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[0:00] Mo Brady: You're listening to The Ensemblist, the only podcast that shows you Broadway from the inside out. Welcome, I'm Mo Brady.

[0:20] Mo Brady: Performing on Broadway comes with certain rites of passage: first costume fitting, first performance, first backstage birthday cake. But this year has brought a new rite of passage: visiting your darkened theater to clean off your dressing room station, with the prospect of being unemployed for at least a year. Here to share the story of his experience visiting the Richard Rodgers Theatre is Hamilton's Preston Mui. He joined the company in late January of this year, playing the role of George Eacker. Here to share the story of his first time back at the Rodgers in three months is Preston Mui.

[1:07] Preston Mui: I walked into the empty vessel of Richard Rodgers Theater to retrieve a pair of gym shoes from my dressing room. I had left them not thinking I would be gone for so long. Subconsciously, I was there to remember what I had been missing for the past 131 days since Broadway was shut down. I rang the doorbell and was greeted by Jimmy, the doorman. He was the very first person I met on the first day of my journey with the Hamilton musical. Jimmy was a sight for sore eyes after traipsing through a desolate Times Square. Our banter became a sweet reminder of the many greetings from months prior, and I didn't want to leave the bubble of his familiarity. He handed me the key to the men's ensemble dressing room. I needed my gym shoes. I was on my way.

[2:01] Preston Mui: Before my trek on the four-story walk up to my station, I paid a visit to the room where it happens. The abrupt change of light was daunting, and I hadn't waited for my eyes to adjust before walking into the dark abyss. I passed the bar from my shot, neatly tucked backstage, walked under the stage-left balcony, which we called a surround, and onto the turntable, frozen in time from our last turntable move on Wednesday, March 11th. With just the illumination of the ghost light, I could see all that I remembered. The red velvet seats, the ornate decor of the boxes, and the glow of the green exit signs. I turned around, the wooden set, the ropes, and I could swear I heard the distant memory of applause. I closed my eyes and took a breath.

[2:56] Preston Mui: Inside this breath, I took in love. Love for the stage, love for this incredible show, and love for what I would only just realize is my home. I took in gratitude. Gratitude for this theater, gratitude for all that I had gained in this space, and gratitude for most importantly, my health. I opened my eyes, the shoes, I headed straight to my dressing room.

[3:34] Preston Mui: On my way up, I passed four landings, each home to my fellow cast members. Just like my pre-show ritual, I stopped at each door as if to say hello. First, the resident genie, next, the sisters, Mulligan and Lawrence, the ladies ensemble, then finally, my stop. I turned the key, on autopilot, I headed straight to my chair. This simple black chair had become my home. I sat down to rest my feet, and I looked in the mirror. A flood of memories washed over me. Tales of love and loss, encouraging words from Broadway veterans, and conversations about race. These conversations were normal. This was Hamilton, after all. This show was something the Broadway community needed. The Great White Way needed more of us.

[4:30] Preston Mui: I came to New York for my Broadway debut very late in life. Being a queer Asian American performer, I never felt like I belonged. Between Miss Saigon and The King and I, there weren't many shows that represented who I was. I grew up thinking those were the only spaces made available to me, and they weren't even written by people of color. So I diminished my dreams of Broadway and found solace in the LA dance community. It wasn't until I saw Hamilton a few years ago that I thought I could claim my space on Broadway. There I was, watching a story about white people being performed by BIPOC actors. I had never seen that before. As the cast took their final bow, I wiped the tears from my face. These tears weren't just from Eliza's hopeful story, but more from witnessing the life I was secretly yearning for fully actualized in front of me. My glass ceilings had been shattered. At that moment, I vowed to live out the dream I had been suppressing for so many years. Two years later, my dreams came true.

[5:55] Preston Mui: Now that I had arrived, we were forced into a shutdown. My dreams put on hold. But this moment has allowed me to see things more clearly. My presence in the show brings more visibility to the other young queer Asian kids needing to see themselves represented on stage. I am one of very few Asian faces on Broadway. Now I'm back in this chair with a profoundly new outlook on Broadway, and here, just as Hamilton did, I can plant my seeds of legacy. In this chair, I not only built a home, but I gained a family. My Hamilton family is made up of every skin color, unquantifiable love, and the binary and non-binary. In the current state of the world, that moniker of the Great White Way takes on a whole new meaning.

Theater is a place where people from all walks of life come together to share our love for storytelling, music, and life. The stage is a common ground where we are all equals, each doing our part to make something beautiful to share with the world. It's more than just bodies on stage singing and dancing. Theater is a haven for creatures of wonderment lucky enough to live out their passions with like-minded souls. When I look in the mirror of my dressing station, I see my truest self, stranger to the outside world. Seeing the honest reflection of myself was both a remembrance of what used to be, but also what I look forward to seeing again when it's safe to come back to work.

[7:46] Preston Mui: I packed up my things and it was time to go. I descended the stairs as if leaving heaven to return to the real world. I took one last moment to visit the stage. I got down on one knee and touched my fingertips to the floor. It was as if I was inserting a memory stick into a computer to download as much information as I could. This would likely be the last time I see this place in 2020. I wanted to take in as much as I could to fuel me into 2021. I am eternally grateful for Hamilton. I'm fortunate enough to have a show to go back to while so many others aren't as fortunate. But I want to remind this beautiful Broadway community that we are all a family and we will get through this. And when the lights come back up on Broadway, the light inside each of us will shine brighter than any marquee. And that marquee will be that much more colorful.

[9:06] Mo Brady: Special thanks to Preston Mui for sharing his stories with us today. The Ensemblist was produced today by Jackson Klein and me, Mo Brady. There are two great ways you can be helping the Ensemblist right now. One is by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, and the second is by becoming a Patreon member at patreon.com slash Ensemblist. Please follow the Ensemblist wherever you listen to podcasts, on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, or at bpn.fm, the home of Broadway Podcast Network. You can also follow us on Instagram. Thanks for listening. Until next time.