This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:00] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah, we're excited to read it.

[0:14] Iyvon Edebiri: Hello everyone. Welcome to The Parsnip Ship. My name is Iyvon Edebiri, and tonight we are having our recording here at the Mark O'Donnell Theater at the Actors Fund Art Center here in downtown Brooklyn. Thank you to the Actors Fund for hosting us again this evening. They've been super wonderful and amazing partners. And tonight, February 1st, we are hearing an amazing, charming play by Andrew Rincón. Did I say that right?

[0:50] Andrew Rincón: Yeah, you did good.

[0:51] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah, I legitimately asked him before we started. I was like, I really don't want to fuck it up. Um, called I Wanna Fuck Like Romeo and Juliet, with musical guests Keren Abreu and Chris Peters, directed by Blayze Teicher. I love her so much. She's so beautiful, everyone. Please just Google her and like stare at her face. But before we get into um our reading and the first song, I like to ask our playwrights one question. What would the world be missing if it didn't have this play?

[1:35] Andrew Rincón: Um, no, I think we have a lot of hate all the time right now. Especially if you fit outside any kind of straight white mold and for the black and the brown and the curvy and the queer and the gender fluid and uh to take um a phrase from my fellow Raquel Almanzan, who always says plays are your play is an act of resistance. So I think this story about queer love and all its facets and heartaches and pain and joy is an act of resistance in and of itself. So I think the world has one little more help. One little act of resistance with this play to the hate in the world right now.

[2:20] Iyvon Edebiri: Oh beautiful. Look at you inspiring us. So we're gonna get started with our first song of the evening, and then our cast will introduce themselves and we'll get into it. Take it away.

[3:01] ♪ Musical number: "Love from a Distance" — performed by Keren Abreu and Chris Peters ♪

[5:26] Michelangelo Milano: Hello, I'm Michelangelo Milano, and I'm playing Saint Valentine.

[5:31] Juan Francisco Villa: Uh, Juan Francisco Villa playing Alejandro.

[5:34] Jacqueline Guillén: I'm Jacqueline Guillén playing Cupid.

[5:38] Justin Sams: I'm Justin Sams. I will be reading for Benny.

[5:41] Christina Liang: I'm Christina Liang, and I'm reading for Betty.

[5:44] Alejandro: I'm Alejandro Venancio, and I'm playing the Poet/slash Stage Directions.

[5:48] Alejandro: I Wanna Fuck Like Romeo and Juliet, a radio play by Andrew Rincón. The poet speaks. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Damas y caballeros, gods and mortals too. A story about love, fucking versus making love, heartbreak, intimacy, sexuality, breakups, queerness with a capital Q, magic, love, Spanglish, Latina, Latinos, Latinx, color, Greek gods, sex, cuddling, sex, and then cuddling, spectrum, silence, outer space, wings, a shotgun, journeys, both spiritual and physical, and the way each can be the other, and how love is confusing and wonderful and terrible, and confusing and awful and wonderful, and the realization that all love is really queer with a capital Q. AKA, I wanna fuck like Romeo and Juliet by Andrew Rincón. This is dedicated to Danny. Thank you for the great love. Capital G, capital L.

[6:46] Scene 1. The darkness of space in front of us. Lights begin to blink on and off, shedding light on asteroids floating in between stars and celestial bodies, moving about in a slow, intricate dance. We hear the sound of wings. Slowly falling like a lost petal, we see a barefoot touch down lightly on a rock. Lights reveal the goddess, Cupid, in front of us. She appears as a young Latina woman, wearing loose jeans and a white tank top. She is covered from head to toe in tattoos that swirl and move across her skin like water. From her back are two enormous wings. They were once beautiful, but now are old, tattered, feathers missing in patches. In her hand is a large double-barreled shotgun. She stands there for a long moment, watching the blue green ball of earth below her.

[7:40] Cupid: This was always my favorite. Watching you like this. Standing here, wrapped up in all this silence and night. I could just watch you for days, minutes, centuries. Earth big and round, spinning slowly like a drunk viejito on a dance floor. I'd clean la loca here. She gestures to her shotgun. And I just watch. I'd sneak up here whenever I could snatch time from work. In between the marriages, the first glances, summer romances, one-night fucks and kisses in alleyways. Cause let me tell you, this shit right here. She yells, her voice echoing, throwing her hands wide and taking in the view. Was Cupid's happy place? Entiendas, a refuge, mine. Whenever I had to deal with a heartbreak that was particularly nasty, whenever I had to watch a relationship I really believed in, worked hard at, crumbled into dust, I'd flutter my ass up here and just think to myself. Cupid, chica, tranquila. This world is a never-ending lava land filled with love. They'll be okay. You'll be okay. After being up here, I'd feel limpia, refreshed, ready to get back to work.

[8:49] Cupid: In the cold above Earth, Cupid stands in the silence for a few moments, stars blinking on and off around her. I'm up here more and more now. She sits and wraps her wings around her like a child with a blanket. Cause you're not some kind of never-ending infinity pool of love, are you? You're an evaporating ocean, a dried out desert, and love ain't been in you for a minute. You know what I think of this view now? She hacks the biggest loogie she can down on the earth. I see better views on IMAX pendejos. A few of the stars around Cupid begin to blink around Cupid angrily, swarming like bees. They keep swarming. Cupid grabbing her shotgun gets up and starts shooting. The lights scramble to avoid the bullets. They scatter and float away as quickly as possible. Anyone else? Huh? One star remains, giving us enough glow to see Cupid's face. We watch her as she looks down on the world she once loved so much. She almost breaks. She takes a breath, and then she makes a decision.

[10:00] Cupid: Fuck this. Cupid crosses her arms and grasps as much of her wings in her hands as she can. She struggles for a few moments, pulling, muscles straining, veins popping, cursing under her breath. Then finally, with one last tremendous pull, she yanks her wings from her back with a cry of pain and surprise. The wings fall apart, raining feathers down on Earth below. Cupid lays down on her rock, back bloody, trying to catch her breath. After a few moments, unsure of herself, she sees the last star around her floating nearby. She slowly points her gun and shoots. All light goes off, leaving her in darkness.

[10:41] Scene 2. The bedroom of an apartment in Hackensack, New Jersey. The apartment belongs to Alejandro, who is sleeping and snoring peacefully in bed. His boyfriend, Benny, is not. Benny is sitting up and wide awake. He has been unable to sleep for a while. Outside the window of the bedroom, we see Cupid's feathers falling like snow.

[11:02] Benny: Snow?

[11:05] Alejandro: Snow.

[11:06] Benny: Oh, yeah, it's snowing. Ain't it July?

[11:11] Alejandro: He watches the feathers for a moment. Babe, are you awake?

[11:15] Alejandro: Alejandro keeps on sleeping and snoring. Benny moves around, trying to gently wake up Alejandro. After a few moments of this, Benny roughly shoves Alejandro awake.

[11:26] Alejandro: Fuck! Are you awake?

[11:28] Benny: Yes! You scared the shit out of me. You see that it's snowing.

[11:31] Alejandro: I was asleep.

[11:32] Benny: Oh, right. Alejandro lays down and rolls over.

[11:35] Alejandro: You're going back to sleep?

[11:37] Benny: Uh, I'm just exercising my eyelids. Give me a few minutes to finish this set. I had a bad dream.

[11:44] Alejandro: Okay. He kisses him three times on the lips and face. We good here.

[11:49] Alejandro: Alejandro slowly lays down.

[11:52] Benny: Alejo.

[11:53] Alejandro: Benny, I'm begging you. We were up late talking, and I need to be at work early.

[11:57] Benny: Alejandro, I need to tell you about this dream. I think it's important. Let me just give you a hand, Joke.

[12:01] Alejandro: No.

[12:02] Benny: It will relax you.

[12:04] Alejandro: Alejandro, stop. The world is ending.

[12:08] Benny: Oh.

[12:10] Alejandro: It's snowing.

[12:11] Benny: Snowing in July. Literally, look outside right now.

[12:15] Alejandro: Alejo, it's snowing. July.

[12:19] Benny: Okay. And the politics are terrible, and our own government is out to get us. People like me and you to kill us. And I had a bad dream, a very bad dream, and so I don't need you to give me a hand job. I don't need kisses. I need you to be a good boyfriend and sit up and stop sleeping and snoring and listening to me.

[12:43] Alejandro: Dale. Thank you. So in my dream, I was hiding behind a corner of a wall like the one in our kitchen, and I'm holding a gun, a shotgun. And I'm holding it so tight that the veins on the back of my hand are making this angry little map. And I felt this heat creeping up on my leg. It was like a small body was pressed up against it, and you and I are terrified.

[13:08] Benny: Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm there?

[13:10] Alejandro: Yeah, well, I think you are. Uh, it feels like you're there at least, but it's not your body. Metaphorically, you're there. Maybe you're the gun.

[13:20] Benny: Why am I the gun?

[13:21] Alejandro: Because you're violent.

[13:22] Benny: Uh uh, no, I'm not.

[13:24] Alejandro: Well, maybe a little, but I'm not violent enough to be a gun.

[13:28] Benny: Shit, a fucking shotgun at that. Will you let me finish, please? I'm just trying to help you.

[13:34] Alejandro: You the gun. All I'm saying is violence is violence. Whether you're taking a gun out and shooting someone, or it's being mean to someone you care about in front of your group of friends.

[13:43] Benny: I apologize already, Baby. I'm just using it as an example. I'm not saying it has specifically anything to do with you or I apologize.

[13:52] Alejandro: And I accept it. I'm just saying you're violent.

[13:56] Benny: I, Alejandro Diaz, am violent. My love, Benny Randall is not. Are we done with the dream journaling now? Or is there something else you want to say?

[14:05] Alejandro: Benny goes to say something, changes his mind. Maybe the dream, the whole dream. It represents everything in our lives. Alejandro begins to nod off. Our family, our friends, everything we share. So maybe you're the gun, and I'm the bullet, and the map of my veins on my hand is stay awake, please. Maybe maybe the child in the dreams is ours.

[14:37] Benny: Oh no, don't say that. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Why would you say that?

[14:40] Benny: Make me upset.

[14:41] Alejandro: You asked me to help you figure out the dream.

[14:43] Benny: And I asked you to listen.

[14:44] Alejandro: No input.

[14:45] Benny: I don't want no kids.

[14:46] Benny: No children.

[14:47] Benny: No pets, no plants.

[14:49] Benny: I want nothing tethering me into this world when I die.

[14:52] Benny: I want to float into the afterlife like a motherfucking balloon.

[14:57] Alejandro: And where does that leave me?

[14:59] Alejandro: Again, Benny goes to say something, changes it last second.

[15:04] Benny: Oh, I got it.

[15:06] Benny: I know what the child in the dream is, what it represents.

[15:08] Benny: Alejandro, por favor.

[15:10] Benny: Just this one thing, and you can go back to sleep.

[15:14] Benny: The child.

[15:16] Benny: It's love.

[15:18] Benny: Ours, I think.

[15:21] Benny: It's tiny, small, and afraid.

[15:28] Benny: And I'm doing my best to protect it with everything I got, but it's still in such danger.

[15:35] Alejandro: Or whatever.

[15:36] Alejandro: He sees the look on Alejandro's face.

[15:38] Alejandro: It's a look that could peel paint.

[15:41] Alejandro: Did you just call our love a child?

[15:44] Benny: Um.

[15:44] Benny: Not only a child, but one that's scared and afraid?

[15:48] Alejandro: Well, okay.

[15:50] Benny: Let's go sleepy time now.

[15:51] Alejandro: Nice.

[15:54] Benny: Oh, hell no.

[15:55] Benny: Sleepy time over.

[15:57] Benny: No.

[15:57] Benny: No, Benny.

[15:58] Benny: Nope.

[15:59] Benny: No sleeping.

[15:59] Benny: He yanks the covers off the bed.

[16:01] Benny: It's just whatever.

[16:02] Benny: I had a dream.

[16:03] Benny: I was just trying to tell you.

[16:04] Benny: I don't know why you met.

[16:05] Alejandro: Oh, let me see.

[16:06] Alejandro: The man who has been my partner for the past five years equates our love to that of a scared little child.

[16:14] Alejandro: Our love isn't a child.

[16:15] Benny: I wasn't saying that.

[16:18] Benny: Should be our love should be fucking ancient, okay?

[16:21] Benny: Old.

[16:22] Benny: Old as fuck.

[16:23] Benny: Older than the oldest thing in the Puta world.

[16:26] Benny: Our love is a functioning.

[16:27] Alejandro: Is it functioning?

[16:28] Alejandro: Say what's on your mind.

[16:30] Benny: I am.

[16:31] Alejandro: No, you're not.

[16:32] Alejandro: You've been distant all day.

[16:34] Alejandro: We go out with our friends and then you pick a fight earlier.

[16:37] Benny: You pick the fight.

[16:38] Alejandro: And now you wake me up in the middle of the night to what?

[16:42] Alejandro: What, Benny?

[16:44] Alejandro: Wax poetic about dreams and insult my relationship.

[16:48] Benny: It's our relationship.

[16:48] Benny: It's 50-50.

[16:49] Benny: I can insult it if I want to.

[16:50] Alejandro: You think I haven't been paying attention to you the past five years?

[16:55] Benny: I know you, Benny.

[16:57] Alejandro: You get this random when you dancing around an issue, you don't want to confront.

[17:02] Alejandro: Put away the tap shoes.

[17:04] Alejandro: Enough avoiding, evading.

[17:06] Alejandro: Look me in the eye.

[17:09] Alejandro: Say what you want to say.

[17:13] Benny: Benny.

[17:15] Benny: Open mouth.

[17:16] Benny: Move tongue.

[17:18] Benny: Say words.

[17:21] Alejandro: They look at each other.

[17:28] Benny: I've been thinking lately, and I don't know.

[17:31] Benny: Uh if I we are should keep on doing us or whatever.

[17:39] Benny: He lets the rest hang in the air between them.

[17:42] Alejandro: During the silence, a warm light that Benny and Alejandro do not see washes over the fire escape outside the window.

[17:49] Alejandro: The light wavers, and we see two hands pull apart the light like a stage curtain, and stepping out like a showman is Saint Valentine.

[17:57] Alejandro: Valentine appears as a young man in his 30s.

[18:00] Alejandro: He wears a basic Catholic priest's robe, looking like an extra at a filming of the nativity scene.

[18:06] Alejandro: His halo sits above his head.

[18:09] Alejandro: As he turns to look inside the apartment, he flicks his halo, turning it on.

[18:15] Valentine: Oh shit.

[18:16] Valentine: Did I miss it?

[18:18] Valentine: Let's see, uh.

[18:20] Valentine: He consults a notepad.

[18:22] Valentine: Benny and Alejandro, we got it.

[18:26] Valentine: All right, babes.

[18:27] Valentine: Let's see what we got.

[18:29] Alejandro: Time is slammed into fast forward mode.

[18:32] Valentine: Oh, no, shit.

[18:33] Valentine: Shit, fucking go back.

[18:35] Valentine: Stupid piece of shit.

[18:37] Valentine: Shit, shit.

[18:38] Valentine: Time goes back.

[18:39] Alejandro: Benny and Alejandro repeat the moment before.

[18:42] Benny: Benny.

[18:43] Benny: Open mouth, move tongue, say words.

[18:48] Benny: I've been thinking lately, and I don't know if I we are should keep on doing us or whatever.

[19:00] Benny: Time is repeated.

[19:02] Benny: I've been thinking lately, and I don't know if I we are should keep on doing us or whatever.

[19:10] Benny: She keep on doing us or whatever.

[19:19] Valentine: Look at Mary Jesus.

[19:22] Valentine: That's a good one.

[19:23] Valentine: I need to write that down.

[19:26] Valentine: Resting his foot on the windowsill, Valentine scribbles in his notebook.

[19:30] Alejandro: Benny and Alejandro resume normally.

[19:32] Alejandro: Alejandro stares at Benny, taking him in.

[19:35] Alejandro: After a moment, he goes to the window, picks up a feather on the windowsill.

[19:39] Valentine: Valentine, focused on his notebook, doesn't notice.

[19:43] Alejandro: It wasn't snow.

[19:45] Benny: What?

[19:47] Alejandro: It wasn't snow.

[19:50] Alejandro: Feathers.

[19:51] Alejandro: A bird up on the roof or something.

[19:54] Alejandro: Benny closes the window hard.

[19:56] Valentine: Valentine screams and hops on his foot, dropping the umbrella and notebook cursing.

[20:01] Valentine: He notices the feathers, and he recognizes them.

[20:06] Valentine: Oh no.

[20:06] Valentine: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[20:10] Valentine: Fuck.

[20:11] Valentine: He disappears in a shaft of light that spears the night sky.

[20:15] Alejandro: Back in the bedroom, Alejandro plays with the feather.

[20:19] Benny: What are you thinking?

[20:22] Alejandro: Don't know if I have a word for it.

[20:24] Alejandro: He doesn't look at Benny.

[20:27] Alejandro: Heartbreak.

[20:29] Alejandro: Relief.

[20:30] Alejandro: Happiness, even.

[20:31] Alejandro: I don't know if it was one of those.

[20:35] Alejandro: Maybe it's a new feeling.

[20:37] Alejandro: Something new never felt before.

[20:39] Benny: That sounds right.

[20:40] Benny: We can name it.

[20:41] Benny: The new feeling.

[20:42] Benny: It can be a goodbye, a farewell between the two of us.

[20:45] Benny: Are you gonna stay over tonight?

[20:46] Alejandro: I can if you don't!

[20:48] Alejandro: He grabs a pillow and walks into the living room, leaving Benny alone.

[20:52] Alejandro: Scene three.

[20:53] Alejandro: We're back in the heavens above Earth.

