This transcript was automatically generated and might contain errors.

[0:10] Laura Camien: When I bump into something that inspires me, I jump in in my spark file.

[0:18] Susan Blackwell: Spark file to be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be.

[0:23] Laura Camien: I pump it in my spark spa.

[0:28] Susan Blackwell: I jump into my spark shaw.

[0:32] Laura Camien: Let's open up the spark file.

[0:37] Susan Blackwell: Welcome to the spark file, where we believe that everyone is creative, but smart creative people don't go it alone.

[0:43] Laura Camien: I'm Laura Camien.

[0:45] Susan Blackwell: And I'm Susan Blackwell.

[0:46] Laura Camien: If you're an OG listener, welcome back, little sparkly.

[0:49] Susan Blackwell: If you're joining us for the first time, know that all are welcome here.

[0:52] Laura Camien: Whether you have put your creativity on pause during this time or you've clung to it like a lifeline.

[0:58] Susan Blackwell: Either way, welcome.

[1:00] Laura Camien: But you may be asking yourself, wait a second, what exactly is a spark file?

[1:05] Susan Blackwell: Where do I get one?

[1:06] Laura Camien: What do I file in it?

[1:07] Susan Blackwell: These are such good questions, and we actually do have an answer for you.

[1:10] Laura Camien: A spark file is a place where you consistently collect all your inspirations and fascinations.

[1:16] Susan Blackwell: And here's the deal: we are makers who make all kinds of things.

[1:20] Laura Camien: If you're anything like us and you're making stuff all the time or want to be making stuff all the time, you know the wellspring of inspiration can run a little dry, especially now.

[1:31] Susan Blackwell: But don't despair.

[1:32] Laura Camien: We're here for you, and we're on the lookout for fresh ideas, images, and inspiration that spark creativity and pique curiosity, things that inspire us to get up off of our asses and make things like this podcast.

[1:47] Susan Blackwell: Or a conscious approach to identifying our thoughts and balancing our brains, baby.

[1:54] Laura Camien: Woo!

[1:54] Susan Blackwell: I like every episode.

[1:56] Laura Camien: We're gonna reach into the spark file and exchange some sparks.

[1:59] Susan Blackwell: And from time to time, we're gonna talk to some folks who spark us too.

[2:02] Laura Camien: And if you're not careful, you might just access a deep piece that is available to all of us.

[2:09] Susan Blackwell: So without further ado, let's open up the spark file.

[2:17] Laura Camien: Kanza Blackwell.

[2:21] Susan Blackwell: How are you doing?

[2:22] Laura Camien: I'm so well.

[2:24] Susan Blackwell: I feel happy.

[2:25] Laura Camien: I feel excited.

[2:27] Susan Blackwell: It's Sparks Day, which as you know is one of my favorite days.

[2:32] Laura Camien: Sometimes it's not easy to get here because it takes some work to pull the old sparks together.

[2:38] Susan Blackwell: The day before Sparks Day can be a little, you know, of a mad dash, but then spark day.

[2:44] Laura Camien: The moments before spark time can be a little bit of a mad dash.

[2:49] Susan Blackwell: But look, we're here and I'm just super super excited to be here.

[2:54] Laura Camien: I think it's worth mentioning that we are continuing our experiment of I'm going to spark you this episode.

[3:02] Susan Blackwell: And next episode, you're gonna spark me back.

[3:05] Laura Camien: I like it.

[3:05] Susan Blackwell: I like it too, also because once again, I have crafted a monster spark.

[3:13] Laura Camien: It is it is large and in charge, and it could be even bigger at a certain point.

[3:19] Susan Blackwell: We had to it we had to call pencils down.

[3:21] Laura Camien: That's the thing though, about about I guess like sometimes we call something a mini spark because you know we've given it this amount of thought, and we want to share it with someone, and someone else might take it and you know, really expand upon it.

[3:37] Susan Blackwell: But when we choose a spark and then we double-click and expand, if we're really sparked by something, it can go deep.

[3:45] Laura Camien: This was one of those times, Laura, where I at first I was like, oh, I gotta do my spark homework.

[3:52] Susan Blackwell: It can spend and I also knew it was gonna be big.

[3:55] Laura Camien: And it is true.

[3:57] Susan Blackwell: It went deep and it just kept expanding wide.

[4:02] Laura Camien: And the implications of it kept rolling out.

[4:05] Susan Blackwell: And I was like, oh, around 10:30 last night, I was like, oh no, this could wrap it up.

[4:12] Laura Camien: I've got to figure out a like just a pausing point.

[4:16] Susan Blackwell: And I will say, yeah, I feel like I am on a little bit of a path of curiosity.

[4:22] Laura Camien: Susan, you have heard me talk about this ad nauseum podcast listeners.

[4:27] Susan Blackwell: You have turned her you've turned me.

[4:29] Laura Camien: You have heard me talk about this and turned me talk about this.

[4:32] Susan Blackwell: And heard you a bit about how I'm just really fascinated right now with what all characterize thought work.

[4:41] Laura Camien: What are our thoughts and how they impact us and how they create our lives?

[4:47] Susan Blackwell: And I think that it's not a panacea, it's not the solution to everything, but right now I'm sort of seeing the implications in all different manifestations of how our thoughts are impacting our lives.

[5:03] Laura Camien: And this is another exploration into that.

[5:06] Susan Blackwell: But I'm here to tell you, I don't think it's gonna be the last because I think it's so it's such a again, deep, expansive spark made up of many, many smaller atomic sparks that I just I'm really on a roll.

[5:22] Laura Camien: I'm on a tear.

[5:23] Susan Blackwell: Well, it really encompasses, it's interesting because you know, we've talked about this a number of times, and I know what you mean when you say thought work and it encompasses a lot.

[5:35] Laura Camien: And then I think I've told a few of our clients this already.

[5:38] Susan Blackwell: Like, for example, I'm working on a spark about imposter syndrome.

[5:43] Laura Camien: And that's just a little teaser, but there's thought work involved.

[5:48] Susan Blackwell: And so, like any number of things a person might be working on right now, they may be working on thought work without giving consideration of like, you know what I'm doing?

[5:58] Laura Camien: Yeah, it's thought work.

[5:59] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[6:00] And just to make it all relevant for you all, it really does directly impact our creativity.

[6:07] Laura Camien: 100%.

[6:08] Susan Blackwell: And by the end of this spark episode, I will be by the end of this spark episode, I will be sharing how I feel it's immediately like in this moment in this day, in this spark that I wrote, it is impacting my creativity.

[6:25] Laura Camien: So I'm super excited.

[6:28] Susan Blackwell: It feels uh, I just feel this spark and spending time with it has made me feel hopeful and peaceful and really, really excited about just like loving you, Laura, loving our listeners and our clients and loving this life that I feel I feel part of me, the there's this part of my brain that's just like, oh, settle down, Susan.

[6:56] Laura Camien: And then there's this part of me that's like truly I feel expansive and just really happy, and I feel a great sense of possibility right now.

[7:08] Susan Blackwell: So I'm doing cheerleading moves.

[7:10] Laura Camien: No one can see them except you.

[7:12] Susan Blackwell: I can see them.

[7:12] Laura Camien: They're not very good cheerleading moves, but you know, wait, let me let me get real focus.

[7:16] Susan Blackwell: They're real.

[7:18] Laura Camien: I think they're pretty good.

[7:19] Susan Blackwell: They also look like you're working out on an invisible elliptical machine.

[7:23] Laura Camien: Picture it, listeners.

[7:24] Susan Blackwell: Picture it.

[7:25] Laura Camien: Picture it.

[7:28] Susan Blackwell: I'm just yeah, I'm excited.

[7:30] Laura Camien: I'm excited about this and everything you just said about our lives and crafting our lives in the way that we want.

[7:37] Susan Blackwell: And using some thought work to help create it.

[7:40] Laura Camien: Oh, so tell us about it.

[7:42] Susan Blackwell: Should we dive in?

[7:43] Laura Camien: Because this is gonna, I think we're gonna be here for a minute.

[7:45] Susan Blackwell: Let's do it.

[7:47] Laura Camien: Um, so the this is also one of those sparks where the jumping off point for my spark, where I thought I was going and what I thought this spark container would hold.

[7:59] Susan Blackwell: I went so off the path that uh I don't even know if we'll get back to it.

[8:05] Laura Camien: But the jumping off point for my spark today.

[8:09] Susan Blackwell: I just want to say sometimes, like the image for me, this is not safe.

[8:12] Laura Camien: Do not try this at home for real.

[8:14] Susan Blackwell: But the image is like diving into like a body of water that's like a pond or something, and you can't see what's underneath.

[8:21] Laura Camien: Yeah, but you dive in enthusiastically, and then you're like, oh, this is what's under here.

[8:26] Susan Blackwell: Oh wow, look at that.

[8:28] Laura Camien: I had no idea.

[8:29] Susan Blackwell: I think I'll like swim over here and and then head back over there.

[8:32] Laura Camien: Like you just really don't know.

[8:34] Susan Blackwell: So I just love this image.

[8:36] Laura Camien: You just dove in.

