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[0:00] Mo Brady: You're listening to Hurt and Healing from The Ensemblist, the only podcast that shows Broadway from the inside out. I'm Mo Brady.

[0:21] Mo Brady: As performers, our bodies are our instruments. We use our physical beings to create sounds, embody characters, and tell stories. So when that physical instrument is suffering, how does that affect a performer's artistry? And what does it do to a performer's psyche when they aren't able to work to the best of their abilities?

[0:56] Mo Brady: Taurean Everett made a splash last season in the ensemble of The Cher Show. He brought down the house as Bob Mackie's assistant wearing only a loincloth and a beaming smile. Taurean was also the lead campaign image for this year's edition of Broadway Bares. So it goes without saying that this is a guy who takes care of his body. However, that fitness was called into question when he was injured at an audition that took him out of the final weeks of The Cher Show. Here's our conversation.

[1:32] Taurean Everett: Hi. Will you introduce yourself and tell us what neighborhood of New York City you live in?

[1:47] Taurean Everett: I will. My name is Taurean Everett and I live in Washington Heights.

[1:51] Mo Brady: So what's your most recent Broadway credit?

[1:54] Taurean Everett: My most recent Broadway credit, we just finished The Cher Show. I played Bob Mackie's assistant.

[1:59] Mo Brady: I got to wear some iconic looks in the show. But you didn't finish the run of the show, right?

[2:05] Taurean Everett: I did not finish the run. I was out of the run about a month before closing.

[2:09] Mo Brady: And what happened?

[2:13] Taurean Everett: I injured myself in an audition. I went to an audition and ended up tearing my groin.

[2:23] Taurean Everett: So what happened was the adductor longus, if you try to squeeze your knees together, those muscles, you know, or you sat on an adductor machine, those muscles on my left side, it tore away from my pubic bone, as well as the lower abdomen on the most lateral side. So the furthest outside of my body, away from my belly button, that also tore away from the pubic bone.

[2:46] Mo Brady: Is this a kind of injury where you like hear a pop or feel something happen instantly?

[2:51] Taurean Everett: I felt a pop. And I remember thinking, oh, shoot, that didn't feel correct. When it happened, I did end up feeling, I guess what most people would say, a pop. It was one of those things that, you know how when you crack your knuckles, there's this moment of relief, but then you wiggle your fingers to shake out all of the excess?

[3:10] Mo Brady: Yeah.

[3:18] Taurean Everett: That's what I ended up feeling while I was dancing. I thought, this hurts. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'll worry about it later.

[3:27] Mo Brady: Sounds normal.

[3:27] Taurean Everett: It sounds normal. And it wasn't until after we'd finished the combination, and I stepped over to the side, I did what you're never supposed to do, and that was test it to test what I was feeling. And I, in a moment of a grand plie and stretching the adductor, I could not stand back up.

[3:48] Mo Brady: Oh my gosh.

[3:51] Taurean Everett: And that's when I realized that something had gone wrong.

[3:51] Mo Brady: What a weird place to realize that.

[3:57] Taurean Everett: Yeah. I don't want to say you never want to call attention to yourself, but what feels correct in those situations where we are competing for a job, when we are wanting to present ourselves in the best light and to prove I am capable, I am talented, I am the one you want for this show. I think the last thing that we ever want to do is appear weak, appear unavailable, appear difficult, or appear injured.

[4:26] Taurean Everett: And in that moment, I didn't think, oh, well, I should tell someone I should communicate this injury because the very first instinct is I didn't want to pull myself out of the running. I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. And at the same time, when something like that happens, and there's adrenaline, and you're waiting to hear if you're going to stay and sing, you're waiting to hear if they're going to ask for more. You just don't think about what is actually happening.

[5:00] Mo Brady: So you got out of the grand plie.

[5:03] Taurean Everett: I got out of the grand plie. But you stayed.

[5:03] Mo Brady: But I stayed to sing. There was no more dancing afterwards. Also, alongside that, I do feel like there is an element of I don't really know what happened. Maybe it will feel better tomorrow. Maybe it was just a weird little like ligament stretch and like it'll feel better in a couple of days.

[5:23] Mo Brady: So when did you realize that this was not just a little tweak, but more of a trauma?

[5:27] Taurean Everett: I saw a doctor about a week later.

[5:33] Mo Brady: So you danced on this for?

[5:33] Taurean Everett: Well, I didn't. I actually ended up calling out of my show that night. And then it wasn't until a week after that audition that I did go to see a doctor because I thought this isn't getting better. It actually feels like it's getting worse. And so I went to the doctor. And of course, the doctors, they tell you, oh, this is what I think it is. But as a dancer, you have an awareness about your body that no one else can really, you know, specify without MRIs, without x-rays. You know, the doctor said, oh, it feels like it's a sprain and like you maybe strained something. Here's this medication. But I will also refer you to a specialist. And it was then that I found out that the injury was far more traumatic than I realized it actually was and that the doctor realized it actually was.

[6:19] Mo Brady: Got it. So how much time passes between the audition and you realizing what the injury actually was?

[6:24] Taurean Everett: Two and a half to three weeks. From that point, there's scheduling of, oh, this is when we can do this operation or we don't have to do the operation, but you're just never going to feel the same.

[6:41] Mo Brady: So what's going on at work between the audition and actually finding out the severity of the injury?

[6:47] Taurean Everett: What was happening at work was nothing. It didn't, the injury didn't happen at work. Therefore, there's no responsibility, which I understand. So I was watching the end of my show. I was watching my show come to a close, something that I'd been a part of from day one with the lab and then the out of town and then the Broadway run. It ended up becoming more of an emotional mental struggle than it was dealing with the actual injury itself. Because during that last month, I was waiting for the operation to happen. In that it's tricky because your body does start to heal, but it never really feels the same. So I was thinking, oh, I can go back to the show. I'll go back in a week. I'll go back in two weeks. I'll go back in three weeks. And there was one point that I did attempt the show having been injured. And then I realized mid show, yo girl, you can't do this. You know, you can't do it. And you should.

