an audience.

[2:50] David Rigano: Yeah, that was really nice.

[2:52] Mark-Eugene Garcia: It was just such a good performance all around. From him to Bambi to the cast.

[2:56] David Rigano: I really enjoyed it. Why don't we let's dive dive right into it?

[3:05] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I have to make it his I should be honored.

[3:11] Jay Michaels: Um Mark and David are absolute geniuses, and what they have managed to do with the Drama Book Store is absolutely incredible.

[3:20] Jay Michaels: Uh they not only have have made this an absolute institution, even beyond the institution that it was, but they have opened the doors for artists of all kinds to bring their materials here and welcome audiences.

[3:34] Jay Michaels: Mark and David should be applauded as loudly as anything.

[3:44] Jay Michaels: My second thing is saying that I'm honored to be into the Drama Book Shop. It has been around for forever.

[3:51] Jay Michaels: And thank you, Lin-Manuel Miranda, for keeping it around forever.

[3:58] Jay Michaels: It needs the last of its kind. If it has to be the last of its kind, let it be the last of its kind forever.

[4:04] Jay Michaels: So please tell your friends to come and find things here and support it and all other good things and come and see that marvelous display up front and all other good things.

[4:22] Jay Michaels: I'm at a bit of a disadvantage with Bambi because the other clients that I brought here I've I've known forever, so I could wax philosophical at the drop of a hat.

[4:32] Jay Michaels: Bambi came to me through her media genius partner, uh Frank Coleman.

[4:38] Jay Michaels: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[4:46] Jay Michaels: Oh, well, I lose this century 569 pixels.

[4:53] Jay Michaels: Um so I I had to sit down and say, okay, I don't know her work enough to bullshit to about it, so why don't I simply read it?

[5:03] Jay Michaels: And she's brilliant, and she is absolutely brilliant.

[5:08] Jay Michaels: Her work is uh it walks a line between the familiar characters that we we almost can identify with and an envelope pushing reality and humanity that she gives to them that is unique in so many ways.

[5:23] Jay Michaels: She takes a story that again we immediately empathize, but gives it new twists, epidemizes the term pages.

[5:31] Jay Michaels: What one she's going to talk about today's ensuing a couple weeks is your Christmas story.

[5:35] Jay Michaels: It comes down right to a Christmas carol if you want to get ironic about it.

[5:40] Jay Michaels: But if you then delve into it, it delves into the human psyche in such a way that you walk away truly transfixed, as I did when I read it.

[5:49] Jay Michaels: So I'm looking forward to hearing with Steve. I'm looking forward to these absolutely brilliant actors, present scenes from it.

[5:56] Jay Michaels: And you're not here to talk to hear me Wolch any further, so instead, I'm going to turn it over to Bambi.

[6:03] Jay Michaels: Thank you all. And I hope to see you at other events.

[6:06] Jay Michaels: Please go online to jmichaelts.com. We uh promote independent artists everywhere.

[6:12] Jay Michaels: Independent theater, independent film, independent television, if we could believe that exists, and independent authors.

[6:20] Jay Michaels: And we have we are now talking to caterers, we're not talking to anyone who says, I'm an artist and I want my work seat.

[6:27] Jay Michaels: So please feel free to log on and say hello. Meanwhile, say hello to Bambi.

[6:41] Bambi Everson: Thanks so much, Jay. Um, I'm very, very emotional being here because I started coming to the Drama Workshop in all of its uh various locations in 1973.

[6:54] Bambi Everson: So if you do the math, it's half as long as the Drama Bookshop has existed.

[7:00] Bambi Everson: I have existed within the walls, crawled on the floor looking for scenes with my acting partners, some of who are here tonight.

[7:09] Bambi Everson: I all acting partners, and um, I'll be talking later. Uh, I want to thank you all for coming out on this on this cold night.

[7:18] Bambi Everson: It means so much to me. And uh the one advice I can give to anybody is just to see theater, see readings in a basement, see it off Broadway, see it on Broadway, see it in a little cubicle, see it in the Drama Bookshop, but just see theater because that's how I find my wonderful actors, all of which are here tonight.

[7:42] Bambi Everson: I have found from three different places.

[7:44] Bambi Everson: Uh, first is Erin Treadwick.

[7:47] Audience: Yay.

[7:54] Bambi Everson: Next is Mary Monahan.

[8:02] Bambi Everson: You're playing uh Mandy.

[8:04] Mary Monahan: Mandy, she's playing Mandy.

[8:05] Bambi Everson: The character is supposed to be me.

[8:07] Bambi Everson: Okay, she's playing Mandy.

[8:09] Bambi Everson: And lastly, straight from her great production of Sex Workplay is Carrie Began.

[8:22] Bambi Everson: And I'm I'm just so honored to have the three of them here. They met for the first time on Sunday.

[8:28] Bambi Everson: We've had one rehearsal, but I'm going to let the play speak for itself, and then I'll talk a little bit about thank you to my darling angel Frank at the beginning who will help me out.

[8:44] Bambi Everson: All right, we're ready to go.

[8:45] Bambi Everson: Yeah, we're going to set the mood.

[8:49] Bambi Everson: Queenie, my love and die.

[8:58] Bambi Everson: But my own eye.

[9:04] Bambi Everson: Oh winner, I die.

[9:09] Bambi Everson: Oh, in a Sincerely Held Beliefs by Bambi Everson.

[9:21] Bambi Everson: Scene one. Weston's funeral home in Brooklyn, New York. An ante-room off the reception area.

[9:27] Bambi Everson: There is an old oversized couch with throw pillows and two end tables with boxes of tissues.

[9:33] Bambi Everson: An uncomfortable straight back upholstered chair with an embroidered cushion on it.