[8:37] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[8:37] Laura Camien: I thought I was in a swimming pool, and it turns out I was in the ocean.

[8:41] Susan Blackwell: That's what it feels like.

[8:43] Laura Camien: Wow.

[8:43] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[8:44] Laura Camien: Okay.

[8:44] Susan Blackwell: The walls dissolved, and I was like, oh, we're not in an above-ground pool.

[8:50] Laura Camien: What are these dolphins doing here?

[8:52] Susan Blackwell: Exactly.

[8:53] Laura Camien: That's exactly right.

[8:54] Susan Blackwell: So the jumping off point for my spark today was please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

[9:04] Laura Camien: Which we're gonna explore in just a moment.

[9:06] Susan Blackwell: So resources for the Sparks came from a TED Talk, from an episode of Oprah Winfrey's television show, and an episode of Oprah Winfrey's XM radio show, a podcast called The Good Life Project, Wikipedia, and a bunch of other resources that I'm gonna reference along the way.

[9:22] Laura Camien: And but back to this initial jumping off point.

[9:25] Susan Blackwell: Cams, as you know, in our creativity group, we have community guidelines that everyone abides by beautifully.

[9:32] Laura Camien: And it's one of the reasons the group is so lovely.

[9:35] Susan Blackwell: Everyone is really emotionally evolved, and they're fun and they're creative, and they just they they just very intuitively abide by these community guidelines.

[9:46] Laura Camien: Yes.

[9:46] Susan Blackwell: And we recently added a guideline, which was it's sort of the mother of all the guidelines, which is please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space, which of course is inspired by the work of Jill Bolte Taylor and by the words of Jill Bolte Taylor.

[10:05] Laura Camien: Now, can I confess something?

[10:06] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[10:07] Laura Camien: I want to say, and my apologies to Jill Bolte Taylor.

[10:11] Susan Blackwell: I have had a sign that says exactly this please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the space in my office, both my office out of my home and my office in my home for five plus years.

[10:26] Laura Camien: I'm not exactly sure when I put it up, but five plus years.

[10:29] Susan Blackwell: It doesn't have a craft.

[10:31] Laura Camien: An attribution.

[10:32] Susan Blackwell: But here's the thing.

[10:33] Laura Camien: I'm not sure.

[10:35] Susan Blackwell: And my the amount of research that I've done up to this point hasn't revealed that that thought is original to her, or that that string of pearls of words is original to her.

[10:46] Laura Camien: It may have been, you know, I don't know.

[10:52] Susan Blackwell: But it may ring a bell for you that Oprah Winfrey in the fine, I think it was the final episode of her show where she did that sort of look back about really significant, memorable moments.

[11:06] Laura Camien: She referenced that as one of the biggest aha moments she'd ever had when she had that conversation on her show with Jill Bolte Taylor.

[11:13] Susan Blackwell: So that might ring a bell for you.

[11:16] Laura Camien: Yeah, you know, I love Oprah.

[11:17] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[11:18] Laura Camien: People may also remember Dr.

[11:20] Susan Blackwell: Jill Bolte Taylor from a TED talk that she gave in 2008.

[11:24] Laura Camien: And if none of that is ringing a bell for you, let me just take a moment and fill you in.

[11:29] Susan Blackwell: So Dr.

[11:30] Jill Bolte Taylor is a neuroanatomist, an author, and a speaker.

[11:34] Laura Camien: And I first became aware of her from her TED Talk, in which she beautifully tells a story from her life.

[11:41] Susan Blackwell: And I'm going to share a bit of that story with you now.

[11:44] Laura Camien: But as soon as you can, I highly recommend that you watch that TED Talk.

[11:49] Susan Blackwell: It's 18 minutes.

[11:50] Laura Camien: The story is unforking believable.

[11:53] Susan Blackwell: And she's just a great storyteller.

[11:57] Laura Camien: She's clearly brilliant intellectually.

[12:00] Susan Blackwell: As a storyteller, she is so connected to her story.

[12:04] Laura Camien: She's so grounded.

[12:05] Susan Blackwell: She's so funny.

[12:06] Laura Camien: It's so deep.

[12:07] Susan Blackwell: And it really does have everything that I want in a story told by a great storyteller.

[12:15] Laura Camien: So, even though she's a neuroanatomist and a great thinker, it is a beautiful example of great storytelling.

[12:25] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[12:26] Laura Camien: So when you get a chance, check that out.

[12:28] Susan Blackwell: Right.

[12:28] Laura Camien: But for now, let me give you and the listeners an overview of what she shares.

[12:33] Susan Blackwell: But please do go back and uh watch it because it really is a master class in storytelling.

[12:39] Laura Camien: So there were a few factors that influenced why Jill Bolte Taylor grew up to study the brain.

[12:47] Susan Blackwell: As a kid, she was fascinated by anatomy.

[12:49] Laura Camien: She had this aunt who would have been a doctor had it been an acceptable course of study for a woman at that time.

[12:57] Susan Blackwell: But Jill, with her aunt, they would dissect roadkill and they would marvel at the miracles of the anatomy.

[13:05] Laura Camien: They weren't freaked out by it, they weren't grossed out by it, they were fascinated by it.

[13:10] Susan Blackwell: And Jill also had a fascination with the brain because she had a brother who was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

[13:17] Laura Camien: So wow.

[13:18] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[13:19] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[13:19] Susan Blackwell: And she was so curious about how come my dreams, I can take my dreams and essentially make them actionable and you know, do things with them.

[13:29] Laura Camien: And my brother's dreams are experienced as delusions.

[13:34] Susan Blackwell: Like why?

[13:35] Laura Camien: Why is that?

[13:36] Susan Blackwell: So she dedicated her career to the research of severe mental illnesses.

[13:42] Laura Camien: And she worked in a lab at Harvard in the psychiatry department, essentially helping to map the microcircuitry of the brain and how brain cells communicate.

[13:52] Susan Blackwell: So she's doing this brilliant work.

[13:53] Laura Camien: Wow.

[13:54] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, she's really impressive.

[13:56] Laura Camien: And then on the morning of December 10th, 1996, Dr.

[14:01] Susan Blackwell: JBT, I'm just gonna call her JBT because her yeah JBT.

[14:04] Laura Camien: JBT woke up with a headache behind her left eye, which she described as sort of like that feeling of like an ice cream headache that gripped and released and gripped and released.

[14:17] Susan Blackwell: And because she was healthy and pain was unusual for her, she sort of was like, huh, and rolled into her morning routine.

[14:24] Susan Blackwell: So she jumped on her exercise machine and she's working out, and she looks down at her hands and she observed that they looked like primitive claws grasping onto the bar.

[14:37] Laura Camien: And the way she describes it, it's as if she had shifted away from her normal perception of reality, where she's sort of in the driver's seat of the experience to what she described as some esoteric space where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.

[14:54] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. So her headache is getting worse. She gets off the exercise machine and she's trying to make a way to the bathroom, and she realizes that everything is slowing down. And a little voice inside her head is instructing her muscles. You've got to contract. Now you've got to relax, sort of like a conductor of an orchestra. Then she loses her balance and she's leaning against the bathroom wall and she looks down and she realizes she can no longer define the boundaries of her body.

[15:31] Laura Camien: And what she perceived was the atoms that make up her, and the atoms that make up the wall were all the same thing. They're just energy.

[15:41] Susan Blackwell: Wow. Isn't that something else?

[15:44] Laura Camien: Yes. Something else.

[15:46] Susan Blackwell: Wow. So she is asking herself, look, you know, there's that voice in her head saying, What is going on? And then that voice in her head went totally silent. And at first, she said she was shocked to find herself inside of a silent mind. And then she says she was captivated by what she describes as the magnificence of the energy around her. And because I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive. I felt one with all the energy that was, and it was beautiful there.

[16:25] Laura Camien: And then all of a sudden, the brain chatter snapped back online and said, Hey, we've got a problem. We've got to get some help. And she's sort of drifting between these two states. This voice inside her telling her that she needed to get help, and then shifting into a space that she described as beautiful, totally disconnected from the brain chatter that connects one to the external world.

[16:49] Susan Blackwell: And she said, in that space, all stress was gone. There was a lightness in her body. She described it as peaceful, euphoric, innocent, and beautiful. And around this time, this internal voice crackles online again, and it's yelling at her to pay attention and to get help. And then her right arm became totally paralyzed. And that's when Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor realized that she was having a stroke.

[17:20] Laura Camien: Wow.

[17:21] Susan Blackwell: And then her brain said to her, Wow, this is so cool. How many brain scientists have the opportunity to study their own brain from the inside out? So she is just like pinballing between these realities. So what JBT didn't immediately know when she woke up on that morning in 1996 is that a blood vessel had exploded in the left half of her brain. And over the course of the next four hours, she remained conscious and she observed her brain deteriorate in its ability to process information.

[17:58] Laura Camien: She said after the hemorrhage in her brain, she could not walk, talk, read, write, or recall any of her life.