[20:56] Cupid: Cupid is sitting down on her asteroid, counting over a set of beads in the dim glow of Earth below.

[21:01] Valentine: Behind her, Valentine appears in a bright flash.

[21:04] Valentine: Valentine sees her.

[21:06] Valentine: There is a long pause as he takes in her torn back, bloody and wingless.

[21:11] Valentine: He quickly flicks through his notebook and begins to read aloud.

[21:21] Valentine: Love.

[21:26] Valentine: Is of all passions the strongest.

[21:29] Valentine: For it attacks simultaneously the head, heart, and the senses.

[21:33] Cupid: Who said that?

[21:39] Valentine: Love's the only force capable of transforming.

[21:46] Valentine: A life without love is a sunless garden.

[21:49] Cupid: Oscar Wilde, make it a little hard, huh?

[21:55] Valentine: Love.

[21:56] Valentine: It's like the wind.

[21:58] Valentine: You can't see it, but you can feel it.

[22:02] Cupid: Who said that, smartass?

[22:06] Valentine: Ha! That was Nicholas Sparks, greatest poet of the modern age.

[22:15] Cupid: She pushes him off the asteroid.

[22:18] Valentine: He falls into blackness.

[22:20] Cupid: She goes back to counting her beads.

[22:22] Valentine: Valentine appears next to her in a golden flash, his hair in disarray.

[22:28] Valentine: If that had been permanent, I'd be fucking pissed.

[22:31] Cupid: Hello, Valentine.

[22:32] Valentine: Cupid.

[22:33] Cupid: They kiss hello, not like lovers, like two who have known each other intimately for a very long time.

[22:39] Valentine: I think you dropped something.

[22:41] Valentine: He produces one of her feathers.

[22:43] Cupid: She looks at it, touches it lightly.

[22:45] Cupid: Where'd they land?

[22:46] Valentine: Jersey.

[22:47] Cupid: Ugh guacala.

[22:50] Cupid: I was hooping for some place pretty.

[22:52] Cupid: Venice, Paris, Barcelona, city from my heyday.

[22:56] Cupid: One that used to drip with amor.

[22:58] Valentine: Don't knock Jersey, Cupid, my dear.

[23:00] Valentine: Just because they're fucking under boardwalks instead of the lawn and the Eiffel Tower doesn't make their celebration of you any different.

[23:06] Cupid: Don't patronize me.

[23:08] Cupid: I'm not.

[23:09] Cupid: Love is not celebrated.

[23:11] Cupid: I am not fucking celebrated.

[23:13] Cupid: Love is dust there.

[23:14] Cupid: Nothing but heartbreaks scattered everywhere like dirty snow.

[23:17] Valentine: Maybe you wouldn't think that if you spent some more time with the people down there instead of glaring at them from on high.

[23:23] Cupid: I spent enough.

[23:24] Cupid: More than enough.

[23:25] Cupid: The world is old, Valentine, and so am I.

[23:28] Cupid: Cupid has ripped off her wings.

[23:30] Cupid: She's quitting the job, leaving with her middle finger up and screaming, Comemel culo to everyone who can listen.

[23:38] Cupid: She plucks the feather from his hand and throws it into the blackness below.

[23:42] Cupid: Cupid turns away from him, hugging her knees, playing with the beads in her hands, settling into the darkness around her.

[23:49] Valentine: Then Valentine breathes in, as deep as he can, deeper than that, then blows out the breath from his lungs hard and fast.

[23:57] Valentine: His breath turns into gold dust, golden waves that ripple across space, turning back on the stars that Cupid previously shot out of the sky.

[24:07] Valentine: You sit in the dark long enough.

[24:08] Valentine: Everything's gonna look that way.

[24:10] Valentine: He moves closer to her.

[24:12] Valentine: Prague, 1656.

[24:15] Cupid: Valentine.

[24:16] Cupid: Closer.

[24:17] Valentine: Batelona, 1915.

[24:19] Cupid: I'm gonna push you off this rock again.

[24:22] Valentine: Umbria Italy, the night I was given sainthood.

[24:26] Valentine: There are too many examples to count of how in the curve of your hips, listening to the whisper of your thighs, you taught me how to love without hesitation, without guile.

[24:37] Cupid: He's touching her now, his lips brushing her ear.

[24:41] Valentine: Where's the woman that would feel most alive when she was riding me till dawn, showering her joy like rain on the world around her?

[24:49] Cupid: She turns and looks at Valentine.

[24:52] Cupid: I don't know where she went, old love.

[24:55] Cupid: But I don't think she's coming back.

[24:57] Cupid: She kisses him lightly before getting up and stepping away.

[25:01] Valentine: So you're quitting?

[25:04] Valentine: Just like that.

[25:05] Valentine: Can gods even quit?

[25:07] Valentine: Aren't there rules and—

[25:09] Cupid: You know better.

[25:09] Cupid: I do whatever I feel.

[25:13] Valentine: So you're just gonna just gonna pass a century sitting here, just picking your ass and whittling?

[25:17] Cupid: Who says I'm staying here?

[25:20] Valentine: The blackness of space around them ripples, churns, then wrenches open with a loud bang, revealing a door outlined in a strange light.

[25:29] Cupid: What the hell is that?

[25:31] Valentine: A door.

[25:32] Cupid: Oh, I thought it was a new type of elephant.

[25:34] Valentine: Of course it's a fuck a door.

[25:36] Cupid: You're just gonna leave?

[25:37] Cupid: Where does that even go?

[25:38] Valentine: Away.

[25:39] Cupid: That's the important thing.

[25:40] Valentine: Away, away, away.

[25:42] Cupid: Cupid, you can't give up.

[25:43] Valentine: I've already given up.

[25:45] Cupid: I upgraded arrows to bullets.

[25:48] Cupid: I've shot people by the hundreds, spent weeks and weeks with them trying to plant seeds of love to watch it wither and die the minute I glance away.

[25:55] Valentine: You aren't like this.

[25:56] Cupid: What do you know?

[25:57] Cupid: We haven't been closed for a long time now, Valentine.

[26:00] Cupid: And I haven't been the cupid you did know for a long time.

[26:02] Cupid: This exit, it's overdue.

[26:04] Valentine: And whose fault is that?

[26:06] Cupid: You pulled away from the whole world, including me.

[26:08] Cupid: If anything.

[26:09] Cupid: He gestures frantically to Earth below them.

[26:11] Cupid: They need you more than ever.

[26:14] Cupid: Why do you want to leave now?

[26:15] Cupid: What happened?

[26:16] Cupid: Cupid looks at Valentine, goes to say something, then changes her mind.

[26:23] Cupid: Just take my word for it.

[26:25] Cupid: Cupid has taken heartbreak to the chest one too many times.

[26:28] Valentine: I know you.

[26:29] Cupid: No, you don't.

[26:30] Cupid: We've been lovers, friends, co-workers.

[26:34] Valentine: What was that?

[26:36] Cupid: Nothing.

[26:37] Cupid: Just a sneeze.

[26:39] Valentine: Keep going.

[26:40] Cupid: We are co-workers.

[26:41] Cupid: Whatever you say, I'm I am the patron saint of love.

[26:45] Valentine: Yes, and I find that to be super cute on you.

[26:48] Cupid: I've done important work.

[26:51] Valentine: You call what you do work.

[26:53] Cupid: You sit there watching relationships and taking notes in that stupid little notebook, cackling your head off like the wicked Bruja of the West.

[27:02] Valentine: How dare you?

[27:05] Cupid: If anything, Valentine, you've hurt more than helped.

[27:09] Cupid: You just don't understand my work.

[27:11] Cupid: The flowers cannot bloom in the spring without the death in the winter.

[27:14] Valentine: Oh, please!

[27:16] Valentine: Let a black hole suck me up right now.

[27:18] Cupid: Relationships are cyclical.

[27:20] Cupid: Endings are just as beautiful as beginnings.

[27:23] Valentine: You create and manage love.

[27:25] Cupid: I'm a scholar.

[27:26] Cupid: I research love.

[27:27] Valentine: Oh fuck you, you hipster intellectual pendejo.

[27:30] Cupid: Fuck you, you you dumb lady.

[27:34] Valentine: Pendeja.

[27:35] Cupid: Oh.

[27:37] Cupid: No one wants a god of love who is over the puta concept.

[27:40] Valentine: Then what about me?

[27:42] Cupid: What about you?

[27:43] Cupid: You could just leave me like that.

[27:45] Cupid: She doesn't answer.

[27:46] Cupid: They stare at each other, furious and helpless.

[27:50] Cupid: In the silence, she picks up her shotgun and goes to the door.

[27:53] Valentine: Valentine moves toward her.

[27:55] Valentine: I won't let you.

[27:56] Cupid: Cupid slowly points the gun at him.

[28:00] Valentine: Is that really the note you want to leave on?

[28:03] Cupid: Cupid.

[28:04] Cupid: Points the gun away.

[28:06] Cupid: She smiles at him.

[28:07] Cupid: When I walk through the door, everything and everyone else will fall from me like ripped skin.

[28:13] Cupid: You, Valentine, I'll have to work to forget.

[28:17] Cupid: I wish I could live up to that image you have of me.

[28:20] Cupid: A believer in the beauty of the world, an eternal optimist.

[28:24] Cupid: If I've ever learned anything in the last century.

[28:27] Cupid: I'm not that.

[28:30] Cupid: I think that's the biggest thing wrong with what we do.

[28:33] Cupid: Love.

[28:34] Cupid: Ain't nobody God or mortal living up to the expectations like that.

[28:38] Cupid: She smiles at him sadly a moment, then she turns and moves to the door.

[28:42] Valentine: Valentine, desperate, steps toward her.

[28:45] Valentine: Hug me goodbye.

[28:47] Valentine: Cupid, please.

[28:49] Valentine: Give me that at least.

[28:51] Cupid: She turns back and looks at him, wary for a trick.

[28:54] Cupid: She holsters the shotgun at her side, opens her arms wide.

[28:58] Valentine: Valentine swoops close and hugs her with all his strength, putting his head in her hair.

[29:03] Valentine: You're gonna kill me.

[29:05] Cupid: Good, then you can't leave.

[29:09] Valentine: Careful, Valentine.

[29:11] Cupid: I still have a shotgun.

[29:13] Valentine: Yeah.

[29:14] Valentine: You're right.

[29:17] Valentine: But you know what you don't have anymore, Cupid?

[29:20] Valentine: What?

[29:21] Cupid: Wings.

[29:22] Valentine: Holding her tight, he kicks them off the asteroid.

[29:25] Cupid: Oh, you motherfu!

[29:27] Valentine: Limbs tangled, Valentine holding her with all he's got.

[29:30] Cupid: They stream towards Earth below like a comet in a golden light.

[29:33] Cupid: Scene four.

[29:35] Alejandro: Back on Earth, Alejandro's apartment.

[29:37] Alejandro: A few weeks have passed since Alejandro and Benny have broken up.

[29:46] Alejandro: I am single now.

[29:48] Alejandro: I am hot.

[29:49] Alejandro: I don't need Benny, cause this ass is fine with a Y.

[29:53] Alejandro: I am hot, hot like a Sangocho on a summer night.

[29:56] Alejandro: Woo!

[29:58] Alejandro: He runs faster.

[30:00] Alejandro: Alexa, open grinder.

[30:06] Alexa: You have zero messages on grinder.

[30:11] Alejandro: Alexa!

[30:12] Alejandro: Open Tinder!

[30:14] Alexa: You have zero matches on Tinder.

[30:18] Alejandro: He runs faster.

[30:19] Alejandro: Alexa, open scruff.

[30:22] Alexa: You have three messages on Scruff.

[30:26] Alejandro: Fuck yeah, I do, Mamita!

[30:29] Alejandro: Read messages.

[30:30] Alexa: Reading messages.

[30:32] Alejandro: LG, I love Latino poppies.

[30:34] Alejandro: Delete next.

[30:36] Alejandro: Yo, my dude, you want this sweet ass pussy.

[30:39] Alejandro: Delete!

[30:40] Alejandro: He runs even faster, lungs bursting, sweat pouring.

[30:44] Alejandro: Hey, how how are you?

[30:46] Alejandro: You're really cute.

[30:47] Alejandro: Alejandro is surprised at the nice, normal sounding message.

[30:50] Alejandro: So surprised, he misses his next step, falls on the treadmill, and slams back into the wall.

[30:55] Alejandro: Oh my rib!

[30:58] Alejandro: Calling 911.

[31:00] Alejandro: No!

[31:01] Alejandro: No, no, I'm okay.

[31:03] Alejandro: Alexa, show profile.

[31:06] Alejandro: We see an image of the profile projected on the wall.

[31:09] Alejandro: Alejandro looks at it for a moment as he gets up from his fall, catching his breath.

[31:15] Alejandro: Alexa, dictate message.

[31:19] Alejandro: Hey.

[31:20] Alejandro: So are you like wow?

[31:25] Alejandro: Send.

[31:28] Alejandro: As he waits for a message, he sits in a chair.

[31:31] Alejandro: He glances at a photo of him and Benny on a desk nearby, together at Coney Island, laughing.

[31:37] Alejandro: He looks at that for a long time.

[31:39] Alejandro: He then stands up and picks up the photo.

[31:44] Alejandro: Alexa.

[31:46] Alexa: New message.

[31:47] Alexa: Same user.

[31:50] Alejandro: Hey, uh, before you send me a message back, let me say something.

[31:55] Alejandro: You're cute.

[31:56] Alejandro: You think I'm cute?

[31:57] Alejandro: So great.

[31:58] Alejandro: We passed that first level.

[31:59] Alejandro: Now, we can move on to the next level and talk about museums and our plans for the weekend, our favorite music.

[32:07] Alejandro: We can get to know each other, and eventually, when we do know each other, we can hurt each other.

[32:13] Alejandro: It could be over little things, little burns here and there, or it can be full out attacks.

[32:18] Alejandro: Either way, in the long run, we'll just be hurt.

[32:23] Alejandro: So let's not bother with the whole thing.

[32:26] Alejandro: I can be ready in 30 minutes.

[32:28] Alejandro: You can come over and I can fuck you, silly, and I won't even tell you my name.

[32:33] Alejandro: And then, when the cum is out and the breath is back in our lungs, we can hold each other and act like we've got someone who cares.

[32:41] Alejandro: For less than half an hour.

[32:43] Alejandro: We'll get the fix we need to make it to the next day.

[32:47] Alejandro: Safer this way.

[32:49] Alejandro: Send.

[32:53] Alejandro: Alexa beeps as it sends the message.

[32:56] Alejandro: Alejandro takes the photo out of the frame and begins to rip it into many little pieces.

[33:01] Alejandro: He throws it out of the window on the way back to the treadmill.

[33:04] Alejandro: He gets back on the treadmill.

[33:05] Alejandro: After a few minutes, Alexa beeps.

[33:08] Alexa: You have one new message.

[33:13] Alexa: Address?

[33:14] Alejandro: Alejandro runs with everything he's got.

[33:17] Cupid: Scene five.

[33:18] Benny: Across town, Benny is lying back in a dentist's chair.

[33:22] Betty: Betty, a dental hygienist, is preparing to clean his teeth, filling out a form, and going over her tools.

[33:28] Benny: Nearby on a desk, a radio is playing.

[33:32] Benny: Meteorologists around the globe are reporting a new comet moving through the upper stratospheres of Earth.

[33:38] Benny: Not made of any type of rock or earth.

[33:40] Benny: It is believed to be a comet made of pure light moving towards the Earth at a frightening speed.

[33:45] Benny: Though scientists report we have nothing to fear in terms of negative effects, various radio systems around the globe seem to be picking up interference from the comet.

[33:54] Benny: Radio broadcasts are consistently interrupted with loud static and what some swear is language, with many believing they can hear what sounds like extremely vulgar cursing in both Spanish and English.

[34:08] Benny: One million moms have begun a campaign to temporarily shut down airwaves until the comet has Benny leans over and turns off the radio.

[34:17] Benny: Is that okay if I sure whatever you want I'm just a bit of a news junkie so.

[34:22] Betty: I was just afraid that would break some rule touching without there are no rules here except maybe no biting.

[34:29] Benny: Right.

[34:36] Benny: The news reminds me of my boyfriend.

[34:38] Betty: That's nice.

[34:39] Benny: Ex-boyfriend I mean oh that's I'm sorry.

[34:41] Betty: It's okay I broke up with him.

[34:43] Benny: Oh well men are dogs or so I'm told no no no we like him you know how things happen sometimes I'm sorry I don't know what the appropriate reaction here should be.

[34:56] Betty: I don't know either she gets back to her tools.

[35:00] Benny: I've been trying to clear head, you know.

[35:02] Benny: It's been two months.

[35:03] Benny: I've been doing yoga.

[35:04] Benny: Now I'm gonna stay.

[35:06] Benny: And I've gotten really spiritual.

[35:08] Benny: Like I'm going to the gym every other week.

[35:09] Benny: I've gotten to check up at my doctor's.

[35:12] Benny: I got an eye exam, 2020 vision.

[35:14] Benny: And then I went to the eye and nose and throat doctor.

[35:17] Benny: My sinuses are glitter and gold.

[35:20] Benny: And now I'm here.

[35:20] Benny: I'm on this new chapter of clean slates and new beginnings.

[35:24] Betty: That's great.

[35:25] Betty: I feel most let everything go when they're going through a heartbreak.

[35:28] Benny: I'm not going through heartbreak.

[35:29] Betty: Right.

[35:29] Benny: I just meant.

[35:30] Benny: No, I broke up with him.

[35:31] Benny: I'm fine.

[35:33] Betty: Right.

[35:33] Benny: If you open my mind is open, I am open.

[35:37] Betty: What what's your name?