[9:38] Bambi Everson: Scattered pamphlets about God and grieving. At rise, Mandy rushes in and sits down.

[9:45] Bambi Everson: She takes some deep breaths. Her friend Marsha follows her.

[9:51] Marsha: Sorry, I just couldn't take it anymore.

[9:53] Marsha: You look like you're going to be sick. Should we find the bathroom?

[9:56] Mandy: You don't want to walk into the wrong room here.

[9:59] Marsha: No, I just need a moment. I can't be the one falling apart in there.

[10:03] Mandy: I don't see how anyone can keep it together.

[10:05] Marsha: It's awful.

[10:06] Mandy: I can't imagine.

[10:07] Marsha: That's the thing. I am a mom. I can't imagine.

[10:09] Mandy: It's the worst possible thing that could ever happen to anyone.

[10:14] Marsha: There was people in there. How can they say things like that? I just want to punch them in the throat.

[10:19] Mandy: Well, some people, not you, obviously, but some people take comfort in knowing that a child is in God'll hear you!

[10:33] Mandy: Sad didn't need another fucking angel. This is a Catholic service, after all.

[10:34] Marsha: I don't care. What kind of God takes an eight-year-old child? Tell me who does that.

[10:39] Mandy: You're right. It's not fair. But do you know what's not fair? That God chose to spare the idiot that mowed her down. That's what's not fair.

[10:48] Mandy: A room chuck full of mourners thinking they're virtuous because they're wearing their black and red ribbons of support.

[10:55] Marsha: Where were they all after Ather? Who sat up with her the first two nights while she screamed and cried to her apartment? Not God, that's for sure.

[11:07] Mandy: You have a lot of negative emotions right now, and it's disrupting your body's energy system. Would you like me to do some tapping therapy on you?

[11:13] Marsha: What?

[11:17] Marsha: Here. Now we could go to the bathroom if you'd like. Some privacy, but here's okay.

[11:24] Mandy: No thanks, Marsha. I am sad a little girl is dead. I don't think I can or want to tap my troubles away.

[11:32] Marsha: Of course you were sad. But I want to help manage your stress, not your grief. Grief is natural.

[11:39] Mandy: I appreciate it, but I'm going to live with my feelings I have right now. Thanks, though.

[11:44] Delave: lost an aggressive. She spots Mandy and Marsha.

[11:46] Mandy: Mandy!

[11:51] Delave: Oh my too old. I'm sorry, this just sounds like a this place echoes like a tune a little bit.

[12:03] Delave: Uh sorry, she could stop. I'm so glad to see you.

[12:08] Delave: I was afraid. When did you get here?

[12:12] Mandy: I I couldn't do the viewing. I'm sorry. I couldn't see her like that.

[12:17] Delave: Oh, I understand. Thank goodness you're here now. I don't think I could handle this without you.

[12:24] Mandy: I was here for the service. I tried to get to your eye, but the finally taken over everything. Draping her in a white dress, rosary beads in her hand. That's not my little girl. Where are her glasses? She needs her glasses. She can't see without them. They were a question, remember? I'm sorry, and the service was horrible. Not what I wanted. Thank God for Xanax. I need a breather and a bunch more tissues. Take the box. My grandmother used to do that. Put our snotty tissues up her sleeves. I always thought it was kind of gross. Um, the video of her classmates was really sweet. Nice that so many of her teachers came too. Yes. Thank you for facilitating that. Oh, sorry, uh, how rude. You remember my friend, Marsha, right?

[13:46] Hilary: Uh, I don't think so. But if she really wanted to come. Oh. From high school? We weren't in the same year, but you know, we're all family. Mandy and I were M M. I remember now. Couldn't need to go. Such a tragedy. I just want you to know I am here for you. Here's my card. In case you need help. Help. I'm trained in EFT.

[14:18] Mandy: Uh, electronic fund transfers?

[14:22] Hilary: Emotional freedom technique. MDBT. R R T. CBT, ITI, and Primal Screen. Uh, that's a lot of initials to keep straight. Well, thank you. I'm sorry. It's been a nightmare's few days. And if one more person tells me Katya's in a better place. Oh, I see that. Her place was here with you and Steve. We all love so much. Oh, she loved you too. Every time I told her Aunt Mandy and Olivia were coming to babysit, she practically pushed me out the door. You spoiled her. Olivia and Cassia were a great team. Guess it's okay to tell you. We never ate what you left for us when you ordered pizzas and made s'mores.

[15:17] Hilary: Oh, I knew. Her little fingers were always sticking with marshmallow goo in the morning. You didn't work too hard to destroy the evidence. I didn't mind. I'm glad now she got to experience some of the finer things in life. You can never have too much shot. Unless you're a diabetic. Look, I've got to go back in there. Not that I'll be missed. Kotin's grandparents are holding court. Apparently, this is all about them. She was the only grandchild, and they keep looking at me as if I'm somehow to blame.

[15:55] Mandy: You are not to blame. That crazy bitch that lost control of the car. That's where the blame goes. Nowhere else. Nobody knows how to deal with death, especially a senseless one. People say the weirdest things. My parakeet died after eating my mother's screw cake. I was 14. I loved that bird. I named him Leonard Birdseed. I'm sorry for your loss.

[16:33] Hilary: Another shirt. But don't easy on them, okay? I need your wits about you.

[16:41] Mandy: Thanks. You're coming back to the house tonight, right? The reception is catered by our turns.

[16:50] Hilary: Absolutely. Go tend your people. Deep breath. Just gonna splash some cold water on my face. Love you. Love you back. Hang in there. Fine. Stay in touch.

[17:13] Hilary exits.

