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[0:37] Laura Camien: Ha ha, welcome to the Sparks File, your one-stop yodle for creative inspiration.

[0:44] Susan Blackwell: I'm Laura Camien.

[0:46] Susan Blackwell: And I'm Susan Blackwell.

[0:47] Laura Camien: If you're an OG listener, welcome back.

[0:49] Susan Blackwell: Sparkler, if you're joining us for the first time, welcome.

[0:52] Laura Camien: But you may be asking yourself, what exactly is a spark file?

[0:56] Susan Blackwell: Where do I get one?

[0:57] Laura Camien: What do I file in it?

[0:58] Susan Blackwell: These are such good questions, and we've got answers.

[1:01] Laura Camien: A spark file is a place where you consistently collect all of your inspirations and fascinations.

[1:07] Susan Blackwell: Here's the deal. We are makers who make all kinds of things.

[1:11] Laura Camien: If you're like us and you're making stuff all the time or want to be making stuff all the time, you know the wellspring of inspiration can run a little dry.

[1:20] Susan Blackwell: So we're on the lookout for fresh ideas, images, and inspiration that spark our creativity and pique our curiosity.

[1:27] Laura Camien: Things that inspire us to get up off of our asses and make things like this podcast.

[1:33] Susan Blackwell: Or a delicately embroidered mailbag with the words iHeartU S P S on it.

[1:42] Laura Camien: Or a delicately hand-painted mailbox with daisies on the side.

[1:48] Susan Blackwell: Oh.

[1:49] Laura Camien: Every episode, we're gonna reach into the spark pile and exchange some sparks.

[1:54] Susan Blackwell: And from time to time we're gonna talk to some folks who spark us too.

[1:57] Laura Camien: And if you're not careful, you might just get your letter picked out of the hopper.

[2:01] Susan Blackwell: So without further ado, let's open up the spark pile.

[2:06] Laura Camien: Keep well. Did you ever uh there was a children's show that we loved when we were growing up where they were like send us, you know, you could enter contests and stuff, and they'd be like, We're gonna pick somebody's name out of the hopper.

[2:18] Susan Blackwell: Is that a is that a phrase that you're familiar with?

[2:21] Laura Camien: Uh yeah, but I wouldn't have traced it back to that. But picking something out of the hopper, yeah.

[2:26] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Out of the hopper. I was like, is that something that's only known to like children who watched that one television show in the you know southwestern Ohio region?

[2:38] Laura Camien: Wasn't it a romper room or something like that?

[2:41] Susan Blackwell: It wasn't Ropper Room, it was locally produced. It was called Clubhouse 22.

[2:44] Laura Camien: And they always you could write in and they would pick somebody's name out of the hopper, and you would get they would mail you like a like a giant, you know, those sugar daddy, those those really like caramely chewy they would mail you a super giant one of those anyway.

[3:00] Laura Camien: Oh my gosh.

[3:02] Susan Blackwell: I never get one.

[3:04] Laura Camien: My brother got one.

[3:05] Susan Blackwell: My brother did. I did not.

[3:08] Laura Camien: I did not.

[3:09] Susan Blackwell: Yes. You know what I'm gonna do for you? Not right this minute, but get me a giant sugar daddy.

[3:11] Laura Camien: What?

[3:16] Susan Blackwell: Uh no, I'm gonna look up out of the hopper for you. I'm gonna find out where does that come from.

[3:20] Laura Camien: There's a spark for you. Or I could just buy you a giant sugar daddy.

[3:26] Susan Blackwell: Well, I think those great big tumblers that they put, you know, like if there's a contest or people write in and they spin it around and then they reach in and they pull out one contestant's name. I think that is called a hopper, isn't it?

[3:40] Laura Camien: I don't know. I've I don't know. We're gonna find out.

[3:41] Susan Blackwell: Was walking by one, I don't think I would be like, hey, there's the hopper.

[3:47] Laura Camien: Cammy and you're gonna get to the bottom of this. And I appreciate you for it.

[3:51] Susan Blackwell: Cams, it's a mailbag day.

[3:53] Laura Camien: It's a mailbag.

[3:55] Susan Blackwell: It's a buffet, really, of all kinds of things.

[3:58] Laura Camien: Someone will send us a sugar daddy in the mail.

[4:01] Susan Blackwell: Oh, no, no. Except as an email. It's an email bag.

[4:04] Laura Camien: And it's bad for our um we don't need that.

[4:09] Susan Blackwell: Don't think we want that.

[4:10] Laura Camien: We don't want that. We don't know.

[4:11] Susan Blackwell: But if you would like to send us each a beautiful Rolex, we would accept that.

[4:16] Laura Camien: Word. Hey, the first thing I want to share, Cammy, and it isn't a letter. It's a spark source that I love. And I think you love it.

[4:25] Susan Blackwell: It's Brain Picker.

[4:27] Laura Camien: Oh, do you know what I mean?

[4:28] Susan Blackwell: I love Brain Picker.

[4:29] Laura Camien: Yes. So if you're if you're listening and you don't know, Brain Picker is a social media account and a blog created by a person named Maria Popova.

[4:38] Susan Blackwell: And she posted something the other day that I loved and I just wanted to share it.

[4:42] Laura Camien: So enjoy this. This is these are these are Maria's words.

[4:47] Susan Blackwell: Long, long before Carl Sagan enchanted our collective conscience with the fact that we're all made of star stuff.

[4:54] Laura Camien: Astrophysicist Cecilia Payne, born in 1900, established this fact by discovering the chemical composition of the cosmos.

[5:03] Susan Blackwell: She was the first person to earn a PhD in astronomy at Radcliffe, Harvard, the first woman to chair a Harvard department, and the only female voice on the airwaves of the pioneering radio talks from the Harvard College Observatory.

[5:18] Laura Camien: Wow.

[5:19] Susan Blackwell: The world's first public broadcast of popular science, nearly a century before, Radio Lab.

[5:24] Laura Camien: In her spare time, she made this magnificent embroidery of Supernova Remnant Cass A, a celebration of the moment she first looked at a supernova spectrum and realized that planetary nebulae are expanding rather than rotating.

[5:39] Susan Blackwell: A moment she considered one of the rarest ecstasies of her life.

[5:44] Laura Camien: And I we're gonna share this on social media, but the needlepoint, Cam's, I just shared the photo with you.

[5:51] Susan Blackwell: That is the needle point that she made of a supernova remnant of Cass A. And I want this made into an Afghan.

[6:01] Laura Camien: Can anybody help make this happen for me?

[6:04] Susan Blackwell: I don't know how to make that happen, but I think it's an amazing spark, and it would be a kick ass afkin.

[6:11] Laura Camien: It would be amazing.

[6:13] Susan Blackwell: It is gorgeous.

[6:15] Laura Camien: Isn't that great that she she made that amazing discovery? And then she was like, in her spare time, was like, I'll make a needle point of it.

[6:23] Susan Blackwell: That's how she talks.

[6:28] Laura Camien: I love that. That was I love what a spark. She's a spark at that needle points a spark. And please, somebody make me an upkin.

[6:34] Susan Blackwell: Anyway, all of it's a spark. And brain pickings is a spark. I get their like weekly newsletter or bi weekly.

[6:42] Laura Camien: I mean, Maria is prolific. I mean, there's a lot of brain pickings and really, really in depth.

[6:49] Susan Blackwell: So good. She did a brain picking recently about Emily Dickinson, and it reminded me of the you had told that story.

[6:57] Laura Camien: Wasn't it Emily Dickinson who after she passed in in her will. She had her siblings do the scissoring to delete passages.

[7:06] Susan Blackwell: And after I read Maria Popova's brain picking about it, I was like, I think they were probably deleting the parts out about potentially. I'm just guessing. I'm speculating. I am not a scholar of Emily Dickinson, but I'm guessing it was about her love affair with her her female uh lover of many, many, many, many years.

[7:26] Laura Camien: Absolutely. One hundred percent that's what it was.

[7:30] Susan Blackwell: I think so. For sure. And then the question is like, did she ask them to, or did they feel they needed to for some other reason?

[7:41] Laura Camien: You know, was it about their issues with it and the world finding out, or was it her choice?

[7:47] Susan Blackwell: It really but it is I I do love Maria Popova. If you're listening, we love your work. Thank you so much for all the sparks.

[7:56] Laura Camien: Um good. Shall we dig into this mailbag here?

[7:59] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, what you got?

[8:00] Laura Camien: Let's do it. I've got one. I'm gonna pull the letter out of the hopper, give it a good tumble.

[8:06] Susan Blackwell: I'm picking my in and pulling it out. This first email comes to us from Edward.

[8:11] Laura Camien: The subject line, you are amazing.

[8:15] Susan Blackwell: I hope that doesn't make you laugh, Edward.

[8:17] Laura Camien: Well, makes Camion laugh.

