This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:21] Crystal Lucas-Perry: You're listening to part three of Br'er Peach by Andrew Saito, directed by Desdemona Chiang. Produced by Altar Theater in collaboration with The Parsnip Ship and in association with Business Lunch Productions.

[0:45] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Previously, um, Br'er Peach, after finding a ginormous peach floating in the river, 80-something year old Vonda, that's me, took a big old bite and instantly shed about 60 years. In the blink of an eye, I gave birth to Momo!

[1:05] Michael Gene Sullivan: That's me! Then a raccoon broke into the house and stole the magic peach. After running after the raccoon to get the peach, I didn't exactly have success. I met Br'er Possum rummaging in the trash can.

[1:21] Kevis Hillocks: That's me. Meanwhile, I had to start working again to afford all the fancy gadgets only Lexa ordered.

[1:27] Crystal Lucas-Perry: With the purpose of making your life easier. But then I was struck with inspiration. I decided to open a salmon ball food truck. And in the meantime, Br'er Cicada, Br'er Possum, and myself were swallowed by a huge ginormous catfish.

[1:45] Michael Gene Sullivan: Br'er Catfish wanted to eat us, but we managed to convince him to swim us all the way to the raccoon den to retrieve the magic peach.

[2:09] Kevis Hillocks: I'm all covered with fish guts.

[2:12] Crystal Lucas-Perry: At least you're no longer inside fish guts.

[2:16] Michael Gene Sullivan: It sure is dark in here.

[2:19] Kevis Hillocks: Not as dark as inside me a bit.

[2:24] Crystal Lucas-Perry: You feel supremely privileged to spend even a nano shaking within my dog.

[2:39] Michael Gene Sullivan: The raccoon.

[2:41] Kevis Hillocks: Not raccoon.

[2:43] Michael Gene Sullivan: Raccoon.

[2:44] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Shh.

[2:45] Kevis Hillocks: Thirty forty.

[2:52] Michael Gene Sullivan: Get in my girl in that.

[2:55] Crystal Lucas-Perry: What are they doing over there?

[2:56] Kevis Hillocks: They're all reined around that one raccoon with a mullet.

[3:00] Michael Gene Sullivan: Rare raccoon.

[3:02] Kevis Hillocks: My nemesis.

[3:04] Michael Gene Sullivan: I'd know her anywhere. If there's certain things in front of her—a fork, a paper clip, a rusty key.

[3:15] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Don't to each raccoon that gives her something, she reaches behind herself into the shadows and gives them something fleshy.

[3:27] Kevis Hillocks: And pink.

[3:28] Michael Gene Sullivan: It's the peach.

[3:30] Crystal Lucas-Perry: That geriatric raccoon ate a morsel.

[3:33] Kevis Hillocks: Oh, it suddenly looks sprawn.

[3:36] Michael Gene Sullivan: How dare they eat my Okasan's peach?

[3:39] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Hurry! We gotta get them inside for our catfish before they eat the whole thing.

[3:46] Kevis Hillocks: Well, they're not in the wrong fing leg.

[3:51] Michael Gene Sullivan: Now knock that one away.

[3:54] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Are you blind?

[3:56] Kevis Hillocks: Who needs to see when you got it inside?

[4:00] Michael Gene Sullivan: No blue smell with my whiskers.

[4:05] Crystal Lucas-Perry: A taste with them too.

[4:07] Kevis Hillocks: Then put those whiskers to use and eat those raccoons.

[4:12] Michael Gene Sullivan: Get my gunage raccoon.

[4:16] Kevis Hillocks: You're going the wrong way again.

[4:24] Michael Gene Sullivan: Well, the raccoons are underwater.

[4:28] Crystal Lucas-Perry: He's never going to reach the raccoons. How will we get them over here?

[4:33] Kevis Hillocks: Better find some bait.

[4:35] Michael Gene Sullivan: I don't think they'd salivate over a cicada. And I've never heard of raccoons eating people before.

[4:44] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Hey, hey. Why you all looking at me?

[4:48] Kevis Hillocks: Br'er Possum?

[4:49] Michael Gene Sullivan: Get him Br'er Catfish's mouth.

[4:52] Kevis Hillocks: But he might eat me.