[17:17] Mandy: Really? What? You gave her your business card? Is that why you wanted to come? Not really the time for networking. I wasn't going to charge her. Oh, maybe I should have said that. Maybe you should just let her grieve her dead child. Do you think she noticed? Well sweat. I'm wearing our high school t-shirt. I touched the ribbon colors. Ironic, huh? I think Hilary's just trying to get through the fucking debt. She needs all the support she can get. I'm going back in.

[17:47] Marsha: Honey. I don't really think it mattered to her that I came. She said good of you to come.

[17:54] Mandy: Yeah, but it seemed a bit disingenuous. Besides, I can't eat anything from our toros. That would totally trigger my IBS. I need to focus on my own emotional and physical well-being at the moment.

[18:05] Marsha: Yeah, I'm gonna call a Uber.

[18:07] Mandy: Okay, well, thanks for accompanying me. I appreciate it. See you soon.

[18:11] Marsha: You're not gonna wait with me?

[18:15] Mandy: I need to get back in there.

[18:18] Marsha: Oh, I feel your fourth chakra is out of alignment.

[18:23] Mandy: I'm attack on that while we're waiting.

[18:25] Marsha: I don't really have time to achieve inner fucking peace right now.

[18:32] Mandy hugs her and exits, leaving Marsha alone on stage. She sits for a moment, takes out her phone to dial an Uber, puts the box of tissues in her purse. She crosses, finds another box, puts that in her bag too. She picks up the pamphlets, but doesn't think those are worth stealing. She walks to the front door. Blackout.

[18:56] Scene two. Marsha's studio apartment in Brooklyn. All we need to see is a big armchair and some clutter. Maybe a dusty spiritual affirmation poster hanging somewhere. Lots of papers. She's a terrible housekeeper. Marsha is unable to focus. She checks the time on her phone and puts it down. She picks it up and makes a call.

[19:21] Marsha: Hey, Mandy! Just want to let you know I got home okay. I ran into Steve smoking a cigarette outside the church.

[19:28] Mandy: You told me he quit.

[19:30] Marsha: Anyway, he made a big deal about me taking an Uber for some reason. Can't he see how difficult it is for me to get around? So what if it's only six blocks? It's my money to waste. Where are you anyway? Are you still at Hilary's?

[19:44] Mandy: Well, call me back, please. Uh, I'm still a little upset. I mean, not at you per se, but oh, just call me.

[19:54] She hangs up the phone and sits for a moment. She digs in her bag, pulls out the boxes of tissues and the hand soap that also must have been in the bathroom. She then positions herself in her chair and begins to do tapping therapy on herself.

[20:10] Marsha: I know and acknowledge that I take things personally. I deeply and completely accept myself and my behaviors. I am stronger than I realize.

[20:22] Marsha stops. She feels a breeze. She checks and sees that the window is open, so she shuts the window.

[20:31] Marsha: I am open to the challenges that surround me. I am open to the challenges that surround me. I am open to the challenges that surround me.

[20:41] Marsha: I am wanted. I am wanted. I am wanted.

[20:47] Marsha feels the breeze again.

[20:53] Marsha: I speak my truth. I deeply and completely accept myself.

[20:59] Marsha hears a sound from upstairs. She takes out the vote of candles from the church and places them in front of her.

[21:07] Marsha: I deeply and completely accept myself and my ability to be open. I deeply and completely accept myself and my ability to be open.

[21:21] Marsha: Yes. I am here. I am open to receive.

[21:28] Marsha: But who is this? Really? Oh, thank you! Thank you for coming up! I hoped you might. I just had to ask. I get so many visitors. Welcome! And I'm glad you chose me.

[21:46] Marsha: Where are you?

[21:49] Marsha: Ah. Are you okay? Uh, of course. Yes. Yes. I feel your cane. I feel the wheels on your chest. I am removing that pain. There is no more pain.

[22:10] Marsha: Do you need something? Some light in your darkness.

[22:17] Marsha: Got it. I will tell her. I promise.

[22:23] Marsha: Oh, must you? I see. Well, do come again any time. I am open. Goodbye.

[22:35] Marsha sits for a moment. This experience has given her some contentment. She begins tapping on herself again.

[22:43] Marsha: I am open to the challenges that confront me. I am powerful. You'll love me. I am open to any challenges that confront me.

[22:54] Lights fade on Marsha, cross fade to a stylized representation of Hilary's house. It is late. The guests have all left. A table with too much uneaten food. Hilary is throwing the paper cups and napkins into a plastic bag.

[23:09] Hilary: Thank God. That's the last of them. I thought they'd never leave. Can I scream now?

[23:17] Mandy: Go for it.

[23:26] Hilary: Did that help?

[23:28] Mandy: We need another place for it. I need another Xanax.

[23:33] Hilary: How many of you have?

[23:35] Mandy: Not enough, clearly.

[23:38] Hilary: Oh, for God's sake, Mandy. My doctor prescribed them for me. They're waiting for me at the pharmacy. I'm picking them up tomorrow.

[23:45] Mandy: Yeah.

[23:48] Hilary: Last one.

[23:49] Mandy: Skips of the pillow.

[23:50] Hilary walks over to the table, takes a glass of water, and stares at all the food.

[24:02] Hilary: Who would ever eat this much lasagna?

[24:05] Mandy: Garfield.

[24:09] Hilary: I'll wrap it up. Funeral food. Three casseroles and potato salad. What's with all the potato salad?

[24:18] Mandy: You know, keep you'll be inundated with visitors for the next few days.

[24:22] Hilary: Well, bring more stuff. Everybody brings stuff. Like death makes you suddenly want two and a casserole.

[24:29] Mandy: Frank will eat this, right?

[24:31] Hilary: Oh, Frank will eat anything. But that's all. We're taking this and this. Cauliflowering peas makes it sick to look at it.

[24:43] Mandy: Maybe you should lie down.