[8:19] Susan Blackwell: I just only because I love it so.

[8:21] Laura Camien: Please say it again. And my healthy self-esteem, you are amazing.

[8:25] Susan Blackwell: I'm like, hell yeah, Edward. Um, the price of admission. I'm more of an interpretive artist than a creative artist.

[8:32] Laura Camien: The manner in which I describe myself creatively is as a music educator and choral director.

[8:38] Susan Blackwell: I am coming to the end of my 30th year as a public school teacher.

[8:43] Laura Camien: Edward, congratulations.

[8:45] Susan Blackwell: Amazing. It's tremendous, tremendous.

[8:47] Laura Camien: My creative risk during quarantine is that I have been sending my friends or people who I am uh oh, I love this. I've been sending my friends or people who may be alone or others whom I haven't been in contact with for a while, little songs on their phones to lift their spirits.

[9:03] Susan Blackwell: The risk is that I rarely feel that my singing is ready for prime time, but I am pressing send anyway, not letting perfection be the enemy of good to quote two very bright ladies who, let's be honest, Edward quoted somebody else.

[9:16] Laura Camien: But what a beautiful thing. You know, I was just talking with our dear friend Laura Coward recently. Hello, Laura Coward, friend of the podcast.

[9:24] Susan Blackwell: Um, because uh she is she we she was talking about how people who are quarantining alone are sometimes that we talk about older people, people who are immunocompromised, who are quarantining alone, but sometimes um younger people who are quarantining alone get left out of that story, and it's challenging for them.

[9:45] Laura Camien: And I asked Laura, as somebody who is going through this experience right now, how I could be of better support to people who are in that situation.

[9:54] Susan Blackwell: And she shared some great ideas, and this is another great spark about how to be of support to people who are quarantining alone, people of anyone. Send them little songs, send them songs like Edward, Edwards. That's a great price of admission.

[10:07] Laura Camien: That's a great price of admission. You know, don't obsess over it. Hit send.

[10:12] Susan Blackwell: Hit send, baby. Um, so here's the message. I think that the spark file is important, unique, and wonderful.

[10:23] Laura Camien: That's just the beginning. I have been with your podcast from the beginning and loved so much of what you have to share.

[10:28] Susan Blackwell: I've been moved to tears many times as you tell your stories with such openness of humanity and emotion.

[10:34] Laura Camien: A beautiful thing indeed.

[10:35] Susan Blackwell: Edward, you smooth talker. This year, when I have given an assignment to the students whom I teach, oh, that's some good grammar.

[10:43] Laura Camien: I always end with progress not perfection.

[10:46] Susan Blackwell: This week, as my students reflected on their work, I was moved by the number of responses that reference progress, not perfection.

[10:54] Laura Camien: I hope that these students realize that they are allowed to face creativity with greater ease of spirit and willingness to risk a lesson I continue to learn.

[11:03] Susan Blackwell: Your words have been heard, passed through me, and translated to the many students I teach.

[11:07] Laura Camien: Your words inspire me, and I am proud to be a conduit for the beautiful things you share.

[11:12] Susan Blackwell: So what is the message? Thank you and keep on being your beautiful selves.

[11:17] Laura Camien: Edward, Edward Edward, Edward, Edward.

[11:21] Susan Blackwell: Edward, Edward. I'm gonna be straight with you.

[11:28] Laura Camien: Times have not always been the easiest times.

[11:31] Susan Blackwell: No.

[11:31] Laura Camien: And I have not always felt like I have been completely successful in teaching people, leading people, and inspiring people.

[11:39] Susan Blackwell: And when you say these words, it is like a balm for my soul.

[11:45] Laura Camien: Yeah, it is.

[11:46] Susan Blackwell: Thank you. It really, really is.

[11:55] Laura Camien: Honestly, we couldn't have gotten this. It was like a message from the universe on just the most perfect day.

[12:01] Susan Blackwell: You know, like we work with a lot of teachers. And if there's anyone who's really going through it right now, it's teachers.

[12:09] Laura Camien: Word.

[12:10] Susan Blackwell: And we talked about that in some of our sparks like a couple weeks ago. I think the way through it is really to focus on the students.

[12:22] Laura Camien: You know, what is the desired impact? Who and how are we trying to help?

[12:27] Susan Blackwell: And Edward, you have it going on. Like you sound like such a gift to your students, and you should know that your words in turn pass through them and then on to the next person and on to the next.

[12:42] Laura Camien: I love that.

[12:43] Susan Blackwell: So kudos to you, Edward. It's so interesting, Cam's. Like uh we really are during this time trying to serve at the highest level, always, but especially during this time.

[12:55] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[12:56] Susan Blackwell: Um, and not always feeling like we're successful at that. And sometimes feeling like we're abject failures at that.

[13:02] Laura Camien: But the real takeaway, and thanks for the reminder, Edward, is progress, not perfection.

[13:08] Susan Blackwell: That's right. Progress, not perfection. Thank you.

[13:10] Laura Camien: Sometimes we have to relearn that lesson ourselves.

[13:14] Susan Blackwell: That is correct. In fact, our next letter refers to exactly that.

[13:23] Laura Camien: This is a letter from Sharon.

[13:25] Susan Blackwell: And Sharon's subject line is also full disclosure.

[13:30] Laura Camien: Sharon's a friend. I've worked with Sharon years ago on various projects.

[13:36] Susan Blackwell: And now she knows Susan as well.

[13:39] Laura Camien: So she knows us. So she can write a subject line like this.

[13:43] Susan Blackwell: Her subject is your fucking sound is fine.

[13:47] Laura Camien: We'll get to why she said that in a moment.

[13:50] Susan Blackwell: Your fucking sound is fine. Price of admission, Sharon says, this is not that creative, but it was definitely putting myself out there.

[13:58] Laura Camien: I noticed that a lot of older people in my community wanted to be in on Zoom meetings for my temple for the library board meetings, but they all begged off, saying they didn't know how to do it.

[14:10] Susan Blackwell: So I started one by one calling them and helping them get on.

[14:16] Laura Camien: And I'm not an IT person.

[14:18] Susan Blackwell: I know, isn't that awesome? Um, she says, I'm not an IT person by any stretch, but I felt like this was something I could do safely and helpfully.

[14:27] Laura Camien: It's such a rush when suddenly their face shows up and they see mine and we know we've succeeded.

[14:32] Susan Blackwell: That is the work of the baby Jesus right there.

[14:35] Laura Camien: That's right. That's an awesome price of admission.

[14:38] Susan Blackwell: All right. So Sharon's message is this.

[14:41] Laura Camien: You guys, I'm bowled over with gratitude.

[14:56] Susan Blackwell: Just what I needed today. I am currently researching trees online because I've been wanting to buy a tree, but just dragging on it. And your episode said, go buy the fucking tree already. Get it. This is why the two of you are a miracle blend. Susan gave all these amazing ideas that got the juices flowing. And then Laura says, It's cool if you can't do that right this second. Totally hear you on self-compassion. While you were talking, I was thinking, gee, Laura, I wish you were more compassionate about yourself.

[15:32] Laura Camien: Me too, Sharon. Uh, she says, I want to send you a big heartbox of compassion. I mean, I could understand you're being annoyed with yourself if you were me. I've done nothing through this. Oh, oh, wait. She's that's what she's talking about. Yeah. So there you are. That was the gift of all gifts today, ladies. The poem, the laughter, the crying, the pain of your separation from each other. All of it palpable, relatable, a virtual deep hug. I went to see my 27-year-old daughter yesterday, and for her 27th birthday, we took a six feet apart walk.

[16:11] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Understand that my daughters and I are like puppies, hugging and holding hands and generally entwined. I really love that image. Just generally entwined. Seeing my baby on her birthday and not being able to hug her physically hurt. I could hear that in your voices too. Now, could you all stop complaining about the sound? A, I don't know what you're talking about. It sounded perfect. I would not have even known you were in the not in the same place had you not told us. And B, no need to point it out because CA, I have been assiduously listening to Cuomo and the Daily and up first and reading the New York Times updates.

[16:50] Laura Camien: And you know what? Enough. What I need to be listening to is you guys. Yes, good news, creativity, positivity, and also reality, like the grief part. Can you imagine what happens to a focus group business in a pandemic? Yeah, dead as a doornail. Very painful. No one's getting on a plane, and absolutely no one wants to talk about pants or theater or anything except how to keep their job. And is their kid going back to college? And how much do I need to clorox this freaking apple? So even when things get back to normal, I'm looking at a very long time before my normal resumes. Lots of grief here. And also joy holed up in my home with my lovely husband, doing cocktails at six, sleeping later, more relaxed time together.

[17:37] Susan Blackwell: But back to you guys. I also want to say I love your voices and how different they are from each other. You are an excellent team. Which of course you've known forever. Keep on keeping on. Laura, you thanked everyone who was making the world a better place. That is you guys.

