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[0:00] Bobby Steggert: I'm Bobby Steggart, and this is The Quiet Part Out Loud.

[0:15] Bobby Steggert: You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy, or so the saying goes. And while I'm not necessarily from the country per se, my hometown is Frederick, Maryland, a historic town in a rural area of Western Maryland. The saying still applies. In terms of the age-old debate of nature versus nurture, one's environment growing up will shape them in countless ways. Now imagine my amazement when just a few weeks ago, I found out that Brent Comer, one of the stars of the Tony-winning musical The Outsiders, is not only from Frederick, Maryland, but went through the very same drama program and voice training that I did 15 years earlier. What you're about to hear is two boys, a generation apart, one looking back on his career and one looking ahead, coming together to explore what it means to come from the very same place, to have been taught by the very same people, to have dreamed of being on Broadway from the exact same high school stage.

I felt an instant, almost familial bond with Brent. And while his experience is also quite different from mine, he discovered performance by accident later in high school, whereas I knew what I wanted to do from early childhood. I couldn't help but feel that there are undeniable similarities about who we are and how our characters were formed. It meant so much to me to learn that my path had an influence on Brent's path, and I feel such pride for our little town, for the positive, embracing, nurturing arts community that incubated us both, and for the community that, in different ways, gave us both a chance to step into our authentic selves and to dream of the lives we would both be lucky enough to lead one day.

Brent, when I found out that you, too, were from Frederick, Maryland, it really excited me, because my experience growing up there in the 80s and 90s was that to be on Broadway was this completely different world. It was a pipe dream. There was no one in the community that had done that, and so it just felt like this other world that maybe one day I would touch. And I'm so curious, in terms of being from Frederick, Maryland, what did it mean for you in terms of your artistic development? What did you see for yourself coming from Frederick?

[2:44] Brent Comer: That's such a good question. I was always at odds with my artistic development. I didn't know, because I also was a part of the whole sports vacuum that took place in Maryland.

[2:55] Bobby Steggert: What sport?

[2:56] Brent Comer: Volleyball and track. And it's a pretty good town for developing athletic talent. And frankly, there was a lot of artistic success that I think you spearheaded in a lot of ways. I knew a few people who had—you were obviously the big one—but there was a lot of people who had gone on and done great things, and I was like, oh, is that the kind of career or life that I wanted? And I tell this story a lot. I actually picked a theater class by accident in high school.

[3:20] Bobby Steggert: What do you mean?

[3:23] Brent Comer: Oh, wow. No, this is fun. This is a fun story to tell. So I was playing sports in high school, and I wanted to do a newscasting class. But TJ, I don't know if they were doing this. First question, did you ever do any crossover with TJ at all?

[3:37] Bobby Steggert: Oh, yeah. So I would go there for half the day my senior year for the music program.

[3:42] Brent Comer: Oh, you went for the music program?

[3:44] Bobby Steggert: Yeah.

[3:45] Brent Comer: I went for the acting program.

[3:46] Bobby Steggert: We didn't have that yet.

[3:47] Brent Comer: Yeah, yeah. So they had that later on. I already went to TJ, so I would just stay in the auditorium. I would stay in the auditorium for half the day. Anyway, before that, they broadcast announcements, and they have a TV studio in that school. And they would bring us in there, and there was an entire class that took up two periods where you would sit there, and you would broadcast announcements. And mainly what that meant for a lot of people was you would sit on a computer, and you would edit some stuff together. And that's what I wanted to do when I was a sophomore because I had sports, and I wanted to do very little at the beginning of the day. It was not very academically rigorous of me. But what I accidentally did was I signed up for a musical theater class, where on the sheet of paper, it was like theater 4-5-2 or theater 9-3-6. I didn't know what the thing was. And I accidentally selected the musical theater class, and I went in on the first day, and we had to audition for the fall musical. And Jason Hoffman was running it.

[4:43] Brent Comer: So Jason, just for people listening, directed me in Joseph and The Secret Garden. I did a ton of stuff with him.

[4:49] Bobby Steggert: Yeah, I saw a video you do in Secret Garden. And so I went in and I sang Clavebo M from Rent, and I was in the fall musical.

[4:57] Brent Comer: Had you ever sung before?

[4:59] Bobby Steggert: Not in front of people.

[5:00] Brent Comer: Had you sung in the shower? Did you know that you could?