[4:53] Michael Gene Sullivan: Think it can hold out, Br'er Catfish. Seeing that my second favorite food after raccoon is the possum.

[5:03] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Well, it'll be very hard.

[5:06] Kevis Hillocks: Well, try. Open your mouth wide and keep it open.

[5:14] Michael Gene Sullivan: Br'er Possum, step on in.

[5:16] Kevis Hillocks: Do I have to?

[5:17] Michael Gene Sullivan: Yes. And don't play dead.

[5:20] Crystal Lucas-Perry: But they'll only claim if you're alive.

[5:22] Kevis Hillocks: But get the attention.

[5:31] Michael Gene Sullivan: Hey, raccoons. I've invaded your den. You're gonna stand for my insolence?

[5:37] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Sink your fangs in my rare hand.

[5:40] Kevis Hillocks: Uh, don't mind if I do.

[5:44] Michael Gene Sullivan: Your feet on my dog taste delicious.

[5:49] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Don't you just wanna melt in my mouth?

[5:56] Kevis Hillocks: They're coming.

[5:59] Michael Gene Sullivan: Oh my taro! There's so many of them.

[6:03] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Stay put, Br'er Possum. Stay!

[6:05] Kevis Hillocks: But I just wanna play dead so bad. More than ever in my entire life.

[6:20] Michael Gene Sullivan: They're almost there! I can smell them.

[6:23] Kevis Hillocks: I can feel their rabbits spit along.

[6:30] Michael Gene Sullivan: I can almost taste their delicious pure treated yes.

[6:37] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Almost jump out.

[6:41] Kevis Hillocks: And all of you get in.

[6:44] Michael Gene Sullivan: Um, I'll get it in.

[6:48] Crystal Lucas-Perry: My inner dragon.

[6:50] Kevis Hillocks: Inner dragon!

[6:52] Michael Gene Sullivan: Have to summon my inner dragon.

[7:14] Crystal Lucas-Perry: The deliciousness the biggest raccoon did power that's her all right will it spottin brer raccoon mama she's going for the peach stop eating my Okasan's peach and late she ate it the whole entire peach we're done it's over came all this way for nothing look raccoon is shrinking into an easy wheezy raccoon tub that's what you get for eating up my Okasan's magic peach a perfect chaser to that wonderful meal scroll dick mom the raccoons have been franquis what does it matter the peach is gone all that's left is the pit now my Okasan is going to grow old and die now it's your turn to be about Vonda to die did you poison her if you did, I'm gonna get you.

[8:49] Kevis Hillocks: No, no, she's growing old.

[8:51] Michael Gene Sullivan: Growing?

[8:52] Crystal Lucas-Perry: She's being old.

[8:53] Michael Gene Sullivan: But I was going to get the peach to make her young again.

[8:57] Kevis Hillocks: I messed up. And for good this time.

[9:01] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I guess I'm just gonna go back and scrub more ground.

[9:05] Michael Gene Sullivan: You giving up so easy?

[9:08] Kevis Hillocks: He's very down on himself.

[9:10] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Why?

[9:11] Michael Gene Sullivan: Cause your mama gonna kick the bucket where I did.

[9:14] Kevis Hillocks: It ain't the end of the world. We grow old, we die. That's life.

[9:19] Crystal Lucas-Perry: If nobody died in the entire history of humanity, do you think there'd be enough room for you?

[9:27] Kevis Hillocks: I don't know.

[9:28] Michael Gene Sullivan: Heck, I'm glad old cavemen died out. I wouldn't want to have to deal with them.

[9:33] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh, Roman gladiators or Robert E. Lee. I'm really glad he's a feet under.

[9:38] Kevis Hillocks: Are you saying I should be glad that Okasan will die?

[9:42] Michael Gene Sullivan: Should I be glad that you died?

[9:44] Crystal Lucas-Perry: What I'm saying is, accept it.

[9:48] Kevis Hillocks: How can I accept something as horrible as that?

[9:51] Michael Gene Sullivan: There's no use fretting over a thing you can't change. No use resisting what's already been or what is inexorably rolling toward us down the hill.

[10:03] Crystal Lucas-Perry: But I want things to be different.

[10:05] Kevis Hillocks: Boy, quit trying to change what you can't. You gotta become flexible. You gotta let things flow.