[35:38] Benny: The Betty.

[35:40] Benny: Oh, I am open, Betty.

[35:41] Benny: Look, Alejandro was slash is my first love, and I care about him deeply.

[35:47] Benny: But have you ever woken up one day to realize that the shirt or pair of pants you've loved fit you weird?

[35:56] Benny: That's what happened to me.

[35:57] Benny: I just woke up one day and realized that this shit didn't fit right on me.

[36:01] Benny: The night we ended, I looked over at him sleeping next to me, and I could feel this pressure, like pressure.

[36:08] Benny: Betty, let me tell you.

[36:09] Benny: I I I felt like like if I turned around, I would have seen everyone in the world behind me.

[36:15] Benny: Everyone I ever knew pushing and shoving me into this fucking ocean of commitment.

[36:20] Benny: I'm on the brink of the water digging in with my heels and I mean for my life, my motherfucking life, because like, yeah, I'm I'm terrified.

[36:28] Benny: Betty, do you hear me?

[36:29] Benny: I was terrified.

[36:30] Benny: And and I'm not ready to swim in the ocean yet.

[36:33] Benny: Like, I I I've never practiced in waters, not even a kiddie pool.

[36:36] Benny: Like, I need like those kitty like water thingies.

[36:38] Benny: Cause like I'm a grown man.

[36:40] Benny: And I do my own taxes.

[36:42] Benny: I really do.

[36:44] Benny: But in the scheme of this world, what am I?

[36:51] Benny: An infant.

[36:53] Benny: A child.

[36:56] Benny: I'm not ready for this ocean now.

[36:58] Benny: Maybe I'll never will be.

[37:00] Benny: As he's spoken, he's gotten very close to Betty.

[37:03] Benny: He throws himself back on the seat.

[37:05] Betty: Betty goes to speak.

[37:07] Benny: I mean, yes.

[37:08] Benny: The water looks nice, inviting, but the thought of not knowing.

[37:13] Benny: But so I felt all this pressure while I look at Alejandro sleeping next to me, and um I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

[37:18] Betty: Uh I said if you open Oh oh oh oh yeah, oh.

[37:23] Benny: Yes, open.

[37:24] Benny: Right.

[37:25] Benny: Yes, Betty.

[37:26] Benny: I was, and I am open.

[37:30] Betty: I was just going to say that if you open your mouth, I can get your cleaning going.

[37:37] Benny: He leans back, opens his mouth, and Betty gets to work.

[37:41] Benny: That was really impressive, the things you said.

[37:44] Betty: I'll be quite honest, I didn't understand most of it, but it sounded really thought out.

[37:52] Benny: Working in the dental field, you see your fair share of people who can really stitch out a sentence.

[37:56] Betty: Well, that was my own experience with love is I guess if love for you was this ocean, I've never seen its waters.

[38:07] Betty: She cleans.

[38:08] Betty: You should floss more.

[38:10] Betty: She keeps cleaning.

[38:13] Benny: I've always been rather clinical.

[38:15] Benny: I think it's why I ended up here doing this.

[38:19] Benny: It's straightforward work for the right person, and that's me.

[38:22] Benny: Straightforward.

[38:24] Benny: Love, sex, and relationships always seemed to be for people who are more I don't know.

[38:31] Benny: Elaborate.

[38:33] Benny: Grand.

[38:34] Benny: People that had bigger lives filled with fireworks and color.

[38:38] Benny: Less straightforward.

[38:40] Benny: Benny speaks a garbled mess of something as she cleans.

[38:44] Betty: Oh, thanks.

[38:45] Betty: That's sweet, but I don't mind it.

[38:49] Benny: For a while I thought I was asexual, but I went to one of those meetings for asexual people, and they all seemed really like they weren't necessarily looking for anyone because inside them they already had that answered.

[39:04] Benny: And that's not me, for sure.

[39:08] Benny: I've always been looking for what I can't say.

[39:12] Betty: She cleans his teeth.

[39:14] Benny: Maybe it's about my parents.

[39:17] Benny: My mom was an American citizen and my dad wasn't, so when he came here, they got together originally without ever intending any romance.

[39:25] Benny: They just wanted the marriage for the papers.

[39:27] Benny: So my father could live here.

[39:28] Benny: It was a business transaction.

[39:31] Benny: I happened by accident.

[39:34] Benny: They told me that they happened to be lonely one night, and voila.

[39:40] Betty: I'm going to have to go a bit deeper now.

[39:43] Betty: She goes deeper into his mouth.

[39:45] Benny: Lately, with everything happening in the world, snow in July, comets heading towards Earth.

[39:51] Benny: I don't know if I've been in just a pensive kind of place, but I've been thinking about my parents' situation a lot and the circumstances in which they had me.

[40:03] Benny: I'm thinking that maybe that's why I never fell in love.

[40:18] Benny: Probably accounts for why I never.

[40:21] Benny: Anyways.

[40:22] Betty: She finishes cleaning, removes her hands from Benny's mouth.

[40:25] Betty: Okay, Benny, you're all set.

[40:26] Betty: Dr. Jeffy will be back in a little bit, too.

[40:28] Benny: Benny is weeping in the chair.

[40:31] Betty: Oh!

[40:31] Betty: Oh no!

[40:32] Betty: I'm so sorry I hurt you!

[40:34] Benny: Yeah, you fucking hurt me!

[40:37] Benny: Did you hear what you just said?

[40:40] Benny: Loneliness is this door.

[40:44] Benny: This is the saddest shit I ever fucking heard.

[40:48] Benny: He weeps.

[40:49] Betty: Betty swivels around in her chair, unsure.

[40:52] Betty: She grabs something from the counter nearby.

[40:55] Betty: Would you like a free toothbrush?

[40:57] Benny: Yes.

[41:00] Benny: He takes it.

[41:04] Benny: I'm sorry.

[41:06] Benny: I shouldn't have opened up like that.

[41:09] Betty: You were just so open with me, and I just felt that kind of openness deserved it in kind.

[41:14] Benny: And why are you crying?

[41:20] Betty: I'm a sympathetic crier.

[41:24] Benny: They cry together for a while.

[41:26] Benny: Eventually this dies down.

[41:28] Benny: In the silence, as they sniffle, they look at each other.

[41:35] Benny: Something passes between the two of them.

[41:38] Benny: I'm sorry.

[41:39] Betty: Really don't apologize.

[41:41] Benny: I just I I didn't think I'd miss him so much.

[41:44] Benny: My ex.

[41:45] Betty: Alejandro.

[41:46] Benny: Yeah.

[41:47] Benny: You get so used to comparing tiny moments of your day with someone, and then why don't you call him?

[41:55] Betty: He won't talk to me.

[41:57] Benny: Since the night it ended.

[42:01] Betty: And why did you end things?

[42:05] Benny: I'm sorry, that's none of my business.

[42:07] Betty: Would you like to have dinner with me?

[42:08] Benny: What?

[42:10] Betty: Would you have dinner with me tonight?

[42:12] Benny: He slowly places his hand on hers.

[42:15] Benny: We can be lonely together.

[42:19] Betty: Okay.

[42:20] Benny: They smile at one another.

[42:22] Cupid: Scene six.

[42:24] Cupid: The sun and moon move in their eternal waltz.

[42:26] Cupid: The stars blink on and off as time passes.

[42:29] Cupid: We hear reports.

[42:31] Cupid: The comet of light continues its descent on our planet, with the projected time of impact to be in just a few short days.

[42:37] Cupid: Despite public panic, scientists continue to reassure that the light will have no negative effects on our planet whatsoever.

[42:44] Cupid: And in an ode to the time of the year, have begun to call the comet Cupid's Arrow.

[42:49] Cupid: The point of impact has been determined to be Hackensack, New Jersey.

[42:53] Cupid: Many residents of the city have begun to evacuate and or move to shelters in preparation for the comet's arrival.

[43:01] Cupid: We are now at a park.

[43:03] Cupid: A normal park in New Jersey.

[43:04] Cupid: A large hill in the center, empty of people.

[43:07] Cupid: There are plenty of trees, grass, etc.

[43:10] Cupid: Just a normal park.

[43:12] Cupid: That has begun to shimmer golden in the light of the midday sun.

[43:15] Cupid: The light gets brighter and brighter, going from a soft glow to a blinding radiation that burns the eyes until we hear a crash.

[43:23] Cupid: Small, disappointing.

[43:25] Cupid: As the lights fade, we see in the middle of the hill two holes in the ground.

[43:30] Cupid: They are shaped like people.

[43:32] Cupid: From the one on the right, we see a bloody arm emerge.

[43:35] Valentine: Dragging himself out, kicking and cursing is Valentine.

[43:38] Valentine: My fucking back.

[43:41] Valentine: Placing his hands on his lower back, he stretches.

[43:44] Valentine: Oh, I think the fell help.

[43:48] Valentine: I think that helped.

[43:49] Valentine: Oh, my back feels good.

[43:50] Valentine: He opens his hands wide and takes in the park.

[43:53] Valentine: Oh, we landed in the park!

[43:55] Valentine: Beautiful sun, glowing grass.

[43:58] Valentine: It's a new dawn.

[44:00] Valentine: It's a new day. It's a new life for me.

[44:06] Cupid: Mm-hmm.

[44:07] Valentine: He looks at the other hole, slightly apprehensive. So, how are you?

[44:13] Cupid: We hear a scream of pure rage come from the other hole.

[44:17] Valentine: Quickly sits on the hole, covering it up.

[44:20] Cupid: We hear muffled screams and see Valentine shaking as Cupid tries to push her way out.

[44:25] Valentine: Okay. I'm sensing you might be a little mad.

[44:28] Cupid: More muffled screams.

[44:32] Valentine: And if you look at it a certain way, you have a right to be. I I fucked up your plans, brought you right back to the earth you had forsaken.

[44:38] Cupid: Forsooken. What's that word again, babe? Is it forsaken or forsook?

[44:43] Valentine: But if you look at it a certain way, Cupid, this is mostly your fault. You're trying to shirk your responsibilities. Responsibilities that you promised to the heavens, to God, that you would spend your immortal lifetime doing.

[44:54] Cupid: Don't let these dangerous, don't let these dangerous good looks fool you, my dear. I am first and foremost a man of the cloth. I believe vows to be sick uh um very fucking special.

[45:11] Valentine: I'm doing this for you.

[45:14] Cupid: He waits for a few moments to see if she will do anything else. She doesn't. He relaxes. Now I'ma let you out.

[45:25] Valentine: I'll buy us some ice cream and we'll talk this shit out like two civilized deities who—

[45:33] Cupid: From inside her hole, Cupid shoots Valentine in his ass.

[45:35] Valentine: OUP!

[45:37] Cupid: Fuck the boat!

[45:38] Valentine: Oh! He rolls away from the hole, screaming, grabbing his ass.

[45:42] Cupid: Looking like one of the furies, Cupid claws her way out of the hold. She is streaked with dirt and blood.

[45:44] Valentine: Fucking communion!

[45:46] Cupid: I just surrendered!

[45:47] Cupid: You eagle testicle!

[45:47] Valentine: Yeah!

[45:48] Cupid: Well, you dragged me kamikaze style from space and then had me chasing you all around New Jersey.

[45:51] Valentine: Definitely mad, differently mad.

[45:54] Valentine: So I think you deserve some more pain.

[45:56] Cupid: They stare at each other.

[45:57] Cupid: He shoots first before cursing someone else!

[45:58] Valentine: So the lip has been the ho!

[46:00] Valentine: Disgusting little dick!

[46:02] Cupid: Hey!

[46:03] Valentine: I mean, I'm not hung, but you know I do.

[46:05] Cupid: Shoots him in the knee.

[46:07] Valentine: Ah! Holy tree!

[46:09] Cupid: Take me back!

[46:10] Valentine: You are taking me back right now!

[46:12] Cupid: For what?

[46:13] Valentine: I fucking shoot you!

[46:15] Cupid: You've been shooting me!

[46:16] Valentine: So what, keep shooting me?

[46:18] Cupid: I'm immortal! What the fuck?

[46:19] Valentine: What the fuck am I gonna do?

[46:21] Cupid: It's gonna hurt a lot. And I'll keep shooting you until I run out of bullets.

[46:28] Valentine: And guess what? La Loca never runs out of bullets.

[46:32] Cupid: Valentine stumbles up and snaps his fingers.

[46:35] Valentine: Riot gear and shield magically appear on his body.

[46:38] Cupid: Let me just say one thing.

[46:42] Valentine: What?

[46:42] Cupid: He points behind her.

[46:44] Valentine: What's that?

[46:45] Cupid: I'm not looking behind me, Valentine. That's not what I'm doing.

[46:48] Valentine: Yes, it is.

[46:49] Cupid: How do you know if you haven't looked?

[46:51] Valentine: Because you're a fucking idiot.

[46:52] Cupid: That's how I know. Just look.

[46:53] Valentine: Just look.

[46:54] Cupid: No, no, no, no, no.

[46:56] Valentine: Fine!

[46:57] Cupid: She looks.

[46:57] Valentine: He's gone in a flash.

[46:59] Cupid: Speeding a speeding away.

[47:04] Valentine: Cupid leaps with an angry cry to follow him.

[47:06] Cupid: She's forgotten she no longer has wings and falls, rolling down the hill, cursing.

[47:11] Betty: We hear a voice from off. Are you okay?

[47:14] Betty: Comes running on. She is dressed in a very formal ball gown.

[47:19] Cupid: Hearing someone coming, snaps.

[47:23] Cupid: Her shotgun becomes a book bag.

[47:25] Betty: I saw you fall. Are you alright?

[47:28] Cupid: Yeah.

[47:28] Betty: I'm okay.

[47:29] Cupid: Are you sure?

[47:31] Betty: That hill is huge, and you just rolled and rolled.

[47:35] Cupid: I'm okay.

[47:35] Betty: Rolled.

[47:36] Cupid: Thanks.

[47:38] Betty: You can see me?

[47:43] Cupid: Yes.

[47:45] Betty: How?

[47:48] Cupid: Because you're standing here.

[47:53] Betty: Right. Just normally.

[47:55] Cupid: You're bleeding.

[47:56] Cupid: The roll down the hill has opened the wounds where Cupid's wings were ripped, and they have begun bleeding down the back of her shirt.

[48:01] Cupid: Oh, it's okay.

[48:03] Betty: It's just should I call someone?

[48:05] Cupid: Really? I'm fine.

[48:07] Betty: All right. I'm Betty. I'm cute.

[48:12] Cupid: Cupita.

[48:16] Betty: Cupida.

[48:17] Cupid: Hmm.

[48:18] Betty: Hmm.

[48:21] Cupid: Cupida, it's uh Greek.

[48:24] Betty: Ah, I would have thought you were Latina.

[48:27] Cupid: That's racist.

[48:28] Betty: Sorry.

[48:29] Cupid: It's okay.

[48:35] Betty: It's nice to meet you.

[48:37] Cupid: Same.

[48:38] Cupid: Looks Betty over. Nice dress.

[48:42] Betty: Oh, thank you.

[48:43] Cupid: Are you going to an event or—

[48:48] Betty: Kind of.

[48:54] Betty: Well, it's an event for me.

[48:57] Betty: I'm going on a date.

[49:00] Betty: I mean, I think it's a date. It's something new, and I've never been on a date before, so I figured I would dress my best.

[49:06] Cupid: You put on a ball gown for a date?

[49:10] Betty: Yes.

[49:12] Cupid: We're getting coffee on the other side of the park.

[49:16] Betty: Oh.

[49:18] Cupid: It's too much, isn't it?

[49:20] Betty: Oh.

[49:21] Cupid: No.

[49:22] Betty: Well.

[49:23] Cupid: I thought it might be.

[49:25] Betty: I just got really excited.

[49:28] Cupid: You like this person, huh?

[49:31] Betty: Oh. Glad to see someone still believes in love.

[49:33] Cupid: I don't know about all that.

[49:35] Betty: I just met someone recently who really opened my eyes to possibilities.

[49:41] Betty: I'm going on all kinds of dates and I'm excited about doing the whole thing.

[49:45] Betty: I've never done anything like it before. I've just always kind of been focused on my job.

[49:49] Cupid: Dental hygienist?

[49:51] Betty: Yeah.

[49:51] Cupid: Wait, how did you know that?

[49:54] Betty: You you have that look.

[49:57] Cupid: Oh.

[49:58] Betty: Not a bad thing.

[49:59] Cupid: Betty smiles at Cupid.

[50:02] Cupid: Thanks for stopping and helping me out and all, but I'm looking for my um friend.

[50:09] Betty: I lost him. Do you know any place nearby where a uh Catholic might hang out?

[50:17] Cupid: Well, they're saying Augustine's a couple blocks that way.

[50:20] Betty: Perfect!

[50:21] Cupid: Get a jet.

[50:22] Betty: I'm sorry. Have we met before?

[50:24] Cupid: Maybe.

[50:25] Betty: I get around.

[50:27] Cupid: I think we have.

[50:29] Betty: You just look familiar.

[50:33] Cupid: I I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you look pretty.

[50:38] Betty: No, I mean, yes.

[50:40] Cupid: But you just look like hope.

[50:47] Betty: I don't know how else to explain it, but you look like hope.

[50:51] Cupid: Betty puts out her hand.

[50:53] Betty: It's really nice to meet you, Cupita.

[50:56] Cupid: Go to a doctor for that back, okay?

[50:59] Betty: Nice to meet you, Betty.

[51:01] Cupid: They shake hands.

[51:02] Cupid: They hold it for a moment.

[51:04] Cupid: Something passes between the two of them. Like, literally, we see a red glow travel down Cupid's arm into their joined hands and up Betty's arm.

[51:13] Cupid: Without knowing why, Cupid leans in and kisses her on the cheek.