[17:55] Laura Camien: Oh love Sharon. Can I just say Sharon? Sharon is a fucking joy. I laugh so much at this email, Zeus. I cried too, but I laugh because of course, of course, she's reminding us not to worry about the sound. It's progress, not perfection, just like Edward said. And it's so easy for us to like let other people off the hook compassionately, but not so easy for ourselves. I feel like we got busted a little bit. I hear you, Sharon, but I also, as somebody who just like pours over the sound with like headphones pressed to my head. I'm like, I'm like, Sharon's like our sweet mom who's just like, I think it sounds good, honey.

[18:35] Susan Blackwell: And I'm like, mom, could you hear the clicks and pops? But I'll take it. I appreciate it. And uh, and we'll take it. We will. And I think the sound has gotten better too.

[18:48] Laura Camien: But yeah, the sound is fantastic, Suze. My takeaway from all of that is uh, and I agree with Sharon, like I was taking in so much information about the pandemic that it was really, really upsetting me, actively upsetting me. And so I'm I took a little bit of a diet. I've just been more thoughtful about how and when I take in the news and what quantities. And I'm still very well informed. I'm taking good care, but uh, we've talked about this before, but I'm with Sharon. Like, I need to keep it super positive.

[19:21] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. You have to.

[19:23] Laura Camien: Oh, thanks, Sharon. Thanks, Sharon. Shall I? Shall I?

[19:27] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. This is from Austin. The subject is thank you for the NTI Zoom workshop. Um, which I'll explain in a second, I guess. Uh, price of admission, thanks to the Sparks File. I recently learned about bullet journaling, which over the past week has been instrumental in keeping my routines and goals afloat during Q times.

[19:47] Laura Camien: Yes, Austin. I'm also starting to do morning pages, cooking creatively, and doing lots of deep brainstorming and externalization of my creative impulses.

[19:56] Susan Blackwell: Austin, that is paying you to full price of admission. And here's the message. Susan and Laura, I simply want to extend a heartfelt thank thank you to both of you, not only for uh Susan's, I did a Zoom workshop with um the National Theater Institute, but also for the Sparkfile podcast.

[20:15] Laura Camien: Susan, when I was an intern at NTI, the National Theater Institute, five years ago, we spent a wonderful hour together in the car on route to the train station.

[20:25] Susan Blackwell: A memory I brag about to my theater friends.

[20:27] Laura Camien: No way.

[20:29] Susan Blackwell: Um that how sweet of you, Austin. I don't think it takes an hour to get from NTI to that train station, but uh okay, maybe we drove around a lot. Maybe it was snowstorm. I don't know.

[20:39] Laura Camien: Um, I'm a memory, oh, a memory that I brag about to my theater friends.

[20:43] Susan Blackwell: I get it. You've been bragging about our times together. Sure, we'll take that. The spark file has been a great source of joy during quarantine. I have been binging it while I do physical therapy exercises that alleviate chronic pain that I have suffered from for years.

[20:57] Laura Camien: Good for you. Doing physical therapy can be a total ass ache, but I'm proud of you for doing it, Austin. And if we can make it easier for you, I'm stoked.

[21:06] Susan Blackwell: I've been through a difficult year. I went through a breakup with a person I was living with and shortly after quit a stable, well-paying job that I really had no business doing anyway and with nothing else lined up and starting waiting tables.

[21:18] Laura Camien: Bless which I actually love.

[21:20] Susan Blackwell: Oh I love that. And once the restaurants open, if you want to come dine at a certain restaurant that I'm not going to name, I imagine you two would be a blast to serve Jonathan Groff comes in all the time.

[21:32] Laura Camien: I just would rather not out where Jonathan goes to eat just because I want the man to be able to eat in peace.

[21:37] Susan Blackwell: Good point.

[21:37] Laura Camien: Yeah. Um the past so it'll be a little secret Austin the past year has felt like such a flaming curveball and I want so badly to be an artist thanks so much for providing the tools inspiration and attitude that help me believe I can you to rock Austin Austin you absolutely can you just declared it and the work that you're doing with your cookie create creatively and your morning pages and your externalization of your creative impulse you're doing it and if you love waiting tables I love that you love it.

[22:12] Susan Blackwell: And if that buys you the flexibility that you need to have that creative life rock the fuck on yes I would posit that you already are an artist Austin.

[22:26] Laura Camien: I'll just say that and if you'll kindly put us down for a table for two as soon as all this is over we will gladly have a meal and maybe run into Jonathan as well.

[22:37] Susan Blackwell: Hey you know what also I wanted to say Austin you you said you so badly want to be an artist and something that some I heard recently, and I may have mentioned on the podcast, is you get to choose every day as you're doing your bullet journal, as you strike out into the day, how that's going to move through you, how being an artist is going to move through you.

[23:00] Laura Camien: And the great thing is you get a reset every single day to make that choice again.

[23:05] Susan Blackwell: So if you don't feel like you nail being an artist on Tuesday, there's always Wednesday, and then there's Thursday, and then there's Friday, and you get reset, reset, reset, reset. As long as you continue to draw breath into your lungs, you get to choose every day if you wanna how you want to live being an artist.

[23:21] Laura Camien: So rock the fuck on.

[23:24] Susan Blackwell: So so happy you wrote. Rock the fuck on, Austin. Suze, I've got a little note here from Brittany.

[23:31] Laura Camien: She says Hi, Susan and Laura. One of the ways that creativity has helped me through the quarantine is songwriting. I'm graduating from college this spring in the past two months. It's been a wild blend of emotions. Below is a song I wrote to sort them all out.

[23:49] Susan Blackwell: And I would love it, Cammy, and if you just broke into song right now that Cammy uncovered the song that Brittany.

[23:55] Laura Camien: You know what? I wouldn't do that to Brittany. I just wouldn't do that to her song.

[24:04] Susan Blackwell: Um, but I have to say, I listened to this song and I love your voice, Brittany. It it can I call you Brit? Britt.

[24:12] Laura Camien: Um, please record an album.

[24:16] Susan Blackwell: I would snatch that up. Her voice is gorgeous, Zeus. And the song she sent us is posted on her Instagram.

[24:24] Laura Camien: So we won't play it here, but you can look it up. Her Instagram is the Brittany Source, and it is a beautiful the song is like this heartfelt question of like whether or not it's okay to feel the loss of things that are like just maybe less tangible.

[24:46] Susan Blackwell: Like, is it selfish to feel the loss of your future plans when other people are losing their lives? You know, it's it's a really beautiful contemplation. And I think in in some of the other letters that we've gotten, you can see that's a through line that a lot of people are examining.

[25:05] Laura Camien: Like, and as Brene Brown like tells us, of course, like there's no comparing of our, you know, despair. There, it's all valid, and it's okay to feel that.

[25:19] Susan Blackwell: Um, I'll share something, like some wise words from my therapist.

[25:25] Laura Camien: We have to feel the losses, all of them.

[25:28] Susan Blackwell: Like no matter what, like without judgment, if your loss is that you're not headed to college this fall as you thought you were, that's an enormous loss.

[25:37] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[25:37] Susan Blackwell: Um, and if we try to gloss over them with like comparisons of other people have it worse, we're only like sweeping them under the rug temporarily.

[25:47] Laura Camien: The mess is still there, and you're gonna find it later when you pull back the carpet.

[25:51] Susan Blackwell: She didn't really use that analogy, but I did. Uh it's not going anywhere. So I think that empathy and context are important. Of course, it's good to have perspective, but it is really, really vital that we feel those feelings.

[26:06] Laura Camien: I love that, Cameron, and I love that we all just got some free therapy from your therapist. Because thank you for the best therapist.

[26:13] Susan Blackwell: I'm not competitive about, you know, um my feelings, but I am competitive about my therapist because she's the fucking best.

[26:20] Laura Camien: You do have therapist pride.

[26:22] Susan Blackwell: You do.

[26:22] Laura Camien: That is true. Does your therapist listen to the podcast?

[26:26] Susan Blackwell: You know what? I don't know. She asked me if it would be okay, like if she followed, and I'm like, yeah, of course.

[26:31] Laura Camien: You're like we're like subscribe, rate. Five star review it.

[26:35] Susan Blackwell: I did not, but I maybe I will next week.

[26:40] Laura Camien: Hey, listen, if you haven't already done so, um I love that.

[26:44] Susan Blackwell: Really? What's your therapist's name again?

[26:47] Laura Camien: Letitia.

[26:49] Susan Blackwell: Letitia, that's right. Thank you, Letitia.

[26:51] Laura Camien: You make our lives better.

[26:52] Susan Blackwell: Yes. You make our lives better.

[26:54] Laura Camien: You really do.