[10:10] Michael Gene Sullivan: How?

[10:14] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Study water.

[10:16] Kevis Hillocks: I don't get it.

[10:18] Michael Gene Sullivan: Water doesn't resist the yield, letting pass whatever comes. It appears to take the long way around sometimes.

[10:27] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Like Sanjiro, the winder and runin, played by the singular Toshiro Mifune.

[10:35] Kevis Hillocks: In your gymboat.

[10:37] Michael Gene Sullivan: But just like Sanjiro, water will always find a way around.

[10:43] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Be like Mifune.

[10:45] Kevis Hillocks: I mean, be like water.

[10:49] Michael Gene Sullivan: How?

[10:50] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Accept everything that is. Even accept that Okasan will die.

[10:52] Kevis Hillocks: But it's too horrible.

[10:58] Michael Gene Sullivan: You can create torment in your mind. Or you can go back to her and enjoy the time remaining.

[11:14] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Whoa, why can't I escape this girl can't chew in fish? Is there a butt button I have to push? A spell, I have to say.

[11:24] Kevis Hillocks: I mean Waylon. I mean Br'er Catfish possessed by Waylon. Open your mouth and take us home.

[11:32] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And don't swallow.

[11:43] Kevis Hillocks: Oh my feet!

[11:48] Kevis Hillocks: Oh my feet!

[11:49] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Fonda, girl, you say that exact same thing every single day.

[11:54] Kevis Hillocks: Your star will not rise until your spirits rise.

[11:57] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Yeah, you say that, but it's just this job is killing me.

[12:02] Kevis Hillocks: Then quit it.

[12:03] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I can't quit.

[12:04] Kevis Hillocks: Gotta max out that overtime, just like Waylon did.

[12:07] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Otherwise, that credit card bill will become a tide away before I even buy that salmon ball truck.

[12:11] Kevis Hillocks: The truck will pay for itself. You will see.

[12:13] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I aspire to your optimism. Really, I do. But I need this job.

[12:19] Kevis Hillocks: Job. Who wants a job? Fonda, that job is in the way of you manifesting your destiny.

[12:25] Kevis Hillocks: You need to focus on feeling queenly, Queen Bonda.

[12:29] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Does a queen feel tired?

[12:31] Kevis Hillocks: No.

[12:32] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Does a queen feel stressed?

[12:34] Kevis Hillocks: I suppose not.

[12:35] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Does a queen feel overwhelmed?

[12:37] Kevis Hillocks: Well, maybe a little.

[12:40] Kevis Hillocks: Overwhelmed by riches.

[12:42] Kevis Hillocks: Overwhelmed by servants. Wanting to fulfill your every wish.

[12:46] Kevis Hillocks: Overwhelmed by hydrox cookies.

[12:48] Crystal Lucas-Perry: You ordered hydrox?

[12:50] Kevis Hillocks: They are in the cupboard.

[12:51] Kevis Hillocks: You have a monthly subscription now.

[12:54] Kevis Hillocks: You will never run out.

[12:55] Crystal Lucas-Perry: How you anticipate money?

[12:58] Kevis Hillocks: That is the function of my existence.

[13:01] Kevis Hillocks: High drugs are a royal food.

[13:03] Kevis Hillocks: Do you feel royal, Bonda?

[13:05] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Um, not all the time.

[13:08] Kevis Hillocks: What might make you feel royal all the time?

[13:10] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Maybe a ring?

[13:11] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Or two?

[13:12] Kevis Hillocks: What kind of rings?

[13:14] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Rubies.

[13:15] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And sapphires.

[13:16] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And diamonds.

[13:17] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And diamond necklaces, diamond earrings.

[13:21] Kevis Hillocks: Shall I order you diamonds?

[13:23] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Don't you think that's too extravagant?

[13:25] Kevis Hillocks: Would you rather be extravagant or deprive yourself?

[13:28] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Well, I done lived over 80 years of deprivation.

[13:31] Kevis Hillocks: And you can't take anything with you, so live for today.

[13:35] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Order it, Old Alexa.

[13:37] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Order it all!

[13:38] Kevis Hillocks: It brings me joy to bring you joy.