[18:05] Susan Blackwell: And she describes that state as essentially becoming an infant inside a woman's body. But because she remained conscious, and because she's a brain scientist, there was a part of her brain that knew she was having a stroke, and she realized she was observing from the inside all of the things she had studied in textbooks and in classes and in labs for decades.

[18:37] Laura Camien: So she knew and was able to have an awareness, like, oh, this is happening, and could name it and observe it.

[18:46] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Because she actually knew the name for it and what she would have called it had she been watching someone else's brain do that. And because her understanding of the brain on a cellular level was so informed and so nuanced, she is it sort of I feel like she was passing through different states of consciousness. And her brain, you know, different pieces of her brain were sort of trying to wrestle control of the wheel, if you will. There was that part of her that was entering into sort of a transcendent state, a nirvana state. And then there's that part that's sort of like, hey kid, hey kid, we're in trouble over here.

[19:26] Laura Camien: But it sounds like she was also I think I'm I think that I'm headed into a transcendent state.

[19:34] Susan Blackwell: Yes. Like I'm having a stroke, and the implications of that, and you know, it's it was just it's an amazing brain to have this happen to, but she was conscious through the whole thing.

[19:47] Laura Camien: Wow. So this stroke occurred in the left hemisphere of JBT's brain. So I want to talk a little bit about the brain. And I was I want to start with the left hemisphere. I'm gonna call it old lefty.

[19:58] Susan Blackwell: Old lefty, the left hemisphere of the brain thinks linearly and methodically. Remember, she's having the stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain. So it's the part of her brain that thinks linearly and methodically. It's all about the past and it's all about the future.

[20:15] Laura Camien: The left brain.

[20:16] Susan Blackwell: Lefty, yep, lefty is designed to look at the present moment, though, and start picking out details, details upon details upon details. And then lefty categorizes and organizes all of that information and associates it with everything in the past we've ever learned. And it also projects into the future and examines all of our possibilities.

[20:49] Laura Camien: But according to Dr. JBT, perhaps the most important function of the left brain is that it produces a little voice inside of her head that says to its person, whoever the, you know, it says lefty the left brain says, I am.

[21:07] Susan Blackwell: And as soon as the left hemisphere declares, I am, then an individual becomes a separate, single, solid individual, separate from others, separate from the energy flow surrounding us. And that was the portion of her brain that JBT lost the morning of her stroke.

[21:28] Laura Camien: Wow. Wow, because I mean, people talk about that, obviously, that that is where a majority of like human pain comes from is this belief that we are separate.

[21:39] Susan Blackwell: And that is taking place in the left brain.

[21:41] Laura Camien: You were just saying this yesterday.

[21:43] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[21:43] Laura Camien: Yeah. Exactly.

[21:44] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. That we are like, and and so we do have a real need to feel like an individual. Like, a, I want to be celebrated for this particular collection of cells that I am. But I also want to be part of the, you know, the greater whole.

[22:03] Laura Camien: Yes.

[22:03] Susan Blackwell: I think you're going to tell us more about that.

[22:05] Laura Camien: So I am.

[22:06] Susan Blackwell: Yes. And hold that thought in your mind though, because I feel like I want to hear what when I was writing The Spark, I was reflecting on that conversation we were having, where you were saying that. And I would love to hear more about what you think as you hear what I share with you.

[22:22] Laura Camien: Great.

[22:22] Susan Blackwell: Okay. Yep.

[22:23] Laura Camien: Yep.

[22:23] Susan Blackwell: So what remained intact, and what was predominantly running the show the morning of JBT stroke was the right hemisphere of her brain. And according to JBT, righty, the right hemisphere, is all about the present moment. And I'm going to use her words here because I can't put it better. The right hemisphere thinks in pictures and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies. Information in the form of energy streams in simultaneously through all of our sensory systems. And then it explodes into this enormous collage of what this present moment looks like, what it smells like, what it tastes like, what it feels like, what it sounds like.

[23:07] Laura Camien: I still her words.

[23:09] Susan Blackwell: I am an energy being connected to the energy all around me through the consciousness of my right hemisphere. We are energy beings connected to one another through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family. And right here, right now, we are siblings on this planet, here to make the world a better place. And in this moment, we are perfect, we are whole, and we are beautiful. Those are the words of Jill Bolte Taylor. Now, to use the words of my meditation teacher Emily Fletcher, take a shot, everybody.

[23:45] Laura Camien: I have to just pause and say, I was watching a video that Emily Fletcher had posted on Instagram the other day, and she actually referenced me. She doesn't use my last name, but she referenced me, and I was like, oh my God! You all take a shot, Emily Fletcher community. So we have a game that we play on the Sparkfile. Every time I reference Emily Fletcher, everybody takes a shot.

[24:06] Susan Blackwell: Okay, so to use the words of my meditation teacher Emily Fletcher, another way of describing this duality that Jill Bolte Taylor is talking about is the phrase, you are the wave, you are the ocean. So the left brain creates the sensation of each of us as distinct, separate individuals, to your point, Cam's. But the right brain knows we are all the ocean. We are all one thing, and that thing is energy. So, in a fully functioning brain, both are true simultaneously. You are the wave, you are the ocean. You are the wave, you are the ocean.

[24:43] Laura Camien: So, to recap, on the morning of her stroke, with her left hemisphere knocked offline, that right hemisphere, that oneness was in the primary position. That was the primary state of consciousness for Jill Bolte Taylor.

[24:58] Susan Blackwell: So later that afternoon, when she woke up in the hospital, JBT was shocked to discover that she was still alive. There was a moment that she describes when she was finally, she had finally laboriously, this is in the TED Talk, like dialed, figured out how to dial the phone. Took her like 45 minutes to call for help. And she's finally in the ambulance. And she said just she felt her air or the spirit sort of like a balloon deflating. She had made peace with passing, essentially.

[25:29] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[25:29] Susan Blackwell: So she was uh shocked to discover she was still alive. And she described her mind as being suspended between two opposite planes of reality. Stimulation, light, and sound coming in through her sensory systems were extremely painful. And because she could not identify the position of her body in space, she says she felt enormous and expansive, like a genie liberated from her bottle.

[25:58] Laura Camien: Wow.

[25:58] Susan Blackwell: And she said, My spirit sword free like a great whale gliding through the sea of silent euphoria. Nirvana, I found nirvana. And I remember thinking there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.

[26:18] Laura Camien: Wow.

[26:20] Susan Blackwell: Wow. So in her TED Talk, she said she realized I am still alive and I have found nirvana. And if I have found nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone who is alive can find nirvana. And she pictured a world filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people who knew they could come to this space anytime and find this peace. And then she realized what a tremendous gift this experience could be to how we live our lives. And that motivated her to recover. And that recovery took her eight years.

[27:02] Laura Camien: Thanks for coming back, JBT.

[27:04] Susan Blackwell: JBT concluded her TED Talk by saying, So, who are we? We are the life force power of the universe with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds. And we have the power to choose moment by moment who and how we want to be in the world. Right here, right now, I can step into the consciousness of my right hemisphere where we are. I am the life force power of the universe. Or I can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere where I become a single individual, a solid. These are the we inside of me. Which would you choose? Which do you choose and when? I believe that the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world and the more peaceful our planet will be. And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.

[28:05] Laura Camien: That is how Jill Bolte Taylor concluded that TED Talk. And as of the recording of this podcast, that TED Talk has been viewed more than 27 million times. And JBT went on to publish her story in a book called My Stroke of Insight, A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. In 2008, that book debuted near the top of the New York Times bestseller list, and it spent 63 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and is available in over 30 languages. But dig this, Laura Camien, and all you sparkly listeners.

[28:40] Laura Camien: I'm ready.

[28:41] Susan Blackwell: Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor considers that TED Talk a failure.

[28:46] Susan Blackwell: Whoa.

[28:47] Laura Camien: Now why is that, Suze?

[28:49] Susan Blackwell: Because after this great epiphany, she wanted people to hear that story and treat each other with a higher reverence because we are one. We are one family. And while she was treated with a newfound reverence, she said she was treated differently.

[29:06] Laura Camien: That's right.

[29:07] Susan Blackwell: In the world, she observed that her story had not substantively changed the way people treated each other. And so in her heart, it was a miss. And I have to say, I heard that TED Talk and I loved it. I loved the ideas that she presented. I love the artistry. I loved her amazing whole body storytelling. I loved it. And my next thought was, but how? It's beautiful, but short of having my own non-fatal conscious stroke, how do I access that space? Is it through meditation? Is it through medication? Is it through ayahuasca? I craved actionable steps when I watched that TED Talk.

[29:50] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[29:51] Susan Blackwell: And I think that for any TED Talk, I mean, to me, the goal is to spark a desire for and then action has to be taken. So the TED Talk alone, I don't think can necessarily change people's way of being unless they decide, and now I'm going to take action.

[30:10] Laura Camien: Yes.

[30:11] Susan Blackwell: Yes. And without the tools, you know, I mean, it seems like you'd have to make a conscious decision to make a daily practice of changing the way you use your brain.

[30:25] Laura Camien: And but I was also like, even back from that, before committing to a daily practice, I was like, what is the daily practice? Like, what are the steps? What is that?

