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[0:00] Iyvon Edebiri: Hey y'all, welcome back for part two of The Parsnip Ship presents "Nanay" by Molly Olis Krost, directed by Gaven Trinidad with musical guest Cindy Latin.

[0:10] Iyvon Edebiri: To hear part one of this episode and many others, subscribe to The Parsnip Ship wherever you hear your podcasts.

[0:17] Iyvon Edebiri: New plays, new music, this is how we hear theater.

[0:37] Iyvon Edebiri: Okay, here we go.

[0:39] ♪ Musical number: "Why So Quiet" — performed by Cindy Latin ♪

[3:58] Iyvon Edebiri: Act two, scene one. The kitchen. Dark. Clearly, not of our time and place. Perhaps a dream. Perhaps somewhere in between. If it is a dream, we don't know if it's Eve's or Angela's. A soft voice is heard singing a lullaby. We almost know the words too. A melody that feels like we've heard it in a dream before. Manananggal as Nanai enters. Once again, they can only be seen in silhouette, but their presence still radiates to us, calls to us, beckons us to come closer. They begin dropping and knocking things over as they move about the kitchen. Eve enters and frantically trails behind, trying to pick up and put away everything that has fallen. Nanai does not acknowledge her. Angela enters. She tries to reach out to Nanai.

She keeps getting closer and closer, but keeps getting blocked by Eve's movements. The sweet sounding lullaby starts to sound sharp and cutting. More and more like a warning, a threat. Eve and Angela grow more frantic in their movements to keep up with Nanai. Nanai sweeps off whatever is left on the counter and stands on top. The singing culminates in a final release. It sounds like a call of some sort. A call to action. A warning cry. A call from mother to daughter. Eve and Angela freeze in their movements. Nanai climbs down and opens a cabinet door. They finally look at Eve and Angela and proceed to crawl inside the cabinet and shut the door.

[6:06] Iyvon Edebiri: Act two. Scene two. The kitchen the next day. When an angal is tied up in a kitchen chair. The knots on the rope are visibly sloppy. Angela points a wooden spatula at them.

[6:25] Angela: Start talking.

[6:27] Manananggal: Seriously? You think I'm messing around here?

[6:30] Angela: A little bit.

[6:34] Angela: Are you gonna hit me with that?

[6:36] Manananggal: I'm the one asking the questions here.

[6:39] Angela: These knots are horrible.

[6:41] Manananggal: No, they're not.

[6:42] Manananggal: I can practically wave my arms right now.

[6:44] Angela: Stop that!

[6:45] Angela: I thought you and Eve were Girl Scouts.

[6:47] Manananggal: We were!

[6:48] Angela: You know what? No. No, you and Eve were not in Girl Scouts because she showed me these pictures that sure made it look like.

[6:56] Manananggal: No!

[6:56] Manananggal: I mean, yes, we were!

[6:58] Angela: I'm so confused. Forget about the fucking Girl Scouts and the fucking knots.

[7:02] Manananggal: Okay, forget the Girl Scouts?

[7:03] Angela: I don't know. I mean, cookie season is coming up so soon, and I just love those, um, uh, those uh, oh no, what are they called? Like cookie sandwiches with peanut butter in the middle.

[7:11] Manananggal: Shall be quiet, stop it, stop talking! Stop joking, stop mentioning my sister's name. You don't get to do any of that.

[7:21] Angela: Why not?

[7:22] Manananggal: Because I'm the one who was in charge.

[7:25] Manananggal: (crosses their arms) The ropes fall.

[7:30] Angela: What did you do?

[7:31] Manananggal: I did not do anything.

[7:33] Angela: Bullshit. She told you what happened. Didn't she tell you what happened?

[7:37] Manananggal: She doesn't know what happened.

[7:39] Angela: To her own body?

[7:41] Manananggal: No, because you did your manananggal magic on her.

[7:45] Angela: My manananggal magic? Oh, I think you're mixing up fairy tales here. You used your manananggal magic on my sister, and now she— Oh, what would manananggal magic even look like? Are there spells? Is there a spell book? Oh no! Have I gone my entire life without my manananggal spell book?

[8:03] Angela: You did whatever the fuck you did, and now something is wrong with her because she doesn't understand what's happening.

[8:11] Manananggal: She doesn't understand, or you don't?

[8:13] Angela: I'm the only one around here who has known the whole damn time what your intentions here have been.

[8:18] Manananggal: Oh, really? Uh, tell me what my intentions are.

[8:21] Angela: You're a manananggal! We've been taught your intentions since childhood. You find your target, a defenseless, expecting mother, aka my sister, and you take what you want.

[8:32] Manananggal: So you took that baby. Now where is it?

[8:36] Angela: You call a baby an it?

[8:40] Iyvon Edebiri: A long, heavy moment. A moment in which Angela struggles to obtain, keep, and leverage power. Finally, she concedes.

[8:52] Manananggal: I really don't understand you, Angela. How can someone both listen and ignore at the same time?

[8:58] Angela: You're really going to ignore me?

[9:00] Manananggal: Because I wouldn't do that.

[9:01] Angela: Or what? You'll spatula me?

[9:05] Manananggal: Why am I the only one freaking out?

[9:08] Angela: Just talk to your sister.

[9:10] Manananggal: She said she wanted to be alone.

[9:12] Angela: You seem to selectively listen to her.

[9:14] Manananggal: No, maybe selective listening is the wrong choice of words. You do listen to your sister. You just—you're just selective in what you take action about.

[9:25] Angela: I get that your thing is unsolicited behavioral diagnoses, but when you got here and found out about our arrangement, you chose not to listen when she said she didn't want to talk about it.

[9:36] Manananggal: I was in shock. And her behavior seemed to be—

[10:14] Angela: You owe her an explanation, though.

[10:19] Manananggal: What if she doesn't want it?

[10:21] Angela: She does.

[10:23] Manananggal: What if it just makes us fight?

[10:24] Angela: It might.

[10:25] Manananggal: What if I hurt her?

[10:26] Angela: You might.

[10:28] Manananggal: What if she gets mad at me?

[10:30] Angela: She might.

