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[0:00] Mo Brady: You're listening to Hurt and Healing from The Ensemblist, the only podcast that shows Broadway from the inside out. I'm Mo Brady.

[0:21] Mo Brady: As performers, our bodies are our instruments. We use our physical beings to create sounds, embody characters, and tell stories. So when that physical instrument is suffering, how does that affect a performer's artistry? And what does it do to a performer's psyche when they aren't able to work to the best of their abilities?

[0:56] Mo Brady: Alicia Charles is currently twirling, gliding, and tapping her way through Agrabah as part of the ensemble of Aladdin on Broadway. Although she made her debut in the show in early 2017, she was sidelined for six months when she underwent surgery to remove uterine fibroids. How do you recover well enough to sing and dance eight shows a week when there's a giant scar healing on your abdomen? Well, here's our conversation.

[1:36] Mo Brady: Hi.

[1:45] Alicia Charles: Hello.

[1:48] Mo Brady: Would you introduce yourself and tell us what neighborhood of New York City you live in?

[1:51] Alicia Charles: My name is Alicia Charles, and I live in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.

[1:53] Mo Brady: You recently had surgery.

[1:55] Alicia Charles: I did.

[1:55] Mo Brady: What was the surgery?

[1:58] Alicia Charles: So I had a myomectomy.

[1:58] Mo Brady: What is a myomectomy?

[2:05] Alicia Charles: A myomectomy is a surgical procedure where they remove uterine fibroids, and fibroids are growths, and typically they are non-cancerous, and they're usually in or around the uterus, and the surgery just removes them. And the goal of the surgery is to leave the uterus intact and just remove the fibroids.

[2:21] Mo Brady: Got it. So there's like a possibility of having children in the future.

[2:24] Alicia Charles: Exactly. That's the goal of it.

[2:26] Mo Brady: That sounds really complicated.

[2:26] Alicia Charles: Yes.

[2:32] Mo Brady: Had you been familiar with fibroids?

[2:32] Alicia Charles: So I first heard about fibroids about eight years ago. I was in my yearly visit to the gynecologist, and he was like, I see a couple little growths here, and they appear to be fibroids. And that's the first time I had ever heard that. And he said, they're very common, and they're really small, so you don't really have to worry about them. So I just went about my life, and then about four years later, I had changed doctors by then, and I was seeing a new gynecologist, and she noticed them as well. And by then, they had kind of grown to like medium size, and now I had four of them. And she was like, well, at this point, I'll just monitor them. You possibly might have to have surgery, but we're not sure yet.

They could just stay the same, and it would be fine. Cut to 2017, the year that everything happened at once for me. I got engaged. We were planning our wedding, and then I booked my Broadway debut in Aladdin. So I was extremely busy. I went for my yearly checkup. I was hoping that everything was still at bay, like everything was fine. But to my surprise, they had doubled in size.

[3:37] Mo Brady: Oh, gosh.

[3:38] Alicia Charles: And my largest one was 10 centimeters, which is like the size of a grapefruit. So now she was saying, you will definitely need to have surgery, especially if you want to have children.

[3:50] Mo Brady: The size of a grapefruit?

[3:51] Alicia Charles: Yes.

[3:52] Mo Brady: Oh, my God.

[3:53] Alicia Charles: And I had no idea like how they were fitting inside of me.

[3:55] Mo Brady: Yeah. So that makes a lot of sense how it was impacting how you were performing, right?

[4:00] Alicia Charles: Yes. Yeah, at that point, it was.

[4:03] Mo Brady: How so? You could feel them?

[4:05] Alicia Charles: I had like this backache, and at first, I thought it was the choreography in the show because we do a lot of backbends. So initially, I just started doing like PT twice a week and acupuncture, and it would kind of improve, but it never went away. And I was like having to take Advil to get through the week. And I just thought that was what I had to do to get through the show. But it turns out it was the fibroids that were impacting me. And I also had like pelvic pain and like pressure in my stomach, especially when I would jump. So like tapping really affected me.

[4:40] Mo Brady: Oh, yeah. This doctor's appointment was when?

[4:43] Alicia Charles: It was in the spring.

[4:46] Mo Brady: And then how long was it between being diagnosed and having the surgery?

[4:51] Alicia Charles: It was about a year.