[26:55] Susan Blackwell: Um, here's a this is a email from Michael.

[26:59] Laura Camien: Michael writes in Hi, Susan and Lauren.

[27:01] Susan Blackwell: What he called he actually called you Laura.

[27:04] Laura Camien: And are you dying a little Michael?

[27:06] Susan Blackwell: No, no, no. Progress, not perfection. We don't give do you care?

[27:09] Laura Camien: I don't what people call me because Heidi Blick and Staff and I have done so much work together. I've spent the last 10 years of my life being called Heidi.

[27:17] Susan Blackwell: I don't give a shit. People are so mortified when they're like, Oh my god, oh my god, I'm so sorry. And I was like, I don't care. It don't make a damn bit of difference.

[27:26] Laura Camien: I love that name. I love that girl. It's just great. So, but here's this is from um Michael.

[27:31] Susan Blackwell: Hi, Susan and Lauren.

[27:32] Laura Camien: Sorry.

[27:33] Susan Blackwell: Well, after the creativity workshop last month, I finally started my one man autobiographical show that is part therapy session and part stand up comedy called 99 Shames.

[27:45] Laura Camien: I love that title.

[27:46] Susan Blackwell: I haven't gotten too far, but I finally started it.

[27:49] Laura Camien: That's a nice, that is a nice uh price of admission.

[27:52] Susan Blackwell: I like that. Likewise, I have a 10 minute play about gun violence in schools that I have now completed the research on.

[27:58] Laura Camien: That's great.

[27:59] Susan Blackwell: Tough topic in these times to actually write, though.

[28:01] Laura Camien: So starting is imperfect, but progress.

[28:03] Susan Blackwell: It's been on my list for two years.

[28:05] Laura Camien: Yes.

[28:06] Susan Blackwell: Yes, yes, yes. Something's been knocking at your door for two years. Get that up and out.

[28:09] Laura Camien: As a daily challenge, started three days ago. I'm writing out tweet-sized comic moments based on real life and quarantine called quarantine.

[28:20] Susan Blackwell: Silly, fun, forcibly concise.

[28:22] Laura Camien: They tend to get me going into my daily creativity.

[28:25] Susan Blackwell: Thanks for continuing to be awesome in these crazy times. Cheers, Michael.

[28:30] Laura Camien: Thanks, Michael. I love that you're doing all those like you're doing um like little tweet size, bite-sized things, and then you're doing like a 10-minute play, and then you're working on your one-minute show.

[28:42] Susan Blackwell: That's baller. Good job.

[28:43] Laura Camien: He's so prolific, and I'm always impressed by what he's doing.

[28:49] Susan Blackwell: And I'm always thankful, Michael, that you keep us posted on all of the things.

[28:55] Laura Camien: Like on Instagram, we see a lot of what you're doing. You are like a fount of creativity.

[29:00] Susan Blackwell: And I love the quarantine.

[29:03] Laura Camien: It's the most fun.

[29:03] Susan Blackwell: It's like no pressure creativity, but a big payoff.

[29:06] Laura Camien: You know, you do that daily. You're gonna look back in a month and be like, look at all look at all that.

[29:11] Susan Blackwell: 30 short films.

[29:12] Laura Camien: Yeah, that's great.

[29:13] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[29:14] Laura Camien: I also want to say, Michael, you are way off the hook for calling me Lauren. It's no big deal.

[29:20] Susan Blackwell: A lot of people do.

[29:21] Laura Camien: A lot of people call me Lauren.

[29:22] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[29:23] Laura Camien: I think it's because it's my last name.

[29:25] Susan Blackwell: Ends in E N, so they sort of pick up the whole thing.

[29:29] Laura Camien: It's like a combo of my first and last name, Laura.

[29:33] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[29:34] Laura Camien: Which wasn't quite right.

[29:35] Susan Blackwell: It would actually be like Laurean.

[29:37] Laura Camien: Lorian.

[29:38] Susan Blackwell: If I was really doing it.

[29:40] Laura Camien: I think I'm switching to that.

[29:42] Susan Blackwell: Lauren.

[29:42] Laura Camien: I'm I'm also switching it to I'm gonna call you Laurean from now on.

[29:47] Susan Blackwell: Instead of baby baby cam cams.

[29:50] Laura Camien: Yep, yep, yep.

[29:51] Susan Blackwell: And you start a makeup line too. There's a spark for you. Free sparks, free sparks.

[29:55] Laura Camien: Oh, thanks. I'm gonna share another letter. Are you ready? It's from Aaron.

[30:03] Susan Blackwell: And Erin says, Hi, ladies. Our mutual friend Allison French turned me on to your podcast a few weeks ago, and I can't get enough. And I freaking love the theme song.

[30:16] Laura Camien: So do we, Aaron?

[30:17] Susan Blackwell: That's your babe, Suze. Except for my tiny little casting contribution. Can I sidebar also while we're here and say that Alison French is the most wonderful person?

[30:29] Laura Camien: Any friend of Allison's is absolutely a friend of mine. She is a quality human being. Top notch.

[30:36] Susan Blackwell: Cam says great taste in people. You know it's true. You know, seriously, Alison, thanks for getting Aaron hooked on the podcast.

[30:43] Laura Camien: All right, back to Aaron's note. Your discussion of morning routine, Suze, on episode 73 really resonated with me.

[30:52] Susan Blackwell: Episode 73. How is that possible? And that's a few weeks back. Holy moly.

[30:59] Laura Camien: I know. All right. So Aaron says, keeping to my morning routine is part of my creative process, just to get to a mindset where I can create.

[31:15] Susan Blackwell: That's good, right? Not only does that routine put me in the right frame of mind, it also lets me check three things off my to-do list before 7 a.m.

[31:23] Laura Camien: Shablam, Aaron. Yeah. Boom. Then at the ripe old hour of 7 a.m., I write, walk, and/or do yoga, drink a pint glass of water, eat an energizing breakfast.

[31:39] Susan Blackwell: Each of which gets a check mark. The rest of any day's to-do list is broken into the simplest items so that accomplishing them seems ridiculously easy, but I celebrate the accomplishment of each one.

[31:51] Laura Camien: For example, I break grocery shopping down into one, make list, two, place order, three, pick up.

[31:59] Susan Blackwell: That's three items I get to check off.

[32:01] Laura Camien: Erin, you love checking items off. Check those boxes.

[32:04] Susan Blackwell: I also place notes to myself on sticky notes near my workspace. I write them on brightly colored post-its so I can easily swap them out for new inspiration.

[32:16] Laura Camien: I currently have the following. Protect your process. Do it even if it's hard. Everything you write is right.

[32:25] Susan Blackwell: I'm adding one that Susan's Nate contributed. I'm a professional because I work from home. Love that.

[32:34] Laura Camien: So back to what I said in the beginning. Protect your process applies to my entire morning routine. My process includes taking care of myself in every way.

[32:43] Susan Blackwell: Protect your process inspires me to make good choices so I can access my strengths and not waste any time being hungry, cranky, or tired.

[32:52] Laura Camien: I do my best every day, but some days just suck anyway. Some days I write a ton of garbage, but it's because I'm on to something, or at least in the search.

[33:08] Susan Blackwell: Yes. Thank you for putting out your beautiful, smart, entertaining podcast every week. You're putting good work into the universe, and goodness knows we could all use more of that.

[33:19] Laura Camien: I look forward to each episode, and I hope I get to meet you and see your faces someday.

[33:25] Susan Blackwell: I hope so too, Erin. For people that don't remember the Walker Percy quote, that Camille and I quote every episode. Cam's, well, you should blam them with that quote one more time.

[33:36] Laura Camien: I will. This quote has hit a nerve with us ever since I first read it on Kate Quafford's Instagram. But then when we sat down with her, we got to hear like the source of it.

[33:48] Susan Blackwell: She really gave us so that's a good episode too. If this quote resonates with you, the Walker Percy quote is what is the nature of the search? You ask. The search is what anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the everydayness of his own life.

[34:05] Laura Camien: To become aware of the search is to be onto something. Not to be onto something is to be in despair.

[34:13] Susan Blackwell: I think it really hit home because for both of us, because I know for sure you and I have both felt this, but I'm kind of guessing probably all of us have felt this before, like when we've gone through times when we were not on to anything.

[34:31] Laura Camien: Oh man, you know, Cam's a time why always reminds me that quote always reminds me of like when I knew I wanted to like leave a corporate job. And I was like, if I could just get if I could just figure out, if I could just get on to making something that I love that would replace this income.

[34:52] Susan Blackwell: And it was so painful because I knew that's what I wanted to get on to, and it took me so long to figure it out. That was a big one. That was when you're not onto it, it is despairing.

[35:04] Laura Camien: But once you get onto something, and I think that's what's so exciting, and that I think that's another reason why that quote has just like it's always on the tip of our tongues because finding a spark is being onto something, and we're always looking for sparks.