[24:44] Hilary: It's been a hell of a day.

[24:47] Hilary: I feel like that tree across the street that was hit by lightning. Dead. Still standing. Let me help you take up the slack. Are there calls to make, dishes to wash? There's no reason you should handle this all on your own.

[25:04] Mandy: I don't handle things. If I don't have control over something, I will really fall apart. You saw that already. This is better for everyone. Should I go? The meds will kick in.

[25:18] Hilary: No, no, please stay. I'm not used to an empty house.

[25:26] Mandy: Sure. As long as you need me.

[25:33] Hilary: Steve is a mess.

[25:35] Mandy: Of course he is. I should be nicer to him.

[25:42] Hilary: They chatted that morning on the phone. But he hadn't seen her in days. She was gone in an instant. By the time he got to the hospital, they had cleaned her up. That was his last image of her.

[26:05] Mandy: Why not?

[26:10] Hilary: I can't throw out the clothes I was wearing. Her blood is on my blood was literally on my hands, and I didn't want to wash them, but they paid me.

[26:24] Mandy: In the hospital.

[26:27] Hilary: I think I can still smell the rust under my fingernails. That's what Oxda's blood smells like. It doesn't smell like Katya.

[26:43] Mandy: I can't even back in the house. Did you know? Dust is 90% skin particles. And I wonder how much of that is Katya.

[26:58] Hilary: I know it's a cliché thing to say. But she's always with you.

[27:04] Mandy: I know that. We bury the body, but we never bury the person. She's gonna be with me every minute of the day. Just not here. I want her body here next to mine.

[27:25] Hilary: After Steve left, Katya kept crawling into my bed to sleep. She thought I might be lovely. Katya was like a little space here. Pillow still smells like her. Sometimes I just lay there and spread it in.

[27:50] Mandy: I know nothing will ever make this okay, but you were here for me when I needed someone. I want to do the same for you. I just don't know how listening helps.

[28:02] Hilary: Not being afraid to say Katya's name in my presence. People actually said I'm supposed to be thankful for the time I had. I'm supposed to be grateful. People suck.

[28:14] Mandy: I was grateful. I was grateful for every moment I had with her, but I was robbed. Unlike her grandparents, I don't think this is God's will or my punishment for divorcing their son.

[28:27] Hilary: No. Did they really say that?

[28:30] Mandy: Well, not to my face, but I feel it. I feel the blame. Neglectful parent. Why was I near that deli anyway? Why didn't I buy her Velcro shoes? If Steve had picked her up in the car. Don't they realize I'm asking, beating myself up with those same questions. I probably always will.

[28:54] Hilary: This should have would have got a sketch every time. I don't want to compare my experience. Losing Phil is rough. And you kinda lost him twice.

[29:08] Mandy: I didn't even like Phil that last year. It wasn't like losing a slice of my soul, but he was Olivia's dad.

[29:20] Hilary: Yeah. He was.

[29:28] Mandy: That man was hell bent on destroying himself. You did the right thing leaving when you did. We are sadly members of a club we never thought we'd be in.

[29:39] Hilary: No. We're not in the same slot. My heart breaks.

[29:46] Mandy: Pretty cool. I can't possibly fathom the depth of your heartache. I just know I want you in our lives always. I want you to be on the scope.

[30:02] Hilary: I know everything changes from this point on, but me, you will hold on. They say the cure for grief is dreaming. I am just so tired.

[30:15] Mandy: Goodly down. I'll finish up.

[30:18] Hilary: Oh, I can't sleep. The nights are the worst. I turn on her old baby monitor and lie awake listening for her sound and the static. Sometimes I think.

[30:36] Mandy: But there's nothing. Her room is empty. Her laughter would fill the whole house. Her smile lit up a room. How can I live in this darkness?

[30:57] Hilary: We just ask. That makeshift memorial site. Is that my responsibility? Why do people leave bunches of flowers wrapped in cellophane anyway? It's like a fucking Adams family shrine after a couple of days. Those bears. Hundreds of stuffed bears. I mean, what if it rains?

[31:21] Mandy: You just take care of yourself. I have no idea what it's like to not have someone to take care of.

[31:28] Hilary: We'll figure it out. It's about giving to yourself as if you were the other person. The nurses gave me a lock of hair. For having her fingerprints and printed and pewter. Makes a beautiful pendant.

[31:44] Mandy: Someone showed me a website where they make these gorgeous glass orbs with a teaspoon of ashes. Things I will have. But all I really want is to hug her once more. Feel her breath on my neck.

[32:04] Hilary: Will you take pie home? Peach. Katya's favorite.

[32:10] Mandy: Or I could get a couple of forks and we can just feed it here. Shh. When did you last eat?

[32:18] Hilary: I can't.

[32:22] Mandy: There is always room for pie. Isn't that something Katya would say?

[32:33] Hilary: It is. Give me your fork.

[32:37] Mandy: We bring the pie and two forks over to the couch. Takatya!

[32:42] Hilary: Takatya.

[32:44] Mandy: They dig in. It's delicious. Hilary begins to weep silently while eating the pie. Mandy puts down her fork and just sits with her.

[32:56] Hilary: Night spade. Scene three. Outside a mother's against drunk driving rally.

[33:05] Mandy: Oh god, I don't think I'm ready. It's too soon.

[33:09] Hilary: You got this. I'm going to be right here.

[33:15] Mandy: I'm here for my daughter, Katya, who was killed last month by a drunk driver. But I'm also here for your daughters and sons. Your friends, parents, loved ones. This is a crime that is 100% preventable.

[33:35] Hilary: Every 51 minutes, a life is taken by a drunk driver. This year alone, we have had over 300,000 incidents of drunk driving.