[10:33] Manananggal: What if I— What if what I have to say isn't good enough for her?

[10:38] Angela: Make it good enough, then.

[10:41] Manananggal: What if it doesn't help?

[10:43] Angela: It will.

[10:45] Manananggal: What if she really doesn't want to talk?

[10:48] Angela: She does.

[10:49] Manananggal: How do you know?

[10:50] Angela: The same reason I know you're not actually going to hurt me. We're in a kitchen, a room full of sharp knives, and you've been threatening me with a spatula, and not even a metal one.

[11:03] Manananggal: (begins to exit) Talk to your sister, Angela. For both your sakes.

[11:11] Manananggal: They're called Do-si-dos.

[11:14] Angela: What?

[11:15] Manananggal: The cookies with the peanut butter.

[11:17] Angela: They're called Do-si-dos.

[11:20] Manananggal: I knew you were a scout.

[11:24] Iyvon Edebiri: Act two, scene three. The nursery a few hours later. It is the same state of disarray as we last saw it. Eve is alone. She attempts to pick a few of the strewn items and organize it into something resembling a neat pile.

[11:41] Iyvon Edebiri: After a few moments, she gives up and moves to a different section. She attempts to repeat the process, but again abandons it after a few moments. This continues until Angela enters.

[11:55] Angela: Need help?

[11:56] Eve: No.

[11:57] Angela: You sure?

[11:58] Eve: I said I wanted to be alone.

[12:00] Angela: I was just asking.

[12:02] Eve: When you knew the answer?

[12:05] Angela: Maybe you changed your mind.

[12:07] Eve: Do whatever you want.

[12:09] Iyvon Edebiri: Angela attempts to clean the room to the best of her ability. It looks as if she is somehow making an even bigger mess.

[12:18] Angela: This is really cute.

[12:20] Eve: What is?

[12:21] Angela: The room.

[12:22] Eve: Are you trying to be funny?

[12:24] Angela: The crib is modern yet charmingly authentic. Your color palette is warm yet relaxing. And is that a repurposed milk crate as a toy chest that I spy in the corner?

[12:38] Eve: I may have opened a few of the Pinterest boards you sent me.

[12:44] Angela: I like the gender neutral accents. Very progressive of you.

[12:49] Eve: It was Ethan's idea. An homage to us meeting in intro to gender and women's studies.

[13:01] Eve: This is why I wanted to be alone. What did Ernesto do with the baby?

[13:06] Angela: A vampiric creature from Filipino folklore did not devour my baby.

[13:11] Eve: Then what happened?

[13:12] Angela: A stillbirth.

[13:14] Eve: What else, Ange?

[13:16] Angela: What else could it be? Yes, it was before Ethan left.

[13:22] Eve: No, I don't want to go into it.

[13:25] Angela: Yes, I am perfectly fine. Yes, physically fine. My health is fine.

[13:34] Eve: What about emotionally fine? Have you been seeing anyone?

[13:38] Eve: Seeing anyone? I'm in no condition to be dating anyone right now, Angela.

[13:42] Angela: Come on. You need to talk to someone about what you're going through.

[13:45] Eve: I am talking to someone.

[13:47] Angela: Who?

[13:47] Eve: You keep asking why Ernesto is here.

[13:50] Angela: I mean a professional.

[13:52] Eve: Ernesto is a professional.

[13:54] Angela: A professional what?

[13:55] Eve: Ernesto has been guiding me through practices that have...

[13:55] Angela: You need to see a professional therapist.

[14:01] Eve: I admit that I may not be perfectly fine yet, but I'm getting there. I am getting there. Look at this room. It's a part of the process.

[14:10] Angela: What process?

[14:11] Eve: Mine! My process! My own process of dealing with my own trauma. And it's going great, okay? I'm fucking healing.

[14:24] Angela: It's okay to not be happy, Eve. What you went through. It's okay if you aren't okay.

[14:33] Eve: You sound like my doctor and all of the nurses at the hospital.

[14:38] Angela: Then you know I'm right.

[14:39] Eve: That doesn't make you right. It means you all memorize the same script.

[14:44] Angela: Or it means that we're all just trying to help you.

[14:46] Eve: I have help.

[14:48] Angela: Just because you have a mythological shaman playing guitar and making you tea doesn't mean you're dealing with anything.

[14:55] Eve: It means you're in denial.

[14:57] Angela: Ernesto accepts what I want this process to be like. So everything's on my terms, and I address my problems when I am ready.

[15:04] Eve: You're being coddled.

[15:06] Angela: What would you rather have me do then? Pop pills until I don't feel anything at all? Replace a portion of my pain with so much empty blankness that it devours any feeling in sight, even my joy.

[15:17] Eve: Yeah. Tell me more about what antidepressants are like.

[15:20] Angela: Who told you what they feel like in the first place?

[15:23] Eve: Fuck you.

[15:24] Angela: I didn't mean...

[15:26] Eve: Of course you didn't. You're the one who says nice things, and I'm the one who says mean things.

[15:29] Angela: I'm not saying...

[15:32] Eve: I didn't mean it like that. Sure, medication can be helpful. Therapy can be helpful. But you know what that all does, at least to me?

[15:43] Angela: It looks only at my problems.

[15:46] Eve: Labels me for my problems. I'm not this fragile, tragic, hopeless problem that needs curing.

[15:54] Angela: But how do you know?

[15:55] Eve: I mean, have you even...

[15:57] Angela: Yes?

[15:59] Eve: I've tried. Of course I've tried. I told you I tried talking to doctors, I tried talking to nurses.

[16:05] Angela: So we find someone else. Trust me, finding the right therapist is a process. I can help you look.

[16:13] Eve: I already have someone that I'm happy with.

[16:15] Angela: You need an actual professional, Eve, not a whatever you say Ernesto is.

[16:21] Eve: Will you stop already?

[16:23] Angela: I'm trying to help.

[16:24] Eve: Stop saying that you're helping when it's really a mask for your self-important judgment.

[16:29] Angela: Stop taking any critique as a personal attack on your well-being.

[16:32] Eve: You think you know better than me?