[35:19] Susan Blackwell: Like every week, every day. Yeah. We're, you know, daily we're looking for sparks, and then weekly we're choosing one to write about for the podcast.

[35:29] Laura Camien: So this like idea of finding a thread and pulling on it and being onto it, you know, is like just so prevalent for us. So yeah. I love it, Erin. Thank you.

[35:42] Susan Blackwell: Yes. That was it's so the other thing that struck me as you were reading Aaron's email is I am so thankful for people who have written in. I never write into anything. So thanks for writing into us.

[35:56] Laura Camien: It's amazing. Yeah, like we don't take that for granted at all that you took the time to like let us know how something resonated with you. It's it is it's so meaningful to us because I mean, obviously, we enjoy doing this, but you we are talking out into the ether and we're picturing, you know, the faces that we know out there as we're talking.

[36:21] Susan Blackwell: But unless there's a feedback loop, you know, we don't really know these emails to hear from you.

[36:28] Laura Camien: Yeah, these emails are fantastic. It's so good. Um, shall I?

[36:33] Susan Blackwell: Mm-hmm.

[36:34] Laura Camien: Hi, Susie B slash Laura Cam Cames with many Z. I wrote slash recorded slash edited and made the album artwork using Procreate on my iPad. It's awesome for my new single, Love Gone Viral that I just published to go live on iTunes slash Spotify, etc. today.

[36:55] Susan Blackwell: It should show up soon anywhere you can stream music. Love gone viral.

[37:00] Laura Camien: Yes. Yes.

[37:01] Susan Blackwell: I wanted to share it with you as it felt very hashtag sparkfile and was a musical loving way to channel all the feels I'm feeling on the daily and make some art with heart.

[37:11] Laura Camien: Oh my God. I adore you and wanted to let you know that I loved your episode on hashtag quarantine creativity. And I am finding great solace in hearing both of your voices via my headphones while taking long walks in nature.

[37:24] Susan Blackwell: Thanks for continuing to make and for inspiring me to do the same, even when and especially when it's hard.

[37:31] Laura Camien: Yes. All my viral loving and California sunshine, Julianne.

[37:36] Susan Blackwell: Julianne. How much beautiful Julianne.

[37:40] Laura Camien: Thanks, Julianne. And everybody check out Julianne's Love Gone Viral, Anywhere Where You Stream Music.

[37:48] Susan Blackwell: What a great email. Julianne also does like a daily dance it out. Um on the video.

[37:55] Laura Camien: That's Julianne's daily dance out. Julianne does so much. Julianne does more in one day than I do in a month.

[38:04] Susan Blackwell: And it's phenomenal. She is like a tinderbox of sparks, just popping off of her.

[38:11] Laura Camien: And uh she's always like every time we talk to Julianne, it's like she's forwarded, you know, five different projects.

[38:21] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're proud of you, Julianne. Really? Give up the good work.

[38:27] Laura Camien: Um, hey, hey, here's another one. Dear Laura and Susan, as many do, I started thinking about things I haven't done or accomplished around age 38.

[38:38] Susan Blackwell: Not so much in a negative way, but just things I have put on the back burner, so to speak. I've been making a 40 by 40 list over the past few years, which is now 20 by 40 because I couldn't think of 40 things I could reasonably or even want to accomplish in a year and a half.

[38:54] Laura Camien: Fair enough. 20 by 40. That time frame is now less than one year, and the list seems to be shrinking.

[39:01] Susan Blackwell: Anyway, one day last September, I decided I should start an Instagram to share my journey to being a better human by the age of 40. The Instagram is at no day but today. Please note there are two T's on the butt because the other was taken, and I don't take myself too seriously.

[39:23] Laura Camien: So one of the things I had decided I wanted to try was painting. I have been a children's theater director for almost 13 years, and I have been involved in theater just about my whole life.

[39:35] Susan Blackwell: As such, I have had experience painting sets for musicals, but have never had any formal art training and never tried painting a canvas.

[39:46] Laura Camien: Since I had basically no funds at the time and wasn't sure of myself, I started by painting my first pieces on cardboard with leftover latex paint from sets past.

[39:56] Susan Blackwell: Yes. I took a creative risk and shared my very first painting to my Instagram. To my surprise, I had several very positive comments and my confidence was boosted to try more.

[40:10] Laura Camien: Fast forward six months, and I have created close to 100 paintings.

[40:16] Susan Blackwell: Yes. And I have made over a thousand dollars in my first four months of selling art, and I don't plan on stopping there.

[40:24] Laura Camien: Yes. While this pandemic has put somewhat of a damper on my productivity, I have been able to create a few pieces of which I am proud. One of those paintings I titled Ghost Light, a tribute to all the theater people whose lives have been put on hold.

[40:41] Susan Blackwell: Oh, good spark. All of this is to say, I am eternally grateful for your forever permission slip to create the things that spark my imagination. I've attached a few pictures of the works I mentioned, as well as a picture of my set model to help my students learn blocking via Zoom.

[40:59] Laura Camien: Amazing. Thanks again. You ladies are the best.

[41:03] Susan Blackwell: Michael, Michael, wow. Wow.

[41:08] Laura Camien: So cool. Suze, you want to know something else about Michael that I really, really love.

[41:14] Susan Blackwell: Um Michael listened to our spark about creative limitations. And on Instagram, he popped us a note and said, send over a limitation. I'm gonna do a painting in one hour. And will you name something that must be in the painting?

[41:31] Laura Camien: Anyway, and of course I said a monkey. I mean, of course. And he delivered an hour later. Here's a painting with a monkey in it.

[41:41] Susan Blackwell: I got such a thrill out of it. It was so fantastic. Thank you so much, Michael. Good job, Michael.

[41:47] Laura Camien: And I love one of the things I love about this email is that Michael used, you know, didn't have to go and go to the craft store and make this huge investment. And you were using sort of like materials that you had at hand and just giving it a spin.

[42:06] Susan Blackwell: When you do that, that creative meditative flow state, woe state, satisfaction that you can get into just so easily doing something like painting. And whether you make money on it, get it, girl. Make that many handy.

[42:21] Laura Camien: Like whether you make money like Michael, or if you just do it for your own pleasure, I'm I just love that email. It's such a good reminder. Such a good reminder.

[42:31] Susan Blackwell: Um, good job, Michael. Good job. Here's here's one. Um, this next one is a two-parter, and we love this one because it really does demonstrate what you can do when you decide to what pivot.

[42:45] Laura Camien: So this is from um Kelsey. The subject is Midwestern seven-layer spark salad with extra mayo.

[42:53] Susan Blackwell: There you go. Um, price of admission. For the past year, I've been going through a career change. It's really the first time in a long time that theater hasn't been explicitly my job.

[43:04] Laura Camien: It was scary to shift gears. I spent a long time thinking about what type of creative person I wanted to be and how I wanted my creativity to impact the world.

[43:13] Susan Blackwell: Yes, that is seeking that spark. That is seeking being onto something. During this change, listening to episodes of the Sparks File was infinitely helpful and inspiring.

[43:24] Laura Camien: This is so nice, Kelsey. There were days where it felt like you two lovely ladies somehow knew what was going on and were counseling me through my headphones.

[43:33] Susan Blackwell: I'm happy to report that I'm now settling into a new job with a nonprofit I deeply care about. More on that in a second, and writing and crafting and music making in ways I haven't in a long time.

[43:45] Laura Camien: It feels good. I'm grateful for the part the Sparks File played in getting me here.

[43:50] Susan Blackwell: These are kind, kind words that Kelsey is sharing with us. But I just want to say, for a couple of years now, Kelsey has rocked the New Year's Creativity Challenge.

[44:02] Laura Camien: And Kelsey is one of the most endlessly creative people that I have had the pleasure of doing business with.

[44:15] Susan Blackwell: Like I so, Kelsey, thank you for those kind words, but I want to say that the Sparks Girl, all those sparks are coming from inside you.

[44:24] Laura Camien: Inside of the house. One lady's opinion. So here's the message. I just started working for an organization called Destination Imagination. It's a competition-based program for kids all around the world that guides them through the creative and collaborative processes. They work together in teams to solve a challenge, capital C challenge.

[44:45] Susan Blackwell: That might involve them making a play or building a bridge or tackling a community service project or some other boss act of creativity.

[44:54] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[44:54] Susan Blackwell: They're not allowed to get outside help.

[44:56] Susan Blackwell: They have a super strict budget and time limit, and the results are some of the most inspiring things I've ever seen.

[45:03] Susan Blackwell: Watching a DI tournament is just sparks on sparks on sparks.

[45:08] Laura Camien: Destination Imagination, that is so cool.

[45:11] Susan Blackwell: I was a DI kid from the seventh grade all the way through high school.