[7:53] Taurean Everett: You subject yourself to further damage for this tiny moment. So you're kind of calling out on a continuing basis. There wasn't—

[8:02] Taurean Everett: Correct. The stage management team was wonderful and they checked in with me every day. Finally ended up getting a doctor's note from the doctor who says, you know what, I think this is probably the end of your run.

[8:18] Taurean Everett: Which is hard to hear, you know? It's a hard reality to face. I'm not exclusive or special in terms of being the only one who's ever experienced that, but it hits you all the same. I'm not able to complete the journey. I'm not able to do what I was hired to do. The fact that I'm not able to do what I was hired to do, but not because of something that happened at that place. Something that happened somewhere else.

[8:50] Taurean Everett: I would say, and they didn't say this to me, and I don't want this to be misunderstood, but as far as they're concerned, I could have been skydiving. And they are not responsible. But in this case, it was an audition. And so it gets tricky. And there was a part of me that thought, well, maybe the union will take care of this, or maybe the show will step in and provide some sort of support. But that was not the case. And is it anyone's fault? No. But the situation just sucks nonetheless. And I'm curious as to what steps can be taken to sort of prevent this type of thing, or to at least offer resources for people when they are injured to know what to do and to know what path to take.

[9:39] Taurean Everett: There's a point where your income, your sick days have run out.

[9:43] Taurean Everett: Correct.

[9:44] Taurean Everett: But the job is yours. You're not being fired. You're just...

[9:47] Taurean Everett: Correct. You just, if you can't come, we can't pay you.

[9:50] Taurean Everett: Correct. Well, and that's exactly it. And that's the frustrating part is that I think, oh, I was able to do my show. I was able to do everything. I've been doing it for this long. And maybe in this particular audition, I wasn't able to do that thing. And that thing is what took me out of being able to do the thing that I can do.

[10:12] Taurean Everett: Right. You know, and so I feel like it's so frustrating because, you know, there's the emotional carriage of disappointing my teammates and...

[10:22] Mo Brady: Had you been through surgery before?

[10:24] Taurean Everett: No, it was my first time. It is a very emotional thing to have your body invaded that way. And to understand that your body cannot function in the way that it is supposed to. And there is nothing you can do about it, but do nothing.

[10:42] Mo Brady: Have they told you how long they think the recovery process will last in total?

[10:46] Taurean Everett: Yes, it is four and a half months. I am one month in. I've started physical therapy. And I think that at the end of the four and a half months, I think they're suggesting that that's when I will be released back into the wild. It's a period in time that I am looking forward to. But I also am sort of afraid or a little nervous, at least, or about re-injury and about what does this mean going forward? What does this mean as far as my bravery when I walk into a room? What am I willing to attempt? What am I not willing to attempt for a simple fear of, I will not go through this again.

[11:33] Mo Brady: If you were to go back, I'm not as interested in what you might have done differently, but just what you wish you would have known.

[11:44] Taurean Everett: I think what I wish is that it really is okay to say no. And I wish that I had allowed myself that. It's just tricky because I feel like we want the job. Like I said before, we want the job. We want to present ourselves in the best light possible. But you can't do everything. No one person can do everything. Had I had the choice to say, this might hurt me, so do it or don't. I wish that I had allowed myself to just say, that's okay. I'm going to pass. And that is okay. That's what I wish that I had known is that I am allowed to do that.

[12:30] Taurean Everett: And that isn't anything that someone else is going to tell me. That's something that I have to be okay with for myself. Maybe it takes a traumatic experience to come to that. And I feel like that's where I am. And I think if I could communicate anything to anyone, it's just there is power in the word no. There's power in the word no in that no one who was there at the audition, they're not thinking about me. While I sit alone with this, I do feel that had I just given myself that respect to say, that's okay. My body doesn't want to do this, or I can't do this, or maybe I'm too old to be doing this, then I should have just allowed myself that freedom.

[13:26] Taurean Everett: Because this is an industry made of people. People have choices. And I think that we need to allow ourselves the choices. I don't want what I have to say to come across as being jaded or being upset. I just want for people to recognize that what we do in the industry is very difficult. The things that we're asked to do are very difficult. And the bar keeps getting higher and higher and higher. And at some point, we do have to face our limits. And in an industry where you have to do what it takes to get the job, but not at the sacrifice of your own physical health, because we only get the one body, you only get the one body. And so you have to do your best to protect it.

[14:22] Taurean Everett: But ultimately, I just, if I can communicate anything, it's just protect yourselves in these auditions. There's work to be done with the union, there's work to be done as far as protecting us, you know, having protection, considering that my job interview is far different than Little Miss Corporate America over here, you know, it's just different. It's a different thing. Our bodies are our companies.

[14:49] Mo Brady: Special thanks to Taurean Everett for sharing his stories with us this week. You can learn more about him and how to connect with him online by visiting our website, TheEnsemblist.com. The Ensemblist was produced today by me, Mo Brady. You can help others find out about The Ensemblist by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. We're looking for some more reviews here, guys. We're trying to get to 300. So look at that number on Apple Podcasts. If you can help us inch up to 300, we'd really appreciate it. You can also download episodes wherever you get your podcasts or at TheEnsemblist.com. And follow us on Instagram to see the latest posts from our website, where we share the stories of talented artists working in Broadway ensembles. Thanks for listening, guys. Until next time.