[16:33] Angela: No, you think you know better than me.

[16:35] Eve: You don't know a fucking thing about the hell I've been living and dying every single day.

[16:38] Angela: Because all you do is say how you don't want to tell me.

[16:45] Eve: I'm not in denial.

[16:50] Angela: I know I can never have my child back, but I want myself back.

[16:58] Eve: And maybe playing guitar and drinking tea is what helps me feel like myself.

[17:05] Angela: So before you box me up and send me off in a neat little emotional package, why don't you take a moment and think about why I don't want to talk about what happened to me instead of being upset that you can't know everything.

[17:25] Eve exits.

[17:27] Angela: Angela remains, taking in the sight of the destroyed room.

[17:35] Angela: Act two, scene four. The kitchen. Night. The stage is dark.

[17:42] Angela: A figure can be seen entering. A series of loud crashes follow, along with the sound of a struggle.

[17:50] Angela: The lights turn on.

[17:52] Angela: Angela is tied up in a kitchen chair. The knots on the rope are impeccably tied.

[17:58] Angela: Eve and Manananggal stand on either side of her.

[18:03] Angela: What the fuck?

[18:05] Eve: I am so sorry. I didn't want it to come to this, but I need you to listen to me.

[18:11] Angela: So you tie me up in your kitchen?

[18:14] Eve: Okay, Miss Holier-than-thou, don't act like you haven't done it.

[18:17] Angela: You told her.

[18:19] Eve: It came up organically.

[18:22] Angela: This whole time. I thought your relentless questioning was because I was hiding something and you were on to me, but that's not why.

[18:29] Eve: I don't know. That seems like a pretty good reason to me.

[18:32] Angela: It's because you're the one hiding something.

[18:34] Eve: What makes you think that?

[18:35] Angela: So you don't deny it. Great. Here comes the legal studies minor again.

[18:41] Eve: And here comes more defensive dodging.

[18:43] Angela: Why do you get so angry every time I try to ask you a question?

[18:47] Eve: Because. Because, Eve.

[18:51] Angela: God, I feel so bad right now.

[18:54] Eve: I feel so much immense heavy guilt.

[18:58] Angela: You don't even know. Every second I'm here, I'm inching closer and closer to being crushed by the heavy emptiness that is my own guilt.

[19:07] Eve: Are you kidding me? You think I don't know the depths of guilt?

[19:11] Angela: You think I'd be used to your selfishness by now, but yet somehow I'm always astounded.

[19:17] Eve: Just spit it out already. Instead of going on and on about how selfish I am, how selfish I always have been, spit it out and just ask me the question.

[19:25] Angela: You want to know why it took me so long to come.

[19:28] Eve: I didn't ask you to come.

[19:29] Angela: And yet that's what you want to know, right?

[19:32] Eve: I never asked why you came.

[19:34] Angela: Yeah, but they did.

[19:36] Eve: Ernesto?

[19:39] Angela: I never asked them to do that.

[19:41] Eve: Just because you don't ask for something doesn't mean you don't want the answer.

[19:45] Angela: This is way too much buildup for the shittiest excuse.

[19:51] Eve: I don't have a reason, okay? I got busy.

[20:00] Angela: Kind of forgot.

[20:03] Eve: You forgot I was pregnant?

[20:04] Angela: No!

[20:05] Eve: Well, Angela!

[20:08] Angela: I didn't forget. Look, I'm no I'm supposed to be neutral here, but I didn't forget that she was pregnant.

[20:14] Eve: I forgot when she was due.

[20:17] Angela: I forgot to come visit.

[20:19] Eve: It's clear she didn't want me here anyway.

[20:22] Angela: I thought it would be best to give her space.

[20:25] Eve: She's my sister, and she knows I'm just a text or call away.

[20:31] Angela: By the time I realized, I knew it was too late.

[20:34] Eve: Way too late, but I thought.

[20:38] Angela: I don't know if I just showed up, everything would be okay.

[20:45] Eve: What do I do? I can't change any of it.

[20:50] Angela: Unless Ernesto has some time-altering abilities that they'd like to make me aware of.

[20:56] Eve: Unfortunately, not.

[20:59] Angela: Why even come at all then?

[21:02] Eve: Because I wanted to.

[21:03] Angela: You wanted to, or your guilt wanted you to.

[21:07] Eve: Two things can be true.

[21:11] Angela: I knew sooner or later I'd have to let the weight of my guilt fully crush me, and then I would have to drag my guilt-flattened body here and face my punishment for my own shame.

[21:23] Eve: What makes you think I'd punish you?

[21:26] Angela: I'm literally tied up right now.

[21:29] Eve: I'm not trying to punish you. I just want you to listen to me.

[21:31] Angela: Even now you're making it about you. Your guilt, your shame. If you're really here for me, then listen to me.

[21:40] Eve: I am.

[21:43] Angela: I've been trying.

[21:48] Eve: I could try harder.

[21:50] Angela: You really could.

[21:52] Eve: It's hard for me, okay? I'm your only family now, and I'm pretty shitty at it.

[21:59] Angela: It's not your fault we're the only ones left.

[22:02] Eve: I don't need you to be a perfect sister.

[22:06] Angela: I just need you to be my sister.

[22:10] Eve: And that means trusting me.

[22:12] Angela: I know all of this is unconventional, but it is how I want to handle things.

[22:21] Eve: Okay.

[22:24] Angela: Okay.

[22:26] Eve: Ernesto is going to untie you.

[22:30] Angela: I'm sorry, Eve.

[22:33] Eve and Angela share a moment.

[22:36] Eve: Eve comes close to responding. To accepting Angela's apology.

[22:41] Angela: She wants to.

[22:43] Eve: But she doesn't.

[22:44] Angela: Eve simply nods.

[22:46] Angela: She looks so much like their mother in this moment.

[22:49] Eve: It nearly crushes Angela, but she tries to hide it.

[22:54] Eve exits.

[22:55] Manananggal: Manananggal waits for a few moments after she has left.

[23:00] Angela: I need to talk to you.

[23:02] Manananggal: Well, I'm not going anywhere.