[5:02] Bobby Steggert: Yeah, yeah. I don't really remember. If I could listen to it now, I have no idea. But I remember it being like, oh, you know, that's okay. At the time, I had sung on my own, but not seriously or crazily. I just let it fly.

[5:18] Bobby Steggert: Wait, okay. I come from a family where there was no artistry. Is that the same for you, too?

[5:24] Brent Comer: No. My brother actually did a lot of musicals locally and did a lot of theater locally. He worked at The Met, which is, for those who don't know, it's the Maryland Ensemble Theater, which is a local theater company in Frederick. And he also did a lot of community theater. And I was going to plays and musicals since I was a kid. I always loved going to them. I liked going to those a lot more than I liked going to my other brother's sports events. I understood the form, at least on a basic level. And I just went in. And Jason also taught my oldest brother. And I was in that little room next to the theater, a little holding classroom. And that's where we did our little audition. And I went in there and I sang it.

And from then on, basically, I started doing it for social reasons. I was like, I'll do it because I like a lot of people in this class. Even when I first sang, it was a bit of a joke because I played sports and they were like, go up there and sing. And I was like, okay, I'm here. I wasn't supposed to be there. So you're like, you might as well go up and sing. And I did it as a joke, not thinking anything would come of it. And I was in a musical.

[6:28] Bobby Steggert: Did you have social confidence as a young person? Did getting up there in front of people scare you?

[6:34] Brent Comer: Yes, it did scare me. I wouldn't say I did it as a joke. I just didn't see myself as a singer. It wasn't like I thought singing was a joke. My friend who was a singer wanted me to get up and do it. And she was very nice to me and very supportive. And I was like, okay, I'll go do it. And it wasn't like making fun of singing. I always admired people who could get up there and do that because I struggle to this day, getting up in front of people and singing. It's horrifying.

[6:58] Bobby Steggert: Well, I studied singing from such an early age. I was singing in choirs from the time I was 10. Frederick Children's Chorus, voice lessons with Carol, who was your voice teacher as well from the time I was 12 years old. And one of my struggles with singing was that I was so trained classically that I had a hard time then in the musical theater world, finding my own authentic sound. And I got there as an adult. But in hearing you sing, there is this connection to an organic sound that almost sounds preferable to me than having been trained since I was 10. And do you find that also as a benefit to you?

[7:34] Brent Comer: You know, the grass is not always, as an artist, you always like, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. When I have that training and stuff, there's a lot of things that my voice doesn't do that I wish that it could do. I feel like it does come from a truthful place. But I do wish that I had that sort of knack for the technique. Do you know what I mean? I do wish that, because all Broadway is like pop.

[7:56] Bobby Steggert: Now it is.

[7:57] Brent Comer: You know what I mean? It's just all pop. And all that stuff that I grew up learning, it's youthful. Like my warm up is based in the classical legit place. But I'm always just pumping all that classical, legit stuff into my nose. Do you know what I mean? And I didn't do it with the intention of it being a contemporary sound. Do you know what I mean? It's just how the sound comes out of my mouth. And I started doing Les Mis, so that was the realm that I came from. Because I started, like you said, I learned through Carol when I was younger. And then in college, it was also based on a classical sound. And yeah, I never really learned how to make that transition. So I guess what maybe you and other people are hearing is my attempt to make my classical sound seem more authentic and me.

[8:51] Bobby Steggert: Listen, you have totally fooled me. You sound so deeply authentic on the album for The Outsiders.

[8:57] Brent Comer: Oh, thank you so much.

[8:59] Bobby Steggert: I started out asking you this question and it was about envisioning a career. I don't mean to make it about me, but it is my podcast. Did you know who I was? Did you know where I had gone after I graduated high school?

[9:13] Brent Comer: When I was in high school and doing theater in high school, that was the time you were doing Big Fish.

[9:19] Bobby Steggert: Okay.

[9:20] Brent Comer: And we actually came to a matinee of Big Fish.

[9:23] Bobby Steggert: Did I meet you?

[9:24] Brent Comer: Yes, you met us all very briefly. And we talked to you did a talk back with us very briefly.

[9:31] Bobby Steggert: Okay, I remember that.