[45:14] Susan Blackwell: I volunteered with them a lot in the years that followed.

[45:17] Susan Blackwell: My family has too.

[45:18] Susan Blackwell: It's this crazy full circle moment now that I'm on staff.

[45:22] Susan Blackwell: I wish I had a time machine to go back and tell my 12-year-old self about the engineers, artists, and innovators they will become.

[45:35] Susan Blackwell: It gives me hope and gets me revved up to go work on my own creative project.

[45:39] Susan Blackwell: Circle of inspiration, y'all.

[45:41] Laura Camien: I love that.

[45:42] Laura Camien: I've been meaning to write to you about DI since your podcast began, but thought it would look too fishy once I started working here.

[45:49] Laura Camien: However, the events of the past few weeks have pushed me to share.

[45:53] Laura Camien: So the culmination of a DI season ends with the Global Finals Tournament in May.

[45:59] Susan Blackwell: Oh God.

[46:00] Laura Camien: Global Finals.

[46:02] Laura Camien: It's like the Olympics, but for Lil Maker children instead of athletes, teams from all around the world come together and share their solutions to the challenges.

[46:10] Laura Camien: They trade pins, they make friends.

[46:13] Laura Camien: It's beautiful.

[46:14] Susan Blackwell: This is a hell of a spark.

[46:15] Laura Camien: I love this.

[46:17] Laura Camien: At least it would have been if there wasn't a pandemic happening right now.

[46:22] Susan Blackwell: No.

[46:23] Laura Camien: When I started my new job in February, COVID-19 was still just a new news item that felt very far away.

[46:30] Laura Camien: As the virus spread, tournaments started getting canceled.

[46:34] Laura Camien: There were meetings upon meetings, phone calls with parents and volunteers across the world as we navigated how to proceed.

[46:41] Laura Camien: Everyone was wondering how global finals would be impacted.

[46:46] Laura Camien: Big questions were being pursued.

[46:49] Laura Camien: The answers for how global finals will be approached aren't settled yet, but the options on the table are innovative, accessible, and just plain cool.

[46:58] Laura Camien: I'm grateful to be on a team that can make this kind of thing possible to be continued.

[47:04] Laura Camien: Question mark.

[47:05] Susan Blackwell: But I gotta say, Cams.

[47:06] Susan Blackwell: No spoilers.

[47:08] Susan Blackwell: But if you're an organization like Destination Imagination, I have to believe that there are some boss problem solvers.

[47:18] Laura Camien: Oh my God.

[47:20] Laura Camien: Creative, creative thing.

[47:22] Laura Camien: Oh my gosh.

[47:23] Laura Camien: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[47:25] Susan Blackwell: And I'm happy to report that we got another email from Kelsey with an update.

[47:32] Laura Camien: What?

[47:33] Susan Blackwell: So this cliffhanger ends like this from Kelsey.

[47:38] Susan Blackwell: The team at DI has not only transitioned to a virtual event for this year's global finals.

[47:45] Susan Blackwell: Yes, but it's been completely revamped to accommodate everyone's needs in the time of social distancing.

[47:53] Susan Blackwell: It's called the Summer of Creativity.

[47:56] Susan Blackwell: There's an entirely new challenge for teams to solve utilizing video conferencing platforms.

[48:03] Susan Blackwell: Part of it includes making a collaborative piece of art, and I've got goosebumps thinking about the possibilities these teams will create.

[48:10] Laura Camien: Hell yes.

[48:11] Susan Blackwell: Best of all, because it's a whole new experience, it's open to everyone.

[48:18] Susan Blackwell: And I mean everyone.

[48:20] Susan Blackwell: There's even a new level for teams of friends and family members who want to participate together.

[48:27] Susan Blackwell: Kelsey says, My new coworkers are forces of nature, and watching them prep this thing has been inspiring.

[48:34] Susan Blackwell: I can't wait to see what happens as teams start to participate.

[48:43] Laura Camien: Thanks and happy creating.

[48:45] Susan Blackwell: Suze, I love this so much.

[48:51] Laura Camien: Yes.

[48:51] Laura Camien: There are some students in my life who might want to do this.

[48:56] Laura Camien: You can find the info on globalfinals.org.

[49:02] Laura Camien: The deadline to register is June 1.

[49:05] Laura Camien: They've already given out the challenge, but if you register before June 1, you will get the challenge and you can jump right in.

[49:13] Laura Camien: There is still time to get in on this.

[49:15] Susan Blackwell: Cams, is there an age limit?

[49:18] Susan Blackwell: Or is it really open to anyone?

[49:20] Laura Camien: Oh, I don't know.

[49:22] Laura Camien: I think it's like sound like it was open to everybody.

[49:27] Laura Camien: But means maybe she just means kids.

[49:30] Laura Camien: But friends and family of those kids too.

[49:32] Laura Camien: So maybe a child needs to be on the team, but then friends and family can join.

[49:38] Susan Blackwell: Globalfinals.org.

[49:39] Susan Blackwell: We'll go there and we'll find out.

[49:41] Susan Blackwell: You know what?

[49:42] Susan Blackwell: What a circle of inspiration.

[49:44] Susan Blackwell: They're like living the like when you live your mission, that is always what amazes me.

[49:50] Susan Blackwell: Companies can set forth what their mission and what their purpose is.

[49:53] Susan Blackwell: But then when the times get tough and they get challenged, you always go back to like what that mission is, and are we gonna live it?

[50:02] Susan Blackwell: Or is it gonna shut us down?

[50:04] Susan Blackwell: And Destination Imagination is living it.

[50:22] Laura Camien: What is really psyched about this?

[50:25] Laura Camien: That is what was wait, I have to go back up.

[50:27] Laura Camien: What was Kelsey's original subject line?

[50:30] Susan Blackwell: Midwestern seven layer spark salad with extra mayo.

[50:33] Laura Camien: Yes, Kelsey.

[50:37] Susan Blackwell: I love it and I love you, and we love your creativity.

[50:40] Laura Camien: We love it.

[50:41] Susan Blackwell: Happy creating.

[50:45] Laura Camien: The subject is USPS and activism.

[50:48] Susan Blackwell: Yes, David, the price of admission.

[50:51] David: Right when the whole lockdown went down, I wrote an art song setting an excerpt of T.S. Elliott's The Wasteland.

[50:58] Susan Blackwell: Well, smell you, Nancy.

[51:01] David: Aren't you so fancy?

[51:02] David: A month or so ago, I sent the song to a soprano friend of mine in New York City and a collaborative pianist friend in California.

[51:09] David: And last week I got on a Zoom call with them to talk about it and the interpretation and inspiration.

[51:16] David: And this week they are recording.

[51:18] Laura Camien: Yes.

[51:19] David: Yes.

[51:20] David: I'm not involved with the recording process except eventually listening to their takes and giving them feedback, slash picking the final cut.

[51:27] David: So it doesn't quite seem real yet, but it's crazy exciting and also terrifying that these musicians that I respect so much are recording my song.

[51:35] David: And I'm going to put it out there on YouTube for people to see and hear.

[51:39] Susan Blackwell: Yes, David.

[51:40] Susan Blackwell: That is a beautiful price of admission.

[51:43] Susan Blackwell: That is so good.

[51:43] Susan Blackwell: That's how you do it.

[51:45] David: And here's the message.

[51:46] David: I have a spark and a reaction to an episode of the podcast I listened to today.

[51:51] Susan Blackwell: We'll take it.

[51:51] David: Number one is the reaction.

[51:53] David: I listened to the USPS and Kittens episode, and it made me think about so many things.

[51:58] David: First and foremost, I have decided the next art song I write, a setting of a Walt Whitman poem.

[52:04] Susan Blackwell: God, you are so fancy, David.

[52:06] David: A setting of a Walt Whitman poem that I am writing for my wife for Christmas.

[52:11] Laura Camien: Yes.

[52:12] David: It's a good spark.

[52:13] David: Will be done entirely by hand until I start giving drafts to my mentors, slash my wife, slash the pianist.

[52:20] David: I normally start writing by hand and then go into Muse Score for basically the last 50 to 60% of the process.

[52:27] David: So this will be different.

[52:28] David: I literally drove to the storage unit to pull out my jazz improv notebook to get the blank sheets of staff paper out to use for this.

[52:37] David: Well, I also needed a couple of books from there.

[52:39] Laura Camien: Got it.

[52:39] David: So you were going there anyway.

[52:40] David: But still, we appreciate the effort.

[52:42] David: I can also attest as someone who grew up with email, albeit in kind of the earlier stages of email universality.

[52:50] David: There is something special about getting a handwritten letter, and I do recognize certain people's handwriting.

[52:56] Laura Camien: Yes, your wife is gonna love the song.

[52:59] Laura Camien: And then having like the handwritten notes to the song.