[30:33] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[30:34] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[30:35] Susan Blackwell: Well, I think Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor gave that a lot of thought as well.

[30:40] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[30:40] Susan Blackwell: And she describes herself as a woman on a mission that even if she gets another 50, 60 years on the planet, she has precious little time. And with this time, JBT is rocking her purpose to help people recognize that they have deep inner peace that they can access in the right hemisphere of their brain. And in this interim time since that TED Talk came out, she has sought an answer to how people can access not only that right brain oneness, but a whole brain, a balanced brain.

[31:16] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[31:16] Susan Blackwell: And she has developed a way for normal people to know their brain and be able to access those different pieces of their brain and the experiences associated with it. So here we go. She says to begin with, you have to be interested and willing to come into the present moment and pay attention to what you are thinking. Step one is sort of an interest and a willingness. And step two is to recognize this. This is something I have heard one million times, but I don't always, I can't always fully wrap my mind around it, let alone make it actionable. But I'm going to try to do so in this podcast and from this day forward. Recognize that you are not your thoughts.

[31:59] Laura Camien: You are not your thoughts.

[32:12] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[32:13] Laura Camien: I was gonna say, like, I yes, I had heard that from a therapist years ago and really grappled with it. I'm like, but if I'm not my thoughts, then what the fuck?

[32:23] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[32:23] Laura Camien: So what am I?

[32:24] Susan Blackwell: So that's what you know.

[32:25] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[32:25] Susan Blackwell: So according to JBT, your thoughts are created by a small cluster of cells about the size of a peanut situated in the left hemisphere of your brain.

[32:36] Laura Camien: The peanut gallery.

[32:38] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. And many of us let that little peanut rule our lives. And really, it's just a group of cells. That little cluster of cells gives us ego and language, and it's designed to tell stories and weave future possibilities, I think, based on past experiences so that we feel safe in the external world. But again, we are not our thoughts. So if we pay attention to what we're thinking and then decide are those thoughts created by the peanut creating the kind of life that you want to make, rock on. But if they're not, then one wants to take some responsibility for that voice, those thoughts, and change those thoughts. And JBT says it's as simple as that.

[33:32] Laura Camien: Now I think it's one of those, it's simple and it's complicated.

[33:35] Susan Blackwell: Well, it's also, it's also reminding me of, you know, the concept of manifesting things and through your thoughts. And way back, this is more of a medical thing, but the idea of like that book, you can't afford the luxury of a negative thought. So when you're sick, my mom read that like when she had cancer, and that you, you know, this concept of like those thoughts shape your reality. And anyway, so I'm just, I'm just like I'm intrigued by it because there are people who describe that, but in different, you know, in different ways.

[34:11] Laura Camien: Yes.

[34:11] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[34:11] Laura Camien: Yes.

[34:11] Susan Blackwell: And this is what I mean by it's sort of like I thought this spark was something, and then I was like, oh, it's not a swimming pool, it's an ocean. And that's another piece of this ocean.

[34:19] Laura Camien: Yes, absolutely.

[34:22] Susan Blackwell: It's like another feature of this ocean. But difference is like she is a doctor and lived through this experience, but also I believe has some scientific knowledge of, you know, the way the brain works.

[34:36] Laura Camien: Correct.

[34:37] Susan Blackwell: So when you hear sometimes when I read things about manifesting things, I'm like, I want to believe. I'm totally like Mulder and Scully, like I want to believe. But I still have like the peanut gallery is like, but do we believe in it? But science.

[34:53] Laura Camien: But science.

[34:53] Susan Blackwell: But science.

[34:54] Laura Camien: And so this is exciting that it really it adds science to the equation.

[34:58] Susan Blackwell: It is based wholly in science.

[35:03] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[35:04] Susan Blackwell: I like. Back to JBT. She says if you keep rethinking the same thought that say makes you angry, and you keep kicking up the chemicals and feelings associated with that thought, that's when you will have the experience of harboring negative thoughts and feelings for years. But you have the ability to be aware of the thoughts and those associated feelings and let them sort of move through you. And you have the possibility of choosing other thoughts. You can only run one thought at a time, says neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor.

[35:34] Laura Camien: You can only run one thought at a time.

[35:42] Susan Blackwell: So if you're running loops of thinking that aren't serving you, then you can give your mind something else to think about. So that the I'm going to do a whole spark on this, but that's where you want to introduce something like a bridge thought. It should be something that is, you know, kind of believable to you. And we'll get into that more later. But for instance, if you look in the mirror and you say sort of like mean things to yourself about your body.

[36:09] Laura Camien: Right.

[36:09] Susan Blackwell: If you're sort of like, uh, fill in the blank mean thought, you can replace that thought with a bridge thought, which would be something like, I've been doing this actually, Laura. If I'm getting out of the shower, I'm looking at myself in the mirror naked, I'm telling off, I will say to myself, that's what a human body looks like.

[36:27] Laura Camien: Oh nice.

[36:28] Susan Blackwell: Instead of being like, uh, I wish I was like a little slimmer through here. I wish my skin didn't look like that there, I'll be like, that's what a human leg looks like. There it is, a strong human leg. That's what the human midsection of a 50-year-old woman looks like. Sorry, 51. But like that's what I mean. Like you can create a bridge thought that you can wrap your mind around, but doesn't create this sort of associated cascade of chemicals and feelings in the body that is not serving us.

[36:56] Laura Camien: And I think like what you're talking about is like rather than going from that negative thought to trying to convince yourself, like I look at myself and I'm a supermodel.

[37:05] Susan Blackwell: That's right.

[37:05] Laura Camien: I, you know, I'm like, and your brain is gonna be like, but you're not exactly but you're not exactly uh K Moss isn't KMOS, by the way.

[37:14] Susan Blackwell: Thank you, you know.

[37:15] Laura Camien: Thank you, filters.

[37:17] Susan Blackwell: Um, but but yeah, so that bridge thought is like it is a positive, but it's based in some realism, yeah.

[37:26] Laura Camien: Your brain can accept.

[37:27] Susan Blackwell: Or like neutral. I'll take neutral sometimes. I'm like neutral's better than just generating thoughts that are really destructive.

[37:37] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[37:37] Susan Blackwell: But to begin with, you must have the willingness to set your ego aside to pay attention to the thoughts that your brain is generating, the feelings that are associated with those thoughts, and not only change those thoughts, but also let those feelings move through you and out of you and not get stuck in those loops. That's what we've talked about before. Emotions need to stay in motion, right?

[38:00] Laura Camien: That's right, right?

[38:05] Susan Blackwell: So, like just keep it moving through. You don't need to torture yourself that, like, oh, I had a negative thought, now I'm thinking now I'm double arrowing.

[38:12] Laura Camien: Yeah, having more negative thoughts about the negative thought I have.

[38:15] Susan Blackwell: Exactly. Now, this uh I'll just quickly say that Laura, you know that there's a repetitive negative thought I have struggled with for like the past few years. And it's just this thing. I could not seem to move. And I was just, I started doing this thing where I would catch it and I would um notice it. And I was like, I would just find substitutions for that thought. And slowly over time, it has, I feel like it's sort of weakened and it's sort of being absorbed back into my body and kind of processing out of me.

[38:56] Laura Camien: That's great.

[38:58] Susan Blackwell: I'm thrilled by it.

[38:59] Laura Camien: That's fantastic.

[39:00] Susan Blackwell: And it ties to the upper limit. Instead of thinking that thought, I would think when I am worried, critical, blaming, or deflecting, I breathe deep and I ask myself, what good things are trying to enter my life right now?

[39:13] Laura Camien: And that was a substitute thought.

[39:16] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[39:17] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[39:17] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[39:19] Laura Camien: Yes, which also is like, like you said, it's um, it's neutral.

[39:23] Susan Blackwell: It's actually in the form of a question.

[39:25] Laura Camien: It's not, it's not even claiming like a million good things are trying to enter.

[39:29] Susan Blackwell: That's right.

[39:30] Laura Camien: It's what good things.

[39:32] Susan Blackwell: But because I can only think one thought at a time, it was enough to disrupt and replace.

[39:38] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[39:39] Susan Blackwell: So Jill's first book was called My Stroke of Insight, a Brain Scientist's Personal Journey, and it details what happened when she had her stroke. Now she's written a book that helps us make the learning that she brought back to us actionable. It is called Whole Brain Living, The Anatomy of Choice, and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life. And this book was written to teach people about the four major areas of the brain and how we can consciously access them and call upon them when necessary and appropriate.

[40:14] Laura Camien: You know, I'm ordering this book right now.

[40:16] Susan Blackwell: I know you are. And I also I would love for you, Laura listeners, you can do this or not, but I have to tell you, it took me what I'm gonna share with you now for me was a little bit complicated to ingest. So it's not just like an 18 minute TED talk, easy hack. Like it took me some time to ingest it, and I'm still in the process of fully understanding it, let alone implementing it. So for me, what helped Laura was having a piece of paper and dividing it into four quadrants.

[40:50] Laura Camien: So making taking a pencil and drawing like a cross on the page that divides the paper into four quadrants, and just take some notes while I talk.