[33:46] Mandy: This is Katya. She was eight years old. Beautiful picture. I have beautiful memories. But like the song says, you can't put your arm around a memory. What you can do is not drink and drive.

[34:07] Hilary: Be safe out there, people. The life you could save could have been hers. Or his. Or yours. Thank you.

[34:18] Audience: *applause*

[34:18] Hilary: They all applaud for the speech. Hillary leaves the podium and exits to talk to some people.

[34:24] Marsha: Mandy. Mandy. My God, what are you doing? I've been calling you for days.

[34:32] Mandy: Sorry, crazy mic. Great to see you, but anybody's expecting me to be. I've got to talk to her.

[34:41] Marsha: What? About what?

[34:43] Mandy: Just something incredible, that's all. I left her like five Facebook messages. Why didn't she call me back?

[34:49] Marsha: Why didn't you? Hillary's page is overrun with messages and condolences. I've been writing interference for her.

[34:57] Mandy: I am not interference. I don't know why you all seem to be avoiding me. I have wonderful news.

[35:04] Marsha: I can sing.

[35:06] Mandy: What's up.

[35:07] Marsha: I've communicated with Katya.

[35:11] Mandy: Great. Who's Katya?

[35:15] Marsha: Katya. King the Spirit is using my physical being to express her needs.

[35:20] Mandy: Katya. Hillary's daughter is named Katya.

[35:24] Marsha: Oh, sorry. Katya. She was young. Did she have a speech impediment?

[35:29] Mandy: No. Well, sometimes the vibrations are strong and they muffle the sound, but it was her. Absolutely. She came to me right after the funeral. I had to be sure it wasn't another soul using Katya as a conduit.

[35:42] Marsha: Uh sorry, Katya as a conduit. I've had a few cases of mistaken identity. One night I spent hours talking to Ed G. Robinson. We talked to old Hollywood gangsters and bootlegging.

[35:55] Mandy: But he kept trying to switch the topic to art, and I finally realized it wasn't Edward G. Robinson I had conjured, it was Mrs. Robinson.

[36:03] Marsha: She had a very deep voice. Mrs. Robinson. From the graduate.

[36:09] Mandy: Uh, she's fictional. You know that, right?

[36:13] Marsha: Mrs. Robinson, our art teacher! She loved old movies. She died?

[36:19] Mandy: I thought she retired to Florida, though.

[36:21] Marsha: Thought same thing. She got drowned in a hot tub, she said. Too many Mai Tais. She passed out and slipped under the water, and they found her when the tub started emitting these horrible gases. Her body imploded to twice its size. Mrs. Robinson was so very embarrassed.

[36:41] Mandy: I mean, you know she always prided herself on her big job. I just can't do this right now. Hillary's had a really bad month, and it hasn't actually been a peekwalk for me either.

[36:50] Marsha: You're lucky I'm here then. I can feel the imbalance in your third chakra. I see a lot of yellow.

[36:57] Mandy: Oh, maybe you're standing too close to a quarter body.

[37:01] Marsha: Now I know you don't take my work seriously. This is what I do, and I'm really good at it.

[37:07] Hilary: Have you never had an experience in your life that had no earthly explanation?

[37:12] Mandy: No, I haven't. Actually. But if I did, you'd be the first one I'd tell.

[37:19] Marsha: I have to get over there. This is Hilary's first time and try to. Let's go.

[37:25] Mandy: I can see they're very excited. And a huge am! Katya, Katie came to me. Her essence is coursing through my veins. I have more energy than I've had in years.

[37:39] Mandy: Are you sure you've not been pharmaceutically enhanced?

[37:47] Marsha: Are you in a different body episode?

[37:50] Mandy: God, Mandy, I am fine. I am better than fine. You never believe me. This is an honest to goodness exchange of energies, a breach of consciousness between the spirit and the body.

[38:04] Marsha: You're not gonna let me talk to her.

[38:07] Mandy: I don't think Hilary is in a place to see or hear this right now. You know, if the tables were turned and I had a friend offering health, you could bet that I wouldn't stand in the way.

[38:17] Marsha: Uh maybe Hilary's more open than you think. Maybe she's looking for signs and is afraid to say anything to you because you are so closed off to the whole idea.

[38:26] Mandy: I know I can help her feel better. Release her anger. Anger stays in your body, it poisons you. Anger goes directly to your pancreas. I saw black spots. When the third chakra is out of balance, we feel out of control.

[38:42] Marsha: The whole world is out of control. I had to explain to my daughter that her best friend can never come over to play again. I have to watch my best friend. Uh sorry. My other best friend. Trying to get through her day without losing her mind.

[38:59] Mandy: I am trying to be here for you, so it really hurts to be put on a shelf while you deal with your other best friend. I have feelings too, you know. I am sorry that the death of a little girl that Olivia and I thought of as family has left you feeling so alone and isolated.

[39:16] Marsha: I didn't ask for Katya's essence to come forth. I didn't expect your thanks, but I was expecting some consideration.

[39:24] Mandy: I'll think about it. You know I hate being in the middle of things.

[39:31] Marsha: I have conclusive proof of the existence of a soul. What is better than that? Please, Mandy, if you value our friendship.

[39:41] Mandy: Ah, fine. I wouldn't get my hopes up, but if Hilary is receptive, I'll connect you. Is that fair?

[39:48] Marsha: You can be so judgy. I know she's your best friend.

[39:52] Mandy: Oh, let's not go there. Hilary and I raised our kids together. She was there for me when Phil died. I was on my 14th day silent meditation retreat. I didn't even know until everything was over.

[40:03] Marsha: I know. I'm just saying, I will do this. I'm uncomfortable with the whole thing. But fine. Whatever you say, I'll do. Just please let me get back to Hilary before it defeats.