[51:16] Cupid: She lingers a moment before moving away.

[51:19] Cupid: With an angry, determined look on her face, she begins to jog in the direction of the church.

[51:24] Betty: Betty stands for a moment stunned, her hand touching her cheek where Cupid kissed her.

[51:28] Betty: Suddenly jerks her back in pain.

[51:31] Betty: Ow!

[51:32] Betty: She looks at her back and sees nothing.

[51:34] Betty: Mosquitoes.

[51:35] Cupid: With one last glance in Cupid's direction, Betty walks the opposite way, the train of her dress in her hands.

[51:41] Cupid: As she walks away, we see two tiny little feathers fall from her back.

[51:45] Alejandro: Scene eight. We are in Alejandro's bedroom that night. He is sleeping.

[51:49] Alejandro: A tiny little rock hits a windowpane in his bedroom.

[51:54] Alejandro: He continues to sleep.

[51:56] Alejandro: Another tiny rock hits the window.

[51:58] Alejandro: He keeps sleeping.

[52:00] Alejandro: Then a large rock slams through his window with a large crash.

[52:05] Alejandro: He looks around.

[52:06] Alejandro: He gets up and goes to the window, opens it carefully.

[52:10] Benny: Hi.

[52:13] Alejandro: Why did you just break my window?

[52:16] Benny: It never actually breaks in the movies. I just used a little one so they, you know, so you wouldn't wake.

[52:22] Benny: So I tried a bigger one and I'm sorry.

[52:23] Alejandro: Why the fuck is that?

[52:25] Benny: Your dumbass is always traumatizing me in my sleep.

[52:28] Alejandro: You wouldn't answer my text or call.

[52:30] Benny: I've been busy.

[52:31] Alejandro: With what?

[52:32] Benny: With things.

[52:33] Alejandro: Things like those three tricks that have been in your apartment tonight.

[52:37] Benny: Have uh you've been waiting outside of my building?

[52:42] Benny: I don't know how to answer that.

[52:48] Alejandro: What the fuck is wrong with you?

[52:50] Benny: I didn't come here with the intention to stalk. I wanted to do the rock hitting your window thing, and I could only do that shit at night.

[52:57] Alejandro: Why did you have to wait till night?

[52:59] Benny: Because in the movies, it always happens at night. And plus, your neighbors be hella racist, and I don't want them to see my black ass throwing rocks at your window and calling the cops on me.

[53:08] Alejandro: Good night, Benny.

[53:08] Benny: He goes to close the window.

[53:10] Alejandro: I was worried.

[53:12] Benny: I heard about the shooting.

[53:15] Alejandro: What?

[53:16] Benny: The shooting at your church?

[53:18] Alejandro: It happened today.

[53:19] Benny: People think it was a sniper or something.

[53:21] Benny: No one saw who did the shooting or who they were shooting at, but they blew out all the windows.

[53:26] Alejandro: Chasing something.

[53:27] Benny: Oh my god, no one No one was hurt, no.

[53:31] Alejandro: You didn't know.

[53:33] Benny: No.

[53:34] Alejandro: I haven't been in a while.

[53:36] Benny: Uh I've been busy.

[53:38] Alejandro: Yeah.

[53:40] Benny: They look at each other.

[53:46] Alejandro: You're my Juliet now.

[53:49] Benny: Confused at first, Alejandro realizes what he means.

[53:52] Alejandro: He begins to laugh despite it all.

[53:55] Benny: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?

[53:59] Alejandro: Did you fuck all those guys that came over today?

[54:01] Benny: Good night, Benny.

[54:02] Alejandro: Did you?

[54:03] Benny: I'm not having this conversation with you right now.

[54:05] Alejandro: Then have it with me tomorrow in person.

[54:08] Benny: Let's meet at River County Park around noon.

[54:13] Alejandro: Please.

[54:17] Benny: Fine.

[54:17] Alejandro: Benny jumps and fist bumps into the air.

[54:20] Benny: But I want Starbucks.

[54:21] Alejandro: Nice Starbucks and glass.

[54:23] Benny: Glass.

[54:25] Alejandro: For my window.

[54:26] Benny: And take your fucking rock back.

[54:28] Alejandro: He grabs the rock from off of his floor and throws it down at him.

[54:31] Alejandro: He slams the window shut.

[54:33] Benny: It breaks more glass.

[54:35] Alejandro: Groaning, he throws himself back into his bed, throwing the covers over him.

[54:39] Benny: On the street below, Benny walks away from the building, smiling and hopeful.

[54:42] Benny: He passes by Valentine unseen, who is lounging on the curb.

[54:46] Valentine: He has bandages all over his body, where Cupid, hunting him across the city, has shot him multiple times.

[54:52] Valentine: Despite the wounds, he smiles like the Cheshire cat.

[54:55] Valentine: Because he's listened to Alejandro and Cupid talk, and now he has an idea.

[55:00] Alejandro: Scene 9. The next day. We are back at the park.

[55:04] Alejandro: Alejandro and Benny meet awkwardly.

[55:06] Benny: They do not hug hello.

[55:08] Alejandro: They sit on a park bench and they begin to engage in the fake pleasantries we all go through when we see an ex.

[55:14] Cupid: Behind them, near the center of the park is a flash of light.

[55:17] Valentine: He appears, looking around him frantically.

[55:20] Valentine: He sees Alejandro and Benny in the distance.

[55:22] Valentine: He snaps, and time slows around Alejandro and Benny like honey dripping down a drain.

[55:28] Cupid: Cupid appears around a bend in the park, running like Flojo on speed.

[55:32] Cupid: She spots Valentine and begins to shoot.

[55:34] Valentine: Throws himself to his knees and throws his hands up.

[55:37] Valentine: Surrender!

[55:39] Cupid: What?

[55:40] Valentine: I surrender, you got me.

[55:41] Cupid: Stares for a moment, then shoots him in the knee.

[55:44] Alejandro: Fucking communion.

[55:46] Benny: I just surrendered.

[55:47] Alejandro: Yeah.

[55:48] Benny: Well, you dragged me kamikaze style from space and then had me chasing you all around New Jersey.

[55:54] Alejandro: So I think you deserve some more pain.

[55:56] Benny: They stare at each other.

[55:58] Alejandro: So the lip was been the ho.

[56:02] Cupid: Now?

[56:03] Valentine: Yes!

[56:04] Cupid: Take me back.

[56:05] Valentine: Okay.

[56:06] Cupid: But let me just show you one thing.

[56:08] Valentine: No!

[56:09] Cupid: We're done!

[56:10] Valentine: This is over.

[56:11] Cupid: You try and say anything other than up, up and away, I shoot your tongue out of your fucking head.

[56:16] Valentine: Can you even do that?

[56:17] Cupid: You wanna try me?

[56:18] Valentine: No, I just I want.

[56:20] Cupid: She gets ready to shoot.

[56:21] Cupid: It involves our girl Betty!

[56:24] Valentine: What?

[56:24] Cupid: That girl Betty.

[56:26] Valentine: Who's Betty?

[56:28] Cupid: Hmm.

[56:28] Valentine: I don't know, maybe the woman you've been watching in between shooting the cartilage out of me.

[56:33] Cupid: I don't know who you mean.

[56:35] Valentine: Don't try and play me, old love.

[56:37] Cupid: Even without wings, you're faster than Roadrunner.

[56:40] Valentine: You could have caught me days ago if you weren't spending so much time running around a certain dentist's office.

[56:46] Cupid: I just—

[56:52] Valentine: Interesting.

[56:52] Cupid: She could see me.

[56:54] Valentine: I was just curious how.

[56:57] Cupid: We've met people who could see us, people touched by the divine.

[57:01] Valentine: Nostradamus, Joan of Arc, John Lennon.

[57:04] Cupid: The rare, but not as rare as Cupid getting a crush on one of them.

[57:08] Valentine: I do not.

[57:11] Cupid: Bullshit.

[57:13] Valentine: What?

[57:14] Cupid: You're jealous?

[57:15] Valentine: Please.

[57:16] Cupid: I'm about that free love, baby.

[57:19] Valentine: You love on someone else is like music to Valentine Jr.

[57:23] Cupid: Here.

[57:24] Valentine: He whistles, mimicking an erection with his arm.

[57:28] Cupid: It's not.

[57:29] Valentine: She was just—

[57:31] Cupid: It doesn't matter.

[57:32] Valentine: I've quit and I'm leaving.

[57:34] Cupid: I don't believe in love.

[57:36] Valentine: You don't.

[57:38] Cupid: You don't believe in love anymore.

[57:42] Valentine: But do you believe in great loves?

[57:48] Cupid: What did you just say?

[57:50] Valentine: A great love.

[57:52] Cupid: Capital G, Capital L, right here in New Jersey.

[57:56] Cupid: They are interrupted by music.

[57:58] Cupid: A poet's interjection.

[58:00] Valentine: A great love.

[58:01] Cupid: Capital G, Capital L is a status given to couples whose love is so grand, so majestic, so fucking on fire, that Cupid and Valentine have blessed their union.

[58:12] Valentine: And a blessing from a god and a saint.

[58:18] Cupid: Let's resume.

[58:21] Valentine: There hasn't been a great love in ages, Valentine.

[58:25] Cupid: You know that.

[58:25] Valentine: I call Bull.

[58:27] Cupid: Romeo and Juliet.

[58:28] Valentine: Not real.

[58:29] Cupid: Tristan and Isolde.

[58:30] Valentine: Still not real.

[58:31] Cupid: Kanye West and Kim K.

[58:33] Valentine: She gives him a look.

[58:35] Cupid: Fuck you, I believe in them.

[58:37] Valentine: This is another trick, Valentine.

[58:39] Cupid: I can show them to you.

[58:40] Cupid: I swear on my halo that this shit is for real.

[58:43] Valentine: But if you'd rather miss the chance.

[58:45] Cupid: He lets it hang in the air.

[58:47] Cupid: Despite not wanting to be, I’m curious.

[58:50] Cupid: Fine.

[58:52] Cupid: You can show me.

[58:53] Cupid: I'm just looking at them, and then you're gonna take me back, and then I'm gone like yesterday's news.

[59:00] Valentine: Bueno, you're the boss.

[59:04] Valentine: Get in close.

[59:05] Valentine: He wraps his arms around her in a bear hug.

[59:08] Cupid: Still royally annoyed with Valentine, I walk into his embrace begrudgingly.

[59:13] Valentine: Ever the fool, I smile seductively at Cupid.

[59:18] Valentine: Don't you smell like freshly cleaned laundry?

[59:21] Cupid: As he smiles at me, I glare and put the mouth of my gun under his chin.

[59:25] Cupid: You are not in the clear yet, Valentine.

[59:28] Cupid: Watch yourself.

[59:30] Cupid: Now, make with the golden light.

[59:33] Cupid: They are enveloped in a nimbus of golden light.

[59:35] Cupid: The light shoots up into the clouds above with a crack.

[59:38] Cupid: The clouds begin to darken.

[59:40] Cupid: Rain begins to fall over the park.

[59:42] Cupid: As we go back to Alejandro and Benny, time resumes.

[59:45] Alejandro: It's normal speed.

[59:47] Alejandro: Rain, it's no mystery.

[59:49] Alejandro: Unlike all this bullshit.

[59:51] Benny: You mean you and I.

[59:52] Alejandro: Well, I was talking about the world at large.

[59:55] Benny: But yeah, you and me.

[59:59] Alejandro: So I came, I'm here.

[1:00:00] Benny: What do you want?

[1:00:02] Alejandro: I'm tired of it.

[1:00:04] Alejandro: I'm fine, I'm good, and somehow you creep it into my head, and then everything hurts.

[1:00:09] Alejandro: Everything.

[1:00:10] Alejandro: It feels like I'm dying on a deep, deep, deep level, like a cellular.

[1:00:14] Alejandro: We ended, we finished, we closed the book.

[1:00:17] Benny: For a book?

[1:00:18] Alejandro: Yes.

[1:00:19] Alejandro: A book that you're assigned to read in school.

[1:00:22] Alejandro: Long, tedious, and without a satisfying ending.

[1:00:24] Benny: So you'll just have to live with it.

[1:00:27] Alejandro: I like our book.

[1:00:28] Alejandro: I think you did too at some point.

[1:00:30] Alejandro: Rereading it would be nice.

[1:00:32] Benny: Heroin seems nice, but it doesn't mean we should shoot up here on this park bench.

[1:00:37] Alejandro: I do have a needle.

[1:00:39] Benny: Really?

[1:00:39] Alejandro: No.

[1:00:44] Benny: You left me.

[1:00:46] Alejandro: Did I though?

[1:00:47] Benny: Yes.

[1:00:48] Alejandro: But did I?

[1:00:48] Benny: Yes.

[1:00:49] Alejandro: Maybe I said the words, but it's not like you.

[1:00:51] Benny: Don't even.

[1:00:53] Alejandro: In the distance, we hear a violin.

[1:00:56] Benny: You hear that little boy?

[1:00:59] Benny: Comes here every day and plays that violin.

[1:01:03] Benny: I used to love it.

[1:01:05] Benny: Would always put a dollar or two in his case whenever I pass by.

[1:01:10] Benny: But now I have to fight the urge to punch him, yelling, fuck you, kid, and your happy music.

[1:01:16] Alejandro: I can't hear him.

[1:01:17] Benny: The only music I hear is the sound of your voice.

[1:01:21] Alejandro: You really?

[1:01:22] Benny: Fuck you.

[1:01:23] Alejandro: I'm trying to woo you.

[1:01:24] Benny: The pain of you leaving was.

[1:01:28] Benny: But I lived and you lived, and we've entered a new part of our lives.

[1:01:31] Benny: Sans us.

[1:01:32] Alejandro: Legs shouldn't move backwards, right?

[1:01:35] Benny: I should go.

[1:01:39] Alejandro: Fine.

[1:01:40] Benny: Go.

[1:01:41] Alejandro: Go, Alejandro.

[1:01:42] Benny: Go with your great outlook and your forward-moving fucking legs.

[1:01:46] Alejandro: You focus on the ending rather than the beginning or the middle with all the good times and memories.

[1:01:52] Alejandro: And and and the pleasure I brought to you with my mind and my body.

[1:01:56] Benny: And don't make that face.

[1:01:58] Alejandro: You know I didn't make you feel the pleasure at least two times a week, so I will go.

[1:02:03] Benny: Okay, then go.

[1:02:03] Alejandro: Okay.

[1:02:04] Benny: Bye.

[1:02:05] Benny: I begin to cry, trying to hide it.

[1:02:07] Alejandro: I try to go.

[1:02:09] Benny: Can't.

[1:02:09] Alejandro: Sits on the bench again.

[1:02:12] Benny: You said the words, you left me.

[1:02:15] Alejandro: Why?

[1:02:18] Benny: I really wish I knew.

[1:02:19] Alejandro: If I could take it back.

[1:02:21] Benny: You can't.

[1:02:22] Alejandro: A moment.

[1:02:24] Alejandro: Then takes an envelope from my pocket.

[1:02:27] Alejandro: Here.

[1:02:28] Benny: I open it.

[1:02:29] Benny: I pull out a photo.

[1:02:31] Benny: Photo?

[1:02:32] Alejandro: The day we met.

[1:02:34] Alejandro: When I was cleaning out my place after you left.

[1:02:38] Alejandro: To be honest, I ripped up most of the ones I could find of the two of us, but I couldn't bring myself to grow get rid of this one.

[1:02:45] Alejandro: So I've been keeping it around to.

[1:02:49] Alejandro: I don't know.

[1:02:50] Benny: Joy dawns on my face.

[1:02:54] Benny: This shouldn't give you hope.

[1:02:57] Alejandro: But I do.

[1:03:00] Benny: Okay.

[1:03:01] Alejandro: I miss you.

[1:03:03] Alejandro: They look at each other.

[1:03:05] Alejandro: I kiss him.

[1:03:05] Benny: This doesn't mean you don't, you'll ruin it.

[1:03:08] Alejandro: This is enough for now.

[1:03:14] Alejandro: If I find it out, the reason I left.

[1:03:16] Benny: If I figure it out, can I come back?

[1:03:18] Alejandro: Benny.

[1:03:19] Benny: They hold each other a moment.

[1:03:21] Betty: Now back in her scrubs.

[1:03:22] Betty: She is holding her two coffees.

[1:03:24] Betty: So they were out of honey, but I put a little cream in it for you.

[1:03:29] Alejandro: Oh, awesome.

[1:03:30] Benny: Thank you.

[1:03:30] Alejandro: I am confused.

[1:03:32] Benny: I'll wait over here there, okay?

[1:03:34] Alejandro: Sounds good.

[1:03:35] Benny: They kiss lightly.

[1:03:36] Betty: Smiles at a dumbfounded Alejandro.

[1:03:38] Alejandro: Hey.

[1:03:40] Betty: Hi.

[1:03:42] Betty: She walks away.

[1:03:43] Benny: Sips.

[1:03:44] Alejandro: Stares at Benny.

[1:03:46] Benny: Stares back, questioning.

[1:03:50] Alejandro: Who the fuck was that?

[1:03:52] Benny: Betty.

[1:03:53] Alejandro: Are you seeing someone?

[1:03:54] Benny: Not in the conventional sense.

[1:03:55] Alejandro: Oh my fucking God.

[1:03:56] Benny: Isn't that what you're thinking?

[1:03:58] Alejandro: I thought.

[1:03:58] Benny: What have we been?

[1:04:00] Alejandro: What the fuck are we doing here?

[1:04:01] Benny: I was lonely.

[1:04:02] Alejandro: Alej, I need a body next to me.

[1:04:05] Benny: No, stop.

[1:04:05] Alejandro: I bruise easy.

[1:04:07] Benny: Betty is someone I met recently.