[9:33] Brent Comer: And you had some tea. And we were all like sitting there and it was you and like maybe five other cast members. And we just picked your brain for a little while. Norbert walked across the stage. And we were like, what do you mean? And it was Yeah, so basically at In high school, you were like my North Star of things to go towards of things to try. I was like, Bobby Steggert, local and like Playbill. So yeah, I was like a huge fan of yours.

[10:01] Bobby Steggert: Oh my god. So did I make it seem more possible for you?

[10:05] Brent Comer: Mm hmm. Really?

[10:07] Brent Comer: 100% 100% you like when you did it, I was like, okay, so people from Frederick can go and have a career.

[10:14] Bobby Steggert: That's huge. That makes me feel so good.

[10:16] Brent Comer: Good. You should because I remember I was like in high school and I was like walking down the street and I was like, Oh my god, can't believe Bobby Steggert, a guy who grew up I don't Where did you live?

[10:26] Bobby Steggert: Right across from Baker Park. So like downtown?

[10:28] Brent Comer: Oh my god. Really? Yeah, yeah. A guy from Baker Park.

[10:33] Bobby Steggert: We're in bigger. I'm sorry. I don't want to get right across from that public pool.

[10:40] Brent Comer: No way. Oh my god. My friend lives there. I spent so much time there. But yeah, no, it's very Yeah, no, it was very encouraging. I remember just making that connection that I was like walking down the street when I was a kid in Times Square and knowing that like I was on my way to a show to somebody from Frederick was in and it made it like accessible to me. That's huge. Like the possibility was accessible.

[11:03] Bobby Steggert: Sometimes you don't know how you affect other people's journeys. And if I had just even a small part of making you feel like it was possible for you to get here. That means so much to me.

[11:13] Brent Comer: You were my hero in high school, correct? Yes. Like you were like my dude, so I can we can definitely do this.

[11:20] Bobby Steggert: So having the same voice teacher, what do you remember about Carol? What does she give you?

[11:26] Brent Comer: The thing was, is that I started off so late. And this thing was so foreign to me. So she was teaching, like what she would teach an infant about singing for 17 16 year old boy. And I was so nervous. I remember always being so nervous. And I remember just seeing my friends go in there and sing with her. And I remember always being scared and not like she was intimidating. I was always just scared to sing because it was something that was so new to me. And she really just encouraged me to challenge myself and to do things even though you're scared to do them. I think that's the big thing that I never really dropped from her.

[12:12] Brent Comer: I remember she would encourage me to compete in these big classical music competitions, where you'd have to perform with a grand piano on a huge stage. And I was always way too young and not really competitive.

[12:25] Bobby Steggert: She said you sang Les Mis, from what I remember.

[12:29] Brent Comer: Yeah, I mean, one of the songs that she gave me to sing was Empty Chairs and Empty Tables.

[12:32] Bobby Steggert: That's what she that's what it was. That's what she said that you'd sang Empty Chairs and Empty Tables. Yeah, like we like I heard so many stories about you. And it was just like, it was cool to like, oh, you became like my pathway and my connection to a career.

[12:46] Bobby Steggert: Wow. It's so funny. I reached out to you a couple weeks ago thinking like, well, I hope he says hi back. I didn't realize that you had any connection to me.

[12:52] Brent Comer: Oh my god. So you didn't know we were from we were both from Frederick.

[12:55] Bobby Steggert: I just found out.

[12:57] Brent Comer: Oh my god. That's insane. Yeah. That's crazy.

[13:01] Bobby Steggert: You could have when you got here, you could have written me and said, Hey, let's meet for coffee. You know what I mean? That would have been happening.

[13:07] Brent Comer: Oh, really?

[13:09] Brent Comer: Oh, that would be great.

[13:16] Bobby Steggert: We'll be right back. So anyway, what did you learn once you started performing in these school shows and from learning to sing? What did you learn about what your gift was?

[13:22] Brent Comer: To be honest, it wasn't really what I could get from theater. It was really what theater was giving to me at a time like I needed it. It was very much I grew up in a very hyper-masculine hetero childhood family. And my dad was a local football guy. And my brother played a lot of sports. And my other brother was weird. He didn't do theater. He didn't do sports that much. And he did theater, which was kind of unusual. On one side of my family, it's eight men. You know what I mean? It was very unusual for us to sort of deviate from. It wasn't that it wasn't encouraged, or it was discouraged at all. It was just not normal. It was weird. You know what I mean? My grandmother loved it. I don't know what my grandfather thought about it.