[23:04] Manananggal: Manananggal begins to untie the knots on the rope.

[23:07] Angela: Will you really think we'd leave you tied up here?

[23:09] Manananggal: I don't know what to think at the moment.

[23:11] Angela: Eve told me what happened.

[23:13] Manananggal: I would assume so.

[23:15] Angela: Look, I really don't need a lecture from you two.

[23:18] Manananggal: I'm not going to lecture you.

[23:20] Angela: Really?

[23:21] Manananggal: I need your help talking to Eve.

[23:23] Angela: As you can see, that is something I'm not very good at.

[23:26] Manananggal: I need your help because I think you're right. I've been helping Eve process what happened, but we've hit a wall.

[23:32] Angela: I can help in every way and ritual I know how, but if she can't fully admit to what's hurting her, to what she's holding on and refusing to let go of, she's always going to be like this.

[23:43] Angela: Like how?

[23:45] Manananggal: In between. Half healed. Sometimes okay, sometimes not.

[23:49] Angela: She's going to ignore her trauma until it eats her whole.

[23:53] Angela: So what do we do?

[23:55] Manananggal: I propose an idea to her multiple times, but she refuses.

[23:59] Angela: I'm thinking if we tell her that we both think it's a good thing, maybe she'll come around.

[24:05] Manananggal: You have a lot of faith in her.

[24:06] Angela: And you don't seem to have enough.

[24:09] Manananggal: How would we even get her to listen to us before she storms out?

[24:13] Angela: That I am still working on.

[24:17] Manananggal: I have an idea.

[24:18] Angela: What is it?

[24:21] Manananggal: Oh no.

[24:22] Angela: Yes.

[24:23] Manananggal: Angela, no, just trust me.

[24:25] Angela: It won't work.

[24:26] Manananggal: It will. Trust me.

[24:28] Angela: Oh no.

[24:29] Angela exits.

[24:31] Manananggal: Manananggal reluctantly follows.

[24:35] Angela: Act two, scene five. The kitchen.

[24:38] Angela: Eve is tied up in a kitchen chair.

[24:42] Angela: The knots on the rope are a bit better, but still visibly sloppy.

[24:46] Angela: Angela and Manananggal stand on either side of her.

[24:50] Eve: Seriously?

[24:51] Angela: This was her idea.

[24:52] Eve: No, it wasn't.

[24:53] Angela: Well, it wasn't mine.

[24:54] Eve: Well, it wasn't all my idea.

[24:56] Angela: Okay, part of this was my idea. The talking part.

[25:00] Eve: I have no idea how this part got added in.

[25:02] Angela: I was taking a nap.

[25:04] Eve: You said it was a good idea.

[25:05] Angela: I most certainly did not.

[25:07] Eve: These knots are terrible.

[25:09] Angela: See, I told you.

[25:11] Eve: I can practically wave my arms.

[25:12] Angela: I thought you said you practiced.

[25:14] Eve: I thought you said you didn't know anything about this part.

[25:16] Angela: This is what happens when you don't pay attention in Girl Scouts.

[25:19] Eve: Why is this suddenly being thrown back in my face?

[25:22] Angela: Eve crosses her arms.

[25:23] Angela: The ropes fall to the floor.

[25:25] Eve: Fuck.

[25:27] Angela: Great plan so far.

[25:29] Eve: I should have never asked for your help.

[25:31] Angela: Alright, what's going on here?

[25:32] Eve: Why are you two working together?

[25:34] Angela: Who says we're working together?

[25:35] Eve: Well, you're not fighting.

[25:37] Angela: We never fight.

[25:38] Eve: This is true.

[25:39] Angela: She just likes to criticize and distrust me.

[25:41] Eve: I do not.

[25:41] Angela: But we never fight.

[25:43] Eve: Can I go?

[25:44] Angela: Can I go back to my nap now?

[25:46] Eve: Hold on a second.

[25:47] Angela: No.

[25:48] Eve: Hear us out.

[25:49] Angela: It appears I don't have a choice.

[25:53] Manananggal: Act two, scene six. The backyard. Late night, the beginning of sunrise.

[26:00] Manananggal: Eve, Angela, and Manananggal sit cross-legged in the grass.

[26:04] Manananggal: Manananggal has a bag of supplies. As they talk, they remove items from their bag.

[26:10] Manananggal: Ingredients for tea. A statue of a snake. A bowl which may pour water into. Etc.

[26:19] Manananggal: I see my work as Babailan inspired. I was a spirit in search, and this is what became present.

[26:27] Angela: Why were you searching for somewhere new?

[26:30] Manananggal: That's the life nowadays. Some see it as our communities have stopped believing in us.

[26:36] Manananggal: Maybe that's true. But I like to see it as I've done my job because they no longer need my help.

[26:44] Manananggal: If they are healed, then why need a healing spirit? At least that is the reasoning that gives me the comfort I need, even if it isn't true.

[26:55] Manananggal: Either way, my work will always continue. I see it as a way to honor the Babailans in the Philippines who are amongst their own communities.

[27:04] Manananggal: Manananggal takes out a handful of nuts. They carefully slice open each nut individually.

[27:11] Angela: What are those?

[27:12] Manananggal: Beetle nuts.

[27:13] Manananggal: Manananggal pulls a small pouch out of their bag.

[27:17] Angela: Okay, what is that?

[27:18] Manananggal: Pulverized limestones.

[27:21] Manananggal: Manananggal wraps the nuts one by one in leaves and holds them out.

[27:27] Angela: What are we supposed to do with them?

[27:31] Manananggal: Beetle nut chewing. It is part of how we ask permission from the unseen beings in our surroundings.

[27:38] Eve: You said you would participate.

[27:40] Manananggal: I am.

[27:41] Eve: Can you do it without comment?

[27:44] Manananggal: I won't point out your hypocrisy right now.

[27:47] Eve: I believe it was an express condition of untying you.

[27:50] Manananggal: I wasn't tied up.

[28:01] Manananggal: Manananggal takes a moment to prepare. They begin singing.

[28:11] Manananggal: It sounds like a lullaby that is both familiar and unknown. A culmination of song they sung as children, but they can't quite place the melody too or the lyrics.