[41:00] Susan Blackwell: That helps me, but maybe I'm just basic and you all will can process language in ways that I can. It took me some wrestling of paper.

[41:10] Laura Camien: Sorry.

[41:10] Susan Blackwell: I'm ready.

[41:11] Laura Camien: Okay, okay.

[41:12] Susan Blackwell: So four quadrants. I also am going to simplify this greatly because I this podcast is not an audio book, and you should it is again scratching the surface of this work and the writings of Jill Bolte Taylor.

[41:29] Laura Camien: So I encourage you to dig in at the next opportunity.

[41:33] Susan Blackwell: So in the most basic terms, Jill thinks of the brain as divided into four characters. Character one, two, three, and four. So in the upper left quadrant of that grid that you just made, Laura, we've got character one.

[41:43] Laura Camien: So in the upper left quadrant, you could write character one left thinking brain.

[41:50] Susan Blackwell: Character one, left thinking brain, upper left quadrant, upper left quadrant, character one, left thinking brain. So this part of the brain, this character in the parlance of Jill Bolte Taylor, that produces sort of type A personality. This part of the brain gets things done. It is productive, it is goal driven, it is punctual, it thinks in right wrong terms, good, bad, it's organized, it's analytical, it's critical, it's judgmental, it's hierarchical, it's in charge of to-do lists, it defines where I begin and where I end so that I'm a separate entity from those around me. It values money and materialism. These are all some features of character one, the left thinking brain.

[42:46] Laura Camien: Sounds great.

[42:47] Susan Blackwell: Well, it's interesting.

[42:51] Laura Camien: I'll go there.

[42:51] Susan Blackwell: There's part of me that's like as she described these things, as she sort of unpacked them, I was like, ugh.

[42:57] Laura Camien: But she will make the case that we need all of it working in concert together.

[43:04] Susan Blackwell: 100%.

[43:08] Susan Blackwell: I was thinking about this at like in terms of um the creative types we talk about. And like, for example, the A-lister. And if you are not, if you are not tapping into that, I am separate and special and unique and deserving of whatever fame and accolades I am, you know, searching for, we wouldn't have, we wouldn't have A listers. Like we wouldn't have people like driven in that particular way. Um, but I'm totally on board with this idea that what we need is a balance of these four quadrants, and I can't wait to hear more.

[43:42] Laura Camien: I'm gonna give you more. So in the lower left quadrant, we've got character two, aka left brain, emotional. So this piece of the brain protects us from harm. It perceives threats based on the past, it holds past emotion, trauma, and pain, but also it's anticipatory and it anticipates pain. And it's so anticipatory pain can be felt here. And you can really indulge, you can linger a while in this. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It is perfectionistic. It is cautious. It is anxious, egotistical, suspicious, deceptive. If it's unhappy, this character two left emotional brain wants everybody to be unhappy. Oh. This is where craving happens, and this is where the emotions around addiction occur or live, I guess. I just think also about like hurt people, hurt people. And that lives in here.

[44:44] Susan Blackwell: That's right. I'm gonna talk about that in a second.

[44:48] Laura Camien: Oh, good. This is where alerts and alarms go off for danger and anger when something is different from us. So character two, aka left brain emotional, contains, among other things, the circuitry of our racism. Whoa. Yes, yes. This is where I want something to be different than what it is, which we also think of as suffering or anger. This is where this lives. This is where things are horrible and life's not fair lives. This is where my happiness is dependent on the external world lives. So, but but also this emotional left brain is an instrument that allows us to interact with the external world. To your point about hurt people, hurt people. Jill Bolte Taylor encourages us to name these different characters.

So I just started to play around with this. I'm not finished, but I was like, that character one, that left thinking brain that is sort of like productive and goal driven and I'm like values, money, materialism. I was like, oh, that's the worker bee part of my brain. That's the worker bee.

[45:57] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. But this lower left quadrant is as much as I hate to admit it, the thing that came back to me was I always think of uh Donald Trump as being this sort of very damaged individual and act so damaged, so hurt that he is acting out in this very damaging, very hurtful way. And so I called that part of my brain the broken Trump. But maybe I'll come up with a different part of just so I don't have to invoke his name.

[46:27] Laura Camien: Exactly. Yeah. I I'm curious about something and that is that um see I for me character two left brain emotional is like um well child of narcissists I'm like so that like ability to perceive threats is you know it's really built up as a you know as a skill but I know people in my life West A who doesn't have that experience doesn't have a lot of anticipatory pain because he doesn't call upon pain from his past and so like when we describe this this left brain emotional I'm like oh I wonder what this is like when this is not like a traumatized person. This is, you know, well it could be a person who's sort of like, oh, I just see potential danger, and I'm going to make sure that I steer us to safety.

[47:21] Susan Blackwell: That could that could be how it shows up in a West A.

[47:24] Laura Camien: Yeah. And I'm not saying that he doesn't, you know, feel obviously he has vulnerabilities and and I think less trauma. And so not to call Wes out, just in general.

[47:35] Susan Blackwell: How Wes, we're calling you out, buddy. Sweet Wesley. Um, but I'm curious about like there's less deception, there's less suspiciousness. This may, you know, some of those traits that I could imagine it's like all of this is on kind of a scale, or maybe how much of us, how much time we spend living in this this quadrant, uh-huh, or how much uh um emphasis we put on this.

[47:59] Laura Camien: Absolutely. This actually reminds me, you know what? I just came up with a different name for this this character too, left brain emotional, which I can't say publicly, but um because I know a person well in my life who lives predominantly in this space and acts predominantly from this part of their brain.

[48:22] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[48:23] Laura Camien: And they are extremely wounded, they are extremely suspicious, they expect, they anticipate based on their past um pains and traumas, they anticipate more pains and traumas coming in the future. They are deceptive. They if they're unhappy, they want everyone to be unhappy. I know this person well, so I rename this part of the brain with that person's name, which I shall not say publicly.

[48:51] Susan Blackwell: But you'll tell me later.

[48:53] Laura Camien: Maybe.

[48:55] Susan Blackwell: Of course I will. I'm thinking right now, I may come back to a different one, but right now I'm thinking about this as open wound.

[49:03] Laura Camien: Oh, there you go.

[49:05] Susan Blackwell: There you go. Okay. But also, it serves a purpose. It does keep us safe and you know, yeah, anticipates dangers and perceived safety. Like this person thinks I'm gonna, yeah. If I let go of this, I will not be safe.

[49:18] Laura Camien: Yeah, yeah.

[49:19] Susan Blackwell: Okay. So now I want to jump over to the right brain, which is all if the left brain is all about the past and the future, the right brain is all about the present moment. And I want you to now visit that lower right quadrant, lower right quadrant in your notebook. We've got character three, right brain emotional. This character three, right brain emotional is attuned to how it feels to be in the present moment in this body. How does the clothing feel against your skin? How does the humidity in the air feel? It is playful, it is creative without judgment, it is interested and empathic and forgiving and curious and awe-inspired. It's also an adrenaline junkie. It's good with chaos and mess. It's good with a day without a schedule. It perceives itself as connected to other people, part of a tribe, it cares about the collective, the planet, the climate, humanity. That is character three, right brain emotional, lower right quadrant.

[50:31] Laura Camien: I'm taking a guess here, but when we are in the presence of uh an act of creativity, a work of art, whether that be sculpture or theater or film or painting, it is it right brain emotional that is like allowing us to connect deeply and in the moment. I it might be right brain emotional, but it might be this next, it might also span into this next character. So I'll describe it to you, and maybe we can unpack that a little bit. So finally, in the upper right quadrant, we've got character four, right brain thinking. So if you're following along with a pen and paper, upper right quadrant, character four, right brain thinking. The consciousness of right brain thinking, character four is about no boundaries.

It's about peace and good and nurturing. It is filled with gratitude. The goal is to love and be loved unconditionally. It is grateful. It is connected to all that is. It's open-hearted, expansive, and generous. It is that sense of deep inner peace and prayer and meditation and religion, all of it, I think altruistically, the ultimate goal of it is to reach this space.

[51:54] Susan Blackwell: It's not just about power and money, it's to reach this space. This character four, right brain thinking is all about nurturing and loving others. So I to your question, Laura, I think sometimes when we see a piece of creativity that we might describe as transcendent, it might be taking us into three, or it might be taking us into four. And maybe Jill Bolte Taylor will have to clarify that for us. But I've been in the presence of other people's creativity and in the presence of my own creativity and my own self-expression, that takes me all the way to character four.

[52:31] Laura Camien: What um does was what does um our dear doctor say about multiple quadrants being lit up at once? Like can we be, or are we all are we always only in one? The reason I ask that is because character two, our left frame emotional may inform why certain pieces of art affect us more deeply than another piece of art.

[52:57] Susan Blackwell: I don't think I know enough to know the answer to that question, but here's where my mind goes when you ask. I don't know facts, but I've got opinions. And here's where my mind goes. We were uh we have a wonderful client, Julianne, who is making wonderful work, and the foundation of it is movement, specifically tap dancing, and language, and it's it's uh woven through with her activism and her desire to be of service and be an agent for positive change in the world. And she made a point the other day when she was uh presenting a piece of her creativity to the group, how the work that she is doing based in science lights up all the parts of the brain.