My parents were always very supportive of whatever I wanted to do. Frederick really does have this interesting dichotomy between being super middle American masculine. And then also it has this burgeoning arts community at the same time. It's so it's and they're right. Like in the city, they occupy the same spaces.

[14:25] Bobby Steggert: Exactly.

[14:26] Brent Comer: And some of it is encouraging. You can see the national conversation happening in this micro scale of one town. But it was very I grew up doing sports and not quite realizing that I didn't like it. And then I went to the theater basically by accident and realizing that not everything has to be really intense and really aggressive all the time. And that for me was it was interesting because, you know, I went in and we started choreographing and blocking scenes. And it was like I was doing plays in football. And in football, you like put plays together and you're like you hope that it goes this way. Like in theory, this will happen and it'll be successful. But we don't know what's going to happen when you do it.

And I'm like going into rehearsal for a musical and we'll block or choreograph something. And I'll be like, wait, so this happens every time. And they're like, yeah, it will like nine times out of ten. That's what's going to happen. I'm like, wow, that's amazing. And also, I just thought the people were nicer. I didn't really resonate with a super hyper-masculine environment in locker rooms and stuff. I just like it's a joke now. I don't really have too many friends that are men because I just want to like spill tea and about really emotional, deep stuff. And I feel like men, especially at that age, I just like didn't really connect with anyone.

[15:53] Bobby Steggert: It's so interesting that I'm gay and I felt like theater saved me from the toxic masculinity around me. And in a different way, it saved you from the same thing.

[16:01] Brent Comer: Yeah. And the thing is I can identify it's weird. I don't really know where I stand with my own masculinity. It's something I'm exploring. I'm a straight man, but I don't know to what degree in the conventional sense of masculinity like I fall under. And it's just something that I think is like a huge spectrum. And I identify with a lot of masculine things. There are things about me that I guess a conventional man could say I'm not very conventionally masculine.

[16:32] Bobby Steggert: Does that ever lead to any sort of insecurity for you?

[16:35] Brent Comer: Not really. I think it did when I was younger. It makes me feel like I have trouble connecting with people sometimes like I have trouble connecting with other men. If that makes any sense, I like I don't know what it is, especially like sometimes other straight theater men, it's difficult to sort of get along with because they're a very particular kind of artist, in my opinion, in my experience.

[17:00] Bobby Steggert: Well, they're certainly the minority.

[17:02] Brent Comer: Yes. Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm interested in hearing a straight person say that because I've had these same thoughts.

[17:09] Bobby Steggert: Yeah, especially doing a show like The Outsiders when you're exploring the masculine qualities of these really broken, insecure, young people and who essentially cover up their brokenness with sort of conventional masculinity. And it's a hard thing to explore all the time because I identify with the idea of using masculinity and toughness to cover up your brokenness.

[17:29] Brent Comer: Do you think that your family, for better or worse, prepares you to be in a show like The Outsiders?

[17:35] Bobby Steggert: Yeah.

[17:36] Brent Comer: One thing that is an advantage in this is like I do have two other brothers. I'm the youngest as opposed to the oldest. And I guess in Frederick, the character I play is Daryl Curtis. And I know Daryl Curtises. Do you know what I mean? I know several of them.

[17:52] Bobby Steggert: Say more for someone who might not know the story of The Outsiders. Who is a Daryl Curtis?

[17:56] Brent Comer: The Outsiders is essentially at its core, it's about this young boy named Ponyboy. And it's his legal name. And he has two older brothers. One's name is Soda Pop. And the other one's name is Daryl Curtis, the oldest one. Parents die in a car crash in a train accident. And the oldest brother is left to provide for his younger two brothers. And also accompanied and raised by their friends, other greasers who live in the same community. And they're essentially a chosen family. So it's basically like this gang of people who overcome adversity together. And my part is the oldest brother whose parents have died. And now he has to take care of his two younger brothers. While he was a potential football star and going to go off and do great things, his life was stifled by the death of his parents.

And so you know, people from our hometown who have had to sacrifice their dreams, definitely people who had dreams of doing stuff who wanted to go off and do great things. And maybe they those dreams weren't stifled by the dramatic circumstances of their parents' death or something. But you can always find examples of people who had big dreams who wanted to go off and do something and don't go off and do the things that they dreamt of doing when they were kids.