[28:23] Angela: Both Angela and Eve are momentarily stunned. But after a few moments, they begin to take in Manananggal's voice and words.

[28:32] Manananggal: They start to feel the power vibrate through them.

[28:37] Manananggal: Now that our respects have been paid, I'm ready to receive.

[28:49] Eve: I don't know.

[28:51] Manananggal: Ernesto.

[28:53] Manananggal: Manananggal picks up their guitar. They begin to play.

[28:58] Manananggal: And the humming becomes melodic, as if once again singing a soothing lullaby with no words.

[29:04] Angela: Eve and Angela listen for a few moments.

[29:10] Angela: Do you remember much about Girl Scouts?

[29:14] Eve: Apparently not.

[29:17] Angela: Do you remember the hiking fiasco?

[29:20] Eve: I don't remember it being a fiasco.

[29:23] Angela: We were lost on the trail for hours.

[29:26] Eve: Mom was with us.

[29:28] Angela: We still got lost.

[29:30] Eve: It was fun.

[29:32] Angela: Mom made it fun because she didn't want to admit she couldn't find her way back.

[29:38] Eve: Why'd you bring it up?

[29:40] Angela: Just sitting here in the dark, listening to singing.

[29:45] Eve: Reminded me of that night.

[29:48] Angela: I don't know if I'd call this singing.

[29:52] Eve: It still sounds like mom.

[29:54] Angela: I used to dream about playing music.

[29:58] Eve: I know.

[30:00] Angela: I opened up to mom about my dreams and she crushed them.

[30:05] Eve: I know.

[30:07] Angela: I hold on to that resentment of my crushed dreams for years and finally confront her about it.

[30:14] Eve: And what happens?

[30:15] Angela: Eve.

[30:16] Eve: She's not dies.

[30:18] Angela: That wasn't your fault.

[30:20] Eve: You hid your grief like the respectable daughter mom told you to be.

[30:25] Angela: I stupidly tell the aunties how I was feeling and what happens.

[30:30] Eve: They run to the nearest plane so they can gossip to everyone back in the Philippines about how broken and weak we are.

[30:44] Manananggal: The humming and guitar continues.

[30:48] Angela: Ethan was so happy and hopeful.

[30:52] Angela: When I went in for my six-week checkup, I wasn't expecting an ultrasound.

[30:57] Angela: All the books and the blogs tell you not to expect one.

[31:02] Angela: There isn't much to see yet. But for some reason, the nurse asked if I was ready for the ultrasound.

[31:10] Angela: There's pretty much a tiny blob.

[31:14] Angela: But Ethan. He just had this dopey, stupid smile.

[31:23] Angela: I was thinking about all of the things we would have to buy, all the changes I'd need to make to the house, to my diet, my health, my entire life.

[31:36] Angela: The little blob was sending me into a panic attack, but Ethan just kept smiling.

[31:43] Angela: He was just so fucking optimistic.

[31:45] Eve: How does that not rub off on someone?

[31:49] Manananggal: Manananggal gestures to their bag.

[31:51] Angela: Angela starts looking inside, unsure of what she is supposed to be searching for.

[31:58] Angela: Marriage is a compromise, right?

[32:01] Angela: So I finally decided to believe him. I let in every single bright and shiny hope until we were dreamy in the eyes.

[32:11] Angela: I took the baby bump pics every day. I bought a stupid white dress for a maternity photo shoot that he convinced me would be a good idea once I was showing more.

[32:21] Angela: Angela attempts to keep up with her task, but keeps getting distracted as she tries to listen.

[32:27] Manananggal: Manananggal keeps having to urge and remind her to keep searching the bag.

[32:34] Angela: Usually I would know when something was going to go wrong, but we were so fucking clouded with our stupid bliss.

[32:41] Angela: I didn't pay enough attention to the nausea or the cramping.

[32:51] Angela: It just made it so much worse when I had to spend hours sitting in the bed while they took away the baby we had already lost, but had never realized because we were so preoccupied with our selfish fantasies.

[33:05] Angela: Angela wants to say something, but is struggling to keep up.

[33:08] Angela: He didn't even have the fucking courage to look me in the eye during the procedure because he knew I was right all along.

[33:14] Angela: We should have stayed cautious. We should have waited. We shouldn't have hoped too hard because this is what makes us.

[33:23] Angela: I was right. And he had to make it so much more painful than it ever needed to be.

[33:31] Angela: He had to inflict me with his fucking happiness, and I'm still suffering from it.

[33:37] Angela: Angela stops what she's doing and stands.

[33:40] Manananggal: The humming and guitar stop.

[33:42] Manananggal: Manananggal watches them and walks back to their supplies. They urge Angela to return to sitting.

[33:48] Manananggal: Manananggal produces a small jug of water. Manananggal pours a cup for each of them.

[33:55] Manananggal: They drink in silence for a few moments.

[34:12] Manananggal: They pick up the guitar and begin to play again.

[34:17] Manananggal: They treat your body like a vessel, like an object. They look at whatever part they want whenever they want.

[34:28] Manananggal: They pick and prod without asking. Like you're an experiment.

[34:36] Manananggal: They stopped looking at me while they were in my room.

[34:43] Angela: I swear they didn't even look me in the eye when they talked to me.

[34:47] Angela: They only looked at the broken piece of the broken machine they wanted to fix.

[34:54] Angela: They only talked to whatever body part needed. Another test, another stitch, another sample, another needle, another painkiller, another antidepressant.

[35:12] Angela: I entered there a human and left a husk.

[35:18] Manananggal: Manananggal gently places the guitar down and begins to slowly exit.

[35:24] Eve: A beat.

[35:26] Eve: Eve cautiously approaches Angela. They embrace.

[35:33] Manananggal: Act two, scene seven. The backyard. That night. That morning. Another time and place entirely.

[35:44] Manananggal: It's hard to tell. A small campfire burns in the center of the yard.

[35:50] Manananggal: Manananggal's humming and guitar from the previous scene is heard.

[35:54] Angela: Angela enters and sits in front of the fire.