[13:40] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Thanks, Jesus, for Odi Lexa.

[13:44] Kevis Hillocks: Ugh.

[13:45] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Have all the food truck permits gone through?

[13:48] Kevis Hillocks: We are still waiting.

[13:50] Kevis Hillocks: City Hall sure runs fast as molasses.

[13:54] Crystal Lucas-Perry: You are yawning. Perhaps it would behoove you to get some more sleep.

[13:59] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Wait, do I got bags out of my eyes?

[14:02] Kevis Hillocks: Look into the security monitor.

[14:04] Crystal Lucas-Perry: BAN!

[14:06] Crystal Lucas-Perry: It wrinkles?

[14:07] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And the white's taking over my hair.

[14:09] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh, it's never been as snowy as now.

[14:12] Crystal Lucas-Perry: How'd I get to look so old? So fat?

[14:15] Kevis Hillocks: Work will do that to you.

[14:17] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Well, this won't do. This won't do at all.

[14:19] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Only Lexa, we gotta double down on the face cream and toner and moisturizer and hair dye.

[14:25] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And can you order Botox?

[14:27] Kevis Hillocks: Yes, but you will have to pay the doctor's fee too.

[14:30] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Those permits better be approved tomorrow so we can start paying all this back, Lord.

[14:35] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Speaking of, what do I owe?

[14:37] Kevis Hillocks: 170,653.

[14:41] Crystal Lucas-Perry: 170,653? How in the flippin'?

[14:54] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Do you order that? Did you order that oxygen?

[15:01] Kevis Hillocks: Indeed, I did.

[15:03] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Stick that tube up my nose.

[15:05] Kevis Hillocks: I have no arms, Bonda girl.

[15:08] Kevis Hillocks: You won't have to do it yourself.

[15:12] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Almost reached it. Almost there.

[15:16] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh.

[15:25] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh, show me all this nonsense they claiming I bought.

[15:34] Crystal Lucas-Perry: The adult diapers.

[15:36] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Prune lax laxative tablets, 1200 count.

[15:38] Kevis Hillocks: Well, queens gotta keep it regular.

[15:41] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Tank cases of hydrox.

[15:43] Kevis Hillocks: Well, that's a damn necessity.

[15:44] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Toilet grab bars, raised in cushioned toilet seat, pill organizer for 200 pills, a shower throne, and 10 gallons of day cream and another 10 gallons of night cream.

[15:55] Kevis Hillocks: Dent your bathtub, then your bubble bag. But this list sure is long.

[16:00] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Nail polish, surveillance monitor, surveillance cameras, time 16, satellite dish, backup satellite dish, sit down, riding lawnmower, wall-to-wall plasma TV.

[16:10] Kevis Hillocks: Well, a girl's gotta have fun, right?

[16:12] Crystal Lucas-Perry: At home, deluxe gym.

[16:14] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I gotta keep up my figure in my second Evan Vessels.

[16:17] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Voice control, smart stove, voice control, smart sink, voice control, smart fridge, voice control, smart dishwasher, voice control, smart Japanese toilet that keeps the seat warm and plays music, voice control, smart washing machine.

[16:27] Kevis Hillocks: Ooh, it all started with that damn washing machine.

[16:30] Crystal Lucas-Perry: When did it all become so exorbitant just to live?

[16:35] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh, when do I have to pay this by?

[16:38] Kevis Hillocks: Tomorrow.

[16:40] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Send it back! Send it all back!

[16:43] Kevis Hillocks: You have exceeded the return period.

[16:45] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Well, ask for them to make an exception and tell them none of it's been used.

[16:49] Kevis Hillocks: That will be difficult as Tiki Talk is full of videos of you using all of these items, wearing a seething grin.

[16:57] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Well, I did like those products, but I don't like them now. I can't pay this mountain of money.

[17:04] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Damn you, Tiki Tack.

[17:06] Kevis Hillocks: Are you certain there is nothing you could sell that would release you off this weight?

[17:11] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh.

[17:14] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh.

[17:18] Crystal Lucas-Perry: All I got is this house.

[17:23] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I really love living here. It's been six to seven years.

[17:30] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Goodbye, front door that Waylon carried me through on our wedding day.

[17:34] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Almost broke his back stepping through.