[40:15] Mandy: I think I can approach her in a non-threatening way. I am a very gentle and sensitive person, you know. And I won't charge her. I usually get 200 an hour, but since we're all friends.

[40:26] Marsha: Uh no, no, I got it. Thanks, Mandy. I knew I could count on you. Okay. But make it soon. Time is of the essence.

[40:33] Mandy: Oh, I promise. You'll be the third to know.

[40:37] Marsha: Oh, Captain will be so relieved. Walk me to the train station. Easy get it down there.

[40:42] Mandy: Sure. Let me just text Hilary.

[40:47] Mandy: Okay. Good to go. Can you leave your sign? We're gonna look like the world's shortest parade.

[40:54] Mandy: *laughs* She disposes of her sign and takes Marsha's arm and they start walking.

[41:00] Jay Michaels: End of selection.

[41:14] Jay Michaels: Oh, real near slapper. I guess I'm supposed to talk now, right, Jay?

[41:25] Jay Michaels: That would be nice. Okay. So I write a lot about grief and loss and death and movies. That's my jam because I was how I was brought up. I didn't have a TV until I was a teenager. I really haven't met anyone that hasn't experienced some form of grief and loss, so that seems to be where I write.

[41:48] Bambi Everson: This particular play, I guess it was my first er play, which is that play that's inside of you that just has to come out of you. And it happened, a bunch of things happened. You know, my friend's older daughter was killed by a junk driver. I lost a student that I adored more than anything to a terrible, horrible disease. And um, Ruthie Ann Miles was crossing the street with her little baby and her young child and was hit by a car.

[42:19] Bambi Everson: So all those things culminated, and I just felt like I had to write about it. Also, I really, really wanted to write for women of a certain age, because we are underrepresented, and there aren't a lot of plays just for women. So that was another thing that just kind of had to come out of me at the time.

[42:44] Bambi Everson: Do I have anything that I actually really oh yes, when you're writing, when I wrote this play, and most writers, when they're writing about something that's true, that they don't offend people. And that's kind of the hard part for me because I have friends that say wonderful things to me and hard things to me, and I guess that's the risk that they take being my friend is that it's going to wind up someplace. And in this case it did.

[43:20] Bambi Everson: I was really, really trying to honor my friend, one who is here, one who is not here, thankfully, because she wanted me to throw out the play, and to honor and to honor victims and survivors of drunk drivers. It was an issue that was really important to me because I saw my friend in pain, and the worst thing Stephen King used to say, What is the scariest thing in the world? And he said something happening to my children, and I feel that as well. And the worst thing in the world is seeing somebody that you love in pain and feeling helpless. So that's what I tried to get across in this play.

[44:07] Bambi Everson: Most of my plays have death and murder, but most of them are funnier. So my process, all right, I was gonna tell you about my process. There's two things that I do. One is something that I learned in performing arts high school, where they made us write biographies. I don't know if you guys had to do this, write biographies of your character. So I try to do that. I try to take each character and then journal as that character to try to get into their head space. So that's one thing that I do.

[44:43] Bambi Everson: I write everything longhand because apparently it's supposed to help with your fluidity of thought. I don't sit in the typewriter, I don't give myself 10 minutes like Stephen King has to write 10 pages every day. I don't do that. I write a lot on the subway because there's a built-in deadline. I have until I get to the theater to write this scene. And so that tends to work.

[45:09] Bambi Everson: The other exercise that I do that I recommend for all my writing friends is this crazy thing called the what if circle scribble. So in my other play, Thin Man, for each character, I wrote a what if somebody had a motivation to kill the guy? So I wrote that in the middle of the circle, and then I kept saying, Oh, Peter might feel resentful of Yekat's treatment of him and not wanting to be belittled by him, and then he might really want to just get Anya, and then this might happen, and so I just circle around until I've made a terrible mess on the paper. But it does help me come up with ideas, and I do that with absolutely every character. What if this person was the murderer? What if that person was the murderer? And often I changed my mind in the middle.

[46:02] Bambi Everson: So there's that. And my inspirations for this play are actually here in the audience. My dear friend Jane is in the back. She's the mother of Leonora and Stephen Politok, who's the father of my dear Anna, who I miss every day, and I feel that she's a muse, and I hear her laugh every time I try to do anything. Her laugh was the best. It was a big guttural laugh. It was just gonna fill the room. And I have pictures of her, and so she was my muse, and I just I miss her, and I love Michaels Jane so much, and that she came here and sat through this play twice, and so it's quite a coup for her.

[46:48] Bambi Everson: So now I'll open it up to you, lovely people. Anyone have any questions?

[46:52] Audience: Yes, yes, ma'am.

[46:55] Audience: I've seen several now, and it seems what you can do so well, capture utter pain and grief and have it funny at the same time. Her character is a oops, and then your exchanges, there's a lot of humor, you know, high into the back forth and grief.

[47:13] Audience: I have never saying Berg Express. Unspeakable creeping from model. Yeah, so I you're funny. You're just keeping your pain.

[47:25] Bambi Everson: Well, what is pain for if you can't laugh at it? You could capture culture. Really special.

[47:32] Bambi Everson: Well, thank you. Thank you. So it kind of makes sense because I was I was going to ask the question, but you somewhat answered it. I have a dear friend who just recently lost his wife. And anything he's written on Facebook or whatever about it, obviously it comes from his pain, his depth of pain. What you have here is of equal depth.

[47:56] Audience: So when you talked about your own experiences, that makes sense that you're dealing with that. You have a lot of spiritual things and murder in your work, all the fun things. And as a lover of horror movies, I ask this do you find that helps make it funny and digestible? If it's just talking about people's pain, we're afraid to laugh. But if all of a sudden, well, tapping someone's head, they're getting a spirit voice. Does it allow us the catharsis of laughter to kill someone? Does it help make us laugh?