[4:53] Mo Brady: Oh my gosh.

[4:53] Alicia Charles: Yeah. So I guess it was 2016 that I had the doctor's appointment.

[4:58] Mo Brady: So it was concerning, but not concerning enough to schedule immediately?

[5:04] Alicia Charles: Well, I was sort of in denial. I went through the stages of grief is how I would describe it. Like at first, I was like in denial and bargaining. I was like, maybe if I change my diet, they'll go away on their own. Or if I take certain supplements, maybe they'll shrink. And then I was angry because I had just gotten my Broadway debut. Like I didn't want to take time away from it. But then...

[5:28] Mo Brady: Also, you were engaged.

[5:30] Alicia Charles: And engaged and getting married. So I was just like, this is the worst. I don't have time to get surgery right now. And I'm so scared. Because unfortunately, in my career, I haven't had a major injury. And I've never even broken a bone like as a kid or anything. So the thought of major surgery just freaked me out.

[5:48] Mo Brady: And so what turned that?

[5:51] Alicia Charles: Eventually, I just came to terms with it. And I think finding the surgeon really turned it around for me. I actually found him through a cast member at Aladdin. She had had a similar surgery, and she recommended him. So I met with him, and he was so calm and confident. So I was like, okay, he's the guy. I'm ready.

[6:13] Mo Brady: But that doesn't alleviate that you were taking time off from a show.

[6:18] Alicia Charles: Exactly.

[6:19] Mo Brady: How did you jump over that emotional hurdle?

[6:21] Alicia Charles: It was hard. I didn't want to be looked at as a problem in the company. I was really nervous about that, especially because I had just joined a year ago. But luckily, I work with the most supportive people. And as soon as I told my stage manager, she was like, okay, this is something you just have to do. And we'll get it on the calendar. It's no big deal. And all of my cast mates were very sweet. And they're like, it's going to be great. You're just going to take care of this, and then you'll be back. So I was very lucky in that regard.

[6:53] Mo Brady: So how much time did you end up taking off?

[6:55] Alicia Charles: I took off six months altogether.

[6:57] Mo Brady: Oh, my gosh.

[6:58] Alicia Charles: Yes.

[6:58] Mo Brady: That's a long time.

[7:00] Alicia Charles: Because the surgery, he had to go in through my abdominal cavity.

[7:04] Mo Brady: So I have an incision in my lower stomach.

[7:08] Mo Brady: So how much time was there between deciding that you were going to undergo the surgery and actually having it?

[7:13] Alicia Charles: It was about four months.

[7:15] Mo Brady: And you had never been in surgery?

[7:18] Alicia Charles: Never. So in typical performer fashion, I did so much research. I went to Instagram, and I typed in myomectomy. And I found like all these women who had undergone it. And I saw like, exactly what I would go through before the surgery and after and during. And I just really wanted to be prepared. It calmed me down to know exactly everything that was going to happen. And I like, ordered stuff that I would need during my recovery.

[7:45] Mo Brady: So how much of that time were you like, in bed, not really being physically active?

[7:49] Alicia Charles: I was in bed, not being physically active for about two weeks. And then in the third week, my

[8:36] Alicia Charles: How do you start rebuilding the body to be on Broadway?

[8:40] Yeah, it was a very long, slow process. First, I had to rebuild my body to just exist as an everyday person. So, I started going to the gym and just walking slowly on a treadmill. And I would build my time and my speed. My stamina was completely shot, so that was really eye-opening.

[9:06] It seems like it would be really frustrating.

[9:08] Yeah. After I started walking and doing PT exercises, slowly but surely I started feeling pretty much back to normal. It took about three months to just be a normal person.

[9:22] Got it. I hadn't danced yet. So then, I had planned my return back to Aladdin. I knew that I had to start dancing, but I was terrified.

[9:32] Yeah. I had so many fears. I didn't know if I'd be the dancer I was before. I was scared to go and take class because I didn't want to run into anyone. It might be embarrassing, you know? So, I found this class on YouTube. This ballerina created this class for people coming back from an injury.

[9:51] Oh, interesting.

[9:52] And it was a bar and a center. So, I started doing that in my apartment. At first, it kind of felt like my body didn't belong to me. I had lost the coordination, but every day I kind of got better and stronger.