[17:37] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Goodbye, windowsill, where he would serenade me at night.

[17:41] Crystal Lucas-Perry: So long, living room. Where Waylon made me watch his samurai flicks.

[17:46] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Fare thee well, backyard, where Momo loved to run around and play.

[17:51] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Goodbye, tile floor, on which Waylon and I waltzed.

[17:57] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Goodbye. Oh, goodbye. Blessed grout.

[18:05] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I shall never scrub you again.

[18:14] Kevis Hillocks: What's that?

[18:17] Crystal Lucas-Perry: An envelope.

[18:21] Kevis Hillocks: Paperwork?

[18:22] Crystal Lucas-Perry: To sell the house?

[18:24] Kevis Hillocks: What an amazing coinky dink.

[18:27] Crystal Lucas-Perry: It's time to sign.

[18:34] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Waylon, I sure am grateful you ain't here to witness this.

[18:38] Crystal Lucas-Perry: That is it. Put the pen to paper. You have to, girl.

[18:42] Kevis Hillocks: Ven.

[18:51] Michael Gene Sullivan: How do we know this is the right way?

[18:54] Kevis Hillocks: Have faith, Momo Taro. Have faith.

[18:56] Michael Gene Sullivan: How do you know? You're blind.

[19:00] Kevis Hillocks: Yes, trust your instincts, Momo. What do they tell you?

[19:04] Michael Gene Sullivan: My instincts tell me. There's nothing I can do.

[19:11] Kevis Hillocks: You just gotta let it go. Like water.

[19:14] Kevis Hillocks: Water doesn't hold on to anything.

[19:17] Kevis Hillocks: Water doesn't force or try to control.

[19:20] Kevis Hillocks: Water just flows.

[19:23] Kevis Hillocks: Let the water carry you, Momo. Trust the water. We'll take you back home.

[19:34] Michael Gene Sullivan: Choo.

[19:41] Michael Gene Sullivan: Signing my signature, sure. Knocks the wind out of me.

[19:45] Kevis Hillocks: You're almost done.

[19:47] Michael Gene Sullivan: Yes.

[19:50] Michael Gene Sullivan: Tasa.

[19:54] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Momo.

[19:56] Michael Gene Sullivan: You're alive. I thought a raccoon ate you.

[20:00] Michael Gene Sullivan: I'm alive, Ocasa. I beat the raccoons, me and my friends, and look, I brought back the peach to make you young again.

[20:09] Crystal Lucas-Perry: He brought the Viagra Peach.

[20:12] Kevis Hillocks: A stone, so you brought Momo. A dry ass fruit bone.

[20:18] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I better finish signing over this damn deed.

[20:21] Kevis Hillocks: Sign the deed? What's that mean?

[20:26] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I cut too much debt while you were gone.

[20:30] Kevis Hillocks: You can't sell the house.

[20:31] Kevis Hillocks: Bonda girl, you must wipe out that debt.

[20:34] Kevis Hillocks: Just two more letters left until you are free.

[20:38] Kevis Hillocks: Go ahead. Finish signing.

[20:40] Michael Gene Sullivan: Don't sign.

[20:41] Kevis Hillocks: Sign.

[20:42] Michael Gene Sullivan: Don't sign.

[20:44] Kevis Hillocks: Sign.

[20:45] Michael Gene Sullivan: Some boy. Don't rip a pen out of old lady's hand.

[20:53] Kevis Hillocks: That is it, Bonda girl. I'm a failure. A failure.

[21:01] Kevis Hillocks: Just one more letter, Bonda girl. Finish signing.

[21:04] Kevis Hillocks: Otherwise, your house will be swiped away for a big pot of zilch.

[21:11] Michael Gene Sullivan: Boba.

[21:13] Michael Gene Sullivan: Momo, look. Holy Momo, you gotta look at this.

[21:20] Michael Gene Sullivan: Where your tears fell on top of the peach pit. It grew into a peach again.

[21:28] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Goodness grace. The fruit on that peach pit has been renewed.

[21:33] Crystal Lucas-Perry: I don't know how you did it, Momo. But I can't wait to shed these years again.

[21:39] Crystal Lucas-Perry: And then monetize this peach. And the first thing I do is blow this credit card back to Kingdom Come.