[48:28] Bambi Everson: Um, well, I'm British. Brits love a good ghost story. And my aunts both had one, and my father had one of a head bopping down some stairs like a bowling ball that I had in the play, but I took it out because it wasn't really necessary for the plot. But I read this play called This Flat Earth by Lindsay Farantino, and it was about a school shooting and the survivors of a school shooting, and it's a devastating play, but I laughed about every minute and a half, and it was eye-opening to me because I realized that if you don't laugh, if something doesn't come out of you and you laugh communally with other people, that the pain is just gonna tear you apart. I mean, it was just and that play really sensed it for me that there has to, you have to have a relief for a minute so the audience can have a collective, okay, you know, a moment. They're on the right track because Shakespeare wrote The Gravedigger, The Porter, and Thurst. For that very reason.

[49:30] Jay Michaels: Are there any other questions?

[49:32] Audience: What are you working on now?

[49:35] Bambi Everson: A play called Strangers on the A-Train, uh based on uh a Hitchcock and John Spano is my detective because just look at him. But I did that, and I got some good feedback from pals, and uh I'm gonna try to submit it. Uh and then there's the thing with my ideas is like ideas are like fireflies, and you have to like catch them and put them in a jar. But once the fireflies are in the jar, you kind of have to feed them and nurture them. So what I have now is kind of a big jar of dead fireflies. I have to go back out in the country and like collect a few more and then nurture them. Because I have some pieces that I really want to work on one with my friend Nancy back there that uh was a dying firefly that I want to nurture and bring back to life.

So I got a few in my bucket. This this was beautiful and gorgeous, and I had to step away a couple of times, or I was gonna cry at the end. Um I wanted to ask when you're writing something like that, and and I'm a writer too, and one of my last plays deals with like death and how different people process it and putting them along the same room together. Um what do you do when you have to like delve into the really especially if you're pulling from real life when you're delving into some of those really really difficult things that that I was able to go, oh I'm at work, I should just step away and I'll come back like what would you know? You've been step away from it for so long, but eventually you have to put the words down.

[51:21] Bambi Everson: Yeah, I mean, sadly, I've gone through some shit in the last few days and I've been in very, very dark places, and every time I've been in a really dark place, my dear friend always says, write it, right? You know, I you know, I don't want to say vomit it out, but that's just kind of what you do. You cut your, you slit your wrist, you bleed, you vomit, um, and you write it out, and then I go watch thin man movies, you know, because you have to go sit and you watch a film noir, you watch when Mark pushing somebody down the stairs. You know, and I feel better.

[51:52] Audience: You feel she wrote exactly.

[51:57] Bambi Everson: So I mean, I do need I do need movies. Movies is my is my comfort food, and um and grieving, you know, you know, you just I guess you just have to go through the grief to get out the other end, but there doesn't seem to ever be quite the end of the tunnel this because somebody's gonna die.

[52:21] Audience: Exactly.

[52:23] Audience: Other questions.

[52:25] Audience: I have one actually for the actresses. Firstly, you were absolutely superb.

[52:36] Audience: Okay. Author been through it, the whole works, wrote it, Stephen King, we got it. How did you in this short period of time find because I saw you were genuinely cheerful, the energy raised and dipped. How did you muster up these characters? How did you feel this grief in such a short period of time?

[53:02] Actress: I wish I had an eloquent answer. I totally wish I did. But it's the script, you know, it's the it's the script, it's the character, the circumstances. Um yeah. Yeah, these women's, but yeah, yeah, it was really easy to work with. It's well written, but uh, it's all there. Um, then from my own experiences and grief. Because something that I believe about when someone dies, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who thinks this, is that you basically never stop grieving, right? You get used to grieving. It's that makes sense. You incorporate it, you incorporate their death into your life, and so it's always uh you're always missing them, but you you get used to it.

[53:56] Actress: So yeah, so the words you were able to tap into your own history, if you will, through the words of the point.

[54:03] Actress: Yes, and Marcia, I guess, had the the least amount of surface grief, I would say. Um but what you said, I I always feel because I I've had a lot of loss early on in my life and throughout. Um grieving, uh grief doesn't get better, it just gets different. Is what I like to explain to people who come to me, friends and other family who aren't used to losses. And for this, I kind of was like, oh, I can relate to certain things and in Marsh's past, possibly. But when John, you had mentioned hope. I try to put a bit of hope in every every role that I do. Like, where is the hope for her? And just to bring some believing in hope. Hopefully, uh helps the other characters, even though she's is she kooky or is she I mean she's a little poopy, but is she the real deal, or is she nutty?

But I think between you know grief gets different, and adding hope to that is kind of how I dove into this in the short time that we all three who couldn't figure out eloquent dancing, she gave ladies and gentlemen.

[55:26] Audience: You all have your copy of the book, and there's the author, from what I understand. She she's literate. So longhand will be holding that long hand, the whole point. She leaves her back, so turn your copy into a collector's item and get an off wrap. Or devalue it by having these first.

[55:48] Audience: I'm just gonna also say thank you. Thank you, Jake.

[55:51] Audience: Yeah, yeah, so you can see there's a lot of layers going on there.

[56:03] Jay Michaels: Yeah, I something I really loved also is that she really gave us a playwrighting lesson.

[56:08] Audience: Yeah.

[56:08] Jay Michaels: She spent a lot of time talking about her process, how she picks her projects. It was really interesting to see how another writer works.

[56:16] Audience: Yes.

[56:16] Jay Michaels: To see where the similarities lie. And you go, Oh, yeah, me too. And where you go, oh, you do that. And sometimes sometimes you think I could never work that way.

[56:26] Audience: Yeah.