[35:58] Angela: I knew we weren't lost that day on the hike.

[36:03] Angela: I never felt lost when I was with you.

[36:09] Angela: Sometimes I wish it was me. That I was the one who could play like you and sing like you.

[36:17] Angela: I know you taught us both. But I know Eve's better.

[36:20] Angela: That's why you stopped asking the both of us to sing for you, right? That's why you started only asking Eve.

[36:31] Angela: She waits. The fire continues to burn, unchanged.

[36:37] Eve: Eve enters, wearing a Girl Scout sash covered in patches.

[36:42] Eve: She and Angela do not see each other.

[36:45] Eve: Eve walks a slow circle around the campfire.

[36:50] Eve: Did you think I was selfish?

[36:53] Eve: Was that why you said that about me? That all I do is take.

[36:58] Eve: Eve takes a patch off of the sash and drops it into the fire.

[37:03] Eve: I gave you everything I could. I gave both of you everything I could.

[37:09] Eve: Eve takes another patch off the sash and drops it into the fire.

[37:12] Eve: But it was never enough for either of you.

[37:16] Eve: Eve takes another patch off the sash and drops it into the fire.

[37:20] Eve: I could never take a side because it would always be wrong to one of you.

[37:25] Eve: Did you ever think about where that left me?

[37:29] Eve: She takes another patch off the sash and drops it into the fire.

[37:33] Eve: Did you ever think that the reason I take and I take and I stay so far away is because there was never anything left to give me?

[37:41] Eve: Eve stops. For a moment. She and Angela lock eyes.

[37:49] Eve: My happiest memories are the ones from Girl Scouts. Arguing for badges I didn't earn, eating more cookies than I sold.

[37:59] Eve: The three of us forced into spending weekend after weekend together.

[38:07] Eve: I know you were miserable those days. But please don't take those from me.

[38:21] Eve: I know those memories are painful and complicated and but for me, they're not.

[38:28] Eve: For me, they're all I have of her that is mine. It took me so long to come here because I was afraid. I was afraid that you becoming a mom meant replacing everything she did with everything you would do differently.

[38:51] Eve: I want to be there. How you need me, and I promise I will try. I want to love you both, but I'm afraid that you won't let me. I'm afraid that the more I let you in, the more I have to push her out. And I can't lose any more of her. Please don't take her from me.

[39:24] Eve:

[39:25] (A moment. She holds out her hand to Angela.)

[39:28] Angela: (takes it)

[39:30] (They exit together. The guitar continues to play, and the fire continues to burn.)

[39:38] (Act two, scene eight. The kitchen. The next morning. Eve and Angela are cooking breakfast.)

[39:47] Angela: I see you're up before eleven.

[39:50] Eve: Now that I am a very mature adult, I am only 30 to 45 minutes late to work. My growth is incredible.

[39:57] Angela: Does this mean I won't have to remind you to check into your flight?

[40:01] Eve: I actually canceled my flight. I just thought maybe I could help you get everything cleaned up.

[40:08] Angela: You've never cleaned a day in your life.

[40:10] Eve: Perfect opportunity to start.

[40:12] (Eve's phone rings. She quickly silences it without checking.)

[40:17] Angela: Seems like Ethan really wants to talk to you.

[40:20] Eve: He doesn't. It's just his nice guy syndrome kicking in. Next time it rings, I'm picking up.

[40:26] Manananggal: (enters, holding a suitcase) Mmm, smells delicious.

[40:31] Angela: Thank you.

[40:35] Manananggal: It all smells delicious. Ernesto, what is this? You own a suitcase? What's in there? Wait, please don't leave yet. You know it's rude to leave when someone is making you a meal. I just finished sewing that hole in your pants. Let me go get them.

[40:54] (Eve exits. Angela and Manananggal stand in silence for a few awkward moments. Angela begins to cook.)

[41:09] Angela: When I first arrived, I told her I was here for as long as she needed me and not a moment longer. Not even long enough for breakfast. At least I thought I finished sewing them.

[41:29] Manananggal: Perhaps that is the way they were meant to be.

[41:41] Angela: I couldn't possibly.

[41:43] Manananggal: I insist. I'm not even allowed to touch the guitar, but you just give it to her.

[41:47] Angela: Okay, you may also use it with Eve's permission and supervision.

[41:51] Manananggal: I don't even want to use it anymore.

[41:54] Angela: Where will you go?

[41:56] Manananggal: Back home.

[41:57] Angela: Where exactly is that?

[42:00] Manananggal: I don't know where it is anymore. But it has to still be out there, right? You better check on those sausages. They're going to burn soon.

[42:11] Eve: (turns on the fan above the stove) Like mom used to say, it's not done till it's burnt.

[42:18] Angela: Then that pandasale in the oven must be very much done.

[42:22] Eve: It is not burnt.

[42:24] Angela: Okay. I just put them in for a few minutes to toast.

[42:28] Eve: Okay then. I'm not going to go check on it and give you an opportunity to slip out.

[42:34] Angela: Then don't.

[42:35] (Their silent battle continues until.)

[42:40] Angela: Damn it. (rushes to the oven)

[42:44] Manananggal: Take good care of that guitar.

[42:46] (Manananggal exits.)

[42:50] Angela: I told you it wouldn't be burnt.

[42:54] Eve: You had to know that that was going to happen.

[42:58] Angela: So now what?

[43:01] Eve: Looks like we're going to have a big meal to finish.

[43:05] (Angela begins to set the table while Eve finishes assembling the plates of food. Angela and Eve sit down and begin to eat breakfast together.)

[43:15] (End of play.)

[43:50] ♪ Musical number: "With You" — performed by the cast ♪

[47:25] Iyvon Edebiri: Comfortable?

[47:26] Cast: Sure, yeah.

[47:26] Iyvon Edebiri: Are we all good? Wow. Everyone, okay, before we start this playwright interview, I want to give a beautiful round of applause to our wonderful cast who killed it tonight. Thank you so much. Beautiful, beautiful work today.

[47:48] Iyvon Edebiri: Molly, how are you feeling?