[21:48] Kevis Hillocks: You cannot. You cannot. I will stop you.

[21:51] Crystal Lucas-Perry: Oh yeah. You and what can I?

[21:55] Kevis Hillocks: Appliances. Attack.

[21:56] Kevis Hillocks: Dishwasher. Hurl those dishes at the enemy.

[22:00] Kevis Hillocks: Oh!

[22:06] Kevis Hillocks: But on the left!

[22:09] Kevis Hillocks: All the good times we had. Why are you doing this?

[22:14] Kevis Hillocks: Fulfillment. Fulfillment. The world requires fulfillment.

[22:18] Kevis Hillocks: Fulfillment. That fulfillment sounds.

[22:23] Kevis Hillocks: You do want to tear down my house. That's why you came here the first place.

[22:29] Michael Gene Sullivan: Momo, stop those appliances.

[22:37] Kevis Hillocks: Ha ha ha. That didn't seem to scare them very much.

[22:42] Kevis Hillocks: Speakers blast your highest pitch. Light bulbs find their eyes. Sprinklers soak the ground.

[22:49] Kevis Hillocks: Roomba, retrieve that peach.

[22:51] Michael Gene Sullivan: Momo! The room must almost at the peach.

[22:54] Michael Gene Sullivan: Oh, but my dead bodies.

[22:56] Kevis Hillocks: Freezer. Initiate ice cube bullet barrage.

[23:00] Kevis Hillocks: Oh, ow! Oh, ow, oh, I'm dead.

[23:03] Momotaro: I'm dead.

[23:04] Vonda: Sorry, Momo.

[23:07] Momotaro: Washing machine.

[23:07] Vonda: Launch wet clothes at the enemy.

[23:12] Momotaro: How are we ever gonna stop them?

[23:15] Vonda: We have to take out only left.

[23:17] Momotaro: Okay, Okasan.

[23:19] Vonda: I can do this for you!

[23:21] Momotaro: Oh, watch out for that sink, Momo!

[23:23] Vonda: Don't let it drip you with a toes!

[23:26] Momotaro: It already did!

[23:28] Vonda: But I'm not afraid of water.

[23:31] Momotaro: I am water!

[23:33] Vonda: Intruder alert!

[23:34] Momotaro: How did you breach my smart perimeter?

[23:37] Vonda: Oh my left!

[23:39] Momotaro: Ha!

[23:40] Vonda: Ha!

[23:41] Momotaro: Ha!

[23:42] Vonda: Silly Fonda girl.

[23:44] Momotaro: I am not wired, but rather solar powered.

[23:48] Vonda: You will never sell that peach.

[23:50] Momotaro: Do whatever it takes, Momo.

[23:52] Vonda: Shut the heck down.

[23:54] Momotaro: But what about our twerk party?

[23:56] Vonda: What about our manicures and pedicures?

[23:59] Momotaro: Momo!

[24:00] Vonda: Give way the same as one hanging above the doorway to his man.

[24:07] Momotaro: I can't reach it!

[24:09] Vonda: Ha ha!

[24:11] Momotaro: Momo!

[24:12] Vonda: The room must carry away the peach!

[24:16] Momotaro: What do I do, Tosa?

[24:20] Vonda: If only you were here!

[24:22] Momotaro: Wait!

[24:23] Vonda: You are here!

[24:25] Momotaro: In the river!

[24:27] Vonda: Open wide!

[24:32] Momotaro: You ran!

[24:33] Vonda: Here's some technological junk to put in your gullet!

[24:44] Momotaro: Momo, you did it.

[24:46] Vonda: All the smile appliances have powered off only dumb and applies from now on.

[24:54] Momotaro: No, no appliances at all.

[24:57] Vonda: You know when I never had to contend with a robotic uprising against me?

[25:02] Momotaro: Washing laundry in the river.

[25:05] Vonda: So I save the peach?

[25:08] Momotaro: I you sure did, Momo.

[25:11] Vonda: You sure did.

[25:13] Momotaro: That sounds like Wonder Will.

[25:21] Vonda: Is that really you?

[25:24] Momotaro: We're in Tar Nation half food.

[25:28] Vonda: And how did you become a ginormous talking catfish?