[56:26] Jay Michaels: And sometimes you go, I gotta try that. That's how I was. As I was listening, I just remember her talking about that process. For me, I was like, that's not me. But then also thinking like, but what if it is me?

[56:36] Audience: Yeah.

[56:37] Jay Michaels: What if that's how I write my next project? Process is a means to an end.

[56:42] Audience: Yeah.

[56:42] Jay Michaels: So we can try all sorts of different things. And if it's not working for us, okay, we go back to something else.

[56:47] Audience: Yeah, and it's worked for her. She has quite the shelf of work.

[56:50] Jay Michaels: Yeah, I can't even go through her her whole body of stuff. She has a ton of stuff on our shelves.

[56:54] Audience: Yes.

[56:55] Jay Michaels: Also, though, speaking of a large body of work.

[56:58] Audience: Yeah.

[56:58] Jay Michaels: I uh have been able to see a lot of shows recently. And a couple weeks ago, I went to a performance called The Ides of March.

[57:07] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Oh, the the 10th annual Ides of March extravaganza.

[57:10] Jay Michaels: Oh my God. I had so much fun.

[57:12] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I'm so glad.

[57:13] Jay Michaels: I have I have not been able to see anything because I've been working on the 10th annual Ides of March extravaganza. It was the wackiest show. I felt like I was in a uh fantasy center and it was just delightful. I mean, I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

[57:29] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Oh, of course. I mean, I know yours and Paul's work, but there's also songs I didn't know, which is a nice delight.

[57:36] Jay Michaels: There's a number of new things, yeah.

[57:37] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, and the immersive feel of the project of having actors pop up from tables around me, never knowing who's going to sing.

[57:45] Jay Michaels: Yeah.

[57:45] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah. There were times when I'm like, am I singing? Should I have a sheet? Should I know? It was really funny. The song that I hope eventually people just know the lyrics to and do decide to start singing along. Is uh the official title is is A I T A.

[58:04] Jay Michaels: Oh, I know exactly which one that is. Any Reddit users out there will know what we do during that song. And that that is one where based on the audience votes, it might be different lyrics.

[58:14] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Right.

[58:15] Jay Michaels: So hopefully we get to a point where people just know. And once we do the voting process, everyone's ready to sing along.

[58:22] Mark-Eugene Garcia: I remember it from the night.

[58:25] Jay Michaels: Yeah, we we introduced that song in the ninth annual. And having fun then. And so I was excited for it. I still have the uh the uh oh your prodd.

[58:34] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, I didn't I didn't want to say paddle, but it's a paddle.

[58:36] Jay Michaels: It's like a uh an auction paddle.

[58:38] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yes, exactly. I still have my auction paddle from that that says Y T A on one side and NTA on the other, so that we can do a quick voting. I I think it's a brilliant game, and it was a real fun moment, but it was full of surprises the whole night, and it was very touching. And I got to see your family, yes, and I got to see various friends. I was happy to see other co-workers there too at our table and other guests of the store, other writers I happened to see there. Uh I don't know if you know. It's such a big Avan Clift was there. He wrote The Castle Screen. He was sitting right in front of me, and I'm like, is that no? And then I realized afterwards that yeah, he was yeah, I didn't get to meet him.

[59:18] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Bringing people together.

[59:19] Jay Michaels: It's a I always do.

[59:21] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, we are in the process. We we filmed it with four cameras. Yeah, and we're in the process of doing a full edit of the entire show. So I'll let everyone know when when and where it's accessible. You need to see this. It was so much fun.

[59:34] Audience: Any any IDs.

[59:35] Audience: I've been to quite a few IDs.

[59:37] Audience: Ideses.

[59:38] Audience: Ideses, yeah.

[59:39] Audience: IDZs, I don't know.

[59:40] Jay Michaels: If you don't want to say the full Ides of March extravaganzas, extravaganzae, I don't even know.

[59:46] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[59:46] Jay Michaels: But speaking of musical theater composers.

[59:48] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Right.

[59:49] Jay Michaels: And and a musical theater composer who was featured in the Ides of March extravaganza. We had we had a lot of video tributes, and we a lot of them were from past performers who couldn't be there this year. But we also reached out to some of our Broadway friends to ask them to say a few words. And Joe Iconis was nice enough to be a part of it.

[1:00:11] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, and Joe Iconis is very nice.

[1:00:13] Jay Michaels: He was also nice enough to be part of an event here.

[1:00:15] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[1:00:16] Jay Michaels: Uh, which you dear listeners will get to hear next week. Uh next week's podcast will be the event that Joe Iconis did here at the bookstore for the release of his vinyl album album.

[1:00:30] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yes.

[1:00:31] Jay Michaels: And it was a lot of surprises.

[1:00:33] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yes.

[1:00:33] Jay Michaels: And it was so much fun. Talk about people popping up out of nowhere. It was so much fun to see the audience's reactions to all the surprises that happened. And what you're gonna get next week is part interview. I got to I got to be always fun. He's just a fun guy to talk to.

[1:00:50] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[1:00:51] Jay Michaels: And part Joe Iconis concert. He left with all of us feeling like we were friends.

[1:00:56] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah.

[1:00:56] Jay Michaels: Afterwards. In fact, we all went out afterwards. It was a really, really cool night. You know, it's it's Joe Iconis and family, and that that definitely is what you feel like.

[1:01:05] Mark-Eugene Garcia: Yeah, felt like family.

[1:01:07] Jay Michaels: And you will too when you listen to the event next week. So don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Drama Book Show Podcast to see images from the show and to see what's coming up next. Also, follow our eventbrite by clicking events at dramabookshop.com to find out how to be part of our live audience. And remember that all of the books that we talked about can be found at the drama bookshop. And so can we. So we will see you at the bookshop.