[1:04:09] Benny: It's it's not a sexual thing, but we're both lonely.

[1:04:13] Alejandro: You're gay!

[1:04:14] Benny: Sexuality is a spectrum, Alej.

[1:04:17] Alejandro: Oh, I'm gonna go, Benny.

[1:04:18] Alejandro: I'm gonna walk away from you now, and I will.

[1:04:22] Alejandro: I need to get away from you.

[1:04:23] Benny: Yup.

[1:04:24] Alejandro: That's what I need to do.

[1:04:25] Benny: He gets up and walks away.

[1:04:26] Alejandro: I'm gonna find find out why I left, I promise.

[1:04:29] Benny: Fuck off.

[1:04:30] Benny: Oblivious and content, gets up and goes in Betty's direction.

[1:04:34] Cupid: Time begins to slow down again.

[1:04:36] Cupid: Raindrops hanging in midair swirl together until they form Cupid and Valentine.

[1:04:41] Valentine: Now I look embarrassed.

[1:04:43] Cupid: I stare between the scene in front of me and Valentine's face.

[1:04:46] Cupid: I begin to laugh.

[1:04:48] Cupid: Slowly and quietly until I'm laughing as hard as I can in Valentine's face.

[1:04:59] Cupid: You're a complete fucking idiot.

[1:05:04] Valentine: So they're a little rough around the edges.

[1:05:08] Cupid: Oh Rough, these pendejos are drain wrecks.

[1:05:12] Cupid: I feel it in my gut, my balls, my my halo.

[1:05:16] Valentine: You are looking at the greatest love story of the century, Cupid.

[1:05:19] Cupid: Oh let's take them on a journey.

[1:05:23] Cupid: Music interrupts them.

[1:05:25] Cupid: A poet's interjection.

[1:05:27] Cupid: Journey.

[1:05:28] Cupid: Capital J.

[1:05:29] Cupid: Is a magical adventure that you know what?

[1:05:31] Cupid: Just fucking watch the scene and you'll find out.

[1:05:36] Valentine: Are you out of your mind?

[1:05:38] Cupid: Them?

[1:05:39] Valentine: Our journeys are to be given to those who deserve it.

[1:05:42] Cupid: And besides, even when I was happy go lucky Cupid, shooting people in the ass with arrows.

[1:05:48] Cupid: A journey.

[1:05:51] Cupid: We took a couple on a journey, what once a millennia?

[1:05:56] Cupid: If that.

[1:05:57] Valentine: Then let's do one more.

[1:05:59] Valentine: As uh a goodbye.

[1:06:01] Cupid: I stare at Valentine hard.

[1:06:04] Cupid: I think you're wrong.

[1:06:07] Cupid: The world is shit on top of Layered shit, yes.

[1:06:11] Cupid: But you used to know more than anyone that love was the only steady thing in the chaos.

[1:06:17] Cupid: The rock we grabbed onto for safety.

[1:06:20] Cupid: Please.

[1:06:22] Cupid: One more time.

[1:06:24] Cupid: For me, for them, and for you.

[1:06:27] Cupid: A long pause as I stare at Valentine, and then at Alejandro and Benny.

[1:06:33] Cupid: At this point in time, Betty has begun to pass by Cupid and Valentine.

[1:06:37] Cupid: With time slowed, she can't see me, but I see her.

[1:06:42] Cupid: My hand reaches out to touch Betty's hair.

[1:06:45] Cupid: I make a decision.

[1:06:46] Cupid: Fine.

[1:06:47] Cupid: I'll do it.

[1:06:48] Valentine: Yes!

[1:06:49] Cupid: What were you thinking?

[1:06:50] Cupid: We take them each on a separate journey as far and as wide as we can make it.

[1:06:55] Cupid: Then we bring them together in the end.

[1:06:57] Cupid: I call dips on Alejandro.

[1:06:58] Valentine: You can take the sexually confused boy.

[1:07:00] Cupid: I'm alright with that.

[1:07:01] Cupid: I like confused.

[1:07:02] Cupid: Shits like vanilla icing for me.

[1:07:05] Cupid: I speak to my gun.

[1:07:07] Cupid: It's been a while, Loca, but wake up.

[1:07:11] Cupid: I blow on the gun.

[1:07:12] Cupid: The gun begins to vibrate slowly, then faster and faster, changing color into a vivid blue.

[1:07:17] Cupid: It looks like I'm holding lightning in my hands.

[1:07:20] Cupid: It's been a very long time since I've done this.

[1:07:23] Cupid: I nearly drop the gun, my arms vibrating painfully with it.

[1:07:26] Valentine: I get behind her and brace her.

[1:07:29] Valentine: Hey.

[1:07:29] Cupid: I look at him, afraid and excited.

[1:07:32] Valentine: You got this.

[1:07:32] Cupid: I smile at him.

[1:07:34] Cupid: With a tremendous effort, I level the gun towards Alejandro.

[1:07:40] Cupid: I breathe out deep.

[1:07:44] Cupid: Bang.

[1:07:46] Cupid: Bang.

[1:07:47] Cupid: I let go.

[1:07:48] Cupid: The gun shoots with a tremendous crack of thunder.

[1:07:51] Cupid: It shoots through Alejandro and in the blink of the eye loops around and pierces Benny through his chest.

[1:07:56] Cupid: Then time resumes normally.

[1:07:59] Cupid: Benny and Alejandro both grab at their chest in pain.

[1:08:02] Cupid: I move to Alejandro and Valentine moves close to Benny.

[1:08:05] Cupid: We speak quietly to them, like lovers.

[1:08:08] Cupid: Keep your heart tight, small, a ball, a speck, a raindrop.

[1:08:13] Cupid: Hide it behind layers of blood and fat.

[1:08:16] Cupid: Keep it bright enough to read by, never bright enough to expose your inner workings to the world.

[1:08:22] Cupid: Rip your chest open hard and fast.

[1:08:26] Cupid: Make it as wide as the sky.

[1:08:28] Cupid: Show the world your insides, your pain, your joy, and welcome them like Noah's Ark, one by one, two by two, into the glass museum of your cold, crooked heart.

[1:08:39] Cupid: Water begins to rise around Alejandro's feet, filling like an aquarium around them.

[1:08:44] Cupid: The sun lights up Valentine and Benny, brightening until it seems they are encased in lightning.

[1:08:49] Cupid: The world shakes, and in a blue-gold flash, the park is now empty.

[1:08:54] Cupid: Silence for a few moments until Betty walks on.

[1:08:57] Betty: I'm sorry, I definitely gave you my drink.

[1:09:00] Betty: This one has whole milk, which isn't bad exactly, but I drank like a third of it before I realized, and now I'd probably be in the bathroom all.

[1:09:13] Betty: Suddenly, I cry out in pain.

[1:09:16] Betty: Oh, what?

[1:09:17] Betty: The pain brings me to my knees.

[1:09:19] Betty: I scrabble at my back, trying to find where it's coming from.

[1:09:22] Betty: The scrubs on my back begin to balloon out like they're filling with air.

[1:09:25] Betty: The scrubs are then ripped off me as two beautiful feathered wings erupt from my back.

[1:09:31] Betty: Breathing hard, I stare at the wings in utter fear, shock, and wonder.

[1:09:35] Betty: Of their own accord, they begin to flap, lifting me clumsily from the ground.

[1:09:40] Betty: I float above the park in Hackensack, New Jersey for a few wing beats.

[1:09:44] Betty: I stare around me.

[1:09:47] Betty: What?

[1:09:48] Betty: What the fuck was with that milk?

[1:09:53] Cupid: Scene ten.

[1:09:56] Cupid: Strange colors move in front of our eyes.

[1:09:58] Cupid: Echoes of music and speech blare loudly, then as quiet as a whisper.

[1:10:02] Cupid: We are traveling to another world, a breath's distance away from our own.

[1:10:06] Cupid: The colors and sounds slam into place with a screech.

[1:10:10] Cupid: And then we are in a canyon, large, larger than the mind can hold.

[1:10:13] Cupid: Its cliffs make the Grand Canyon look like Nava.

[1:10:17] Cupid: In the center of the canyon is Benny sleeping.

[1:10:20] Cupid: We watch him dream for a moment.

[1:10:22] Cupid: He's having a sexy dream.

[1:10:26] Cupid: You too much.

[1:10:30] Cupid: A crash is heard in the distance.

[1:10:32] Benny: I wake up.

[1:10:34] Benny: What if I slap my face a few times?

[1:10:41] Benny: Hello?

[1:10:42] Benny: Hello.

[1:10:43] Benny: My voice echoes.

[1:10:44] Benny: I get up, unsteady.

[1:10:46] Benny: With no other options, I begin to walk, calling out periodically, hoping for a response.

[1:10:51] Benny: Hello?

[1:10:52] Benny: Anybody?

[1:10:54] Benny: I walk for miles, selecting a path at random as the cliffs divide and spread out like a maze around me.

[1:10:59] Benny: After a long time, the path ends.

[1:11:01] Benny: I stand in front of a cliff face, nowhere to go.

[1:11:04] Valentine: In a flash of light, I appear behind him.

[1:11:07] Valentine: I appear as an old man, long white beard, gnarled, and bent over a cane.

[1:11:12] Benny: Well, hello, yeah, young.

[1:11:12] Benny: I whip around, and in both fear and surprise, my hand lashes out.

[1:11:20] Benny: I punch Valentine in the nose.

[1:11:21] Valentine: Fuck me!

[1:11:22] Valentine: Impossible!

[1:11:22] Benny: I'm sorry, you surprised.

[1:11:22] Valentine: Oh, did I?

[1:11:27] Valentine: Did I surprise you, Benny?

[1:11:28] Valentine: That is fucking great.

[1:11:29] Valentine: That is just dandy.

[1:11:31] Valentine: Over the whole thing, he snaps.

[1:11:31] Valentine: His old man disguise melts away, and in a flash, he is now standing before Benny in his normal clothes.

[1:11:36] Benny: I am frozen into silence at the magic before me.

[1:11:39] Valentine: I rub my nose before glaring at Benny.

[1:11:42] Valentine: Ruined my entrance.

[1:11:44] Benny: I'm I'm sorry.

[1:11:46] Valentine: It's fine.

[1:11:48] Valentine: I was just gonna do this old man thing and then lead you on your journey, eventually revealing myself to be me.

[1:11:54] Benny: And you are?

[1:11:56] Valentine: Alright.

[1:11:57] Valentine: Um.

[1:11:59] Valentine: I am Valentine of Tierney, the patron saint of love.

[1:12:04] Valentine: Fireworks erupt around me.

[1:12:06] Benny: Nice to meet you.

[1:12:08] Valentine: Your nose is bleeding.

[1:12:09] Benny: What?

[1:12:10] Valentine: Mother Teresa.

[1:12:12] Valentine: I bend over, grabbing the end of Benny's shirt and covering up his nose with it.

[1:12:17] Valentine: This is not going according to plan.

[1:12:21] Benny: So who exactly are you?

[1:12:23] Benny: Valentine?

[1:12:24] Valentine: I just told you that.

[1:12:26] Valentine: This is your this is your problem with your relationships, Benny.

[1:12:31] Benny: You don't listen.

[1:12:32] Benny: I heard you.

[1:12:32] Benny: I'm just I don't know what's happening or where I am and what you're doing, and you just did magic.

[1:12:37] Valentine: I'm a Catholic saint.

[1:12:39] Valentine: I don't do magic.

[1:12:40] Valentine: I do miracles.

[1:12:41] Benny: Oh well.

[1:12:42] Benny: Well, good for fucking you, Joanna.

[1:12:44] Valentine: Can you just all will be revealed, my child.

[1:12:49] Benny: Can't you just stop blowing your nose on my shirt already?

[1:12:52] Benny: I push him off.

[1:12:54] Valentine: That's your other problem.

[1:12:55] Valentine: You push people away, Benny.

[1:12:59] Benny: I'm sorry, but what the fuck do you know?

[1:13:03] Valentine: Trust me, I know I'm the patron saint of lovers.

[1:13:06] Benny: What does that even fucking mean?

[1:13:08] Valentine: It means I know what the fuck I'm talking about.

[1:13:10] Benny: Look, you little shitty shit.

[1:13:11] Valentine: No, you look.

[1:13:13] Benny: I'm somewhere and I don't know what's going on.

[1:13:15] Benny: So explain to me who the fuck you are, where the fuck I am, or I'm gonna punch you in the face again.

[1:13:20] Valentine: They glare at each other.

[1:13:23] Benny: Fine.

[1:13:27] Valentine: Love is managed in the world by this bureaucratic system.

[1:13:32] Cupid: Cupid manages the love in the world, builds on the spark created by the poet.

[1:13:37] Benny: Cute.

[1:13:39] Benny: The little Greek god dude in diapers shooting arrows?

[1:13:42] Valentine: Well, yes, but no.

[1:13:43] Valentine: Cupid is not a he but a she, and she's not Greek, she's Latina, and she's upgraded from arrows to a shotgun back at the beginning of the 1900s.

[1:13:50] Valentine: Go with it, not important.

[1:13:52] Valentine: I'm Valentine of Tierney.

[1:13:54] Valentine: I'm a saint.

[1:13:55] Valentine: The 14th, my day.

[1:13:57] Valentine: While Cupid manages and regulates the love of the world, I assist in research.

[1:14:05] Benny: Research.

[1:14:06] Valentine: Yes, sir.

[1:14:07] Valentine: I'm a scholar.

[1:14:08] Valentine: My specific area of study is breakups.

[1:14:12] Valentine: The whys, the hows, and their impact on the nature of love as a whole.

[1:14:15] Benny: So you're the grad student of love?

[1:14:17] Valentine: Well, it's a little more complex than that.

[1:14:19] Benny: Well, why the fuck do I need you, then?

[1:14:21] Benny: It sounds like Cupid's doing all the work.

[1:14:22] Valentine: I am also intrical.

[1:14:31] Valentine: I am also an important part of the team that manages love, okay?

[1:14:36] Valentine: Look, we're coming off on our fucking agenda here.

[1:14:40] Valentine: You, Benny Randall, have been chosen by yours truly for a journey spiritual and physical.

[1:14:48] Valentine: That's why you're here.

[1:14:49] Benny: And where is here?

[1:14:51] Valentine: We are right.

[1:14:52] Valentine: He moves his finger in an elaborate pattern in front of Benny.

[1:14:55] Valentine: Then he pokes him in the chest above the heart, then on the forehead.

[1:14:59] Valentine: Beep boop.

[1:15:02] Valentine: We're in you, kid.

[1:15:05] Valentine: Think of this as your spiritual colonoscopy.

[1:15:09] Benny: Why me?

[1:15:10] Valentine: Because you and Alejandro could be.

[1:15:15] Valentine: Let's just say you guys have potential.

[1:15:19] Benny: Alright.

[1:15:23] Benny: Lead the way.

[1:15:26] Benny: Where?

[1:15:28] Valentine: It's your journey.

[1:15:29] Valentine: You tell me.

[1:15:31] Benny: We're at a dead end.

[1:15:32] Valentine: Valentine moves in close to Benny.

[1:15:34] Benny: Benny backs up against the wall.

[1:15:36] Valentine: Valentine rests his hand on the wall behind Benny and smiles at him.

[1:15:40] Valentine: His face inches from his.

[1:15:43] Valentine: Normally I'd give you a spiel about dead ends, beginnings, and how sometimes you have to push through the hard rock to get to the truth.

[1:15:50] Valentine: But we're kinda on a time limit here, so let's not say we did.

[1:15:53] Valentine: Valentine knocks on the wall.

[1:15:55] Valentine: An opening appears behind Benny, and unprepared, he goes tumbling through.

[1:15:59] Valentine: Valentine cracks his knuckles and prepares to dive in after him, but he stops as he hears a far-off sound.

[1:16:11] Betty: Betty slams into the ground behind Valentine, her head in the dirt, her wings splayed pathetically around her.

[1:16:17] Valentine: Betty?

[1:16:17] Betty: Betty quickly yanks her head from the ground.

[1:16:20] Betty: What?

[1:16:20] Betty: She looks around and sees Valentine.

[1:16:23] Betty: Oh, it's not.

[1:16:25] Betty: Oh.

[1:16:25] Valentine: Disappointed?

[1:16:27] Betty: A little.

[1:16:28] Valentine: Sorry.

[1:16:28] Betty: Nothing against you.

[1:16:30] Betty: I'm still getting the hang of bees.

[1:16:32] Betty: She flaps her wings.

[1:16:33] Betty: She flaps a little too hard, nearly sending Valentine's robes flying up.

[1:16:37] Valentine: Oh, careful!

[1:16:38] Betty: I'm sorry!

[1:16:39] Betty: Like I said, I'm sick.

[1:16:40] Valentine: It's okay, you just surprised me.

[1:16:42] Valentine: I go commando under this thing.

[1:16:44] Betty: Wait.

[1:16:46] Betty: You have wings.

[1:16:48] Valentine: Betty.

[1:16:49] Valentine: You have wings!

[1:16:51] Valentine: You have her wings!

[1:16:52] Betty: Uh, yes.

[1:16:53] Betty: Yes, I do.

[1:16:54] Valentine: Here's wings.

[1:16:56] Valentine: Valentine joyously grabs Betty in a hug and starts swinging her around in a happy dance.

[1:17:01] Betty: Who are you?

[1:17:03] Betty: Right.

[1:17:03] Betty: Sorry, I've only seen you from afar.

[1:17:05] Betty: Uh St. Valentine of Tierney?

[1:17:09] Betty: The Saint Valentine?

[1:17:11] Betty: Like Valentine's Day?

[1:17:12] Betty: That St. Valentine's?

[1:17:14] Valentine: Yes.