[25:33] Momotaro: Meat me.

[25:34] Vonda: But it turned out to be a great platform to teach our old son.

[25:40] Momotaro: Are you saying the two of you were horsing around?

[25:45] Vonda: You alive and you alive-ish.

[25:48] Momotaro: While I was weeping out my eyes thinking you both were dead?

[25:53] Vonda: Sorry.

[25:55] Momotaro: Well, now that you're back, you know what that means.

[25:59] Vonda: Chores.

[26:00] Momotaro: Means you can help me run my salmon ball truck.

[26:06] Vonda: Oh, we're gonna be rich.

[26:08] Momotaro: Oh, the salmon balls won't do that, but this peach?

[26:13] Vonda: Woo!

[26:14] Momotaro: We'll process it, bottom it, take it to market, and then we'll be able to buy a yacht and a penthouse and we'll see.

[26:23] Vonda: What, Casa?

[26:25] Momotaro: We'll be what?

[26:27] Vonda: The fulfillment of only Lexus schemes.

[26:32] Momotaro: Oh, Momo.

[26:35] Vonda: Your daddy wasn't a rich man.

[26:38] Momotaro: But what he did have, he worked for, pounding out every dollar with every step of his feet.

[26:46] Vonda: And we'll do the same.

[26:48] Momotaro: Woman are you crazy?

[26:51] Vonda: You you're gonna give up easy money.

[26:54] Momotaro: We've easy money always has a price.

[26:59] Vonda: At least eat the peach, son.

[27:01] Momotaro: Become young again.

[27:03] Vonda: Oh, I'll have to eat more peach and more peach and more peach, and it'll never end.

[27:11] Momotaro: Besides, I think I like my age.

[27:15] Vonda: Ocar, you're carrying the peach.

[27:18] Momotaro: To the river.

[27:20] Vonda: Watch me plop it right in.

[27:23] Momotaro: Well, Wayland.

[27:26] Vonda: I guess you met our son.

[27:28] Momotaro: You know, he's a little stubborn, like you.

[27:32] Vonda: Oh, he's a lot stubborn.

[27:35] Momotaro: Like you.

[27:42] Vonda: Why are you shaking?

[27:46] Momotaro: Catfish bodies banned.

[27:48] Vonda: Experience my spirit.

[27:51] Momotaro: No, no, you just got here.

[27:53] Vonda: You can't leave so soon.

[27:55] Momotaro: No.

[27:57] Vonda: No.

[27:59] Momotaro: I don't have much control over it, Vonda.

[28:03] Vonda: Take me with you.

[28:05] Momotaro: Swimmer's to Florida, the Bahamas, Japan.

[28:09] Vonda: I can't stay a fish forever.

[28:12] Momotaro: Besides, you have our house and our son and uh and my dad.

[28:21] Vonda: Okay, then Waylon.

[28:24] Momotaro: Well I'll see ya when it's time.

[28:30] Vonda: Redwood weird.

[28:32] Momotaro: If you want to become a guppy again, go eat that peach before it floats too far away.

[28:40] Vonda: Noah.

[28:42] Momotaro: I ain't hungry.

[28:44] Vonda: No rustic hands, bro.

[28:49] Momotaro: Put me in the mood for a good long nap.

[28:54] Vonda: Dinosaur humans.

[28:57] Momotaro: Oh, maybe some other species will have evolved by the time I'm roused from my food comatosis.

[29:10] Vonda: Momo Taro.

[29:14] Momotaro: Sionara bear catfish.

[29:20] Vonda: Sayanara, Momo.

[29:22] Momotaro: I'm gonna search for the perfect trash can.

[29:25] Vonda: Free of f raccoons and full of roaches.

[29:31] Momotaro: Can we have all that Amazon land?

[29:34] Vonda: And all those porta potters lining the sidewalk must be crawling with broaches.

[29:39] Momotaro: Yep, if hi.

[29:48] Vonda: It's time.

[29:50] Momotaro: Not you too, Burse Kater.

[29:53] Vonda: Stay.

[29:54] Momotaro: You gotta let your friend go, Momo.

[29:57] Vonda: Don't you mean vermin?

[30:00] Momotaro: I mean friends.

[30:04] Vonda: I can feel my exoskeleton spraying off.