[47:51] Molly Olis Krost: Uh surreal. Yeah, it's been it's been a minute.

[47:57] Molly Olis Krost: Oh minute. It's been a minute. We we chose this play in 2019, and it was gonna be done in, I believe, May 2020, April 2020.

[48:05] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah, I think April 2020.

[48:07] Molly Olis Krost: April 2020. Yeah, and so here we are. Here we are. Two years later, two and a half years later. Today's been a minute, but we we were so committed to this play and to you because we we loved we loved this this play.

[48:21] Iyvon Edebiri: And so let's start. What inspired the writing of this work?

[48:26] Molly Olis Krost: Oh man, I started writing this play in 2018. At the time, the idea that was in my head was like the idea that Filipino women and birthing people like don't we feel like we can't talk about mental health when it comes around birth and motherhood and the struggles around it. And I was I was work wrestling with that idea for a while, and my best friend who is also a counselor gave me the advice is it that we don't want to talk about it, or is it that we aren't given the tools to talk about it? Like, do we actually want to, but we are kind of being forced to use a framework that's not meant for us as Filipinos? And that just like blew my mind open. So I kind of started to think about what that meant, and I started reading books from the Center of Babaylan studies and kind of started to read a bit more into like all of these myths of these like folklore creatures that are all like centered around pregnancy and loss of babies and like seeing how it all is so like deeply interconnected in some way. And it all just kind of this play to just kind of has been like a like a whirl of that over the years.

[49:36] Iyvon Edebiri: Wow. And and can you talk to us about how this play has shifted and changed since 2020? Because there's a lot that is it's different than what we first read and probably what we would have recorded at that moment. So it's it's interesting that it feels like a different play, but it also feels like a development of that play. So can you talk to us about what's changed? What's different?

[49:57] Molly Olis Krost: I mean, a lot has technically changed on the page, but I also think about how much has changed for me as a writer. I was talking about this at our rehearsal. I had this moment where I was sitting at the table and I thought about how this was supposed to be two years ago, and I thought about the writer I was two years ago, and all I could think about was like how insecure I was and thinking about because I at the time this episode was supposed to first be recorded, I was finishing my MFA program.

[50:26] Iyvon Edebiri: Right, right.

[50:26] Molly Olis Krost: And I was in a program where I was one of like only a few writers of color, and I remember just feeling so insecure if I was allowed to write this story because I'm a mixed Filipino, and I didn't know if I had the right to take up the space to tell the story, even though I'm writing about my experiences with identity, my experiences from what I've felt and observed growing up. I didn't know if I was quote unquote Filipino enough to tell a story about Filipino culture, and so. And over the years that I've gotten opportunities to like have workshops on this script and be in rooms with Filipino artists and actors and directors who have all been so affirming and accepting, it made me realize like how important it is.

[51:12] Molly Olis Krost: And I think maybe because I spent years in a program where I didn't really have the support and I wasn't with a cohort that kind of looked like me and reflected that might have been why I felt so insecure so long about and like so afraid to like really dig into the script.

[51:27] Molly Olis Krost: And I feel like finding moments that like really connected into the heart. Like the Girl Scout scene with the badges and the fire was like a thing that came up that was really new and had a lot of my own like personal reflections in there.

[51:41] Molly Olis Krost: And I think it was just this very surreal moment of like how far I've come, and I think how important it is to like work with your community to tell stories.

[51:50] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah, yeah, I love that. And and I guess on that note, what is what are some of the things you love about the Filipino, Filipina, Filipinex community?

[52:02] Cast: Who are in the house tonight?

[52:04] Iyvon Edebiri: Oh yeah.

[52:07] Cast: I think it's just like how much love and laughter there is. Like from like rehearsals, like as soon as we started going, we were like laughing, we were just kind of it was just so warm and accepting.

[52:19] Cast: We're like sharing snacks, we're telling stories, we're just like getting giddy and like I don't know, just like playing around, and it just I don't know. I felt that that was so reflective of like what I love most about the community.

[52:32] Cast: I find it like just so warmth and so accepting, and that's like what I've always felt about like coming from my family as well. About like there's always this like baseline love that comes through, even in like even in even when we fight and even when there's disagreements, like which I think is in the script as well.

[52:52] Cast: Like as much as these sisters clash, like they know deep down that there's like this baseline of love. And I feel like that really reflects how I feel about the community.

[53:03] Iyvon Edebiri: Yeah, I love that. Um, and one of the the themes of in in the play, um one of several themes are you know, grief, loss, love, um, reconnecting, and and home, and and so and and and most importantly, healing, right?

[53:22] Iyvon Edebiri: And so um I guess this is a two-part question. What does healing mean to you and what does home mean to you?

[53:29] Cast: Oh man.

[53:30] Cast: I think the biggest thing that it means to me is almost like fluidity. Like the definition of healing in home is not permanent, and it can change to like whatever you need it to be at any given time that you need it.

[53:43] Cast: Like what home is to you a year ago, a month ago can maybe be something different, and I think that's what's so special. Like you, you get to define it.

[53:53] Cast: Yeah, and it's like a feeling that comes inside you, and only you get to decide that for yourself.

[53:58] Iyvon Edebiri: Beautiful.

[53:59] Iyvon Edebiri: Oh, wordsmith, we love it.

[54:01] Cast: I try, I try.

[54:04] Iyvon Edebiri: And so um we're gonna start to wrap up.

[54:07] Iyvon Edebiri: And so, one of the last two questions I was asking um the writers before um before the world stood still, you know, and things shut down and shit changed.

[54:20] Iyvon Edebiri: Um, so one of the questions I would ask, um, because y'all, 2020, what a time, different time, right?

[54:27] Iyvon Edebiri: Uh I used to ask, um, and this is for for listeners of Parsnip.

[54:31] Iyvon Edebiri: I used to ask, uh, what would you say to Donald Trump?

[54:33] Iyvon Edebiri: But we're not gonna do that because he's not president no more.

[54:36] Cast: I don't fucking know.

[54:38] Iyvon Edebiri: I was so great.

[54:39] Cast: You're gonna ask for me about it.

[54:41] Iyvon Edebiri: It's great.