[19:13] Brent Comer: I was terrified of the idea of trying to become an actor and failing, you know, when I was, you know, at home. And my opinion is not that people fail, I just think people change. People who work nonstop. And especially in Frederick, there's a lot of people who just like work a lot of really long, arduous hours. And there's a lot of, you know, single parent families. A lot of my friends came from single parent homes. And you could just see how hard these people would work and how it was weathered down their soul in a way. And not like it would make them bad people, it would just they just had a lot of responsibility and a lot of things to do. And it's people who just seem like Sisyphus, just like pushing the rock back up the fucking up the hill. And the mentality that comes with that sort of outlook that comes with that. And like, growing up, I just sort of realized that you have to really love who you're doing this for.

[20:09] Bobby Steggert: When you were fearful of pursuing your dream.

[20:13] Brent Comer: I was like a deer in headlights. I didn't go to school immediately. I took a gap year. And I worked at a restaurant in Frederick for a year.

[20:21] Bobby Steggert: What restaurant?

[20:22] Brent Comer: It's Madrone's.

[20:23] Bobby Steggert: I don't know it.

[20:25] Brent Comer: I also worked at a place called Aishe, which was downtown, which is a Mediterranean restaurant, which I loved. And yeah, I did that. And I realized that I wanted to do theater in college. So I went and I was very unorganized. And then I went to James Madison University, which was right down the road from us.

[20:45] Bobby Steggert: That's where my brother went.

[20:46] Brent Comer: Really?

[20:47] Bobby Steggert: Yeah.

[20:48] Brent Comer: Yeah, I love they have a great program. And I went and I studied musical theater, still figuring out if this is what I wanted to do. I was really honestly and still I'm scared of performing. I knew that I was like, I was good. I knew that I was effective at it. And I was having fun exploring different kinds of what really in college for me, I was just figuring out what I liked and what I didn't like about theater, like the kind of work that I was interested in and the kind of work that I really wasn't interested in. And really, what I learned is that I'm good at the things that I'm interested in.

[21:22] Brent Comer: And my enthusiasm really pushes me to be a useful collaborator in things that I like. I was also discouraged by the idea of such stage fright. I was so shy. I didn't really know who I was. And I was always just self-conscious and insecure. And to a certain degree, I still am. I don't think it goes away. It's just something you learn to mitigate more. I still feel like fish out of water, you know, coming from where I came from, I still like, I don't like, I don't quite fit it. I started so late. And some of these people had started even though I've been doing it long enough to be like, this is what I do, because you just know people who had been performing since they were like six. And I just didn't relate to that. And I felt like that was a detrimental setback for me artistically. But then I started to realize that actually was why it was my strength as an artist was the fact that anything that made me different made me unique.

[22:19] Bobby Steggert: Well, how does the fish out of water quality actually help you?

[22:23] Brent Comer: Oh, I think it makes me I'm able to what I do is I sort of like, identify the conventions of musical theater, because I never really grew up with them. And I'm not afraid to sort of bring the things that are inherently myself into my work. Because really, that's all I can do. And for the longest time I was trying to be like, in college, I was trying to be the package musical theater deal. Like I would wear Sperry's and like a shirt like this, or something but like a polo version of it and tuck it in. And I would just try to be the musical theater guy. And I slowly started to realize that like, the more that I sort of just like, shed that and the more I can sort of plug in things about myself into auditioning and into my work and not try to copy other people's performances or try to be like other performers, but make something my own.

That's really what makes me valuable as a performer. That's what young performers do is copy their heroes and adopt a similar sound. And I slowly started to realize that I'm never going to be able to do these things like these people do. I'm not going to be able to sing like Brian R.C. James or any of those guys. Like I have to develop my own like interpretation of things. Do you know what I mean?

[23:37] Bobby Steggert: Yeah, you were insulated from being too shaped by other people's idea of who you should be.

[23:41] Brent Comer: Exactly. And I was I tried to do that for a very long time. I tried to be like, okay, well, how do I do these things? These people have done it for so long. And I'm not saying like, that I have such a unique take on everything. It's just that like things that I feared made me different, actually were my strength going into work spaces.

[24:03] Bobby Steggert: When and how soon did The Outsiders come along in terms of you getting to New York?