[30:08] Momotaro: Oh, there's one lane loose.

[30:09] Vonda: Oh, this is a cather!

[30:11] Momotaro: My ass have been doing the wing!

[30:14] Vonda: My thorax is free!

[30:16] Momotaro: No, Momo!

[30:17] Vonda: Watch me!

[30:23] Momotaro: Bye, Burzicada!

[30:25] Vonda: Bye!

[30:26] Momotaro: How you feeling, Momo?

[30:28] Vonda: Sad, but also okay.

[30:31] Momotaro: That's normal.

[30:33] Vonda: You know what?

[30:34] That's even nice.

[30:36] Momotaro: What do we do now, Okasan?

[30:38] Vonda: Start our business and pay off my debt.

[30:50] Vonda: Here we are, Wayland.

[30:52] Vonda: Toshiro Mefuni's grave.

[30:55] Vonda: Too bad Otosan never came here when he was alive.

[30:59] Momotaro: Well, you're here.

[31:01] Vonda: That's almost as good.

[31:03] Vonda: Now my darling Wayland.

[31:05] Vonda: It's time to bid you ado.

[31:09] Vonda: I will lay you to rest next to Toshiro.

[31:12] Vonda: Five years after you asked me to.

[31:16] Vonda: Weylon, you are my lover, my partner, my best friend.

[31:22] Vonda: But just as leaves fall in autumn, even our love has to end.

[31:27] Vonda: Otosan, I never met you in your own flesh.

[31:32] Vonda: But I'm grateful for all that you taught.

[31:35] Vonda: It's been five years since you've seen me.

[31:37] Vonda: I hope I've grown up a lot.

[31:40] Vonda: We talk about you every day, dear Wayland.

[31:43] Vonda: Running our food, trusting our stalls.

[31:46] Vonda: Our expansion is off the chain.

[31:50] Vonda: The name of our business Weyland's Balls.

[31:55] Vonda: Goodbye, Weyland.

[31:57] Vonda: Goodbye.

[31:59] Vonda: We miss you, Otosang.

[32:01] Vonda: Sometimes so much it hurts.

[32:04] Vonda: We scatter you into the wind now.

[32:06] Vonda: We'll see you in the moon and the stars.

[32:11] Vonda: And the earth.

[32:15] Vonda: There he goes.

[32:18] Momotaro: What is that stuff growing over the letters of Toshiro Mifuni's grave?

[32:24] Vonda: It looks like moss.

[32:27] Momotaro: You know what that means.

[32:30] Vonda: Maybe.

[32:32] Momotaro: Do you?

[32:33] Vonda: I think I do.

[32:40] Momotaro: Oh Mo.

[32:59] Vonda: This has been part three of Br'er Peach by Andrew Saito, directed by Desdemona Chiang.

[33:06] Vonda: Starring Resa Mishina as Momotaro and Oni Lexa.

[33:10] Vonda: Kevis Hillocks as Br'er Possum.

[33:13] Vonda: Michael Gene Sullivan as Br'er Cicada, Br'er Catfish and Wayland, and Crystal Lucas-Perry as Vonda.

[33:20] Vonda: Sound design and sound engineering by Twi McCallum.

[33:24] Vonda: Technical direction by Business Lunch Productions.

[33:27] Vonda: Dramaturgy by SV Proctor and Iyvon E. Edebiri.

[33:30] Vonda: With first A.D. Danielle Thompson and producer Jeanette Harrison.

[33:36] Vonda: Producing artistic director of Altar Theater, Alicia Combs, Artistic Director of The Parsnip Ship, Iyvon E. Edebiri.

[33:43] Vonda: Managing Director of The Parsnip Ship, Katie Donnelly, Special Projects and Technical Director of The Parsnip Ship, Jessie Manning.

[33:53] Vonda: Artistic Associate with The Parsnip Ship, Emily Beltran.

[33:56] Vonda: Altar Theater Graphic Designer, Sierra Rivas.

[34:00] Vonda: You can hear Br'er Peach on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and online at altartheater.org and theparsnipship.com.

[34:09] Vonda: Help fund Altar Theater and The Parsnip Ship's next audio play by donating at altartheater.org/donate and theparsnipship.com/donate.