[53:04] Laura Camien: I think I talked on the podcast about how last Christmas I really committed to a pretty much handmade, homemade creative Christmas.

[53:14] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[53:14] Laura Camien: So Cams got a handmade gift, and Nathan got a handmade gift, and my sister got a handmade gift.

[53:20] Laura Camien: And I have to say there is something.

[53:24] Susan Blackwell: I mean, I guess it can't.

[53:26] Laura Camien: I was worried with Cams.

[53:28] Laura Camien: Some of it I was worried, I was like, here's a thumbprint ashtray I made for you.

[53:32] Laura Camien: But I think it turned out okay.

[53:34] Susan Blackwell: I think it turned out okay.

[53:35] Laura Camien: That handprint turkey that I got you.

[53:42] Susan Blackwell: But I think your wife's gonna love that.

[53:44] Laura Camien: What a beautiful gift.

[53:45] David: Oh, number two.

[53:47] David: Here's the spark.

[53:48] David: I'm gonna be up front.

[53:50] David: This is a little political, and I know you try to stay out of that.

[53:53] Susan Blackwell: You know, I don't uh bring it on, bring it on.

[53:56] Laura Camien: We're not afraid of your politics, but hear me out.

[53:59] David: I listened to the radio show slash podcast, This American Life, and last week they won the first Pulitzer Prize for audio journalism.

[54:07] David: The episode that got them that award hit me hard and is sparking me.

[54:12] David: It's called The Out Crowd.

[54:15] David: And it first aired last November.

[54:17] David: It's about the refugee camps just south of the border in Mexico, what those people have to face, and what U.S. asylum officers are experiencing as they have to implement new policies that reject basically all applications for asylum and force asylum seekers into horribly dangerous situations.

[54:35] David: Flashback time, when Trump was just letting the paint dry on his version of the Oval Office, he implemented a travel ban that many felt was racially slash religiously charged in targeting Middle Easterners slash Muslims.

[54:48] David: This sparked me to write a short choral setting of the last, oh the last five lines of Emma Lazarus's The New Colossus.

[54:58] Susan Blackwell: And you're tired, you're poor.

[55:00] David: This podcast, The Out Crowd, is sparking my activist side once again.

[55:06] David: And I am going to adapt my SATB, that Soprano Alto tenor base piece to TTBB, that's tenor tenor base base, I'm assuming, learning how to multi-track and record this piece myself and put it out there to try and promote the story told in The Out Crowd.

[55:22] Laura Camien: Wow.

[55:23] Susan Blackwell: So my spark is find something that sucks in the world and makes you just a little bit angry that it sucks so much and then do something about it.

[55:34] Laura Camien: Yes.

[55:35] Susan Blackwell: Oh my God.

[55:36] Laura Camien: That's me saying yes.

[55:37] Susan Blackwell: PS Susan, a month or so in, not having Facebook on my phone has been a huge help in being creative daily.

[55:47] David: I feel so much more free and capable of finding the time to do what I want.

[55:51] Susan Blackwell: I feel the same way, David.

[55:52] Susan Blackwell: And let's just jump back to that spark and what you're making of it.

[55:56] Laura Camien: Yes.

[55:57] Susan Blackwell: My God.

[55:59] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[56:00] Susan Blackwell: I think I speak for Cams when I say yes.

[56:05] Laura Camien: Holy crap.

[56:07] Laura Camien: Yes.

[56:08] Susan Blackwell: Suze, I want to just touch on that last part.

[56:10] Susan Blackwell: You've been a real advocate of people like getting off your social media because I think because it's that like the need to create can you know really um dissipate when we have a distraction like social media there.

[56:30] Laura Camien: So removing that can be such a gift to yourself, like in the amount of time and focus you have for your creativity.

[56:39] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[56:40] Laura Camien: And our friend here, David is really making the most of that time.

[56:47] Susan Blackwell: My guy.

[56:48] Laura Camien: You know, I just want observation as I've been running this experiment with myself about removing social media from my phone.

[56:54] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[56:55] Laura Camien: I notice how, in addition to saving the time that I usually would just sort of like park myself and start to do just like take a bath in social media.

[57:06] Laura Camien: I also now notice the impulse.

[57:11] Laura Camien: So I'll go to and I'll be like, oh, it's not on there.

[57:16] Laura Camien: I'll go to reach for it.

[57:17] Laura Camien: But just noticing the impulse when it comes up, how frequently it comes up has been a little bit of a learning experience, which has been great.

[57:27] Susan Blackwell: It always makes me think of that Louis C.K. video or story.

[57:30] Laura Camien: He might have told this story on late night.

[57:34] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, he didn't.

[57:35] Laura Camien: Do you know the one?

[57:36] Susan Blackwell: Um I know, you know, he comes with a bag of troubles, but this story still resonates that um, you know, that we're so conditioned now.

[57:49] Laura Camien: Any genuine feeling of substance and meaning, and we want to like uh distract ourselves from that.

[57:58] Susan Blackwell: Like what would happen if we let ourselves go all the way there and just sit and sit with it.

[57:58] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[57:58] Susan Blackwell: Sit with it.

[58:07] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[58:07] Susan Blackwell: I love it.

[58:08] Laura Camien: I love it.

[58:09] Susan Blackwell: Oh, David, you're doing good, good work.

[58:11] Susan Blackwell: Please keep a channel.

[58:12] Susan Blackwell: Send us some of those tracks, David.

[58:14] Laura Camien: Send us tracks.

[58:19] Susan Blackwell: I love that.

[58:20] Laura Camien: I love that.

[58:21] Susan Blackwell: All right.

[58:22] Susan Blackwell: I think this might be our last letter for today, Suze.

[58:26] Laura Camien: This one's a good is from Ashley.

[58:30] Susan Blackwell: Hi, Ashley.

[58:32] Laura Camien: And Ashley says, Dear Laura and Susan, deep breath.

[58:37] Ashley: I've been doing that a lot lately.

[58:39] Ashley: I've been listening to The Spark File from the beginning.

[58:42] Ashley: It started because I have a little connection to the theme song.

[58:45] Laura Camien: Ashley is Lila's mom, and Lila is the um glorious voice you hear singing our theme song.

[58:53] Susan Blackwell: The opening theme.

[58:54] Ashley: Yes.

[58:55] Ashley: So I started because I have a little connection to the theme song.

[58:58] Ashley: Then I continued because I'm a creative person and I thoroughly love your show.

[59:03] Susan Blackwell: Oh I love it.

[59:05] Laura Camien: Thanks, Ashley.

[59:06] Susan Blackwell: We love your family.

[59:16] Ashley: Those days are over.

[59:17] Ashley: After lockdown, I couldn't bring myself to listen to pre-pandemic podcasts.

[59:22] Ashley: I couldn't read for pleasure or concentrate on anything not related to my immediate reality.

[59:29] Laura Camien: That makes sense.

[59:30] Ashley: To maintain my sanity, I've been taking frequent walks around the neighborhood.

[59:34] Ashley: So when I saw you created a post-quarantine episode, I jumped on it.

[59:39] Ashley: Next thing I knew, I was power walking with my earbuds, crying, looking like a crazy person, but I guess that's not uncommon these days.

[59:49] Ashley: I was really struck by the double whammy emotions you mentioned grief and guilt. First, the grief. My daughter is a senior in high school who is thrilled to begin a new adventure studying acting in New York City in the fall. Just pause and think on that for a second. The voice you hear in the opening theme song of this very podcast is a high school senior. That's right. If I live to be 99, I will never be able to do what that high school senior is doing. On the theme song of this podcast. Yeah. Incredible. So, uh, so Lila is a senior in high school who's thrilled to begin a new adventure studying acting in New York City in the fall. I am grieving for her missing her prom graduation, theater banquet, saying goodbye to teachers.

The list goes on and on. And then I realized I have my own grief in that regard. As a mother, I am missing those milestones to help me prepare for the end of a huge part of my life. The tapering off, the weaning, I carry her grief and mine, the curse of motherhood. I have a 15-year-old son who is bumping along, sleeping in and spending endless hours on the Xbox. His grief is that he can't play basketball with friends, and he has no idea what the fall will bring for sports or for school. Fear is a big part of my grief. What will the fall bring for both of my kids? Will there be high school basketball? Will my daughter be able to start college as planned? Will she be safe? When can she get back to performing?

And then there's my own grief. At 49 years old, after years of raising kids, feeling lost without a purpose of my own. I think this qualifies as my creative risk. Yes, it does, actually. I have a background in dance, visual art, and teaching, but after raising an actor daughter, I became intrigued with that world, and I made a career jump. It has been scary, but in a year and a half and eight projects later, I was thrilled to have a purpose and something I love doing. She's on to something. Yeah. Of course, now no one is filming, and very few filmmakers have the confidence to plan production start dates. My new purpose came to a screeching halt. So I'm bored and unfulfilled and feel like I'm walking in a fog.