[53:41] Laura Camien: Yeah, it activates all the parts of the brain.

[53:44] Susan Blackwell: And so I my suspicion, which I would have to do more research to, you know, see if I'm accurate here, but I think that there are things, it might be one of the reasons something like Hamilton thrills and delights so many of us because it's activating so many parts of our brains.

[54:01] Laura Camien: Yes.

[54:01] Susan Blackwell: It's like the language and the speed at that it's coming at us is really engaging. And it's literally about the past.

[54:09] Laura Camien: It is about the past.

[54:11] Susan Blackwell: Um, but it's in the present moment. But it's in the past and we're experiencing it with a community of people and we're all breathing together and our hearts are beating together if it's doing its job right. So I feel like I suspect.

[54:23] Laura Camien: I think you're right.

[54:24] Susan Blackwell: I suspect that the answer is yes. I feel like the work that we have enjoyed with Anthony Viniciale from Freestyle Love Supreme. His his deep interest and expertise around how the brain works also has pointed to there are things that light up. And we've seen those brain scans where the whole brain is lit up.

[54:48] Laura Camien: That's right.

[54:48] Susan Blackwell: Yeah. Improv and like what they the freestyle activates at least a number of the quadrants.

[54:56] Laura Camien: Yeah. Um I yeah, I suspect your suspicion is correct. We'll dig deeper on that.

[55:03] Susan Blackwell: Um, but I like we were saying earlier, while we may be drawn to one or two of these quadrants slash characters, Jill Bolte Taylor asserts that we need it all to function and to create. And when people ask her why on earth she came back from this right brain nirvana reality she was living in, she said that while it was absolutely fantastic, she believes she would have plenty of time for that kind of peace after she died.

[55:34] Laura Camien: After she died, all the chatter goes away.

[55:36] Susan Blackwell: And she'd have plenty of time for that piece. And to live completely in the right brain was a completely non-effective way to be. You have to have it all to be a functional human being. And she knew that she had to recover and come back so that she could share her discoveries with the world to make the world a better, more unified, peaceful place. And to do that, she had to exercise, she had to recover and then really exercise all of that left brain goodness.

[56:07] Laura Camien: Suze, I know that um you're not a, you know, a person for organized religion, but I just want to pause and just say, however, our brains were made. How fucking phenomenal. Like how miraculous, how like that this all works together in this way. I mean, it's you know, human body, you cannot how if you really start to think about it, how can you not just spend days and days and days just marveling about it is the extraordinariness of it.

[56:42] Susan Blackwell: Extraordinary.

[56:44] Laura Camien: And that's another thing that's so fun about listening to Jill Bolte Taylor and reading her work is because she is somebody who knows the science of it and marvels at the miraculous complexity of all of it, the way that it evolved.

[57:01] Susan Blackwell: That's right.

[57:01] Laura Camien: I said it evolved.

[57:02] Susan Blackwell: Like it's um and you said miraculous.

[57:05] Laura Camien: Yeah, and I said miraculous.

[57:06] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[57:07] Laura Camien: I did, yeah, yeah.

[57:09] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, I'm with you, Cam. I'm with you. It's it's extraordinary.

[57:12] Laura Camien: It's one of the reasons I was so excited. One of the reasons that I am so filled with like euphoria about talking about this with you today.

[57:23] Susan Blackwell: So according to JBT, the ultimate goal really is whole brain living, consciously utilizing all the parts of the brain when they are most useful.

[57:35] Susan Blackwell: And as I said, she encourages people to name each of these four different parts of their brain so that each of us can own those identities and create healthy patterns and choose moment by moment which thoughts you want to be thinking and which parts of your brain you want to be utilizing and how you want to be in the world.

[57:57] Laura Camien: She believes that the evolution of humanity rests in this whole brain thinking.

[58:04] Susan Blackwell: No less than the evolution of humanity, baby cams, so that we have the power to choose moment to moment who we want to be in the world, which she believes is the ultimate freedom.

[58:16] Laura Camien: And you know, the moment she said the F-word freedom, I was like, you got me, Jill Bolte Taylor.

[58:24] Susan Blackwell: So she does this exercise that she calls a brain huddle. She said she does it about 30 times a day. And in a brain huddle, in an instant, she has these four parts of her brain huddle up, assess a situation, and consciously decide which part of the brain she's going to call upon to serve the purpose.

[58:44] Laura Camien: That's right.

[58:45] Susan Blackwell: That's right. So this is where we get into action. So, for instance, this is an example that she shared in a podcast that I listened to. If she's out on the lake where she lives and she's paddle boarding and she starts to see a storm rolling in, she is in her bliss and her character for bliss is having this wonderful time and is observing the drama in the sky as just being so gorgeous.

[59:10] Laura Camien: And then her character three says, Oh, I love it out here so much.

[59:14] Susan Blackwell: And then character one comes online and says, It looks like we're about to have a lightning storm. So we might want to think about going in. And then character three chimes in and says, Let's wait, let's just wait until we see if there's actually lightning. And then little character two chimes in and says, I'm not very happy about this because if this paddleboard deflates, I'm gonna be stuck out here and there's gonna be lightning and we're gonna be in danger. And character four is watching this whole conversation saying, if we live, we live, and if we die, we had a heck of a run.

[59:47] Laura Camien: And this is just a sample conversation between those four characters.

[59:47] Susan Blackwell: What Jill Bolte Taylor is proposing is that we're able to identify which pieces of our brains are thinking slash talking to us and having conscious choice about which parts of our brain we want to pay attention to and when, which again, she believes leads to personal freedom.

[1:00:09] Laura Camien: Jill Bolte Taylor states that the best approach to living stems from the consciousness of the intention of the right hemisphere, which nurtures oneness and greets the world with that.

[1:00:22] Susan Blackwell: And then using the tools of the left hemisphere to create and be productive in the world. I'm gonna say that one more time. The best approach to living stems from the consciousness of the intention of the right hemisphere, which nurtures oneness and greets the world with that, and then uses the tools of the left hemisphere to create and be productive in the world.

[1:00:46] Laura Camien: I'm repeating myself throughout this episode because I have to tell you, it took me multiple listenings to wrap my mind around this.

[1:00:55] Susan Blackwell: And to your point about a TED talk is there to spark curiosity. It's not gonna be the thing that I mean, it has to set off a chain of action.

[1:01:03] Laura Camien: Yeah, yeah.

[1:01:04] Susan Blackwell: That's why I'm just slowing it down and repeating myself. It's for me as much as it is for any of you listeners. It helps it really sink in.

[1:01:12] Laura Camien: Yeah, yeah.

[1:01:13] Susan Blackwell: So I want to enter into what are we making of this spark that is Jill Bolte Taylor, her brain and her work. Well, if you're Jill Bolte Taylor, you tell your story.

[1:01:25] Laura Camien: You I'm Camien and talk about if you have to live it, you might as well make something out of it.

[1:01:25] Susan Blackwell: Jill Bolte Taylor, this was painful. This was a painful, laborious process. And Jill Bolte Taylor has said if she went back to that morning and had a choice about it happens or it doesn't happen, stroke, no stroke, she would take the stroke.

[1:01:46] Laura Camien: It's led to so much learning and consciousness and purpose, clarifying her purpose.

[1:01:55] Susan Blackwell: So she's like, I take the stroke. So and I just want to say that for people who might be going through something right now.

[1:02:04] Laura Camien: We all are or are going to be, as long as we're alive.

[1:02:16] Susan Blackwell: So there certainly is. So here's what Jill Bolte Taylor made out of that possibility. She's written two books. She teaches, she speaks, her purpose has been clarified and focused as a result of this lived experience.

[1:02:30] Laura Camien: She's made a whole life where she travels the world keynoting and spreading the word about her work.

[1:02:36] Susan Blackwell: And then six months of the year, she lives on a boat on a cove of a lake, communing with nature. Jill Bolte Taylor is rocking all the quadrants of her brain.

[1:02:49] Laura Camien: But what else has been made of this?

[1:02:51] Susan Blackwell: According to Wikipedia, the Cedar Lake Ballet Company made a 75 minute ballet called Orbo Novo, inspired by Jill's work. Orbo Novo means new world. And the text that 17 dancers speak during the first moments of this ballet comes from My Stroke of Insight.

[1:03:13] Laura Camien: And the choreography is sparked by the duality between the left brain's rationality and the instinctive sensual responses of the right brain, between the control and the lack of it, between balance and instability between solitude and society.

[1:03:29] Susan Blackwell: So maybe you make some movement, some dance. I mean, a dance piece is would, you know, is an extraordinary amazing thing to interpret by a dance.

[1:03:40] Laura Camien: But if dance isn't your jam, how about a movie?

[1:03:42] Susan Blackwell: The book, My Stroke of Insight, and Dr. Taylor's Life Rights were optioned by Ron Howard to be made into a feature film with him directing and Jodie Foster starring in the role of JBT. But after Ron Howard's option expired, Oprah Winfrey scooped up those rights.