[1:17:14] Valentine: At your service.

[1:17:16] Betty: How the fuck did you end up here?

[1:17:18] Valentine: Well, I was with a friend.

[1:17:20] Valentine: Well, he's kind of my faux non-romantic, non-sexual boyfriend friend.

[1:17:25] Valentine: Anyway, I was waiting for Benny while he chatted with his ex-boyfriend, and then he disappeared, and then these guys popped out of my back, and I thought it might be some kind of chemical in the milk that might have done it.

[1:17:36] Valentine: So I flapped my wings over to the local news station to let them know.

[1:17:39] Valentine: But then the breeze kept pushing me away.

[1:17:42] Valentine: I mean, do you have any experience in flying?

[1:17:45] Cupid: Personally, no.

[1:17:46] Cupid: An old love of mine would take me with her flying, though.

[1:17:49] Cupid: It was always breathtaking.

[1:17:52] Betty: Yeah, no, not for me.

[1:17:54] Betty: It's much harder than it looks.

[1:17:56] Betty: Like a never-ending cardio class.

[1:17:59] Betty: Makes you realize how much work pigeons are doing through every day.

[1:18:06] Valentine: So when I couldn't get to the news station, I thought maybe I should find Benny and tell him that one, I have wings, and two, maybe it would be best that we stopped our studio dating, because I saw the way that Alejandro was looking at him, and I thought, wow, I definitely do not look at Benny in that way.

[1:18:25] Betty: No offense to Benny, of course.

[1:18:28] Cupid: Well, of course.

[1:18:29] Cupid: He's very handsome, just you know.

[1:18:33] Betty: So, when I thought of Benny, I heard a snap, and then this huge wind came, like hurricane level, and just blew me like a pebble through the sky.

[1:18:41] Betty: Like I literally went through the sky like glass, and then I fell.

[1:18:46] Betty: How is my landing?

[1:18:48] Valentine: Graceful?

[1:18:49] Benny: Oh, you know, it was like uh definitely kind of an argument.

[1:18:53] Benny: It was bad.

[1:18:54] Cupid: Yeah.

[1:18:55] Cupid: I'm sorry, you look like a duck who got shot out of the sky.

[1:18:58] Betty: Mr. Just Valentine.

[1:19:01] Valentine: Valentine.

[1:19:03] Valentine: You're obviously an important person in this world.

[1:19:10] Betty: Thank you.

[1:19:13] Betty: Thank you so much.

[1:19:13] Betty: I feel like no one ever gets me around here.

[1:19:17] Betty: You know what I mean?

[1:19:18] Betty: Can you tell me what's happening to me?

[1:19:23] Valentine: You said earlier, her wings.

[1:19:26] Valentine: Are these Valentine looks at the door where Benny fell.

[1:19:29] Valentine: I wish I could stay, sweetheart, but I need to run.

[1:19:32] Valentine: Besides, I think there's someone else you should hear from.

[1:19:34] Valentine: He kisses her on the forehead.

[1:19:36] Valentine: Give her a message for me.

[1:19:37] Valentine: He whispers something in her ear.

[1:19:40] Valentine: Now, take her to Cupid.

[1:19:42] Betty: Who?

[1:19:43] Cupid: Her wings flap violently of their own accord and yank Betty into the air.

[1:19:47] Betty: Screaming, trying to hold on to the ground, she is yanked upwards in a violent wind.

[1:19:51] Valentine: Valentine waves, then whistling, dives in after Benny.

[1:19:54] Cupid: Scene 11.

[1:19:56] Cupid: A moment, and then we sink into the ground of the canyon, falling through hundreds of layers of dirt at lightning speed.

[1:20:02] Cupid: We fall with a splash into an ocean.

[1:20:04] Cupid: An ocean of the deepest blue imaginable.

[1:20:21] Cupid: The Cupid.

[1:20:23] Cupid: Launica.

[1:20:24] Cupid: And since when is Cupid a Latina?

[1:20:27] Cupid: Did you really think Cupid could be anything but?

[1:20:36] Cupid: Say high five.

[1:20:38] Cupid: So now what?

[1:20:40] Cupid: Well, my partner in these things likes to take people on journeys that are intricate, filled with put a costumes y pendejadas.

[1:20:48] Cupid: But you don't seem like the type that deals in that.

[1:20:52] Cupid: You're honest.

[1:20:53] Cupid: Completamente.

[1:20:55] Cupid: So if I were to ask you point blank, what issues do you have with love, with intimacy, sex with your boyfriend.

[1:21:05] Cupid: With your ex-boyfriend, you would be able to give me an honest answer.

[1:21:10] Alejandro: Yeah.

[1:21:11] Alejandro: Okay, so Alejandro Diaz, what issues do you have with love?

[1:21:16] Alejandro: None.

[1:21:18] Cupid: Really?

[1:21:19] Alejandro: None.

[1:21:20] Alejandro: I think I'm a healthy person.

[1:21:23] Alejandro: Mentally, physically.

[1:21:24] Alejandro: I've been going to therapy for a few years now, and yeah, I don't think I have any issues.

[1:21:32] Cupid: Cupid stares for another moment and smiles.

[1:21:35] Cupid: She lifts off the ground and floats in the water, lazily, delicately luxuriating in it.

[1:21:40] Cupid: She does that for a few minutes, spinning and twirling around Alejandro.

[1:21:44] Cupid: Yeah?

[1:21:46] Cupid: We wait.

[1:21:48] Alejandro: Wait for what?

[1:21:48] Cupid: For you to stop being a bobo and be honest with me.

[1:21:52] Cupid: Cupid floats in the heart of Alejandro's ocean, and she waits patiently.

[1:21:57] Alejandro: Alejandro, stubborn in the way only a Latino male can be, sits pointedly.

[1:22:03] Alejandro: My answer ain't changing.

[1:22:05] Alejandro: It's final.

[1:22:06] Alejandro: So when you ready to take me out of here, you let me know.

[1:22:11] Cupid: Cupid just floats.

[1:22:13] Cupid: We slam back to Valentine, who has just fallen into the hole.

[1:22:16] Valentine: He falls through darkness and suddenly he lands in a bedroom.

[1:22:19] Valentine: Something has changed with Benny.

[1:22:22] Valentine: His mask of humor, silliness, and sass has fallen away.

[1:22:27] Benny: Sorry, I got caught up with He looks around the bedroom.

[1:22:31] Benny: So this is where we landed, huh?

[1:22:36] Benny: I would have thought it would have been the first time you met Alejandro or something.

[1:22:39] Benny: Why did you bring me here?

[1:22:40] Valentine: This is your journey, Benny.

[1:22:42] Valentine: I didn't bring you anywhere.

[1:22:43] Benny: Well, take me the fuck out.

[1:22:45] Valentine: Valentine doesn't respond.

[1:22:47] Benny: Benny gets up, and it almost looks like he's going to strike Valentine.

[1:22:52] Valentine: Valentine makes no move to stop him.

[1:22:55] Benny: Benny breathes out and goes to a corner of the room.

[1:22:57] Benny: Just please, I don't want to be here, okay?

[1:23:00] Benny: I'd like to go.

[1:23:01] Valentine: We can go.

[1:23:02] Benny: Good.

[1:23:03] Benny: There's the door.

[1:23:04] Valentine: He gestures to a plain white door behind him.

[1:23:08] Benny: I'm not going through there.

[1:23:09] Valentine: Why?

[1:23:11] Benny: Because I'm not.

[1:23:12] Benny: Use your magic or your miracles or what the fuck ever and take us back where we came from.

[1:23:18] Valentine: Do you have any idea where you brought me?

[1:23:20] Benny: No.

[1:23:22] Benny: It's my bedroom.

[1:23:24] Benny: From when I was a child.

[1:23:25] Benny: It's my bedroom.

[1:23:26] Benny: And I'd like to go.

[1:23:31] Benny: Please, just I'd like to go.

[1:23:34] Valentine: I would if I could.

[1:23:36] Valentine: Really.

[1:23:37] Benny: Benny stares at him, furious for another moment.

[1:23:40] Benny: Then the anger fades.

[1:23:41] Benny: He goes to the bed and sits, putting his head on his knees.

[1:23:45] Valentine: After a few moments, Valentine sits on the bed near him, but not too near.

[1:23:50] Valentine: Valentine looks at the door in front of them.

[1:23:52] Valentine: The door is darker than the rest of the room.

[1:23:57] Valentine: I'm happy to have you leave here.

[1:24:01] Valentine: But the only way we can go is through that.

[1:24:04] Benny: Just give me a minute, please.

[1:24:06] Valentine: Take all the time you need.

[1:24:08] Valentine: He waits.

[1:24:09] Cupid: And now we're back in the ocean.

[1:24:11] Cupid: Cupid has waited in silence for a long time now.

[1:24:13] Cupid: Alejandro is getting more and more pissed.

[1:24:18] Alejandro: Yo, are we gonna just sit here for the rest of time?

[1:24:22] Cupid: Maybe.

[1:24:22] Cupid: I'm willing.

[1:24:23] Cupid: I quit my job so I got all the time I need.

[1:24:26] Alejandro: Didn't you tell me this shit was supposed to be a journey?

[1:24:29] Cupid: Yeah, you would have wanted Valentine for that.

[1:24:33] Cupid: He does the whole winding path, miles and miles of revelations thing.

[1:24:38] Alejandro: Mwa?

[1:24:39] Cupid: I believe that a journey is just beginning, middle, and end.

[1:24:42] Cupid: And you can get to the end without taking a step.

[1:24:45] Cupid: She floats lazily.

[1:24:47] Cupid: They hear an enormous splash way above them.

[1:24:50] Alejandro: What was that?

[1:24:51] Cupid: I have no idea.

[1:24:53] Cupid: They look up, then they swim away as fast as possible as a giant white ball comes careening towards them.

[1:24:59] Cupid: The ball hits the ocean floor and bounces.

[1:25:01] Cupid: The ball unfurls and reveals Betty, majestic as her wings spread wide.

[1:25:06] Cupid: For a moment she looks like some underwater angel painted on a fresco.

[1:25:10] Cupid: Unbelievably beautiful.

[1:25:11] Cupid: Cupid is enraptured for a moment.

[1:25:17] Cupid: Water!

[1:25:18] Cupid: Water!

[1:25:18] Cupid: Gabriel!

[1:25:20] Cupid: Cupid swims quickly to her.

[1:25:21] Cupid: Betty, breathe.

[1:25:22] Cupid: You can breathe in this water.

[1:25:24] Cupid: It's okay.

[1:25:24] Cupid: Breathe!

[1:25:25] Cupid: She hits her back a few times.

[1:25:37] Betty: You callete.

[1:25:38] Betty: Where am I?

[1:25:39] Betty: Where did you get those wings?

[1:25:40] Cupid: Well, it's kind of a long story.

[1:25:42] Cupid: They are interrupted by music.

[1:25:44] Cupid: A poet's second to last interjection.

[1:25:46] Cupid: Damas, I caballeros.

[1:25:48] Cupid: You know this next part.

[1:25:49] Cupid: Let's skip ahead, because ain't nobody got time for any more exposition.

[1:25:54] Cupid: So he told my wings to go to Cupid.

[1:25:58] Cupid: Is that well, obviously it's you, Cupid, Cupida.

[1:26:05] Cupid: I would have figured that out for myself, I think.

[1:26:09] Cupid: I can do like 10% of the New York Times crossword puzzle by myself.

[1:26:14] Cupid: Yes, I'm Cupid.

[1:26:18] Betty: Oh.

[1:26:20] Betty: No wonder you look like hope.

[1:26:23] Cupid: They smile at each other.

[1:26:27] Cupid: Hello.

[1:26:28] Betty: Oh yeah, I'm still stuck here.

[1:26:30] Betty: And now I'm I am not only stuck with you, but now I have to share space with the woman who is dating my ex.

[1:26:39] Cupid: Oh.

[1:26:39] Cupid: Yes.

[1:26:40] Cupid: Hi again.

[1:26:43] Cupid: Hi.

[1:26:45] Cupid: If it helps we never slept together.

[1:26:47] Betty: Okay, doesn't really matter.

[1:26:49] Betty: We tried once, but it was all right.

[1:26:53] Betty: Whatever, I don't need to get into this whole you took my man riff, so nice wings.

[1:27:00] Cupid: Oh, thank you so much.

[1:27:02] Cupid: But apparently they're not mine.

[1:27:04] Cupid: They're yours.

[1:27:07] Cupid: Kind of.

[1:27:08] Cupid: Mind haven't been these clean and nice since the Renaissance.

[1:27:13] Cupid: But I give up the whole God of love thing.

[1:27:16] Cupid: The only reason I'm still hanging around was because Valentine.

[1:27:19] Betty: Right.

[1:27:19] Cupid: He has a message for you.

[1:27:21] Cupid: Valentine?

[1:27:22] Cupid: Yes.

[1:27:22] Cupid: He said.

[1:27:23] Cupid: Almost there.

[1:27:24] Cupid: See you at the finish line.

[1:27:25] Cupid: Cupid freezes.

[1:27:27] Cupid: What did he mean by that?

[1:27:28] Cupid: Cupid whips around to Alejandro and points her gun at his head.

[1:27:31] Cupid: Fucking fuck!

[1:27:34] Alejandro: What are you doing?

[1:27:35] Cupid: You pendomeg with the honesty and revelation.

[1:27:38] Alejandro: Oh, what the fuck?

[1:27:40] Cupid: Look.

[1:27:40] Cupid: I know this is supposed to be about the lovers, and this isn't a competition, but it's also not not a competition.

[1:27:46] Cupid: And the eons, we've been doing this.

[1:27:48] Cupid: I have never gotten to the finish with my lover after Valentine and his.

[1:27:52] Cupid: I'm not leaving this world with him winning.

[1:27:55] Cupid: So you talk about your feelings.

[1:27:58] Alejandro: Okay, dale pues you go deputable.

[1:28:00] Cupid: Places the barrel of her gun against Alejandro's forehead. Speak, Alejandro, speak!

[1:28:08] Alejandro: What's you got? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

[1:28:10] Cupid: Cocks the gun. I don't know how to love without shame.

[1:28:15] Cupid: Okay. Slowly puts the gun away. Was that so hard?

[1:28:23] Cupid: A small moment of silence as she realizes she may have been a bit harsh. She pats his head awkwardly. They're there. Tranquilo.

[1:28:36] Cupid: The ocean shakes around them. The ocean parts. The waters retreat around them. They all spit out water, shake out their clothes, etc. They are now standing on empty earth.

[1:28:47] Cupid: Stares at Alejandro a few moments while he coughs and wrings out his shirt. She kneels down closely to him. Do you know why I quit being cupid?

[1:29:00] Alejandro: You got tired of it?

[1:29:02] Cupid: Sure. But deeper than that.

[1:29:06] Alejandro: You couldn't stand all the horrible things of the past century.

[1:29:10] Cupid: Yes. But even more than that. Deeper. Why?

[1:29:18] Cupid: Because of Lena Pruitt and Dale Davis.

[1:29:23] Alejandro: Are they on a reality show or something?

[1:29:27] Cupid: They were a couple who lived in Boston. They were the last couple I helped create. They were perfection. Alejandro. Beyond perfection.

[1:29:36] Cupid: They both came from the most racist areas in Boston. She was black, he was white. Every statistic, all logic should have had them hating each other. But for some reason, when they met, it worked.

[1:29:52] Cupid: They had been raised to distrust everyone that didn't look like them, but for some reason the two of them worked. Their families disowned them. They were threatened with violence. So they left.

[1:30:04] Cupid: With tight smiles for each other and their hands so tight they went numb. They left everyone and everything they knew because they believed in love.

[1:30:14] Alejandro: And uh what happened to them?

[1:30:17] Cupid: The love changed. They were together for ten years and then it just changed. They started to fight over things here and there. And it got worse and worse until all they did was fight over little things.

[1:30:31] Cupid: Because they knew if they even mentioned the big things, it would have been over. And nothing worked. Nothing at all.

[1:30:41] Cupid: They're still together. Have some kids who are learning about regret and mistakes through their parents, but when I realized that the love they once had was gone for good.

[1:30:59] Cupid: She touches his face. What did you do when Benny thought there was a problem?

[1:31:07] Alejandro: He ended things.

[1:31:08] Cupid: Alejandro. He said he wasn't sure.

[1:31:12] Cupid: He was trying to tell you something under the bubbling words. But the minute he brought up the possibility of a breakup, the possibility of hurting you.

[1:31:23] Alejandro: I left.

[1:31:28] Cupid: So do you know things?

[1:31:31] Alejandro: Some.

[1:31:41] Alejandro: Drunk on Captain Morgan. He kissed me under the covers. A quick peck. But his lips. It felt like your nerves woke up for the first time in your life. It was a good kiss.

[1:31:53] Alejandro: I thought so. Until I threw up.

[1:31:57] Cupid: Oh God, not on him.

[1:31:59] Alejandro: Yeah. On him. And you know why I threw up?

[1:32:04] Cupid: The rum?

[1:32:06] Alejandro: Well, yeah. But also when he kissed me, I felt this shame hit me. Shame I didn't even know I had just flexed when his lips touched mine.

[1:32:19] Alejandro: I could see it all over my body. My skin looked wrong. My face felt twisted, and all this anger and confusion and every other negative feeling you can name just started a congo line inside my head.

[1:32:35] Alejandro: First kisses shouldn't be that. They should be nothing but joy. And as I grew up, I learned about that shame that a lot of queer people have and associate with ourselves.

[1:32:51] Alejandro: And I worked on it. A lot. I thought I had outgrew that shit until the night Benny brought up us breaking up, and I felt it again.

[1:33:04] Alejandro: Shame next to my heart. Small but there, like a little cancer that just flexed.