I've learned a lot about myself during this strange time. One thing is that I'm a look forward person. I love to plan. I love keeping a calendar. I look forward so much more than looking back. It's been very difficult to have such an uncertain future. And that's when the guilt sets in. We are healthy. We are financially secure. My husband is able to work at home. I have first world problems. We will bounce back. And I get so angry with myself for whining, complaining, and feeling this way. But I'm trying to be kind to myself about it. You talk about the sixth stage of grief, finding meaning. I'm trying to do that and look forward to what we all come up with on the other side of this. Thank you for reminding me. I've got to just feel what I'm feeling. And whatever we are all feeling is okay. And thank you for the spark file, Ashley. P.S. I'm pretty sure my son has no idea how to read cursive. Frightening.

[1:03:55] Susan Blackwell: Oh, Ashley, I couldn't get through it without crying. Ashley, uh, we are so with you. And what you said at the end, I think it it's also like what we said to Brittany, like feel those feelings.

[1:04:13] Laura Camien: Yeah. Right?

[1:04:14] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. I always go back to the idea that emotions are meant to be in motion. That's how I think of it. So emotions are intended to move through you.

[1:04:26] Laura Camien: And as long as you make that up.

[1:04:28] Susan Blackwell: I did.

[1:04:29] Laura Camien: I think I did.

[1:04:31] Susan Blackwell: I know. That's amazing. But not the concept, but just that emotions are supposed to be in motion.

[1:04:37] Laura Camien: But that's the name of our new Rocksteady dance crew. Emotions in motion.

[1:04:41] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Come on. Emotions. I'm going to pop and lock all over that.

[1:04:46] Laura Camien: Yes. But yes, but I did not invent the concept. Um, many, many, many, many people have spent a long time studying this. But, you know, emotions are meant to move through us, and as long as they keep moving, we're good. We just have to let them flow. But it's when we suppress them or block them or try not to feel them that they get stuck there, you know.

[1:05:11] Susan Blackwell: Some people actually go so far to say that suppressing our emotions can manifest into illness. Other people say what we resist persists. You know, there's a lot of there's a lot of ideas around what happens when we don't let ourselves uh just simply feel the emotion and let it pass. Um as far as I know, there's no harm in just letting it like a cloud, just letting it float right on by pass on through to the next.

[1:05:47] Laura Camien: This letter actually made me think about something. I hesitate to bring it up only because I don't have a solution for it. But you know what? I'm gonna bounce it to Susan, maybe she will. Um as a parent.

[1:05:56] Susan Blackwell: Not a parent.

[1:05:58] Laura Camien: As a parent of two chihuahuas. But no, I heard something recently um that relates to the very particular pain of parenting right now, I think. One of the teachers that we work with was talking to a group of parents recently, and one of them said, I was really struggling when all this started. Like I was trying to juggle work and my marriage and my kids' schooling and the household needs, and all of it was overwhelming. But eventually I realized I had to let go of one thing my independence, me, you know, my personal goals. And once I let go of this idea, my autonomy, everything was easier. And I felt so sad when I heard that. Like I understand it. And I can see why, like it's almost like giving just giving into like what is the reality of now?

And I'm not gonna fight it. And I can see why that could be a relief, but then it also angers me that, you know, I just think generations and generations of women who've had to set their autonomy aside, you know, to deal with the larger uh everyone else's needs, basically.

[1:07:20] Susan Blackwell: I refer back to this reminds me of your Sparks cams, which I think is one of the greatest pieces of service that this uh podcast has yielded, which is that idea that if you are keeping you and your loved ones safe, if you're following the CDC guidelines, you're doing enough. You're doing enough. And Ashley, it sounds like you and your family are keeping safe, and you are remaining healthy, and you're doing enough. You're doing enough.

[1:07:56] Laura Camien: The other thing I want to say is I feel like during this time, but during all times, we always champion the idea of expanding the definition of creativity. It's applied imagination that fights for the powers of good. And so that could be uh using your imagination to about what you're good, like a special meal you're gonna make for your family to bring a little bit of um pleasure and joy to the day. What a game night might look like or Yeah, what a game night might look like. So I just want to say to you, Ashley, that as this cloud of pain moves through you, it'll come, it'll go as the weather changes. Um also know that you are doing enough. And I bet that you're also exhibiting some beautiful creativity. You're just not counting it. I have a suspicion. I just have a suspicion.

[1:08:57] Susan Blackwell: And I also wanna share um a piece of writing that we talk a lot about in our let me try that again workshop. It is Three Roots to Healing by Igioma Umabinal. Ugh. Number one, you must let the pain visit. Number two, you must allow it to teach you. Number three, you must not allow it to overstay. Meaning it's what Cam's was saying, it's emotions and motion. You don't want to sort of get, you don't want to get stuck, you don't want to get addicted to that, like, or you don't want to like just get so pulled down. Sometimes you have to fight the current a little bit and keep swimming towards the shore. But I'm sure I've talked about this on the podcast as well, but sometimes I forget that idea of not always so.

This will not always be so. This is moving and changing. It may not feel like it, but this will not always be so, this reality. So films will come back. You will you will if you choose to, you will continue to do that cool career that you've chosen for yourself in casting. This will not always be so. And in the meantime, we're gonna use our creativity as gently as possible to apply our imagination and fight for the powers of good.

[1:10:14] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:10:15] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Yes.

[1:10:17] Laura Camien: So I think that's it.

[1:10:19] Susan Blackwell: I think that's it. Suze. I feel like another mailbag emptied.

[1:10:24] Laura Camien: Another hopper. Grateful right now for our full hoppers and for all these letters and comments from people. Like it really, I don't know. It means so much. Words fail me right now. But it means so damn inspiring. It inspires us specifically about like how to um like ideas that we would like to implement, but it's also it inspires us to keep making this podcast that anybody gives a shit. It really does.

[1:11:01] Susan Blackwell: Yes, that people do. And the, you know, there is a collective of us that we're all like we're all in this together. We're all feeling, we all have these emotions at any given time, maybe not at the exact same time as then as the next person over, but we all understand the struggles of trying to express ourselves creatively in whatever form that takes and to feel like fully realized and articulated as a human.

[1:11:33] Laura Camien: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[1:11:34] Susan Blackwell: We hope this puts another bunch of sparks in your file.

[1:11:41] Laura Camien: Yeah. Help's that for an elegant seg. Listen. If there's a spark you'd like us to explore, or if you've taken a spark and fanned it into a creative flame and you'd like to share that, or if you seek some of our advice, God bless you. Won't you email us at the sparkfile at gmail.com or you can submit it through our website. You know we love it when you do a that, thesparkfile.com. We'll even take your feedback. But you know the price of admission. First, you have to share a creative risk that you have taken recently.

[1:12:12] Susan Blackwell: You can follow us on social media at the SparkFile and be sure to subscribe to this podcast wherever you get your podcast. Subscribe, rate, five-star review it. If you like this podcast, share it with people that you love. If you don't like it, in the words of Sunday in the park with George, move on.

[1:12:25] Laura Camien: Keep moving on.

[1:12:35] Susan Blackwell: Seriously, move on. Move. Do you want me to sing more?

[1:12:39] Laura Camien: No.

[1:12:40] Susan Blackwell: I mean, yes, always. Um, but also. There's one of the greatest, one of the greatest lines in musical theater comes immediately after that, which is anything you do, let it come from you. Then it will be new.

[1:12:59] Laura Camien: Move on.

[1:12:59] Susan Blackwell: I love that lyric. I love it live on the I owe Stephen Sondheim 50 cents.

[1:13:06] Laura Camien: Yes, yes, yes. I'm saying yes to all of that. I love that, Zeus. Uh knocked me right off my tracks. If something tickles your fancy and gets your creative juices flowing, we are writing you a forever permission slip to make that thing that's been knocking at your door. It is your turn to take a spark and fan it into a flame.

[1:13:30] Laura Camien: You got it.

[1:13:31] Susan Blackwell: Just kidding, I don't have a rhyme for you this week. Just somebody, please make me an afkin based on the needlepoint that astrophysicist Cecilia Payne did of that supernova. Great. Thank you.

[1:13:43] Laura Camien: Thank you.

[1:13:44] Susan Blackwell: Somebody, please. And I'm talking of full size afkin, too. Oh great, thanks.

[1:13:49] Laura Camien: Oh my gosh. Very specific.

[1:13:51] Susan Blackwell: So please take it and make it. And make it. Make one for Cammy and Chew. She didn't ask. I'm asking on her behalf. Thank you.

[1:14:05] Laura Camien: When I bump into something that inspires me, I dump it in the spark fire. Spark fire. Could be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be. I'll pump it in the spark fire. Spark. I jump into my spark five. Let's open up the spark fire.