[24:08] Brent Comer: I did Les Mis for a little while. Well, I graduated college. I went to the city like five days after I graduated. And I just started working as a host, not making any money. And luckily, like three months in, I got a Les Mis tour. I toured for that, toured with that for nine months, and then COVID happened and shut the entire industry down. And then I slowly made it back to New York and I moved to Queens where I'm at right now. And I auditioned for like a year and didn't get anything. I made it to a few final rounds of stuff. I didn't get anything really. And then I just sort of like got disenchanted with the whole industry. And I was working at a distillery in Frederick and was going to work in sales there.

[24:49] Bobby Steggert: What's the distillery? I got to know.

[24:50] Brent Comer: Clintock Distillery.

[24:52] Bobby Steggert: Totally down by the creek.

[24:53] Brent Comer: Down by the creek, baby.

[24:55] Bobby Steggert: I've heard their gin.

[24:56] Brent Comer: Yeah, it's really good, isn't it? I have some right there.

[24:59] Bobby Steggert: Wow.

[25:01] Brent Comer: So you thought, I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm going back home.

[25:04] Brent Comer: Yeah, I was just like, you know, I'm going to do something different. It was that fish out of water thing. Like, this just isn't for me, you know? And here's one last audition before you stop doing musical theater. And it was The Outsiders. And I was like, oh, I'm actually really passionate about this. Because I love the story. And I got it. I got the out of town. And I was like, okay, well, I guess I'm a fucking actor again.

[25:29] Bobby Steggert: Wow. Has it changed your opinion about what you want to do?

[25:34] Brent Comer: The Outsiders?

[25:36] Bobby Steggert: Yeah. Like now that you're in it, and it's a huge hit, does it make you want to do more?

[25:42] Brent Comer: Yeah, I think it does. I definitely want to explore more and see what other kind of work is out there. But I think I'm discovering that I had dreamed about that for so long. You know, I dreamed about getting to Broadway for so long, ever since I heard about you doing Big Fish. And then I was in college, and I heard that you were pursuing a second career. And I was like, huh, I wonder why he would do that. And now that I'm here doing it, and I know that I'm new to the party, but I can totally see why somebody would want to learn something else. I love the industry. I love the show.

[26:17] Brent Comer: The show has given me so much, and it has provided so much, but I can just like, I'm sort of like, okay, what now? You know what I mean? I have a lot of interests and passions and like, I don't really know if I want to be, I don't know how to say this. I am, I don't want to be just like, chasing the next job. Do you know what I mean?

[26:36] Bobby Steggert: I so deeply know what you mean. I know what you mean more than you could possibly know.

[26:40] Brent Comer: Yeah.

[26:42] Bobby Steggert: Because I chased jobs for, you know, 30 years.

[26:45] Brent Comer: Yeah, tell me.

[26:46] Bobby Steggert: It never ends. I think that what you're anticipating is quite central to the challenge. It's that no success ever means you will remain where you've arrived. You will always have to find the next rung.

[27:01] Brent Comer: Yeah. And it's not that I don't have an appetite for the grind. I just like, I don't know.

[27:17] Bobby Steggert: We'll be right back. May I ask you in terms of the show itself, something I never experienced was a really long run of a really well-selling show. So you're in an experience that I don't have. What's hard about it? Because we know what's great about it, but what's hard about it?

[27:35] Brent Comer: As I'm learning is problems aren't really going away. They're just changing. You know, like the show wasn't successful, then our problem would be now we got to find another gig. But now that the show is being well received, our problems are now, okay, well, how do we maintain and how do we make sure that we can keep this thing running? And it is a challenge because it's a really physical show. It's an emotional show. For me, it's actually, it's very difficult for me to do if I'm just being honest. I don't want to step up to it and not give everything that I can. And I know that I have to find a way. If I'm going up there, like usually I'm crying every night and it's hard for me to expose that part of myself to a thousand people who I don't know, even though it's a gift to be able to do it.

It does take mileage on your heart. How do I emotionally prep myself for another week of just bawling my eyes out in front of a thousand people every night? It's hard, especially when you're facing challenges in your personal life.

[28:34] Bobby Steggert: That was one of my biggest challenges. I would do certain shows that were just so emotionally demanding. And it, for me, would blanket my entire experience. I felt really emotionally imprisoned by some of the work I was doing. Does that resonate?