[1:33:11] Cupid: Yeah.

[1:33:13] Alejandro: I grabbed the closest pair of scissors and I cut away all the cords connecting me to Benny because I didn't want to feel that again. Or I guess it never really went away. Did it?

[1:33:28] Cupid: No.

[1:33:31] Alejandro: I just want to love. Like love on someone, love on Benny, and just without feeling bad in the way, way back of my mind. I just want to love. I just want to.

[1:33:41] Alejandro: I just want to fuck and love. Like Romeo and Juliet. I just want to love without shame.

[1:33:55] Cupid: How?

[1:33:57] Alejandro: Take all the shame you have in your chest and throw it up. Make it into a black sky above your head. Push at it like Atlas did. Hold it up. Deal with it. Bear it. Alejo. Ask Benny to help you. Hold up your burden. Your shame. Stop running.

[1:34:20] Cupid: Alright. The waters of the ocean begin to flow back. With a mind of their own, tendrils of the ocean snake around Cupid and make a beeline for Alejandro.

[1:34:31] Betty: Avoids the water by flapping her wings and floating above. The water surges around Alejandro, spinning, rising, until it becomes a whirling tower of water. A tornado higher than anything.

[1:34:43] Cupid: A snap is heard. And the water falls like rain on Betty and Cupid. Alejandro is gone.

[1:34:49] Cupid: Wow.

[1:34:50] Betty: Hmm. You're incredible.

[1:34:53] Cupid: Oh. Thank you. It's just whatever. It's just my job. Or was my job.

[1:35:03] Betty: You're nicer than you think.

[1:35:05] Cupid: No, I'm not. I'm mean and bitter and dead inside.

[1:35:11] Betty: What do we do now?

[1:35:14] Cupid: We'll follow him. Do you mind?

[1:35:17] Betty: Giving me a ride.

[1:35:19] Cupid: Okay. She flies over to Cupid and takes her hands. But how do I fly down into Oh, you just need to go up.

[1:35:26] Betty: But he went down.

[1:35:27] Cupid: It's a metaphor. Just fly up. I'll show you the right way. Holding her hands tightly, Betty begins to fly up.

[1:35:34] Betty: So you know things about people's lives?

[1:35:37] Cupid: Some things. It's a god thing. And a lot of things like first kisses, first loves, lots of firsts.

[1:35:45] Betty: Oh. Do you know things about parents?

[1:35:50] Cupid: Like my parents, just as an example?

[1:35:52] Cupid: Sure. Yeah. Interesting.

[1:35:55] Cupid: Interesting. A few wing beats. The world around them is speeding by in bright flashes.

[1:36:01] Betty: Did they? So there was no love there, right?

[1:36:06] Cupid: Is that what they told you?

[1:36:08] Betty: Yes. They said it was just for the papers.

[1:36:11] Cupid: Liars. That was part of it, sure, but trust me, for a while they were all fireworks and making love.

[1:36:17] Betty: Really?

[1:36:18] Cupid: She throws her hands in the air and pumps. Oh my god! And here?

[1:36:22] Betty: I always thought they were just. I thought I could never ever find love because I wasn't.

[1:36:27] Cupid: That's incredible! That's she realizes she has dropped Cupid, who is now falling, screaming. Oh fuck!

[1:36:33] Betty: I got you! She dives after her. Back in Alejandro's bedroom.

[1:36:38] Valentine: Has not moved an inch. Benny is still sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. Benny, how you doing?

[1:36:50] Valentine: This is where he grew up, hmm? This is a memory. Colored with how you felt in the moment of living it and how you remember it now.

[1:37:03] Valentine: We're in your childhood bedroom. And it's the middle of the night outside. And it looks like a great bedroom. Toys everywhere, posters up.

[1:37:17] Valentine: The only thing that looks wrong is that door. That door looks scary. Scary in the way only a child can experience scary.

[1:37:29] Valentine: Nothing but raw emotion without the experience or tools to deal with it. Benny. What happened here?

[1:37:44] Benny: You have any experience with pain?

[1:37:48] Valentine: I've had my fair share.

[1:37:50] Benny: Me too. He sits up and stares at the door. Before Alejandro, I felt like I had nothing but pain.

[1:37:59] Benny: My first kiss. Motherfucker bit me.

[1:38:03] Valentine: Like sexy?

[1:38:05] Benny: No, like hard. My tongue was bleeding. My first kiss was pain.

[1:38:11] Benny: The first time I had sex. Painful.

[1:38:16] Valentine: Hell yes. I didn't know anything about anything, so I met this guy off Craigslist.

[1:38:22] Benny: Craigslist.

[1:38:23] Valentine: Yes, that shit was pre-grinded. I had no idea how to do anything. And I was so excited to do it, I was just like, fuck me.

[1:38:32] Benny: No loo?

[1:38:32] Valentine: Not a drop.

[1:38:33] Benny: Oh my god, assholes crying. Imagine how I felt.

[1:38:40] Benny: I'm telling you. It's like my first relationship was pain. Pain took me out on a date and he liked me, and then he didn't call me after he fucked me.

[1:38:50] Valentine: Asshole.

[1:38:52] Benny: Hmm. Pain saw the insecure I really am behind all this ass and ran like a roadrunner, and whoosh. Pain didn't take me to my grandparents' anniversary.

[1:39:03] Benny: Pain stood me up. Pain, pain, pain. And was there pain here in this room?

[1:39:15] Valentine: Pain touched me when I was nine.

[1:39:19] Benny: Not here. Not here. But this was my room, and I could go through my normal day and not think about it.

[1:39:29] Benny: I'd go to school during the day, play with my siblings, and after I wouldn't think about it once. Until it got to this time of night.

[1:39:38] Benny: When it was just me, this room, and darkness. Nothing to distract me from thinking about it. And that door.

[1:39:49] Benny: When I couldn't sleep, I'd look over at that door, and in the dead of night, I would just wish that my heart could just run through and go to my mom's room and explain to her everything that was going on in my head, and I'd stare at that door as hard as I could, and I I would just beg with my eyes for someone to come through and just explain to me everything that was going on.

[1:40:13] Benny: Gets off the bed. Since I was nine, I always thought that when I met a guy, I would. You know, he would take away all of this room, this this room, that door, all the pain that I collected up in my chest.

[1:40:28] Benny: He would just scoop it out, and I would be whole. It's not like that. Not it fucking all. In fact, I think it's harder to deal with the dark corners of your mind when you're in love.

[1:40:41] Valentine: The light of love, good, healthy love is bright. Puts a light on everything you packed away, puts it out in the open so you can't help but see it.

[1:40:54] Benny: The night we broke up, Aleho and I. I could feel this room creeping up on me like a storm, and I You never told him about what happened to you?

[1:41:05] Valentine: No. Too scared.

[1:41:07] Benny: Size, if I talked about it. You'd have to deal with it.

[1:41:11] Valentine: Yeah, and I didn't feel like it was worth it. That I was worth it to bring him into this mess.

[1:41:18] Benny: You sure that's really the reason you didn't tell him?

[1:41:22] Valentine: No. Damn, you're pushy.

[1:41:33] Benny: Points to the bedroom door. I wanted him to break through the door, see everything that was wrong with me, and just heal it.

[1:41:44] Valentine: That's some high fucking expectations.

[1:41:48] Benny: It's what happens in all the love stories.

[1:41:51] Valentine: As my cupid would tell you, love stories are pure madre. It's bullshit, Benny.

[1:41:59] Benny: How's he gonna know if you don't tell him?

[1:42:01] Valentine: You're right. Thank you, Valentine.

[1:42:04] Benny: My pleasure. Benny slowly turns and looks at the door. Valentine gets up from the bed and gets behind him, squeezes his shoulders.

[1:42:14] Valentine: Like ripping a band-aid. With a big breath, Benny goes to the door and wrenches it open as hard and as fast as he can.

[1:42:22] Valentine: As he opens the door, a light, brighter than the stars, brighter than the sun, takes over everything we see. As the light fades, we see Benny standing in Alejandro's bedroom. He looks around for a few moments in silence, unsure. There is a grunt, and we see the bed in the left corner of the room lift for a moment, as if pushed from below.

[1:42:41] Alejandro: pulls himself out from under the bed, breathing hard.

[1:42:45] Alejandro: Why the fuck did I come out under the bed?

[1:42:48] Alejandro: He gets up and brushes the dust from his legs.

[1:42:51] Alejandro: Benny and Alejandro look at each other for a long moment in silence.

[1:42:54] Alejandro: They drink each other in like it's the first time they are really seeing each other.

[1:42:58] Alejandro: The magic, the journey, the unbelievable, and the impossible evaporate.

[1:43:03] Alejandro: And it's just Alejandro and Benny looking at each other, as real as can be.

[1:43:10] Alejandro: It's you.

[1:43:12] Benny: Me.

[1:43:13] Alejandro: It's you.

[1:43:15] Benny: Me.

[1:43:16] Alejandro: They slowly walk and meet in the middle of the room.

[1:43:19] Alejandro: Their hands reach out and touch each other, exploring each other, unsure, almost afraid.

[1:43:26] Alejandro: You they kiss, then hug each other as hard as they can.

[1:43:30] Alejandro: They stop when they hear a noise.

[1:43:32] Cupid: Screaming a battle cry, Cupid comes flying through the window with a crash, and at the exact same moment, Valentine appears in a golden flash.

[1:43:39] Valentine: My window!

[1:43:41] Cupid: I win!

[1:43:42] Valentine: The fuck you do!

[1:43:43] Cupid: You teleported here.

[1:43:45] Valentine: I saw it's not like you took a brain out.

[1:43:48] Cupid: That's your fault.

[1:43:48] Valentine: I just have the windows.

[1:43:57] Cupid: Stop.

[1:44:04] Valentine: We'll talk about this later.

[1:44:05] Cupid: Yeah, that's okay.

[1:44:06] Valentine: Yeah, it's fine.

[1:44:07] Alejandro: They all look at each other.

[1:44:10] Alejandro: I'm Alejandro.

[1:44:11] Valentine: Saint Valentine.

[1:44:12] Cupid: I'm Cupid, God of love.

[1:44:14] Benny: And Benny, his ex-boyfriend.

[1:44:19] Cupid: Thank you for everything really.

[1:44:20] Alejandro: That was just uh We hear a thump from Alejandro's closet.

[1:44:26] Betty: And I'm Betty, the dental dentist.

[1:44:32] Alejandro: goes to the closet and opens it wide.

[1:44:35] Betty: Betty, her wings tucked, comes rolling out.

[1:44:37] Betty: She looks around the room.

[1:44:39] Betty: I'm lazy.

[1:44:39] Cupid: No!

[1:44:40] Valentine: No.

[1:44:41] Cupid: Well God damn it.

[1:44:43] Cupid: Wait, Cupid, we were flying up and then we all came from different directions.

[1:44:48] Cupid: It's a metaphor.

[1:44:50] Betty: walks.

[1:44:55] Betty: walks over to Benny and takes his hands.

[1:44:58] Betty: Benny, I think this is kind of moot at this point, but we should break up.

[1:45:04] Benny: Betty, why do you have wings?

[1:45:06] Betty: And I'm sorry.

[1:45:13] Betty: I mean, I know you're probably not hurt or anything, but breakups are never great.

[1:45:18] Benny: Well, I guess sometimes they can be, but thank you so much for opening my life up in ways I never imagined.

[1:45:26] Alejandro: So why does she have wings?

[1:45:29] Betty: Goodbye, Benny.

[1:45:31] Benny: Oh!

[1:45:31] Betty: Also, I've been meaning to tell you that your insurance didn't cover your recent cleaning, so you owe Dr. Deffy like two thousand dollars.

[1:45:36] Betty: She takes Alejo's hand and Benny's and puts them together.

[1:45:41] Betty: She goes and stands behind Cupid and Valentine.

[1:45:45] Cupid: So now what?

[1:45:48] Valentine: Cupid and Valentine look at each other.

[1:45:52] Cupid: The room goes red.

[1:45:54] Valentine: Valentine goes to Benny.

[1:45:56] Cupid: Cupid goes to Alejandro.

[1:45:57] Cupid: In simultaneous movement, they kiss Benny and Alejandro.

[1:46:01] Cupid: First on the forehead, then over their eyelids.

[1:46:03] Cupid: Then finally, Valentine and Cupid kiss Alejandro and Benny on the mouths deeply.

[1:46:09] Cupid: They pull back and whisper to them.

[1:46:11] Cupid: Blessed.

[1:46:21] Alejandro: A snap.

[1:46:22] Cupid: Then a golden flash.

[1:46:24] Alejandro: And Alejandro and Benny are alone.

[1:46:26] Alejandro: They look at each other.

[1:46:27] Alejandro: Alejandro begins to take off his clothes.

[1:46:31] Alejandro: Turn on all the lights.

[1:46:32] Benny: Daylight's out.

[1:46:33] Alejandro: Doesn't matter.

[1:46:34] Alejandro: Uh we need every light in here turned on.

[1:46:37] Alejandro: I I mean everything.

[1:46:38] Alejandro: Get every electronic device and and and and all the screens should be on full brightness.

[1:46:43] Alejandro: Go.

[1:46:43] Benny: Benny, unsure, does what he says.

[1:46:45] Alejandro: Alejandro takes off his shoes, his shirt, his pants, and finally, after a moment of hesitation, he takes off his underwear.

[1:46:53] Benny: Benny finishes turning everything on.

[1:46:55] Alejandro: The bedroom and screen lights mix with the daylight and throw the room into sharp relief.

[1:47:00] Alejandro: That good.

[1:47:01] Benny: Yeah.

[1:47:03] Alejandro: Now get naked.

[1:47:05] Benny: Please.

[1:47:06] Benny: Looking at Alejandro strangely for a moment, Benny complies.

[1:47:09] Alejandro: They stare at each other for a long time.

[1:47:12] Alejandro: Then I want to tell you some things, some things about me.

[1:47:19] Alejandro: Uh about us, but mostly about and I want to have the conversation we should have had that night.

[1:47:25] Alejandro: You we broke up.

[1:47:30] Alejandro: I want to tell you about things.

[1:47:32] Alejandro: Things I've never talked about with a partner, things I'm afraid of, letting roll out of my head and down my tongue, things that never made it past my lips.

[1:47:42] Alejandro: Cause you, Benny, you I fucking love.

[1:47:46] Benny: Leo.

[1:47:47] Alejandro: No, no, Benny.

[1:47:48] Alejandro: Let me talk first.

[1:47:49] Alejandro: Let me talk.

[1:47:49] Alejandro: I I need to talk for a while, and I don't know if it could be all I need to say are just three words, or it could be that I need to talk for days straight.

[1:47:57] Alejandro: Uh, but all I know is that you need to just give me the floor for once, and I don't mean that as a dick, I'm just saying you do talk a lot.

[1:48:04] Benny: Aleah.

[1:48:05] Alejandro: And I want to show you everything.

[1:48:09] Alejandro: I want to be completely honest with you, right here, naked without a stitch of clothing in between us, in light brighter than the brightest sun, or at least is as bright as we can make it.

[1:48:20] Alejandro: I want to tell you everything.

[1:48:23] Alejandro: So let me just Benny has walked over to Alejandro and covered his mouth gently to stop the flow of words.

[1:48:29] Benny: I'm gonna let you talk.

[1:48:30] Benny: You can talk for just a few minutes, or you can take you can talk for a hundred years.

[1:48:35] Benny: I'm going to listen.

[1:48:36] Benny: I'm gonna listen to all of it.

[1:48:38] Benny: I'll even take notes, copious notes, and I'll take all the things you need and to say, and I'm gonna listen to them hard because I fucking love you too.

[1:48:47] Benny: But before I do, just let me say one thing first, okay?

[1:48:51] Benny: He moves his hands away.

[1:48:53] Alejandro: Okay, Benny.

[1:48:54] Benny: Okay.

[1:48:54] Alejandro: They stand before each other, completely naked, the bright light showing each other every imperfection, every flaw, every gift.

[1:49:04] Alejandro: I want to talk to you about something that happened to me when I was nine.

[1:49:10] Alejandro: Alejandro stares for a moment, then slowly he raises his hand and places it on Benny's cheek.

[1:49:15] Benny: Benny grabs his hand and holds it there.

[1:49:18] Alejandro: He begins to talk.

[1:49:20] Cupid: Final scene.

[1:49:22] Cupid: High above them on her asteroid stands Cupid.

[1:49:25] Cupid: Valentine and Betty stand off to the side behind her.

[1:49:28] Cupid: All three have been watching Benny and Alejandro.

[1:49:31] Valentine: After a few moments, Valentine walks over to Cupid.

[1:49:34] Cupid: Cupid has been weeping quietly.

[1:49:39] Valentine: I don't do much.

[1:49:42] Cupid: I know I don't.

[1:49:43] Valentine: You always did the heavy lifting when it comes to love.

[1:49:46] Cupid: You do plenty.

[1:49:48] Valentine: Thanks.

[1:49:51] Cupid: But one thing I think you could never really fully understand was that, that right there.

[1:50:00] Valentine: He points down to the world below, to Benny and Alejandro.

[1:50:03] Valentine: Is what great love is.

[1:50:05] Valentine: Not some story of epic proportions filled with magic and passion.

[1:50:11] Valentine: It's simple.

[1:50:14] Valentine: Painful.

[1:50:15] Valentine: Something you work at.

[1:50:17] Valentine: There is no great love, capital G, capital L.

[1:50:20] Valentine: It's just love.

[1:50:23] Valentine: And it can't change the world.

[1:50:25] Valentine: And it can't make all the bad go away, but it helps.

[1:50:28] Valentine: Like a bomb to an open wound, it helps.

[1:50:32] Cupid: Cupid is silent.