[10:08] Did you end up going to class publicly?

[10:11] I did not go to class. The first thing I did was go to an audition, which in hindsight, I should have maybe gone to a class first. But I went to an audition.

[10:21] You went to a free class.

[10:22] Yeah, exactly. But I was so scared. I didn't know what was going to happen. I showed up, and two of my dear friends from the show were there, and that kind of comforted me. And I was like, guys, don't judge. This is my first time dancing.

[10:36] But I went in, and although I had trouble picking up the choreography because I had so much going through my head, and it was a long combo, of course, I took it as a victory because I got out of the house. I went. I did it. I felt okay moving, and nothing hurt. And I was able to get through the audition, and I was like, okay, I can do this.

[10:57] None of that pain that you were feeling prior to surgery?

[11:00] No, zero.

[11:01] That's crazy.

[11:02] I know. It was insane. So how close to 100% did you feel when you rejoined the company?

[11:07] I was probably at a 95%. My first week back was really tough. My stamina, of course, was like at a zero. So that first week, my body kind of went into shock, and I got a cold. So I was out for the weekend. But then the second week back, I felt a little bit better. And by the third week, I was feeling like my old self, but even better. I had zero back pain, zero pressure in my stomach, and the choreography felt easier. The whole show felt easier, and I was just in shock that I felt that way.

[11:45] I want to ask you about finances and insurance.

[11:48] Yes.

[11:49] How much of this was covered by your insurance?

[11:51] I couldn't do workers' comp because it wasn't through the show. But my insurance covered the surgery, so that was great.

[11:59] And so did you have income during those six months of recovery?

[12:03] I filed for disability, so I got a little bit of money. But thankfully, my husband was pulling in income. So, yeah, I didn't have very much coming in at that time.

[12:14] Were you nervous at all to talk about having to have surgery?

[12:17] I was. I was. Especially since I've never really had an injury before, and it's in such a delicate area. So I was very shy about it at first. But I know that talking about it will help someone else, so that's why I've decided to share it openly.

[12:38] When you started to open up about it, what was the response that you were getting from people you worked with?

[12:43] Very positive. Everyone was like, you're such a rock star. This one woman I worked with, she had no idea I had gone through anything. She was like, I had no idea. Oh my gosh, you're incredible. So I got a lot of positive feedback, and that made me feel good. And I also got feedback from people I didn't know. And they were like, thank you for opening up about this. I have my surgery scheduled, and this is making me feel so much better that you had a success story. That was great. That's why I spoke out about it.

[13:14] So tell me about singing.

[13:16] I mean, that's something that also uses your abdominals.

[13:19] Yes, and silly for me, I didn't realize that you use your lower, lower abdominals to sing. I just didn't really think about it. But my first voice lesson back, that was humbling. I had lost all my power, and I kind of didn't know how to breathe. I had lost the connection between my abdomen and my breath. So I had to kind of relearn how to sing again and how to breathe and where to place everything.

[13:49] Sounds like a lot of preparedness to get back into it.

[13:52] Yeah, I tried to be as prepared as possible. Have you learned anything in the recovery process that you think has made you a stronger performer?

[13:59] Yeah, I've definitely learned that my body is really strong. And I've learned how important the core is. And now before every show, I make sure that I have that connection with my abdominal muscles. And I make sure they're firing before I start. And that really helps me get through.

[14:21] I think that as performers, we're scared to admit that we have an injury or an issue. We don't want to be a problem in the workplace. There's a fear of losing our jobs, or it might affect our careers somehow. But in reality, it's really important to put your health and well-being first. And actually, I think it can elongate your career. The healthier you are, the better.

[14:51] Special thanks to Alicia Charles for sharing her stories with us this week. You can learn more about her and how to connect with her online by visiting our website, theensemblist.com.

[15:01] The Ensemblist was produced today by me, Mo Brady. You can help others find out about The Ensemblist by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. We're looking for some more reviews here, guys. We're trying to get to 300. So look at that number on Apple Podcasts. If you can help us inch up to 300, we'd really appreciate it. You can also download episodes wherever you get your podcasts or at theensemblist.com. And follow us on Instagram to see the latest posts from our website, where we share the stories of talented artists working in Broadway ensembles. Thanks for listening, guys. Until next time.