[28:49] Brent Comer: Yes, it totally does. And the thing is, it's not a shot at the work. The work is beautiful. It's just, it puts miles on your heart. There are times when it blankets the rest of my life, how I feel in the last 15 minutes of this show. And there's a lot of dissonance between the last 15 minutes of the show and when you walk outside and you see the crowd. And they're all so happy. And you want to share excitement because you're glad that your work resonates so well with people. You don't want to go out to a graveyard. I usually am crying a lot at the end of the show. And I'm just accessing a part of myself that really is kind of icky at times. But then I go out the stage door and our fans were all so great and nice and they're so supportive.

And it's just hard walking out. And it's like newsies out there. It's strange. It's disorienting. It's not to say that it's not great. It's wonderful. But then you step away from the theater after that. Like what just happened? Are you finding it challenging to take care of yourself outside of the context of work?

[29:57] Brent Comer: Yeah, it's hard, really hard. And because it's also like, how do you balance a social life with eight shows a week when the show is so demanding? And there are days when my entire week will just be like work, home, work, gym, home, which is great for a majority of your life. But there are times when you feel really, really isolated, man. It takes a toll.

[30:29] Bobby Steggert: I want so badly for you to be able to experience these things and find your way through them. Because what you're speaking to is eventually what drove me out of the business. And I still have mixed feelings about it. I miss it. I miss so much about live performance, especially. So do you have an instinct about how to make it sustainable for yourself?

[30:48] Brent Comer: An instinct to make it sustainable for myself? Well, it's where I'm at. As of right now, the journey is trying to find, okay, so how do I make it sustainable? I really have to keep it light outside of work. I really have to find and be proactive about the time that I spend outside of the theater. And okay, what can I do today outside of work that's not heavy? You know what I mean? What friendships do I have that I can nurture that aren't in the theater? Do you know what I mean? Like my roommate is my best friend. And usually if I'm not at the theater doing stuff there, then I'm hanging out with him.

[31:30] Bobby Steggert: Is he a theater person?

[31:30] Brent Comer: He is, but he's also the same mind that you need to have a life outside of it. So that's sort of what I'm finding the balance of. How do I sustain a life outside of there between the hours of 10 o'clock in the morning and five in the afternoon? Everybody's really working and actors are getting ready to work. Do you know what I mean?

[31:49] Bobby Steggert: Yeah. I remember one of the hardest things was that feeling even early in the morning of having to save my energy for 8 p.m.

[31:57] Brent Comer: Yeah, dude. I'm like, okay, well, got to keep it. I have to keep it at a medium pace till tonight. And it gets easier. It gets easier, which is good. And being at the theater fills me up. It's my favorite part of the day doing that show. And I'm so grateful to be able to do it. It's a weird career, man. It's a weird job to have. And it's not conducive to the lifestyles of other people who don't do the same thing.

[32:25] Bobby Steggert: And that's why I feel like a lot of our relationships end up being theater ends up being a community because everybody shares the same weird, strange lifestyle.

[32:35] Brent Comer: Yeah. I think it's why, for example, as a therapist, I have so many artist clients because I understand that lifestyle. There's so much unspoken understanding for the weird lives that we've lived.

[32:46] Bobby Steggert: Yeah.

[32:47] Brent Comer: So something you said earlier about other skills that you wish you could use. What are they?

[32:55] Brent Comer: I really want to teach. That's really my other passion. And I guess I could teach things in the arts at some point. But my end goal for everything is to become a teacher. Because there's people who taught me and many of the same people who taught you. I want to take up that role in other young people's lives and help them figure out their identity through the arts, if that makes any sense. Because the arts have definitely made me challenge my idea of my identity. Do you know what I mean? In a way that isn't so extreme, but in a sense that I don't have to be Mr. Sports Masculine Guy that I learned from a very young age from the arts. And then continuing to explore is there are so many things about me that were developed by that sort of lifestyle that weren't really correct, like ideas of masculinity that the arts challenged for me. And it's brought me closer to a healthier way of understanding myself and my own feelings. And I feel like that's a really sacred thing to pass on to other people.

[33:52] Bobby Steggert: And the irony is, I didn't realize that I could have more than one career until I left. But the truth is, you can do it all. You can be an actor and a teacher. You can do it all together.