[1:03:59] Laura Camien: Effort for Harper films.

[1:04:01] Susan Blackwell: So more on this story, more on that story as it develops. If you're not a film lover, how about some music?

[1:04:06] Laura Camien: In 2019, on the occasion of Dr. Taylor's 60th birthday, the Cecilia Chorus of New York presented the world premiere of 50 Trillion Molecular Geniuses at Carnegie Hall, setting text from My Stroke of Insight to music.

[1:04:22] Susan Blackwell: And I'll tell you what else I'm making of it. As you know, Camien, I have been wrestling. This is a small thing. To me, it's a big thing. I have been wrestling with a conundrum. You know this, Laura.

[1:04:36] Laura Camien: When I set aside downtime, my thoughts don't always let me rest.

[1:04:42] Susan Blackwell: If we have a little bit of time off, for instance, I have sometimes my thoughts will be thinking, you need to be doing more. You need to get more done. You need to be cleaning, you need to work through that pile of stuff you want to do. Why aren't you painting? Why aren't you getting your bookkeeping in order? Aren't you resting? Why aren't you resting? You're resting wrong.

[1:05:01] Laura Camien: And it really taints this much needed downtime.

[1:05:04] Susan Blackwell: It makes it feel stressful and unsettled instead of being peaceful and restful. And what I'm discovering through the work of JBT is that my brain, which has been working so hard with Laura to build a business, to create on schedule things like this podcast.

[1:05:24] Laura Camien: That left brain has been working so hard.

[1:05:27] Susan Blackwell: And my brain wants some right hemisphere time. But my character one, that left hemisphere thinking, and probably also sometimes left hemisphere feeling is so strong and it wants me to stay on task, even in my downtime. But now I know what I'm aiming for is a life that embraces whole brain thinking.

[1:05:45] Laura Camien: And Jill Bolte Taylor talks about how the left brain push, push, pushes, but we also have to pause.

[1:05:53] Susan Blackwell: The stress circuitry inside our brain will dump cortisol all over our cells if we keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing.

[1:06:02] Laura Camien: And Christopher Still, if you're listening to this, yeah.

[1:06:07] Susan Blackwell: Pushing and pushing and pushing, but we have to pause. And they're doing their job. They're trying to keep me on track. They're trying to keep me safe. But it's a good thing to let myself have some right hemisphere time, both thinking and feeling.

[1:06:36] Laura Camien: And so, what does that look like?

[1:06:37] Susan Blackwell: I think it looks like rest. I think it looks like creativity, not tied to deadlines or money making or public consumption. It is rest for the sake of rest and rest for the sake of play.

[1:06:54] Laura Camien: But to get there, I think it has to start with a willingness to be aware of my thoughts, identify which character in my brain is speaking, and when necessary, huddling up and deciding which character suggestions are most useful, appropriate, and helpful in that moment.

[1:07:12] Susan Blackwell: So that has been a real point of clarity for me.

[1:07:16] Laura Camien: Yes, all of that.

[1:07:21] Susan Blackwell: I love it so much. I'm thinking about the brain huddles that I want to have. Like, let's just bring the team together here and determine best path forward.

[1:07:32] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:07:32] Susan Blackwell: I think about our work, Laura, which I think at its best, our work, we are striving for transcendence. We are striving for providing ourselves and others with a character four experience of right brain feeling.

[1:07:49] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:07:50] Susan Blackwell: And to get there, we have to utilize character three, which is that right brain thinking, but we also have to rock the left brain.

[1:08:02] Laura Camien: We have to plan our curriculum beautifully and craft it.

[1:08:07] Susan Blackwell: We have to start our classes on time. We want to make sure that our accounting software is in place so that we can track our earnings. Like we want to even anticipate what future possibilities, including future dangers, might, you know, be afoot so that we can all of it, all of it, all of it.

[1:08:30] Laura Camien: Suze, I like I'm really excited about there's two major thoughts that are going through my mind as we're talking about.

[1:08:35] Susan Blackwell: Say them out loud.

[1:08:37] Laura Camien: Yeah, I'm gonna say them. I'm gonna declare them. So two things. One is this is not for everyone, but for those um for those like people those clients that we have that like really swing big that want to make a piece that is not just um uh you know a personal piece, which is which is its own thing, but rather like uh they aspire to the Hamilton of the world, the game changing, life-changing impact of a show like that for those people running a piece through and assessing it in the development process for does it have aspects that touch all four quadrants of the brain, yeah, making that a filter through which they should think at some point, maybe not right at the beginning, yeah, along the way, does it touch all these points?

[1:09:39] Susan Blackwell: And therefore we'll give it a much better chance of having that level of impact.

[1:09:44] Laura Camien: Um, which is not to say that those things that have the very personal impact, like that's that's oftentimes my thing. So, you know, there's no judgment attached to this. I'm just saying um for those who aspire to that.

[1:09:57] Susan Blackwell: But then similarly, for those who aspire to craft a life, a well-lived life, the container that they choose to hold their life, it needs to contain the thing like touch points, whole brain thinking.

[1:10:16] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:10:16] Susan Blackwell: Yes.

[1:10:17] Laura Camien: And each of these, like I'm I'm excited to get into the book because I do think I want to know what is a healthy character to look like.

[1:10:25] Susan Blackwell: Not an unhealthy character two, but like, can character two be healthy and be, yes, do what it does best in terms of perceiving threats and using past emotions to inform you know what we can anticipate in this moment.

[1:10:41] Laura Camien: Um, but can it be in a healthy character?

[1:10:43] Susan Blackwell: It's a great question.

[1:10:44] Laura Camien: Absolutely.

[1:10:46] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[1:10:46] Laura Camien: So a big life can, you know, can we build a container for a life that has four healthy characters and that utilizes each of them to their best capabilities.

[1:10:58] Susan Blackwell: Amen.

[1:10:59] Laura Camien: I love it.

[1:11:00] Susan Blackwell: I love this spark so much.

[1:11:03] Laura Camien: I am telling you, I do too.

[1:11:06] Susan Blackwell: It brings me a great deal of peace. Even to be able to say, have this language to say to you, Laura, like if we have been going like riding left brain business building for a long time, to be able to say, Laura, I feel like we say it in other ways, but to have this resource to draw upon and to say, I need a day that is unstructured, that is, I'm not making stuff for others' consumption on a deadline.

[1:11:38] Laura Camien: It's not monetized.

[1:11:40] Susan Blackwell: It's um and and on a day-to-day basis, it tells me that it's important. It reinforces to me that it's important that in addition to the creative practice that I have that is publicly consumed, things like this podcast, I know this about myself, but it really reinforces that I need to have a creative practice that nobody else gets a vote on.

[1:12:04] Laura Camien: Yep.

[1:12:05] Susan Blackwell: It's not tied to public consumption, it's not tied to deadlines. It really is just tied to the pleasure or the just the I won't even say pleasure, just the experience of that free creativity. Letting your right brain have some fun, letting your right brain have some time to stretch out.

[1:12:20] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:12:26] Susan Blackwell: At the wheel.

[1:12:27] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:12:28] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[1:12:29] Laura Camien: This is amazing.

[1:12:32] Susan Blackwell: Oh, thanks, Laura. I'm so excited by the mark. There's a few more thoughts I want to share because I think there's help, they were helpful to me. So maybe they'll be helpful to you all. But um, these are this is from an article that Jill wrote for AARP magazine.

[1:12:48] Laura Camien: Oh, have you received your card in the mail?

[1:12:53] Susan Blackwell: Um, but so these are Jill's words. Uh, all comebacks basically happen in the brain. And I think she was referring to both her eight-year recovery from the stroke, but also the in the in a 24-hour cycle, the recovery that sleep provides. So all comebacks basically happen in the brain. So you need to treat your brain right. Number one, make sleep a priority, especially when there's trauma. Brain cells are living matter, just like we are, and they need rest. When you don't sleep, you feel foggy because the cells didn't have time to clear the waste out of your body.

[1:13:26] Laura Camien: Oh, yes.

[1:13:27] Susan Blackwell: She she goes on in this article that she cuts out all screen time three hours before bed to avoid that energetic buzz. She also says it helps that I live on a boat, which to me is like a giant waterbed. There are nature sounds. I sleep like a catfish at the bottom of a lake. Can we just get that into the can we make that like a southern phrase? Oh, I slept like a catfish at the bottom of the lake.

[1:13:50] Laura Camien: She also said, uh, watch your nutrition too. A brain needs water to function properly. It needs fruits and vegetables. Putting sugar in your body only makes it harder for cells to recover, which makes makes me sad because I always want a sweet snack at night. I always want a sweet snack at night. Celia Keenan-Bolger, if you're listening to this.

[1:14:09] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:14:10] Susan Blackwell: Um she says, move your body. Movement is everything.