[1:50:34] Cupid: She turns around and looks at the door she created at the beginning of our story.

[1:50:39] Cupid: Full circle.

[1:50:41] Cupid: I told you I would bring you back after we blessed them, so.

[1:50:45] Cupid: Ta-da.

[1:50:49] Valentine: You can go now if you like.

[1:50:51] Cupid: I'm a woman of my word.

[1:50:53] Valentine: That you are.

[1:50:54] Cupid: So I'm going to go.

[1:50:56] Valentine: Okay.

[1:50:57] Cupid: But I'll come back.

[1:51:01] Valentine: Yeah.

[1:51:02] Cupid: Yeah.

[1:51:03] Valentine: Yeah.

[1:51:04] Cupid: I think I will.

[1:51:06] Cupid: But I'm taking a fucking sabbatical, okay?

[1:51:09] Valentine: I get it.

[1:51:10] Cupid: You deserve it.

[1:51:11] Valentine: Thank you, Valentine.

[1:51:13] Cupid: For being wonderful.

[1:51:15] Cupid: For being a pendejo.

[1:51:18] Valentine: My pendejo.

[1:51:20] Cupid: My old love.

[1:51:22] Cupid: She pulls him in close by the shirt.

[1:51:24] Cupid: They kiss deeply.

[1:51:27] Cupid: And thank you for reminding me.

[1:51:29] Cupid: She looks over at Betty, who has hidden her face behind her wings to give them privacy.

[1:51:37] Cupid: Betty.

[1:51:37] Betty: Yeah.

[1:51:38] Cupid: Hi.

[1:51:38] Betty: Sorry.

[1:51:44] Cupid: Just wanted to give you privacy.

[1:51:47] Cupid: Would you should I give you your wings back?

[1:51:51] Betty: No.

[1:51:51] Cupid: They look better on you.

[1:51:53] Betty: Keep them for me.

[1:51:55] Cupid: Great.

[1:51:56] Cupid: Not that you can't have them back, of course.

[1:51:59] Betty: They're yours.

[1:52:00] Cupid: I just started getting used to them, and I feel like they could really come in handy when I go back to work.

[1:52:07] Cupid: I mean, how many flying dental hygienists do you know?

[1:52:11] Betty: Yeah, about that.

[1:52:15] Cupid: Your job?

[1:52:16] Betty: Yeah.

[1:52:17] Cupid: Fuck teeth.

[1:52:19] Cupid: Would you like to come?

[1:52:21] Betty: Where?

[1:52:23] Cupid: Through through there.

[1:52:25] Betty: Mm-hmm.

[1:52:26] Cupid: Where does it go?

[1:52:29] Cupid: Come with me and find out.

[1:52:31] Betty: Betty looks at the door, then back down at Earth.

[1:52:34] Betty: I should leave a note.

[1:52:38] Betty: Or what about my job?

[1:52:40] Cupid: Betty!

[1:52:41] Cupid: Fuck teeth!

[1:52:43] Cupid: Cupid is asking you out on a date.

[1:52:45] Cupid: A date in another universe, for fuck's sake.

[1:52:50] Betty: You're asking me out on a date.

[1:52:53] Cupid: Yeah.

[1:52:55] Cupid: I like you.

[1:52:57] Betty: Oh wow.

[1:53:00] Betty: Oh wow.

[1:53:01] Betty: Uh wow, I get to go on a real date.

[1:53:06] Cupid: An answer, Cupid walks over to her gently.

[1:53:09] Cupid: As gently as she can, Cupid kisses Betty.

[1:53:12] Betty: Betty just as gently kisses her back.

[1:53:14] Cupid: Betty's wings snap open with a crack.

[1:53:17] Betty: Oh my god!

[1:53:18] Cupid: Sorry.

[1:53:18] Cupid: How embarrassing.

[1:53:28] Cupid: Happens to me all the time.

[1:53:32] Cupid: Cupid takes Betty's hand and walks toward the door.

[1:53:36] Betty: You'll wait.

[1:53:37] Cupid: I'll wait here.

[1:53:39] Cupid: Cupid and Betty, smiling at each other, open the door to another world.

[1:53:42] Cupid: A color unlike anything of this world envelops them.

[1:53:46] Cupid: With a last wave at Valentine, they step through.

[1:53:48] Cupid: The door stays open for a moment, framing Valentine in the light.

[1:53:52] Cupid: It begins to slowly close.

[1:53:54] Valentine: Right before it completely closes, Valentine leaps forward and grabs it.

[1:53:58] Valentine: He looks around for something to prop the door open.

[1:54:00] Valentine: He sees Cupid has left her shotgun.

[1:54:02] Valentine: He takes it and places it in the door, leaving it open a crack.

[1:54:05] Valentine: He calls into the doorway.

[1:54:07] Valentine: Bring back chocolate!

[1:54:08] Valentine: And not that five dollar shit.

[1:54:09] Valentine: I'm talking nice chocolate.

[1:54:11] Valentine: He looks around, unsure of how to pass the time.

[1:54:14] Valentine: He shrugs and snaps.

[1:54:16] Valentine: A love seat appears on the asteroid.

[1:54:18] Valentine: He lounges, snaps again.

[1:54:20] Valentine: Popcorn appears.

[1:54:22] Valentine: A final snap.

[1:54:23] Valentine: Binoculars appear in his hand.

[1:54:26] Valentine: Let's get a closer look at Benny and Alejandro.

[1:54:31] Valentine: Oh shit.

[1:54:39] Valentine: I shouldn't be watching this.

[1:54:45] Valentine: But he keeps watching.

[1:54:48] Cupid: And below the heavens, in Hackensack, New Jersey, our two lovers are doing what lovers do best.

[1:54:54] Cupid: They have finished talking, finished spilling out their secrets and pain, and now, in the aftermath of all that truth, they are making love.

[1:55:01] Cupid: They fumble at times, relearning each other's bodies.

[1:55:04] Cupid: There are tears, and when tears come, they wait for them to pass before resuming.

[1:55:09] Cupid: They look into each other's eyes, whisper words of safety and beauty that are so profound this poet dares not repeat them.

[1:55:16] Cupid: It would ruin it.

[1:55:17] Cupid: So let's just watch.

[1:55:19] Cupid: Watch Benny and Alejandro make love in the most honest way they can.

[1:55:23] Cupid: And it's not the hottest thing you'll ever see.

[1:55:25] Cupid: And it's not something they would depict in an epic romance.

[1:55:28] Cupid: And it isn't how Romeo fucked Juliet.

[1:55:31] Cupid: It's just real.

[1:55:32] Cupid: And my god, that's just fabulous.

[1:55:35] Cupid: Thank you all for listening to this humble poet's words.

[1:55:39] Cupid: Adios.

[1:55:40] Cupid: And so exits the poet.

[1:55:44] Cupid: End of play.

[1:56:23] ♪ Musical number ♪

[1:56:27] ♪ Musical number ♪

[1:57:15] ♪ Musical number ♪

[1:57:19] ♪ Musical number ♪

[1:59:21] Iyvon Edebiri: Okay, before we get started, a round of applause to that fucking fabulous cast.

[1:59:28] Audience: Yes.

[1:59:33] Iyvon Edebiri: And of course, our musicians, that last song.

[1:59:37] Audience: Yes.

[1:59:38] Iyvon Edebiri: Woo! I don't even understand Spanish, but I felt it.

[1:59:44] Iyvon Edebiri: I really did. Um, how do you feel?

[1:59:49] Keren Abreu: Very good.

[1:59:50] Iyvon Edebiri: You were like super nervous.

[1:59:51] Keren Abreu: So nervous.

[1:59:52] Iyvon Edebiri: You said you were gonna throw up, so I was like worried about my outfit.

[1:59:55] Keren Abreu: Not on you, but in a toilet.

[1:59:56] Keren Abreu: But I do. So um, I guess what was the inspiration for writing this somewhat epic of a play?

[2:00:11] Andrew Rincón: Uh so the play existed in the one act uh version that was produced by the moralists in like 2015 and was very different.

[2:00:18] Iyvon Edebiri: Right.

[2:00:19] Andrew Rincón: So when I applied with it to this, I told you that I would have a full length. So I was like, I should get on that. And then um I live you literally sent me like a first draft.

[2:00:27] Andrew Rincón: And I was like, I love it. I was like, finish it before.

[2:00:30] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah, every time you asked for a draft, it'd be like, it's coming.

[2:00:33] Andrew Rincón: Um but I the idea of radio, I'm like a I'm a comic book nerd to the T and I fucking love fantasy and things. So I realized with a radio play I could do all the stuff I normally would want to do on stage.

[2:00:45] Andrew Rincón: And kind of had a thought. I was like, why don't I do this all the time? Um but that's where the epicness of it all came in. But I really like the idea of like this incredibly magic love story because all I want to see are two boys loving on each other and play in theater, because I never got that growing up, and that's all I wanted.

[2:01:04] Andrew Rincón: So I want to see queer love all the time. So that was the inspiration of this queer love story. And then how did you develop these characters and and the relationships um between all of them?

[2:01:20] Andrew Rincón: Uh well, one, I like tend to write for people. So like my cast who's incredible, I would kind of row with a lot of them in mind. It helps me think of a a face behind it.

[2:01:33] Andrew Rincón: And um I think I also just pulled from I'm currently in love. And um he's sitting right there, he's so cute. Like a good and I'm exploring that for the first time in my life, and it's wonderful and painful and amazing, and he's everything I want, and the yeah, so I would pull a lot from that.

[2:02:00] Andrew Rincón: I love you, Danny.

[2:02:02] Keren Abreu: Oh this girl fall back in the sea.

[2:02:07] Andrew Rincón: She's just dramatic.

[2:02:10] Keren Abreu: Great space to be dramatic.

[2:02:13] Andrew Rincón: Um, so on that, uh, usually people say, you know, we you know, it's so common for us to say, I love you. We say that to to friends, to family, um, to a variety of people, but I personally don't feel that the feelings of love are ever really explicitly talked about enough.

[2:02:36] Andrew Rincón: So much so that saying I love you can sometimes seem as like this very passing thing, right? Then this like granular thing. And so you write and you mention great love with capital G, capital L.

[2:02:53] Andrew Rincón: And you your poet describes a little bit of what a couple that has the stamp of what a great love is, what that means. But for you, what does that feel like? Especially since you, you know, you're in love.

[2:03:10] Andrew Rincón: Yeah. I think it's I think I always thought, because again, my head goes for comic book life and like grandeur, and I'm like, wow, when I fall in love with the motherfucker, he's gonna kill like dragons for me, and like save me from fires and tell my races on she's a Buddha, like it's gonna be this like epic thing of epic proportions, and it's really not like it's that's beautiful.

[2:03:33] Andrew Rincón: It's like in the really simple things that they have your back, someone you love, and it's not just I think romantic love, and I try to explore that in a little play. There's friendship and and love that's stood the test of time, and uh I think it's in the little things in the little um things.

[2:03:54] Andrew Rincón: Yeah, I just like I had a note today. Um, my friend told gave me a note, Hillary, and um I was kind of feeling worried about the play today, and like people don't show up, and I was just getting kind of in my head, she told me to open the note today, and I did, and it was this beautiful little note that she said, You're gonna fucking rock it tonight.

[2:04:09] Andrew Rincón: And I was like, Oh, that's fucking love. Um so yeah, I think a great love is small, small in stature. Beautiful, yeah.

[2:04:20] Andrew Rincón: Not yeah, it's beautiful, but I mean like I'm just with you. So um so I I'm because I I love this character, Cupid. I love, love, love Cupid.

[2:04:30] Andrew Rincón: Um, so I have um a sweatshirt, as like some of y'all have seen. It says, I met God, she's black. And it always gets me like attention. It's like my favorite sweatshirt.

[2:04:46] Andrew Rincón: I forget I wear it, and so I always get weirded out when people are staring at me. But they often come up to me because they're often their perception of what God is, this great deity, this great creator and being has been flipped from this white blonde guy, man, to a black woman.

[2:05:08] Andrew Rincón: And so for you here, Cupid, this other deity, is a Latino woman. So why do you believe that Cupid is a Latino woman?

[2:05:22] Andrew Rincón: Uh I mean I also support that. No, yeah, I hate it. She should be a white man. No.

[2:05:27] Iyvon Edebiri: Right.

[2:05:29] Andrew Rincón: I mean, you've you've changed uh the huge demographic of uh you've changed the perception of what these deities that we've come to know as white and male to be, you know, you made her a woman of color, you made her a Latina woman.

[2:05:45] Andrew Rincón: So why do you believe that Cupid is a Latino woman?

[2:05:49] Andrew Rincón: Uh I mean, I hope until my dying day I'm writing queer stories of color. So like that's always the caveat.

[2:05:54] Andrew Rincón: So for me, if I ever write like a play full of just like Greek mythology and what now they're all gonna be Latino and Afro-Latino and Asian and every other race, that's not white.

[2:06:04] Andrew Rincón: Under the sorry, not white. Uh just because that's for me is just like interesting. Again, it's for me what I always wanted to see. If I wanted to see the the TV show where gods and action figures were all like Latino and could and sounded like me and my family and me.

[2:06:19] Andrew Rincón: And like, so yeah, Cupid was. I also wrote that part with Jackie in mind, and she's super Latina, if you ever.

[2:06:25] Iyvon Edebiri: So uh so that helped.

[2:06:28] Andrew Rincón: Uh but yeah, no, I just for me, I I I was like when I was first writing it, I was like, who would be my cubit? It would be one of the many fierce Latina actresses I know in this city.

[2:06:37] Iyvon Edebiri: So uh so beginning to wrap up. So the question I two questions I always ask the playwrights.

[2:06:46] Iyvon Edebiri: Uh first is if 60 seconds, and if um El Presidente Trump were here What would you say to him?

[2:06:57] Andrew Rincón: He ain't gonna listen to it. He can't even spell union.

[2:07:00] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah.

[2:07:00] Andrew Rincón: So there's no hope. So what would I say to Trump?

[2:07:03] Iyvon Edebiri: What would you say to Trump?

[2:07:05] Andrew Rincón: Taking out the expletives, I would probably take out the first 15.

[2:07:08] Iyvon Edebiri: You can say curses.

[2:07:09] Andrew Rincón: It's I wanna fuck like Romeo Julio.

[2:07:11] Iyvon Edebiri: Right, right, true.

[2:07:12] Andrew Rincón: Drop as many. Uh I would just hope.

[2:07:14] Andrew Rincón: I would honestly, if I would have a moment that wasn't filled with anger and rage, it would be learn to love a little more.

[2:07:24] Andrew Rincón: I'd probably say. And not just yourself.

[2:07:27] Andrew Rincón: Because you got that in abundance, but like love others. That's probably what I would say.

[2:07:33] Iyvon Edebiri: Before stabbing.

[2:07:34] Andrew Rincón: No. I'm just kidding. That's apparently illegal.

[2:07:38] Andrew Rincón: I learned that. So I'm just I'm not trying to kill the president to may the FBI who later sees this podcast hear.

[2:07:45] Andrew Rincón: I am not there. They're not gonna listen.

[2:07:47] Iyvon Edebiri: You never know.

[2:07:53] Andrew Rincón: That's it.

[2:07:54] Iyvon Edebiri: That's it. Um, and last question is what did you have for breakfast this morning?

[2:07:59] Andrew Rincón: Uh I normally have four turkey meatballs, uh, sliced banana with peanut butter, and uh a Greek yogurt, but I was nervous today, so I had four cookies that my boyfriend made me last.

[2:08:16] Andrew Rincón: I'll get snaps tomorrow, not today. Great.

[2:08:23] Iyvon Edebiri: That's it. So um wrap up. So I just want to thank you all for listening to The Parsnip Ship.

[2:08:32] Iyvon Edebiri: You can find more information about you know, submitting your play to The Parsnip Ship. Um, you can do that on www.thepartsnipship.com.

[2:08:42] Iyvon Edebiri: Follow us on Facebook and Instagram at The Parsnip Ship. Um you can find updates on our upcoming readings, on all of our writers, directors, musicians, plays.

[2:08:53] Iyvon Edebiri: You can subscribe to the Parsnip Ship on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play. All of our previous readings and interviews and music are available on there.

[2:09:02] Iyvon Edebiri: We would like to thank you again the Mark O'Donnell Theater at the Actors Fund Art Center, and Matthew and Ashley and Saul. Thank you so much.

[2:09:10] Iyvon Edebiri: They've been excellent. This is a great space.

[2:09:15] Iyvon Edebiri: I'd like to thank our cast tonight, Jacqueline, Michelangelo, Juan, Justin, who was in uh Keeley's play, untitled radio play before, so he's a returner.

[2:09:27] Iyvon Edebiri: Uh Christina and Alejandra, our musicians, Karen and Chris. Thank you to Luke DeCola, our amazing sound engineer.

[2:09:44] Iyvon Edebiri: Um, our TPS team, LOL, Katie put my name on here. Katie, our producing director, Rai, our artistic associate, Todd, our managing director, Melissa, our marketing associate, Jesse Manning, our producer, and Business Launch Productions.

[2:10:05] Iyvon Edebiri: Um, and of course, I must thank our director, Blayze. Blayze is another returning director.

[2:10:18] Iyvon Edebiri: She directed um Charlie's Waiting from season two, and she's also gonna be directing Mermaid Mermaid's Parade, which is our May episode as well.

[2:10:27] Iyvon Edebiri: We love her, she's great. And of course, our playwright Andrew, who brought us here with his beautiful story.

[2:10:29] Iyvon Edebiri: This is the Parsnip Ship, and this is how we hear theater. And on to our last song.

[2:10:50] Iyvon Edebiri: It's the same song. We're just gonna play you out.

[2:11:16] ♪ Musical number ♪