[34:02] Brent Comer: Yeah. Yeah. The thing is, I understand that in theory. I understand that that can happen. But I'm excited to figure out how that balance works and what the next steps of doing that would be. I've always told myself that I really want to be an actor for a long, long time. I sort of want to be able to self-evaluate and be like, I don't really know. Okay. Like in five years, I'm going to be like, okay, are we happy? Are there things still out there that interest me that could feed me personally? Do you know what I mean?

[34:35] Bobby Steggert: I do. And you have to be so dedicated to succeed. And at the same time, I think you hanging on to this knowledge that you have more worth than your worth as an actor is also what can help you sustain it.

[34:47] Brent Comer: Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. It's good to hear. But that's always a journey of understanding because it's validating to be a part of a show that's successful and it's easy to tie your identity to it.

[35:01] Bobby Steggert: Of course. I think tying your identity to it is dangerous, but enjoying the hell out of it is totally worth it.

[35:07] Brent Comer: Yeah. I know. But where's that balance? Where's that balance? Sometimes you'll see actors who just aren't happy doing it. And I remember as a young actor working in a show, seeing actors much more experienced who'd spent a lot more time in the industry than I had, just like this disenchantment with it. I remember just asking, well, why are you still doing it? Do you know what I mean? Why are you still here? Not really understanding why they were still here, but just recognizing this phenomenon of them being stuck and just being horrified at that.

[35:42] Bobby Steggert: Well, so many actors, I've heard it so much. They say, well, I don't have any other skills. I wouldn't know what to do. This is all I know. And what we so often deny as artists is the unbelievable and layered collection of gifts we have in terms of communicating and being in relationship and understanding our emotional lives. And that can go a lot of places.

[36:03] Brent Comer: And I'm interested in exploring those things. And I want to continue to be an actor, to be clear. I'm very excited about what places the actor journey will take me. I want to also explore other parts of myself that aren't completely fed by the theater.

[36:16] Bobby Steggert: Before we end, I would love to ask you what Frederick, Maryland still gives you, what it symbolizes to you as you move forward and are no longer there.

[36:28] Brent Comer: It's safe haven for me, honestly. I love that place. When I was there, I didn't really appreciate the simplicity of a hometown like that. And it's a bigger hometown. It's not a tiny place. But after being in a city for so long at this point, as long as I've ever been in the city of my life, I miss back roads. And I miss the sound of bugs at night. I know it sounds stupid, but I miss like the openness. It's like the shire to me. And there are times when the city gets really intense. And I just want to go home for a little while and just say hi to my parents and remember where I came from.

[37:09] Bobby Steggert: You know what I observe it gave both of us in different times?

[37:12] Brent Comer: What?

[37:13] Bobby Steggert: Real nurturing without pressure.

[37:15] Brent Comer: Yeah. Yes, it did. It was a great place that did allow me to explore the things that I wanted to explore. And even though it was a big sports town when I was growing up, I guess it still is maybe, it didn't make me feel guilt or shame about things that I wanted to do. You know what I mean? And I feel like that's rare for a lot of upbringings.

[37:41] Bobby Steggert: Yeah. And then in terms of the arts education, there was real support without the undue pressure of having to succeed to some sort of arbitrary level. There was artistry without being pushed.

[37:54] Brent Comer: Yes. Yes. I feel like art in that place definitely comes from an authentic place. I think they encourage an artistry that definitely comes from you. At least when I was in high school, you know, and when I was doing theater there, I would remember just sharing things that I love. I think that's how people develop their own styles and authenticity is recognizing things that they love and finding out what makes those things resonate within them. And then just pulling those things out of themselves. Do you know what I mean? And I think that it definitely cultivated an environment like, you know what I mean?

[38:32] Bobby Steggert: Well, before we end, I want to say Carol, she died a couple of years ago and she came to see Big Fish. It meant so much to me that she came and I got to thank her for her influence in getting me to where I got. And while she can't see you in the show, I know she would be so proud of you.

[38:49] Brent Comer: Thank you. That means a lot. I really, I miss that woman. She taught me so much in the time that I knew her.

[38:59] Bobby Steggert: Remember her fingernails clicking on the piano keys?

[39:02] Brent Comer: Yeah. Yeah.

[39:04] Bobby Steggert: Remember her husband?

[39:05] Brent Comer: Larry.

[39:06] Bobby Steggert: Larry, baby.

[39:07] Brent Comer: Larry was a character.