[1:14:13] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:14:14] Susan Blackwell: Otherwise, more and more waste builds up. So we've known all these things. We've heard these things before from different thought leaders. You know, whether it's the Nagoski sisters talking about completing the stress response cycle, or we all know that we need to get plenty of sleep so that our cells can clear out waste and recover. We need to minimize that screen time. We need to drink a lot of water, fruits and vegetables, try to, you know, ease up on the sugar. And that movement is everything. It's just everything, you know.

[1:14:48] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:14:49] Susan Blackwell: So ultimately, what do I make of this? I'm aiming for that whole brain living that Dr. JBT describes, living that stems from the consciousness of the intention of the right hemisphere, which nurtures that oneness and greets the world with that oneness and then uses the tools of the left hemisphere to create and be productive in the external world. And you thought that was my spark, but I just want to bring it back around to please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.

[1:15:18] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:15:19] Susan Blackwell: If you're not familiar with that phrase, that is a sign that Jill Bolte Taylor had in her hospital room when she was recovering from her stroke. She was essentially living in that right brain space where she was at one with every being that entered into her hospital room. And if somebody entered into her hospital room, she was all perception. And if they were in a bad mood, if they wouldn't look at her or talk to her, but would talk to other people in the room or talk to her mom and not address her directly and ask her questions. She felt it this really palpably. And so as a result, a sign was made. Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space. Oprah Winfrey has adopted this.

She has this in her homes, in her dressing rooms, in her office. Laura has it in her office. And we have it as one of the guidelines in our group. Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into the space. We are all like little beacons sending and receiving these energies. And so we think it's important to live by that guideline and take responsibility for the energy that we bring into the space, which includes this podcast.

[1:16:39] Laura Camien: Amen.

[1:16:40] Susan Blackwell: And that is my spark, which could go the ocean of the spark could go on and on indefinitely, but I think that is my spark for today. Even in like the nutrition and the movement, like we've heard some of these things before, but to understand them in a larger context, to understand them from the sense of like what operates our entire body.

[1:17:06] Laura Camien: That's right.

[1:17:07] Susan Blackwell: Is you know, this machine, and it needs to stay healthy. And this is how you and not just our body, but our consciousness and our thoughts, everything, yes, and so yeah, does it mean that I'm gonna stop eating kettle corn at night before I go to bed? I'm not sure. But when I reach for the kettle corn, it will be an informed choice because I'll be saying now, you know, if you do this, it's gonna make it harder for those cells to clear out waste as you sleep. Do you want to make that choice? And sometimes having that information makes it easier to make a good choice.

[1:17:41] Laura Camien: Yep.

[1:17:42] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, and I think you know, speaking as a highly sensitive empath, people being more conscious of the energy they bring into the space.

[1:17:53] Laura Camien: Oh, the, you know, I I think that we don't do enough of frankly, highly sensitive empaths have not been recognized enough. I'm kidding. That's another spark for another day. Um, but I mean, in terms of like um our groups are full of highly sensitive empaths, yeah. A lot of artists are, and that's what makes, you know, in many cases, that's what makes them so connected to their art. And to selfishly kind of bring in whatever, whatever without thought, whatever stuff you're dealing with into a space like that, you don't realize like they are like you said, we're all these receptors, and there's like these little open open vessels ready to receive. And when someone comes flying in with um, you know, negative energy or aggressive energy, character two, character two on the scene.

[1:18:53] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, it's it can be incredibly disruptive. So, not saying that you know, people can't ever be character two, but to be aware when you enter a group space, I think about it for beneficial for others or not.

[1:19:06] Laura Camien: For you and I.

[1:19:07] Susan Blackwell: You and I collaborate all day, every day. And you know, that means we are two human beings riding the roller coaster of our lived experiences. And there are times I think we probably each of us probably does better or less well managing the energy we bring into the space. But I do see how we try to be conscious of it. And I feel like this information and being able to say to say to you, Laura, I'm not sure if it's because of the kettle corn I ate for dinner last night, but I am rocking character two so hard right now. And I'm trying to change my thinking, and I'm trying to get over into up into character one or over into character three. And I just want to put you, I just want to uh acknowledge that and put you on alert.

[1:19:56] Laura Camien: Well, I think this is really interesting because um, you know, when you say freedom, like that's your word for me, it's authenticity.

[1:20:04] Susan Blackwell: Yeah, yeah.

[1:20:05] Laura Camien: Yeah.

[1:20:06] Susan Blackwell: And so for I think for many years, I thought that the glory of like being able to tell the truth and be authentically me meant that, like if you ask, How am I doing? You see, I mean, for a lot of people, I'm sure I would still be like, I'm great. Um, but if you, someone I care about, someone I trust, said, How are you doing? I would answer as truthfully and authentically in that moment of here's what it is. But I'm now realizing how much better it may be. That this doesn't mean that those things aren't true, but whatever it is I'm feeling before I enter this space, can I make that shift into a different into a different quad quadrant? Why do I stumble all the time on quadrant into a different quadrant?

[1:20:49] Laura Camien: There you go.

[1:20:54] Susan Blackwell: Quadrant. Nailed it. Nailed it. That's a quadrant right there.

[1:20:56] Laura Camien: Um I'm in this quadrant.

[1:21:01] Susan Blackwell: So taking a moment to do that does not make the other thing untrue. And it does not make it inauthentic. It means I made a shift in my energy prior to arriving in this conversation, which is not to say you won't, you know, uh come upon me one day where I'm like, I am not good right now. I am in this, and this is this is where I am, and this is the truth. That's what I'm gonna tell you. Um, but if I can make the shift prior to our appointment, our previously scheduled time together, uh-huh, then how great. How great would that be?

[1:21:43] Laura Camien: Yeah, I've again the swimming pool becomes the ocean, and my thoughts travel into life is filled with all sorts of things. There's ups, there's downs. This is the part of the the whatever quadrant sees things in black and white, and I don't mean to be reductive, but there's so many different dimensions and shades to life. And it's not to assign um to say, oh, we want to make sure that we cut out that negative stuff. We we don't want to cut it out. It's just about having choice because there are things that have um grief and pain and I guess darker feelings associated with them. And they're part of they're an important part of the lived experience too. But what you're saying, Laura, is that can be true.

Evidence fact-based, it can be true, and also the flavor, the the part of the brain that you let examine that and express that doesn't have to just default completely subconsciously to like just to continue to go back to that sort of like character two or that, you know what I mean?

[1:22:53] Laura Camien: Uh 100%, particularly when I'm not currently in trauma. I would say caveat is someone experiencing trauma.

[1:23:01] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[1:23:01] Laura Camien: They are gonna, you know, it is different. You may have different levels of ability to shift your energy. And if you are going through a trauma, it may not be incredibly easy until you have some healing, right?

[1:23:16] Susan Blackwell: Okay. Here's another here's another feature of the ocean. There's somebody who's very near and dear to us who is like really, really going through it. And uh, both in real time but also anticipating future loss. And I wonder if there might be ways we can support this person by helping them in addition to the time that their brain is spending in character two space and care even character one space, that we could support them and having some time in character three and four space.

[1:23:53] Laura Camien: Oh 100%. 100%.

[1:23:55] Susan Blackwell: Yeah.

[1:23:56] Laura Camien: Yes.

[1:23:58] Susan Blackwell: I think so. All that I think because this is an ocean, uh, we're just gonna call pencils down now. I think we're gonna have to, but we have to, but more on this, but more on the story as it develops.

[1:24:09] Laura Camien: Oh man, Laura, I hope you enjoyed this spark as much as I did. Uh and listeners, same for you, you beautiful whole brains.

[1:24:19] Susan Blackwell: Susie Q, amazing job. This episode of the Sparks File was made on the lands of the Lenape people and the Seminole people. And as always, we hope that it put another bunch of sparks in your file. Listen, if there's a spark you'd like us to explore, or if you've taken a spark and fanned it into a creative flame and you'd like to share that, you can email us at thesparkfile at gmail.com or submit it through our website, thesparkfile.com. We will even take your feedback, but you know the price of admission. First, you must share a creative risk that you've taken recently.

[1:24:55] Laura Camien: You can follow us on social at the sparkfile and be sure to subscribe, rate, and even five-star review this podcast. It really helps other listeners to find us, especially subscribing. So please do that. If you like this podcast, we do hope that you'll share it with people you love. And if you didn't like it, you know what? We take responsibility for our emotional triggers. So you can have your thoughts and your feelings, and it doesn't really affect us.

[1:25:20] Susan Blackwell: That's right. If something tickles your fancy and gets your creative juices flowing, we are writing you a forever permission slip to make that thing that's been knocking at your door. It's your turn to take a spark and fan it into a flame. You gotta take it and make it by friends.

[1:25:34] Laura Camien: Bye.

[1:25:40] Susan Blackwell: You beautiful brains.

[1:25:42] Laura Camien: When I bump into something that inspires me.

[1:25:47] Susan Blackwell: I dump it in the spark files.

[1:25:52] Laura Camien: Could be something that I wanna make or how I wanna be.

[1:25:57] Susan Blackwell: I'll pump it in the spark files.

[1:26:02] Laura Camien: I jump into my spark files.

[1:26:06] Susan Blackwell: Let's open up the spark fire.