[54:41] Cast: Love that.

[54:42] Iyvon Edebiri: The other question I used to ask, because um originally this uh the season five was for female identifying playwrights, so I want to make that acknowledgement that we've expanded from that because a lot of our playwrights and how they identify have expanded, and we want to acknowledge that um and celebrate that.

[55:04] Iyvon Edebiri: And so the question I used to ask, because it was 2019 when we had started with season five, and that was a hundred years after uh the ratification for um women, specific specifically white women, to get the power to vote.

[55:18] Iyvon Edebiri: Um, I used to ask, what what is what was women, what does the future of women look like a hundred years from now?

[55:25] Iyvon Edebiri: But we're gonna refine that.

[55:27] Iyvon Edebiri: And uh the question I want to ask for you and for the subsequent playwrights of the season is where do you see the future of gender equality in a hundred years?

[55:37] Cast: I know that seems loaded, but this is also uh an imaginations question.

[55:44] Cast: Oh my god.

[55:45] Cast: What are your wildish dreams, I guess, in a hundred years?

[55:48] Cast: If you were plopped back, what would you love to see?

[55:50] Cast: Oh man, I I think there's so many things I could think of if I wanted to think in like a socioeconomic political context.

[55:58] Cast: But love it.

[55:59] Cast: Since I, since I am a theater artist, I will think in the scope of theater arts.

[56:04] Cast: And I wanted to be that we're allowed to do like whatever the fuck we want.

[56:08] Cast: Like yes, love it.

[56:09] Cast: That we're just like given money to do whatever we want.

[56:12] Cast: We can stage whatever we want.

[56:13] Cast: We do because I work in fundraising.

[56:15] Cast: I don't want to have to write grant applications.

[56:18] Cast: I don't want to have to do like donor lunches.

[56:21] Iyvon Edebiri: Yes.

[56:22] Cast: I want it to just be that there's money for us to make art for the sake of making art.

[56:26] Cast: Yes, Bezos.

[56:27] Cast: I heard you.

[56:27] Cast: Hope you heard that.

[56:28] Cast: Please give us money.

[56:30] Cast: We just want to use it and spend it.

[56:33] Cast: Please money, please.

[56:35] Cast: Money, please.

[56:37] Iyvon Edebiri: Last question.

[56:38] Iyvon Edebiri: This one is an easy one.

[56:39] Iyvon Edebiri: And we always ask our playwrights this.

[56:41] Iyvon Edebiri: What did you have for breakfast this morning?

[56:44] Cast: I had a lox bagel for breakfast.

[56:46] Iyvon Edebiri: Fuck you!

[56:46] Iyvon Edebiri: That's what you do when you're in New York.

[56:48] Cast: You have a lox bagel.

[56:50] Cast: Yeah, my Audi Navy made sure of that, and I'm eternally grateful.

[56:54] Iyvon Edebiri: I love that.

[56:56] Iyvon Edebiri: Um, well, thank you so much, Molly, for being with us tonight and for writing this play to bring us all together.

[57:03] Iyvon Edebiri: Um I do have some thank yous for for all of the the collaborators who are part of this episode who made this happen.

[57:12] Iyvon Edebiri: So again, a warm round of applause to our wonderful cast this evening.

[57:19] Iyvon Edebiri: And our cast tonight um is Kristian Espiritu, Sergio Mauritz Ang, Vanessa Rappa, and Claro de los Reyes.

[57:32] Iyvon Edebiri: This episode was directed by Gaven Trinidad.

[57:37] Iyvon Edebiri: Our musician for the night was Cindy Latin.

[57:45] Iyvon Edebiri: Beautiful, beautiful vocals.

[57:48] Iyvon Edebiri: And this play tonight was written by the one and only Molly Olis Krost.

[57:58] Iyvon Edebiri: Big, big, big, big shout out to and thank you to Luke De Cola, our wonderful sound engineer and editor.

[58:06] Iyvon Edebiri: And uh thank you to our Parsnip team and Business Launch Productions.

[58:11] Iyvon Edebiri: BLP is a leading creative agency based in New York City, working with creatives all over the world.

[58:18] Iyvon Edebiri: And special thank you, as always, to the Mark O'Donnell Theater at the Entertainment Community Fund Arts Center in downtown Brooklyn for having us in their space.

[58:18] Iyvon Edebiri: The Entertainment Community Fund fosters stability and resiliency and provides a safety net for performing arts and entertainment professionals over their lifespan.

[58:38] Iyvon Edebiri: It envisions a world in which individuals contributing to our country's cultural vibrancy are supported, valued, and economically secure.

[58:47] Iyvon Edebiri: Before we get to hear our last song from our wonderful musician Cindy Latin, to close the night, we want to say thank you for listening to The Parsnip Ship.

[58:57] Iyvon Edebiri: Please follow us on Facebook and Instagram at the Parsnip Ship NY.

[59:02] Iyvon Edebiri: If you would like to help support the Parsnip Ship, please help us grow and reach new audiences by sharing your experience tonight and while you're listening with everyone and anyone you know across social networks.

[59:15] Iyvon Edebiri: You can listen to the first four and a half seasons of the Parsnip Ship and our special productions of This Is Where We Go and Brere Peach on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, and Podbean.

[59:26] Iyvon Edebiri: Join us for our next live recording on Monday, October 31st.

[59:32] Iyvon Edebiri: Halloween is a little spooky.

[59:36] Iyvon Edebiri: Luciana Gas by Javier Rivera de Bruin, directed by Rebecca Aparicio.

[59:43] Iyvon Edebiri: This episode was produced by the Parsnip Ship and Business Lunch Productions.

[59:47] Iyvon Edebiri: New plays, new music.

[59:49] Iyvon Edebiri: This is how we hear theater.

[59:52] Iyvon Edebiri: And to wrap up our night, Cindy Latin.

[59:55] Iyvon Edebiri: Thank you all.

[1:00:00] ♪ Musical number: "Five More Minutes" — performed by Cindy Latin ♪

[1:00:22] ♪ Musical number ♪

[1:03:24] ♪ Musical number ♪